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My Year of Living Spiritually: From Woo-Woo to Wonderful--One Woman’s Secular Quest for a More Soulful Life
In 2017, Anne Bokma embarked on a quest to become a more spiritual person. After leaving the fundamentalist religion of her youth, she became one of the eighty million North Americans who consider themselves spiritual-but-not-religious, the fastest growing “faith” category. In mid-life she found herself addicted to busyness, drinking too much, hooked on social media, dreading the empty nest and still struggling with alienation from her ultra-religious family. In response, she set out on a year-long whirlwind adventure to immerse herself in a variety of sacred practices―each of which proved to be illuminating in unexpected ways―to try to develop her own definition of what it means to be spiritual. In My Year of Living Spiritually, Bokma documents a diverse range of soulful first-person experiences―from taking a dip in Thoreau’s Walden Pond, to trying magic mushrooms for the first time, booking herself into a remote treehouse as an experiment in solitude, singing in a deathbed choir and enrolling in a week-long witch camp―in an entertaining and enlightening way that will compel readers (non-believers and believers alike) to try a few spiritual practices of their own. Along the way, she reconsiders key relationships in her life and begins to experience the greater depth of meaning, connection, gratitude, simplicity and inner peace that we all long for. Readers will find it an inspiring roadmap for their own spiritual journeys.
256 pages, Paperback
Published March 21, 2020
18 people are currently reading
290 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
March 26, 2020
Anne Bokma takes a long walk from her fundamentalist childhood, out the church doors to a year of exploring spirituality in its many manifestations. She does tread a lot of ground others have tread, but the psychedelics chapter goes farther than most (it helps that she's in Canada) - I also found her ruminations after experiences to be where the best ideas were found. She is clearly also struggling with her sex life and marriage throughout this journey, which at first seemed irrelevant but wraps up in a way I found satisfying. She may not believe in the authenticity of some of these practices, but she is able to pinpoint what she does believe in, even if that is letting go, connecting with others, and being honest.
She does grapple with cultural appropriation sometimes but doesn't notice it every time, and while she's honest about the learning, I had a few cringy moments. The throughline about how her rejection of her childhood religion and her reflection of these experiences effects the relationship with her family is an element that takes this beyond only being a journalistic exercise. Resources are listed at the end for people who have left their religions and need support. She interacts directly with Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion, a book I read a few years ago and found useful.
It was interesting to read this back to back with How to Be Fine: What We Learned from Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books because both books are women experiencing what others think they should do to live and coming to their own conclusions. Self-help, spirituality, find your own path.
This book came out March 21, 2020 in the United States (October 2019 originally,) and I had a copy from the publisher through Edelweiss.
She does grapple with cultural appropriation sometimes but doesn't notice it every time, and while she's honest about the learning, I had a few cringy moments. The throughline about how her rejection of her childhood religion and her reflection of these experiences effects the relationship with her family is an element that takes this beyond only being a journalistic exercise. Resources are listed at the end for people who have left their religions and need support. She interacts directly with Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion, a book I read a few years ago and found useful.
It was interesting to read this back to back with How to Be Fine: What We Learned from Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books because both books are women experiencing what others think they should do to live and coming to their own conclusions. Self-help, spirituality, find your own path.
This book came out March 21, 2020 in the United States (October 2019 originally,) and I had a copy from the publisher through Edelweiss.
July 29, 2019
Readers of "My Year of Living Spiritually" will be taken on a fascinating journey, exploring with Anne a variety of spiritual practices and experiences. Highly recommended!
January 4, 2021
One of a growing number of midlife memoirs that are finding their way to my bookshelf as I research and write my own book about midlife. I really enjoyed spending time in the company of this author: having the opportunity to share her thinking, learning, and growing.
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July 30, 2019Anne Bokma took on the assignment of not only finding the path to a more spiritual life but unraveling her own childhood experience within a strict religion. She also tackled a plethora of unresolved personal issues; childhood feelings of abandonment, a distant stepfather and a flailing marriage. Anne was up for anything, from taking magic mushrooms to forest bathing and playing with goats while doing yoga and she navigated through it all with a sense of grace and fearlessness. For me, reading about her personal heartfelt stories was the most compelling and once I started the book, I couldn’t put it down. I plan on trying more than a few of the things in the book.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who is looking to broaden their spiritual path and for those just looking for a great read.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who is looking to broaden their spiritual path and for those just looking for a great read.
July 30, 2019
I loved this book. Anne Bokma dares to try everything that everyone else only wonders about. She's fearless in her approach to learning and discovery and that attitude translates into a great read.
It was a wonderful adventure to follow her spiritual quests. Two thumbs up!
It was a wonderful adventure to follow her spiritual quests. Two thumbs up!
July 20, 2019
n one experimental, life-changing year, Anne Bokma sets out on a series of spiritual adventures that range from taking magic mushrooms and hanging out with witches to hosting a death dinner. In the process she discovers new truths about herself, her childhood, and her complicated relationship with her mother. Her writing is fearless and honest, never settling for easy answers. Bokma gives us a model for how to seek a more authentic and grounded spiritual life with curiosity, openness, and passion. Read "My Year of Living Spiritually" for inspiration and tips on how you can take a walk on the wild side in your own spiritual life.
January 13, 2020
I very much enjoyed this book. Anne Bokma tells us about the strict repressive fundamentalist religion she grew up in, and the challenges she faced with family members when she decided to leave the religion. She then goes on to tell us about her journey into living spiritually for one year, and her different experimentations and experiences. Some of them were quite an eye opener for me! There was lots of spiritual practices that she discussed that I had never heard of before - so this book was quite a fascinating education for me! She meets with psychics, tarot readers, Reiki practitioners, hypnotherapists, etc. Her experiment with holotrophic breathwork and mushrooms surprised and scared me.
She also joins protests, and makes her political leanings very clear to the reader. This preachy, opinionated part of the book turned me off, because I certainly did not want to hear anything about her political beliefs while I was greatly enjoying her book. This is why I was unable to give her story five stars.
There were some very sad parts to the book and the author's bullheadedness and stubbornness towards family members certainly stood out. She also came across as being a little self absorbed nearing the end of the book. This book kept me entertained for hours and I certainly became a little more educated about this topic!
She also joins protests, and makes her political leanings very clear to the reader. This preachy, opinionated part of the book turned me off, because I certainly did not want to hear anything about her political beliefs while I was greatly enjoying her book. This is why I was unable to give her story five stars.
There were some very sad parts to the book and the author's bullheadedness and stubbornness towards family members certainly stood out. She also came across as being a little self absorbed nearing the end of the book. This book kept me entertained for hours and I certainly became a little more educated about this topic!
August 12, 2019
If you’re wondering about relationship with God and faith and all the Big Unknowables in this world, you’ll find this an easy but thought-provoking read--whether you’re sure in your own faith, or searching for answers, or just plain curious. It's a tour of all kinds of spiritual practices--everything from shamanism to meditation to choir singing
(and lots of stuff in between!). Reading this book is like having a conversation with a close friend—the brave one who’ll try anything once.
Bokma also lets us into her own life, growing up in a strict religious family, then breaking away to find her own path and learning about herself and her family along the way. But it’s not just ‘all about her’—she broadens the conversation by bringing in the latest research about the practices she investigates. This book has ‘heft’--you might even find yourself reconsidering preconceived notions (tree hugging? really?? well, maybe). Bokma is thoughtful in her search yet irreverent, curious yet never cynical. I found myself noting down quotes or information to follow up on in my own quest for answers: always a good sign of a book as far as I’m concerned.
(and lots of stuff in between!). Reading this book is like having a conversation with a close friend—the brave one who’ll try anything once.
Bokma also lets us into her own life, growing up in a strict religious family, then breaking away to find her own path and learning about herself and her family along the way. But it’s not just ‘all about her’—she broadens the conversation by bringing in the latest research about the practices she investigates. This book has ‘heft’--you might even find yourself reconsidering preconceived notions (tree hugging? really?? well, maybe). Bokma is thoughtful in her search yet irreverent, curious yet never cynical. I found myself noting down quotes or information to follow up on in my own quest for answers: always a good sign of a book as far as I’m concerned.
August 13, 2019
I have long thought of myself as spiritual but not religious. But I never had the motivation – or more honestly – the courage to delve deeply into what that meant. The author of My Year of Living Spiritually (Anne Bokma) does all the heavy lifting. Over the course of the year, she explores a wide range of spiritual practices from goat yoga (sign me up!) to magic mushrooms, from meditation to activism. With her keen insights, she leads us through the spiritual wilderness that is modern life to a sense of wonder and connection – with each other, the world and the otherworldly. My overwhelming feeling when I finished this book was gratitude. Thank you, Anne, for sharing your journey.
July 20, 2020
Some intriguing/inspiring ideas here......a bit of fun and thoughtfully written by a local journalist. It was cool to read about some cool local people and offerings around Hamilton, Ontario. Not sure I want to try magic mushrooms but it was interesting to read about the author’s experience! I never knew anything about the Unitarian Church before......huh!! Going to check out ‘Come All Ye’ For future travels to Port Rexton, Newfoundland! To my Book Club: Let’s do a Death Dinner one day!!
