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To Be a Gay Man
Million-selling pop star and co-host of influential podcast ‘Homo Sapiens’, Will Young is calling for an end to society’s legacy of gay shame, revealing the impact it had on his own life, how he learned to deal with it and how he can now truthfully say he is gay and happy.
In To Be a Gay Man , Will Young speaks out about gay shame, revealing the impact it had on his own life, how he learned to deal with it, and how he can now truthfully say he is gay and happy. We know Will as a multi-platinum recording artist, Olivier-nominee, and the first winner of the Idol franchise. But his story began long before his first audition. Looking back on a world where growing up being called gay was the ultimate insult and coming out after a lifetime of hiding his sexuality, Will explores the long-lasting impact repressing his true self has had. As Will’s own story demonstrates, internalised shame in childhood increases the risk of developing low self-worth, and even self-disgust, leading to destructive behaviours in adult life. Will revisits the darkest extremes he has been to, sharing his vulnerabilities, his regrets, tracing his own navigation through it all and showing the way for others who might have felt alone in the same experience. Here you will find a friend, champion and mentor, breaking taboos with frank honesty, and offering invaluable practical advice on overcoming the difficult issues too often faced within the LGBTQ+ community.
In To Be a Gay Man , Will Young speaks out about gay shame, revealing the impact it had on his own life, how he learned to deal with it, and how he can now truthfully say he is gay and happy. We know Will as a multi-platinum recording artist, Olivier-nominee, and the first winner of the Idol franchise. But his story began long before his first audition. Looking back on a world where growing up being called gay was the ultimate insult and coming out after a lifetime of hiding his sexuality, Will explores the long-lasting impact repressing his true self has had. As Will’s own story demonstrates, internalised shame in childhood increases the risk of developing low self-worth, and even self-disgust, leading to destructive behaviours in adult life. Will revisits the darkest extremes he has been to, sharing his vulnerabilities, his regrets, tracing his own navigation through it all and showing the way for others who might have felt alone in the same experience. Here you will find a friend, champion and mentor, breaking taboos with frank honesty, and offering invaluable practical advice on overcoming the difficult issues too often faced within the LGBTQ+ community.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published September 3, 2020
27 people are currently reading
469 people want to read
About the author
Will Young
23 books17 followersWill Young is an English singer-songwriter and actor who came to prominence after winning the 2002 inaugural series of the British music contest Pop Idol, making him the first winner of the worldwide Idol franchise.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews
March 10, 2023
I listened to the audiobook which was perfectly narrated by Will Young himself. He was honest and witty and so very likeable.
The content of this book including the existence of gay shame is absolutely important for us to consider and understand in today’s society whether you are a part of the LGBTQI+ community or not.
The content of this book including the existence of gay shame is absolutely important for us to consider and understand in today’s society whether you are a part of the LGBTQI+ community or not.
January 31, 2021
Loved Will Youngs music. Still do.
This book isn’t long so you can sail through its pages.
I chose to listen to Will himself reading me it.
At first I thought it just mundane and factual in his voice. Like telling a story about someone else.
He picked up pace though, but, more importantly he picked up with “feeling”. When you got to hear that in his voice it made more of an impact on me.
Just to think, walking down a street or going somewhere or into somewhere yo just can’t enjoy the journey but part of your life is “always being aware of your surroundings “.
For instance, walking down the road hand in hand with your partner then having to drop the hand holding because now there are people around......
Like he says, it’s got better....
But in some ways not.....
Because the ways of anyone LGBTQ or diverse some people just do not accept, or they ‘tolerate”.
Acceptance isn’t the key.
Not saying anything or looking the other way isn’t the key.
Mindset is the key.
We are who we are.
Not “they” are who they are!
Brilliant incite, although small, into Wills parts of his life.
Made me quite sad.
October 12, 2020
An account on gay shame, that is about coming to terms with accepting it personally, and urges society to end the long legacy of it. It was hard not to get emotional. I also am a Homo Sapiens stan and have always fancied WY, ngl
November 22, 2020
Difficult to rate a book that’s so personal, and that’s so important for heterosexual people like myself to read to understand more about what our LGBTQ friends and family go through. But I just didn’t think this book was particularly *good*, even though I’m glad I read it.
