“We fall into life, and we fall out of it the same way. There’s an opening, and you have to find it. Or you fumble around in the dark until you fall into it. One way or another, it always works.”
What a beautifully written story. The perfect ending to the close of a year. I can’t think of a better way to finish a year than to reflect on a life through the lens of those that have already passed from it. Despite the fact this is told from a chorus of voices in the Paulstadt cemetery, or The Field, this is not a ghost story. Through first person narration, each of the deceased shares a piece of themselves with the reader. Longings, regrets, small joys, loneliness, love, misunderstandings, fear, and hope – the emotions and essence of life. Most of these vignettes are not marked by grand happenings, but the small events that stamp the majority of our days. They are often memories of others that have shared either brief moments of their lives or those that were a part of them for longer periods of time. In either case, the impact of one life on another is significant as it echoes from one side of the grave to the other.
“A Sunday without you was incomplete. Making love with you, then lying beside you, in bed, in the grass, in the snow. That was everything.”
“Maya’s ear, very close. The little hairs behind it, exquisitely fine. Her cheek. Her small, round shoulder. Her laughter. Our laughter.”
“Isn’t it strange: I remember the colour of the dress I was wearing all those years ago, but I can’t remember what season it was when I died.”
Once the last page is turned, you realize that Robert Seethaler has accomplished something truly magnificent here. While you’ve been gazing at the subtle, individual brush strokes, he’s been creating a gorgeous canvas, a collage of a small town and its myriad citizens. You can see what makes up a life: its moments and the people that wander in and out of it, for better or for worse. I wouldn’t call this a sad book; after all, the premise going into this is already known. Every character now lies beneath the surface of the earth. It is, however, melancholic. It will force you to take a breath, perhaps gasp now and then, and to step back and think of those moments in your own life that have so far shaped who you are as an individual. Certain people may come to mind. You may find yourself wishing you could go stand at his or her gravestone and ask just a question or two. But does it make sense to even try?
“A living person thinking about death. A dead person talking about life. What’s the point? Neither side understands the other. There are intimations. And there are memories. Both can be deceptive.”
I’d like to think there’s a point. This book made me think of a special person. It’s been nearly a year since my beloved uncle passed away. He had lived a long life, but left us rather abruptly just the same. He lived the life he wanted to, even though others in the family sometimes frowned, passing judgments as family is wont to do. But he was a happy man, and I believe he left with few regrets. I suppose we all have something that we keep hidden deep inside. He was the most encouraging of “cheerleaders”, always supporting both me and my sister in whatever we wanted to do in life. Last New Year’s Day, shortly before he died, he called me. Despite all the madness in our country and the world at the time, he had hope. “Candi, I just know things are going to get better for you and for us all. I can feel it in my bones.” He was a man who died alone in a nursing facility in another state and still found the heart to share that desire with optimism. I’m going to go visit him this week in the field where he was laid to rest and say, “Thank you, Uncle Carl... for everything.”
“Basically, I understand nothing about love, and all I know about life is that it has to be lived. But at least I do now know a little about death. It puts an end to longing, and if you hold still it doesn’t hurt at all.”