Going Solo: My choice to become a single mother using a donor

by Genevieve Roberts

Going Solo is the empowering and uplifting story of one woman's choice to become a single mother. 'I hope this story gives hope to anyone who wants children and to anyone who finds themselves single. Not to follow this path necessarily, but to remember that there are always many options.'Aged thirty-seven, single and having experienced two miscarriages, Genevieve Roberts found out that her fertility levels were dwlindling. On hearing this news, she made the courageous decision to embark on motherhood solo and eventually became pregnant using a sperm donor.Genevieve describes her initial fear of the prospect of birth without a partner, and the trepidation she felt towards all the responsibility she has taken on. She recounts all the milestones of pregnancy and motherhood that most women share with their partner -- going to NCT classes alone, taking part in birthing workshops with her sister-in-law, her amazement that two people in her pregnancy yoga class are following the same path as her. But ultimately what triumphs is Genevieve's excitement at meeting her daughter. She recalls the first months of parenthood, navigating the love, worry and tiredness of life with a newborn without a partner. She describes the beautiful simplicity of the relationship between herself and her daughter, as she gets to know Astrid without having to consider a partner. Going Solo is for anyone whose life has taken an unexpected twist; for people who are interested in modern families and for those who want to take control of their life and follow their dreams of parenthood. It celebrates the fulfilment that comes from following what makes you happy, and reminds us that beauty may be found when life offers a surprise or a deviation from convention.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Memoir

201 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 11, 2020

Reviews

[Rachel (Smelleykins) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really didn't get what i thought i would out of this book. It just seems like something is missing. I wanted more information. How much was spent, what the steps to starting this journey look like amongst other things. Instead we get a life story of someone who was never single for long until she was... the latter part of the book when she talks of her daughter was nice. However it doesn't give you alot of information on the process. In fact i'm more confused.
But also, this isn't realistic, to the point where the author has alot of help, a job where she can work 2 or 4 days a week if she chooses, a lot of friends around and for most, that isn't possible. I'm pretty sure most solo mothers will end up working full time again within the designated maternity leave.

Now not even sure what i'm expected think.

[Anke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about being and becoming a single mother.

[KJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not really a bio type person, there just not the kinda books I gravitate towards. However this one was recommend to me while I was on my own fertility journey awhile back. Finally got around to reading it and I was unexpectedly blown away by some of the similarities and emotions of the authors journey and my own.

I can not say I relate to everything in this book, but every now and again, I'd read a paragraph that completely submerged me in my past emotions, thoughts and experiences. I found myself crying quite a bit. I would recommend this read to anyone thinking about this topic.

[Lucy Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

You didn't think I'd be capable of only reading one book on a topic like this and calling it a day? This was another insightful perspective on solo pregnancy and parenting although it is starting to feel like you have to have close family and a lot of money to make it work (not the author's fault - I'm delighted for her!)

[Melissa Kidd · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't get out of this book as much as I did with 'Knock Yourself Up". Where that was more informative, full with interviews and conversational Q&As, this was more of a memoir. It was entertaining to read about Roberts journey and I could relate to some of her personality, but overall the part of the book I loved the most was the last third, after her daughter was born. Everything up to that point wasn't new for me (already, this early into my foray into this subject of books) and less relatable journey-wise. Robert's also lived in the UK, so some of the information differed slightly than the ways I've been researching. Ultimately though, I enjoyed reading about another woman's success and love for her donor-conceived daughter.

[Annzzz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written social reference

I really enjoyed this read - very balanced look at the sociology of relationships and parenthood - I am a solo mum also and this would not been a perfect book to read whilst I was considering it -as soon as my daughter is old enough explore the themes I would love her to read it. For anyone that wants to understand the true nature of solo parents from any prospective, and not just as a prospective parent, it's a must read - It would of been great to give to my mum as she got her head around the concept -even 9 years ago positive UK social references where hard to come by and always good to find a well written one.

[Jennifer Peacock · Rating 2 out of 5]

I could not relate to the author at all. The book was not informative and was not remotely reflective of the average solo mom’s experiences. She had tons of time for maternity leave, tons of family/friends to help with childcare, flexible 2-4 day work weeks, etc. Her life is extremely charmed and not relatable. Additionally, the book was very superficial. I would’ve appreciated a deeper dive into her psyche to explore the issues that led her to be able to initiate relationships but not maintain them. I would’ve appreciated more focus on Astrid rather than random men. The writing style was simply juvenile.

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

[3.5] This is basically the author's memoir of her experience. Some reviews on here talk about information missing, but this is not meant to be a guide. I really enjoyed the first half of the book where she tells us about her past relationships and experiences that led her to make the decision to become a single mother. I really enjoyed when she tells us about her pregnancy and giving birth. However the second half of the book felt like it dragged a lot. It was mostly about others and now much about her. The ending of the memoir also felt rushed to me. All in all, this was a good read but can be skipped.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book provides some interesting discussion around themes that I had already considered. From this perspective there were few new insights for me. Regardless, it was still interesting to hear about how these themes (stigma, ethical dilemmas, living an unconventional life) play out in the real world. This is probably a good starting point for people who have not had an opportunity to ponder the pros and cons of this style of parenting.

[Gill A Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book because I read the extract last year and now my daughter is going to try to become a mother in the same way. The book was so open, warm and informative. It's not fluffy but is is realistic and honest about her incredible journey. She tells it how I'm sure it is. We are heartened by her words.

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfectly Done

Starting the process of IUI to have a child of my own because clearly "having a man" isn't happening in time, this book put so many of my feelings and thoughts into cohesive words.

[V. Vincent · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book! I recently made the decision to pursue the SMBC pathway, and my nature is to read and learn everything I can about the experience. I appreciate the author being so authentic in sharing her life experiences and though process as she made this amazing decision.

[Rachael Mills · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very easy to read and informative. UK-centric books are scarce on this subject so I'm glad the author decided to detail her journey. With it being from the POV of one woman, it's more applicable to middle-class, healthy, white women.

[Louisa Hollingsworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and highlights so many issues people face today - a great read!

[Julia Mary Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for those exploring the idea of using a donor and going at parent hood all on your own.

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a great mix of information and anecdotes. I appreciated the wide variety of different mother's attitudes.

[Alana Bleness · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book provided me with some necessary information. While I have very little in common with the author, I'm grateful she shared her experiences.

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into the library 14 weeks pregnant, looking for exactly this book. I never expected to find so exactly what I was looking for.

Genevieve Roberts outlines her journey from early adulthood and the seeming ease she had with relationships to late 30s when they had faded away and she made the choice to go it alone.

Although I could not identify with the exact path to her decision as it was a different life story and path to my own, I absolutely could identify with the thought processes, the anxieties, the decisions and the judgements that go along with this decision.

I found this book to be engaging, interesting and more specifically exactly what I was looking for. I actually would give it 4 and a half stars but Good Reads does not allow me to do half stars. It loses its half a star for the differences between her country UK and mine (New Zealand) but that is absolutely not the fault of the author. It was relateable, easy to read and informative, certainly for anyone thinking about parenting this way. I think it would even be interesting for those not taking this path themselves but wanting to learn about different viewpoints and paths to parenthood.

I can't wait to meet my own daughter next year. Thank you Genevieve for this gem of a book. I got it out from the library but think I will buy my own copy to own.

[Delise Torres · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book while doing research for a novel I'm writing. I appreciated not only the author's journey but also her discussions with other parents and experts about the topics of fertility, donor insemination, IVF, and being a single mother. I definitely recommend this book to anyone interested in these topics.