In The Shadow of Fame: A Memoir by the Daughter of Erik H. Erikson

by Sue Erikson Bloland

The daughter of the famed child psychologist recounts her father's rise to celebrity and her parents' attempt to heal their own childhood wounds through his fame, revealing the author's feelings of unworthiness in the face of her father's idealized image and his ability to connect with strangers better than with members of his family. 25,000 first printing.

Genres: Memoir, Audiobook

240 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 2005

Reviews

[Marjorie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ultimately, the book reaffirms what we all intuitively understand: No one gets out of childhood unscathed. While Sue Erikson Bloland was the youngest child of famed psychologist Erik Erikson, her own childhood was wracked by family secrets, unmet needs, a desire for love and acceptance, and a sense that her parents could not contain her imperfect emotions and actions. It is both sad and life affirming to realize we are all just human, and none of us gets through life perfectly.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a tough one to rate. It's certainly not a feel-good story, so human nature might lead one to rate it lower than it deserves on merit. While it is always painful and uncomfortable to learn the human failings of brilliant minds, the reader should be grateful for the more nuanced reality of Erikson and for the possible mirror it holds to our own balance of work and parenting and the implications for our own children. Where this book really shone for me is in a short but sweet spotlighting of how some common childhood dynamics have shaped many of the overachieving minds of recent history. Extra bonus points for being short (6 hrs), easy listen in audiobook format.

[Gail · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting how dysfunctional the family was, sad how little they shared their own problems with each other, telling that famous people are so insecure and need that constant reassurance of their talent.

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very thoughtful and revealing book about Bloland's life, about the psychological ripples of fame, and of how appearances often deceive.

[Abigail · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's interesting to hear about Erikson and his family from his daughters point of view but very repetitive.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating read. The author's stories of her mother and father helped me understand others better.

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn't put it down. A wonderful story of what lies beneath what looks like a perfect family.

[Private Account · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know how to describe this book except thus:

What is it like to be a "type b" raised by "type a's"? How do b's think about a's? Well, this one at least, is a beta right out of Brave New World. She thinks that there is something wrong with the, let's call them, alphas: they work too hard; they're not healthy; they're addicted to achievement. It's better to be a beta. Betas are more authentic.

Most of this book was horrific whining, but important whining for any alpha parent to hear. No alpha parent wants to raise a beta, yet many do, if not most. Why? Because to succeed at their work they don't focus on parenting, rather, they focus on their work. Through the neglect of their child (yes, hiring the best nanny money can buy IS neglect!) the parents make career success their child's mortal enemy from day 1. Their child cannot be ambitious, because ambition is his enemy.

This book confirms everything I have long thought about the best way to raise children, especially if you find yourself to have a "type a" personality. Your children MUST be more important than your work. If they are not, they will be miserable, whiny, betas, like the author of this book. And when they grow up, they will write a nasty book about you to get even.

This book gets two stars (instead of one) because it finally got interesting in the very last chapter, though the last chapter may only have been interesting because she paraphrases Becker, not because she had anything to add.

[Lukasz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Autorką książki jest córka słynnego profesora, psychologa Erika Eriksona, który opracował między innymi słynną teorię rowoju człowieka. Książka bardzo mi się podobała, zrobiła na mnie dobre wrażenie.
Autorka opisuje jak wyglądało jej dzieciństwo, relacje w rodzinie, sporo miejsca w książce poświęca swojej matce oraz ojcu, ale również swojemu młodszemu bratu który urodził się z zespołem Downa.
Chyba najciekawszą myślą która pojawiła się w książce dotyczy tego jak bardzo lubimy mity, z bajek przenosimy pewne wzorce na nasze życie prywatne, idealizujemy ludzi którzy osiągają sukces i otaczamy ich kultem jednostki. Przez wiele lat córka Erika Eriksona właśnie musiała się z uporać z tym że wyrastała w domu człowieka który był otoczony kultem jednostki. Autorka dochodzi w książce do wielu ciekawych wniosków. Miło zaskoczyła mnie ta książka.

[Akanksha Varma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somehow picked it up at a time when I myself am undergoing psychodynamic training and analysis. It was a 360-degree incisive take on growing up with -or, under the shadow of- fame. The journey of intact dynamics that drove Erikson and his wife's life and consequently their daughter's was so coherent, interesting, and beautiful that it forces you to look at your own experiences growing up. It does get a little repetitive at times but manages to keep the attention captured for most of the sojourn. The book also has very minimal mention of her brother Jon. But it does manage to add layers to the well-known fact that rejecting parents tend to lead to overachieving children, with escaping into fantasies, curated self, and the public validation. Overall, it was a book that deserves one read for the sake of seeing how psychodynamics play out from one generation to another.

[Cameron · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting view of what it was like growing up in the home of the famous psychologist, Erik Erikson. Written by his daughter, this will add some elements to your knowledge of Erikson that you probably didn't know (and may not have wanted to know).

[Abby Goldsmith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Did not finish at 25%. I was hoping for something more than bland insights and a memoir of a relatively normal life.

[Martin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish I could have given this a higher star rating, but it really said nothing new about the intersection between withholding parents and high achievement in one's field. I was pleased to learn a tiny bit about Erik Erikson's life, and how the man who wrote the seminal "Childhood & Society" grew up suffering from nagging questions about his paternity which had a tremendous weight in the early 20th century. The author's mother and father both accomplished a significant amount of self-invention, but Erik Erikson was also raked over the coals for hiding part of his Jewish heritage (and also for a perceived gender bias in his work), and was considered by some to be somewhat of a phony.

The author writes of her experience of her parents (her mother struggled to differentiate herself as a pioneer in art therapy, while also burnishing Erik Erikson's image/brand) in a sometimes clinical manner, which made more sense once she reveals that she also become a psychotherapist.

[Marcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting to hear of the family’s response to the birth of a baby with Down Syndrome.

[Nicole Marble · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dull.

[shirley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sue Bloland is a psychoanalyst daughter of her famous father Erik Erikson. Erikson is famous for his comprehensive psychoanalytic theory that identifies a series of eight stages, in which a healthy developing individual should pass through from infancy to late adulthood.

While there is a public image of her famous father, she personally witnessed the private insecure side of her father.

After working as a secretary and living in fear of ambition, at the age of 50, Sue pursued a master degree in social work, to become a psychoanalyst. The later part of the book is very interesting reading, where Sue talked about the different theories of pyschoanalysis.