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O marido federal: a liderança bíblica no lar
O pensamento federal é estranho à mente moderna. O termo federal passou a significar simplesmente “centralizado” ou “grande”. Visto que o governo federal tem se tornado cada vez mais antipactual, não surpreende o fato que o significado original da palavra tenha se perdido. Mas, o pensamento federal é a “espinha dorsal” da teologia protestante histórica; e a Igreja precisa recuperar a compreensão pactual da liderança federal. Igualmente, o marido deve liderar a sua família, assumindo a responsabilidade por ela, como um líder pactual — como um marido federal.
144 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 1999
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About the author
Douglas Wilson
319 books4,538 followersI write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 164 reviews
May 18, 2019
Where to begin? I feel like people who like this book read it out of an already solidified agreement with the foundational premise and the practical outworkings Wilson lays out. I couldn't agree with anything beyond a small number of statements he makes here and there, even then struggling to align my thinking with his.
Wilson's central argument (or thesis) is that, as Christ bore our sin in His atoning work on the cross, so husbands ought to live and operate the same way as the heads of their household (marriage and family beneath). He gives many reasons for this, arguing that covenantal relationship is the basis upon which we are in fellowship with God through Christ. But nowhere in Scripture are we, as husbands, called to bear the sin of our household (at least under the new covenant of salvation by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone). I just don't see the Scriptural basis for it. Consequently, because I couldn't get on board with that, much of the book to me read like a personal manifesto based on Wilson's critiques (or disgusts) of modern Christianity and the church's failings. I also had a serious problem with his argument that the "federal husband" is a foundational teaching of Protestantism and Reformed Theology. Based on how he presents it, that's an affront to Reformed theologians and what I've read from authors like Tim Keller and John Piper, both of whom propose a very different approach for biblical manhood.
Needlessly inflammatory, Wilson mocks Promise Keepers-style organizations and (presumably) accountability groups, insisting they are forcing men to behave like women in their way of relating and conversing, stopping only short of lacking breast implants. (I'm not using hyperbole--look it up on page 37.)
I, for one, tend to be more of a Jacob than an Esau: deeply emotional, primarily expressive through words and writing, moved by music, the arts, and conversation, and gifted with an ability to listen and process and think and respond (that all sounds deeply pretentious, but I don't mean it to). According to Wilson's views, I'm more like a woman than a man, and am thereby failing at the calling of biblical manhood, let alone living in unrepentant sin. What am I to do with that?
I can't help but think Wilson would jeer at my objections and comments, dismissing them without any regard, again affirming that the problem is with me, because I refuse to "man up" or repent or live as I ought, so perhaps it is useless to spend any more time explaining why I didn't like this book. I think this book is equally dangerous to the agenda of John Eldredge's Wild at Heart for the exact opposite reasons. (Go read some critical reviews of Wild at Heart to see what I mean.)
Please consider reading Tim and Kathy Keller's book titled The Meaning of Marriage. This gives, I think, a much more reasoned, careful, wise, and Scripturally-founded response to what it means to be in a convenantal marriage, leading a spouse and family in humble submission to Christ.
Wilson's central argument (or thesis) is that, as Christ bore our sin in His atoning work on the cross, so husbands ought to live and operate the same way as the heads of their household (marriage and family beneath). He gives many reasons for this, arguing that covenantal relationship is the basis upon which we are in fellowship with God through Christ. But nowhere in Scripture are we, as husbands, called to bear the sin of our household (at least under the new covenant of salvation by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone). I just don't see the Scriptural basis for it. Consequently, because I couldn't get on board with that, much of the book to me read like a personal manifesto based on Wilson's critiques (or disgusts) of modern Christianity and the church's failings. I also had a serious problem with his argument that the "federal husband" is a foundational teaching of Protestantism and Reformed Theology. Based on how he presents it, that's an affront to Reformed theologians and what I've read from authors like Tim Keller and John Piper, both of whom propose a very different approach for biblical manhood.
Needlessly inflammatory, Wilson mocks Promise Keepers-style organizations and (presumably) accountability groups, insisting they are forcing men to behave like women in their way of relating and conversing, stopping only short of lacking breast implants. (I'm not using hyperbole--look it up on page 37.)