September 5, 2021
Some of the feelings and experiences Will Young writes about are very relatable to me, and bring up emotions and memories of growing up as a gay man. However, I'm afraid a lot of this book is entirely unrelatable. Will was born privileged, and grew up in a very white, upper-middle-class society, attending private schools and having good fortune in his career. I feel that, whilst his experiences are entirely valid and recognised by many gay people, it is hard to connect or relate with his story as it is so far removed from the majority of our lives. I'm afraid this book is very poorly written too, with grammatical issues, stories and anecdotes that are irrelevant, and a couple of instances of problematic language. I don't think this book is very useful but as a short and easy read, may be of interest to some people.
July 30, 2021
A quick book with Will himself as the narrator that is part memoir and part exploration of past and present LGBTQ+ presence in society as general.
I didn't expect to enjoy this as much as I did but listening to this made it all the more witty and enjoyable.
I didn't expect to enjoy this as much as I did but listening to this made it all the more witty and enjoyable.
September 17, 2020
Absolutely fantastic read, it didn’t feel just like a biography it felt like a mindfulness and self-help book too, Will is so open and honest about his journey and he is so inspiring, this book just confirms that even more for me, to share so much about yourself with others so that people can learn and help champion positive change is just awe inspiring. Fantastic book I’d encourage everyone to read.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
May 14, 2021
A very candid and frank book from Will Young in which he not only bravely highlights his own flaws, issues and faults, but takes responsibility for and ownership of them, all in the context of being a gay man.
Will's voice is perfectly suited to audiobook, and it comes with a good helping of wit, humour and self-deprecation.
A courageous title indeed.
Will's voice is perfectly suited to audiobook, and it comes with a good helping of wit, humour and self-deprecation.
A courageous title indeed.
April 22, 2022
Wow a very moving and honest story. At times a bit heart breaking. Whether you like Will's music or not this book is worth reading or listening to
December 31, 2022
I appreciated being given an insight into Will’s life and experience. It’s nice to know someone else thought and felt like I did.
March 9, 2021
Reflections and lessons learned:
Oh, I’m so torn over this. I’m a similar age to Young so even though I grew up in a different geographical and class set up (oh to have been understood by the middle class normative that I couldn’t be? Unhelpfully sarcastic I appreciate but how I felt when listening...) I had very similar musical and media influences growing up. We then all tuned in to Pop Idol each week in our twenties, being intrigued by the new format of a interactive musical tv show... we then really tuned in when someone unusual seemed to be leading the way. Will represented the different music that some of us had grown up on - a mixture of 60s Motown and 70s pop and groove, all wrapped up in a big soul parcel. I remember the Sunday morning reaction to THAT newspaper story being published and several phonecalls went around my friends solely about this, including my parents. So he was gay... just as we already thought - but it was shocking as it seemed that he had tried to suppress that side of him from the public. Why could he be outspoken on some things but not about who he was - the person that we could see as we supported him subverting some of the cliches of the time. As a wise person once said about being upfront about themselves “10% were angry, 10% were hip and groovy, and 80% were indifferent, too busy cooking eggs...”
The book felt quite muddled in places as its part memoir and part facts and tips for coping, but the switches arrived without links. Some parts were very moving though of course and no-one should feel as he did at times... and the press really don’t help matters like this.
...BUT some of the use of language and phrasing in places was awful. “If only we’d had an Olly Alexander...” we had Boy George! A man that was on prime time tv in full extreme make up, professing his love for the male drummer through a heartbreaking mainstream album!! Our generation had 80s Bowie, Holly Johnson and FGTH, Mercury and Everett, and whilst I fully acknowledge that not everything was plain sailing for those following their hearts and urges down the road less travelled at the time, considering the social backdrop, there were people starting to pioneer that when it came to relationships, anything was possible (ironic pun intended). A book that left me feeling that identifying his exclusion criteria in life now seems more important to Young than connecting. If that helps him to protect his heart, then fair play, but not sure whether this book was the best vehicle for that message
Oh, I’m so torn over this. I’m a similar age to Young so even though I grew up in a different geographical and class set up (oh to have been understood by the middle class normative that I couldn’t be? Unhelpfully sarcastic I appreciate but how I felt when listening...) I had very similar musical and media influences growing up. We then all tuned in to Pop Idol each week in our twenties, being intrigued by the new format of a interactive musical tv show... we then really tuned in when someone unusual seemed to be leading the way. Will represented the different music that some of us had grown up on - a mixture of 60s Motown and 70s pop and groove, all wrapped up in a big soul parcel. I remember the Sunday morning reaction to THAT newspaper story being published and several phonecalls went around my friends solely about this, including my parents. So he was gay... just as we already thought - but it was shocking as it seemed that he had tried to suppress that side of him from the public. Why could he be outspoken on some things but not about who he was - the person that we could see as we supported him subverting some of the cliches of the time. As a wise person once said about being upfront about themselves “10% were angry, 10% were hip and groovy, and 80% were indifferent, too busy cooking eggs...”
