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Beside Herself
With her signature wit and charm, bestselling author Elizabeth LaBan shows how marriage doesn’t necessarily follow a straight line and unexpected detours might just bring you back to the place you most want to be.
When she finds out her husband cheated, Hannah Bent thinks her marriage is over. Isn’t that what happens after an affair? But she’s seen friends divorce, and it’s not pretty. Plus, she and Joel have kids and an otherwise-happy life, and she still loves him, although begrudgingly.
Furious and feeling stuck, she suggests having her own affair to even the score. Joel, desperate for forgiveness, agrees. But does she really want to go through with it? And how exactly does a married mother of two get back in the dating pool? Many awkward dates follow until she finds a deep and unexpected connection where she was least looking for it.
Just as she thinks she’s made a decision, her journey to happiness is waylaid by storms of doubt. But the important thing is that she’s finally figuring out what she truly wants for herself, and she understands that whatever choice she makes must be hers and hers alone.
When she finds out her husband cheated, Hannah Bent thinks her marriage is over. Isn’t that what happens after an affair? But she’s seen friends divorce, and it’s not pretty. Plus, she and Joel have kids and an otherwise-happy life, and she still loves him, although begrudgingly.
Furious and feeling stuck, she suggests having her own affair to even the score. Joel, desperate for forgiveness, agrees. But does she really want to go through with it? And how exactly does a married mother of two get back in the dating pool? Many awkward dates follow until she finds a deep and unexpected connection where she was least looking for it.
Just as she thinks she’s made a decision, her journey to happiness is waylaid by storms of doubt. But the important thing is that she’s finally figuring out what she truly wants for herself, and she understands that whatever choice she makes must be hers and hers alone.
273 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 22, 2019
1014 people are currently reading
2423 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews
October 29, 2019
When Hannah finds out her husband has cheated, she thinks it’s time to move on because that’s what everyone else does. It turns out that’s not her plan. She loves her husband, and other than the cheating, their family life was happy before.
Then, Hannah becomes angry. She decides she should cheat, too, to even the score, and her husband, Joel, agrees because he wants her to be happy.
Hannah is not exactly excited about dating again, and it’s not off to an easy start…until she finds someone she connects with.
Now she doesn’t know which path to choose, but she knows the choice is hers.
Hannah’s story definitely intrigued me. It was interesting to have a different take on a cheating spouse and to watch Hannah grow as a character. She was fallible and vulnerable at times, which I appreciated.
Overall, I found Beside Herself to be a poignant take on a character finding her voice and inner strength with some relatable foibles along the way.
I received a complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com
Then, Hannah becomes angry. She decides she should cheat, too, to even the score, and her husband, Joel, agrees because he wants her to be happy.
Hannah is not exactly excited about dating again, and it’s not off to an easy start…until she finds someone she connects with.
Now she doesn’t know which path to choose, but she knows the choice is hers.
Hannah’s story definitely intrigued me. It was interesting to have a different take on a cheating spouse and to watch Hannah grow as a character. She was fallible and vulnerable at times, which I appreciated.
Overall, I found Beside Herself to be a poignant take on a character finding her voice and inner strength with some relatable foibles along the way.
I received a complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com
October 30, 2019
3.5 ☕️☕️☕️☕️ Rounded up!
Every so often, I like to pick up “issue driven” fiction-a story where two sides of an issue are presented, allowing you to consider another’s point of view, regarding a certain issue or decision that must be made.
This sounded like THAT kind of book.
Hannah finds that her husband Joel has cheated, and she must decide whether to stay or go.
He wants to stay married, and will agree to just about anything to get Hannah to stay...including agreeing that she could have an affair to even the score.
But do two wrongs ever make a right?
Will entering the dating world convince her that she still loves her husband and the home they have built with their two young children?
Or will it show her that you can survive and thrive in a new life?
I expected this book to have more substance.
Because despite the dilemma that Hannah faces, its more of a light, entertaining read!
Not what I anticipated but a touching, engaging story that grew on me, as it progressed, full of flawed characters and decisions!
In fact my favorite parts of the book involved Hannah’s relationship with her father in law, Richard (a scene stealing supporting actor if this were a movie!) who resides in an assisted care living facility and the entire family’s love for the Philadelphia Eagles!
Oh, and as soon as I submit my review..I am looking up Joffrey’s coffee and having some delivered!
This was a buddy read with DeAnn! Thanks for the great discussion ! Look forward to another buddy read soon!
☕️ Thank You to Netgalley, Lake Union Publishing and Elizabeth LaBan for the digital ARC I received in exchange for a candid review! This title is available now!
Every so often, I like to pick up “issue driven” fiction-a story where two sides of an issue are presented, allowing you to consider another’s point of view, regarding a certain issue or decision that must be made.
This sounded like THAT kind of book.
Hannah finds that her husband Joel has cheated, and she must decide whether to stay or go.
He wants to stay married, and will agree to just about anything to get Hannah to stay...including agreeing that she could have an affair to even the score.
But do two wrongs ever make a right?
Will entering the dating world convince her that she still loves her husband and the home they have built with their two young children?
Or will it show her that you can survive and thrive in a new life?
I expected this book to have more substance.
Because despite the dilemma that Hannah faces, its more of a light, entertaining read!
Not what I anticipated but a touching, engaging story that grew on me, as it progressed, full of flawed characters and decisions!
In fact my favorite parts of the book involved Hannah’s relationship with her father in law, Richard (a scene stealing supporting actor if this were a movie!) who resides in an assisted care living facility and the entire family’s love for the Philadelphia Eagles!
Oh, and as soon as I submit my review..I am looking up Joffrey’s coffee and having some delivered!
This was a buddy read with DeAnn! Thanks for the great discussion ! Look forward to another buddy read soon!
☕️ Thank You to Netgalley, Lake Union Publishing and Elizabeth LaBan for the digital ARC I received in exchange for a candid review! This title is available now!
November 10, 2019
3.5 infidelity stars
This one has a premise that is all too familiar – one spouse has cheated but has remorse and doesn’t want to end the marriage. Just out of curiosity about infidelity and divorce, I looked this up and according to the American Psychological Association, infidelity in the US accounted for about 20-40% of divorces. I thought this author did a good job of exploring this issue. While deeply personal, infidelity definitely takes a toll on a marriage, and it would take a lot of work to overcome for me. I think it is always more complex when children are involved.
In Elizabeth LaBan’s book, we have Hannah and Joel as our married couple. In Hannah’s case, she discovers the infidelity and is faced with the decision to stay in her marriage or pursue a divorce. They have two children and have built a life together. However, the infidelity causes Hannah to question everything. She runs the gamut of emotions from betrayal to anger and back again.
In a very realistic twist, Hannah explores having her own affair to get “even” – isn’t this human nature? When we are wronged, we want to hurt the other person thinking that will make us feel better. It was interesting to follow Hannah on this journey and to think about what I would do. There were some interesting dates and I wondered which path Hannah would ultimately choose.
Hannah’s husband Will does everything in his power to woo Hannah back and wants to rebuild their life together. He doesn’t leave or give up on his marriage with Hannah though and that definitely makes a difference.
A unique part of this book was Hannah’s relationship with her father-in-law. Hannah has been the primary one to visit Richard at his assisted-living facility and the friction with her husband has put a strain on that relationship too. Sometimes I think authors forget that there is a ripple effect through entire families in situations like this. It was nice to see this explored and I really liked this relationship.
I wish this one would have been a bit meatier, I wasn’t super invested in the characters. I did like the way it ended.
This was a buddy read with Jayme and we had some great discussion over this one. Relationships are such a rich source of book material! Can’t wait to see what we pick next.
This one has a premise that is all too familiar – one spouse has cheated but has remorse and doesn’t want to end the marriage. Just out of curiosity about infidelity and divorce, I looked this up and according to the American Psychological Association, infidelity in the US accounted for about 20-40% of divorces. I thought this author did a good job of exploring this issue. While deeply personal, infidelity definitely takes a toll on a marriage, and it would take a lot of work to overcome for me. I think it is always more complex when children are involved.
In Elizabeth LaBan’s book, we have Hannah and Joel as our married couple. In Hannah’s case, she discovers the infidelity and is faced with the decision to stay in her marriage or pursue a divorce. They have two children and have built a life together. However, the infidelity causes Hannah to question everything. She runs the gamut of emotions from betrayal to anger and back again.
In a very realistic twist, Hannah explores having her own affair to get “even” – isn’t this human nature? When we are wronged, we want to hurt the other person thinking that will make us feel better. It was interesting to follow Hannah on this journey and to think about what I would do. There were some interesting dates and I wondered which path Hannah would ultimately choose.
Hannah’s husband Will does everything in his power to woo Hannah back and wants to rebuild their life together. He doesn’t leave or give up on his marriage with Hannah though and that definitely makes a difference.
A unique part of this book was Hannah’s relationship with her father-in-law. Hannah has been the primary one to visit Richard at his assisted-living facility and the friction with her husband has put a strain on that relationship too. Sometimes I think authors forget that there is a ripple effect through entire families in situations like this. It was nice to see this explored and I really liked this relationship.
I wish this one would have been a bit meatier, I wasn’t super invested in the characters. I did like the way it ended.
This was a buddy read with Jayme and we had some great discussion over this one. Relationships are such a rich source of book material! Can’t wait to see what we pick next.
September 6, 2021
Reread 9/5/2021: this book was discussed in a FB group the other day, and enough readers chimed in with “I liked it” that I was left thinking “huh, what did I miss?”
Still not impressed.
Weak husband cheats because he can, she finds out after his affair is over, which wasn’t really a full blown affair (a drunken ONS with someone he’d been flirting with through work on business trips and another guilt ridden incident with the same OW). To be honest, his own guilt was enough to keep it from happening again.
She finds out and is justifiably devastated. The day after she finds out he has them in marriage counseling. Which is probably too soon as she hasn’t even had time to cycle through any emotions. But he’s desperate to save their marriage.
My problem…
He’s a 2 dimensional character, probably likable before the affair, but just comes off as weak. The story is never told from his POV and all we know are he wants to save the marriage and he has a very weak stomach.
She’s not that sympathetic. I get she’s angry, hurt, heartbroken, but when she announces she’s going to have an affair so he can feel how bad she’s feeling, it leaves her even less likable. She spends months dating other men, she doesn’t sleep with any of them. But, does come close with her FIL’s caregiver. Honestly, if they didn’t have children this may have worked, could have been funny, if we’d actually seen more than a couple of the dates, but one of the kids has real anxiety issues and needs constant reassurance that she’s available to speak to him by phone, literally every 10 minutes. And, they’re not getting this kid help.
They’re both wrapped up in themselves. Though he gives up traveling for work and is home for the kids at night while she searching for another man. Through all this time he has no idea she’s not sleeping with anyone, he simply waits it out… is this a redemptive arc? Maybe??
Meh—still 2 stars
Edited to add: another reviewer describes it as victim becomes the villain. Exactly! And, who wants that in a cheating husband book??
2/28/2020: Not impressed. I was hoping to like this more. The vomiting hero is off putting and the heroine isn’t all that sympathetic.
Still not impressed.
Weak husband cheats because he can, she finds out after his affair is over, which wasn’t really a full blown affair (a drunken ONS with someone he’d been flirting with through work on business trips and another guilt ridden incident with the same OW). To be honest, his own guilt was enough to keep it from happening again.
She finds out and is justifiably devastated. The day after she finds out he has them in marriage counseling. Which is probably too soon as she hasn’t even had time to cycle through any emotions. But he’s desperate to save their marriage.
My problem…
He’s a 2 dimensional character, probably likable before the affair, but just comes off as weak. The story is never told from his POV and all we know are he wants to save the marriage and he has a very weak stomach.
She’s not that sympathetic. I get she’s angry, hurt, heartbroken, but when she announces she’s going to have an affair so he can feel how bad she’s feeling, it leaves her even less likable. She spends months dating other men, she doesn’t sleep with any of them. But, does come close with her FIL’s caregiver. Honestly, if they didn’t have children this may have worked, could have been funny, if we’d actually seen more than a couple of the dates, but one of the kids has real anxiety issues and needs constant reassurance that she’s available to speak to him by phone, literally every 10 minutes. And, they’re not getting this kid help.
They’re both wrapped up in themselves. Though he gives up traveling for work and is home for the kids at night while she searching for another man. Through all this time he has no idea she’s not sleeping with anyone, he simply waits it out… is this a redemptive arc? Maybe??
Meh—still 2 stars
Edited to add: another reviewer describes it as victim becomes the villain. Exactly! And, who wants that in a cheating husband book??
2/28/2020: Not impressed. I was hoping to like this more. The vomiting hero is off putting and the heroine isn’t all that sympathetic.
October 29, 2019
3.5 ☕️☕️☕️☕️ Rounded up!
Every so often, I like to pick up “issue driven” fiction-a story where two sides of an issue are presented, allowing you to consider another’s point of view, regarding a certain issue or decision that must be made.
This sounded like THAT kind of book.
Hannah finds that her husband Joel has cheated, and she must decide whether to stay or go.
He wants to stay married, and will agree to just about anything to get Hannah to stay...including letting her have an affair to even the score.
But do two wrongs ever make a right?
Will entering the dating world convince her that she still loves her husband and the home they have built with their two young children?
Or will it show her that you can survive and thrive in a new life?
I expected this book to have more substance.
But despite the dilemma that Hannah faces, its more of a light, entertaining read; Not what I anticipated but a touching, engaging story that grew on me, as it progressed, full of flawed characters and decisions!
In fact my favorite parts of the book involved Hannah’s relationship with her father in law, Richard (a scene stealing supporting actor if this were a movie!) who resides in an assisted care living facility and the entire family’s love for the Philadelphia Eagles!
Oh, and as soon as I submit my review..I am looking up Joffrey’s coffee and having some delivered!
☕️ Thank You to Netgalley, Lake Union Publishing and Elizabeth LaBan for the digital ARC I received in exchange for a candid review! This title is available now!
Every so often, I like to pick up “issue driven” fiction-a story where two sides of an issue are presented, allowing you to consider another’s point of view, regarding a certain issue or decision that must be made.
This sounded like THAT kind of book.
Hannah finds that her husband Joel has cheated, and she must decide whether to stay or go.
He wants to stay married, and will agree to just about anything to get Hannah to stay...including letting her have an affair to even the score.
But do two wrongs ever make a right?
Will entering the dating world convince her that she still loves her husband and the home they have built with their two young children?
Or will it show her that you can survive and thrive in a new life?
I expected this book to have more substance.
But despite the dilemma that Hannah faces, its more of a light, entertaining read; Not what I anticipated but a touching, engaging story that grew on me, as it progressed, full of flawed characters and decisions!
In fact my favorite parts of the book involved Hannah’s relationship with her father in law, Richard (a scene stealing supporting actor if this were a movie!) who resides in an assisted care living facility and the entire family’s love for the Philadelphia Eagles!
Oh, and as soon as I submit my review..I am looking up Joffrey’s coffee and having some delivered!
☕️ Thank You to Netgalley, Lake Union Publishing and Elizabeth LaBan for the digital ARC I received in exchange for a candid review! This title is available now!
September 23, 2024
2.5*
DNF на 50%, бо в цій книзі занадто багато нецікавих деталей і якийсь дуже відсторонений, беземоційний стиль оповіді.
DNF на 50%, бо в цій книзі занадто багато нецікавих деталей і якийсь дуже відсторонений, беземоційний стиль оповіді.
Read
October 24, 2021DNF
Not only did she have a cheating husband, she had an invalid husband, which she had absolutely no patience for.
But really what had she been doing when Joel had been with Tara, rolling around on rose petals? She had been here, taking showers and making beds and sitting on the orange couch and dealing with the kids—one after the other.
“Just let me finish,” Joel said. “Please. So we went to my room, and we had sex. I won’t emphasize how drunk I was, because I don’t want it to sound like an excuse, but please know I was. And when I woke up the next morning, she was there, and I was sick. I don’t know what it was, a virus, maybe, or something I ate. I felt awful.
She came to my room, the rose petals were there, I, we . . . there was another time. And then I told her that it just wasn’t for me. It just . . .”
He got drunk with Tara and slept with her, twice.
September 25, 2019
Last year, I enjoyed the perfection of Not Perfect. So when I saw Elizabeth LaBan's latest novel and the attractive cover, I knew I'd be in for a treat.
I really enjoyed this story overall. Elizabeth took a cliché topic, but spun it in a different direction. It was interesting to see family dynamics and marital relationships in the aftermath of an affair. I had fun getting to know Hannah and seeing her interact with the other characters. The story felt realistic, thanks to dialogue and descriptions; I could see it playing out in front of me. This novel was easy to pick up and it kept me engaged the entire time.
My only concern is that she has a character eating in non-kosher restaurant while wearing a yarmulke (Wikipedia: a skullcap worn in public by Orthodox Jewish men or during prayer by other Jewish men). My experience is that a yarmulke should not be worn in such a setting, as it gives off the wrong impression to others, by implying the restaurant would be okay for people who keep Kosher. This is minor in the grand scheme of things, but it nagged at me while I was reading it. (I read an ARC and I'm hoping this was caught and corrected for the published version.)
Overall, this is another great novel by Elizabeth LaBan and I look forward to reading what she comes up with next. (I still need to read some of her previous novels, as well.)
Movie casting suggestions:
Hannah: Andrea Savage
Joel: James Marsden
Richard: Martin Sheen
Reuben: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Lance: Brandon Routh
Kim: Kristen Wiig
I really enjoyed this story overall. Elizabeth took a cliché topic, but spun it in a different direction. It was interesting to see family dynamics and marital relationships in the aftermath of an affair. I had fun getting to know Hannah and seeing her interact with the other characters. The story felt realistic, thanks to dialogue and descriptions; I could see it playing out in front of me. This novel was easy to pick up and it kept me engaged the entire time.
My only concern is that she has a character eating in non-kosher restaurant while wearing a yarmulke (Wikipedia: a skullcap worn in public by Orthodox Jewish men or during prayer by other Jewish men). My experience is that a yarmulke should not be worn in such a setting, as it gives off the wrong impression to others, by implying the restaurant would be okay for people who keep Kosher. This is minor in the grand scheme of things, but it nagged at me while I was reading it. (I read an ARC and I'm hoping this was caught and corrected for the published version.)
Overall, this is another great novel by Elizabeth LaBan and I look forward to reading what she comes up with next. (I still need to read some of her previous novels, as well.)
Movie casting suggestions:
Hannah: Andrea Savage
Joel: James Marsden
Richard: Martin Sheen
Reuben: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Lance: Brandon Routh
Kim: Kristen Wiig
October 27, 2019
Really enjoyed this book! I have been married 47 yrs, I count myself lucky and blessed.
The book was about a marriage that was almost lost... Liked the writting and emotion!
The book was about a marriage that was almost lost... Liked the writting and emotion!
December 31, 2019
This one was fine, I guess, but the subject just didn’t appeal to me, and Hannah just got on my nerves. I am not sure how this one got on my radar, but I probably won’t be rushing to get this author’s releases.
April 22, 2023
I originally downloaded this, not realizing I had already read it😅 I ended up doing a skim/re-read, and now I know why I forgot about it.
I didn't like anyone in this book. The husband was very whiny and pathetic, always puking whenever the h brought up the affair. I have to say, though, that by the end I felt for him. To quote my grandma, the h needed to either sh*t or get off the pot. This limbo revenge but not really revenge cheating just made the h look bad. I would have liked/respected her more if she just made him move out.
I didn't like that they never really talked about the cheating. Sure, there was one scene where the H tells the h how it all went down, but anytime after that, when it was brought up, it was all about the hero and how he was sorry. Which in theory sounds good but was poorly executed here. Ex: he turns pale, he throws up, he cries they don't actually dive deep into anything.
The hero says his mom had two affairs and that his dad stayed and forgave her, so he figured the h would either not find out or just forgive him because he didn't love the OW. Honestly, after the H's dad told the story to the h, I felt that he ( H's dad) was a pushover, and his wife was a serial cheater. This was never really addressed either, how that painted marriaged and affairs in a different light to the H. All in all, this one just wasn't for me.
2 I didn't like anybody stars
I didn't like anyone in this book. The husband was very whiny and pathetic, always puking whenever the h brought up the affair. I have to say, though, that by the end I felt for him. To quote my grandma, the h needed to either sh*t or get off the pot. This limbo revenge but not really revenge cheating just made the h look bad. I would have liked/respected her more if she just made him move out.
I didn't like that they never really talked about the cheating. Sure, there was one scene where the H tells the h how it all went down, but anytime after that, when it was brought up, it was all about the hero and how he was sorry. Which in theory sounds good but was poorly executed here. Ex: he turns pale, he throws up, he cries they don't actually dive deep into anything.
The hero says his mom had two affairs and that his dad stayed and forgave her, so he figured the h would either not find out or just forgive him because he didn't love the OW. Honestly, after the H's dad told the story to the h, I felt that he ( H's dad) was a pushover, and his wife was a serial cheater. This was never really addressed either, how that painted marriaged and affairs in a different light to the H. All in all, this one just wasn't for me.
2 I didn't like anybody stars
November 28, 2020
3.25+ stars
This was well written. I thought the author did a good job writing the “bi polar” nature of emotions that go through the mind of victim of cheating. Going along fine one second and then triggered by a gesture or word etc that once would have made her smile or happy.
The h discovered text messages on the H’s phone. He admitted that there had been infidelity but it was now over and he felt terrible and loved her and wanted her only.
The h agreed to go to counselling but struggled with the well-meaning suggestions to focus on moving forward with H and that he’s really sorry. She doesn’t know what to do with her anger and feelings of betrayal and wonders whether if she made things equal by also having an affair, it would help her to move on.
The H, desperate to work things out with h, reluctantly agrees.
The story does drag a little but on the other hand, I like that it’s no quick fix and it’s realistic take on the dating world for the h. I also like how constant the H was in his efforts to make amends.
Overall-a solid read if you enjoy an H who knows he’s done wrong and will stop at nothing to try and make amends. There is no easy redemption here.
This was well written. I thought the author did a good job writing the “bi polar” nature of emotions that go through the mind of victim of cheating. Going along fine one second and then triggered by a gesture or word etc that once would have made her smile or happy.
The h discovered text messages on the H’s phone. He admitted that there had been infidelity but it was now over and he felt terrible and loved her and wanted her only.
The h agreed to go to counselling but struggled with the well-meaning suggestions to focus on moving forward with H and that he’s really sorry. She doesn’t know what to do with her anger and feelings of betrayal and wonders whether if she made things equal by also having an affair, it would help her to move on.
The H, desperate to work things out with h, reluctantly agrees.
The story does drag a little but on the other hand, I like that it’s no quick fix and it’s realistic take on the dating world for the h. I also like how constant the H was in his efforts to make amends.
Overall-a solid read if you enjoy an H who knows he’s done wrong and will stop at nothing to try and make amends. There is no easy redemption here.
Read
August 10, 2019This was a different read where I got to know the main character and her reactions post infidelity. Hannah had it all happiness and family. A moment of weakness by the husband brought her world crashing down. This was her story of picking up the pieces of her life post that betrayal.
My first book by author Elizabeth LaBan was a good read in parts. I could understand where the main character was coming from and the indecisiveness which surrounded her. Her betrayal and disbelief were well shown.
It was quite a slow read, and I did take time to warm up to Hannah. I didn't agree with her decisions, but I too have taken wrong decisions in my hurt, so I couldn't judge her.
Overall this was a good read. I felt it could have been better if the main character was a bit stronger.
My first book by author Elizabeth LaBan was a good read in parts. I could understand where the main character was coming from and the indecisiveness which surrounded her. Her betrayal and disbelief were well shown.
It was quite a slow read, and I did take time to warm up to Hannah. I didn't agree with her decisions, but I too have taken wrong decisions in my hurt, so I couldn't judge her.
Overall this was a good read. I felt it could have been better if the main character was a bit stronger.
June 14, 2020
Yep
I could not imagine the shoes the MFC walked in, the emotions that both the H and h carried...the author did a fantastic job of writing about a horrid marital issue.
Thank you
I could not imagine the shoes the MFC walked in, the emotions that both the H and h carried...the author did a fantastic job of writing about a horrid marital issue.
Thank you
April 14, 2022
A unique story about marriage and infidelity. I found it Hannah’s journey very moving and I really enjoyed the author’s writing style.
December 19, 2019
Thank you to the publishing house for providing a review copy of this novel. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Lately, I have been reading a lot of Women's Fiction books that surround infidelity and open marriages.
What can I say?
Sometimes women want to fictionally escape (or at least watch the train wreck when fictional people do it).
Beside Herself , is another exploration of a marriage that has gone off the rails, thanks to infidelity.
Hannah is desperate to find out what her husband has planned for her surprise birthday party.
When she hacks into his phone, the surprise isn't what she expected at all.
She finds numerous texts between her husband and another women, who have been meeting at a hotel together.
When confronted, he shares that he had been cheating, but that he would never do it again.
Now that the secret is out he wants them to put the pieces back together with a marriage counselor.
In retaliation, Hannah decides that she will explore online dating and cheat on Joel, to even the score.
As readers, we get to go on one awful date after another with Hannah.
We also get the opportunity to see what brought Joel & Hannah together in the first place.
Guess what? It is absolutely heartwarming!
LaBan builds a realistic plot with a father in the nursing home, a friendship that can't withstand the situation, and an unlikely support person that helps her through this difficult patch in her life.
Fans of, The Arrangement , will love this escape with Hannah as she searches for love in unlikely places.
Lately, I have been reading a lot of Women's Fiction books that surround infidelity and open marriages.
What can I say?
Sometimes women want to fictionally escape (or at least watch the train wreck when fictional people do it).
Beside Herself , is another exploration of a marriage that has gone off the rails, thanks to infidelity.
Hannah is desperate to find out what her husband has planned for her surprise birthday party.
When she hacks into his phone, the surprise isn't what she expected at all.
She finds numerous texts between her husband and another women, who have been meeting at a hotel together.
When confronted, he shares that he had been cheating, but that he would never do it again.
Now that the secret is out he wants them to put the pieces back together with a marriage counselor.
In retaliation, Hannah decides that she will explore online dating and cheat on Joel, to even the score.
As readers, we get to go on one awful date after another with Hannah.
We also get the opportunity to see what brought Joel & Hannah together in the first place.
Guess what? It is absolutely heartwarming!
LaBan builds a realistic plot with a father in the nursing home, a friendship that can't withstand the situation, and an unlikely support person that helps her through this difficult patch in her life.
Fans of, The Arrangement , will love this escape with Hannah as she searches for love in unlikely places.
September 19, 2025
I like angst amd Im more mature in age so I find marriage in trouble books typically have a fmc 30 plus. These kind of books I find myself gravitating yo ..chick lit with a swirl of romance. Plus a dash of humor. This book cooked up all of that. I enjoyed trading this book.
Hannah thought she had an adoring husband and a great marriage. She peeks at her husbands phone and finds evidence he's has an affair. When confronted he says its done..he only slept with her twice. He only loves Hannah and wants to keep their marriage.
Hannah on the other hand is done..she doesn't want counseling..she doesn't want you hear Joel's begging to forgive him. She wants a separation tk lead to a divorce..she's done.
Eventually she caves to Joel's efforts to work on their marriage with the condition that she has a revenge affair. Joel reluctantly agrees.
Then Hannah has to do something she hasn't had to do in 2o tears..date. She hilariously tries different methods from online dating to flirting with her local baker, going out with a lifeguard to coffee dates with her father in laws caregiver.
She must decide what she wants and if she can move on from her husbands affair.
I like that the cheating was handled in a non cliche way ( she didn't walk in on him) and the steps for marriage reconciliation were well explained.
I was a little confused about the end, I felt like Hannah was still confused by her choice because of circumstances but she made a choice which made sense for her.
Hannah thought she had an adoring husband and a great marriage. She peeks at her husbands phone and finds evidence he's has an affair. When confronted he says its done..he only slept with her twice. He only loves Hannah and wants to keep their marriage.
Hannah on the other hand is done..she doesn't want counseling..she doesn't want you hear Joel's begging to forgive him. She wants a separation tk lead to a divorce..she's done.
Eventually she caves to Joel's efforts to work on their marriage with the condition that she has a revenge affair. Joel reluctantly agrees.
Then Hannah has to do something she hasn't had to do in 2o tears..date. She hilariously tries different methods from online dating to flirting with her local baker, going out with a lifeguard to coffee dates with her father in laws caregiver.
She must decide what she wants and if she can move on from her husbands affair.
I like that the cheating was handled in a non cliche way ( she didn't walk in on him) and the steps for marriage reconciliation were well explained.
I was a little confused about the end, I felt like Hannah was still confused by her choice because of circumstances but she made a choice which made sense for her.
October 23, 2019
This book surprised me in a good way.. The author developed the characters and the plot in a very uncommon way. Somehow, I got very interested about Hannah's reaction to her husband's mistake. And couldn't help but feel some empathy toward her. But then, the author surprised me with a different angle offered by a character I wasn't considering as I should have.. And suddenly, my prior thoughts were not valid anymore.
I loved the story. It got al! my attention. I would love to read more from this author, definitely.
I loved the story. It got al! my attention. I would love to read more from this author, definitely.
November 3, 2019
This book made me irrationally angry. Here's my question. A man makes a terrible decision that inadvertently hurts his wife and family. When she finds out, she proceeds to PRETEND to do bad things for MONTHS in order to deliberately hurt her husband. So who's the bad guy here? Unfortunately, I felt like this book turned the victim into the villain by the end. I ended up feeling terrible for the husband. :(
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 13, 2019
Hannah is a happily married mother of two. Until she discovers her husband cheated on her. He assures her it's over and literally becomes ill every time it comes up, but Hannah is still angry. After witnessing her best friend's slow decline after her divorce, Hannah is caught between wanting a divorce and wanting to stay, but how can she even the score? By having her own affair, of course. Simple in theory, she quickly learns diving back into the dating pool is far from easy, and begins to learn what's really important to her.
To say I was a bit disappointed by this book would be an understatement. From the book description, I was under the impression it would be Hannah's journey of self-discovery after discovering her husband's betrayal, as well as a humorous jaunt through the dating world. I expected something a little funny, a little sassy, and a bit more than eye opening. Unfortunately, it was none of that. Instead, I was stuck wondering why I, a happily married mother of two, would want to read a book about a woman who angrily decides to even the score by having an affair.
Okay, of course I knew she was going to go try to have an affair. But I thought it would be a bit funny and that she would realize divorce is just the easy answer. I thought it would be a journey of self-discovery as her mishaps in the dating world would somehow reveal hidden aspects of herself and her marriage. It was more of a woman walking around angry for most of the book. She felt self-absorbed in her own problems, ignored her kids on more than one occasion despite stating how devoted she was to her family, and, frankly, felt a little self-righteous. Oh, I get it. Her husband cheated on her. Of course she must be allowed months to process and ignore the world and her life's demands! To make matters worse, her husband felt like a child. He would literally get sick every time his affair came up. He lacked any kind of backbone and became little more than a doormat in trying to win Hannah back. By the end, I honestly couldn't figure out why he would want to be married to her, and that perhaps he had a reason for cheating: Hannah was too busy with her own life to even sit down and care about her husband.
I could go on and on about why I didn't like Hannah. But, as a mom myself, I think I'll just stick with the fact that she kept saying she was a devoted mom, and then kept brushing her kids aside until it suited her to deal with them. She spent more time going on bad dates, many of which the reader isn't even privy to, than spending time with her family and trying to heal with her husband. She was so focused on evening the score that her character just completely lost me.
Needless to say, I had high expectations for this story. I'm disappointed it fell flat, but, even so, I think it wasn't a bad story. I wonder how many couples who have dealt with infidelity have wondered what if they had tried to even the score? Would it bring them closer together, or push them into divorce? This book brings up an interesting question, one that I don't think it could answer as every couple and every affair is different. But, for the purposes of this story and this couple, I think it was a good answer. Hannah's husband was willing to do anything necessary to keep her, and she just had a lot of anger to process. I'm disappointed it took most of the book before her anger began to abate, but I'm so glad she had a key moment that brought understanding and a definite direction to her. As unhappy as I was with most of this book, that one scene really brought satisfaction to me, and hope that Hannah's marriage going forward would be a better one. And, finally, the book actually made sense.
Overall, I thought this was a mildly interesting story. The characters were okay and the plot acceptable and mostly believable. I was disappointed by the setting (Philadelphia with a few named areas and streets, but no real sense of place) and felt it could really have been any suburb in the United States. It was nice to be able to think, "Oh, I know that area," but it was hard to feel like I was there. This isn't a bad book. It just wasn't my cup of tea. I thought it would be one way, and it turned out to be another way. Simple as that.
Thank you to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for a free e-copy. All opinions expressed are my own.
To say I was a bit disappointed by this book would be an understatement. From the book description, I was under the impression it would be Hannah's journey of self-discovery after discovering her husband's betrayal, as well as a humorous jaunt through the dating world. I expected something a little funny, a little sassy, and a bit more than eye opening. Unfortunately, it was none of that. Instead, I was stuck wondering why I, a happily married mother of two, would want to read a book about a woman who angrily decides to even the score by having an affair.
Okay, of course I knew she was going to go try to have an affair. But I thought it would be a bit funny and that she would realize divorce is just the easy answer. I thought it would be a journey of self-discovery as her mishaps in the dating world would somehow reveal hidden aspects of herself and her marriage. It was more of a woman walking around angry for most of the book. She felt self-absorbed in her own problems, ignored her kids on more than one occasion despite stating how devoted she was to her family, and, frankly, felt a little self-righteous. Oh, I get it. Her husband cheated on her. Of course she must be allowed months to process and ignore the world and her life's demands! To make matters worse, her husband felt like a child. He would literally get sick every time his affair came up. He lacked any kind of backbone and became little more than a doormat in trying to win Hannah back. By the end, I honestly couldn't figure out why he would want to be married to her, and that perhaps he had a reason for cheating: Hannah was too busy with her own life to even sit down and care about her husband.
I could go on and on about why I didn't like Hannah. But, as a mom myself, I think I'll just stick with the fact that she kept saying she was a devoted mom, and then kept brushing her kids aside until it suited her to deal with them. She spent more time going on bad dates, many of which the reader isn't even privy to, than spending time with her family and trying to heal with her husband. She was so focused on evening the score that her character just completely lost me.
Needless to say, I had high expectations for this story. I'm disappointed it fell flat, but, even so, I think it wasn't a bad story. I wonder how many couples who have dealt with infidelity have wondered what if they had tried to even the score? Would it bring them closer together, or push them into divorce? This book brings up an interesting question, one that I don't think it could answer as every couple and every affair is different. But, for the purposes of this story and this couple, I think it was a good answer. Hannah's husband was willing to do anything necessary to keep her, and she just had a lot of anger to process. I'm disappointed it took most of the book before her anger began to abate, but I'm so glad she had a key moment that brought understanding and a definite direction to her. As unhappy as I was with most of this book, that one scene really brought satisfaction to me, and hope that Hannah's marriage going forward would be a better one. And, finally, the book actually made sense.
Overall, I thought this was a mildly interesting story. The characters were okay and the plot acceptable and mostly believable. I was disappointed by the setting (Philadelphia with a few named areas and streets, but no real sense of place) and felt it could really have been any suburb in the United States. It was nice to be able to think, "Oh, I know that area," but it was hard to feel like I was there. This isn't a bad book. It just wasn't my cup of tea. I thought it would be one way, and it turned out to be another way. Simple as that.
Thank you to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for a free e-copy. All opinions expressed are my own.
October 31, 2019
If your favoured reading material is a compelling tale with a good sprinkling of relationships, anger, infidelity, passion and regret then Beside Herself by Elizabeth LaBan is a must-read for you!
From the get-go I was completely enraptured by this wonderful family drama. Hannah and Joel Bent have a very troubled and turbulent marriage. Joel has been having an affair and Hannah has found out about it, now believing her marriage to be over. Upset and angry, she decides to try to make their marriage work if Joel agrees to allow her to even the score - by committing an act of infidelity herself. Joel goes along with it out of desperation, but can Hannah really go through with her plan?
Both Joel and Hannah were beautifully portrayed by Elizabeth LaBan. Their views about their circumstances, their relationship and their difficulties were really cleverly written, making them very real, flawed and authentic.
I appreciated the way the author delved into the characters' past trepidations, worries and achievements making them multidimensional as their narrative revealed how it was possible to change for the better.
The plot was awesome and poignant as it moved along at a really comfortable pace and I loved the author’s effusive writing-style. There was no room for repetitiveness or boredom here! The story was so moving and there were many moments of reflection, empathy and compassion.
Beside Herself is a cracking story and a book that I revelled in all the way through, bringing no disappointments. Elizabeth LaBan rounded things off so masterfully which I welcomed and I think this author will become one of my firm favourites.
I received a complimentary copy of this novel from Lake Union Publishing via NetGalley at my own request. This review is my own unbiased opinion.
From the get-go I was completely enraptured by this wonderful family drama. Hannah and Joel Bent have a very troubled and turbulent marriage. Joel has been having an affair and Hannah has found out about it, now believing her marriage to be over. Upset and angry, she decides to try to make their marriage work if Joel agrees to allow her to even the score - by committing an act of infidelity herself. Joel goes along with it out of desperation, but can Hannah really go through with her plan?
Both Joel and Hannah were beautifully portrayed by Elizabeth LaBan. Their views about their circumstances, their relationship and their difficulties were really cleverly written, making them very real, flawed and authentic.
I appreciated the way the author delved into the characters' past trepidations, worries and achievements making them multidimensional as their narrative revealed how it was possible to change for the better.
The plot was awesome and poignant as it moved along at a really comfortable pace and I loved the author’s effusive writing-style. There was no room for repetitiveness or boredom here! The story was so moving and there were many moments of reflection, empathy and compassion.
Beside Herself is a cracking story and a book that I revelled in all the way through, bringing no disappointments. Elizabeth LaBan rounded things off so masterfully which I welcomed and I think this author will become one of my firm favourites.
I received a complimentary copy of this novel from Lake Union Publishing via NetGalley at my own request. This review is my own unbiased opinion.
October 27, 2019
Thank you to Kathleen Carter Communications and Amazon Publishing for a free copy of this book for review. I really enjoyed this book and tore through it in a day. This story hooked me from page one. Hannah is happily married to Joel and they have an idyllic and strong marriage or so Hannah and all their friends thought. As Hannah discovers Joel has had an affair she is conflicted whether or not to remain in the marriage. Joel is apologetic and claims it was never his dissatisfaction with Hannah or their marriage that led him to make the biggest mistake of his life. Hannah’s best friend encourages her to stay with Joel which surprises Hannah and causes her to second guess whether she really wants to end her marriage. Hannah is also unsure whether or not she wants to upend her children’s lives but she is furious with Joel for putting everything in jeopardy. Another important and interesting character in the book is Joels’s father who is in an extended care facility. It was so nice to see Hannah’s relationship with him. So, ultimately everything comes down to what Hannah chooses to do with her marriage. I found the character development strong and the secondary characters such an important part of the story. As I said, I was engaged with this book from beginning to end.
September 19, 2019
This book explores the love story of Joel and Hannah , whose marriage has been hit by a tidal wave. Hannah unwittingly discovers Joel has had a short lived affair.
Will she try to ride the waves and save her marriage? Or will she throw in the towel ? Will her plans for a affair of her own help or hindrance a reconciliation?
The decisions forced on partners who discover infidelity is heartbreaking. The book beautifully explores the complexities of making such a life changing decision. You may love your partner but hate the chaos they have brought into your life. Trust had been shattered can it ever return? The views and options of friends and family can also be influential. Whichever path you choose to take each will be a struggle,
I felt so much for Hannah. She was torn between how she felt she should react and her love for Joel. I could almost feel her hurt and disappointment, The devastation of an affair was brilliantly portrayed and how a marriage and partners are changed forever.
Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for my chance to read this enjoyable thought provoking book .
Will she try to ride the waves and save her marriage? Or will she throw in the towel ? Will her plans for a affair of her own help or hindrance a reconciliation?
The decisions forced on partners who discover infidelity is heartbreaking. The book beautifully explores the complexities of making such a life changing decision. You may love your partner but hate the chaos they have brought into your life. Trust had been shattered can it ever return? The views and options of friends and family can also be influential. Whichever path you choose to take each will be a struggle,
I felt so much for Hannah. She was torn between how she felt she should react and her love for Joel. I could almost feel her hurt and disappointment, The devastation of an affair was brilliantly portrayed and how a marriage and partners are changed forever.
Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for my chance to read this enjoyable thought provoking book .
November 25, 2019
I don’t have a ton to say about this book because I feel like it is one of those straightforward, no subtext, it is what it is kind of reads. BESIDE HERSELF had a romcom feel to it, and while a good deal of the action is implausible, it was an entertaining read nonetheless. After Hannah discovers her husband has had an affair, she decides that she is going to have her own affair to level the playing field while also buying herself time to figure out what she wants to do about her marriage. For conservative readers, don’t be alarmed by this premise: even though the plot sounds like it has the potential to be edgy and racy, I’d say this book is along the lines of a PG read (maybe PG-13 in a few scenes) with little cause for blushing. And what I appreciated most about this book despite it being a feel good read is its serious rumination on what a marriage really is. While there was some romanticization of Hannah and Joel’s relationship, this book overwhelmingly worked toward showing that a true marriage isn’t a perfect one but is rather made up of two imperfect people who decide to love each other despite their shortcomings. 3 stars overall.
October 29, 2021
At the start of this novel, main character Hannah finds out that her husband has cheated on her - but it’s over and he’s remorseful and wants to stay married. The rest of the book is essentially Hannah’s emotional journey as she tries to figure out who she is and what she wants, while also juggling kids, an aging father-in-law, friends, the possibility of putting herself back out there, and more.
The book addresses some serious issues but with a light touch on the writing - not unlike Jennifer Weiner, especially with the Philadelphia setting, or Katherine Center would be another good comparison. Real-feeling, relatable characters and interesting dilemmas - I bet this would also make a good book club book if your book club is open to getting personal discussing marriage and infidelity.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy in exchange for an honest review; another book that came out a few years ago but which I’m finally getting to in an effort to clear out some of my Netgalley backlog.
The book addresses some serious issues but with a light touch on the writing - not unlike Jennifer Weiner, especially with the Philadelphia setting, or Katherine Center would be another good comparison. Real-feeling, relatable characters and interesting dilemmas - I bet this would also make a good book club book if your book club is open to getting personal discussing marriage and infidelity.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy in exchange for an honest review; another book that came out a few years ago but which I’m finally getting to in an effort to clear out some of my Netgalley backlog.
February 28, 2020
Meh
I felt this story could have been helped if we had Joel's POV. I love to read books about cheating . IMO, to make any cheating story legitimate, you must have the cheater's POV. This book was just okay for me, but it needed some angst. The H with all the vomiting really got on my nerves.
I felt this story could have been helped if we had Joel's POV. I love to read books about cheating . IMO, to make any cheating story legitimate, you must have the cheater's POV. This book was just okay for me, but it needed some angst. The H with all the vomiting really got on my nerves.
May 29, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. I enjoyed the fact that it went straight into the action. Like you had come in mid sentence. When the action was already taking place. I really enjoyed the way that this book was written the characters and they way that this book unfolded.
October 19, 2019
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Sadly I did not enjoy this book. Not my usual genre but it was recommended to me. I felt nothing for the characters and found the story very predictable. Not my cup of tea.
Sadly I did not enjoy this book. Not my usual genre but it was recommended to me. I felt nothing for the characters and found the story very predictable. Not my cup of tea.
January 12, 2020
At my time a need to read
Wonderfully written. For those who need the art of keeping you family together this is the very book to read. One more thing....Lincoln for president!!!
Wonderfully written. For those who need the art of keeping you family together this is the very book to read. One more thing....Lincoln for president!!!
January 6, 2020
⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2 Stars
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