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Raising Empowered Daughters: A Dad-to-Dad Guide
A fists-up handbook for helping dads help their daughters resist the patriarchy, written by popular feminist dad blogger Mike AdamickAs a primary male role model in a girl's life, a father influences his daughter in profound ways, from the way she defines her female identity to what she expects from men. In Raising Empowered Daughters, Mike Adamick offers a wise and witty handbook for dads, suggesting ways to raise girls who won't settle for second-class-citizenship. Examining the extraordinary array of sexisms-both subtle and not-so-subtle-girls encounter, Adamick highlights not just the ways that girls and boys are treated differently but how the roles of moms and dads are shaped by society, too. Full of eye-opening anecdotes and dad-relatable humor, this is a necessary guide for every father who wants to raise a confident daughter.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
274 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 4, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
December 30, 2018
I imagine that it would surprise few readers to know that there are innumerable events at work in our society that contribute to the suppression of women---so how does a dad help his daughter (and himself) to avoid as much of it as possible? The long and short of it is to be constantly evolving and open-minded (also, don't be an arse), and a book such as this one helps to aggregate and identify the major areas of focus.
So much here might seem obvious (princess clothes, toys to mimic cleaning), but Adamick is clear on the long-term effects of what girls are getting from multiple angles, whether it be expectations, costernations, or limited access to resources (intended and unintended). I mean, have you ever thought about the fact that, as a guy, grabbing a business drink with your boss truly doesn't carry the same weight were you a woman? The book's just trying to make a point here, which leads me to the next thing to say...
Most of the people that need to read this book (that I know personally) don't read *period*. That's telling in and of itself, but Adamick does instruct that change begins with the reader---the communication of what's over-the-line and/or oppressive, as opposed to innocent. One of the more notable points made in the book is that many of the things responsible dads should rail against get them in trouble, that such things are "no big deal", or that people are "too PC nowadays". Armed with results of lengthy studies, advice from experts in various fields, and numerous pulls from popular culture to back him up, Adamick persuasively shows that we stand to lose so much from being so complacent and indifferent toward the daily bombardment our children endure. I say "children" because Adamick goes into hard detail to outline the idea that a large chunk of positive change comes with the re-evaluation of how we raise our boys, too, making this essential reading for parents *period*.
Now, have I any complaints about the book? Not directly, no, but a few suggestions not to be judged by length of the paragraph. The author labels himself as a movie buff, but he makes a few less-than-ideal choices as examples: (1) He mentions the film Mulan and cites an example where Mushu, voiced by Eddie Murphy, has more words than the lead (female) character. While I am sure that this is true, the example is deceptive and I think doesn't (or chose to not take) other things into account, like the fact that Mushu is literally a fast-talking, smart-mouthed comic relief, as opposed to Mulan's, well, not fast-talking personality (i.e. less words). Anyone familiar with Murphy's schtick knows what's going on. Couple that with the obvious move by Disney to use his star-power to propel the film to success (we're in the realm wherein Disney had released Hercules and The Hunchback of Notre Dame, oft-considered classics in their own rights, but not the cash cows that preceded them like Aladdin or The Lion King), and I think a critical reader could argue that Disney, by way of including Murphy, helped to get the story of Mulan to the big screen to start with, which is commendable in its own right. I know that every single, finite detail can't be considered that's brought up, but this example is too weak. (2) While making some really interesting and great points about male domination in film, the movie Rogue One is referred to as a "disgusting bachelor party" and "nearly unwatchable for its maleness". While Adamick is quick to applaud RO's diversity, I have to ask just why in the hell he feels compelled to issue such a decree on a movie that's a part of one of the more progressive film series (obviously we're not in a super-happy territory, but, when you think of the whole, the recent SW films are objectively working to at least do something). Such a complaint seemed to be soaked so thoroughly in disdain that it took me straight out of the book.
As a new dad to a daughter, I can say that Adamick has put together a humbling (but splended) work that gives a road map to follow to help guide one into making sound, fair decisions. Even despite my concerns listed above, I think what's here is wonderful and worthy. Drop it in your queue.
Many thanks to NetGalley, Perseus Books, Da Capo Press, and Seal Press for the advance read.
So much here might seem obvious (princess clothes, toys to mimic cleaning), but Adamick is clear on the long-term effects of what girls are getting from multiple angles, whether it be expectations, costernations, or limited access to resources (intended and unintended). I mean, have you ever thought about the fact that, as a guy, grabbing a business drink with your boss truly doesn't carry the same weight were you a woman? The book's just trying to make a point here, which leads me to the next thing to say...
Most of the people that need to read this book (that I know personally) don't read *period*. That's telling in and of itself, but Adamick does instruct that change begins with the reader---the communication of what's over-the-line and/or oppressive, as opposed to innocent. One of the more notable points made in the book is that many of the things responsible dads should rail against get them in trouble, that such things are "no big deal", or that people are "too PC nowadays". Armed with results of lengthy studies, advice from experts in various fields, and numerous pulls from popular culture to back him up, Adamick persuasively shows that we stand to lose so much from being so complacent and indifferent toward the daily bombardment our children endure. I say "children" because Adamick goes into hard detail to outline the idea that a large chunk of positive change comes with the re-evaluation of how we raise our boys, too, making this essential reading for parents *period*.
Now, have I any complaints about the book? Not directly, no, but a few suggestions not to be judged by length of the paragraph. The author labels himself as a movie buff, but he makes a few less-than-ideal choices as examples: (1) He mentions the film Mulan and cites an example where Mushu, voiced by Eddie Murphy, has more words than the lead (female) character. While I am sure that this is true, the example is deceptive and I think doesn't (or chose to not take) other things into account, like the fact that Mushu is literally a fast-talking, smart-mouthed comic relief, as opposed to Mulan's, well, not fast-talking personality (i.e. less words). Anyone familiar with Murphy's schtick knows what's going on. Couple that with the obvious move by Disney to use his star-power to propel the film to success (we're in the realm wherein Disney had released Hercules and The Hunchback of Notre Dame, oft-considered classics in their own rights, but not the cash cows that preceded them like Aladdin or The Lion King), and I think a critical reader could argue that Disney, by way of including Murphy, helped to get the story of Mulan to the big screen to start with, which is commendable in its own right. I know that every single, finite detail can't be considered that's brought up, but this example is too weak. (2) While making some really interesting and great points about male domination in film, the movie Rogue One is referred to as a "disgusting bachelor party" and "nearly unwatchable for its maleness". While Adamick is quick to applaud RO's diversity, I have to ask just why in the hell he feels compelled to issue such a decree on a movie that's a part of one of the more progressive film series (obviously we're not in a super-happy territory, but, when you think of the whole, the recent SW films are objectively working to at least do something). Such a complaint seemed to be soaked so thoroughly in disdain that it took me straight out of the book.
As a new dad to a daughter, I can say that Adamick has put together a humbling (but splended) work that gives a road map to follow to help guide one into making sound, fair decisions. Even despite my concerns listed above, I think what's here is wonderful and worthy. Drop it in your queue.
Many thanks to NetGalley, Perseus Books, Da Capo Press, and Seal Press for the advance read.
September 7, 2019
Before I begin my review, I want to make some things clear. First, I am not a Dad, but I am a daughter of one. I was curious to see if my Dad raised an empower daughter based on this book and I got the book to see what my Dad thought of this book. Second, my views/opinions of this book was based on my personal experiences as a woman and my beliefs. This means you may have similar or dissimilar than me when reading this book. I cannot write a view that is based on someone else's experiences. Third, my rating of "2 stars" is based on an average of the introduction and chapters' ratings on a 5-star scale.
Introduction: I read the introduction last, which means I was influenced by what I read. I have two problems with the introduction. First, where is the references and bibliography? The author said he was an investigative reporter, but there was no URLs or concrete information for me to find his facts and figures. Second, I had a problems with his second part on the housekeeping notes. While I cannot stop people from using curse words and foul language, I do not believe any gender should use it. When someone uses that language, they sound mean and angry. I learned this from my Dad, who believes that foul language cheapens speech.
Chapter 1-Clothes Hounds: I understand his points, but I am not in total agreement. First, I have not analyze my clothing to reach the conclusion that I am saying I am "prey" for males. My wardrobe might tell you I love T-shirts with witty sayings or superheroes. I will agree about the lack of pockets in women clothing, because I may not want to carry a purse. Second, I am not sure if I have seen college logos on boy clothing more than girl clothing. Third, I disagree about the dress code. The dress code was shorts and skirts have to be finger-tip length. This rule was challenging for those of us who had long arms (i.e. me), but I was never made to change my clothes. I found the long shorts that obeyed the dress code. My Grandma never understood about why I had to wear shorts almost to my knees. She actually wanted me to buy shorter ones, but I said "No, I will not break the rules."
