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Naming the Violence: Speaking Out about Lesbian Battering
Essays tell the stories of battered lesbians and discuss community organizing activities, support groups, and the possible causes of this form of domestic violence
233 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1986
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
March 18, 2017
Published in 1986, the language and ideas of survival sometimes felt out dated as I read this book in the late 1990s and as I flip through it again in 2017.
But I find myself drawn back to this book at various times because the topic is so prevalent in my life and in the lives of my friends. I sometimes want to cry because 30 years after its publication I have found myself having to explain that women can rape women and that domestic violence happens amongst queer couples.
Flipping through, I find notes I made years ago, ones that are still relevant - for example, the idea that abusers are 300 pound men and survivors are 100 pound women are survivors.
The same conversations about women not stepping forward out of fear not necessarily of being outed as lesbian (although that was certainly true, especially when the book was published) but because they don't want to denigrate women or create a negative view of lesbian that may add fuel to the anti-queer fires.
Is this the best book on this topic? absolutely not. There is far more research about domestic violence in the LGBTQ now then there was 30 years ago, but this was an early book in the field (or at least early as far as my limited knowledge). This book shows the continuity and realism of these types of relationships and created a framework for future studies.
This book and all my margin notes will permanently remain in my bookshelf.
But I find myself drawn back to this book at various times because the topic is so prevalent in my life and in the lives of my friends. I sometimes want to cry because 30 years after its publication I have found myself having to explain that women can rape women and that domestic violence happens amongst queer couples.
Flipping through, I find notes I made years ago, ones that are still relevant - for example, the idea that abusers are 300 pound men and survivors are 100 pound women are survivors.
The same conversations about women not stepping forward out of fear not necessarily of being outed as lesbian (although that was certainly true, especially when the book was published) but because they don't want to denigrate women or create a negative view of lesbian that may add fuel to the anti-queer fires.
Is this the best book on this topic? absolutely not. There is far more research about domestic violence in the LGBTQ now then there was 30 years ago, but this was an early book in the field (or at least early as far as my limited knowledge). This book shows the continuity and realism of these types of relationships and created a framework for future studies.
This book and all my margin notes will permanently remain in my bookshelf.
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February 7, 2022Literally just skimmed this for my dissertation but I’m logging it anyway
April 30, 2020
I was able to read book this thanks to the Open Library.
This book documents a significant part history for lesbians in the 80s and earlier. While much of the institutional difficulties have been quashed, society still remains as a critical point for which this anthology still remains relevant.
There are a handful of personal accounts, stories about lesbians trying to organise to deal with the issue of lesbian battering, and guidelines for homophobia workshops. Each voice contains a distinct personality - some speak emotionally about their encounters with violence, while others address their history with a clinical lens. One contributor laments about the struggle of writing questions for a survey regarding lesbian battering, while another admonishes the idea of statistic-gathering and pushes forth for a community-led fight against lesbian battering.
A universal concern among contributors was that lesbian battering damaged two cornerstones of the lesbian community. Firstly, that it disproved the idyllic concept of the lesbian relationship as a utopian example of peace and harmony between female lovers. Secondly, it fueled homophobia, giving non-lesbians the opportunity to further attack the already-vulnerable community.
This book was well-edited, although I do have two comments regarding the contribution. Firstly, it was interesting that no lesbian batterer featured in the book. Several contributors remarked that their ex-partner would be free to tell her side, but not in this book, it seems. Another aspect is the question of bisexual women, who are never mentioned throughout the book (heterosexual women and 'non-lesbian' women are referred to semi-frequently). If their existence posed an inconvenience for the construction of this anthology, I wouldn't be surprised, but with the inclusion of heterosexual women in discussion it is a sad fact that bisexual women are neglected from acknowledgement altogether.
This book documents a significant part history for lesbians in the 80s and earlier. While much of the institutional difficulties have been quashed, society still remains as a critical point for which this anthology still remains relevant.
There are a handful of personal accounts, stories about lesbians trying to organise to deal with the issue of lesbian battering, and guidelines for homophobia workshops. Each voice contains a distinct personality - some speak emotionally about their encounters with violence, while others address their history with a clinical lens. One contributor laments about the struggle of writing questions for a survey regarding lesbian battering, while another admonishes the idea of statistic-gathering and pushes forth for a community-led fight against lesbian battering.
A universal concern among contributors was that lesbian battering damaged two cornerstones of the lesbian community. Firstly, that it disproved the idyllic concept of the lesbian relationship as a utopian example of peace and harmony between female lovers. Secondly, it fueled homophobia, giving non-lesbians the opportunity to further attack the already-vulnerable community.
This book was well-edited, although I do have two comments regarding the contribution. Firstly, it was interesting that no lesbian batterer featured in the book. Several contributors remarked that their ex-partner would be free to tell her side, but not in this book, it seems. Another aspect is the question of bisexual women, who are never mentioned throughout the book (heterosexual women and 'non-lesbian' women are referred to semi-frequently). If their existence posed an inconvenience for the construction of this anthology, I wouldn't be surprised, but with the inclusion of heterosexual women in discussion it is a sad fact that bisexual women are neglected from acknowledgement altogether.
December 27, 2018
I initially picked up this book hoping for anecdotes and documentation of interventions, projects and programs that address lesbian abuse at a time when police and courts were not seen as options. In that respect, I was disappointed. There are many many stories by survivors of violence about experiencing and escaping abusive relationships, but only one (manifesto like piece) made any reference to group or community interventions.
Still, in 1986, I imagine that there were few conversations about domestic violence among lesbians and even fewer books on the topic. So while it wasn't what I, in 2018, was looking for, I imagine it was invaluable to many back then.
Still, in 1986, I imagine that there were few conversations about domestic violence among lesbians and even fewer books on the topic. So while it wasn't what I, in 2018, was looking for, I imagine it was invaluable to many back then.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews