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You Carried Me: A Daughter’s Memoir
What happens when an abortion survivor finds her birth mother, who never knew her daughter was alive? Now in paperback with a new epilogue by Melissa Ohden and her birth mother. Winner, 2018 Christianity Today Book Award, CT Women
Silver Medal Winner, 2018 Illumination Book Awards, Biography & Memoir Melissa Ohden is fourteen when she learns she is the survivor of a botched abortion. In this intimate memoir she details for the first time her search for her biological parents, and her own journey from anger and shame to faith and empowerment. After a decade-long search Melissa finally locates her birth father and writes to extend forgiveness, only to learn that he has died without answering her burning questions. Melissa becomes a mother herself in the very hospital where she was aborted. This experience transforms her attitude toward women who have had abortions, as does the miscarriage of her only son and the birth of a second daughter with complex health issues. But could anything prepare her for the day she finally meets her birth mother and hears her side of their story? This intensely personal story of love and redemption illumines the powerful bond between mother and child that can overcome all odds.
Silver Medal Winner, 2018 Illumination Book Awards, Biography & Memoir Melissa Ohden is fourteen when she learns she is the survivor of a botched abortion. In this intimate memoir she details for the first time her search for her biological parents, and her own journey from anger and shame to faith and empowerment. After a decade-long search Melissa finally locates her birth father and writes to extend forgiveness, only to learn that he has died without answering her burning questions. Melissa becomes a mother herself in the very hospital where she was aborted. This experience transforms her attitude toward women who have had abortions, as does the miscarriage of her only son and the birth of a second daughter with complex health issues. But could anything prepare her for the day she finally meets her birth mother and hears her side of their story? This intensely personal story of love and redemption illumines the powerful bond between mother and child that can overcome all odds.
190 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2017
91 people are currently reading
1769 people want to read
About the author
Melissa Ohden
4 books45 followersMelissa is a sought after speaker, author and advocate. Her experience of surviving a saline infusion abortion and being united with many members of her biological family initially led her to this life's work, but connecting with other abortion survivors, mothers, and families impacted by failed, stopped and reversed abortions is what has truly ignited her passion.
Melissa is the author of the 2018 Christianity Today award-winning, You Carried Me: A Daughter's Memoir, that vulnerably shares her journey of adoption, finding our her story, and ultimately healing and growing to a place of forgiveness and love, embracing her story and her purpose.
Melissa's second book, Abortion Survivors Break their Silence, with Cindy Lambert, the best-selling author of Unplanned, gives the reader an opportunity like never before--to see through their eyes, and hear through their words, the experiences of multiple abortion survivors--most unknown to the world--and women who have experienced a failed, stopped or reversed abortion. Their voices need to be heard. Not only for their sake. But our culture's.
Abortion Survivors Break Their Silence stirs the heart, challenges readers, and humanizes the sanctity of life in concrete and transformational ways that Melissa believes will break the secrets and shame that entrap so many people and so many families, and ultimately lead to compassion and understanding for ALL who have been impacted by abortion and been voiceless for so long.
In additional to her survival experience, Melissa brings a depth of knowledge to her work. She has a Master’s Degree in Social Work, and has worked in the fields of substance abuse, mental health, domestic violence and sexual assault counseling, and child welfare.
She is the Founder and Director of The Abortion Survivors Network, the only support and advocacy organization for abortion survivors and their families world-wide. Melissa and her team have connected with nearly 700 abortion survivors as of October 2023.
Melissa is the author of the 2018 Christianity Today award-winning, You Carried Me: A Daughter's Memoir, that vulnerably shares her journey of adoption, finding our her story, and ultimately healing and growing to a place of forgiveness and love, embracing her story and her purpose.
Melissa's second book, Abortion Survivors Break their Silence, with Cindy Lambert, the best-selling author of Unplanned, gives the reader an opportunity like never before--to see through their eyes, and hear through their words, the experiences of multiple abortion survivors--most unknown to the world--and women who have experienced a failed, stopped or reversed abortion. Their voices need to be heard. Not only for their sake. But our culture's.
Abortion Survivors Break Their Silence stirs the heart, challenges readers, and humanizes the sanctity of life in concrete and transformational ways that Melissa believes will break the secrets and shame that entrap so many people and so many families, and ultimately lead to compassion and understanding for ALL who have been impacted by abortion and been voiceless for so long.
In additional to her survival experience, Melissa brings a depth of knowledge to her work. She has a Master’s Degree in Social Work, and has worked in the fields of substance abuse, mental health, domestic violence and sexual assault counseling, and child welfare.
She is the Founder and Director of The Abortion Survivors Network, the only support and advocacy organization for abortion survivors and their families world-wide. Melissa and her team have connected with nearly 700 abortion survivors as of October 2023.
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February 15, 2018
A good friend promised me I would not be able to put this down. She was right. I finished it in a single sitting. It is a relatively slim read at 178 pages, but it is the subject matter and Melissa’s incredible life which make it impossible to put You Carried Me down.
Melissa Ohden was aborted … and yet she lived! She didn’t find out the truth about her ‘botched’ birth until she was 14. Can you imagine discovering as a teen amidst raging hormones, that the woman who conceived you, tried to get rid of you? Then as Melissa is trying to come to grips with her origins, she begins to discover how much difficulty other women have in accepting her story, for reasons of their own.
Melissa had been adopted by a very loving couple, but like most teens, as a teen, she took her parent’s love for granted. She drew strength from it certainly, but was shaken to the core by the discovery about her biological mother.
The rest of the book is Melissa’s conquest of her initial fears and hurts to turn her own life into the opportunity to help others who have been hurt so much more than she was. Along the way, she also pursued her own private pre- and early-history. It is a poignant and unforgettable book about life, women, mothers, children and families. Wherever you stand on the abortion-choice issue, the book is a must read.
There were many things Melissa wrote which struck me deep inside, but I just want to include this for any woman who might be hurting:
Melissa Ohden was aborted … and yet she lived! She didn’t find out the truth about her ‘botched’ birth until she was 14. Can you imagine discovering as a teen amidst raging hormones, that the woman who conceived you, tried to get rid of you? Then as Melissa is trying to come to grips with her origins, she begins to discover how much difficulty other women have in accepting her story, for reasons of their own.
Melissa had been adopted by a very loving couple, but like most teens, as a teen, she took her parent’s love for granted. She drew strength from it certainly, but was shaken to the core by the discovery about her biological mother.
The rest of the book is Melissa’s conquest of her initial fears and hurts to turn her own life into the opportunity to help others who have been hurt so much more than she was. Along the way, she also pursued her own private pre- and early-history. It is a poignant and unforgettable book about life, women, mothers, children and families. Wherever you stand on the abortion-choice issue, the book is a must read.
There were many things Melissa wrote which struck me deep inside, but I just want to include this for any woman who might be hurting:
‘Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.” But I think the truly brave are those who ask for forgiveness. We all need to be forgiven! Everywhere I went it seemed I met someone who was suffering because they desperately wanted to ask forgiveness from a child whose death from abortion they had helped to cause. I came to understand that part of my mission was to be a voice of forgiveness to them.’A beautiful story! Highly recommended!
January 1, 2017
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)
I can’t imagine finding out I was the result of a botched abortion. Especially receiving this news during teenage years, when it’s more difficult to process things due to all the other emotional and physical changes going on.
Melissa Ohden does a spectacular job of conveying her emotions upon this discovery, and the difficulties in her path as she disclosed her innermost feelings and pro-life beliefs as an advocate for women’s rights.
I was especially touched by what a young girl in this book revealed about her feelings on life– (paraphrasing) a baby becomes a person the moment they are conceived.
You Carried Me is a powerful, emotional, inspiring book that deals with acceptance, repentance, and forgiveness. A powerful memoir that shows we all have a purpose in God’s divine plan.
5 Stars
Cover: Love
Title: Love
Publisher: Plough Publishing House
Pages: 184
Pace: Steady/Fast
ISBN: 978-0874867886
First Lines: A thick manila envelope arrived at my home in Sioux City with the afternoon mail one sunny day in May 2007. I knew without even looking at the return address that it came from the University of Iowa Hospitals Iowa City and contained the medical records that would answer some of the questions I had been agonizing over most of my life.
I received a complimentary copy from the publisher via Handlebar.
November 28, 2019
*thank you to Netgalley, Melissa Ohden and Monarch Books for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
3 stars.
Such a heartfelt true story. This isn't my typical type of book that I read but I found it to be quite good nonetheless. It's a very fast read so I got through it in one sitting. But don't confuse that with it being an easy read because that, it is not. It is also a book that is quite heavy on religion so that's something to keep in mind if it's not exactly your cup of tea. I didn't mind it, I could take it or leave it and it didn't change my rating of this. I really like the cover for this too. That is what first grabbed my attention.
3 stars.
Such a heartfelt true story. This isn't my typical type of book that I read but I found it to be quite good nonetheless. It's a very fast read so I got through it in one sitting. But don't confuse that with it being an easy read because that, it is not. It is also a book that is quite heavy on religion so that's something to keep in mind if it's not exactly your cup of tea. I didn't mind it, I could take it or leave it and it didn't change my rating of this. I really like the cover for this too. That is what first grabbed my attention.
October 20, 2021
This was a FANTASTIC book! I was not a botched abortion, but my birth mother was going to have an abortion, but I was saved. I was allowed to live. This book was personal to me in a way.
Reading how abortion affects all of those involved was something I never really thought about. Her birth mother went through so much. What a miracle Melissa’s life is!
Such a great read! I finished it in 1 day because I couldn’t stop reading the story.
Reading how abortion affects all of those involved was something I never really thought about. Her birth mother went through so much. What a miracle Melissa’s life is!
Such a great read! I finished it in 1 day because I couldn’t stop reading the story.
June 18, 2017
Excellent and powerful story written by a woman who survived (as the unborn baby) a botched abortion. This is a story of love, redemption, and forgiveness.
September 23, 2021
Such an amazing story! I cried, I gasped, I read paragraphs out loud to my husband... this really was an incredible story! I'm so thankful God spared Melissa's life so she could tell her story (and her mother's story!) for the world to know. It amazes me how Melissa's very existence forces people to evaluate their own views on abortion. Would hands down read this book again and would recommend to anyone wanting to learn more in regards to the pro-choice/pro-life debate.
February 7, 2017
Melissa Ohden’s story is tragic only in the sense that she was intended to be aborted and that she had to struggle through the heartbreak of that intent. In every other way, her story soars as a living testimony to the majesty and glory of the Almighty God. God’s plan so far has included her surviving a saline abortion without any physical effects, He had her taken to the NICU by a sympathetic nurse rather than cast aside as trash, He provided her with an incredibly loving Christian family to adopt her, and He helped her to achieve her dream of reunification with a portion of her birth family. Most importantly, He has helped her to use her story to help other abortion survivors, those finding themselves in a crisis pregnancy, and those men and women who are suffering from the guilt, shame, and loss due to their decision to have an abortion.
-If you survived an abortion… you will be able to share in another’s unique experience and find a supportive network of other survivors here.
-If you are considering an abortion… you will find love and supportive options other than abortion here.
-If you have had an abortion… you will find love and understanding here.
Forgiveness is something that we all wish to receive when we hurt others and yet is often difficult to give to those who have hurt us. A personal relationship with God provides the greatest hope of extending forgiveness to others and a guarantee of forgiveness from Him.
Melissa said…
“Mahatma Gandhi once said ‘Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.’ But I think the truly brave are those who ask for forgiveness.”
(Melissa Ohden, You Carried Me, page 112)
Please pick up a copy of Melissa’s story and learn of how she entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ and learned how to extend forgiveness. Be inspired by her story. Share God’s work in her life with someone that you know affected by abortion.
Soli Deo Gloria
I received a hardback review copy in exchange for my honest and unbiased review from FrontGate Media.
For all of my reviews visit Blessed and Bewildered
-If you survived an abortion… you will be able to share in another’s unique experience and find a supportive network of other survivors here.
-If you are considering an abortion… you will find love and supportive options other than abortion here.
-If you have had an abortion… you will find love and understanding here.
Forgiveness is something that we all wish to receive when we hurt others and yet is often difficult to give to those who have hurt us. A personal relationship with God provides the greatest hope of extending forgiveness to others and a guarantee of forgiveness from Him.
Melissa said…
“Mahatma Gandhi once said ‘Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.’ But I think the truly brave are those who ask for forgiveness.”
(Melissa Ohden, You Carried Me, page 112)
Please pick up a copy of Melissa’s story and learn of how she entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ and learned how to extend forgiveness. Be inspired by her story. Share God’s work in her life with someone that you know affected by abortion.
Soli Deo Gloria
I received a hardback review copy in exchange for my honest and unbiased review from FrontGate Media.
For all of my reviews visit Blessed and Bewildered
April 3, 2017
This book is very readable & interesting, but…I found the description of it to be a bit misleading. This is for the most part a lengthy pro-life propaganda book and very heavily laden with scripture. Yes the author did survive a botched abortion and it does discuss her struggles to find her birth family, but it also discusses all of the activity she has done to defund Planned Parenthood, etc. I'm not passing judgment on her feelings or her actions, but very disappointed that the book was marketed the way it was.
October 24, 2021
This is an incredible account of a woman who survived abortion and follows her journey of self-acceptance and forgiveness towards those who wronged her. Abortion never just hurts the baby. Abortion is ALWAYS wrong and there is ALWAYS a better option!
February 7, 2017
In this certainly unique memoir, author Melissa Ohden tells the story of how she came to be... the kind of story one just doesn't hear every day! In 1977, Ohden's teenage mother became pregnant with her. An appointment for an abortion procedure is made, the appointment is kept, but the procedure itself doesn't really go as planned. Against all odds, after 5 DAYS worth of being pumped full of toxic saline solution Baby Melissa (or Katie Rose as the nurses called her, Melissa was the name her adoptive parents ending up choosing) survives. She is born prematurely, weighing in at just two pounds. After one nurse hears a faint noise coming from the child, a flurry of nurses rush to save her life.
{Sidenote: Ohden explains how the saline is made toxic for a fetus in her book -- she notes that a standard abortion procedure from start to finish is typically completed within 48 hours so that gives you an idea of just how much extra solution her little body had to take, making her story all the more miraculous.}
Once the newborn is deemed stable, the search for prospective adoptive parents begins. Doesn't take long for a suitable and interested couple to be found but the decision is made to keep Melissa at the hospital until her weight is at least five pounds. When the time comes, Melissa's new parents take her to a farm 100 miles away from where she was born. There she is raised in a loving, nurturing environment out in the farmlands of Iowa. At the age of seven, when her adoptive parents welcome a biological son, it sets off the first sparks of curiosity in Melissa about her own biological parents. But her search for the truth doesn't really begin until a few short years later when during a fight with her sister (also adopted), her sister makes the remark, "At least my mom wanted me." When Melissa presses for an explanation, she's simply told to ask their adoptive mother.
Having avoiding talking much about the day of Melissa's birth previously, her adoptive mother comes clean and lays out all the details. Melissa then launches into what will be a decade long search for any information about her birth family. In that time, Ohden battles depression, anorexia, bulimia, as well as a bout of teenage alcoholism and promiscuity, mostly with older men in town. She explains that with the sensation of everything else in her life feeling as if it were running completely off the rails, the eating disorders, drinking and sexual exploration -- though admittedly unhealthy and dangerous -- did seem to be one aspect she could control.
As Melissa embarked on her college journey, she started seeing more and more eerie ties between her own life choices thus far and the little bit she had been able to learn about her birth mother. First off, the college she chooses to attend: shortly after she starts classes, Melissa discovers her school is the very same her birth mother attended (and her maternal grandmother taught at as well!) -- what are the odds, considering she was raised 100 miles away and could've just as easily chosen a school closer to home! The link ends up being too much for her. That, combined with other stressors -- a large part of that being her constantly being silenced whenever she tries to share her abortion-birth story, being shushed part way in or being called a liar later on -- pushes Melissa to make the choice to drop out and re-enroll in courses closer to her hometown. Her college experiences (after the school switch) lead her to take up social work, mostly with domestic violence support groups. A second powerful tie to her birth mother comes during Melissa's own experiences with pregnancy. Ohden has her first delivery in the very same hospital where her mother tried to have her aborted! After having a stillborn son and a daughter with developmental disabilities, Ohden's search for her birth mother begins to feel all the more important. She needs to hear her mother's story, needs to know the why of it all and attempt to make sense of her traumatic origins once and for all.
Melissa's story is a powerful one, no question there. In all honesty though, while I found this book incredibly moving and well-written from start to finish, I struggled with the second half (approx). I will say here and now my issues with this book are for the most part tied up in the fact that Ohden and I do not see entirely eye to eye on the topic of abortion. While this book did help me to understand why she feels the way she feels -- and I can respect her views -- I struggle to put a full stamp of agreement on her opinions. About halfway through this book, it went from being a memoir on her personal journey to a full-on, hardcore pro-life soapbox fest. I myself am very pro-choice but never try to shut down pro-lifers who want their voice heard. I'll hear them out... I think we're on the same page... up to a point.
Here's my thing: I say I am pro-choice because while I could never see myself choosing abortion, I can't speak on the life situations of anyone but myself. I figure the people who choose that path could very well have quite valid reasons for deciding that's the way for them. Ohden here goes on a pretty hard attack of Planned Parenthood. She talks of how she went once for a general check up because they offered services she would've otherwise struggled to afford. But there were abortion protestors out and about one day as she was leaving who got her thinking. She then seemed to feel dirty being anywhere near a PP office. In fact, later on in the book she states that one of the biggest honors of her life was being asked to testify on Capitol Hill in a hearing to consider ending federal funding for Planned Parenthood programs. Again, my stance: I figure there will always be a least a small number of women who will feel the need to choose abortion. If so, at least PP is there to have it done in a clinical setting with medically trained staff, rather than some back alley sitch. Furthermore, so many people these days act like PP is ONLY for abortions when, in fact, I myself have gotten literally life-saving help from the doctors at my local office back when I was too poor to go anywhere else. It was at a PP office that a serious medical condition was found within my heart that is now being regulated... thanks to a PP doctor. So it bugs me when protestors want to so quickly say everything about PP should be shut down.
It's not just the PP story. Throughout the whole second half of the book she keeps bringing up instances where she continues to almost vilify anyone who does chooses "the evil of abortion" as she repeatedly describes it. Near the very end of her story though, she does admit that being the mother of a special needs child did teach her to have more empathy towards those who feel the need to choose abortion (so she says). Being a woman who is unable to have children myself, I also cringed at lines like (describing her first experiences with motherhood), "We were no longer JUST a couple, we were a family." I truly struggle with books that perpetuate this idea that without children a woman's existence is not complete. It just brings out the involuntary eye roll in me.
So that's it. That's why I'm torn. I struggle with my own personal beliefs clashing with Ohden's. Enough to where it makes me uncomfortable as the reader, enough to where I may even feel her views are naive or misguided at times (hey, I'm allowed to have my opinions too -- I AM a blogger after all), but not so much that I shut my ears / mind off to her. In fact, I quite enjoyed hearing her story. As I said, the writing style is impressive, the flow is nice, and while I might not always be on same page with her, I do think she handles a tricky subject with impressive grace, bringing a conversational tone to a topic that very much needs regular discussion. I was even surprised to learn that Ohden and I share a very similar recurring nightmare -- Wild!
I'd recommend this read for anyone interested in the topics of medical education (specifically abortion, obviously), feminism, women's health, women's issues or adoption stories. Differing beliefs or opinions aside, there's always an education to be had in hearing someone else's story.
FTC Disclaimer: Handlebar (Plough) Publishing kindly provided me with a complimentary copy of this book with a request that I might check it out and share my thoughts. The opinions above are entirely my own.
{Sidenote: Ohden explains how the saline is made toxic for a fetus in her book -- she notes that a standard abortion procedure from start to finish is typically completed within 48 hours so that gives you an idea of just how much extra solution her little body had to take, making her story all the more miraculous.}
Once the newborn is deemed stable, the search for prospective adoptive parents begins. Doesn't take long for a suitable and interested couple to be found but the decision is made to keep Melissa at the hospital until her weight is at least five pounds. When the time comes, Melissa's new parents take her to a farm 100 miles away from where she was born. There she is raised in a loving, nurturing environment out in the farmlands of Iowa. At the age of seven, when her adoptive parents welcome a biological son, it sets off the first sparks of curiosity in Melissa about her own biological parents. But her search for the truth doesn't really begin until a few short years later when during a fight with her sister (also adopted), her sister makes the remark, "At least my mom wanted me." When Melissa presses for an explanation, she's simply told to ask their adoptive mother.
Having avoiding talking much about the day of Melissa's birth previously, her adoptive mother comes clean and lays out all the details. Melissa then launches into what will be a decade long search for any information about her birth family. In that time, Ohden battles depression, anorexia, bulimia, as well as a bout of teenage alcoholism and promiscuity, mostly with older men in town. She explains that with the sensation of everything else in her life feeling as if it were running completely off the rails, the eating disorders, drinking and sexual exploration -- though admittedly unhealthy and dangerous -- did seem to be one aspect she could control.
As Melissa embarked on her college journey, she started seeing more and more eerie ties between her own life choices thus far and the little bit she had been able to learn about her birth mother. First off, the college she chooses to attend: shortly after she starts classes, Melissa discovers her school is the very same her birth mother attended (and her maternal grandmother taught at as well!) -- what are the odds, considering she was raised 100 miles away and could've just as easily chosen a school closer to home! The link ends up being too much for her. That, combined with other stressors -- a large part of that being her constantly being silenced whenever she tries to share her abortion-birth story, being shushed part way in or being called a liar later on -- pushes Melissa to make the choice to drop out and re-enroll in courses closer to her hometown. Her college experiences (after the school switch) lead her to take up social work, mostly with domestic violence support groups. A second powerful tie to her birth mother comes during Melissa's own experiences with pregnancy. Ohden has her first delivery in the very same hospital where her mother tried to have her aborted! After having a stillborn son and a daughter with developmental disabilities, Ohden's search for her birth mother begins to feel all the more important. She needs to hear her mother's story, needs to know the why of it all and attempt to make sense of her traumatic origins once and for all.
Melissa's story is a powerful one, no question there. In all honesty though, while I found this book incredibly moving and well-written from start to finish, I struggled with the second half (approx). I will say here and now my issues with this book are for the most part tied up in the fact that Ohden and I do not see entirely eye to eye on the topic of abortion. While this book did help me to understand why she feels the way she feels -- and I can respect her views -- I struggle to put a full stamp of agreement on her opinions. About halfway through this book, it went from being a memoir on her personal journey to a full-on, hardcore pro-life soapbox fest. I myself am very pro-choice but never try to shut down pro-lifers who want their voice heard. I'll hear them out... I think we're on the same page... up to a point.
Here's my thing: I say I am pro-choice because while I could never see myself choosing abortion, I can't speak on the life situations of anyone but myself. I figure the people who choose that path could very well have quite valid reasons for deciding that's the way for them. Ohden here goes on a pretty hard attack of Planned Parenthood. She talks of how she went once for a general check up because they offered services she would've otherwise struggled to afford. But there were abortion protestors out and about one day as she was leaving who got her thinking. She then seemed to feel dirty being anywhere near a PP office. In fact, later on in the book she states that one of the biggest honors of her life was being asked to testify on Capitol Hill in a hearing to consider ending federal funding for Planned Parenthood programs. Again, my stance: I figure there will always be a least a small number of women who will feel the need to choose abortion. If so, at least PP is there to have it done in a clinical setting with medically trained staff, rather than some back alley sitch. Furthermore, so many people these days act like PP is ONLY for abortions when, in fact, I myself have gotten literally life-saving help from the doctors at my local office back when I was too poor to go anywhere else. It was at a PP office that a serious medical condition was found within my heart that is now being regulated... thanks to a PP doctor. So it bugs me when protestors want to so quickly say everything about PP should be shut down.
It's not just the PP story. Throughout the whole second half of the book she keeps bringing up instances where she continues to almost vilify anyone who does chooses "the evil of abortion" as she repeatedly describes it. Near the very end of her story though, she does admit that being the mother of a special needs child did teach her to have more empathy towards those who feel the need to choose abortion (so she says). Being a woman who is unable to have children myself, I also cringed at lines like (describing her first experiences with motherhood), "We were no longer JUST a couple, we were a family." I truly struggle with books that perpetuate this idea that without children a woman's existence is not complete. It just brings out the involuntary eye roll in me.
So that's it. That's why I'm torn. I struggle with my own personal beliefs clashing with Ohden's. Enough to where it makes me uncomfortable as the reader, enough to where I may even feel her views are naive or misguided at times (hey, I'm allowed to have my opinions too -- I AM a blogger after all), but not so much that I shut my ears / mind off to her. In fact, I quite enjoyed hearing her story. As I said, the writing style is impressive, the flow is nice, and while I might not always be on same page with her, I do think she handles a tricky subject with impressive grace, bringing a conversational tone to a topic that very much needs regular discussion. I was even surprised to learn that Ohden and I share a very similar recurring nightmare -- Wild!
I'd recommend this read for anyone interested in the topics of medical education (specifically abortion, obviously), feminism, women's health, women's issues or adoption stories. Differing beliefs or opinions aside, there's always an education to be had in hearing someone else's story.
FTC Disclaimer: Handlebar (Plough) Publishing kindly provided me with a complimentary copy of this book with a request that I might check it out and share my thoughts. The opinions above are entirely my own.
May 25, 2024
Five stars, a good kind of heavy! If you struggle with topics relating to miscarriage, abandonment, or abortion, proceed with caution. I appreciate Melissa's vulnerability and transparency while sharing intimate details of her life. This story of forgiveness and accepting circumstances as they are was both cathartic and thought-provoking.
This memoir also kind of reads like a mystery novel as she documents a search for her birth parents that kept me guessing. This is a short read, but a good one! Prepare for tears.
This memoir also kind of reads like a mystery novel as she documents a search for her birth parents that kept me guessing. This is a short read, but a good one! Prepare for tears.
December 27, 2016
I received the You Carried Me – a Daughter’s Memoir from Handlebar to read, and to review on my blog. The story sounded really interesting, and I couldn’t wait to start reading. Hearing a story like this, and how someone who has gone through this type of thing in their life, I wondered if they would make it into a positive or a negative. Melissa decided to focus on the positives in her life, and write about her story, I’m sure to help others.
Her life story, and memoir was amazing. Being able to hear how she got through her life, with all of the negatives that so tried to take it over. Being able to be a light to the world, through this negative start to the story. I so wish that there were more like her in this world. Too many parents-to-be are making that bad decision, to end their pregnancies early. They are taking from the world someone like Melissa, who can be such a great voice for people in general. Can you imagine the world leaders, teachers, businessmen and just friends that were not able to join this world, due to someone wanting to end their so-called “mistake?” I just wish the process of adoption was easier. So many people would have the smiles in their homes, that they aren’t personally able to give. The world would definitely be a better place. Just like it is for the daughter of this great story.
I would really recommend reading this book. In today’s world of people thinking that taking lives is no big deal, I pray that this story could change someone’s mind. Knowing that that life you are carrying, can make a difference in the world in the future, even if not through you as the parent. Please try to make the correct choice for all involved. There are many that aren’t able to have children, and would love to be able to raise one that someone else is not able to parent. Make that decision to benefit the life of the child, the parent and family to be and yours for the future, to not have to live with that “what if” that I know so many who do.
Do you have someone you know that has shared a story like this one? Did they have some tips that really touched your heart?
Her life story, and memoir was amazing. Being able to hear how she got through her life, with all of the negatives that so tried to take it over. Being able to be a light to the world, through this negative start to the story. I so wish that there were more like her in this world. Too many parents-to-be are making that bad decision, to end their pregnancies early. They are taking from the world someone like Melissa, who can be such a great voice for people in general. Can you imagine the world leaders, teachers, businessmen and just friends that were not able to join this world, due to someone wanting to end their so-called “mistake?” I just wish the process of adoption was easier. So many people would have the smiles in their homes, that they aren’t personally able to give. The world would definitely be a better place. Just like it is for the daughter of this great story.
I would really recommend reading this book. In today’s world of people thinking that taking lives is no big deal, I pray that this story could change someone’s mind. Knowing that that life you are carrying, can make a difference in the world in the future, even if not through you as the parent. Please try to make the correct choice for all involved. There are many that aren’t able to have children, and would love to be able to raise one that someone else is not able to parent. Make that decision to benefit the life of the child, the parent and family to be and yours for the future, to not have to live with that “what if” that I know so many who do.
Do you have someone you know that has shared a story like this one? Did they have some tips that really touched your heart?
January 10, 2017
Missy Cross always knew she was a beloved, adopted daughter. And she was fine with that. One of her siblings was adopted as well. But at age fourteen, when she learns that her birth was via a botched abortion, her contentment with life takes a radical U-turn.
This poignant and penetrating memoir tackles the realities of abortion and post-abortion syndrome with a provocative yet gentle perspective. Melissa’s telling of her journey to recover her self-worth and learn the truth about her birth mother’s decision is bathed in grace, a testimony to the power of forgiveness.
Moreover, Melissa’s decision as an adult to begin to share her story publicly, despite the prospects of rejection and disbelief that someone could actually survive an abortion unscathed, demonstrates the power of speaking truth into a world riddled with secrecy and shame.
Perhaps the most startling and revealing element of this highly personal memoir is what would have remained hidden and misunderstood forever had Melissa not persisted in locating her birth mother. The truth truly did set her free.
A great read—especially for women suffering from post-abortion syndrome and for those who work with women in crisis pregnancies.
This poignant and penetrating memoir tackles the realities of abortion and post-abortion syndrome with a provocative yet gentle perspective. Melissa’s telling of her journey to recover her self-worth and learn the truth about her birth mother’s decision is bathed in grace, a testimony to the power of forgiveness.
Moreover, Melissa’s decision as an adult to begin to share her story publicly, despite the prospects of rejection and disbelief that someone could actually survive an abortion unscathed, demonstrates the power of speaking truth into a world riddled with secrecy and shame.
Perhaps the most startling and revealing element of this highly personal memoir is what would have remained hidden and misunderstood forever had Melissa not persisted in locating her birth mother. The truth truly did set her free.
A great read—especially for women suffering from post-abortion syndrome and for those who work with women in crisis pregnancies.
January 30, 2020
Welcome to the best memoir I've ever read. Whatever your views on abortion, prepare to be changed if you read this book. This is a story of a child who was meant to die. By the grace of God and the heroic acts of nurses who defied orders, Melissa Ohden survived an abortion attempt. Adopted and raised in a loving home, she went on to change lives through her career in social work and her testimony that each child is worthy of life. Her simple, suspenseful writing style will have you on the edge of your seat as you journey along with her to find her biological parents and uncover the truth about the abortion attempt. Guided by her faith in God, Melissa sends a message of forgiveness to her birth family which is made even stronger when she becomes a mother herself. Melissa's story has the ability to give any hopeless situation that glimmer of faith needed to keep going. This is a story I will not soon forget.
January 7, 2017
This book made a strong impact on me. It is the autobiographical story of an abortion survivor, who is adopted by a loving family. As the story is told, the horror of abortion is more clear, how it not only kills an unborn child, but the wounds of this violence reach far. Many people just don't realize how devastating abortion is, and how it isn't only about the baby, or the mother.
The author has taken her story, and made it into one of forgiveness and healing. I think Melissa Ohden is courageous woman and am thankful that she is willing to tell her story and speak up for those who have no voice.
The Plough Publishing House sent me a free copy of this book, in exchange for a review.
December 29, 2016
Although it doesn't qualify as great literature, Melissa Ohden's story is an interesting and compelling one. Its message of forgiveness is so important - especially for anyone who has suffered as a result of abortion. Mrs. Ohden's story is unflinchingly honest and heartfelt, and I hope that it helps to both heal hearts and change minds. Her story demonstrates the long-reaching effects of abortion and its violence against families - especially women. It, however, also reaches out with a message of hope for survivors. I sincerely hope that it reaches a large audience, and that the barbarous practice of killing human beings in utero will cease - totally replaced with loving alternatives.
February 7, 2017
Not an easy read, but incredibly worth it
As someone who has a heart for the pro-life cause, hearing about the premise behind this book garnered my interest immediately. I downloaded it to my kindle as soon as I could. The story of Melissa Ohden's survival after a failed abortion and journey for answers was not an easy read for me. I shed tears reading her story. But it is a book I am so glad I took the time to read. Not only does it solidify my convictions even further, but stresses the importance, love, and the value of every life. Poignant, touching, and simply amazing.
As someone who has a heart for the pro-life cause, hearing about the premise behind this book garnered my interest immediately. I downloaded it to my kindle as soon as I could. The story of Melissa Ohden's survival after a failed abortion and journey for answers was not an easy read for me. I shed tears reading her story. But it is a book I am so glad I took the time to read. Not only does it solidify my convictions even further, but stresses the importance, love, and the value of every life. Poignant, touching, and simply amazing.
March 18, 2017
If I could do a 5 + rating I would. I couldn't put this book down once I picked it up. It's.a true story about grace and forgiveness only God can help us with especially when horrible situations have happened. I highly recommend it.
February 12, 2017
One of the best books I have read that gets to the heart of why fighting for life is so important. I dare anyone to read this and still justify why abortion should be legal.
March 18, 2020
What a powerful story about a woman who was born as the result of a saline abortion. After the abortion it was noticed that she was still breathing and she was taken to the NiCU and saved. She was adopted by a wonderful family and had a great childhood but didnt know she was the product of an abortion until she was 14. This news sent her on a downward spiral for a while, but ultimately it led her on a road to find her biological family. A faith-based story which had its ups and downs for the author. I think you will like this book even if you are pro-life and may make you re-evaluate your position and even if it doesn't I don't think you can come away from this story without being moved.
February 9, 2020
Melissa Ohden survived a botched abortion. She searches for her birth parents and finds them. She also deals with her own anger and others' rejection.
Well written but some questions about the details of the abortion were not answered.
4 stars
Well written but some questions about the details of the abortion were not answered.
4 stars
February 8, 2024
A beautiful light/life amidst the ugliness and darkness of abortion. Melissa’s story is one of forgiveness, God’s grace, and courage. An excellent read.
(Side note: I do not follow Catholicism. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal forgiveness and pardon.)
(Side note: I do not follow Catholicism. Jesus Christ is the only way to eternal forgiveness and pardon.)
October 25, 2021
Wow, what an amazing life story! This girl’s teenage years were pretty rough, but learning she was an abortion survivor took her on an incredible journey as she searched for her birth parents. I was reminded how babies are not the only victims of abortion - mothers are too! So many women are forced to get an abortion by people more powerful than them. 💔
So much for “pro-women” and “pro-choice”, it’s actually “pro-convenience for the powerful” 😡
The author ends up Catholic so not a strong salvation testimony, but God has used her to be a voice for the unborn as her life is an absolute miracle!💜💜💜
So much for “pro-women” and “pro-choice”, it’s actually “pro-convenience for the powerful” 😡
The author ends up Catholic so not a strong salvation testimony, but God has used her to be a voice for the unborn as her life is an absolute miracle!💜💜💜
October 21, 2021
It was an read in an hour kinda book. It is a great book!
March 21, 2018
An incredible story. Sad, hopeful, wonderfully written and, were it not true, sounds like material for a soap. It is a beautiful memoir, and wonderful to read the point of view of someone who has been through abortion. I love that Melissa can tell some of what her birth mother went through as well as what abortion has done to her. I imagine this is a book that will come to mind often in years to come. I’m grateful Melissa continues to speak out and hope her story will continue to save lives, and work towards ending abortion.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 27, 2017
This is a well-written, compelling autobiography. It stirred many emotions and thoughts in me, especially because I was born in the same year as the author and several of our life events tracked together. There were three main thoughts/feelings that arose within me as I read Melissa's story:
1. Absolute revulsion for abortion. I do not know how anyone could see a baby burned, dismembered, or scissors stuck in its brain stem and still support the practice. I was reminded why I am so strongly pro-life and how sick the practice of abortion is.
2. Disgust at the way abortion survivors and women who either were forced into abortion or regret it are treated by abortion advocates. Abortion has become a badge of honor and freedom for many in our society and they cannot abide any person who challenges this. That these people are struggling with pain and hurt and that abortion advocates deride them, mock them, call them liars, and basically trample them is horrifying. It made me angry that these people are treated so mercilessly.
3. You would think with the first two points above that Melissa's book is a raging rallying cry against abortion. That's not what it is. The two points above are my reactions to the things that Melissa and others have gone through. Melissa is an amazing woman with a compassionate heart. The main message of this book is that kindness, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness must be extended to those caught up in the practice of abortion. This is the message that touched me most, that helped me to step beyond my feelings of anger and disgust. That helped me to extend sympathy and, at times pity, to those who think this is the best way.
I highly recommend this book. I would hope abortion advocates would be able to engage a story from someone who actually gives a voice to the often voiceless. I hope they would be willing to be faced with a person who has survived a practice they uphold. I hope they would be willing to hear from her and truly engage her story and that of her parents. Maybe. But I know for certain pro-life advocates will take from Melissa's story an understanding of why our stand matters and be encouraged as we, especially women, are often attacked and hated. Life matters. And the practice that legally and regularly destroys it should not be ignored.
1. Absolute revulsion for abortion. I do not know how anyone could see a baby burned, dismembered, or scissors stuck in its brain stem and still support the practice. I was reminded why I am so strongly pro-life and how sick the practice of abortion is.
2. Disgust at the way abortion survivors and women who either were forced into abortion or regret it are treated by abortion advocates. Abortion has become a badge of honor and freedom for many in our society and they cannot abide any person who challenges this. That these people are struggling with pain and hurt and that abortion advocates deride them, mock them, call them liars, and basically trample them is horrifying. It made me angry that these people are treated so mercilessly.
3. You would think with the first two points above that Melissa's book is a raging rallying cry against abortion. That's not what it is. The two points above are my reactions to the things that Melissa and others have gone through. Melissa is an amazing woman with a compassionate heart. The main message of this book is that kindness, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness must be extended to those caught up in the practice of abortion. This is the message that touched me most, that helped me to step beyond my feelings of anger and disgust. That helped me to extend sympathy and, at times pity, to those who think this is the best way.
I highly recommend this book. I would hope abortion advocates would be able to engage a story from someone who actually gives a voice to the often voiceless. I hope they would be willing to be faced with a person who has survived a practice they uphold. I hope they would be willing to hear from her and truly engage her story and that of her parents. Maybe. But I know for certain pro-life advocates will take from Melissa's story an understanding of why our stand matters and be encouraged as we, especially women, are often attacked and hated. Life matters. And the practice that legally and regularly destroys it should not be ignored.
February 7, 2017
Melissa Ohden’s story is more than remarkable; it is both heart-wrenching and heart-lifting. Not only knowing that she will be persecuted for both her story and her stand, but also already having experienced that persecution for speaking the truth of her life in the past, she lays her heart boldly on the page. The writing may not be Austen-esque, but that does not in any way detract from the power of her story.
But this is more than just a memoir of Melissa’s survival. It is a model of triumph and forgiveness from which all Christians, all people, can learn. If anyone could have a reason to be bitter and unmerciful, it is a woman who discovered that she was the product of an unsuccessful abortion, believing that she was unwanted before she was even born. Yet, though she does run the gamut of emotions over the years, Melissa finds that there is so much more freedom and joy and strength in forgiveness.
She is an inspiration to all. And this is a book that is not to be missed. I most highly recommend it.
Many thanks to Plough Publishing House and Julie from Handlebar for the chance to read this amazing memoir. I was not required to give a positive review. All opinions are my very own!
But this is more than just a memoir of Melissa’s survival. It is a model of triumph and forgiveness from which all Christians, all people, can learn. If anyone could have a reason to be bitter and unmerciful, it is a woman who discovered that she was the product of an unsuccessful abortion, believing that she was unwanted before she was even born. Yet, though she does run the gamut of emotions over the years, Melissa finds that there is so much more freedom and joy and strength in forgiveness.
She is an inspiration to all. And this is a book that is not to be missed. I most highly recommend it.
Many thanks to Plough Publishing House and Julie from Handlebar for the chance to read this amazing memoir. I was not required to give a positive review. All opinions are my very own!
February 7, 2017
I would like to thank LibraryThing and Plough Publishing House for the edition of "You Carried Me" A Daughter's Memoir by Melissa Ohden. Melissa Ohden is a young teenager when she learns that she is the survivor of a botched abortion. It seems that her biological mother was in a later stage of pregnancy than was thought. Using a saline solution to terminate pregnancy in surviors can cause serious abnormalities.Luckily Melissa is healthy and adopted by a loving family.
Melissa's goal is to find out who her biological parents are and why they wanted to abort her rather than find an adoptive home. She researches and tries to find them. Melissa does meet other abortion survivors, some with major disabilities.
As Melissa matures, and gets married she continues to research and does find the names and sends letters to both her biological parents.Melissa has a daughter, and soon after miscarries,losing a son.
Melissa is religious and speaks at functions against abortion.At times, she is asked to show who an abortion survivor is.
There are frustrations and obstacles to getting the answers that are meaningful to Melissa. Melissa shows us that love, hope and faith are important in her life.
Melissa's goal is to find out who her biological parents are and why they wanted to abort her rather than find an adoptive home. She researches and tries to find them. Melissa does meet other abortion survivors, some with major disabilities.
As Melissa matures, and gets married she continues to research and does find the names and sends letters to both her biological parents.Melissa has a daughter, and soon after miscarries,losing a son.
Melissa is religious and speaks at functions against abortion.At times, she is asked to show who an abortion survivor is.
There are frustrations and obstacles to getting the answers that are meaningful to Melissa. Melissa shows us that love, hope and faith are important in her life.
December 28, 2023
Though I am sorry Melissa Ohden arrived in this world the way she claims to have, I can't recommend this book. The story begins simply and softly but it soon turns and becomes very one-sided.
When I picked up the book, I expected anti-abortion comments but I also expected an explanation as to how it was the doctors made such a mistake; that they couldn't tell the difference between a 10 week fetus and and a 30 week fetus. Melissa has one view of the world and life. She has decided that what she believes is the way everyone else should believe and that it is her right to fight to deny other women their right to live their lives they way they believe.
At the beginning of her memoir we are told that her birth mother told the doctor she was 10 weeks pregnant but in fact she was 30 weeks along. I can't believe that the doctor doing the procedure couldn't tell the difference and the author talks about that for a second as if she is going to pursue how that happened but the subject is never brought up again. Supposedly it took the doctor 3 days to get rid of the baby and he couldn't tell the baby was close to term?
When I picked up the book, I expected anti-abortion comments but I also expected an explanation as to how it was the doctors made such a mistake; that they couldn't tell the difference between a 10 week fetus and and a 30 week fetus. Melissa has one view of the world and life. She has decided that what she believes is the way everyone else should believe and that it is her right to fight to deny other women their right to live their lives they way they believe.
At the beginning of her memoir we are told that her birth mother told the doctor she was 10 weeks pregnant but in fact she was 30 weeks along. I can't believe that the doctor doing the procedure couldn't tell the difference and the author talks about that for a second as if she is going to pursue how that happened but the subject is never brought up again. Supposedly it took the doctor 3 days to get rid of the baby and he couldn't tell the baby was close to term?
March 5, 2017
Couldn't put this down, such a heart-rending story!
An AMAZING story, I heard an interview with Michelle on the radio and was so intrigued by her life experiences. I wanted to read her book to learn more. It floored me and made me cry with heartache for what so many people have endured because of abortion. What a long battle it's been. I don't have any experience with abortion but this book has given me such a heart for every person who is painfully touched by its aftermath. I recommend this book to anyone, it only took me three days to read because I couldn't stop thinking about all the details of it! Just....amazing.
An AMAZING story, I heard an interview with Michelle on the radio and was so intrigued by her life experiences. I wanted to read her book to learn more. It floored me and made me cry with heartache for what so many people have endured because of abortion. What a long battle it's been. I don't have any experience with abortion but this book has given me such a heart for every person who is painfully touched by its aftermath. I recommend this book to anyone, it only took me three days to read because I couldn't stop thinking about all the details of it! Just....amazing.
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