Chapter 2-Nature Versus Nurture: Overall, I have no big complaints. I will say some of the information was obvious and common sense.
Chapter 3-The Low Dad Bar: Yes! This chapter really resonated with me, because my Dad took care of my brother and I as my Mom went to work and completed her doctoral program. I asked my Dad if he got random praise, but he says he does not recall. He also said that if he did get any then he probably ignored it for he views being a Dad as his job. I felt this chapter was truthful about the low Dad bar. I see very few men at the library's storytimes. There was once two men who came to storytimes.
Chapter 4-You Are What You Eat: Overall, I agree with this chapter. I will say this that I do not think was explicitly said. Our bodies are not design to have extra weight or too little weight, but a healthy weight will vary depending on lifestyle and body type. I cannot believe a parent would allow a seven-year old to wear a string bikini. I would not wear a string bikini as a woman, because it does not look very secure.
Chapter 5-Boys Will Be Boys: This chapter was hard to take. The first time I heard the phrase "boys will be boys" was college in my Gender Studies class. Bad behavior is bad behavior. I have not heard of hitting a person equals liking person, but I have heard of making fun of a girl means a boy likes her. This never made sense to me. If someone makes fun of you then they must dislike you or feel inferior to you. Also I thought it was weird that the only examples of male politicians sexually assaulting women or alledgely doing it were Republicans (page 78). I am pretty sure there have been Democrats who have done the same thing.
Chapter 6-Her Best Frenemy: My Dad never told me to silence my anger. I knew that suppressing emotions is bad, but I was also a good girl. I knew when I could yell and hit something and when I could not.
Chapter 7-Sorry Not Sorry: My biggest problem with this chapter is the concept of "mansploring." This is not a man only thing. I have told my Mom that something does not work in a certain way, but she tries it anyway. I will also say that sometimes people do something without asking. For example, people join a line without checking the purpose of the line, especially when there are three lines. I have encountered "manspreading" once at church. That made no sense to me. It was like he was trying to do the splits in the pew.
Chapter 8-Movies and Myths of the "Strong, Powerful Female Character": I have always believed that movies have been behind the times when it comes to depictions of women and race. If you want women having sci-fi/fantasy adventures then open a book, but the author did not mention how books are perpuating the myth. There was a brief mention of books erasing a woman's identity on page 239, but there was no chapter on it. Why? As a librarian, I can name more books with strong, leading female characters than boys. I will admit this maybe, because I have read more books with those books and not that they are more prevalent.
Chapter 9-Not Playing Around: This chapter has some points, such as the store aisles. The rest of the chapter was iffy for me. Yes, I had dolls, but my dolls were usually teachers and students that were at a school for leaders and diplomats. They were not taking care of the house. I would also play scientist in the bathroom by mixing lotions and liquids in hopes of creating an observable reaction (i.e. explosion like baking soda and vinegar). I knew I was a girl, but I do remember if I reinforce that toys were for certain genders. Because my Mom is an educator and a vice principal, I asked her about purses and dolls for boys. My Mom was not impress for that already exists, such as messenger bags and G.I. Joe. I will say it was injustice not to include Black Widow with the Avengers, but I would have like a photographic of this in the book or a reference to an article.
Chapter 10-Throw Like a Girl: Yes, this chapter sounds bad, but I do not recall if they were problems with my sport (swimming). I am not sure if anyone has ever said to a boy "You swim like a girl" as an insult. I would have to ask my cousins if they got flak for being competitive swimmers as girls.
Chapter 11-Online Harassment: So far in my life, I have not been harassed online, but I also try not to say anything that will cause people to get mad at me. I watch what I type, but I will say my view of Chapter 16 may cause some people to get mad at me. There is no reason to degrade someone whether online or person, because you disagree with them or they exist.
Chapter 12-Like, Math Is So Hard!: This chapter made me mad, because this was never my experience. I excelled at math and science. In the summer before 6th grade, I got my schedule for the first time and I noticed they put me in Pre-Algebra, instead of 6th grade math without any input from me. This might have happen, because in 5th grade I was helping girls and boys with understanding fractions. Even if they were present did, the examples of male scientist posters would have been too subtle of a message for me (pages 159-160). This chapter and the others did not seem to acknowledge that girls can have positive experiences.
Chapter 13-Black Girl Magic: I am not going to discuss this chapter, because I do not having life experience with this. I will say this appears to have merit based on my Mom's experience in the education system.
Chapter 14-Pay Day: If everything in this chapter is true then things look bleak. I will agree that parenting is for both Moms and Dads. My religious faith supports this. The concept of splitting the house work was my reality. My Dad did most of the household chores for he was home during the day. I do not have any real-world examples of men mentoring, but this concept does exist in books. The only example I can think of is in Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small fantasy series. Kel was mentored by a male knight with some serious clout and respect. If the idea exists in the fictional world then in theory it should exist in the real world.
Chapter 15-Waiting for Madam President: I was not a fan of pages 208-210. I have never heard of the stripping of voting rights, which made me want references. There were no references or footnotes about where I can find this information. The author said he provided references, but they were not listed in an obvious bibliography. Okay, he is a Hilary Clinton supporter and she was treated horrible as a presidential candidate, but other women politicians on both sides of the aisle were treated horribly. Even before Hilary Clinton ran for president, Sarah Palin was ridicule when she was only a VP candidate. Women should not be ridicule for running for political office.
Chapter 16-Your Opinion on Abortion Is Invalid: I am nervous about stating my thoughts on this chapter for people may disagree with me. The author is saying men should have no opinion about a woman's reproductive rights, especially abortion, for it is her body and she should have agency. First, the author said men should be involved with parenting for they help make the kids (page 48), but that seems to go away in this chapter. This seems to say that a man has no say about abortions, but are they not still a part of this process? I realize this is different when talking about rape, but if a man and woman have sex that results in a child then that means the man has no say on what happens to the the developing child? Second, I have a problem with the "Aunt Lydia" phrase. Until this book, I have never heard of this phrase. I am guessing it is the reproductive rights version of an Uncle Tom? The phrase Aunt Lydia makes no sense for it appears to say that if a woman is against abortions it means a man is controlling her. Does that not go against what the author has been saying about women having their own agency and are not the property of men? The part about being her body does not make sense to me, because a baby or a fetus is not totally made out of the woman's DNA. Yes, the baby is inside the woman and is attached to her, but I am not understanding how it is still her body? Also I was shocked by his last sentence on page 231. Would the author still say that to a woman if she disagrees about abortions being on demand?
Chapter 17-Daddy's Got a Gun: I did the exercise on page 233. I see the author's points, but it seem to be only present for the first 2-4 rows. I am not sure what to think about pages 237-239. I do not think I reach the same conclusions that he did about the examples on those pages. I will admit that sometimes subtle things go over my head, because I have tendency to read too much into things.
Chapter 18-Having "The Talk": My Church's Young Adult Group (18-39) had a discussion on this. We agree that parents should communicate with their children on sex and their bodies in a respectful and helpful way. Page 250's description on the "incel" community is horrible.
Verdict: I think the author tried to make a good guide, but I felt there were some holes, based only on my experience. There may not be holes when looking at all the experiences. My Dad, my Mom, and I wish we knew the author's background to understand what he said in all the chapters. I think everybody should read and review this book to see if my experience is an outlier or not.
Introduction: I read the introduction last, which means I was influenced by what I read. I have two problems with the introduction. First, where is the references and bibliography? The author said he was an investigative reporter, but there was no URLs or concrete information for me to find his facts and figures. Second, I had a problems with his second part on the housekeeping notes. While I cannot stop people from using curse words and foul language, I do not believe any gender should use it. When someone uses that language, they sound mean and angry. I learned this from my Dad, who believes that foul language cheapens speech.
Chapter 1-Clothes Hounds: I understand his points, but I am not in total agreement. First, I have not analyze my clothing to reach the conclusion that I am saying I am "prey" for males. My wardrobe might tell you I love T-shirts with witty sayings or superheroes. I will agree about the lack of pockets in women clothing, because I may not want to carry a purse. Second, I am not sure if I have seen college logos on boy clothing more than girl clothing. Third, I disagree about the dress code. The dress code was shorts and skirts have to be finger-tip length. This rule was challenging for those of us who had long arms (i.e. me), but I was never made to change my clothes. I found the long shorts that obeyed the dress code. My Grandma never understood about why I had to wear shorts almost to my knees. She actually wanted me to buy shorter ones, but I said "No, I will not break the rules."
Chapter 2-Nature Versus Nurture: Overall, I have no big complaints. I will say some of the information was obvious and common sense.
Chapter 3-The Low Dad Bar: Yes! This chapter really resonated with me, because my Dad took care of my brother and I as my Mom went to work and completed her doctoral program. I asked my Dad if he got random praise, but he says he does not recall. He also said that if he did get any then he probably ignored it for he views being a Dad as his job. I felt this chapter was truthful about the low Dad bar. I see very few men at the library's storytimes. There was once two men who came to storytimes.
Chapter 4-You Are What You Eat: Overall, I agree with this chapter. I will say this that I do not think was explicitly said. Our bodies are not design to have extra weight or too little weight, but a healthy weight will vary depending on lifestyle and body type. I cannot believe a parent would allow a seven-year old to wear a string bikini. I would not wear a string bikini as a woman, because it does not look very secure.
Chapter 5-Boys Will Be Boys: This chapter was hard to take. The first time I heard the phrase "boys will be boys" was college in my Gender Studies class. Bad behavior is bad behavior. I have not heard of hitting a person equals liking person, but I have heard of making fun of a girl means a boy likes her. This never made sense to me. If someone makes fun of you then they must dislike you or feel inferior to you. Also I thought it was weird that the only examples of male politicians sexually assaulting women or alledgely doing it were Republicans (page 78). I am pretty sure there have been Democrats who have done the same thing.
Chapter 6-Her Best Frenemy: My Dad never told me to silence my anger. I knew that suppressing emotions is bad, but I was also a good girl. I knew when I could yell and hit something and when I could not.
Chapter 7-Sorry Not Sorry: My biggest problem with this chapter is the concept of "mansploring." This is not a man only thing. I have told my Mom that something does not work in a certain way, but she tries it anyway. I will also say that sometimes people do something without asking. For example, people join a line without checking the purpose of the line, especially when there are three lines. I have encountered "manspreading" once at church. That made no sense to me. It was like he was trying to do the splits in the pew.
Chapter 8-Movies and Myths of the "Strong, Powerful Female Character": I have always believed that movies have been behind the times when it comes to depictions of women and race. If you want women having sci-fi/fantasy adventures then open a book, but the author did not mention how books are perpuating the myth. There was a brief mention of books erasing a woman's identity on page 239, but there was no chapter on it. Why? As a librarian, I can name more books with strong, leading female characters than boys. I will admit this maybe, because I have read more books with those books and not that they are more prevalent.
Chapter 9-Not Playing Around: This chapter has some points, such as the store aisles. The rest of the chapter was iffy for me. Yes, I had dolls, but my dolls were usually teachers and students that were at a school for leaders and diplomats. They were not taking care of the house. I would also play scientist in the bathroom by mixing lotions and liquids in hopes of creating an observable reaction (i.e. explosion like baking soda and vinegar). I knew I was a girl, but I do remember if I reinforce that toys were for certain genders. Because my Mom is an educator and a vice principal, I asked her about purses and dolls for boys. My Mom was not impress for that already exists, such as messenger bags and G.I. Joe. I will say it was injustice not to include Black Widow with the Avengers, but I would have like a photographic of this in the book or a reference to an article.
Chapter 10-Throw Like a Girl: Yes, this chapter sounds bad, but I do not recall if they were problems with my sport (swimming). I am not sure if anyone has ever said to a boy "You swim like a girl" as an insult. I would have to ask my cousins if they got flak for being competitive swimmers as girls.
Chapter 11-Online Harassment: So far in my life, I have not been harassed online, but I also try not to say anything that will cause people to get mad at me. I watch what I type, but I will say my view of Chapter 16 may cause some people to get mad at me. There is no reason to degrade someone whether online or person, because you disagree with them or they exist.
Chapter 12-Like, Math Is So Hard!: This chapter made me mad, because this was never my experience. I excelled at math and science. In the summer before 6th grade, I got my schedule for the first time and I noticed they put me in Pre-Algebra, instead of 6th grade math without any input from me. This might have happen, because in 5th grade I was helping girls and boys with understanding fractions. Even if they were present did, the examples of male scientist posters would have been too subtle of a message for me (pages 159-160). This chapter and the others did not seem to acknowledge that girls can have positive experiences.
Chapter 13-Black Girl Magic: I am not going to discuss this chapter, because I do not having life experience with this. I will say this appears to have merit based on my Mom's experience in the education system.
Chapter 14-Pay Day: If everything in this chapter is true then things look bleak. I will agree that parenting is for both Moms and Dads. My religious faith supports this. The concept of splitting the house work was my reality. My Dad did most of the household chores for he was home during the day. I do not have any real-world examples of men mentoring, but this concept does exist in books. The only example I can think of is in Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small fantasy series. Kel was mentored by a male knight with some serious clout and respect. If the idea exists in the fictional world then in theory it should exist in the real world.
Chapter 15-Waiting for Madam President: I was not a fan of pages 208-210. I have never heard of the stripping of voting rights, which made me want references. There were no references or footnotes about where I can find this information. The author said he provided references, but they were not listed in an obvious bibliography. Okay, he is a Hilary Clinton supporter and she was treated horrible as a presidential candidate, but other women politicians on both sides of the aisle were treated horribly. Even before Hilary Clinton ran for president, Sarah Palin was ridicule when she was only a VP candidate. Women should not be ridicule for running for political office.
Chapter 16-Your Opinion on Abortion Is Invalid: I am nervous about stating my thoughts on this chapter for people may disagree with me. The author is saying men should have no opinion about a woman's reproductive rights, especially abortion, for it is her body and she should have agency. First, the author said men should be involved with parenting for they help make the kids (page 48), but that seems to go away in this chapter. This seems to say that a man has no say about abortions, but are they not still a part of this process? I realize this is different when talking about rape, but if a man and woman have sex that results in a child then that means the man has no say on what happens to the the developing child? Second, I have a problem with the "Aunt Lydia" phrase. Until this book, I have never heard of this phrase. I am guessing it is the reproductive rights version of an Uncle Tom? The phrase Aunt Lydia makes no sense for it appears to say that if a woman is against abortions it means a man is controlling her. Does that not go against what the author has been saying about women having their own agency and are not the property of men? The part about being her body does not make sense to me, because a baby or a fetus is not totally made out of the woman's DNA. Yes, the baby is inside the woman and is attached to her, but I am not understanding how it is still her body? Also I was shocked by his last sentence on page 231. Would the author still say that to a woman if she disagrees about abortions being on demand?
Chapter 17-Daddy's Got a Gun: I did the exercise on page 233. I see the author's points, but it seem to be only present for the first 2-4 rows. I am not sure what to think about pages 237-239. I do not think I reach the same conclusions that he did about the examples on those pages. I will admit that sometimes subtle things go over my head, because I have tendency to read too much into things.
Chapter 18-Having "The Talk": My Church's Young Adult Group (18-39) had a discussion on this. We agree that parents should communicate with their children on sex and their bodies in a respectful and helpful way. Page 250's description on the "incel" community is horrible.
Verdict: I think the author tried to make a good guide, but I felt there were some holes, based only on my experience. There may not be holes when looking at all the experiences. My Dad, my Mom, and I wish we knew the author's background to understand what he said in all the chapters. I think everybody should read and review this book to see if my experience is an outlier or not.
December 3, 2019
This book is not a guide for parents. This book is not a practical guide for anything. It's not a collection of stories about a man's relationship with his daughter. It's not a discussion on a man's responsibility in a chauvinistic culture to change things for the better. It's not a an analysis of how bad things have gotten for young women and what men need to be to correct that. It's not a collection short tips to raise a daughter to be the best she can be.
This book attempts to be these things, and accomplishes none of them. What it is is a series of rants with academic citations to support them, pointing out how we live in a sexist society and it's men's fault we've reached that point (note, I'm not arguing against that). I thought this was a harsh wake-up call that lot of men need, so didn't mind seeing it as the book's introduction. But it quickly became obvious that this book offered next to nothing besides that anger. Each chapter ends with a "So, What Can We Do?" section, that should have the advice to raise one's daughter to overcome all this. It doesn't. Apparently all we can do as men is make it clear that this situation angers us, and show our daughters that we want to change our behavior.
I wanted a practical book about how to raise my kid in a world that's stacked against her, and instead I got a book that wanted to pile as much guilt and negativity on me as it could. Usually if I don't enjoy a book, I can see that someone else might get more use out of it than me, and I sell or donate it.
I threw this book in the trash. If you're a dad who wants advice from other dads about how to raise your daughter to be empowered, you need to look elsewhere.
