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Doubling
I’m not here cutting my heart from my chest and bleeding it out, all of it for the world to see: the good, the bad, the decisions I have made, the terrible choices I chose and the paths I’ve taken for your sympathy.
I’m simply here to tell you a story, a story about a lot of things we as women suffer through, yet somehow find a way out, then rise and slay.
This is a story about love, the type of love that isn’t meant to last forever. It’s the kind of love that burns white hot and fast, but also just as fast as it lit up my life, like a shooting star it just as quickly burned out. And even though you knew this fact in the deepest, darkest corners of your heart—you still fight like a savage bitch to keep a hold of it, cherish it as yours alone…Until the day you realize the threads are snapping from your bloody tired grasp and all you’re left with is what used to be: A life that once was, but can never be again.
This is a fairytale…it’s my fairytale even if it is filled with horror and tragedy, it was once filled with love and admiration unlike anything I’ve ever known.
I have lived, I have loved and been loved in return and this is MY STORY, my journey. But all things beautiful fade, and sadly in my case they fade into a something so ugly and distorted even I was too blind to see the writing on the walls…
Love is something fleeting for me, I’ve accepted this fact.
Why? You may ask…because I’m Kimber S. Dawn, and luck and love are things that have never, nor will ever be on my side. But that doesn’t mean I will ever stop fighting for it.
I’m simply here to tell you a story, a story about a lot of things we as women suffer through, yet somehow find a way out, then rise and slay.
This is a story about love, the type of love that isn’t meant to last forever. It’s the kind of love that burns white hot and fast, but also just as fast as it lit up my life, like a shooting star it just as quickly burned out. And even though you knew this fact in the deepest, darkest corners of your heart—you still fight like a savage bitch to keep a hold of it, cherish it as yours alone…Until the day you realize the threads are snapping from your bloody tired grasp and all you’re left with is what used to be: A life that once was, but can never be again.
This is a fairytale…it’s my fairytale even if it is filled with horror and tragedy, it was once filled with love and admiration unlike anything I’ve ever known.
I have lived, I have loved and been loved in return and this is MY STORY, my journey. But all things beautiful fade, and sadly in my case they fade into a something so ugly and distorted even I was too blind to see the writing on the walls…
Love is something fleeting for me, I’ve accepted this fact.
Why? You may ask…because I’m Kimber S. Dawn, and luck and love are things that have never, nor will ever be on my side. But that doesn’t mean I will ever stop fighting for it.
Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2019
7 people are currently reading
84 people want to read
About the author
Kimber S. Dawn
12 books749 followersWho is Kimber? Shit, sometimes even I don't know, lmao. However, if I can only say one thing for certain about myself, it's this: I'm real, I don't back down from what I believe, I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I don't bite my tongue and I never try to hide the ugly parts of who I am... You either love me or hate me, but if you love me... I'll always be loyal, no fucking matter what ;)
I can be called a billon different things—daughter, wife, mother, Registered nurse. I'm a book blogger, book pimp, and a book whore. My two indulgences in life are my two Jack's: Jack Daniel's and Blackjack.
I was born and raised in Louisiana… and No, I do NOT live in a bayou, I actually see the beaches on the gulf coast more than I see a bayou. I started writing poems and short stories very early in my life. I've been a book hoarder since I was eleven years old, but then a couple years ago something wonderful happened! My inner smut whore came to life and I commenced to read anything and everything smut affiliated. When reading wasn't enough anymore and I noticed that so many of the authors of my favorite genres were indie authors and their books weren't getting the exposure their work deserved, I turned it into a mission, starting my own blog, buying their books and reading them one by one. I then wrote my reviews for my blog and didn't hold back in writing them (Hell yeah those motherfuckers a profanity laden). I've never done a single thing in my life half-ass. I always go all in. After the success of my Blog, I was ready to finally take the plunge and see if I could write a book that was worth a damn. I'm a Southern girl to my core, a self-proclaimed smut whore, and I can't believe I now have over ten books on Amazon, much less that I did it: I’m an author, but honestly… I don’t believe the rumors, lol. I don’t feel like a kickass bitch spittin’ out lyrics, or stories, like a motherfuckin’ rockstar.
