No Shitting in the Toilet: The Travel Guide for When You've Really Lost It

by Peter Moore

A travel guide with a difference, this title introduces a world where you are more likely to find a cockroach on your pillow than a complimentary mint, where you take your life in your own hands every time you get on a bus, where everything goes wrong, and you still end up loving every minute of it. Instead of practical hints, it gives you impractical ones (how to avoid jet lag - avoid jets) and rather than tell you the best places to stay, it tells you the worst. Instead of celebrating transcendental travel experiences, it revels in the most demeaning ones (on checking the hygiene in restaurants: there are two things you don't really want to see in life. The first is your parents having sex. The second is the state of the kitchen in restaurants catering for backpackers). But in that sense "No Shitting In The Toilet" is more in touch with the way things really are.

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Humor, Adventure

260 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Peter Moore (born 18 July 1962) is an Australian travel writer.

Moore, who was born in Sydney, claims to have visited 99 countries. He currently lives with his wife and daughter in London. He has published many books that re-tell tales of his travels.

He is a Vespa enthusiast and his 2005 book Vroom with a View and 2007 book Vroom by the Sea feature trips through Italy taken on vintage Italian motorscooters.

[Wikipedia]

Reviews

[Edwina Book Anaconda · Rating 1 out of 5]

The best thing about this book is the title.

[Raigo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kusagil esimese kolmandiku peal, kui ma olin end kohati juba hingetuks naernud, leidsin ma, et maailma naljakaima raamatu tiitel (mis kuulub teatavasti Jerome K. Jerome surematule reisijutule "Kolm meest paadis (koerast rääkimata)") võib juba ohus olla. Aga kusagil teise kolmandiku peal leidsin ma, et see muutub juba pisut väsitavaks. Nii et paadireis Thames'il jääb uhkelt edasi troonima.

Aga "Tualetis mitte sittuda" on sellegipoolest äärmiselt lõbus ja samas siiski ka hariv ning praktilisi näpunäiteid andev reisijuht. Näpunäited on küll enamasti üldisemat laadi ja vaid üksikutel juhtudel laskub autor detailsemalt ühe või teise koha analüüsi ning siis ka peamiselt selleks, et eriti paksude värvidega maalitud olukordi kirjeldada. Samas peab muidugi arvestama ka seda, et jutt käib enamasti Kolmanda Maailma riikidest, kus kõik muutub veelgi kiiremini kui lääne- ja põhjapoolsemates demokraatiates. Ning isegi seal on raamatu kirjutamisest möödunud mõnede aastate jooksul juhtunud see, et raamatus korduvalt mainitud saksa marka enam pole ja nii edasi.

Mõned tsitaadid:

Rahavööst.

Milleks teha iga kolme kilomeetri raadiuses asuva kaabaka, varganäo ja retsi elu lihtsaks sellega, et hoiate kogu oma maist varanatukest paelaga ümber oma keskkoha. Jätke see parem hotellituppa, et hotelli juhataja saaks iseteenindust harrastada.

- - - - -

Kas peaks sööma kohalikke delikatesse?

Hmmm. Konksuga küsimus. Võib ju väita, et kohalike delikatesside söömine võimaldab väärtuslikku pilguheitu kultuuri, mida te külastate. Minu kogemuste põhjal aga viib selline teguviis teid hoopis vahetumalt kontakti konkreetse riigi kanalisatsiooni peensustega.

Kui teis peaks aga tekkima vastupandamatu soov kiusatusele järele anda - või kui teie elu on seda mitte tehes ohus - pidage meeles üks lihtne reegel: vältige kõige sellise söömist, mis esineb ühtlasi ka antud riigi vapil.

- - - - -

Urgaste edetabel. Busha Beni Lodge, Beni, Zaire, jaanuar 1992

Kui poleks olnud seda tapeeti, oleks Busha olnud lihtsalt üks tavaline Aafrika "kuubik". Tapeedi muster ja värv lubasid oletada, et see pandi seina millalgi seitsmekümnendatel - kuigi Aafrikas pole sellised asjad alati heaks viiteks. Aga olulisem oli see, et niiskuse tõttu ei kuiva liim kunagi päriselt ära, nii et mõne eriti kopsaka moskiito või geko raskuse all koorub tapeet maha ja langeb kleepuva latakana pahaaimamatu külalise näole. Mina veetsin seal öö ühe erakordselt tontliku, lillaka ja keerdus tapeediriba soovimatuid lähenemiskatseid tagasi tõrjudes.

Jne. jne. jne.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unlike Moore's other books, this one is a combination of humorous (often saracstic pieces of travel "advice" grouped by theme: trains, planes, romance, trouble, etc.; within each he gives 10 anecdotes/examples/highlights from trips. I skimmed through this one quickly in a couple sittings though it's 250 pages long. Seems to be a filler book using much of the material from his previous exploits to get another title on the shelves for fans; new readers who find him funny would be hooked into reading his other books. I got it as a swap, and would have been disappointed had I paid more than $5 for it.