This book attempts to be these things, and accomplishes none of them. What it is is a series of rants with academic citations to support them, pointing out how we live in a sexist society and it's men's fault we've reached that point (note, I'm not arguing against that). I thought this was a harsh wake-up call that lot of men need, so didn't mind seeing it as the book's introduction. But it quickly became obvious that this book offered next to nothing besides that anger. Each chapter ends with a "So, What Can We Do?" section, that should have the advice to raise one's daughter to overcome all this. It doesn't. Apparently all we can do as men is make it clear that this situation angers us, and show our daughters that we want to change our behavior.
I wanted a practical book about how to raise my kid in a world that's stacked against her, and instead I got a book that wanted to pile as much guilt and negativity on me as it could. Usually if I don't enjoy a book, I can see that someone else might get more use out of it than me, and I sell or donate it.
I threw this book in the trash. If you're a dad who wants advice from other dads about how to raise your daughter to be empowered, you need to look elsewhere.
November 9, 2020
Yes this is about raising empowered daughters, but it attacks the idea from the standpoint of teaching men to drop the misogyny they’ve naturally ingested by living in society.
Coming from just reading A Brief History of Misogyny by Jack Holland, this was a great book to help me work through what it means in daily practice and language to NOT further misogynist beliefs that I’ve naturally ingested and don’t want to pass on.
Must read for any man out there whether or not you have daughters to raise.
Coming from just reading A Brief History of Misogyny by Jack Holland, this was a great book to help me work through what it means in daily practice and language to NOT further misogynist beliefs that I’ve naturally ingested and don’t want to pass on.
Must read for any man out there whether or not you have daughters to raise.
November 21, 2019
Dadhood has been on my mind for a while; I became a new Dad a few years ago, and my daughter is now a significant part of my life. As a first time parent, you go through a variety of feelings and experiences. As a Dad, there have been a host of questions about the best way for me to interact with my daughter now and going forward.
Raising Empowered Daughters is a book about raising Daughters obviously, but also a book about the systemic sexism that permeates North American society and how being a Dad deals with that.
The Book, in both these regards in excellent. It is clearly written, there are solid references in the back, and each chapter ends with a 'what do you do' section. This last is important. Many books about topics like sexism merely report on the bad, without offering any advice on how to operate against those systems. This book provides you with plenty of information on that front. From how to deal with the ridiculous pinkification of everything, to how to avoid falling into traps with clothes and toys that are 'for girls', to the positive ways you can interact with your daughter to help her build better relationships in the future; these were all informative.
Much of the book talks about Dad's position in society, and how these expectations reinforce a variety fo negative sexist stereotypes; the Bumbling dad, the assumption that Father won't know what to do with kids because that's 'Mom's Job'. The jokes about Fathers, Shotguns and Daughter's Dates. These are things I already knew, but it was nice to have them verified from another perspective; that Dads are given credit for doing minimal work with their children, but are then sometimes suspect if they are the principal care-givers for example.
I do have some quibbles with the book; some of its claims are suspect. This is especially true in regards to statistics, where he makes a few common claims regarding statistics that don't bare out. The simplest one I recall was discussing Rape, in which he points out that of 1000 claims of rape, something like 6-8 result in a conviction. This is entirely true. But how he says it implies this means that there are thus 994 rapists who never get convicted. This has problems because most Men who engage in sexual assault are string offenders(i.e. it is statistically very likely that many assaults are committed by a smaller cadre of perpetrators). This is a small complaint over-all, but I feel like some simple word choices or considerations could tighten up some of the arguments being made.
Over-all the book is fantastic and I would recommend it to all Dads and Wannabe-Dads. I'd actually recommend it to pretty much everybody on some level; it's references to resources alone are fantastic.
Raising Empowered Daughters is a book about raising Daughters obviously, but also a book about the systemic sexism that permeates North American society and how being a Dad deals with that.
The Book, in both these regards in excellent. It is clearly written, there are solid references in the back, and each chapter ends with a 'what do you do' section. This last is important. Many books about topics like sexism merely report on the bad, without offering any advice on how to operate against those systems. This book provides you with plenty of information on that front. From how to deal with the ridiculous pinkification of everything, to how to avoid falling into traps with clothes and toys that are 'for girls', to the positive ways you can interact with your daughter to help her build better relationships in the future; these were all informative.
Much of the book talks about Dad's position in society, and how these expectations reinforce a variety fo negative sexist stereotypes; the Bumbling dad, the assumption that Father won't know what to do with kids because that's 'Mom's Job'. The jokes about Fathers, Shotguns and Daughter's Dates. These are things I already knew, but it was nice to have them verified from another perspective; that Dads are given credit for doing minimal work with their children, but are then sometimes suspect if they are the principal care-givers for example.
I do have some quibbles with the book; some of its claims are suspect. This is especially true in regards to statistics, where he makes a few common claims regarding statistics that don't bare out. The simplest one I recall was discussing Rape, in which he points out that of 1000 claims of rape, something like 6-8 result in a conviction. This is entirely true. But how he says it implies this means that there are thus 994 rapists who never get convicted. This has problems because most Men who engage in sexual assault are string offenders(i.e. it is statistically very likely that many assaults are committed by a smaller cadre of perpetrators). This is a small complaint over-all, but I feel like some simple word choices or considerations could tighten up some of the arguments being made.
Over-all the book is fantastic and I would recommend it to all Dads and Wannabe-Dads. I'd actually recommend it to pretty much everybody on some level; it's references to resources alone are fantastic.
April 2, 2020
I often wrote that a review for a book can often be slanted based on what one's expectations was when deciding to read said book. Due to my expectations and what I was looking for, I ended up not particularly enjoying this read.
As suggested by the title, I was hoping for a somewhat practical book about raising my own daughter - how to help give her confidence, esteem, to feel empowered about herself and her choices, and whatever they may be. This book, in my opinon, doesn't offer this.
Adamick points out in the introduction that overarching sexist society we live in, and how patriarchy invades all provinces of our society. No disagreement here, and certainly being aware of said patriarchy and challenging it when the opportunity presents itself, and doing your best to avoid being a party to it, is a healthy attitude to have. So it was a good introduction.
Unfortunately, the book doesn't offer much else. Each chapter explores that patriarchy in different segments of our society; ultimately, it felt that these chapters simply repeated the same general ideas of the preceding chapter (with a lot of cursing and ranting thrown in). The author ends each chapter with a "what to do about it" section; but it offers more than, again, just being aware and challenging it. Nothing about how on might seek structural change (probably not what the book was going to be about), or how to empower one's daughter (or stay out of her way) so she has the tools she needs (the practical stuff I was looking for).
Again, I don't disagree with hardly anything Adamick wrote in the book. It just felt mostly redundant, contained too much ranting, and, ultimately, wasn't what I was looking for when I chose to read the book.
As suggested by the title, I was hoping for a somewhat practical book about raising my own daughter - how to help give her confidence, esteem, to feel empowered about herself and her choices, and whatever they may be. This book, in my opinon, doesn't offer this.
Adamick points out in the introduction that overarching sexist society we live in, and how patriarchy invades all provinces of our society. No disagreement here, and certainly being aware of said patriarchy and challenging it when the opportunity presents itself, and doing your best to avoid being a party to it, is a healthy attitude to have. So it was a good introduction.
Unfortunately, the book doesn't offer much else. Each chapter explores that patriarchy in different segments of our society; ultimately, it felt that these chapters simply repeated the same general ideas of the preceding chapter (with a lot of cursing and ranting thrown in). The author ends each chapter with a "what to do about it" section; but it offers more than, again, just being aware and challenging it. Nothing about how on might seek structural change (probably not what the book was going to be about), or how to empower one's daughter (or stay out of her way) so she has the tools she needs (the practical stuff I was looking for).
Again, I don't disagree with hardly anything Adamick wrote in the book. It just felt mostly redundant, contained too much ranting, and, ultimately, wasn't what I was looking for when I chose to read the book.
October 22, 2019
Part sociology lesson, part guide, part manifesto, Raising Empowered Daughters skews a little bit too specifically American to feel completely essential. As a direct, personal and unapologetic call to action, there's little else to fault, though.
January 16, 2020
The book was a tough read and came across as very preachy and judgmental, but in the end it seems like valid tactics.
August 6, 2020
This was one of the most infuriating books I've ever read. Adamick was trying too hard to be appropriately outraged but also relatable to the boys. Barf. Would have given this zero stars.
June 25, 2023
Not a guide. Rather a feminist screed.
August 16, 2021
4.5 stars rounded up to 5
February 6, 2019
As the father of a 4 year old daughter that is already showing signs of leadership skills and is happily extroverted, I found this to be a great book. It delves into the different ways society treats girls and boys and offers some great insight and advice. Recommended for anyone raising daughters in the USA.
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