I, for one, tend to be more of a Jacob than an Esau: deeply emotional, primarily expressive through words and writing, moved by music, the arts, and conversation, and gifted with an ability to listen and process and think and respond (that all sounds deeply pretentious, but I don't mean it to). According to Wilson's views, I'm more like a woman than a man, and am thereby failing at the calling of biblical manhood, let alone living in unrepentant sin. What am I to do with that?
I can't help but think Wilson would jeer at my objections and comments, dismissing them without any regard, again affirming that the problem is with me, because I refuse to "man up" or repent or live as I ought, so perhaps it is useless to spend any more time explaining why I didn't like this book. I think this book is equally dangerous to the agenda of John Eldredge's Wild at Heart for the exact opposite reasons. (Go read some critical reviews of Wild at Heart to see what I mean.)
Please consider reading Tim and Kathy Keller's book titled The Meaning of Marriage. This gives, I think, a much more reasoned, careful, wise, and Scripturally-founded response to what it means to be in a convenantal marriage, leading a spouse and family in humble submission to Christ.
July 31, 2019
I picked up some helpful things in this book. It's a short one, but filled with practical application.
Wilson comes from a viewpoint that we don't hear much about these days. It's a great weight (and a good one) for a husband to think about their responsibility for the spiritual state of his wife and children. I found myself being convicted and challenged throughout this book.
Far too often, I am simply looking to keep the peace in our home, filled with young children. Wilson pushed me in this book to set my sights much higher.
There were some short sections that I found especially helpful, such as the need to have reverence for my wife during her pregnancies.
A great quote here: "The biblical mind learns to think in terms of principles and does not sweat the details." He did a great job of sharing the principles (and some specific applications) without drifting into legalism.
Of course, Wilson is courageous and enjoyable in his willingness to buck the culture and write "uncool" things. He hits our rebellious hearts and modern culture and right in the mouth.
"A father is qualified to discipline when he does not “feel like it.” And when he emotionally 'feels like it,' he is not qualified. Discipline of the child must therefore begin with self-discipline."
"A father should take special care to be warm and cheerful after discipline."
I also liked the section on weddings. The importance of the wedding feast, wedding adornment, and the ceremony itself.
I'm not nearly a strong enough theologian to know if some of the thoughts in this book are controversial. We would do well with more writers and thinkers like Wilson.
Wilson comes from a viewpoint that we don't hear much about these days. It's a great weight (and a good one) for a husband to think about their responsibility for the spiritual state of his wife and children. I found myself being convicted and challenged throughout this book.
Far too often, I am simply looking to keep the peace in our home, filled with young children. Wilson pushed me in this book to set my sights much higher.
There were some short sections that I found especially helpful, such as the need to have reverence for my wife during her pregnancies.
A great quote here: "The biblical mind learns to think in terms of principles and does not sweat the details." He did a great job of sharing the principles (and some specific applications) without drifting into legalism.
Of course, Wilson is courageous and enjoyable in his willingness to buck the culture and write "uncool" things. He hits our rebellious hearts and modern culture and right in the mouth.
"A father is qualified to discipline when he does not “feel like it.” And when he emotionally 'feels like it,' he is not qualified. Discipline of the child must therefore begin with self-discipline."
"A father should take special care to be warm and cheerful after discipline."
I also liked the section on weddings. The importance of the wedding feast, wedding adornment, and the ceremony itself.
I'm not nearly a strong enough theologian to know if some of the thoughts in this book are controversial. We would do well with more writers and thinkers like Wilson.
May 7, 2016
"Federal Husband" is author Douglas Wilson's second tome on the subject of family and marriage. According to the Prologue, the impetus for writing it stemmed from two motivations: the safety in reemphasizing the themes of his first book, "Reforming Marriage" (ala Phil. 3:1), and the xenophobia of the modern mind toward covenantal (i.e. federal) thinking. Hence, in this book, Wilson considers the role of a husband from its proper federal perspective (i.e. from a covenantal point of view).
Wilson develops the book through four sections. Section one (“Federal Husband and Christ”) focuses the relationship of husbandry to covenantal thinking in general and to Christ's federal headship in particular. This section is filled with many valuable observations, including the importance of living out a theology of the cross and Jesus' faithfulness in fulfilling his federal role as the head of the Church. The second section, entitled “Federal Husband Against Himself,” focuses on the tendency of Christian husbands and fathers to subvert their own federal roles in both how they think and how they act. Wilson's comments here are as wide as they are deep. The Bible not only shows men their sin and their need to treat their wives with proper respect. But the Scriptures also lay bare the lies of our current culture, especially with regard to gender and their respective roles (namely that, according to the world, there are none). Consequently, Wilson has advice for men on how biblical masculinity should express itself from clothes to hair to jewelry. But most importantly, a Christian federalist ought to be defined by his practical wisdom and industry, especially of the spiritual kind. “Federal Husband and Society,” the third section, observes the undeniable reality of cultural hierarchy, urges real men to accept it (even if they don't like it), and ends by lambasting the modern idea of women serving in combat. The last section, “Federal Father,” urges Christian men to embrace fatherhood as organic to their federal role as husbands. This begins with honoring pregnancy and seeing children as the blessed fruit of covenant homes. It continues with cultivating the roots of biblical family life, recognizing our children's sins while nurturing their unique differences, and discipling them through the principles of biblical discipline. All of this should ultimately express itself in fathers teaching their sons how to look for a proper wife. Oddly, the corresponding advice for fathers to their daughters is missing, but perhaps one can find it in "Her Hand in Marriage," another Wilson volume that this section mentions in passing.
For all if this book's strengths (and they are manifold, both in terms of practical application and philosophical analysis), the sad story is that it misses the most important part of being a Christian husband and father. And that's grace. For this reviewer, such a massive blunder is inseparable from Wilson's wider associations with the Federal Vision (FV) movement. His opening remarks regarding the meaning of “federal” or “covenant”—-that such an idea is “the backbone of historic Protestant orthodoxy”—-are representative of the covenantal overemphasis (rationalism is a better, if bigger, word) of the FV. Both historically and biblically, the backbone of Protestant orthodoxy has not been federalism (see, e.g., the general silence of Luther), but rather the doctrine of justification by grace alone through faith. While having federal underpinnings, this doctrine is fundamentally not about practicing federalism in the great family-church-society complex, but about living in gratitude to God (in every area of life, but especially in the society known as the Church) for his grace in Jesus Christ. This neglect of grace is no doubt a consequence of Wilson's and the FV's conflation of the covenant of life/works and the covenant of grace. The result in this book, as with FV doctrine in general, is reference to the active obedience of Christ as model for our own living (dare I say works?), rather than primarily as the good news upon which Christian fathers and husbands can hope when faced with the painful knowledge of their own inadequacies and ignorance (which, I am not ashamed to say, is the grace of faith).
If you are looking for a book on being a better father and husband, I would recommend something from Dr. Joel Beeke, such as "Parenting By God's Promises." You will get all of the same practical and philosophical strengths of Wilson, but with a better covenant having much more of the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Wilson develops the book through four sections. Section one (“Federal Husband and Christ”) focuses the relationship of husbandry to covenantal thinking in general and to Christ's federal headship in particular. This section is filled with many valuable observations, including the importance of living out a theology of the cross and Jesus' faithfulness in fulfilling his federal role as the head of the Church. The second section, entitled “Federal Husband Against Himself,” focuses on the tendency of Christian husbands and fathers to subvert their own federal roles in both how they think and how they act. Wilson's comments here are as wide as they are deep. The Bible not only shows men their sin and their need to treat their wives with proper respect. But the Scriptures also lay bare the lies of our current culture, especially with regard to gender and their respective roles (namely that, according to the world, there are none). Consequently, Wilson has advice for men on how biblical masculinity should express itself from clothes to hair to jewelry. But most importantly, a Christian federalist ought to be defined by his practical wisdom and industry, especially of the spiritual kind. “Federal Husband and Society,” the third section, observes the undeniable reality of cultural hierarchy, urges real men to accept it (even if they don't like it), and ends by lambasting the modern idea of women serving in combat. The last section, “Federal Father,” urges Christian men to embrace fatherhood as organic to their federal role as husbands. This begins with honoring pregnancy and seeing children as the blessed fruit of covenant homes. It continues with cultivating the roots of biblical family life, recognizing our children's sins while nurturing their unique differences, and discipling them through the principles of biblical discipline. All of this should ultimately express itself in fathers teaching their sons how to look for a proper wife. Oddly, the corresponding advice for fathers to their daughters is missing, but perhaps one can find it in "Her Hand in Marriage," another Wilson volume that this section mentions in passing.
For all if this book's strengths (and they are manifold, both in terms of practical application and philosophical analysis), the sad story is that it misses the most important part of being a Christian husband and father. And that's grace. For this reviewer, such a massive blunder is inseparable from Wilson's wider associations with the Federal Vision (FV) movement. His opening remarks regarding the meaning of “federal” or “covenant”—-that such an idea is “the backbone of historic Protestant orthodoxy”—-are representative of the covenantal overemphasis (rationalism is a better, if bigger, word) of the FV. Both historically and biblically, the backbone of Protestant orthodoxy has not been federalism (see, e.g., the general silence of Luther), but rather the doctrine of justification by grace alone through faith. While having federal underpinnings, this doctrine is fundamentally not about practicing federalism in the great family-church-society complex, but about living in gratitude to God (in every area of life, but especially in the society known as the Church) for his grace in Jesus Christ. This neglect of grace is no doubt a consequence of Wilson's and the FV's conflation of the covenant of life/works and the covenant of grace. The result in this book, as with FV doctrine in general, is reference to the active obedience of Christ as model for our own living (dare I say works?), rather than primarily as the good news upon which Christian fathers and husbands can hope when faced with the painful knowledge of their own inadequacies and ignorance (which, I am not ashamed to say, is the grace of faith).
If you are looking for a book on being a better father and husband, I would recommend something from Dr. Joel Beeke, such as "Parenting By God's Promises." You will get all of the same practical and philosophical strengths of Wilson, but with a better covenant having much more of the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
June 9, 2022
To understand what a husband is, you have to understand what a covenant is. A home without the covenant is just a boarding house.
Wilson does a wonderful job laying a theological groundwork for a solid marriage and family while also giving good pastoral advice for how a husband can apply covenantal framework to their decisions, behavior, and leadership.
Wilson does a wonderful job laying a theological groundwork for a solid marriage and family while also giving good pastoral advice for how a husband can apply covenantal framework to their decisions, behavior, and leadership.
September 2, 2022
Excellent. Many people would disagree with this material, but I hope they hear Doug’s refrain: federal headship is about men bearing the responsibility for their households. That’s what this book is largely about.
December 28, 2018
Really good, applicable Bible-grounded stuff at the beginning. The second half veers toward preference.
My two main questions are these:
1) The church is made up of families, yes, but Paul is clear that it's a home for those without families, as well (1 Cor. 7, Eph. 2, 1 Tim. 5). If federal headship (husband over wife, father over children) is the foundation, where do these Christians fit in? To put it another way, to what extent do the structures of the old covenant, including federal headship through direct descent, play into the structures of the new, where headship is determined by faith (Gal. 3)?
2) I worry that a husband and father will skip right over the "assume full responsibility before God for the spiritual condition of his household" part (maybe dip his toes in it) and immediately start ordering his family around. I wish the book had spent more time explaining what it means to assume full responsibility. How does a husband know when that has settled in his marrow? More importantly, what can we put to to convince a power-hungry husband that he is not ready to start giving orders?
My two main questions are these:
1) The church is made up of families, yes, but Paul is clear that it's a home for those without families, as well (1 Cor. 7, Eph. 2, 1 Tim. 5). If federal headship (husband over wife, father over children) is the foundation, where do these Christians fit in? To put it another way, to what extent do the structures of the old covenant, including federal headship through direct descent, play into the structures of the new, where headship is determined by faith (Gal. 3)?
2) I worry that a husband and father will skip right over the "assume full responsibility before God for the spiritual condition of his household" part (maybe dip his toes in it) and immediately start ordering his family around. I wish the book had spent more time explaining what it means to assume full responsibility. How does a husband know when that has settled in his marrow? More importantly, what can we put to to convince a power-hungry husband that he is not ready to start giving orders?
November 11, 2022
This is a great, short read on covenant headship and masculinity. Wilson shows that God deals with man through covenants. Marriage is a covenant between a man and woman before God. The marriage covenant has implications that Wilson works through biblically.
Man is the covenant head within marriage--this does not mean power, but authority and responsibility. Man is accountable to God for the actions of his wife and children, and thus must intercede for them, and recognize his responsibility for sin and discord within his family.
Wilson then works through this idea into broader aspects of life including culturally and politically. This is a great and important work for men--particularly husbands.
Highly recommended.
Man is the covenant head within marriage--this does not mean power, but authority and responsibility. Man is accountable to God for the actions of his wife and children, and thus must intercede for them, and recognize his responsibility for sin and discord within his family.
Wilson then works through this idea into broader aspects of life including culturally and politically. This is a great and important work for men--particularly husbands.
Highly recommended.
December 2, 2025
Rock solid and clear. Convicting all around and also encouraging in some of the areas where I have come to see these things and apply to my own life over the years. Most helpful for me was the Scriptural grounding for approaching marriage/family "covenantally"...because that is how God always relates to us. Also some excellent side trails discussing masculinity as a whole, as well as parenting. Wilson is so good in this whole area.
November 23, 2023
A great little book on biblical principles applied to husbands / fathers / men. If you want to be a biblical man in these roles — or if you want to find one — give this book a read.
Has some interesting new thoughts on the relationship between the “head” and the household as modeled after Christ’s relationship to the church.
Warrants a reread every now and again as a refresher on key passages and principles.
Has some interesting new thoughts on the relationship between the “head” and the household as modeled after Christ’s relationship to the church.
Warrants a reread every now and again as a refresher on key passages and principles.
November 21, 2025
This lays out a conservative, reformed, covenantal vision of marriage. “Federal” here means covenantal (from the Latin foedus), so the book is really about the "Covenantal Husband". Wilson’s central call is simple yet radical: as covenant head, the husband bears total responsibility for the entire household—spiritually and practically. When problems arise (conflict, money, sex, anything), he owns them fully, whether he’s personally at fault or not. Blame and responsibility are not the same; she confesses her sin, he confesses his, and then he also takes responsibility for the overall spiritual state of the home. In an age of passive, abdicating husbands, this is shocking and offensive—but desperately needed. The book revolutionized my view of marriage when I first read it, and rereading it now only confirms I should keep it on regular rotation. Bracing, convicting, encouraging—if you’re a husband, this book will be a wonderful encouragement and reproof. Rated 4 stars because of some generalized Presbyterian confusion, but this should be treated as a "chew up the meat and spit out the bones" kind of situation.
March 9, 2019
Patriarchy defense 101. Did you know that as the man you can decided how clean you want your home and when the food should be ready when you get home from work, and if your wife doesn't cooperate she's "in rebellion"? Women don't even get to vote in the church and (ideally) in politics either.
May 7, 2023
A really good book overall but, as is my complaint with most Doug Wilson books, it reads more like a collection of blog posts around the same topic rather than a coherent whole. The first chapter of this book is the most substantial and is, in my opinion, the main point of the book. Essentially Wilson argues that since Christian men are called to be the head of their wives as Christ is the head of the church and Christ is the federal head of the church, therefore Christian men should understand their relationship to their spouse and family as federal. Essentially this means treating the family as a unit rather than a collection of individuals with the husband exercising authority with the corresponding responsibility. The rest of the book after the first chapter is assorted discussions of varying utility on different implications of this idea.
In short, I think the strength of the book is in fighting against seeing a family as merely a collection of individuals. The book is a much needed corrective on what a Christian family really is. Wilson lays many heavy responsibilities on the husband and father as the federal head, but he does a good job of reminding the reader that this is all based in Gods own promises and covenant.
In short, I think the strength of the book is in fighting against seeing a family as merely a collection of individuals. The book is a much needed corrective on what a Christian family really is. Wilson lays many heavy responsibilities on the husband and father as the federal head, but he does a good job of reminding the reader that this is all based in Gods own promises and covenant.
June 29, 2022
Wilson knocks it out of the park when it comes to family life. This is no exception. A few big ideas I enjoyed were that loving my wife as Christ loves the church really does mean loving her as her federal head, and that dealing with sin in my household isn't simply a matter of ignoring it (this letting the world sweep my children away) or confronting it harshly (this driving my kiddos away)--but rather, it begins with recognizing that (even though they are individuals), sin in my family really points to my own personal failure to lead them well. I also really liked Wilson's point about the biblical beauty of pregnancy, and how we need to connect attitudes and the way we speak to that value.
January 17, 2024
Much appreciated. In addition to talking in general about the covenant responsibilities of a husband, goes through a surprising number of specific scenarios that a husband might have to go through and offers biblical advice. He also has some interesting suggestions about how certain wedding traditions can be revived / adapted for modern times.
May 10, 2010
I liked this book a lot. It spurred a lot of conversation between my husband and I, and we found it to be very positive in the direction it leads families. I read it though, not him,(though he was filled in continually) and about a chapter or two in I was wondering if I wanted him to read it ...it started to come down hard on the wife's responsibilities and such, and listing gripes men have against women. Oh, that part about calling in the elders because she didn't do the dishes(I'm simlipfying), about did me in. However, the farther I read the more I saw how truly beautiful the design described could be when the husband loves his wife to such depths, and when he takes responsibility for the state of the family. It wouldnt be a hardship to live in a household such as this where the husband is a godly, gentle man. I particularly like the illustration of the theif- does the theif's head blame his hands for a crime? No, they are one...it is the head's fault as much as the hands...so it is in a marriage where the man is the head - he is responsible for the wife's issues as they are one just the same. I liked that idea. It impressed upon me that much more how my choices affect my husband in this life and the next. The author also touched on topics I wasn't expecting such as hair(beards are sexy, oh, and godly), earings(sign of a slave), women in combat(they just are plain not as good), and discipline of children(with love and regularity). This is my first marriage book for the man that I have read. I usually read the books for the women, but I wanted to be nosey and see what they read too! I liked it, though the whole covenant thing...I think this author takes too far, but that's the baptist in me coming out.
December 13, 2018
I was not impressed with this book as much as I was with his other books. "Praise Her in the Gates", "The Case for Classical Christian Education" and "Heaven Misplaced" were all extraordinary in comparison to this one. I might have this opinion because I feel like some of this information was repeated in his other books. I feel like the majority of the content was rather surface-level and didn't go into Douglas Wilson's normal depth; his usual depth and the revelation it subsequently brings is what I was looking and hoping for.
It seems like this book is directed at men who really don't understand that they are the head of their households. Men that might fall into this category as suggested in the book are ones that have been taken over in one form or another by feminism, becoming too feminine themselves and forsaking biblical masculinity.
"...the husband is responsible for all the problems...just as Christ as the head assumed all the responsibility for all the sins of all his people."
I'm still a major fan of Douglas Wilson, just not a major fan of this particular piece of his work.
It seems like this book is directed at men who really don't understand that they are the head of their households. Men that might fall into this category as suggested in the book are ones that have been taken over in one form or another by feminism, becoming too feminine themselves and forsaking biblical masculinity.
"...the husband is responsible for all the problems...just as Christ as the head assumed all the responsibility for all the sins of all his people."
I'm still a major fan of Douglas Wilson, just not a major fan of this particular piece of his work.
June 13, 2024
Wilson makes some good points in the book, but he works more from assumptions than sound exegesis and discerning application for the present day. For instance, Wilson argues that men should not receive piercings because piercings were used by would-be freemen to continue in servitude with good masters (Deut 15:17) (p. 49). A man who receives a piercing necessarily becomes subservient to another. This argument is made without regard to the cultural significance attached to piercings in different times and places. I could mention other examples, but this one suffices to show the types of jumps Wilson makes in the book.
April 13, 2010
I always recommend this book for anyone who wants to know what covenant theology applied looks like. If you don't understand why covenant theology is so important, read this book. If you want to repent of your dispensational-baptist theology, then definitely read this book. It's covenant theology coming out the finger tips.
Just re-read this with some other guys in my church. Wilson never fails to bring the heat with a whole lot of grace. Will be reading this one a few times before I die.
Just re-read this with some other guys in my church. Wilson never fails to bring the heat with a whole lot of grace. Will be reading this one a few times before I die.
May 30, 2020
This one was a nice ending to my Douglas Wilson reading spree. I thought it did well in tying up all the topics into one book. Marriage, courtship, parenting, etc. Some of the highlights were his stress on husbands taking responsibility for his home, this is lacking so much in today's culture. I also appreciated the note of parents being united before their children. Also, Wilson's loud call for masculinity and femininity was very encouraging!
4.0-4.5 stars
4.0-4.5 stars
February 20, 2013
Absolutely love this book. It challenges me probably every day to live in greater fullness of my headship in my marriage. It's a little feisty, but even if you don't agree with everything, read it. It will make you think. Hard. It will make you a better husband and father.
Also, Wilson is a beard advocate, so what can I say against him?
Also, Wilson is a beard advocate, so what can I say against him?
December 23, 2019
This book has the standard problem in all of Wilson's writings. He takes an idea that is okay in its own right and then applies it everywhere it shouldn't be. Society is covenantal. I agree. There are overlapping concentric covenants in society. So far, so good. My questions, though:
1) Who was Lydia's covenant head?
2) Who was Deborah's covenant head?
1) Who was Lydia's covenant head?
2) Who was Deborah's covenant head?
October 10, 2018
A lot of helpful wisdom here. Doug certainly hits on the feminists, but I was struck by the fact that he also hits on the "masculinists." Nobody who reads Doug charitably can avoid the fact that he's avoiding both sides of the ditch. A simple contrarian would simply hit the left.
March 2, 2021
A much needed call for biblical masculinity.
"Respect for women is not a capitulation to feminism but rather the only antidote to it."
"Respect for women is not a capitulation to feminism but rather the only antidote to it."
March 30, 2021
The marriage covenant between a man and a woman is analogous of the marriage covenant of the Christ and the Church. This means a poor understanding of one necessarily creates a poor enactment of the other. On the other hand it means that the template of a God glorifying marriage is set before us in the scriptures. We are not left to wander without a guide. Far from it, the Lord Jesus Christ, as revealed in the Scriptures shows what it means to be a faithful and true covenantal husband.
Douglas Wilson has his finger on the pulse in this book and does a very good job at it. The book is structured more or less along the lines of sphere sovereignty. This enables the man to view his federal headship in the realm of the different spheres present within what I would call God's economy. It is a book well worth reading
Douglas Wilson has his finger on the pulse in this book and does a very good job at it. The book is structured more or less along the lines of sphere sovereignty. This enables the man to view his federal headship in the realm of the different spheres present within what I would call God's economy. It is a book well worth reading
April 19, 2025
meh, some good things in here to be sure, but also not my favorite. his critiques of the culture are absolutely correct. many specific applications he makes are good. But there is lots of painting with a broad brush (i.e., it feels like he thinks I do not love my wife properly because I do not adhere to covenant theology) and somewhat provocative language that was unnecessary and unhelpful. Overall, I would find something else to recommend to people.
I also read this largely because I wanted to give Doug Wilson a chance because I've heard many negative things from him but also know some who have been helped by him. I would say that this has not really improved my perception of him on the whole, though I can better understand his gifted communication style and why that is attractive and sometimes helpful.
I also read this largely because I wanted to give Doug Wilson a chance because I've heard many negative things from him but also know some who have been helped by him. I would say that this has not really improved my perception of him on the whole, though I can better understand his gifted communication style and why that is attractive and sometimes helpful.
September 14, 2022
Douglas Wilson has, again, put a 500 page book into just over over 100 pages. He goes over everything dealing with male headship from women in the military to finding a wife. Throughout different topics, Wilson goes into details on how to “stay out of the ditches” as well. Adding another layer on how to practice these spiritual disciplines.
Great book.
Great book.
February 19, 2018
Good medicine for a perpetual epidemic for which there are no natural immunities, only healing in the wounds of Christ, who therein demonstrated how a husband is to love his wife—federally, that is, covenantally.
June 6, 2020
As always, incredibly helpful.
April 24, 2022
One of the most insightful books I’ve read on what it really looks like to take on the biblical responsibilities of being a husband. It was incredibly helpful to consider and think about what a covenant is and how the biblical covenants relate to one another, especially for how a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Definitely worth a read.
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