Tattooed across my ribs are the words I have always lived by: 'Aut viam inveniam aut faciam tibi.' Latin for: If I cannot find a way, I will make my own.
If you want to contact me, give me a shout out at 3am because my story just decimated your work day potential, or hell if you want to stalk me (I’ve met some of my BFF’s that way, don’t judge a stalker, they are awesome, fun, kickass bitches) follow me on these links:
https://www.instagram.com/kimbers.daw...
www.facebook.com/AuthorKimberSDawn
www.facebook.com/AWGMbyKimberDawn
http://www.pinterest.com/kimmi5181/a-...
I can be called a billon different things—daughter, wife, mother, Registered nurse. I'm a book blogger, book pimp, and a book whore. My two indulgences in life are my two Jack's: Jack Daniel's and Blackjack.
I was born and raised in Louisiana… and No, I do NOT live in a bayou, I actually see the beaches on the gulf coast more than I see a bayou. I started writing poems and short stories very early in my life. I've been a book hoarder since I was eleven years old, but then a couple years ago something wonderful happened! My inner smut whore came to life and I commenced to read anything and everything smut affiliated. When reading wasn't enough anymore and I noticed that so many of the authors of my favorite genres were indie authors and their books weren't getting the exposure their work deserved, I turned it into a mission, starting my own blog, buying their books and reading them one by one. I then wrote my reviews for my blog and didn't hold back in writing them (Hell yeah those motherfuckers a profanity laden). I've never done a single thing in my life half-ass. I always go all in. After the success of my Blog, I was ready to finally take the plunge and see if I could write a book that was worth a damn. I'm a Southern girl to my core, a self-proclaimed smut whore, and I can't believe I now have over ten books on Amazon, much less that I did it: I’m an author, but honestly… I don’t believe the rumors, lol. I don’t feel like a kickass bitch spittin’ out lyrics, or stories, like a motherfuckin’ rockstar.
Tattooed across my ribs are the words I have always lived by: 'Aut viam inveniam aut faciam tibi.' Latin for: If I cannot find a way, I will make my own.
If you want to contact me, give me a shout out at 3am because my story just decimated your work day potential, or hell if you want to stalk me (I’ve met some of my BFF’s that way, don’t judge a stalker, they are awesome, fun, kickass bitches) follow me on these links:
https://www.instagram.com/kimbers.daw...
www.facebook.com/AuthorKimberSDawn
www.facebook.com/AWGMbyKimberDawn
http://www.pinterest.com/kimmi5181/a-...
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
April 21, 2019
The notes at the beginning of this story were so rich and compelling. They really set the tone for the story coming next and had me hooked and ready to read more.
From the start, this book really set forth the struggle and heartbreak of where this story was headed and it had my complete attention. I had a burning need to know how she had gotten to this point.
It was very interesting as I watched her fall for this man so quickly. Knowing her thoughts and feelings was powerful, especially when she learned about his past and responded in the way that she did.
I really enjoyed reading the progression of their relationship and watching them conquer the difficulties that had come upon them.
Being able to see the tiny tears in their perfect life coming on one by one was painful to watch and caused me to worry about what could still happen between them.
As things began to crumble and fall to pieces, I had my heart in my throat.
When they traveled to San Antonio and Kim gained some perspective into Illias's past, it gave me a bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, they could heal one another and truly move forward. I feared that was not how things were going to end though.
There were chapters that left me speechless and one where the bottom completely dropped out for me. It made me ache for everything that happened to her. This book was such an emotional roller coaster ride. It did a fabulous job of making me emotional, whether I was raging angry or brokenhearted. I was along for the entire ride, start to finish.
From the start, this book really set forth the struggle and heartbreak of where this story was headed and it had my complete attention. I had a burning need to know how she had gotten to this point.
It was very interesting as I watched her fall for this man so quickly. Knowing her thoughts and feelings was powerful, especially when she learned about his past and responded in the way that she did.
I really enjoyed reading the progression of their relationship and watching them conquer the difficulties that had come upon them.
Being able to see the tiny tears in their perfect life coming on one by one was painful to watch and caused me to worry about what could still happen between them.
As things began to crumble and fall to pieces, I had my heart in my throat.
When they traveled to San Antonio and Kim gained some perspective into Illias's past, it gave me a bit of hope that maybe, just maybe, they could heal one another and truly move forward. I feared that was not how things were going to end though.
There were chapters that left me speechless and one where the bottom completely dropped out for me. It made me ache for everything that happened to her. This book was such an emotional roller coaster ride. It did a fabulous job of making me emotional, whether I was raging angry or brokenhearted. I was along for the entire ride, start to finish.
October 8, 2019
The harrowing narrative of an Indie Author’s TRUE dark romance, and how she lived to write about it...
If you want to read something *totally* different, change your mindset from the fictional Dark Romance world we as readers normally enjoy, then jump into the TRUE dark romance of someone who writes about them. There is a touching and chilling story of angst, courage, and redemption within Doubling.
Am I biased? Yes—I really know Kim. Full disclosure. I was around during part of the book, and there through every page of the book, making sure she had a hand to hold ( unfortunately on the phone from hundreds of miles away) as she both battled back from Hell, and recounted this sordid TRUE mess that had become her life.
Having fully admitted my bias, I will also admit this is not my normal read, and I’ll say it broke my heart to verbally hear and read, all of the layers and tales from her time with Illias. But I can honestly say, had this been anyone’s true story, written in the exact same way, I would feel the very same emotions from such a heartfelt and horrific story of a love that was at times beautiful but also at times brutal... and just wasn’t meant to last forever.
This person is a fighter. She is an artist. And she’s talented. She is one of those Authors that can make words sound like music, albeit an edgy plot from her twisted mind, or a chilling recount of a chapter in her life.
I respect Kim for everything she has gone through; and especially for what she has written. Her life and entire dark story with Illias is on full display— the good, the bad, & the really bad.. She is not proud of all of the choices and decisions she’s made in her life. But, who is? Kim is a person who lives her life and does the best she can, trying to learn from her mistakes. Just like each of us.
She beat cancer...twice. She did not allow Illias to kill her, or extinguish her loving spirit. Most importantly, Kim is the epitome of a survivor.
Compelling, Raw, & REAL.
Buy Links:
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Doubling-Kimbe...
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doubling-Kim...
Amazon AU: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doubling-Kim...
Amazon CA: https://www.amazon.ca/Doubling-Kimber...
*(THANK YOU KIM, BTW FOR SUCH A THOUGHTFUL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT! I will always be here for you. Ya just had to get some more tears outta me!❤️)*
Some of Kimber S. Dawn’s fictional titles below:
If you want to read something *totally* different, change your mindset from the fictional Dark Romance world we as readers normally enjoy, then jump into the TRUE dark romance of someone who writes about them. There is a touching and chilling story of angst, courage, and redemption within Doubling.
Am I biased? Yes—I really know Kim. Full disclosure. I was around during part of the book, and there through every page of the book, making sure she had a hand to hold ( unfortunately on the phone from hundreds of miles away) as she both battled back from Hell, and recounted this sordid TRUE mess that had become her life.
Having fully admitted my bias, I will also admit this is not my normal read, and I’ll say it broke my heart to verbally hear and read, all of the layers and tales from her time with Illias. But I can honestly say, had this been anyone’s true story, written in the exact same way, I would feel the very same emotions from such a heartfelt and horrific story of a love that was at times beautiful but also at times brutal... and just wasn’t meant to last forever.
This person is a fighter. She is an artist. And she’s talented. She is one of those Authors that can make words sound like music, albeit an edgy plot from her twisted mind, or a chilling recount of a chapter in her life.
I respect Kim for everything she has gone through; and especially for what she has written. Her life and entire dark story with Illias is on full display— the good, the bad, & the really bad.. She is not proud of all of the choices and decisions she’s made in her life. But, who is? Kim is a person who lives her life and does the best she can, trying to learn from her mistakes. Just like each of us.
She beat cancer...twice. She did not allow Illias to kill her, or extinguish her loving spirit. Most importantly, Kim is the epitome of a survivor.
Compelling, Raw, & REAL.
Buy Links:
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Doubling-Kimbe...
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doubling-Kim...
Amazon AU: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Doubling-Kim...
Amazon CA: https://www.amazon.ca/Doubling-Kimber...
*(THANK YOU KIM, BTW FOR SUCH A THOUGHTFUL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT! I will always be here for you. Ya just had to get some more tears outta me!❤️)*
Some of Kimber S. Dawn’s fictional titles below:
September 28, 2019
This book is Everything! I don't have the words for this review I could never do it justice to what this book is, it is raw, beautiful, heartbreaking.
This story is real and it should be read I cried I smiled.
I don't have words. I sit here writing this with tears. This book is just so much more than anything I have read before because it is REAL.
This story is real and it should be read I cried I smiled.
I don't have words. I sit here writing this with tears. This book is just so much more than anything I have read before because it is REAL.
November 19, 2019
Hell of a book!
I've read all Kimber S Dawn's books. I love all of them but Doubling is one I'll never forget. NEVER.
I've read all Kimber S Dawn's books. I love all of them but Doubling is one I'll never forget. NEVER.
November 2, 2019
This is Kim's story that is told from the heart, while not holding back. This book just gripped me right from the start and it had me quickly turning the pages and I had great trouble putting it down when I had to and found myself thinking about it. I had so many feelings and emotions while reading this book and my heart went out to Kim many times as this story is so Raw and she tells you how it is. She has a big heart and only wanted to be loved and be happy and she fell head over heels in love, she trusted and cared and got blinded by love and lust, she gave so many chances and got let down and got her heart broken. My heart went out to her with what she had and went through and think it made her even stronger than what she already was, it opened her mind and she got on with her life.
I can't even begin to imagine how she got through all this, I don't think I could or would but reading this incredible story it's made me more grateful of my own life and how lucky I am and what I have. Also living in the UK, we are very lucky we have the NHS and we don't have to worry about bills, payment or insurance for our care, we are looked after by our country.
This was such a heart hitting and gripping book and it was very well written and 5 big stars from me.
I can't even begin to imagine how she got through all this, I don't think I could or would but reading this incredible story it's made me more grateful of my own life and how lucky I am and what I have. Also living in the UK, we are very lucky we have the NHS and we don't have to worry about bills, payment or insurance for our care, we are looked after by our country.
This was such a heart hitting and gripping book and it was very well written and 5 big stars from me.
September 30, 2019
where to start with this , let me say Ive always been a fan of Kimbers writing something about what she pours into her words just grabs you. Now she is giving us something different Shes sharing her life in her words Heartbreaking and raw. I want to say my heart is broken for Kimber but its not because no matter what she went through she pulled up and fought back against ever odd she had. I dont think she wrote this book for our pity I think she wrote this book to help herself heal even more. After reading this I just know personally that I adore this women even more for having the courage to bring her life and what she went through out for everyone to read.
November 23, 2022
This story broke my heart but in doing that it just emphasised the strength, determination,undying love and perseverance that this woman Kimber S Dawn possesses.
October 12, 2019
~𝐃𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠...𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔, 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒙𝒄𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈.~
I feel very conflicted with this memoir/autobiography, so in turn I am feeling conflicted on my rating and review of it. This is a story of survival, of a woman caught in a snare of a toxic relationship and her ability to crawl away from it. In all honesty Kimber Dawn could have very well been telling my biography as I too fell in love with a man that was in love with another. A higher high than I could ever give him, something that dominated his every thought in every waking moment. And like Kimber, I am a fixer always wanting to see the best in others. But there is no fixing a condition such as this, we are not equipped to do anything other than patch the crack until another break.
We start overlooking what our head and intuitions are saying, we lie to ourselves, telling ourselves that they wouldn’t do that. We second guess what is right in front of us. And the funny thing is everyone sees it but the person that is involved. They in turn become our addiction, but they will never reciprocate, like them we are chasing that high, that first feeling of love, freedom, that thrill of feeling buoyant, a weightlessness of euphoria. It’s all just a vicious cycle that takes control of your life.
So I can understand Kimber’s circumstances and decisions, that is not what I struggled with throughout this story. Her tale is sad and somewhat tragic, but it is all very cliche. I think in retelling it, she has left out some very poignant and effectual details which makes the story feel as it has lost some of its originality, ingenuity, and in turn lost the impact that her story could have made. I understand that no one ever wants to air their dirty laundry to the public, or ever be looked upon as anything else but a strong,capable and functioning member of their community. But when you make that decision to lay out a memoir or autobiography, you should be prepared to share all of it and perhaps be judged by it. I am in no way alluding that I am judging this author for having the courage and fortitude to initiate this story, I am just merely suggesting that I KNOW her story is so much more wretched than what she has portrayed, and if those details were included, her readers would be able to empathize a bit more with her plight.
I can’t say that I know first hand Kimber’s reasoning for writing this book, but I assume that she wrote this to show that she is stronger than what she has been dealt and has come out the other side scathed, but intact. I applaud her and her strength to battle not just this condition but also a very alarming health condition as well. They say there is healing through words. 𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂, 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮.
3.5* To Hell and Back Stars
I feel very conflicted with this memoir/autobiography, so in turn I am feeling conflicted on my rating and review of it. This is a story of survival, of a woman caught in a snare of a toxic relationship and her ability to crawl away from it. In all honesty Kimber Dawn could have very well been telling my biography as I too fell in love with a man that was in love with another. A higher high than I could ever give him, something that dominated his every thought in every waking moment. And like Kimber, I am a fixer always wanting to see the best in others. But there is no fixing a condition such as this, we are not equipped to do anything other than patch the crack until another break.
We start overlooking what our head and intuitions are saying, we lie to ourselves, telling ourselves that they wouldn’t do that. We second guess what is right in front of us. And the funny thing is everyone sees it but the person that is involved. They in turn become our addiction, but they will never reciprocate, like them we are chasing that high, that first feeling of love, freedom, that thrill of feeling buoyant, a weightlessness of euphoria. It’s all just a vicious cycle that takes control of your life.
So I can understand Kimber’s circumstances and decisions, that is not what I struggled with throughout this story. Her tale is sad and somewhat tragic, but it is all very cliche. I think in retelling it, she has left out some very poignant and effectual details which makes the story feel as it has lost some of its originality, ingenuity, and in turn lost the impact that her story could have made. I understand that no one ever wants to air their dirty laundry to the public, or ever be looked upon as anything else but a strong,capable and functioning member of their community. But when you make that decision to lay out a memoir or autobiography, you should be prepared to share all of it and perhaps be judged by it. I am in no way alluding that I am judging this author for having the courage and fortitude to initiate this story, I am just merely suggesting that I KNOW her story is so much more wretched than what she has portrayed, and if those details were included, her readers would be able to empathize a bit more with her plight.
I can’t say that I know first hand Kimber’s reasoning for writing this book, but I assume that she wrote this to show that she is stronger than what she has been dealt and has come out the other side scathed, but intact. I applaud her and her strength to battle not just this condition but also a very alarming health condition as well. They say there is healing through words. 𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂, 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮.
3.5* To Hell and Back Stars
October 3, 2019
I want to start my review by saying that it needs courage to write a book like this.
This is a real life story. Not fiction, but real.
The author left nothing behind when she decided to write about what happened during some dark years of her life.
It's ugly. Very ugly. No ones deserves to live like that.
But it's also eye opening. It took her some years to let go a toxic love that would kill her for sure.
But she did and you can feel her strength through her words. She's a very strong woman indeed.
Her words grabbed my attention since the beginning to this raw and heartbreaking testimony.
I felt angry so many times I can't possibly count. I felt deep inside me the need to grab and shake her to WAKE UP!
In the end, I felt peace and an uncontrollable urge to hug her.
This is one of those books that everyone should read at least once in your life.
This is a real life story. Not fiction, but real.
The author left nothing behind when she decided to write about what happened during some dark years of her life.
It's ugly. Very ugly. No ones deserves to live like that.
But it's also eye opening. It took her some years to let go a toxic love that would kill her for sure.
But she did and you can feel her strength through her words. She's a very strong woman indeed.
Her words grabbed my attention since the beginning to this raw and heartbreaking testimony.
I felt angry so many times I can't possibly count. I felt deep inside me the need to grab and shake her to WAKE UP!
In the end, I felt peace and an uncontrollable urge to hug her.
This is one of those books that everyone should read at least once in your life.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews