Becoming Nigerian: A Guide

by Elnathan John

Be(com)ing A Guide is a satirical collection that takes a searing look at how different forms of power are abused, negotiated and performed both in the private and public realm.Through attempting to satirise those who abuse privilege or power, it recognises that power can be found in politics, business, religious institutions and in homes. From the exploration of religious hypocrisy in How To Worship The Nigerian God, to A Letter to My Future Kidnapper which tackles the growing scourge of kidnapping, the collection is a jab at Nigerian society and what it means to be a Nigerian. Beyond poking fun at the holders of power, it is a summon, a provocation and a call for introspection among all levels of society. As it is often said in Nigeria, when you point with one finger, there are four others pointing back at you.This is an engrossing read for Nigerian watchers, and strangers to Nigeria alike, with its tongue-in-cheek look at Nigeria's relationship to the world, both culturally and politically.

Genres: Africa, Nigeria, Nonfiction, Satire, Humor, African Literature, Politics

151 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2019

About the author

Elnathan is a writer and lawyer living in spaces between in Nigeria and Germany. Mostly.

His works have appeared in Hazlitt, Per Contra, Le Monde Diplomatique, FT and the Caine Prize for African Writing anthology 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016. He writes weekly political satire for the Nigerian newspaper Daily Trust on Sunday (and any other publication that PAYS him). Except you are The New Yorker, he considers it violence of unimaginable proportions to ask him to write for free. He has never won anything. This record was almost disrupted by the Caine Prize when they accidentally allowed his story on the shortlist in 2013 and again in 2015. Of course, both times, he did not win. He has been shortlisted and longlisted for a few other prizes, but he is content with his position as a serial finalist. It is kind of like being a best man at a wedding - you get to attend the ceremony but you can get drunk, sneak off and hook up without anyone noticing because after all, you are not the groom. In 2008, after being lied to by friends and admirers about the quality of his work, he hastily self-published an embarrassing collection of short stories which has thankfully gone out of print. He hopes to never repeat that foolish mistake.

His novel Born On a Tuesday was published in Nigeria (in 2015), the UK and the US (in 2016) and will be available in German in 2017. Now that he is in between books, nobody seems to want to publish his collection of short stories. This puzzles him. He really loves those stories. His agent also swears that if he publishes his Nigeria satire collection, it will interfer with his chances of being established globally as a serious novelist. He really doesn't care.

Elnathan is touchy about his skin and man boobs and isn't bold enough to grow hair (mostly because he is balding). One day he wants to be able to afford to buy a new, white Golf with shiny rims and a plate number that reads: WRITER. One of his new goals is getting to a weight below his current 100+kg and losing his fast growing beer belly.

Reviews

[Brown Girl Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an excellent read!!! I highly recommend for those who like reading satirical books. This one will have you laughing and shaking your head. Elnathon John does a brilliant job of breaking down what's it like to be Nigerian and to live in Nigeria. I also loved how he ends the chapters with May God bless your hustle. The book is only 145 pages and contains a phrase and expression glossary in the back.I'm not Nigerian but I did enjoy Becoming Nigerian and learned a lot about the culture and practices. After reading this book and Born on a Tuesday I'm looking forward to what Elnathan John writes next.

[K.J. Charles]

A very entertaining satirical look at Nigeria, with side jabs at the UK, US, NGOs and white saviours while we're at it. It's darkly funny about power, corruption and hypocrisy, written with oomph and vigour, and barely a wasted word. I want his novel.

[Oluwafemi Ojosu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no adjectives to describe the genius that is this book. It is a book every 'well meaning' Nigerian should read and as they do so, the Nigerian God will bless their hustle.

[Nina Chachu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reminded me in some ways of Peter Enahoro's classic, How to be a Nigerian, which was published in the early 1980s! That shows how long I have been in this part of the world.

I suspect some of what Elnathan John writes might apply to other countries?

[Azeeza · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really hilarious!

I laughed so much reading this. And I reflected too, because Nigeria’s reality pinched me hard. Elnathan John is a good satirist, he's a good table shaker too, until he starts shaking the one you lie comfortably on.

[Ifeoma · Rating 5 out of 5]

No book has ever made me laugh this much. I enjoyed every single sentence; inasmuch as it is satire, it correctly describes how it is living and hustling in Nigeria depending on the category of profession you fall into and helps us as Nigerians reflect to improve our terrible behaviour. I highly recommend this book.

[Dora Okeyo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Satire at its best and coming from a country that's weighed down by corruption as much as Nigeria, I don't know whether to laugh or weep at how much everything he writes here feels like what I see daily.

In less than 160 pages the author takes you on a trip, a simple guide on how to be Nigerian. Quirky, witty, sharp, brutal, raw...everything that encompasses the art of being and the art of losing oneself at the mercy of a corrupt government.

Perhaps, for me the one chapter that made me stop and truly want to cry was "How to Die" and when I read the line The only crime is dying without having done anything worthy of note. Like dying so poor no one knows your name.

All in all, he speaks truth when he declares at the beginning and it's fair warning that satire is not to be explained.

[Sheila D W · Rating 5 out of 5]

4 5 stars
This book is FUNNY and informational. The author keeps it real. Alot of it applies to Kenya hence relatable asf. Looking forward to more from this author

[Nana Kesewaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am also into satire, so I enjoyed the Elnathan John’s work that critiqued aspects of Nigerian society, mainly religion, politics, migration, and corruption. I enjoyed reading this. A lot of these situations will fit for the Ghanaian society as well. My favorite part of the book was “International Connections” specifically “how to be a foreigner in Nigeria”. This was not entirely satire, but a retelling of how white foreigners behave in other countries. This part also gives voice to the many injustices Nigerians or Africans face due to travel in Europe or America. And the delusions of white saviors. As a black African you are not up to par in your home nor in for example Europe in the eyes of a white person. I think the critique of every aspect of society is needed to identify faults and ways of moving forward from that.
When I read the “Spiritual” part, every sentence in there made me sad. I find it sad how religion is used to con people of their wealth. This is not unique to Nigeria and happens everywhere but the fact that persons remain poor due to forced financial contributions in church which is used to buy cars, houses or private jets instead of investing in their lives is bad.

[Ayooluwa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightfully sarcastic, Becoming Nigerian holds up a mirror to some of the worst parts of Nigerian society (and I suspect it applies to other African countries as well given the reviews I've read). I realised the inanity of some of our cultural norms after reading the author's take on them. For example, why do we attach so much prestige to foreigners? And, how does our government get away with so much trash?

I'd recommend this book for anyone looking to question or laugh at bad behaviour. Just don't laugh too hard if you're not Nigerian, we might take it personally.

[Winnie Gichuru · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed but there are sections I found it a bit underwhelming. but still managed to laugh. The book is not only a depiction of Nigeria but i could see Kenya as well. When you reflect on the reality of it is sad what "we" accept. Elnathan managed makes you laugh, sad, feel stupid etc.

[Rasheedat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Found this book quite underwhelming. Read B.O.A.T years ago, and I had really high hopes for this book.

[Charlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 STARS

I don't know what I expected when this is very clearly titled "A Guide" but I thought there was going to be a plot with characters anyways. However, it delivered what it promised and this is essentially a collection of "tips" about Nigeria - how things are done, how you should behave. The satiric tone made it really fun to read. The book begins with a short preface saying that satire should never be explained which gave this another interesting dimension.

I really enjoyed this, it doesn't take itself too seriously but, at the same time, is really sharp-witted such as when it is described how to behave when addressing a kidnapper.

The final chapters were probably my favorite, listing travel warnings for the US and the UK and commenting on stereotypes.

[Janae (The Modish Geek) · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I am not Nigerian, so "grain of salt"*

"Never, EVER, explain satire." From the jump, John let me know what he was on and I SO enjoyed it! If you're a fan of satire, you will enjoy this book. I shook my head, laughed out loud, and wanted to know more. The call out government corruption and the constant references to blessings hussles was funny. There's not a lot of favorable things highlighted about being Nigerian (or a white travelers or humanitarian issues in the U.S.), but if you can take it for what it is, I think it's worth picking up.

[Ajibola S · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. A thoroughly enjoyable easy read from the undisputed Nigerian king of satire.

[Faith · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF @10%

[Nkiru · Rating 4 out of 5]

Satire at its finest.

[chinwendu odimgbe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really had a good laugh with this book😂

[Etenwa Manuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nigerians are a weird funny bunch. This book shows just that. A satire that highlights the life of Nigerians, what would otherwise be so out of place for an outsider but totally sensible for Nigerians.

It is incredibly funny and amongst other things provokes deep reflections.

[Benny · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny, satirical guide to the Nigerian hustle. It also provide tips to readers on how to avoid having their hustles truncated by fellow Nigerians.

[Chuma · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a hilarious book.
It truly captures the essence of Nigerianism.

[Tolu Jawando · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny

[Muthoni Ngocho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could easily be titled 'How to Be African.' I finished this book and immediately started it again. You know that feeling when you laugh at the absurdity and pain of a situation to make it more bearable? This book had me doing just that. There were so many laugh-out-loud moments—some were pure comedy, others a bit more sobering because they hit so close to home. It’s the perfect balance of humor and reflection, leaving you chuckling one minute and thinking deeply the next.

[Hauwa Samaila · Rating 2 out of 5]

So today I have finally built up the courage to write this half-baked review. Even as a writer, words sometimes fail me. But I promise, it’s fully formed in my head. Simply put: this book did not live up to my expectations( by now you must be thinking- well, which book has?)Anyway, I follow the author on Twitter so every now and then he brings to my timeline short reviews of the book which I must say are all praise. Perhaps because I had discovered the genius that was Elnathan while reading Dantala, I wanted something to match it-desperately. There are however some parts which stood out, which I have of course forgotten, but overall, I think he wrote that book in his sleep. That being said, Becoming Nigerian is an OK book, even good, sometimes, just not good enough for Elnathan.

I feel he could have done more with the writing style???

[Ovie Orumah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Satire at its peak. The book starts perfectly with good humour and a warning or better still, a friendly reminder; "To all who feel personally attacked or offended by something in this book,
With love"

The authors tackles many issues in Nigeria from social issues to just behavioural issues all with a satirical view, regarding everything we do in Nigeria as an "hustle". While the book starts with good humor it quickly depreciates into a sad affair as more and more social issues that has almost become a norm is brought to light leaving an after taste in your mouth.

This is a great read for anyone who cares about Nigeria, looking to make a change in the country or simply just being a Nigerian.

[Amaka Azie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simply hilarious! I found myself laughing out in public while reading this.
Any Nigerian who reads this will agree with most of the points raised by the author about the general understanding of being a Nigerian.
As Nigerians often say , “we understand ourselves”
Quite true.
Most of the behaviour or phrases we are accustomed to can be quite bizarre to foreigners.
Well done to this author for the hilarious satirical exploration of what it means to be Nigerian

[Temitope Oketikun · Rating 1 out of 5]

Although I am aware that this is book is entirely satire, I dislike this book because it simply lacks the most essential tool in literature- dynamic characters. I am completely aware of the character of Nigerians and I feel that he only highlighted negative aspects; that is completely unfair. It is not just unfair, but also not enjoyable. I think I could have really enjoyed this book if he accounted for the true complexity of Nigerians.

[Zainab Hassan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Becoming Nigerian by Elnathan john
Without taking much of your time I will like to thank God that give me the opportunity to review this book with you guys😂
To be sincere this is not the type of genre I normally go for and I was reluctant but it was worthwhile, I love his humor and I can say it is a creative nonfiction,
though I disagree with him on certain aspects but is satirical work after all
"God bless our hustle" is my quote cuz in nigeria we are all hustlers.
⭐⭐⭐

[Rhoda (Lala) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Elnathan John holds a mirror to the Nigerian society with the most hilarious take on politics, religion etc. Amid the laughter, Becoming Nigerian made me reflect on what has become norms in our society.

[Oreoluwa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is totally one of the best I will read this year. Elnathan wrote so well that I laughed so much and was able to think deep too at the issues he raised up in his book.
This book is truly hilarious, insightful and refreshing and it's for the open minded only.