June 29, 2021
I enjoy ‘project’ books where the author takes a year to delve deeply into a big life changing issue. And they don’t come much more life changing than leaving the fundamentalist church you were raised in, suffering disconnection and disapproval from the people you love, and having the courage to try on a dozen or so spiritual practices to see what works. Bokma, a journalist, writes candidly of her experiences and what she has learned. She gives suggestions of where to find more information. She’s someone I’d love to meet; her engaging tone and the immediacy of her writing makes reading her work seem like reading the words of a friend you haven’t met yet.
February 4, 2020
Didn't love it.
Some interesting concepts.
Some interesting concepts.
November 23, 2020
4.5. I enjoyed this one. Very interesting story on multiple levels: author's rel'n with her family as well as her spiritual quest. Enjoyed the local component as I live in the same city as the author.
August 7, 2019
I loved this book. The author took me on a thought provoking journey of her life which made me reflect on my own. I found myself writing down quotes which is always a sign for me of when a book has a big impact. I enjoyed the balance between the personal story of her experiences and also how well researched it is. How do we all make sense of what happens to us in our lives? How can we be continually growing and learning? How do we take care of ourselves? These are all such important questions and I so enjoyed hearing this author's journey of asking/answering them of herself and her research of how others have answered before her. thank you!
April 19, 2020
Anne Bokma has written an accessible and eminently readable memoir of her midlife, organized around a year where she tried something new in the "spiritual but not religious" realm. A journalist by trade, Bokma's work has the feel of a dozen feature articles, held together by her backstory: having left the strict Christian denomination in which she was raised, which estranged her from her family. During her experimental year, she kicks the tires on yoga (not so much), solitude (thumbs up), singing (two thumbs up), and spiritualism (meh), to name a few. Her journey is one that many middle-class women of North America can relate to (Bokma is Canadian). Sometimes touching, sometimes funny, this yearlong tour of spiritual exploration should appeal to many a seeker.
April 28, 2023
I liked the premise of this book and I enjoyed the author's writing, she is very funny as well. However, I wanted more from this book. Anne Bokma "samples" a bunch of alternative spiritual practices, which is the whole point of the book, but I felt she could have gone a bit deeper into the particulars of each. Overall, this was a pleasant read and would read more from her in the future.
December 7, 2023
Reading this book felt bizarre. Anne and I grew up close to 25 years apart, and yet this fundamentalist culture is so stagnant there were stunning moments of perfect commonality. One example is the conversation Anne has with her pastor about the state of her faith. She lays out reasonable questions and doubts only to be met with, "You need to have faith like a child."
Anne chronicles the silencing of women in the church in a way I found cathartic. It's easy to doubt yourself outside of the space. "Did I remember it accurately, or am I truly what they say, bitter and depraved, given over to hate and spite for the holy?" Every time my own experience lines up with another's I feel less insane.
I especially appreciate the vulnerability with which Anne dives into her relationship with her mother and absent father. She manages to lay most of the blame squarely at the feet of the theology, and yet is able to compassionately hold her mom to account for hurtful actions while admitting to her own hurtful actions. This is a big deal in fundamentalist spaces, because they cultivate emotional immaturity and an inability to cope with nuance.
I'm so thankful to have found this book in my local library. This is story I needed to hear.
"If I were to reinvent religion, I would make it about story-telling." Tracey Erin Smith.
Anne chronicles the silencing of women in the church in a way I found cathartic. It's easy to doubt yourself outside of the space. "Did I remember it accurately, or am I truly what they say, bitter and depraved, given over to hate and spite for the holy?" Every time my own experience lines up with another's I feel less insane.
I especially appreciate the vulnerability with which Anne dives into her relationship with her mother and absent father. She manages to lay most of the blame squarely at the feet of the theology, and yet is able to compassionately hold her mom to account for hurtful actions while admitting to her own hurtful actions. This is a big deal in fundamentalist spaces, because they cultivate emotional immaturity and an inability to cope with nuance.
I'm so thankful to have found this book in my local library. This is story I needed to hear.
"If I were to reinvent religion, I would make it about story-telling." Tracey Erin Smith.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 26, 2025
By some mysterious interweb path, this book title came to me and I immediately requested it from my local library. From the cover, to the first words, I was hooked.
The author's family history is diametrically opposed to mine. I was raised in a non-religious household that had me equating religion with spirituality. Throughout my life though, especially in times of difficulty but also in times of expansion, I have been a curious seeker. Only recently, have I started to think of these as part of a spiritual journey.
Because I live near to the author's home base of Hamilton, Ontario, so many of the references rang familiar and made for an even more synchronous read. I truly appreciated how the author's writing captured my internal stance of curiosity and why not?-ness, and how her giving so freely of her story let me see and admire those elements of myself reflected back. And from her experiences, I generated a list of new and/or reinforced options for myself.
Recommended to lovers of memoir, essay and self-experimentation works (like AJ Jacobs, Gretchen Rubin) also to middle aged women who are exploring their internal worlds and asking: Is this it? What else is there? What now? Who am I now? Who do I want to be?
The author's family history is diametrically opposed to mine. I was raised in a non-religious household that had me equating religion with spirituality. Throughout my life though, especially in times of difficulty but also in times of expansion, I have been a curious seeker. Only recently, have I started to think of these as part of a spiritual journey.
Because I live near to the author's home base of Hamilton, Ontario, so many of the references rang familiar and made for an even more synchronous read. I truly appreciated how the author's writing captured my internal stance of curiosity and why not?-ness, and how her giving so freely of her story let me see and admire those elements of myself reflected back. And from her experiences, I generated a list of new and/or reinforced options for myself.
Recommended to lovers of memoir, essay and self-experimentation works (like AJ Jacobs, Gretchen Rubin) also to middle aged women who are exploring their internal worlds and asking: Is this it? What else is there? What now? Who am I now? Who do I want to be?
November 26, 2019
At various times in our lives, many of us become searchers, struggling with life's big questions. Our quest for answers can take us to strange and at times in unpredictable directions.
My Year of Living Spiritually gives us insight into one woman's journey and it is one that will resonate with many. At times lighthearted and at others intensely raw and personal, Anne Bokma shares with her readers a years worth of experiences and self-discovery and does so in a manner that is both insightful as well as very real and honest.
With a willingness to be open to experiencing new things, Anne travels down a varied and winding road meeting fascinating people and learning more about herself in the process. From developing a sense of gratitude to singing for the dying and cavorting with witches, each experience adds a layer of understanding and touches Anne's life in various ways.
This book will be interest to anyone looking to better understand life, their purpose and those that question their own significance and role. I highly recommend it.
My Year of Living Spiritually gives us insight into one woman's journey and it is one that will resonate with many. At times lighthearted and at others intensely raw and personal, Anne Bokma shares with her readers a years worth of experiences and self-discovery and does so in a manner that is both insightful as well as very real and honest.
With a willingness to be open to experiencing new things, Anne travels down a varied and winding road meeting fascinating people and learning more about herself in the process. From developing a sense of gratitude to singing for the dying and cavorting with witches, each experience adds a layer of understanding and touches Anne's life in various ways.
This book will be interest to anyone looking to better understand life, their purpose and those that question their own significance and role. I highly recommend it.
July 18, 2020
I feel like I have read this book at least twice now, and maybe I have, as I keep returning to various chapters for various reasons. I do know the author Anne Bokma, at least to say hello to, and more importantly she lives in the same town as I do, and in this book it becomes clear what a wealth of weird and wonderful practitioners of various forms of spiritual-but-not-religious practices we have in Hamilton and vicinity. Anne has made her own community-building contributions with the Six Minute Memoir series she initiated, and she was happy to come to our book club meeting (over zoom) and I look forward to reading whatever she writes next. This book chronicles a life-changing year in Anne's life, and it can be read to be both about Anne's personal story, as well as a survey of various practices including reiki, magic mushrooms, the magic of tidying up (Marie Kondo), giving up alcohol for Lent, and so much more.
July 21, 2025
If you enjoyed The Happiness Project, you might also enjoy this book. It's similar, in that it's a first person account by a woman who decided to make her life better over the course of a year, focusing on one aspect each month. In this case, the author wants to inject more spirituality (as opposed to religion) into her life, having left the church she was raised in at age 21.
I suspect that a very religious person might be offended by some of the content, though I can't imagine the book would appeal to them in the first place. Others might be shocked at some of the things she tried in her quest for spirituality. I found it all quite fascinating, though I don't know how many of them I'd be open to myself.
All in all, I enjoyed reading about Bokma's experiences, and learned a lot about different beliefs and practices.
I suspect that a very religious person might be offended by some of the content, though I can't imagine the book would appeal to them in the first place. Others might be shocked at some of the things she tried in her quest for spirituality. I found it all quite fascinating, though I don't know how many of them I'd be open to myself.
All in all, I enjoyed reading about Bokma's experiences, and learned a lot about different beliefs and practices.
April 13, 2020
I really enjoyed this book and read it over a period of 3 days! It both entertained as well as provided a front row seat into Anne Bokma's quest for meaning and spiritual enlightenment. She takes us through her personal journey of exploration--experiencing a variety of "unconventional" spiritual practices throughout the course of a year, trying each one on to see what best fits for her. As she describes what was required of her in order to break free from the oppressive religion she was born and raised in, and the heart-breaking loss that came with that choice, the reader can clearly grasp how breaking free from the tribe is never something to be taken lightly. I highly recommend this read.
November 12, 2019
I initially learned of this book when CBC radio did an interview with the author. My Year of Living Spiritually is an enjoyable and well-written quick read about Anne’s spiritual journey over a one year period. There are some humorous moments intertwined with background on many practices I’ve heard of but didn’t appreciate what they were. I especially loved Anne’s honesty that not everything she tried was for her. I am rather intrigued now to try a float session and a forest walk to hug a tree. I’ll be sharing this book as a Christmas gift to my tribe of girlfriends with the hope that we can create a spiritual bucket list for the coming year.
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January 22, 2020This Book is life-changing - in that it makes you pause - and think about your own life from more than a few different angles.
Anne's book has been important to me - both because I found comfort and solace in her struggles leaving a fundamentalist religion, but also because it is filled with the kind of WIDE OPEN wonderment that makes daily life feel a little more purposeful, a little more oriented toward the good, and beautiful.
If you're feeling stuck or uncertain, stagnant, or simply disconnected from a sense of exploration and autonomy over your own damn existence, then I highly recommend reading My Year of Living Spiritually. It will wake you up, gently, and with good humour.
Anne's book has been important to me - both because I found comfort and solace in her struggles leaving a fundamentalist religion, but also because it is filled with the kind of WIDE OPEN wonderment that makes daily life feel a little more purposeful, a little more oriented toward the good, and beautiful.
If you're feeling stuck or uncertain, stagnant, or simply disconnected from a sense of exploration and autonomy over your own damn existence, then I highly recommend reading My Year of Living Spiritually. It will wake you up, gently, and with good humour.
July 29, 2020
Huh. I don't really think of myself as SBNR (Spiritual But Not Religious). Apparently upwards of 30% of Canadians place themselves in this category, as people searching for spiritual meaning but not connected to organized religion. (A National Post article from 2012 says "two-thirds of Canadians are spiritual while just half say they are religious. And a quarter of those who profess “no religion” still expressly believe in God." I guess I fit the category.
As someone who meditates daily and tries to practice the golden rule, there was much here I could relate to. Singing. Forest bathing. Silent retreats. Seeking community. Planning your funeral in advance.
Very interesting read.
As someone who meditates daily and tries to practice the golden rule, there was much here I could relate to. Singing. Forest bathing. Silent retreats. Seeking community. Planning your funeral in advance.
Very interesting read.
August 16, 2019
You may read this on a cozy couch but Anne's gift is to take us away on her many unique experiences as we soak up her perspectives and the ensuing effects these spiritual undertakings had on her; the wonderful, the weird and the unexpected. I love that she allows us to witness how her key relationships stretch and alter as these many months unfold. Her vulnerabilities are endearing and her wisdom and self-reflection perhaps encourages us to embrace our own imperfections more lovingly, as they can also be our gifts.
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September 30, 2019I enjoyed reading Anne's account of her evolution over the course of the year. Her commitment to self-discovery, self-reflection and honest self-accounting was inspiring. She provided enough factual information for me to feel that I learned something about the wondrous world of spirituality, tempered with the personal reflections that allowed me to learn about her, and also about myself. I highly recommend the book!
January 19, 2020
A friend gave me a copy of this book while she was visiting and we were attending our 40th high school reunion. I found it to be an astonishingly good read, at times funny, soulful, mesmerizing, sad, empowering, and enlightening. Sometimes I squirmed with discomfort as she hit very close to home, which truthfully is why it such an intense impact. Would highly recommend to all women in the 40-60 age group!!
February 6, 2020
Anne Bokma's writing style is very engaging and for that reason I could easily rate this book higher than I did. Many people are exploring various spiritual practices and many authors are publishing "My Year of...." types of stories, so this one fits in with current culture. Bokma's journey entails exploring two practices per month. I appreciate how articulate she is, how she's clearly done her research, and how she endeavours to use "legitimate" and safe practitioners.
November 16, 2022
Anne Bokma tries different spiritual practices during a year. Most of the book is about describing her memories and experiences in live related to her parents who were strictly religious and the process of becoming independant. It is a bit disappointing that her heart does not seem to be in this journey; it is not very clear why she is trying specific practices or what she hopes to achieve with it. She does not describe the path and the search she is doing for herself.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews