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London Stories #3
Blue Jay
Boxing was all Alex had ever known, his entire being now shattered beyond repair. One night and four years in jail changed everything. These days, Alex prefers the shadows and dreams of nightmares. Will he find rainbows and glitters in the run-down flat he’s moving into?
Chris has been selling their looks and body for too long. It may be time for a life change, but one thing is clear. The fairest of them all will make a lousy lover until they stop acting the smart-mouthed and blasé cynic. Their story begins with an elegant tango up the narrow stairwell…
A match made in London.
Featuring Chris from Liam for Hire, Blue Jay is a hopeful and romantic story with genderqueer and bisexual characters.
Chris has been selling their looks and body for too long. It may be time for a life change, but one thing is clear. The fairest of them all will make a lousy lover until they stop acting the smart-mouthed and blasé cynic. Their story begins with an elegant tango up the narrow stairwell…
A match made in London.
Featuring Chris from Liam for Hire, Blue Jay is a hopeful and romantic story with genderqueer and bisexual characters.
- GenresRomanceM M RomanceLGBT
308 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 4, 2019
1 person is currently reading
57 people want to read
About the author
A. Zukowski
7 books43 followersI am a London-based British writer who grew up in the gay village and red light district of Manchester.
I was trained in screenwriting at the University of the Arts London; National Film & Television School and Script Factory, UK, followed by various misadventures as a film journalist, and writer and producer of short films.
My stories are based on personal and emotional experiences, and feature strong LGBTQ-identified characters.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/saszazukowski
Blog: http://azukowskiblog.wordpress.com
FB: http://www.facebook.com/a.zukowski.353
Tumblr: http://azukowski.tumblr.com
I was trained in screenwriting at the University of the Arts London; National Film & Television School and Script Factory, UK, followed by various misadventures as a film journalist, and writer and producer of short films.
My stories are based on personal and emotional experiences, and feature strong LGBTQ-identified characters.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/saszazukowski
Blog: http://azukowskiblog.wordpress.com
FB: http://www.facebook.com/a.zukowski.353
Tumblr: http://azukowski.tumblr.com
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
November 22, 2019
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.5 stars
Blue Jay is a book that takes you on a journey. I enjoyed how both story and characters are not boxed in by convention. Chris’ changing pronouns are one example of this. Sometimes, Chris identifies as a woman, sometimes a man, sometimes as both or neither. I liked how this facet of Chris’ person flows from scene to scene. It’s telling that Chris sometimes assumes a specific role because they know it’ll make navigating a social situation easier (like when Chris first meets Alex’s family). Similarly, there are no big scenes where someone meets Chris for the first time and there is the pronoun talk. Also, I got the impression that depictions of Chris’ gender were largely controlled by them. To be sure, there are many points where outsiders try to rob Chris of their agency, but on the whole, I felt like I got to know how Chris identified from the character themself.
Read Camille’s review in its entirety here.
4.5 stars
Blue Jay is a book that takes you on a journey. I enjoyed how both story and characters are not boxed in by convention. Chris’ changing pronouns are one example of this. Sometimes, Chris identifies as a woman, sometimes a man, sometimes as both or neither. I liked how this facet of Chris’ person flows from scene to scene. It’s telling that Chris sometimes assumes a specific role because they know it’ll make navigating a social situation easier (like when Chris first meets Alex’s family). Similarly, there are no big scenes where someone meets Chris for the first time and there is the pronoun talk. Also, I got the impression that depictions of Chris’ gender were largely controlled by them. To be sure, there are many points where outsiders try to rob Chris of their agency, but on the whole, I felt like I got to know how Chris identified from the character themself.
Read Camille’s review in its entirety here.
October 4, 2019
I absolutely love the author’s prose, in that way of swooning over it and wishing I could write such beautiful sentences. It’s gorgeous and emotional and sensual. It has almost a poetic flow to it. I’m not sure how to describe the exact feeling I have while reading. It’s more than just a tug-on-the-heartstrings kind of emotional reaction. It’s more like I felt from the start that I would be changed by the story.
The characters are wonderful. I have to admit, even though I love Alex, it’s Chris who won me over right from the first page. My very favorite thing about this book is the smooth, natural shifts in Chris’s internal sense of self. Chris is not intended to represent every single gender fluid person ever, but I can say that I do know people who are very similar in their personality and expression. (Full disclosure: I am a non-binary person, but I am not gender fluid, so I cannot speak directly to the experience.) I appreciate the switches in pronouns because I believe strongly that we need people to become accustomed to both singular they and people whose pronouns change (over time or day to day). Yes, that makes some people uncomfortable, but sometimes we need that discomfort in order to learn and grow.
And that is the other thing I love about the story. The characters do learn and grow. Slowly, yes, but I feel that given their histories, everything needed to progress at a cautious pace. It never felt as though they were stalling for the sake of dragging things out. Instead, it felt very much like two people going through natural stages in their developing relationship.
The use of shifting pronouns isn’t the only way the book challenges readers. Chris is a sex worker, wise and experienced, and this is primarily shown as being simply another kind of job. What I find interesting is that Alex hates his job, but Chris doesn’t. This isn’t “humanizing” sex workers (who are already very much human, thankyouverymuch), nor is it a Pretty Woman scenario. In fact, it all feels most of the time very ordinary.
Some readers may find it a stretch to acclimate to the present tense used throughout. Personally, I like it, but I’m not picky about that kind of thing. In this book, I think it works extremely well. It provides a kind of immersion that’s needed for the slow-burn, character-driven narrative.
Overall, this is extremely well-written. It’s the first one in the series I’ve read, and even though there are references to previous stories, I don’t believe it’s necessary to have read them first. Though not having done so, I may not have enough context to say for sure.
Excellent book, and I definitely recommend it for people who enjoy queer romance.
The characters are wonderful. I have to admit, even though I love Alex, it’s Chris who won me over right from the first page. My very favorite thing about this book is the smooth, natural shifts in Chris’s internal sense of self. Chris is not intended to represent every single gender fluid person ever, but I can say that I do know people who are very similar in their personality and expression. (Full disclosure: I am a non-binary person, but I am not gender fluid, so I cannot speak directly to the experience.) I appreciate the switches in pronouns because I believe strongly that we need people to become accustomed to both singular they and people whose pronouns change (over time or day to day). Yes, that makes some people uncomfortable, but sometimes we need that discomfort in order to learn and grow.
And that is the other thing I love about the story. The characters do learn and grow. Slowly, yes, but I feel that given their histories, everything needed to progress at a cautious pace. It never felt as though they were stalling for the sake of dragging things out. Instead, it felt very much like two people going through natural stages in their developing relationship.
The use of shifting pronouns isn’t the only way the book challenges readers. Chris is a sex worker, wise and experienced, and this is primarily shown as being simply another kind of job. What I find interesting is that Alex hates his job, but Chris doesn’t. This isn’t “humanizing” sex workers (who are already very much human, thankyouverymuch), nor is it a Pretty Woman scenario. In fact, it all feels most of the time very ordinary.
Some readers may find it a stretch to acclimate to the present tense used throughout. Personally, I like it, but I’m not picky about that kind of thing. In this book, I think it works extremely well. It provides a kind of immersion that’s needed for the slow-burn, character-driven narrative.
Overall, this is extremely well-written. It’s the first one in the series I’ve read, and even though there are references to previous stories, I don’t believe it’s necessary to have read them first. Though not having done so, I may not have enough context to say for sure.
Excellent book, and I definitely recommend it for people who enjoy queer romance.
February 19, 2020
Blue Jay
By A. Zukowski
Beaten Track Publishing, 2019
Five stars
For a sixty-something Kinsey 6 boomer such as I, Zukowski’s novels push boundaries and force me to explore aspects of contemporary LGBTQ+ life that at moments seem as alien as they often do to straight people. This is a good thing. Having to grapple with beautifully-crafted complex characters like Alex and Jay opened up my mind and my heart to new truths – and that’s something for which one is never too old. There are things in this book that made me uncomfortable, and for that I am grateful.
As an author, Zukowski loves Alex – big and brooding and tattooed – as much as he loves Jay – beautiful and androgynous. Alex, a once-famous professional boxer, is newly out of prison for a terrible crime that he committed unwittingly. He is determined to cast off his past and to explore his attraction to men. Jay, former child star, gender non-binary and getting by as an escort, struggles every day to maintain his integrity in the face of social side-eye and potential violence. Somehow, in the midst of his less-than-serene life, Jay has never lost his compassionate heart and his need for love. Forced by circumstance into an awkward roommate situation, and somewhat to both their surprises, Jay finds himself drawn to the lumbering, quietly intelligent, Alex. Each finds in the other something for which they yearn, and together they push toward a happiness that neither money nor fame can give them.
Zukowski is an author who knows how to “show” rather than preach. He draws us into the world of his wounded characters, but he makes sure we know why they deserve to be loved, why we must embrace them in all their flawed humanity. He gives us humor, sorrow, and little emotional surprises along the way. “Blue Jay” was an epiphany for me, and left me with a bigger heart and an expanded mind.
By A. Zukowski
Beaten Track Publishing, 2019
Five stars
For a sixty-something Kinsey 6 boomer such as I, Zukowski’s novels push boundaries and force me to explore aspects of contemporary LGBTQ+ life that at moments seem as alien as they often do to straight people. This is a good thing. Having to grapple with beautifully-crafted complex characters like Alex and Jay opened up my mind and my heart to new truths – and that’s something for which one is never too old. There are things in this book that made me uncomfortable, and for that I am grateful.
As an author, Zukowski loves Alex – big and brooding and tattooed – as much as he loves Jay – beautiful and androgynous. Alex, a once-famous professional boxer, is newly out of prison for a terrible crime that he committed unwittingly. He is determined to cast off his past and to explore his attraction to men. Jay, former child star, gender non-binary and getting by as an escort, struggles every day to maintain his integrity in the face of social side-eye and potential violence. Somehow, in the midst of his less-than-serene life, Jay has never lost his compassionate heart and his need for love. Forced by circumstance into an awkward roommate situation, and somewhat to both their surprises, Jay finds himself drawn to the lumbering, quietly intelligent, Alex. Each finds in the other something for which they yearn, and together they push toward a happiness that neither money nor fame can give them.
Zukowski is an author who knows how to “show” rather than preach. He draws us into the world of his wounded characters, but he makes sure we know why they deserve to be loved, why we must embrace them in all their flawed humanity. He gives us humor, sorrow, and little emotional surprises along the way. “Blue Jay” was an epiphany for me, and left me with a bigger heart and an expanded mind.
October 9, 2019
So, I need to forewarn you. If you’ve read this series, you know these books have some very dark times and dark moments. Life isn’t always pretty and these books don’t pull any punches. You get to see the harsher side of life where people often don’t want to look or ignore. But it’s there and will never go away until more people start taking a stand. If you haven’t read these books, you need to start with book 1, The Boy Who Fell to Earth. If you haven’t read these books, I will tell you they are some of the best written I’ve ever read, but as I said, it doesn’t paint a pretty picture. This story in particular deals with a gender fluid/gender queer individual who’s live has been hell on Earth. They’ve been bullied, beaten, raped, cut up and just about anything you can think of. All because they were different. They couldn’t even rely on their own mother. It also deals with a man who is bisexual but has had to repress that side of him because of his celebrity status. Because of drugs and alcohol, he committed vehicular homicide, and has to deal with that grief every day. And just because these things happened in the past, doesn’t mean they aren’t still happening now. It’s a dark story, that shows the darker sides of life, and even though it may have a happy ending, you really need to take these books to heart. Kids like these are on the streets and stuff or living horrid lives every day because no one steps in and everyone turns a blind eye. We have to make a stand.
For Chris, they knew they were different from a young age. They like both genders and wanted to be both genders. Although born a boy, they related to be a girl just as much and loved the makeup and looking pretty as much as wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But with all they have been through, they’ve learned to take things at face value and take things as they come. They don’t necessarily believe in love, because they’ve never been shown any. But when Alex moves in, Alex finds a way to start digging under that wall Chris has built up. They’re terrified because love never works for him and it will be just one more person who doesn’t accept them the way they are or what they do for a living. But Alex is different. And I love it. I love these two. The sass between them, the banter, the wit back and forth. The verbal sparring. It’s hilarious, but it’s also important. They are getting to know each other through it and Alex is learning who he really is. Sure, he goofs and gets terminology wrong, which Chris never fails to call him on lol, but Alex keeps trying and for once in his life, he’s free to be himself. Which is very attracted to Chris. No matter which gender form he may be in. That’s what I love about these two. Alex accepts Chris without blinking an eye. He doesn’t care much for the whole prostitution thing, but it’s more for worrying of Chris’s safety. And Chris knows all about Alex’s background, after Alex told him, and still cares for the man regardless. They may both feel broken and cold and without a heart, but these are actually two of the most caring people ever. They just keep it blocked to keep from getting hurt. And hell, when you get all the details of what they’ve been through, who can blame them. The one thing, though, no matter what, even if they had a fight, they never really gave up on each other. There were a few close calls, but they matter too much to each other for that.
I have absolutely loved this series. It saddens me that it’s the last book. I’ve grown to love these guys so much and have loved watching them grow from what they were and what they came from to the men they are today. And let me tell you, it’s a beautiful thing. And it’s a huge thing. I recommend this series to anyone who can get their hands on it. It’s a great one. All about redemption, second chances and love.
http://lovebytesreviews.com/
For Chris, they knew they were different from a young age. They like both genders and wanted to be both genders. Although born a boy, they related to be a girl just as much and loved the makeup and looking pretty as much as wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But with all they have been through, they’ve learned to take things at face value and take things as they come. They don’t necessarily believe in love, because they’ve never been shown any. But when Alex moves in, Alex finds a way to start digging under that wall Chris has built up. They’re terrified because love never works for him and it will be just one more person who doesn’t accept them the way they are or what they do for a living. But Alex is different. And I love it. I love these two. The sass between them, the banter, the wit back and forth. The verbal sparring. It’s hilarious, but it’s also important. They are getting to know each other through it and Alex is learning who he really is. Sure, he goofs and gets terminology wrong, which Chris never fails to call him on lol, but Alex keeps trying and for once in his life, he’s free to be himself. Which is very attracted to Chris. No matter which gender form he may be in. That’s what I love about these two. Alex accepts Chris without blinking an eye. He doesn’t care much for the whole prostitution thing, but it’s more for worrying of Chris’s safety. And Chris knows all about Alex’s background, after Alex told him, and still cares for the man regardless. They may both feel broken and cold and without a heart, but these are actually two of the most caring people ever. They just keep it blocked to keep from getting hurt. And hell, when you get all the details of what they’ve been through, who can blame them. The one thing, though, no matter what, even if they had a fight, they never really gave up on each other. There were a few close calls, but they matter too much to each other for that.
I have absolutely loved this series. It saddens me that it’s the last book. I’ve grown to love these guys so much and have loved watching them grow from what they were and what they came from to the men they are today. And let me tell you, it’s a beautiful thing. And it’s a huge thing. I recommend this series to anyone who can get their hands on it. It’s a great one. All about redemption, second chances and love.
http://lovebytesreviews.com/
September 12, 2023
Blue Jay is the third book in the London Stories series. Chris featured in Liam and Ali's story, but now he has his own. Alex has just come out of prison, with secrets he doesn't want to share.
Oh my. Seriously!!! This is an amazing book and a brilliant addition to the series. Alex is most definitely a gentle giant who has made mistakes and has no intention of repeating them. Once you have a place in his heart, that's it. You're there for life. And Chris finds himself there, he just doesn't understand how. Their relationship is smooth and gentle, which considering their pasts is absolutely the way to go. The most obvious thing is it shows just how much Chris thinks of Alex, even if he won't admit it. Alex is a rock though, and isn't willing to let Chris push him away.
There are a whole host of characters in this book that you will either love or loathe. I loved Dex, but Alex's family grated on me until towards the end. The same with Chris' mum, Annette. I won't tell you how big the smile was on my face with one of the last scenes between her and Chris. You'll just have to read it for yourself, and figure out why I was smiling!
I loved how Chris' pronouns changed depending upon their mood, and I ADORED that Alex accepted it all - no judgements, only questions to try and help him understand. This was written in first person, present tense, which isn't my favourite way of reading. It does help with getting into the mind of the character, but sometimes I wasn't ready for it to change. Even so, it was a fantastic book that I thoroughly enjoyed, and I have no hesitation in recommending it or the series as a whole. Perfect for those who like their romance a little darker.
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Oct 28, 2019
Oh my. Seriously!!! This is an amazing book and a brilliant addition to the series. Alex is most definitely a gentle giant who has made mistakes and has no intention of repeating them. Once you have a place in his heart, that's it. You're there for life. And Chris finds himself there, he just doesn't understand how. Their relationship is smooth and gentle, which considering their pasts is absolutely the way to go. The most obvious thing is it shows just how much Chris thinks of Alex, even if he won't admit it. Alex is a rock though, and isn't willing to let Chris push him away.
There are a whole host of characters in this book that you will either love or loathe. I loved Dex, but Alex's family grated on me until towards the end. The same with Chris' mum, Annette. I won't tell you how big the smile was on my face with one of the last scenes between her and Chris. You'll just have to read it for yourself, and figure out why I was smiling!
I loved how Chris' pronouns changed depending upon their mood, and I ADORED that Alex accepted it all - no judgements, only questions to try and help him understand. This was written in first person, present tense, which isn't my favourite way of reading. It does help with getting into the mind of the character, but sometimes I wasn't ready for it to change. Even so, it was a fantastic book that I thoroughly enjoyed, and I have no hesitation in recommending it or the series as a whole. Perfect for those who like their romance a little darker.
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Oct 28, 2019
January 15, 2020
Chris is a genderfluid, non-binary escort and Alex is a bi-curious, ex-boxer and ex-con who wind up living in the same shared flat. Both of the main characters are working through their past and recent traumas alone and, eventually, together while trying not to let their damages prevent them from sharing something real.
I have not read the other books in this series yet but I plan to. I want to know how some of the side characters in this book wound up how and where they are but it wasn’t necessary to have read the previous two books to understand the story.
It’s so wonderful to see a genderfluid, non-binary, bisexual character in a main role like this, done very well, I think. Being introduced to how Chris and their various pronouns will operate, before the story begins, helps immensely with readability. I was riveted by the emotional journey these two had to take to get to each other and to keep themselves intact. Love, in all its forms, is a true healer.
I have not read the other books in this series yet but I plan to. I want to know how some of the side characters in this book wound up how and where they are but it wasn’t necessary to have read the previous two books to understand the story.
It’s so wonderful to see a genderfluid, non-binary, bisexual character in a main role like this, done very well, I think. Being introduced to how Chris and their various pronouns will operate, before the story begins, helps immensely with readability. I was riveted by the emotional journey these two had to take to get to each other and to keep themselves intact. Love, in all its forms, is a true healer.
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October 11, 2019Hey, it's my book. I've written a little thing about how the story came about: https://azukowskiblog.wordpress.com/2...
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September 14, 2019Having beta read this absolutely amazing story, it is one that brought to the surface every-single-emotion from this reader, with its indescribable melding of words, as its incredibly gripping, gut-wrenching, raw, hopeful, and, stunningly beautiful moments were beyond addicting in this massively incredible read.
I adored this story with its heart-breaking yet heart-warming storyline, its strong and dedicated characters, and its wonderful secondary characters. This story ceaselessly proved to be an overall great addition to a sensational series, one that I absolutely loved....:)
I adored this story with its heart-breaking yet heart-warming storyline, its strong and dedicated characters, and its wonderful secondary characters. This story ceaselessly proved to be an overall great addition to a sensational series, one that I absolutely loved....:)
November 18, 2019
** I WAS GIVEN THIS BOOK FOR MY READING PLEASURE **
Reviewed for Divine Magazine
~
Blue Jay (London Stories #3) by A. Zukowski
★★★★★
306 Pages
POV: 3rd person, present POV, with 1st person flashbacks
Content Warning: drug use, drug dealing, prostitution, homophobia, rape and attempted rape
Blue Jay is one of those stories that slowly grows on you and tugs at your heart. Much like the rest of the London Stories series. Each book is full of heartwarming characters who fight tooth-and-nail to escape the poverty and pain of their lives in the hope of something better. Though love is the driving factor of wanting a better life, it's really the character's own strength and resilience that sees them escaping the dangers and emotional pain of their old lives to find something new.
We know Chris – the MC – from both previous books in the series. They were the strength that kept Liam going, through his toughest times, and they're just as strong in this book. Before, Chris was almost exclusively male, but this book shows their genderfluidity much more clearly. At times, Chris is marked as she/her, then he/him, and more often they/them. I love this. So many authors have a genderfluid character using only one pronoun, but this really shows how fluid Chris is and what they prefer. I also love the way Alex learns to look at Chris and determine which pronouns to use by their presentation. It takes him a while, but it's a beautiful progression.
Alex is quite a naive and innocent character, so seeing him learn how to understand and read Chris is absolutely adorable. Despite being an ex-con, Alex isn't a tough guy, despite how he looks and his passion for boxing. He's a genuinely nice guy who suffered some bad luck and made some bad choices.
Chris is a sweet, vulnerable person underneath the brash exterior, who has suffered their whole life. For one reason or another, they've battled prejudice, assault, and judgement. As a genderfluid escort, with a drug-addicted and alcoholic mother, abused at an early age and constantly put into dangerous situations, it's no wonder that Chris has grown a tough-skin. But underneath all of that, they're still a little gooey and scared and gentle. Meeting Alex brings all that to the surface.
Together, I found Alex and Chris to be utterly beautiful as a couple. They brought out the best in each other, helped heal parts of each other that no one could ever understand never mind attempt to care for. And they never judged. Chris didn't look down on Alex for his past, and Alex never once tried to control Chris or force them to end their life as an escort. They wanted to keep each other safe, make each other happy, and be happy together. Other than that, they were so open and loving and caring that it was a truly beautiful thing to watch them grow closer over time.
The book differs from the others in the series in a few small ways. First off, Chris is the first MC who isn't a drug addict, fighting their addiction. Instead, they have other issues to battle. Secondly, Chris and Alex don't have sex with each other for a long time. Not until the last 20% of the book. This is important for their growth, both as individuals and within their relationship. I love that their bond was more emotional and heartfelt, to begin with. For that reason, the book was a little less angsty than before, with a more positive outlook for a lot of the book. Even though Alex had depression and the side effect of erectile issues, and Chris had a complicated history of constantly being stepped on, they were both generally positive people trying to move beyond their past.
As well as getting to see a dual POV between Chris and Alex that is pretty evenly divided, there are some events that demanded more. So, we get about a chapter that is divided between Dex and Liam's POV, as well as a switch to 1st person, for some flashback scenes. These are both very important, and I loved that Zukowski made the conscious decision to include them. Some authors add extra POV's that end up useless or unnecessary, while some don't add them when they are important. This time, they were both important and completely necessary.
I loved everything about Blue Jay, but I have to admit one of the most beautiful moments was when I finally understood the true meaning of the title.
~
Favourite Quotes
“You are fine as you are.
It’s the most beautiful thing anyone has said to Chris in a long time. He blinks twice, unsure if happy tears are prickling him.”
“Few people see Alex’s harsh lines, brokenness and loyalty as beauty. Only Chris.”
Reviewed for Divine Magazine
~
Blue Jay (London Stories #3) by A. Zukowski
★★★★★
306 Pages
POV: 3rd person, present POV, with 1st person flashbacks
Content Warning: drug use, drug dealing, prostitution, homophobia, rape and attempted rape
Blue Jay is one of those stories that slowly grows on you and tugs at your heart. Much like the rest of the London Stories series. Each book is full of heartwarming characters who fight tooth-and-nail to escape the poverty and pain of their lives in the hope of something better. Though love is the driving factor of wanting a better life, it's really the character's own strength and resilience that sees them escaping the dangers and emotional pain of their old lives to find something new.
We know Chris – the MC – from both previous books in the series. They were the strength that kept Liam going, through his toughest times, and they're just as strong in this book. Before, Chris was almost exclusively male, but this book shows their genderfluidity much more clearly. At times, Chris is marked as she/her, then he/him, and more often they/them. I love this. So many authors have a genderfluid character using only one pronoun, but this really shows how fluid Chris is and what they prefer. I also love the way Alex learns to look at Chris and determine which pronouns to use by their presentation. It takes him a while, but it's a beautiful progression.
Alex is quite a naive and innocent character, so seeing him learn how to understand and read Chris is absolutely adorable. Despite being an ex-con, Alex isn't a tough guy, despite how he looks and his passion for boxing. He's a genuinely nice guy who suffered some bad luck and made some bad choices.
Chris is a sweet, vulnerable person underneath the brash exterior, who has suffered their whole life. For one reason or another, they've battled prejudice, assault, and judgement. As a genderfluid escort, with a drug-addicted and alcoholic mother, abused at an early age and constantly put into dangerous situations, it's no wonder that Chris has grown a tough-skin. But underneath all of that, they're still a little gooey and scared and gentle. Meeting Alex brings all that to the surface.
Together, I found Alex and Chris to be utterly beautiful as a couple. They brought out the best in each other, helped heal parts of each other that no one could ever understand never mind attempt to care for. And they never judged. Chris didn't look down on Alex for his past, and Alex never once tried to control Chris or force them to end their life as an escort. They wanted to keep each other safe, make each other happy, and be happy together. Other than that, they were so open and loving and caring that it was a truly beautiful thing to watch them grow closer over time.
The book differs from the others in the series in a few small ways. First off, Chris is the first MC who isn't a drug addict, fighting their addiction. Instead, they have other issues to battle. Secondly, Chris and Alex don't have sex with each other for a long time. Not until the last 20% of the book. This is important for their growth, both as individuals and within their relationship. I love that their bond was more emotional and heartfelt, to begin with. For that reason, the book was a little less angsty than before, with a more positive outlook for a lot of the book. Even though Alex had depression and the side effect of erectile issues, and Chris had a complicated history of constantly being stepped on, they were both generally positive people trying to move beyond their past.
As well as getting to see a dual POV between Chris and Alex that is pretty evenly divided, there are some events that demanded more. So, we get about a chapter that is divided between Dex and Liam's POV, as well as a switch to 1st person, for some flashback scenes. These are both very important, and I loved that Zukowski made the conscious decision to include them. Some authors add extra POV's that end up useless or unnecessary, while some don't add them when they are important. This time, they were both important and completely necessary.
I loved everything about Blue Jay, but I have to admit one of the most beautiful moments was when I finally understood the true meaning of the title.
~
Favourite Quotes
“You are fine as you are.
It’s the most beautiful thing anyone has said to Chris in a long time. He blinks twice, unsure if happy tears are prickling him.”
“Few people see Alex’s harsh lines, brokenness and loyalty as beauty. Only Chris.”
November 9, 2019
A. Zukowski scores a knockout with Blue Jay. It’s the third in their London Stories series and this author just gets better and better. Somehow this standalone is both slow-paced, but action and emotion-packed, a novel to be savored. Clear a span of time, since this one will hook you and you won’t want to put it down!
Alex had been an elite heavyweight boxer who is now paroled after over four years in prison. He meets Chris, his new genderqueer flatmate, in the stairwell and they are instantly attracted. Chris is astonished when Alex has no bias against his profession as an escort. Neither man had a childhood, but instead provided for their parents. These guys are train wrecks, but two sides of the same coin. Both have survived indignities and have behaved recklessly. Is there any room for romance between men who have ignored their souls to exist?
What makes Blue Jay special? Let’s start with Zukowski’s choice to write in third person, present tense. Thus, readers experience events alongside Alex and Chris, as their lives unfold, which gives the plot urgency. But because Alex and Chris are described as “they,” “he,” “she,” we are watching them from the outside. It’s perfect because Alex and Chris also observe the personas they have erected, never able to be genuine. As Zukowski writes, “Clothes are a shell that has little to do with the insides, and the insides have little to do with the anatomy. Most days, Chris is passing – performing roles back and forth and never still – a dear price they pay for living in a binary world.” There are priceless descriptions of a gender-fluid person’s sense of self and others’ reactions to them.
Plus, we enjoy Zukowski’s plush language. After highlighting over fifty passages, it’s hard for me to choose just two, but these show Chris land Alex’s search for identity. “Chris’s breath has misted up the mirror, like a shroud of white dust. She can’t always tell who she is, whether she’s ever happy.” And when Alex’s family urge him to return to boxing, “Don’t they feel anything? Don’t they know their son, their brother? Despite his tough appearance, he’s always been highly sensitive and emotional. What he achieved when he was at his height was a pretense. He loved boxing but everything else was a necessary evil.”
Then there are subtle observations about life. “Pride. Everyone needs a bit of that.” “Decision. Life. You can only work with what you have.”
There are also beautiful renditions of how walls of distrust can erode. “Alex wants to capture Chris’s laughter and put it in a can. When he feels blue, he can open it a little, like a music box.” Or, Chris thinks, “He feels much better after seeing Alex’s reaction. Someone cares. Isn’t life tolerable?”
Per their opening content warnings, A. Zukowski unflinchingly stares down multiple forms of abuse and heartbreak without ever crossing the line into gruesome or engendering pity. These men are scrappers who refuse to back down to anything life has to offer. We are honored to share their journey.
For a book with astonishing revelations, ones you will feel blessed to witness, for grit and wisdom, recovery and endurance, do yourself a favor and read ‘Blue Jay’. This is an experience to cherish.
Alex had been an elite heavyweight boxer who is now paroled after over four years in prison. He meets Chris, his new genderqueer flatmate, in the stairwell and they are instantly attracted. Chris is astonished when Alex has no bias against his profession as an escort. Neither man had a childhood, but instead provided for their parents. These guys are train wrecks, but two sides of the same coin. Both have survived indignities and have behaved recklessly. Is there any room for romance between men who have ignored their souls to exist?
What makes Blue Jay special? Let’s start with Zukowski’s choice to write in third person, present tense. Thus, readers experience events alongside Alex and Chris, as their lives unfold, which gives the plot urgency. But because Alex and Chris are described as “they,” “he,” “she,” we are watching them from the outside. It’s perfect because Alex and Chris also observe the personas they have erected, never able to be genuine. As Zukowski writes, “Clothes are a shell that has little to do with the insides, and the insides have little to do with the anatomy. Most days, Chris is passing – performing roles back and forth and never still – a dear price they pay for living in a binary world.” There are priceless descriptions of a gender-fluid person’s sense of self and others’ reactions to them.
Plus, we enjoy Zukowski’s plush language. After highlighting over fifty passages, it’s hard for me to choose just two, but these show Chris land Alex’s search for identity. “Chris’s breath has misted up the mirror, like a shroud of white dust. She can’t always tell who she is, whether she’s ever happy.” And when Alex’s family urge him to return to boxing, “Don’t they feel anything? Don’t they know their son, their brother? Despite his tough appearance, he’s always been highly sensitive and emotional. What he achieved when he was at his height was a pretense. He loved boxing but everything else was a necessary evil.”
Then there are subtle observations about life. “Pride. Everyone needs a bit of that.” “Decision. Life. You can only work with what you have.”
There are also beautiful renditions of how walls of distrust can erode. “Alex wants to capture Chris’s laughter and put it in a can. When he feels blue, he can open it a little, like a music box.” Or, Chris thinks, “He feels much better after seeing Alex’s reaction. Someone cares. Isn’t life tolerable?”
Per their opening content warnings, A. Zukowski unflinchingly stares down multiple forms of abuse and heartbreak without ever crossing the line into gruesome or engendering pity. These men are scrappers who refuse to back down to anything life has to offer. We are honored to share their journey.
For a book with astonishing revelations, ones you will feel blessed to witness, for grit and wisdom, recovery and endurance, do yourself a favor and read ‘Blue Jay’. This is an experience to cherish.
January 3, 2020
Title: Blue Jay
Author: A.Zukowski
Publisher: Beaton Track Publishing
ISBN: B07XHSD8WP
Buy Link: https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Jay-Londo...
Reviewer: Teresa Fallen Angel
Blurb:
London Stories 3
Boxing was all Alex had ever known, his entire being now shattered beyond repair. One night and four years in jail changed everything. These days, Alex prefers the shadows and dreams of nightmares. Will he find rainbows and glitters in the run-down flat he’s moving into?
Chris has been selling their looks and body for too long. It may be time for a life change, but one thing is clear. The fairest of them all will make a lousy lover until they stop acting the smart-mouthed and blasé cynic. Their story begins with an elegant tango up the narrow stairwell…
A match made in London.
Featuring Chris from Liam for Hire, Blue Jay is a hopeful and romantic story with genderqueer and bisexual characters.
Total Score: 5/5
Summary:
The world is never a simple place to live and both Alex and Chris are well aware of that. All Alex new was boxing, but in the end it was that lifestyle that ended his carrier leaving him in prison with nothing. Chris grew up poor struggling just to stay alive with a mother who leaning on Chris for everything. Forced to sell herself to stay alive hiding her emotions while struggling for acceptance in a world tht doesn’t really understand what it means to be gender fluid.
Alex got out of jail a broken man, but the first time he saw Chris a their shared flat he began to believe that things could change. This was an inspiring story about believing in yourself and second chances. It was wonderful to once again meet up with Liam seeing that there you can find happiness if you are willing to fight for what you believe in.
Author: A.Zukowski
Publisher: Beaton Track Publishing
ISBN: B07XHSD8WP
Buy Link: https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Jay-Londo...
Reviewer: Teresa Fallen Angel
Blurb:
London Stories 3
Boxing was all Alex had ever known, his entire being now shattered beyond repair. One night and four years in jail changed everything. These days, Alex prefers the shadows and dreams of nightmares. Will he find rainbows and glitters in the run-down flat he’s moving into?
Chris has been selling their looks and body for too long. It may be time for a life change, but one thing is clear. The fairest of them all will make a lousy lover until they stop acting the smart-mouthed and blasé cynic. Their story begins with an elegant tango up the narrow stairwell…
A match made in London.
Featuring Chris from Liam for Hire, Blue Jay is a hopeful and romantic story with genderqueer and bisexual characters.
Total Score: 5/5
Summary:
The world is never a simple place to live and both Alex and Chris are well aware of that. All Alex new was boxing, but in the end it was that lifestyle that ended his carrier leaving him in prison with nothing. Chris grew up poor struggling just to stay alive with a mother who leaning on Chris for everything. Forced to sell herself to stay alive hiding her emotions while struggling for acceptance in a world tht doesn’t really understand what it means to be gender fluid.
Alex got out of jail a broken man, but the first time he saw Chris a their shared flat he began to believe that things could change. This was an inspiring story about believing in yourself and second chances. It was wonderful to once again meet up with Liam seeing that there you can find happiness if you are willing to fight for what you believe in.
October 15, 2019
A Heartwarming beautiful Love Story
This ARC from the author was nothing short of a fascinating story for me. Chris and Alex felt so real, igniting all my maternal instincts for these two besotted characters… I just wanted to hug them and stand outside their door to protect them…even cook for them…making sure Alex took his meds and help Chris with her dresses…Why I could even sew some for them!
As you can see I was truly immersed in the story.
It is not the humanity about the characters that stole my heart, but it was their inner resilience that drew me into their story. Despite the gut-wrenching events, these two never gave up, soldiering on to survive until they met. Once their encounter took place, they stopped surviving and started living. I cried a lot but I also cheered for them.
I learned a lot about genderqueerness and appreciated that A LOT. Chris opened my eyes to gender-fluidity. I thank them for that valuable lesson. They are my heroes!!
Alex, a newly paroled ex-professional boxer who is battling depression and PTSD, broke my heart too. He was a gentle giant who had a heart of gold. His trauma was his wakeup call. I absolutely bawled my eyes out when he went on his knees and apologized to Sam’s father. OMG. I was deeply moved.
This is a profoundly emotional, eyeopening, thought-provoking story. The plot was fresh, unique and well created. The characters were stable throughout the story. The author wrote it with compassion and open-mindedness. One aspect that stood out for me about the story, was the wittiness, with a good measure of sarky, dry humor. That part made the story stand out for me
This ARC from the author was nothing short of a fascinating story for me. Chris and Alex felt so real, igniting all my maternal instincts for these two besotted characters… I just wanted to hug them and stand outside their door to protect them…even cook for them…making sure Alex took his meds and help Chris with her dresses…Why I could even sew some for them!
As you can see I was truly immersed in the story.
It is not the humanity about the characters that stole my heart, but it was their inner resilience that drew me into their story. Despite the gut-wrenching events, these two never gave up, soldiering on to survive until they met. Once their encounter took place, they stopped surviving and started living. I cried a lot but I also cheered for them.
I learned a lot about genderqueerness and appreciated that A LOT. Chris opened my eyes to gender-fluidity. I thank them for that valuable lesson. They are my heroes!!
Alex, a newly paroled ex-professional boxer who is battling depression and PTSD, broke my heart too. He was a gentle giant who had a heart of gold. His trauma was his wakeup call. I absolutely bawled my eyes out when he went on his knees and apologized to Sam’s father. OMG. I was deeply moved.
This is a profoundly emotional, eyeopening, thought-provoking story. The plot was fresh, unique and well created. The characters were stable throughout the story. The author wrote it with compassion and open-mindedness. One aspect that stood out for me about the story, was the wittiness, with a good measure of sarky, dry humor. That part made the story stand out for me
February 13, 2020
This book is an amazing read. I was fortunate enough to get an advanced copy and couldn’t put it down.
The story brought my through the streets of London and its suburbs—a city I haven’t been to since the 90s—with vivid descriptions and imagery.
On top of that the characters are so well drawn, I cried and laughed with them. This is a story that will stay with me for the rest of my life as I’m sure it will with many readers.
The story brought my through the streets of London and its suburbs—a city I haven’t been to since the 90s—with vivid descriptions and imagery.
On top of that the characters are so well drawn, I cried and laughed with them. This is a story that will stay with me for the rest of my life as I’m sure it will with many readers.
July 6, 2020
All of the other reviews pretty much sum up my thoughts on the book! I'm just going to add that I loved the natural progression of Chris and Alex's relationship because it was slow-paced and Alex was respectful of Chris's boundaries and their sense of agency. It was an emotional, complex, and unexpected journey...with some dark and tense moments where I had to put my Kindle down to take a breather, but the characters never gave up. 5-stars
October 24, 2022
This book took me on a beautiful journey. I loved seeing how these two seemingly very different people, both of whom were pretty broken at the beginning of the story, found each other and somehow just made sense together. Both Chris and Alex are beautifully and realistically portrayed and I rooted for both of them so much. I also really enjoyed getting to see Liam and Ali again. This is definitely not a light-hearted story, and because of that it’s all the more rewarding to leave the characters in a place that feels very hopeful, but also true to the story and the journey they’re on. Highly recommended!
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