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Stop Calling Me Beautiful: Finding Soul-Deep Strength in a Skin-Deep World
"You're a beautiful daughter of the Most High King." And it's true. But it's not the whole truth. The beauty of being God's daughter has backstory.
If you're tired of hearing the watered-down Christian teaching and hungry for a deeper spiritual life—one that gives real answers to your hardest questions—Stop Calling Me Beautiful teaches you how. You will learn
how to pursue the truths of who God is and who you are in relationship to Him
how to study Scripture, and how your view of God determines how you face life's challenges how legalism, shallow theology, and false teaching keep you from living boldly as a woman of the Word how to experience God's presence in painful circumstances Jesus doesn't offer a powerless salvation. He makes your brokenness part of His whole redemption story—if you allow Him to. Don't settle for a feel-good faith. If you want victory over insecurity, fear, shame, and the circumstances you are facing, it's time to embrace Jesus. All of Him.
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2020
258 people are currently reading
5846 people want to read
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January 26, 2023
First sentence: I attended my first Bible study when I was 16 years old. I came into the house clutching my copy of Beth Moore’s Believing God and spent the next sixteen weeknights glued to my pastor’s TV screen.
I have a confession to make. I may do a decent job of not judging a book by its cover. Most of the time. But. When it comes to christian books--especially nonfiction books--I tend to judge a book by its publisher. Stop Calling Me Beautiful is published by Harvest House. Yet the description of this one sounded GREAT. Like the author and I would get along well. For she too opposes "pink fluff" theology written by women, for women, that consists of little real substance.
She addresses three problems that she sees in typical women's ministries: 1) Christian women are being taught a message that is theologically deficient. Modern women’s ministry’s framework for presenting and understanding God contains pieces of truth, but these pieces do not present an accurate picture of God and the gospel. 2) The message we’re hearing is self-focused. Flawed theology always turns attention away from God and onto ourselves, and that’s exactly what has happened with women’s ministry today. 3) The message is superficial, watered-down.
She concludes, "Theological education—learning about God, the Bible, and how these truths apply to life—is not just for men or for those called to ministry. Women must be spiritually equipped with the knowledge of God through His Word so they can minister to the people around them...The true gospel is available to all of us through God’s Word. We must learn to study it. We must know it well enough to rightly divide the truth and check teachings against the Word of God as the Bereans did (Acts 17:11). In other words, we must cultivate a holy curiosity." I couldn't agree with her more!
The book doesn't focus, however, on how everyone else is doing it wrong. Far from it. Most of the book serves either as a first introduction or a refresher course on the Christian faith, on how to live the life and walk the walk daily.
I found myself highlighting passage after passage. I guess you could say I was nodding my head and going, YES.
Here are some of my favorites:
I have a confession to make. I may do a decent job of not judging a book by its cover. Most of the time. But. When it comes to christian books--especially nonfiction books--I tend to judge a book by its publisher. Stop Calling Me Beautiful is published by Harvest House. Yet the description of this one sounded GREAT. Like the author and I would get along well. For she too opposes "pink fluff" theology written by women, for women, that consists of little real substance.
She addresses three problems that she sees in typical women's ministries: 1) Christian women are being taught a message that is theologically deficient. Modern women’s ministry’s framework for presenting and understanding God contains pieces of truth, but these pieces do not present an accurate picture of God and the gospel. 2) The message we’re hearing is self-focused. Flawed theology always turns attention away from God and onto ourselves, and that’s exactly what has happened with women’s ministry today. 3) The message is superficial, watered-down.
She concludes, "Theological education—learning about God, the Bible, and how these truths apply to life—is not just for men or for those called to ministry. Women must be spiritually equipped with the knowledge of God through His Word so they can minister to the people around them...The true gospel is available to all of us through God’s Word. We must learn to study it. We must know it well enough to rightly divide the truth and check teachings against the Word of God as the Bereans did (Acts 17:11). In other words, we must cultivate a holy curiosity." I couldn't agree with her more!
The book doesn't focus, however, on how everyone else is doing it wrong. Far from it. Most of the book serves either as a first introduction or a refresher course on the Christian faith, on how to live the life and walk the walk daily.
I found myself highlighting passage after passage. I guess you could say I was nodding my head and going, YES.
Here are some of my favorites:
Desire and delight become an endless circle in the presence of the living God.
Our self-discovery is not God’s goal. We are meant to know God and make Him known. This is the great adventure for which our hearts long!
We need the full gospel—the gospel that began in Genesis and runs to Revelation like a “scarlet thread”, a continual story written in blood—in order to find a deeper spiritual life in this shallow world. Finding this life is not easy. It takes diligence. But diligence is what a student of any kind must cultivate in order to gain knowledge. And that’s what we, as believers, need to do.
We can’t draw near if we don’t open our Bibles and read them ourselves, if we don’t put ourselves into godly community, and if we don’t receive discipleship and accountability. We live abundantly when we regularly expose ourselves to the work and Spirit of God. When we do, the things that used to bore us take on the color of abundant life.
The goal of time with God is worship of God.
God is the most valuable, worthy person we will ever know. Yet we often attribute more worth and value to sleep, social media, and friends than we do to Him. Our worship is naturally revealed through our daily habits and behaviors. The things we think, say, read, watch, and do reveal what we’re worshipping.
There is no quick fix for a soul-deep struggle. Though it’s not easy and certainly not quick, Jesus never makes a promise He won’t bring to fruition.
You don’t have to like your circumstances to depend on God in the midst of them.
You can’t love someone and condemn them at the same time!
We think in terms of the big picture, but our lives are actually lived in the mundane moments, and our legacy is less about the world at large and more about our immediate communities. But here’s the kicker: We can’t impact our communities if we’re constantly playing whack-a-mole with our sinfulness. And we can’t overcome our sinfulness—or the difficulties of this world—apart from Jesus. To truly make a difference in the world, we have to know the Creator and Redeemer of the world on an intimate level. We have to be women of spiritual depth.
March 11, 2020
Hi, yes it's only been two months and I've read this book again. I had to read my own copy. I will review this one soon!
5 stars. I loved this. This book isn't out yet and I've been hyping it up to everyone. Review to come! (Yes, I even pre-ordered my own copy.)
5 stars. I loved this. This book isn't out yet and I've been hyping it up to everyone. Review to come! (Yes, I even pre-ordered my own copy.)
March 17, 2020
One of my favorite books I’ve read all year! The chapters on anxiety, grief, and fearing man in particular had a big impact on me. Thank you Phylicia!
July 20, 2021
I give this book somewhere between 2-3 stars for a couple of reasons
1) The title is misleading. You think it’s going to be a fair amount about giving women meat of the Word or issues with the current way of doing things. Instead, it’s about that a little, and then it’s mostly about how God’s word met her in her particular struggles. Maybe it’s what she wished someone would have said or encouraged her to do. If you share her struggles, it may be encouraging to you.
2) She is more creative in her interpretation of scripture in some places than I’m comfortable with. Sometimes she acknowledges that, and sometimes she goes further with what could be a possible interpretation as it is the actual interpretation.
It’s not bad, just very much not what I was expecting from the title.
1) The title is misleading. You think it’s going to be a fair amount about giving women meat of the Word or issues with the current way of doing things. Instead, it’s about that a little, and then it’s mostly about how God’s word met her in her particular struggles. Maybe it’s what she wished someone would have said or encouraged her to do. If you share her struggles, it may be encouraging to you.
2) She is more creative in her interpretation of scripture in some places than I’m comfortable with. Sometimes she acknowledges that, and sometimes she goes further with what could be a possible interpretation as it is the actual interpretation.
It’s not bad, just very much not what I was expecting from the title.
February 4, 2022
I've been following Phylicia online for years now, but what she has been talking about recently, especially about discernment and the Holy Spirit, have really helped me grow in my faith journey and walk with the Lord. I went to Verity Conference the first year (when it was Driven Women) and I read Safe to Feel, which also helped me a lot.
I was very excited to learn that Netgalley had her forthcoming book available and I was thankful to be approved. This book pulls all her main topics and talks into concise formats. I really felt like she was corralling things that were discussed over many days on Instagram Stories or many posts and pulling them together in a summary. I liked that because when a discussion happens over time, you can have a hard time formulating thoughts and opinions on what to do with the information. Now, we have it in a solid chapter.
Each chapter ends with points for consideration and action. Phylicia's goal is to help you change. She does not want you to read her book, nod your head in agreement, and then continue on the way you were going. No. She wants you to experience freedom.
In pursuit of that goal, she talks CONSTANTLY about being in the Word, listening to the Spirit, and letting Him lead. Almost to the point of becoming a broken record, but it's not because so few people are talking like this. Everything Phylicia does is to point you back to the Scriptures and push you back towards your Father.
This is an excellent book for women who are tired of what is traditionally offered and available to women. I even think it would be good for teens so that they can get started on the right path instead of having to correct later in life.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for a copy. A favorable review was not required. All opinions are my own.
I was very excited to learn that Netgalley had her forthcoming book available and I was thankful to be approved. This book pulls all her main topics and talks into concise formats. I really felt like she was corralling things that were discussed over many days on Instagram Stories or many posts and pulling them together in a summary. I liked that because when a discussion happens over time, you can have a hard time formulating thoughts and opinions on what to do with the information. Now, we have it in a solid chapter.
Each chapter ends with points for consideration and action. Phylicia's goal is to help you change. She does not want you to read her book, nod your head in agreement, and then continue on the way you were going. No. She wants you to experience freedom.
In pursuit of that goal, she talks CONSTANTLY about being in the Word, listening to the Spirit, and letting Him lead. Almost to the point of becoming a broken record, but it's not because so few people are talking like this. Everything Phylicia does is to point you back to the Scriptures and push you back towards your Father.
This is an excellent book for women who are tired of what is traditionally offered and available to women. I even think it would be good for teens so that they can get started on the right path instead of having to correct later in life.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for a copy. A favorable review was not required. All opinions are my own.
February 4, 2020
Stop Calling Me Beautiful is a strong, clear call for Christian women who long for a deeper, richer life and yet find themselves caught up in a feel-good, self-help, image-obsessed culture. So for those of you who sense something is missing -- and want to be so much more than beautiful -- get ready to powerfully experience the thriving, transforming faith God intends for you. I highly recommend Phylicia's breakout message for today's Christian woman.
May 17, 2020
This is the best book I've read all year!
January 29, 2020
I love the concept behind this book. It's one I first heard from Jen Wilkins and one I support wholeheartedly: let's offer more than just "milk" theology to women who are able to handle solid food.
Now maybe I used a more stringent statement standard while reviewing this book because of the author's claim that too many books for women are really just watered-down sermons, but I really wanted more.
In many ways this book felt like a series of disconnected ideas that were kind of smushed together in this book. While there were some interesting lessons, I felt as though the author did what she accused other writers of doing: hinting at something greater without telling us how to do it.
The greatest piece of irony for me was found in the chapter on overcoming legalism. It was in this quote which I really hope will be corrected before publication:
The scribes and Pharisees took God’s broad principle— the command to set aside the first day of the week to honor the Lord— and made it a heavy, legalistic burden.
There is no commandment to set aside the first day of the week to honor God. All biblical occurrences of this commandment refer to the Sabbath as the seventh day of the week.
Know God--Ms. Masonheimer makes a good point, we should be reading the Bible to learn more about the God who wrote it. Only when we know him will we give him the honor and glory due to his name.
Know yourself--if we are to have a more intimate relationship with God, we have to be aware of the state our present relationship is in. Only then will we know that change is needed.
Run your race--it's great to attend Bible study and conferences to learn more about God but ultimately each person needs to put in the work to know more about God.
One thing I have taken away from this book is that when reading the Bible, I always look for an attribute of God and what the passage teaches about him. I received an advanced readers copy from NetGalley; a positive review was not required.
Now maybe I used a more stringent statement standard while reviewing this book because of the author's claim that too many books for women are really just watered-down sermons, but I really wanted more.
In many ways this book felt like a series of disconnected ideas that were kind of smushed together in this book. While there were some interesting lessons, I felt as though the author did what she accused other writers of doing: hinting at something greater without telling us how to do it.
The greatest piece of irony for me was found in the chapter on overcoming legalism. It was in this quote which I really hope will be corrected before publication:
The scribes and Pharisees took God’s broad principle— the command to set aside the first day of the week to honor the Lord— and made it a heavy, legalistic burden.
There is no commandment to set aside the first day of the week to honor God. All biblical occurrences of this commandment refer to the Sabbath as the seventh day of the week.
Know God--Ms. Masonheimer makes a good point, we should be reading the Bible to learn more about the God who wrote it. Only when we know him will we give him the honor and glory due to his name.
Know yourself--if we are to have a more intimate relationship with God, we have to be aware of the state our present relationship is in. Only then will we know that change is needed.
Run your race--it's great to attend Bible study and conferences to learn more about God but ultimately each person needs to put in the work to know more about God.
One thing I have taken away from this book is that when reading the Bible, I always look for an attribute of God and what the passage teaches about him. I received an advanced readers copy from NetGalley; a positive review was not required.
February 1, 2025
I cannot recommend this book highly enough! Easily a top 2025 read.
Phylicia cuts through the “pink fluff” of Christian women’s theology of pretty Instagram posts and aesthetic morning devotions and gives us Jesus.
And her chapter on the woman at the well? I sobbed as she explained it in a light I’ve never heard before that made Jesus’ compassion even more beautiful!
Phylicia cuts through the “pink fluff” of Christian women’s theology of pretty Instagram posts and aesthetic morning devotions and gives us Jesus.
And her chapter on the woman at the well? I sobbed as she explained it in a light I’ve never heard before that made Jesus’ compassion even more beautiful!
December 16, 2022
Highly highly recommend for all Christian high school and college women!!!
September 3, 2023
The premise of the book, Stop Calling Me Beautiful, is that we as women need more than simply the message that we are beautiful and have worth when we gather for Bible studies and conferences. We need more than the shallow beauty message because that message does not bring us to know God Himself, does not go to the root of our needs and issues, and cannot bring lasting freedom and victory.
Women need more than pretty framed pictures of Bible verses and reminders that we are beautiful. Instead we need a message that helps us cultivate our relationship with God. We need to learn how to properly read and understand God's Word and apply it to our lives in the context it was written.
This is a needed message in the Body of Christ because the messages we often hear instead focus on us more than on God. Feel-good and self-help "sermons" abound in our modern age, but without Jesus they are empty and without power.
Stop Calling Me Beautiful covers various issues women face, showing readers how to seek victory in these areas through knowing Christ and His truth. Issues covered: legalism, anxiety/overwhelm, grief, broken sexuality, cultivating community, fear of man and shame.
These topics will benefit any reader. That said, the book highlights the importance of getting to know God for Himself versus reading His Word to find personal insights, answers we need, freedom and peace, etc. It is in seeking to know God rather than seeking for ourselves that we come to experience the vibrant spiritual life God intended.
(UPDATE, 02/09/2023:
Having come to understand the issues of the Enneagram and the focus of messages from those like Brene Brown which I was reminded are mentioned in this book, I can no longer fully recommend this book without caveats because of this.)
A few quotes from the book:
"God wants us to experience Him. But experiencing God doesn't begin with emotion. It begins with desire, and it is accomplished by diligence."
"Apart from Christ, we are not beautiful, pure, or acceptable because all humankind possesses a fallen nature. Though God originally created humans as perfect creatures, humankind's sinful choice makes our purity impossible without Jesus... in order to become like Jesus, we must diligently seek Jesus."
"We don't go deeper with God by reflecting more on ourselves, or even by reading God's Word to look for insight about ourselves. Roots of spiritual growth develop as we seek God for who He is and allow Him to do the transforming work in our hearts that we can never do on our own."
(A copy of this book was provided to me by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.)
Women need more than pretty framed pictures of Bible verses and reminders that we are beautiful. Instead we need a message that helps us cultivate our relationship with God. We need to learn how to properly read and understand God's Word and apply it to our lives in the context it was written.
This is a needed message in the Body of Christ because the messages we often hear instead focus on us more than on God. Feel-good and self-help "sermons" abound in our modern age, but without Jesus they are empty and without power.
Stop Calling Me Beautiful covers various issues women face, showing readers how to seek victory in these areas through knowing Christ and His truth. Issues covered: legalism, anxiety/overwhelm, grief, broken sexuality, cultivating community, fear of man and shame.
These topics will benefit any reader. That said, the book highlights the importance of getting to know God for Himself versus reading His Word to find personal insights, answers we need, freedom and peace, etc. It is in seeking to know God rather than seeking for ourselves that we come to experience the vibrant spiritual life God intended.
(UPDATE, 02/09/2023:
Having come to understand the issues of the Enneagram and the focus of messages from those like Brene Brown which I was reminded are mentioned in this book, I can no longer fully recommend this book without caveats because of this.)
A few quotes from the book:
"God wants us to experience Him. But experiencing God doesn't begin with emotion. It begins with desire, and it is accomplished by diligence."
"Apart from Christ, we are not beautiful, pure, or acceptable because all humankind possesses a fallen nature. Though God originally created humans as perfect creatures, humankind's sinful choice makes our purity impossible without Jesus... in order to become like Jesus, we must diligently seek Jesus."
"We don't go deeper with God by reflecting more on ourselves, or even by reading God's Word to look for insight about ourselves. Roots of spiritual growth develop as we seek God for who He is and allow Him to do the transforming work in our hearts that we can never do on our own."
(A copy of this book was provided to me by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.)
February 23, 2020
Out of the nine current reads I have going on 🥴 I managed to fly through this one in the matter of a few mornings.
Phylicia answered to the wanting echoes between each pink fluff Christian women’s book and delivered the tools to help you prepare a feast.
A key difference in her message both on Instagram and her book is that she doesn’t tell you what to think. She won’t give you a hundred resources and claim those will all change your life. In a world where planners and checklists are the ultimate accessory to feeling accomplished, she continually reroutes every thing to Jesus. To the Word.
At first, when I began following her, I was honestly frustrated. “Where’s the best commentary? Why won’t she tell me where to go?! I need to know more like she does!” It isn’t about the best commentary, or the plethora of amazing Christian or theological books. It is fundamentally about cultivating a rich relationship with God and developing a firm understanding that will grow each day as we act on our gratitude for His grace and love.
Essentially this book is counter culture in the best of ways. It simplifies the market for the thirsty soul: you don’t need matcha or health shakes, you need living water.
Unexpectedly found my soul convicted and pierced, and I didn’t appreciate that, Phylicia 😆 Kidding. I didn’t anticipate that and I very much appreciated that she didn’t drone on. The book was concise and for that, a hearty meal delivered. Thank you.
Phylicia answered to the wanting echoes between each pink fluff Christian women’s book and delivered the tools to help you prepare a feast.
A key difference in her message both on Instagram and her book is that she doesn’t tell you what to think. She won’t give you a hundred resources and claim those will all change your life. In a world where planners and checklists are the ultimate accessory to feeling accomplished, she continually reroutes every thing to Jesus. To the Word.
At first, when I began following her, I was honestly frustrated. “Where’s the best commentary? Why won’t she tell me where to go?! I need to know more like she does!” It isn’t about the best commentary, or the plethora of amazing Christian or theological books. It is fundamentally about cultivating a rich relationship with God and developing a firm understanding that will grow each day as we act on our gratitude for His grace and love.
Essentially this book is counter culture in the best of ways. It simplifies the market for the thirsty soul: you don’t need matcha or health shakes, you need living water.
Unexpectedly found my soul convicted and pierced, and I didn’t appreciate that, Phylicia 😆 Kidding. I didn’t anticipate that and I very much appreciated that she didn’t drone on. The book was concise and for that, a hearty meal delivered. Thank you.
October 17, 2024
Gooood. Nothing amazing but I do always love some Phylicia Masonheimer. Mostly a solid reminder of the true freedom we have in Christ, and more fuel for my “women’s ministry needs waaaay less fluffy pink calligraphy mama era programming and way more solid teaching, study, and discipleship” fire 🙃
August 18, 2021
I found this book to be helpful, challenging, and everything that is missing from typical Christian ministry books for women.
It's the antithesis of "Girl, Wash Your Face," and hallelujah for that!
Christianity is more than skin deep, more than social media posts, more than daily devotionals, more than showing up on Sunday, so MUCH MORE! And, much of women's Christian ministry stuff is platitudes and shallow catch phrases. This book isn't that! The author will challenge you to let go of shallow Christianity and WORK for a deep, abiding relationship with God, one that takes sacrifice, prayer, and in depth Biblical study.
I didn't 100% agree with her approach to getting rid of the shame of sin that can weigh us down as we move forward. Her solution was to share her struggles with the world in a public blog post and in her published book. I don't think the Bible says you must confess to the world. However, confession is found in its pages and vital for moving forward from the shame and setting up proper accountability.
I'll probably buy this this book, and I'll definitely read it again!
It's the antithesis of "Girl, Wash Your Face," and hallelujah for that!
Christianity is more than skin deep, more than social media posts, more than daily devotionals, more than showing up on Sunday, so MUCH MORE! And, much of women's Christian ministry stuff is platitudes and shallow catch phrases. This book isn't that! The author will challenge you to let go of shallow Christianity and WORK for a deep, abiding relationship with God, one that takes sacrifice, prayer, and in depth Biblical study.
I didn't 100% agree with her approach to getting rid of the shame of sin that can weigh us down as we move forward. Her solution was to share her struggles with the world in a public blog post and in her published book. I don't think the Bible says you must confess to the world. However, confession is found in its pages and vital for moving forward from the shame and setting up proper accountability.
I'll probably buy this this book, and I'll definitely read it again!
April 16, 2020
The title grabbed me and I was excited for some depth in our shallow social media world, but I was disappointed. I couldn’t finish it; from the title I was expecting something to create revival, but it was all stuff I feel I had heard before. The content wasn’t bad or incorrect, but it didn’t grab me.
July 22, 2023
Wow, this book is such a good read! There is so much within these pages that I resonate with. She covers the needs for depth in Bible study but at the same time, not making Bible time a checklist. There are chapters on legalism, anxiety, grief, s*xual struggles, community, the fear of man, shame, and sharing the Gospel.
There is so much grace in this book as well as practical applications that can be done “today.” This would be a great book for women’s groups to go through.
I had a lot of favorite quotes, but here are just a few…
“When we live under condemnation, we naturally condemn others. But when we live under grace, we are quick to offer compassion. We celebrate those growing in faith alongside us, not comparing how they work out their salvation to how we’re working out ours.“
“Fear of man doesn’t allow for biblical confrontation, because the utmost concern is control, not reconciliation.”
“You know a funny thing about fruit? You can’t force it to grow. It just happens when the tree is healthy. This is what Jesus was getting at in John 15: ‘Abide in me [the Vine]…that you bear much fruit.’ Do we want to be loving? Abide in Him. Do we want joy? Abide in Him. Do we want peace? Abide in Him.”
There is so much grace in this book as well as practical applications that can be done “today.” This would be a great book for women’s groups to go through.
I had a lot of favorite quotes, but here are just a few…
“When we live under condemnation, we naturally condemn others. But when we live under grace, we are quick to offer compassion. We celebrate those growing in faith alongside us, not comparing how they work out their salvation to how we’re working out ours.“
“Fear of man doesn’t allow for biblical confrontation, because the utmost concern is control, not reconciliation.”
“You know a funny thing about fruit? You can’t force it to grow. It just happens when the tree is healthy. This is what Jesus was getting at in John 15: ‘Abide in me [the Vine]…that you bear much fruit.’ Do we want to be loving? Abide in Him. Do we want joy? Abide in Him. Do we want peace? Abide in Him.”
June 4, 2024
A great read on the life transforming power of the Gospel in our lives as women. A welcome contrast to the often weak messages of women’s books and ministry.
March 7, 2020
This book was very good. I'm looking forward to reading it again and taking time to think deeper going through chapter at a time. She covers hugely relevant topics for Christian ladies in an engaging way with great wisdom.
January 3, 2023
i really loved the premise and main thesis of this book: the Christian teaching women are receiving (namely, in evangelical churches) offers “fluffy” shallow theology divorced from the depths of the Word and church history. as a result, Christian women lack the spiritual substance and discipleship tools required for a rich, vibrant faith. i agree with this fully! but here, i found the author (whose online presence and blogposts i do really enjoy!) actually did what she ‘accuses’ other women’s ministries of doing…to be frank, the book was a bit fluffy! the themes explored were interesting, but they seemed randomly assorted and lacked a common thread. this made for a rather surface-level (albeit approachable) response to such an interesting thesis. i also found her tone unnecessarily negative. although i can appreciate her deep concern about lack of biblical literacy today, and her earnest passion for robust theological training…it was a bit distracting. as a whole, it was a pleasant read and i can see its importance—but it skimmed ideas i wish were fleshed out more!
February 4, 2021
I have been following Phylicia on instagram for years and have always been encouraged and challenged by her. she inspired me to go deeper with my Bible study; to go beyond the aesthetically pleasing snapshots of shallow faith you often see on social media.
being one of those young women pulled in by the aesthetic of Christianity and the feel-good messages in my late teen years, this book intrigued me when she first announced it. I have read bits and pieces of the content before having followed her for so long, but I still loved to see her expand on what can usually only be covered by one or two paragraphs in an instagram caption. the chapters are short but rich in content and covers each topic of said chapter so well for being only 15 or so pages.
I highly recommend this book to any woman who wants to dive deeper in her walk with the Lord.🤗
being one of those young women pulled in by the aesthetic of Christianity and the feel-good messages in my late teen years, this book intrigued me when she first announced it. I have read bits and pieces of the content before having followed her for so long, but I still loved to see her expand on what can usually only be covered by one or two paragraphs in an instagram caption. the chapters are short but rich in content and covers each topic of said chapter so well for being only 15 or so pages.
I highly recommend this book to any woman who wants to dive deeper in her walk with the Lord.🤗
June 24, 2023
I’m impressed by the way Phylicia is able to introduce and articulate complex theological topics/terminology in a way that is easy to follow & understand.
I would recommend this book to high school girls, new believers, or women who are looking to grow in their faith but don’t know where to start.
I’d bundle with : Captivating, She Reads Truth, and I Don’t Wait Anymore.
I would recommend this book to high school girls, new believers, or women who are looking to grow in their faith but don’t know where to start.
I’d bundle with : Captivating, She Reads Truth, and I Don’t Wait Anymore.
October 26, 2023
I do not hand out 5 stars liberally. And here we are.
August 21, 2020
Excellent and important read for Christian women (and all women).
June 8, 2022
Based on the title I really wanted to like this book!
But honestly it didn't have much to do with the title.
She starts strong with the premise that most women's ministries are shallow and just talk about being beautiful daughters of the King. But the rest of the book is just a shallow, often self-righteous overview of Christian principles. It would be better titled: why community and time with the Lord are worth it.
I felt like there were tons of competing and sometimes conflicting concepts, and that she wanted to be inflammatory like Allie Beth Stuckey and say "no, you're not good enough and that's the point" but then spent most of her time talking about how we *are* good enough in Christ and we're overcomers. Some of the arguments for things (even things I already believe in...) were less than convincing and more of just spouting what evangelicals typically say.
I was really disappointed by the chapters on anxiety. While I know there is a difference between anxious thoughts and clinical anxiety. I wish she would have given more of a distinction. The chapters had a very "pray harder and you won't have anxiety" feel, and ended with a "and if that doesn't work some people might need a counselor." Yikes. I also was sad that it seemed like using God as a genie to get what you want; Anxiety + Jesus = no anxiety..when we know that's not the case. He doesn't promise the removal of our hardships but he does promise to be with us.
I think the chapters on singleness and female sexual "sin" left similar bad tastes in my mouth. I got my hopes up being excited that someone was going to talk about those things only to end thinking that the mark had been missed.
Overall I think I agree with most of what she had to say, I just don't think it's a great book on women's ministry, but would be better suited as a blog post on why spending time with God and in community matters.
But honestly it didn't have much to do with the title.
She starts strong with the premise that most women's ministries are shallow and just talk about being beautiful daughters of the King. But the rest of the book is just a shallow, often self-righteous overview of Christian principles. It would be better titled: why community and time with the Lord are worth it.
I felt like there were tons of competing and sometimes conflicting concepts, and that she wanted to be inflammatory like Allie Beth Stuckey and say "no, you're not good enough and that's the point" but then spent most of her time talking about how we *are* good enough in Christ and we're overcomers. Some of the arguments for things (even things I already believe in...) were less than convincing and more of just spouting what evangelicals typically say.
I was really disappointed by the chapters on anxiety. While I know there is a difference between anxious thoughts and clinical anxiety. I wish she would have given more of a distinction. The chapters had a very "pray harder and you won't have anxiety" feel, and ended with a "and if that doesn't work some people might need a counselor." Yikes. I also was sad that it seemed like using God as a genie to get what you want; Anxiety + Jesus = no anxiety..when we know that's not the case. He doesn't promise the removal of our hardships but he does promise to be with us.
I think the chapters on singleness and female sexual "sin" left similar bad tastes in my mouth. I got my hopes up being excited that someone was going to talk about those things only to end thinking that the mark had been missed.
Overall I think I agree with most of what she had to say, I just don't think it's a great book on women's ministry, but would be better suited as a blog post on why spending time with God and in community matters.
August 30, 2022
The title and subtitle made the book sound meatier than it was when I signed up for a group that was studying it. The author seems confident that her ministry is deeper than other women's ministries out there, which are all "pink fluff." Granted there's too much of that, but she seems to think that she alone has more to offer.
The chapters on grief and on community were well done. The one on legalism was pretty good too,but elsewhere in the book the author comes across as a little legalistic herself.
Much of the book is devoted to the author's past addiction to pornography and masturbation. There's nothing wrong with being frank and vulnerable about that. It's her story and she wants to help others who are burdened by shame over the same issues. But sometimes it seemed to me like the same old preoccupation with sexual sin (or presumed sin) as more grievous than any others.
It was the chapter on anxiety that I found most problematic. It's based on her personal experience with anxiety during some stressful seasons of her life, and how she found help through prayer, scripture and spiritual disciplines. I do believe all the scriptural passages and promises she references, but she seems to think that her experiences qualify her to advise any and all women who struggle with anxiety. For those who've experienced real trauma and loss, it may seem presumptuous and thin. She seems unaware that some people have anxiety disorders that are best treated as medical, not spiritual issues. Her strictly spiritual approach could be discouraging or even damaging.
The chapters on grief and on community were well done. The one on legalism was pretty good too,but elsewhere in the book the author comes across as a little legalistic herself.
Much of the book is devoted to the author's past addiction to pornography and masturbation. There's nothing wrong with being frank and vulnerable about that. It's her story and she wants to help others who are burdened by shame over the same issues. But sometimes it seemed to me like the same old preoccupation with sexual sin (or presumed sin) as more grievous than any others.
It was the chapter on anxiety that I found most problematic. It's based on her personal experience with anxiety during some stressful seasons of her life, and how she found help through prayer, scripture and spiritual disciplines. I do believe all the scriptural passages and promises she references, but she seems to think that her experiences qualify her to advise any and all women who struggle with anxiety. For those who've experienced real trauma and loss, it may seem presumptuous and thin. She seems unaware that some people have anxiety disorders that are best treated as medical, not spiritual issues. Her strictly spiritual approach could be discouraging or even damaging.
February 16, 2021
Easily one of the best books I've read about the gospel and studying the Bible.
Short, succinct, readable and thorough.
In Part One the author gently but firmly dissects where so many popular women's ministries fall short of presenting a complete gospel to struggling women, and gives the reader the confidence to approach Scripture correctly on their own.
In Part Two she applies gospel truth to many common struggles - anxiety, sexuality, community, fear of man, and more.
Each chapter was deep without drowning the reader in unfamiliar terminology and approachable without dating the content with excessive slang/pop culture references and included study questions to take the material further.
I cannot say enough good about this book! I immediately went to the author's website and signed up for her Theology Basics email course and cannot wait to learn more from her.
Short, succinct, readable and thorough.
In Part One the author gently but firmly dissects where so many popular women's ministries fall short of presenting a complete gospel to struggling women, and gives the reader the confidence to approach Scripture correctly on their own.
In Part Two she applies gospel truth to many common struggles - anxiety, sexuality, community, fear of man, and more.
Each chapter was deep without drowning the reader in unfamiliar terminology and approachable without dating the content with excessive slang/pop culture references and included study questions to take the material further.
I cannot say enough good about this book! I immediately went to the author's website and signed up for her Theology Basics email course and cannot wait to learn more from her.
December 6, 2020
I like Phylicia’s desire to break the mold of theology being a man’s interest. Everyone has a theological viewpoint, but since theology is chiefly in the man’s world, women’s theology is often pretty shallow and honestly, laughable at times. Phylicia says our theology is deficient, self-focused, and superficial, and I agree. Women’s ministry has failed us in a lot of ways. We need spiritual depth.
This book is a call to abandon shallow faith and truly seek a deep and vibrant relationship with God. Phylicia teaches, practically, how to dig deep with God and then tackles some common barriers we face in that journey: legalism, anxiety, grief, broken sexuality, isolation, fear of man, and shame.
There’s great truth in this book and I especially appreciated her teaching on legalism.
This book is a call to abandon shallow faith and truly seek a deep and vibrant relationship with God. Phylicia teaches, practically, how to dig deep with God and then tackles some common barriers we face in that journey: legalism, anxiety, grief, broken sexuality, isolation, fear of man, and shame.
There’s great truth in this book and I especially appreciated her teaching on legalism.
December 3, 2022
Phylicia Masonheimer addresses one of the largest problems in women’s ministry today— self-focused, shallow teaching that lacks a depth of theology or curiosity about God. Our culture often idolizes self-worthiness and empty promises of happiness, and it’s unfortunate that the church has adopted so many of those mentalities.
I really enjoyed this book! My only complaint is that she tried to cover a lot of topics in Part 2, which made it feel like multiple rabbit trails. Nonetheless, the content was true to Scripture and well-written, so it still was a worthwhile read that I’d recommend to others — especially those who are trying to break out of shallow Christianity and learn how to approach all of life through the lens of Scripture.
Phylicia always has such helpful and necessary resources, and I enjoy following along with her studies and teachings on social media. Looking forward to reading some of her Every Woman a Theologian booklets!
I really enjoyed this book! My only complaint is that she tried to cover a lot of topics in Part 2, which made it feel like multiple rabbit trails. Nonetheless, the content was true to Scripture and well-written, so it still was a worthwhile read that I’d recommend to others — especially those who are trying to break out of shallow Christianity and learn how to approach all of life through the lens of Scripture.
Phylicia always has such helpful and necessary resources, and I enjoy following along with her studies and teachings on social media. Looking forward to reading some of her Every Woman a Theologian booklets!
June 21, 2021
4.5 There were some sections that didn't quite resonate with me, but there were other sections that I really loved and some that were excellent kicks in the pants.
March 27, 2024
This book is for anyone who recognizes the danger of shallow theology. God is so much bigger than the Christian-speak plastered all over social media. Moms, read this and teach it to your daughters.
“Being told we’re beautiful in God’s eyes is a surface response to a soul-deep problem. That problem is our own sinfulness. Sinfulness isn’t a word we like to attribute to ourselves. It’s uncomfortable and ugly. We’d much rather talk about God’s love for us—and that’s what many female writers and teachers do. But when we ignore the impact of sin on our own natures, we can’t comprehend the greatness of God’s love.”
“Being told we’re beautiful in God’s eyes is a surface response to a soul-deep problem. That problem is our own sinfulness. Sinfulness isn’t a word we like to attribute to ourselves. It’s uncomfortable and ugly. We’d much rather talk about God’s love for us—and that’s what many female writers and teachers do. But when we ignore the impact of sin on our own natures, we can’t comprehend the greatness of God’s love.”
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