Michael Paris inherits a cemetery when his grandfather passes away. He intends to sell it to the city that owns the surrounding property, until he discovers an angry mob waiting to burn it to the ground and meets the group of freaks living inside it. Abbey, the lovely vampire, offers to show Paris around the cemetery, and introduces him to its many denizens. There’s Hildy the buxom witch, who looks a bit like a dwarf and is mostly hat, nose, and boobs – possibly beard, too; Glump the demon, who is afraid of socks; Nessie the scantily clad merwoman (although she’s voluptuous, she’s not really what I’d call attractive – maybe because I prefer my women with noses and nostrils, which she lacks) who is married to Brutus – think Frankenstein; and more! Mayor Wormwood takes matters into his own hands, however, and starts the demolition without consulting Paris. Paris races in to save the day and Wormwood takes on his true form (apparently, he’s Satan) and carries Paris off to hell, where he tries to convince him to do the right thing (through torture, torments, and seductive promises). When Paris doesn’t budge, Wormwood becomes a mass of bees and disappears, making everyone think his reign of terror (or whatever it was) is over. The townspeople help repair the damage to the cemetery. There are a lot of long, meaningful looks exchanged between Paris and Abbey.