[thereadytraveller · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny send up of travel guides which in addition to providing generalised (un)helpful sections on the usual things you’d see a travel guide such as transport, health, eating and accommodation also provides the author’s top 10 lists on a variety of more specialised topics such as top 10 shitholes, top 10 rip-offs and top 10 horrific bus rides.

Like a guide book, this is something you can easily dip into at your own pleasure and has the added bonus that if you don’t like it can also be used in emergency situations while travelling in third world countries if you’re caught short and don’t fancy going local.

[Libby · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny read. I had to laugh at all the walkman references though, cassette tapes are soooo early 90's! I do remember my joy at getting my first walkman though and I did take mine travelling with me. It saved me from oodles of Ace of Base songs - for that I am truly grateful...

[Jennifer S. Alderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny! His lists are spot on, especially good read for backpackers just returning home and having trouble readjusting to Western society. Have recommended it to all my traveler friends.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really funny travel guide from the people that seem to know how to backpack best. (the Australians)

[Skyring]

I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/13040380

[Fan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A backpacker’s travel experiences, worth a read. I would recommend people first to read Peter’s “The Wrong Way Home: London to Sydney the hard way”, then read this one, thus it will help you understanding better for what he was talking about in this book. I do enjoy and learnt a lot on backpacker’s sleeking sense humour when things did turn as unexpected.

[Lee Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent fun! Not something you normally get from a travel guide and oddly inspiring in its own way. Definitely recommended.

[Heloise Jacobs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very very funny. Should not be read in public.

[André · Rating 5 out of 5]

An irreverant and hilarious travel guide for mundane side of travel.

[Saskia Brouwer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny stories.

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Starting off being pretty funny, but just got too repetitive,

[Monique · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heel vermakelijk tussendoor boekje!

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 3 out of 5]

He's no longer anti Canberra but obscenely anti Brisbane and New York. The New York thing pisses me off because I can't find from any of his stories that he's actually ever been there. And I'm also annoyed at yesterday's anti American tour guide, but anyway...

Loved his anecdotes and stories because we've all done such stupid stuff while travelling.

Honestly, I'm not sure what I thought about this book. It was typical Peter Moore in many sesnses but in others I think he's getting even more obnoxious. He actually has been to the States so I can't fault him, but the attacks on NY got old really quick. There were other times I was really laughing my ass off at the stupid things people, including myself, do while travelling.

One thing that really baffled me was his comments on how journals are such a waste of time and nothing worth doing. Can't imagine not journalling the trips I do.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Peter Moore is a funny funny man. And Aussie slang is .. odd. This book is designed kind of like a guide book, except with a lot more laughing. Repetitive a few times, in the way travel stories can be, but still great. Treats travelling like the messy boring sometimes painful thing it can be and the stories like the trophies they are.

With helpful tips on how to exaggerate them believably and make people think you've been to Afghanistan or Pakistan!

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It's a real antidote to the happy, sometimes cheesy, pollyanna style travel books that are all over the travel book market. This goes into the really earthy side of travel, the stuff that the brochures don't brag about. If you've ever had an unfortuante travel experience it'll resonate all too clearly. I laughed till I cried.

[Discoverylover]

I didn't enjoy this as much as Vroom by the Sea but it was still pretty good! Great book to read while planning a big trip overseas with funny stories about when it had all gone wrong and how to get out of it.

[Kara · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is packed with travel anecdotes and tips that give out a tang of dark humor. I might have been more into it if I had really planned to travel to somewhere adventurous right now. Still, it does spark some inspiration there. The book is divided into different topics so will really come in handy for all kinds of travelling.

[Dolf Patijn · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is not a travel book but a travel guide. I enjoyed his travel books better. The "Vroom" books are great. This is one of these books where I wonder if the publisher told him that he needed to come out with a book and he still had some material lying around to put together this travel guide. It is funny in places but not all that engaging.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was hilarious, and certainly a lot of situations that anyone who's ever travelled would recognize.

Don't read the entire book at once though - it gets too much. It's the perfect read for when you want to read something that doesn't require a lot of concentration.

[Mariefitriani · Rating 2 out of 5]

funny.. but that's about it

[CAMERON · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well worth reading, but not worth paying attention to.

[Ad Chopper · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny read, that I revisit once a year. Bite sized bits of information that is perfect for that long trip.

[Michele Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great laugh out loud stuff!

[Ann-Triksden Süld · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some things got a bit repetitive, but overall it was funny and surprisingly insightful (I just spotted a few backpack travelers myself recently, the description was perfect).

[Rui Igreja · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was supposed to be a funny book. There are indeed some funny moments, but there are more boring ones.

[Print Teach · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant. Completely un-traditional, laugh-out-loud, travel guide. Full of quirky memories, very silly facts, and - seemingly by accident - some really useful information. I absolutely loved it!

[Nick · Rating 2 out of 5]

An easy before bed read. A few laughs.