The book felt quite muddled in places as its part memoir and part facts and tips for coping, but the switches arrived without links. Some parts were very moving though of course and no-one should feel as he did at times... and the press really don’t help matters like this.
...BUT some of the use of language and phrasing in places was awful. “If only we’d had an Olly Alexander...” we had Boy George! A man that was on prime time tv in full extreme make up, professing his love for the male drummer through a heartbreaking mainstream album!! Our generation had 80s Bowie, Holly Johnson and FGTH, Mercury and Everett, and whilst I fully acknowledge that not everything was plain sailing for those following their hearts and urges down the road less travelled at the time, considering the social backdrop, there were people starting to pioneer that when it came to relationships, anything was possible (ironic pun intended). A book that left me feeling that identifying his exclusion criteria in life now seems more important to Young than connecting. If that helps him to protect his heart, then fair play, but not sure whether this book was the best vehicle for that message
September 3, 2020
A very important book.
Part autobiographical, part help and advice; this book felt like an important insight into the shame related to being lgbtq+, hitting all the right notes on realisation, telling friends and family, public perception and living an authentic, amazing life.
As a heterosexual lady I found this book a real eye opener and after talking to a gay friend about what I’d read he agreed with a lot of what is written in Will’s book and had similar feelings of shame, something I had never known. He also agreed with me on the importance of this book for all, wether it’s to find a common voice or to understand your friend or family member a little more.
The book has a warm and non-preachy tone, Will doesn’t shy from admitting to his own flaws and it is lovely to hear him also celebrate his own successes alongside this too.
I love the little mention of his charity voluntary work, and how the sense of community in the shop makes him feel- he is very welcome to come and dress the windows in my Charity shop if he ever finds himself in North Yorkshire
Part autobiographical, part help and advice; this book felt like an important insight into the shame related to being lgbtq+, hitting all the right notes on realisation, telling friends and family, public perception and living an authentic, amazing life.
As a heterosexual lady I found this book a real eye opener and after talking to a gay friend about what I’d read he agreed with a lot of what is written in Will’s book and had similar feelings of shame, something I had never known. He also agreed with me on the importance of this book for all, wether it’s to find a common voice or to understand your friend or family member a little more.
The book has a warm and non-preachy tone, Will doesn’t shy from admitting to his own flaws and it is lovely to hear him also celebrate his own successes alongside this too.
I love the little mention of his charity voluntary work, and how the sense of community in the shop makes him feel- he is very welcome to come and dress the windows in my Charity shop if he ever finds himself in North Yorkshire
September 4, 2020
An honest and open discussion from Will Young on his experiences growing up as a gay man, in particular an explanation of the gay shaming he felt along the way.
I read this book as an LGBTQ+ ally - I'm the same age as Will, but a heterosexual female with two children. I love them deeply and will support them and their peers whatever their sexuality, and however they are feeling. To me, this has been a useful book to pick up some of those intense feelings which probably pass a lot of us by.
Thanks Will for sharing your story, and I hope this has also brought you some catharsis.
I read this book as an LGBTQ+ ally - I'm the same age as Will, but a heterosexual female with two children. I love them deeply and will support them and their peers whatever their sexuality, and however they are feeling. To me, this has been a useful book to pick up some of those intense feelings which probably pass a lot of us by.
Thanks Will for sharing your story, and I hope this has also brought you some catharsis.
February 22, 2021
I used to think that Will Young was just the dude who won Pop Twats or whatever and thought that he would have been the least likely candidate for enough material to fill an autobiography but actually this was a really interesting book about gay shame and how it’s affected his whole life despite seeming like someone who’s really confident in their Gay.
Read
February 12, 2021I feel very mixed feelings about this book, I have a feeling that this was its intent. I’m not able to put a star rating, it’s impossible to do.
Firstly, Will Young doesn’t want my sympathy and yet I can’t not feel that way. Having a gay son myself and reading the way a very young Will felt different and struggled alone with his feelings you can’t not feel it in your heart, it hurts it really does. Thinking of any child this way is truly heart breaking.
The underlying issue for me which Will highlights in abundance is lack of education, lack of understanding, reference and knowledge. Because homosexuality was and actually unfortunately still can be, taboo and so people didn’t or don’t speak openly. What become an eye opener is that a child will realise his or her sexuality and be blind as to what to do about it. From a very young age they are set at a massive disadvantage, left out in the cold to deal with these thoughts and emotions alone with out help.
What was lovely for me to read is personal encounters and Wills candour. These are the sort of experiences a young gay person need to know, to know his own struggles and mental health issues as a celeb, I hope would give comfort to others.
Shame is spoken a lot in this book, and it makes me so angry that a person would be made to feel dirty, or wrong for no reason they could change. For loving, for attraction. I find it hard to digest that one would have to really think over the safety of a simple gesture as to hold the hand of a partner in public? This is so hard to for me to process and I feel terrible that I didn’t even think this even happened! Ignorant is how I feel.
There are some beautiful moments within the sadness, and it seems clear that times are changing, just not as quickly as they should be.
I’m glad I read this book, and I am glad that Will is amongst the increasing number of gay people ready to teach. Being open with each other is the way forward for change.
Firstly, Will Young doesn’t want my sympathy and yet I can’t not feel that way. Having a gay son myself and reading the way a very young Will felt different and struggled alone with his feelings you can’t not feel it in your heart, it hurts it really does. Thinking of any child this way is truly heart breaking.
The underlying issue for me which Will highlights in abundance is lack of education, lack of understanding, reference and knowledge. Because homosexuality was and actually unfortunately still can be, taboo and so people didn’t or don’t speak openly. What become an eye opener is that a child will realise his or her sexuality and be blind as to what to do about it. From a very young age they are set at a massive disadvantage, left out in the cold to deal with these thoughts and emotions alone with out help.
What was lovely for me to read is personal encounters and Wills candour. These are the sort of experiences a young gay person need to know, to know his own struggles and mental health issues as a celeb, I hope would give comfort to others.
Shame is spoken a lot in this book, and it makes me so angry that a person would be made to feel dirty, or wrong for no reason they could change. For loving, for attraction. I find it hard to digest that one would have to really think over the safety of a simple gesture as to hold the hand of a partner in public? This is so hard to for me to process and I feel terrible that I didn’t even think this even happened! Ignorant is how I feel.
There are some beautiful moments within the sadness, and it seems clear that times are changing, just not as quickly as they should be.
I’m glad I read this book, and I am glad that Will is amongst the increasing number of gay people ready to teach. Being open with each other is the way forward for change.
March 15, 2022
I listened to this and was really saddened by the obstacles and experiences that gay people still have in 2022. I enjoyed listening to some of Will’s funny and candid stories and about his journey from childhood as a gay man.
January 23, 2021
Not really a memoir, more of a self help book. Lots of buzzwords, gayshame, heteronormative, toxic etc along with plenty of therapeutic woo-woo...
If this helps a family be more understanding, or someone struggling with their sexuality or depression then I'm glad it exists.
I can't help but look at a self help book about shame and depression as flawed, when the writer released the book and did the subsequent rounds of the media literally weeks after his twin brother killed himself. Hearing from the inquest months later that he had in fact slunk out his house and called the police, to have his mentally ill brother arrested as a trespasser (he was in fact living there) leaves rather a nasty taste in my mouth. Will harping on about his difficulty overcoming being gay, and famous takes on a rather less rosy glow when his 'heteronormative' unfamous brother jumped off a bridge to his death shortly after his arrest...
If this helps a family be more understanding, or someone struggling with their sexuality or depression then I'm glad it exists.
I can't help but look at a self help book about shame and depression as flawed, when the writer released the book and did the subsequent rounds of the media literally weeks after his twin brother killed himself. Hearing from the inquest months later that he had in fact slunk out his house and called the police, to have his mentally ill brother arrested as a trespasser (he was in fact living there) leaves rather a nasty taste in my mouth. Will harping on about his difficulty overcoming being gay, and famous takes on a rather less rosy glow when his 'heteronormative' unfamous brother jumped off a bridge to his death shortly after his arrest...
April 9, 2021
I honestly don’t understand the point of this book, it reveals nothing about Will other than his journey of acceptance of himself being a gay man. I’ve been a fan of Will Young since I was 14, he’s been out since 2002 so it’s a strange decision to document a personal journey now. Perhaps it will help someone else going through their own acceptance but for me is was dull.
January 7, 2021
This is such a slight but important book.
It's really illuminating about the rampant homophobia so prevalent in the UK media in the early 2000s and Will Young speaks with really effecting honesty about his struggles with gay shame.
It's really illuminating about the rampant homophobia so prevalent in the UK media in the early 2000s and Will Young speaks with really effecting honesty about his struggles with gay shame.
May 6, 2021
4.5ish stars so rounding up. RTC.
***eProof given by UK publisher via NetGalley in exchange for honest review/reaction. Please note I listened to audiobook, read by the author, borrowed from local library***
Non-fiction isn't my typical Go-To genre. I dip my toe in every now and again (I adore The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper & really enjoyed Dead Famous: An Unexpected History of Celebrity from Bronze Age to Silver Screen, and I am looking into a few other non-fictions such as I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer, How to Argue With a Racist: History, Science, Race and Reality and Strange Antics: A History of Seduction to name but a few), but when I saw this up on NetGalley and then on my library's audiobook app, I jumped at it for a reason I couldn't put my finger out.
Part memoir (of a sort) and part non-fiction, Will talks about society's legacy of gay shame and how members of the LGBTQ+ community and how this climate effects young gay people growing up with a higher risk of developing low self-worth and self-disgust, leading to destructive behaviours in adult life. He, also, talks about his battle with his self-worth and gay shame, revealing the impact it had on his own life (depression, anxiety, addictions to alcohol, porn, shopping and love [yes, there is a love addiction. Something I didn't know about till I got to that chapter)
This is surprisingly short - 4 hours on audiobook and 272 pages in UK hardback - so I wasn't expect a deep-dive into the issue of gay shame, but I found that Will talking about it and how it effect him really insightful. From how UK government tackled the AIDS crisis in the 80s (many of us watched Channel 4's It's A Sin and were shocked over what we witnessed) to the casual homophobia we see in newspaper/media outlets via the use of coded language (yes, [CENSORED UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS WHO HAVE USED CODED LANGUAGE TO HIDE RACISM, SEXISM, HOMOPHOBIA, ETC], we see what you're doing), we see how this affected him (and others) as a young child figuring out who he is and how it affect his adult life, overcoming the external and internal gay shame.
Actually, Will mentioned one or two things that I, as someone who identifies a gay man, went "OH! I do this" or "I think of this!" and it made me pause and look at why.
I know this isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea but I think this will be an insightful and thoughtful book to use as a starting point to understand homophobia.
***eProof given by UK publisher via NetGalley in exchange for honest review/reaction. Please note I listened to audiobook, read by the author, borrowed from local library***
Non-fiction isn't my typical Go-To genre. I dip my toe in every now and again (I adore The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper & really enjoyed Dead Famous: An Unexpected History of Celebrity from Bronze Age to Silver Screen, and I am looking into a few other non-fictions such as I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer, How to Argue With a Racist: History, Science, Race and Reality and Strange Antics: A History of Seduction to name but a few), but when I saw this up on NetGalley and then on my library's audiobook app, I jumped at it for a reason I couldn't put my finger out.
Part memoir (of a sort) and part non-fiction, Will talks about society's legacy of gay shame and how members of the LGBTQ+ community and how this climate effects young gay people growing up with a higher risk of developing low self-worth and self-disgust, leading to destructive behaviours in adult life. He, also, talks about his battle with his self-worth and gay shame, revealing the impact it had on his own life (depression, anxiety, addictions to alcohol, porn, shopping and love [yes, there is a love addiction. Something I didn't know about till I got to that chapter)
This is surprisingly short - 4 hours on audiobook and 272 pages in UK hardback - so I wasn't expect a deep-dive into the issue of gay shame, but I found that Will talking about it and how it effect him really insightful. From how UK government tackled the AIDS crisis in the 80s (many of us watched Channel 4's It's A Sin and were shocked over what we witnessed) to the casual homophobia we see in newspaper/media outlets via the use of coded language (yes, [CENSORED UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS WHO HAVE USED CODED LANGUAGE TO HIDE RACISM, SEXISM, HOMOPHOBIA, ETC], we see what you're doing), we see how this affected him (and others) as a young child figuring out who he is and how it affect his adult life, overcoming the external and internal gay shame.
Actually, Will mentioned one or two things that I, as someone who identifies a gay man, went "OH! I do this" or "I think of this!" and it made me pause and look at why.
I know this isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea but I think this will be an insightful and thoughtful book to use as a starting point to understand homophobia.
August 2, 2021
I always wonder with celebrities who write books how much of what they say is the truth and what is made up and – more importantly – what it kept back. For the first time they are in control of the narrative of their own story rather than being at the hands of headline grabbing journalists with questionable morals. With Will Young’s To Be A Gay Man I really feel that he has bled his life on to the pages of his book.
To Be A Gay Man shows Will Young at his most vulnerable. He talks about his sexuality, how the shame of this affected his mental health and his descent into needing to seek medical care because he lost control. The terrible thing about all of this is that they things that caused his distress are not things to be ashamed of and speaks volumes about how the society we live in still treats ‘the other’ with disdain that when you identify with this mythical ‘other’ you develop internal hatred. It really is heartbreaking.
Will Young should be congratulated on his candour in To Be A Gay Man. This is the kind of book that will help others.
To Be A Gay Man by Will Young is available now.
To Be A Gay Man shows Will Young at his most vulnerable. He talks about his sexuality, how the shame of this affected his mental health and his descent into needing to seek medical care because he lost control. The terrible thing about all of this is that they things that caused his distress are not things to be ashamed of and speaks volumes about how the society we live in still treats ‘the other’ with disdain that when you identify with this mythical ‘other’ you develop internal hatred. It really is heartbreaking.
Will Young should be congratulated on his candour in To Be A Gay Man. This is the kind of book that will help others.
To Be A Gay Man by Will Young is available now.
September 10, 2022
Listened to the audiobook, via Borrowbox.
The Details:
Narrated by the author
Unabridged
Will Young has a lovely speaking voice just as much as his singing voice, although I haven't listened to his music in a long while.
This was a great memoir, talking more in depth about Young's struggles with his sexuality, his shame surrounding it, his addiction to pornography and how this fueled his shame futher. I remember briefly reading or hearing about his addiction, but I didn't know any more about the depths of his life and this was a fascinating insight.
I love what he did in dispelling this built up shame and how he works through it still, at times.
There were also conversations on relationships with his family and friends, his music career, and his boarding school career too.
Pick it up, give it a go and enjoy! >(^_^)<
Gén
The Details:
Narrated by the author
Unabridged
Will Young has a lovely speaking voice just as much as his singing voice, although I haven't listened to his music in a long while.
This was a great memoir, talking more in depth about Young's struggles with his sexuality, his shame surrounding it, his addiction to pornography and how this fueled his shame futher. I remember briefly reading or hearing about his addiction, but I didn't know any more about the depths of his life and this was a fascinating insight.
I love what he did in dispelling this built up shame and how he works through it still, at times.
There were also conversations on relationships with his family and friends, his music career, and his boarding school career too.
Pick it up, give it a go and enjoy! >(^_^)<
Gén
April 13, 2023
The book was good: not terrible yet not exceptional. There are some parts that really resonated with me, specifically the shame one harbours about being gay and how one tiptoes the line of self expression and what is expected from society.
However, relatability ends there because of how little we have in common besides being gay. We are in different age groups, live in different countries, have different economic standings, I also identify as a racial minority. The differences go on.
All in all, it was a good read. I appreciate the glimpse into another gay man’s struggle and it was very brave of him to share it publicly.
However, relatability ends there because of how little we have in common besides being gay. We are in different age groups, live in different countries, have different economic standings, I also identify as a racial minority. The differences go on.
All in all, it was a good read. I appreciate the glimpse into another gay man’s struggle and it was very brave of him to share it publicly.
September 16, 2020
Although I appreciate Will’s point of view, growing up as a Gay man in the 80s, 90s, 00s
It wasn’t for me.
Having lived through the same timeline as Will, i already knew most of the things he was talking about. I found it hard to connect to his story, but others may not.
It wasn’t for me.
Having lived through the same timeline as Will, i already knew most of the things he was talking about. I found it hard to connect to his story, but others may not.
October 24, 2020
The book opens, practically with a smile. Who can resist reading about a crisp autumnal morning, even if there is a rude awakening by Nellie, Will Young's daschund who wakes him up and goes on to the podcast he and Chris Sweeney have founded, called the Homo-Sapien's Podcast.
Will Young talks candidly about the online communities that go about Gay-Shaming. I'm heterosexual myself, but accept everyone and it's absolutely emotional and shocking to the core. I am impressed that Will Young has got the courage to tell the world about what he found. In this book there's definitely a certain amount of strength of character.
He then goes onto talk very personally about his family and relationship with his dad and the bullying within the education system and how he reckons LGBTQ is still not addressed properly. What is good, is he backs it up with facts, using The Trevor Project in the USA and Stonewall in the UK for examples and for research into his basis. It makes this a stronger book for it. It's a real mix of facts, figures, his personal experiences and opinions.
He also addresses the layers of being gay, which may be evident if you have a friend who is in the LGBTQ community or are within it yourself. He also backtracks in time and talks about what it was like in the 1980's, drawing upon Freddie Mercury and also the detrimental effect parts of religion has had. He also talks of the effects of AIDS in-relation to some of the "public notices" put out and the effects and then even further in time on the government's "Section 28", which is more in the present times.
He does touch on theatre and film, but more in-terms of role models, or rather lack of role models who are gay and what that would mean to him and also how the stereotyping when writing a role for a gay character and talks of some actors at a particular time.
You can practically feel the pain leaping off the page as he talks about his prep-school years. He's also honest about the growing-up and the sexuality side of that time of life and the opening up to a friend.
There are also moments I'm pretty sure some people would bury, never to be repeated again, but this is enlightening and courageous as he talks about regrets and also the shame he has felt and what he has had to deal with.
He touches on Pop Idol and gaining confidence and although he talks a bit about sex, it isn't in any crude way at all and has a point, but then do does absolutely everything that is written. Everyone can take something away from this book, learn something new or have something clarified or relate to it on all sorts of levels.
He also touches upon the sense of community he does feel and also a bit about volunteer charitable works he is involved in, which, again shows another slice of his life.
Don't get this wrong. This isn't a "poor me" type of book. I've seen those and this definitely is not one of them. This is very different to those. It's inspiring and raising awareness and is thought-provoking in a non-pretentious way, which is impressive. He also doesn't appear to shy away from anything, but tells it how it is for him and it feels honest.
Later, the book moves into his mental health and having a breakdown and PTSD and how it came about and how he seeked help and how he felt. It goes further than that and on closer inspection, there are more parts that are thought-provoking and perhaps some people will also be able to gain, not just knowledge about Will Young, but also certain things that could apply to their lives and that could just assist someone that little bit, but it isn't a self-help book as such though. He delves into the conditions of drealisation and depersonalisation that he has and going into therapy.
He details what he found in another book, other elements that, it doesn't matter who you are, what you do, your sexual orientation, that could be beneficial to people as he describes Perfectionism etc and how that is for him, but really you can transplant your own life, if you are a perfectionist etc. At the end, head to the Appendix. It is very responsibly and thoughtfully got CBT Techniques and then in the second Appendix there is Help and Support contacts.
Will Young writes about how he wanted to connect with himself. The book, I think has enough within it that there will be people who could potentially find it so helpful not to feel alone. The fact that is an extensive list of charities too that specialise in LGBTQ is fabulous. No one should be alone and please, if you are having any issues with mental health or anything, please know that there is support out there. I have listed just a couple from the list Will Young has in his book. They are there for the LGBTQ community and this includes families too.
Links to Support and Mental Health Teams
LGBTQ Foundation
Provides as wide range of services to support lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-people.
https://lgbt.foundation/ Tel: 03453 303030
Mermaids
Charity Supporting young trans people as well as their families.
https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk Tel: 0808 801 0400
Mind Out
LGBTQ+ mental health service
https://www.mindout.org.uk Tel: 01273 234839
Will Young talks candidly about the online communities that go about Gay-Shaming. I'm heterosexual myself, but accept everyone and it's absolutely emotional and shocking to the core. I am impressed that Will Young has got the courage to tell the world about what he found. In this book there's definitely a certain amount of strength of character.
He then goes onto talk very personally about his family and relationship with his dad and the bullying within the education system and how he reckons LGBTQ is still not addressed properly. What is good, is he backs it up with facts, using The Trevor Project in the USA and Stonewall in the UK for examples and for research into his basis. It makes this a stronger book for it. It's a real mix of facts, figures, his personal experiences and opinions.
He also addresses the layers of being gay, which may be evident if you have a friend who is in the LGBTQ community or are within it yourself. He also backtracks in time and talks about what it was like in the 1980's, drawing upon Freddie Mercury and also the detrimental effect parts of religion has had. He also talks of the effects of AIDS in-relation to some of the "public notices" put out and the effects and then even further in time on the government's "Section 28", which is more in the present times.
He does touch on theatre and film, but more in-terms of role models, or rather lack of role models who are gay and what that would mean to him and also how the stereotyping when writing a role for a gay character and talks of some actors at a particular time.
You can practically feel the pain leaping off the page as he talks about his prep-school years. He's also honest about the growing-up and the sexuality side of that time of life and the opening up to a friend.
There are also moments I'm pretty sure some people would bury, never to be repeated again, but this is enlightening and courageous as he talks about regrets and also the shame he has felt and what he has had to deal with.
He touches on Pop Idol and gaining confidence and although he talks a bit about sex, it isn't in any crude way at all and has a point, but then do does absolutely everything that is written. Everyone can take something away from this book, learn something new or have something clarified or relate to it on all sorts of levels.
He also touches upon the sense of community he does feel and also a bit about volunteer charitable works he is involved in, which, again shows another slice of his life.
Don't get this wrong. This isn't a "poor me" type of book. I've seen those and this definitely is not one of them. This is very different to those. It's inspiring and raising awareness and is thought-provoking in a non-pretentious way, which is impressive. He also doesn't appear to shy away from anything, but tells it how it is for him and it feels honest.
Later, the book moves into his mental health and having a breakdown and PTSD and how it came about and how he seeked help and how he felt. It goes further than that and on closer inspection, there are more parts that are thought-provoking and perhaps some people will also be able to gain, not just knowledge about Will Young, but also certain things that could apply to their lives and that could just assist someone that little bit, but it isn't a self-help book as such though. He delves into the conditions of drealisation and depersonalisation that he has and going into therapy.
He details what he found in another book, other elements that, it doesn't matter who you are, what you do, your sexual orientation, that could be beneficial to people as he describes Perfectionism etc and how that is for him, but really you can transplant your own life, if you are a perfectionist etc. At the end, head to the Appendix. It is very responsibly and thoughtfully got CBT Techniques and then in the second Appendix there is Help and Support contacts.
Will Young writes about how he wanted to connect with himself. The book, I think has enough within it that there will be people who could potentially find it so helpful not to feel alone. The fact that is an extensive list of charities too that specialise in LGBTQ is fabulous. No one should be alone and please, if you are having any issues with mental health or anything, please know that there is support out there. I have listed just a couple from the list Will Young has in his book. They are there for the LGBTQ community and this includes families too.
Links to Support and Mental Health Teams
LGBTQ Foundation
Provides as wide range of services to support lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-people.
https://lgbt.foundation/ Tel: 03453 303030
Mermaids
Charity Supporting young trans people as well as their families.
https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk Tel: 0808 801 0400
Mind Out
LGBTQ+ mental health service
https://www.mindout.org.uk Tel: 01273 234839
July 10, 2023
I listened to this on audio narrated by Will himself. It was an open and honest account of his life as a gay man and the shame he felt and how he has now come to terms with his sexuality and can be his authentic self. Not only is it a good book, insightful and interesting but Will is really funny. His expressions made me laugh. You can imagine having a glass of wine and a good old chin wag with him.
January 6, 2021
Brutally frank and honest. Not exactly a book you can label as enjoyable, but certainly an education nonetheless!
(FYI editors, spotted 2 typographical errors 😯)
(FYI editors, spotted 2 typographical errors 😯)
November 2, 2021
I loved this book. I’m a fan of will youngs music anyway so was really interested in reading his book.
I can say it was worth the read, I would highly recommend any straight or gay person to read this to get an insight into the gay community and things that they have to face.
Absolutely brilliant :)
I can say it was worth the read, I would highly recommend any straight or gay person to read this to get an insight into the gay community and things that they have to face.
Absolutely brilliant :)
February 23, 2022
it was quite a lovely book! it was an easy read be a great one. the way he delved into his own story and shame really helped me discover lots of my own. i thoroughly enjoyed it!!
October 5, 2022
Very much enjoyed this account of Will's experiences around acceptance and shame of his sexuality. Very helpful and open.
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