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Dakota Adams #1
Apocalypse How?
I never thought I’d have a bounty on my head the size of the Milky Way.
Of course, I never thought I’d be able to bend time, either.
But hey, life is full of surprises.
Don’t get me wrong, feeling like a goddess has its perks, but those perks come with a hefty price. My brain is tapioca. I’m stranded in the middle of dead space. Ratters are using me for target practice, and a giant, cybernetic monster named Oscar wants to use me for a chew toy.
All this because I played superhero (or thief, according to some) and snatched a doomsday device from an intergalactic mobster.
So if I don’t make it out of here alive, remember this:
Above all else, I want a Viking funeral.
Of course, I never thought I’d be able to bend time, either.
But hey, life is full of surprises.
Don’t get me wrong, feeling like a goddess has its perks, but those perks come with a hefty price. My brain is tapioca. I’m stranded in the middle of dead space. Ratters are using me for target practice, and a giant, cybernetic monster named Oscar wants to use me for a chew toy.
All this because I played superhero (or thief, according to some) and snatched a doomsday device from an intergalactic mobster.
So if I don’t make it out of here alive, remember this:
Above all else, I want a Viking funeral.
300 pages, Paperback
Published September 24, 2019
106 people are currently reading
82 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
October 14, 2019
I received this book from Tiny Fox Press and NetGalley in exchange for a review.
Apocalypse How? is a messy trainwreck, and if that’s your style, you’ll probably enjoy it. For the rest of us … let’s just say that I kind of knew how I felt about this book less than 50 pages in, and maybe I should have stopped there. This is basically “Indiana Jones in space” but make Indiana a young woman named Dakota Adams and instead of being an erstwhile archaeology professor she’s a struggling archaeology streamer. Pile on a few more Hitchhiker’s, Doctor Who, and other cult references—I’m sure there’s plenty I missed—then add a frenetic, non-stop rush from one nonsensical set piece to the next, and you’ve got the formula for this book. Galen Surlak-Ramsey pays tribute to numerous cult classic and pop cultural properties of the past, and I’m sure it comes from a place of love. But the overall effect is a bit too cutesy, a bit too rompish, a bit too put on for my tastes.
Allusion is a tricky literary beast. Like most seasonings, a little bit goes a long way. The protagonist’s name, or another name here or there, might have been fine by themselves. But the constant little references makes it seem like the book is showing off. I don’t feel like an insider being rewarded for getting the in-jokes; I feel like I’m being forced to sit through 300 pages of the author showing us how clever he is for working them into the story. It distracts and detracts from the author’s own original ideas—and let’s be clear here: Apocalypse How? does have a cool plot to it.
Oh, right, yeah, sorry, you probably want one of my one-paragraph plot summaries! Here we go.
Dakota Adams is Space Indiana Jones. She gallivants around the galaxy for the glory, the gold, and the 6 people who watch her livestream. She has a furry partner (in the Wookie sense, not the lifestyle sense) named Tolby, and he keeps the ship running so Dakota can keep running from whatever nasty alien creature is chasing her at the time. Dakota’s dream is to find tech from the elusive, perhaps mythical Progenitors, who are exactly what they sound like. When she finally does, the story really gets started, because now an interstellar mob boss is after her, except she suddenly acquires the ability to hop through space-time at the expense of her memories. Soon we’re in a non-linear race to escape a multidimensional spacetime museum that is going to be/will have been/has been destroyed (ugh, time travel tenses).
As mentioned above, I have zero issues with the plot itself. I don’t mind authors leaning on the idea of nigh-omnipotent extinct advanced species who scatter their tech around the universe like candy. The idea that Dakota is on the run from a criminal with enterprise-level resources, and that she’s then in a race against time (literally) to escape before this museum gets destroyed? Makes total sense. I’m in. Let’s do it.
Alas, Surlak-Ramsey’s writing style just leaves me so unsatisfied. First, we almost never get a break. I really like the “scene and sequel” approach to storytelling, but what we get with Apocalypse How? is mostly scene and precious little sequel. The sequels we do find tend to be repetitive and circular (Dakota’s fragmentary memory and time travelling doesn’t help this). Instead, Dakota is typically barrelling from one crisis directly into the next. (I’d comment that this sounds like an Indiana Jones movie, but actually I’ve never watched one. I know, fie!) The consequence is my second complaint: there is so little character development here it’s like trying to watch paint dry if paint could jump through time.
Dakota starts the book as an overconfident, smartass adventure-seeker. She ends the book the same way. Once in a while there are moments where it looks like she’s reflecting and maybe growing and learning some humility. But nope. It bothers me when books’ protagonists start out as badasses without having demonstrated why they’ve earned it. Dakota keeps screwing up, time and again, and it’s really only the time travel power she has that lets her get out of numerous bad decisions. Ironically it might be Tolby, her sidekick, who experiences the most character development of anyone. The rest of the characters, from Pizmo to the Curator to Mister Cyber Squid, are literally one-dimensional stock and archetypes. Nothing wrong with those, of course. But if all your characters are paper-thin, the light source at the top of the literary skybox shines through way too easily, and suddenly it’s all just shadows on the cave wall, you dig? We briefly interact with Dakota’s brother, and she mentions her parents a couple of times, yet we never actually learn where they’re at or what her relationship with them is really like.
In other words, Apocalypse How? is a novel of brilliantly squandered opportunities. I think this is pretty common when authors try to be humorous at the expense of digging deeper. Douglas Adams, from whom Surlak-Ramsey borrows a surname and a lot of references, understood deeply that the absurd is a tool for holding back the despair that we get when we stare into the abyss, the emptiness on the edge of human consciousness. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series begins with the destruction of the Earth, and each book becomes progressively darker, despite its patina of humour, because Adams is ultimately writing about the cold, capricious nature of life. Every time Arthur Dent tries to do something proactive, the universe smacks him down; the most well-adjusted characters, like Zaphod or the character who might be God, are the ones who go with the flow and accept that life is inherently nonsensical.
Moving further afield, consider another favourite TV show of mine, Farscape. This is a show about a human stranded far, far from home without much hope of ever returning there, and he falls in with a group of fugitives. The show is unforgivably funny yet also incredibly sad and bittersweet as well—again, because the writers understand that the humour goes hand-in-hand with the darkness that it must stave off.
Despite its title and the intense, life-threatening situation in which Dakota finds herself, Apocalypse How? never stops mugging for the reader long enough to establish that essential contrast to make the humour work for me. There is a competent adventure story here, but I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it as much as I wanted. Your mileage might vary, but if you’ve been reading my reviews long enough to get a sense of my humour and what works/doesn’t work for me, you can judge whether you’ll be in my camp or not.
Apocalypse How? is a messy trainwreck, and if that’s your style, you’ll probably enjoy it. For the rest of us … let’s just say that I kind of knew how I felt about this book less than 50 pages in, and maybe I should have stopped there. This is basically “Indiana Jones in space” but make Indiana a young woman named Dakota Adams and instead of being an erstwhile archaeology professor she’s a struggling archaeology streamer. Pile on a few more Hitchhiker’s, Doctor Who, and other cult references—I’m sure there’s plenty I missed—then add a frenetic, non-stop rush from one nonsensical set piece to the next, and you’ve got the formula for this book. Galen Surlak-Ramsey pays tribute to numerous cult classic and pop cultural properties of the past, and I’m sure it comes from a place of love. But the overall effect is a bit too cutesy, a bit too rompish, a bit too put on for my tastes.
Allusion is a tricky literary beast. Like most seasonings, a little bit goes a long way. The protagonist’s name, or another name here or there, might have been fine by themselves. But the constant little references makes it seem like the book is showing off. I don’t feel like an insider being rewarded for getting the in-jokes; I feel like I’m being forced to sit through 300 pages of the author showing us how clever he is for working them into the story. It distracts and detracts from the author’s own original ideas—and let’s be clear here: Apocalypse How? does have a cool plot to it.
Oh, right, yeah, sorry, you probably want one of my one-paragraph plot summaries! Here we go.
Dakota Adams is Space Indiana Jones. She gallivants around the galaxy for the glory, the gold, and the 6 people who watch her livestream. She has a furry partner (in the Wookie sense, not the lifestyle sense) named Tolby, and he keeps the ship running so Dakota can keep running from whatever nasty alien creature is chasing her at the time. Dakota’s dream is to find tech from the elusive, perhaps mythical Progenitors, who are exactly what they sound like. When she finally does, the story really gets started, because now an interstellar mob boss is after her, except she suddenly acquires the ability to hop through space-time at the expense of her memories. Soon we’re in a non-linear race to escape a multidimensional spacetime museum that is going to be/will have been/has been destroyed (ugh, time travel tenses).
As mentioned above, I have zero issues with the plot itself. I don’t mind authors leaning on the idea of nigh-omnipotent extinct advanced species who scatter their tech around the universe like candy. The idea that Dakota is on the run from a criminal with enterprise-level resources, and that she’s then in a race against time (literally) to escape before this museum gets destroyed? Makes total sense. I’m in. Let’s do it.
Alas, Surlak-Ramsey’s writing style just leaves me so unsatisfied. First, we almost never get a break. I really like the “scene and sequel” approach to storytelling, but what we get with Apocalypse How? is mostly scene and precious little sequel. The sequels we do find tend to be repetitive and circular (Dakota’s fragmentary memory and time travelling doesn’t help this). Instead, Dakota is typically barrelling from one crisis directly into the next. (I’d comment that this sounds like an Indiana Jones movie, but actually I’ve never watched one. I know, fie!) The consequence is my second complaint: there is so little character development here it’s like trying to watch paint dry if paint could jump through time.
Dakota starts the book as an overconfident, smartass adventure-seeker. She ends the book the same way. Once in a while there are moments where it looks like she’s reflecting and maybe growing and learning some humility. But nope. It bothers me when books’ protagonists start out as badasses without having demonstrated why they’ve earned it. Dakota keeps screwing up, time and again, and it’s really only the time travel power she has that lets her get out of numerous bad decisions. Ironically it might be Tolby, her sidekick, who experiences the most character development of anyone. The rest of the characters, from Pizmo to the Curator to Mister Cyber Squid, are literally one-dimensional stock and archetypes. Nothing wrong with those, of course. But if all your characters are paper-thin, the light source at the top of the literary skybox shines through way too easily, and suddenly it’s all just shadows on the cave wall, you dig? We briefly interact with Dakota’s brother, and she mentions her parents a couple of times, yet we never actually learn where they’re at or what her relationship with them is really like.
In other words, Apocalypse How? is a novel of brilliantly squandered opportunities. I think this is pretty common when authors try to be humorous at the expense of digging deeper. Douglas Adams, from whom Surlak-Ramsey borrows a surname and a lot of references, understood deeply that the absurd is a tool for holding back the despair that we get when we stare into the abyss, the emptiness on the edge of human consciousness. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series begins with the destruction of the Earth, and each book becomes progressively darker, despite its patina of humour, because Adams is ultimately writing about the cold, capricious nature of life. Every time Arthur Dent tries to do something proactive, the universe smacks him down; the most well-adjusted characters, like Zaphod or the character who might be God, are the ones who go with the flow and accept that life is inherently nonsensical.
Moving further afield, consider another favourite TV show of mine, Farscape. This is a show about a human stranded far, far from home without much hope of ever returning there, and he falls in with a group of fugitives. The show is unforgivably funny yet also incredibly sad and bittersweet as well—again, because the writers understand that the humour goes hand-in-hand with the darkness that it must stave off.
Despite its title and the intense, life-threatening situation in which Dakota finds herself, Apocalypse How? never stops mugging for the reader long enough to establish that essential contrast to make the humour work for me. There is a competent adventure story here, but I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it as much as I wanted. Your mileage might vary, but if you’ve been reading my reviews long enough to get a sense of my humour and what works/doesn’t work for me, you can judge whether you’ll be in my camp or not.
September 24, 2019
Dakota Adams is on the hunt for treasure. After getting a tip on a rare relic, she searches an abandoned ship. As soon as she gets her hands on it, she’s attacked by the ship’s security and barely escapes with her life. It’s worth a king’s ransom and places her in the cross hairs of many enemies. On the run with her trusty sidekick (a warrior space tiger), they discover the artifact’s power of time travel. As she travels through time, Dakota goes from one adventure to the next by the skin of her teeth. Will she stay one step ahead of the alien mobster whose time travel device she’s stolen or will she get her Viking funeral after all?
Apocalypse How? is a delightful rib-tickler science fiction romp. It’s part Hitchhiker’s Guide, part Spaceballs, part Indiana Jones and 100% hilarious. Dakota is a wise-cracking badass heroine with the uncanny ability to get out of jams. Her sidekick is the straight-faced person in this comedic duo. Brilliant. As you might’ve guessed, Galen Surlak-Ramsey spoofs on all the sci fi themes but does it in such a way as to make the reader chuckle.
Why is this a five-star book? The plot moved warp-speed which propelled me to see how fast I could whip through this book. The characters, while a touch cliché at times, were so much fun, I was sad when it ended. I wanted more! The action/adventure was spot-on. The dialogue, though, is what sells this as a must-read for me. I kept bursting out laughing as I read. People stared at me when I read it in public. Galen Surlak-Ramsey sure knows comedic timing and it was a joy to read. Highly recommend!
Favorite Character/Quote:
“Death is the black hole of life. There’s no escaping it. You can never actually see what it’s like without crossing the event horizon. And ever since death’s discovery, beings from across the universe have had countless thoughts on what the afterlife would be like, assuming there was one.”
My Rating: 5 stars
Reviewed by: Mrs. N
This review first appeared: https://www.nnlightsbookheaven.com/si...
Apocalypse How? is a delightful rib-tickler science fiction romp. It’s part Hitchhiker’s Guide, part Spaceballs, part Indiana Jones and 100% hilarious. Dakota is a wise-cracking badass heroine with the uncanny ability to get out of jams. Her sidekick is the straight-faced person in this comedic duo. Brilliant. As you might’ve guessed, Galen Surlak-Ramsey spoofs on all the sci fi themes but does it in such a way as to make the reader chuckle.
Why is this a five-star book? The plot moved warp-speed which propelled me to see how fast I could whip through this book. The characters, while a touch cliché at times, were so much fun, I was sad when it ended. I wanted more! The action/adventure was spot-on. The dialogue, though, is what sells this as a must-read for me. I kept bursting out laughing as I read. People stared at me when I read it in public. Galen Surlak-Ramsey sure knows comedic timing and it was a joy to read. Highly recommend!
Favorite Character/Quote:
“Death is the black hole of life. There’s no escaping it. You can never actually see what it’s like without crossing the event horizon. And ever since death’s discovery, beings from across the universe have had countless thoughts on what the afterlife would be like, assuming there was one.”
My Rating: 5 stars
Reviewed by: Mrs. N
This review first appeared: https://www.nnlightsbookheaven.com/si...
August 17, 2019
DNF
This is borrowing heavily from all over: The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Indiana Jones and more. I would like a little more originality, please.
I have grown since the 70's and 80's where Douglas Adams humor was the bomb, and I found this to be too forced funny for my taste.
Sorry this is just not for me.
☛ I requested an advanced copy of this title from NetGalley, and I'm voluntarily making this review.
This is borrowing heavily from all over: The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Indiana Jones and more. I would like a little more originality, please.
I have grown since the 70's and 80's where Douglas Adams humor was the bomb, and I found this to be too forced funny for my taste.
Sorry this is just not for me.
☛ I requested an advanced copy of this title from NetGalley, and I'm voluntarily making this review.
September 17, 2019
A young female Indiana Jones named Dakota gets a hot tip on the location of potential progenitor artifacts. Quickly traveling light-years to the location, she begins an adventure that has her running from one protagonist to another. Fortunately, her pilot and close friend, an evolved cat-related hominid with super quick reflexes, continuously come to her rescue.
The scenes, which Dakota’s adventures take place in, are imaginative and the strange characters she meets are hard to accept as real. Equally hard to accept is how Dakota manages to avoid death from repeatedly being shot at, tortured, or from blindly jumping into time and space portals whose destinations she can’t be absolutely sure of.
While the dialog appears to be aimed at a young adult reader, the story is a fun adventure for any reader. I found myself looking forward to every reading opportunity. The only criticism I have of the book is the artwork on the cover. It looks like it came from a book written in the early 1950s.
This is a fun read that I’m sure any reader will enjoy.
The scenes, which Dakota’s adventures take place in, are imaginative and the strange characters she meets are hard to accept as real. Equally hard to accept is how Dakota manages to avoid death from repeatedly being shot at, tortured, or from blindly jumping into time and space portals whose destinations she can’t be absolutely sure of.
While the dialog appears to be aimed at a young adult reader, the story is a fun adventure for any reader. I found myself looking forward to every reading opportunity. The only criticism I have of the book is the artwork on the cover. It looks like it came from a book written in the early 1950s.
This is a fun read that I’m sure any reader will enjoy.
September 10, 2019
Genre: SciFi
Rating: 4.2/5
Review: A tongue and cheeky space opera that pokes fun at all the past tropes. What I feared might become a stained attempt at brevity and forced dialogue was quashed by a writer with a flair for characterization, pacing and painting the descriptive.
A truly fun read that begs for more.
Rating: 4.2/5
Review: A tongue and cheeky space opera that pokes fun at all the past tropes. What I feared might become a stained attempt at brevity and forced dialogue was quashed by a writer with a flair for characterization, pacing and painting the descriptive.
A truly fun read that begs for more.
October 8, 2019
This book is a great fun romp through space, and just a little bit of time . . . And again. Fast paced, full of action, and some very funny moments. Loved the kick-butt main character and her very tolerant sidekick, and their adventure where one thing after another was just not quite a success. I’m really looking forward to the next one in the series
September 1, 2019
This was so much fun! Dakota was hilarious and brave, bordering often on reckless lol. She always had a sassy comeback and got herself and her friends into trouble. In this story Dakota and her friend Tolby, a giant intergalactic warrior cat (yes!), find a prehistoric artefact and set out to use it to find a long lost colony ship. Along the way they run afoul of a powerful collector, let a giant monster free, jump space and time, and learn about time paradoxes.
A thrill of a ride from start to finish with hints of Indiana Jones and our favourite space-time jumper Dr. Who. I was entertained throughout and am looking forward to more from Dakota and Tolby. Giant warrior space kitties are amazing!!
A thrill of a ride from start to finish with hints of Indiana Jones and our favourite space-time jumper Dr. Who. I was entertained throughout and am looking forward to more from Dakota and Tolby. Giant warrior space kitties are amazing!!
September 4, 2019
This was a fun read; frothy and mindless sci-fi with plenty of action. There were a couple of minor annoyances - for a human so many centuries in the future, Dakota (the protagonist) relied a LOT on early 21st century slang and idiomatic expressions ("Sorry, not sorry...") and a bit more space/time hopping than I felt was necessary. Still, in all, worthwhile and enjoyable read.
September 24, 2019
Apocalypse How was a fun introduction to Galen Surlak-Ramsey's writing and Dakota Adams' adventures. The story felt like a mix between Lara Croft Tomb Raider and Guardians of the Galaxy. It was a lot of fun to read and Dakota Adams is a fun personality "lense" to read the story through.
Dakota and Toby (her best friend/first mate/etc) are wreckage scavengers and try to make that one find that will set them up for a good, long while. When Dakota stumbles upon some ancient tech that's worth a fortune, she quickly attracts the attention of a ruthless businessman who wants it for his own collection. Now Dakota and Toby are in a race to reclaim the prized loot before they end up dead.
Dakota is a blast. She's a risk-taker who is always ready with a funny quip. She's one of those characters who doesn't get everything right the first time, but somehow manages to come through in the end. Toby is her best friend who's there beside her through every ill-advised (by Toby) plan that Dakota comes up with.
I loved this adventure. The main characters were fun to follow along and the adventure was great too. There's some time-travel elements (a big part of this story), which are handled well without being unrealistic. What I mean is there are limitations to the time-travel and not just some unbelievable space magic going on here. I really liked this book and can't wait to read the next one in the series. I'll be looking fro more stories from Galen as well.
I received a free review copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Dakota and Toby (her best friend/first mate/etc) are wreckage scavengers and try to make that one find that will set them up for a good, long while. When Dakota stumbles upon some ancient tech that's worth a fortune, she quickly attracts the attention of a ruthless businessman who wants it for his own collection. Now Dakota and Toby are in a race to reclaim the prized loot before they end up dead.
Dakota is a blast. She's a risk-taker who is always ready with a funny quip. She's one of those characters who doesn't get everything right the first time, but somehow manages to come through in the end. Toby is her best friend who's there beside her through every ill-advised (by Toby) plan that Dakota comes up with.
I loved this adventure. The main characters were fun to follow along and the adventure was great too. There's some time-travel elements (a big part of this story), which are handled well without being unrealistic. What I mean is there are limitations to the time-travel and not just some unbelievable space magic going on here. I really liked this book and can't wait to read the next one in the series. I'll be looking fro more stories from Galen as well.
I received a free review copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
September 17, 2019
There just isn't much to say about this book.
It's pure space opera fluff. Nothing very out of the ordinary in any way... good or bad. I got through the whole thing, which is more than I can say for a lot of books that try for this kind of light adventure stuff. But ask me in a month or so if I can remember anything about the plot or the characters. I very well might not.
I'm pretty sure I won't remember the ending, since there barely was one. The heroes get away, the end.
There's a sequel due to be published in a couple months. I guess if I can snag a really cheap copy, or borrow it, and if I can't find anything else to read, I might consider reading it.
It's pure space opera fluff. Nothing very out of the ordinary in any way... good or bad. I got through the whole thing, which is more than I can say for a lot of books that try for this kind of light adventure stuff. But ask me in a month or so if I can remember anything about the plot or the characters. I very well might not.
I'm pretty sure I won't remember the ending, since there barely was one. The heroes get away, the end.
There's a sequel due to be published in a couple months. I guess if I can snag a really cheap copy, or borrow it, and if I can't find anything else to read, I might consider reading it.
September 15, 2019
This was a fun read, and the reader has to completely suspend any thoughts of reality anywhere in this book. Well, that's okay with me! It's pretty obvious what's going to happen along the way, but it's a hot and runny galaxious mixture of every 80s scifi/action/adventure you've ever seen.
If you want a wee bit of a giggle, entertained to rollercoaster effect, an MC who is Speedy Gonzales-like, and to be taken all over the joint by her and a (lovely) tiger, then this is the one for you!
I chose this book from a larger selection, received a free review copy from StoryOrigin, which I then voluntarily read and honestly reviewed. All opinions are my own.
If you want a wee bit of a giggle, entertained to rollercoaster effect, an MC who is Speedy Gonzales-like, and to be taken all over the joint by her and a (lovely) tiger, then this is the one for you!
I chose this book from a larger selection, received a free review copy from StoryOrigin, which I then voluntarily read and honestly reviewed. All opinions are my own.
September 10, 2019
A fun read with a lot of interesting twists and turns. Does well dealing with how time travel is such a complicated situation. Some points were overly complicated but overall a good read.
I received a free review copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free review copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
September 7, 2019
Dakota cracks me up. She's a girl who's dead set on gaining fortune and fame by unearthing lost civilizations, and in the processes, makes risky decisions without always thinking things through, which leads to plenty of adventure and tight scrapes. Thankfully, her best friend, a giant tiger-like alien named Tolby, is around to help reign her in.
There's a great world here to explore and awesome characters that are well fleshed out. Looking forward to see where this series goes.
There's a great world here to explore and awesome characters that are well fleshed out. Looking forward to see where this series goes.
August 22, 2019
I received a free copy for an honest review from Netgalley.
For the most part, this book was cheeky and fun and delightfully silly. However, some of the time travel made the book hard to follow. Some of it felt like Matt Smith’s 11th Doctor character, and some hitchhikers guide, but it never quite pulled you through the story smoothly. I wish I could have given Dakota a little adderall to make her a little easier to follow, but I think the scrambled frenetic thing works to some extent with the side effects of time portals.
For the most part, this book was cheeky and fun and delightfully silly. However, some of the time travel made the book hard to follow. Some of it felt like Matt Smith’s 11th Doctor character, and some hitchhikers guide, but it never quite pulled you through the story smoothly. I wish I could have given Dakota a little adderall to make her a little easier to follow, but I think the scrambled frenetic thing works to some extent with the side effects of time portals.
August 18, 2019
tldr: Time travel done hilariously right.
Dakota Adams is a treasure hunter who stumbles on a little artifact that's worth an empire's fortune. This of course, attracts a lot of undesirable attention, which lands her in a lot of hot water right from the start. As she goes on, trying to track down the origins of the artifact (for an even bigger score), she manages to unlock the artifacts true potential with her best space tiger friend, Tolby, which allows them to travel through space and time (but not without cost). What follows is a wild ride with plenty of unseen twists and a fast-paced, high-stakes adventure.
Dakota Adams is a treasure hunter who stumbles on a little artifact that's worth an empire's fortune. This of course, attracts a lot of undesirable attention, which lands her in a lot of hot water right from the start. As she goes on, trying to track down the origins of the artifact (for an even bigger score), she manages to unlock the artifacts true potential with her best space tiger friend, Tolby, which allows them to travel through space and time (but not without cost). What follows is a wild ride with plenty of unseen twists and a fast-paced, high-stakes adventure.
September 13, 2020
A bit Indiana Jones, a bit Firefly, a bit Hitchhiker's Guide, a bit Doctor Who, and yes, even a bit Princess Bride, this story was a rollicking adventure from beginning to end. Rife with sci-fi references from TV, movies, and games, this one was written for fans. The completely convoluted plot somehow made all of these elements its own and did not get lost with the wealth of references, but rather was enriched by them.
Recommended for fans of Telzy and Trigger.
Recommended for fans of Telzy and Trigger.
February 4, 2022
It took me a around 50-100 pages to get into this novel to the point that I knew I would finish reading. The story and character arcs are largely entertaining, but Dakota is a bit of a damsel throughout, and rarely packs efficiently for the journeys or quests she and Tolby set out on. Because of this: I felt like some of the action-sequences and time-bending loops were a whirlwind, although the conventions of weaponry and time travel were sound. The plot and settings are—in essence—your tale of outlaw space buddies searching for the treasure of a mythical generation-ship that long ago went offline, and is seemingly linked to the last remnants of two galaxy-conquering super-races the Protogenors and the Kilbani space tigers: of which Tolby is the last known male survivor.
While being chased by well-armed space pirates, an inter-dimensional space squid, and ratter-locust-orcs in-space, Dakota and Tolby find their 'lost ship' and board just in time to be split apart, so that Dakota can meet Empress and the other secretive occupants of the generational ship, which turns out to be a hundreds of years old museum. This is where Dakota is endowed with her time traveling capabilities and readers are given the conventions by which the technology will work in creating alternate (Storage) galaxies and jumping back in time (but never forward). It mostly works well, but as I said earlier, some scenes descend into a bit of a frenzy with characters going down alternate paths and being sucked into portals.
This tactic is often employed by Dakota, to varying degrees of success for her and her buddies, but why have the most time spent strolling through the museum and perusing the gift shop if none of these items are ever going to be implemented into escaping from a fire-fight? I don't know, maybe the Kilbani were fans of life-sized pin art. Dakota could have created portals for ratters to fall through and see them impaled upon later. That would have been more interesting for me than just pistols and a portal gun to flank the enemies by either position or their time. After a certain number of jumps the through-lines became convoluted to keep track of, especially for where I was expecting the story to go. The Vela as a ship is explored in-depth over the 175 some odd pages that is spent aboard it, but for being the premier setting compared to the planet from the first scene and the space station where Pizlow is met—there could have been more variability.
The existential threat to Dakota of being blown up on the ship by Pizlow wasn't that 'threatening' by the time she was endowed with her portal gun, and by the time Tolby's 'last male heir' storyline is worked in, I wasn't that entranced in their history. I understand that not every space-opera can or should involve the destruction of Earth or a weapon wiping out all life in the galaxy, but that being said the stakes just didn't feel high enough. That being said, I do agree that the characters were witty and the banter was well done. I found Apocalypse How to be a solid escape for the time I spent reading, and that's what I was looking for—but it there wasn't anything too unique or groundbreaking. I may or may not return for the sequel.
While being chased by well-armed space pirates, an inter-dimensional space squid, and ratter-locust-orcs in-space, Dakota and Tolby find their 'lost ship' and board just in time to be split apart, so that Dakota can meet Empress and the other secretive occupants of the generational ship, which turns out to be a hundreds of years old museum. This is where Dakota is endowed with her time traveling capabilities and readers are given the conventions by which the technology will work in creating alternate (Storage) galaxies and jumping back in time (but never forward). It mostly works well, but as I said earlier, some scenes descend into a bit of a frenzy with characters going down alternate paths and being sucked into portals.
This tactic is often employed by Dakota, to varying degrees of success for her and her buddies, but why have the most time spent strolling through the museum and perusing the gift shop if none of these items are ever going to be implemented into escaping from a fire-fight? I don't know, maybe the Kilbani were fans of life-sized pin art. Dakota could have created portals for ratters to fall through and see them impaled upon later. That would have been more interesting for me than just pistols and a portal gun to flank the enemies by either position or their time. After a certain number of jumps the through-lines became convoluted to keep track of, especially for where I was expecting the story to go. The Vela as a ship is explored in-depth over the 175 some odd pages that is spent aboard it, but for being the premier setting compared to the planet from the first scene and the space station where Pizlow is met—there could have been more variability.
The existential threat to Dakota of being blown up on the ship by Pizlow wasn't that 'threatening' by the time she was endowed with her portal gun, and by the time Tolby's 'last male heir' storyline is worked in, I wasn't that entranced in their history. I understand that not every space-opera can or should involve the destruction of Earth or a weapon wiping out all life in the galaxy, but that being said the stakes just didn't feel high enough. That being said, I do agree that the characters were witty and the banter was well done. I found Apocalypse How to be a solid escape for the time I spent reading, and that's what I was looking for—but it there wasn't anything too unique or groundbreaking. I may or may not return for the sequel.
September 3, 2022
Damn, but this was a whole lot of fun. The opening chapter is basically Raiders of the Lost Ark on the ruins of an ancient spaceship, with the rest of the story exploding into Hitchhiker’s Guide territory before twisting it all up with shades of Doctor Who. If that sounds like your thing, then you’re in for a frantic bit of fun.
Apocalypse How? is the story of a girl, her giant tiger, a doomsday device, and an alien monster. Dakota Adams is a young woman, out to make a name for herself by pillaging the ruins of spaceships in search of artifacts from the original colony ships that seeded the universe. She is passionate, energetic, daring, and reckless – an act first, feel bad later, think about it another time kind of girl. How she survives beyond one chapter is only slightly less incredible than how she survives the next. It’s entirely preposterous but more than enough fun to strain the old willing suspension of disbelief.
Tolby, her tiger partner, is kind of a cross between Chewbacca, Ford Prefect, and Samwise Gangee – the wise, clever, handy, loyal best friend who always manages to be in the right place at the right time. Best of all, he’s a friend and a partner, an ally in Dakota’s search for treasure, with no will-they/won’t-they romantic shenanigans to drag the story down.
I hesitate to say much more than that, because this is one of those books where the pleasure of the read eclipses that of the plot. If you’ve watched any of those franchises that inspired it, especially Indiana Jones, then you can probably guess where it’s going, and won’t be especially surprised by all of the twists, but you’ll still be thoroughly entertained. It does get a bit much in the second half, with the efforts to keep up with all jumping around space and time almost as challenging as keeping up with Dakota’s frantic personality, but it’s worth the effort.
Apocalypse How? hooked me with that first chapter, putting some clever sci-fi twists on the opening to Raiders, and all I really wanted it to do was sustain that spirit. Is did so, and then some.
https://femledfantasy.home.blog/2019/...
Apocalypse How? is the story of a girl, her giant tiger, a doomsday device, and an alien monster. Dakota Adams is a young woman, out to make a name for herself by pillaging the ruins of spaceships in search of artifacts from the original colony ships that seeded the universe. She is passionate, energetic, daring, and reckless – an act first, feel bad later, think about it another time kind of girl. How she survives beyond one chapter is only slightly less incredible than how she survives the next. It’s entirely preposterous but more than enough fun to strain the old willing suspension of disbelief.
Tolby, her tiger partner, is kind of a cross between Chewbacca, Ford Prefect, and Samwise Gangee – the wise, clever, handy, loyal best friend who always manages to be in the right place at the right time. Best of all, he’s a friend and a partner, an ally in Dakota’s search for treasure, with no will-they/won’t-they romantic shenanigans to drag the story down.
I hesitate to say much more than that, because this is one of those books where the pleasure of the read eclipses that of the plot. If you’ve watched any of those franchises that inspired it, especially Indiana Jones, then you can probably guess where it’s going, and won’t be especially surprised by all of the twists, but you’ll still be thoroughly entertained. It does get a bit much in the second half, with the efforts to keep up with all jumping around space and time almost as challenging as keeping up with Dakota’s frantic personality, but it’s worth the effort.
Apocalypse How? hooked me with that first chapter, putting some clever sci-fi twists on the opening to Raiders, and all I really wanted it to do was sustain that spirit. Is did so, and then some.
https://femledfantasy.home.blog/2019/...
November 30, 2019
This was a bit of a mixed bag. I have read a number of the author's other books and I was looking forward to this, based on the blurb. A female Indiana Jones? Sign me up! But this was a strange read. There were large parts of it that got bogged down. I really did not care for one of the big plot devices which involved time travel and "portals." The author probably is a big fan of the game "Portal," but in a book, it is just a weird tool.
There were so many other ways it could have gone that would have been better.
There are numerous mentions of time travel paradoxes, and some of the physical effects on the creator of the paradox. But there is no explanation of what a paradox is or what causes it or how to avoid it.
The whole use of time travel and portals in this book was just annoying to me.
And for the first time in ANY book I have read by this author, the book was littered with typos. There were just a ton of them. In the afterward, the writer thanks his editor, but I am not sure why. She missed probably 50-100 mistakes. It is like there was a huge rush to get this one out, so they didn't bother to read it. MOST of those errors are just distracting.
I am not sure about this particular series. I have enjoyed two of the author's other series and I might just need to stick with those. I like his style and he is a decent story teller. But this one might be a bit too middle-schoolish, for me.
There were so many other ways it could have gone that would have been better.
There are numerous mentions of time travel paradoxes, and some of the physical effects on the creator of the paradox. But there is no explanation of what a paradox is or what causes it or how to avoid it.
The whole use of time travel and portals in this book was just annoying to me.
And for the first time in ANY book I have read by this author, the book was littered with typos. There were just a ton of them. In the afterward, the writer thanks his editor, but I am not sure why. She missed probably 50-100 mistakes. It is like there was a huge rush to get this one out, so they didn't bother to read it. MOST of those errors are just distracting.
I am not sure about this particular series. I have enjoyed two of the author's other series and I might just need to stick with those. I like his style and he is a decent story teller. But this one might be a bit too middle-schoolish, for me.
August 14, 2020
This book is a mix of Raiders of the Lost Arc meets Dr Who - and what a mix
Dakota Adams is a young woman, out to make a name for herself by pillaging the ruins of spaceships in search of artifacts from the original colony ships , of the Progenitors , that seeded the universe .
Along with Tolby, a kind of a cross between Chewbacca and Samwise Gangee – the wise, clever, handy, loyal best friend who always manages to be in the right place at the right time , her search for treasure goes on at pace .................. until she snatches a doomsday device from an Intergalactic Mobster .
What follows is an adventure that will suspend belief , newly acquired abilities to bend time causing memory loss just a bit of a problem !!???
This is a fun read , full of action and twist and turns (literally) - entertaining .
I was given an arc of the book by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review
Dakota Adams is a young woman, out to make a name for herself by pillaging the ruins of spaceships in search of artifacts from the original colony ships , of the Progenitors , that seeded the universe .
Along with Tolby, a kind of a cross between Chewbacca and Samwise Gangee – the wise, clever, handy, loyal best friend who always manages to be in the right place at the right time , her search for treasure goes on at pace .................. until she snatches a doomsday device from an Intergalactic Mobster .
What follows is an adventure that will suspend belief , newly acquired abilities to bend time causing memory loss just a bit of a problem !!???
This is a fun read , full of action and twist and turns (literally) - entertaining .
I was given an arc of the book by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review
September 18, 2019
I’m really not sure what to think. I guess the best way to put it is to liken this book to a comedic space opera parody. I loved that there were elements of so many stories mashed together. We had the overall theme from Indiana Jones. There was definitely a hint or two of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Doctor Who, Princess Bride (that made me chuckle), Spaceballs, and others. It was a fun read and action packed, but I had to constantly reread passages once the time jumping came into play. I would really give it a 3.5 stars since it did get a little confusing and I am amazed that Dakota lived at all, with all the portal opening willy nilly all over the place. I’m interested enough to give book two a shot though. I would like to thank Story Origin and Galen Surlak-Ramsey for the Arc so I can leave my unbiased review.
September 24, 2019
The novel starts off running and never really stops. There is no luxury for breath which in part can be attributed to the enormously long run-on-sentences that are injected every so often. Bear in mind that the copy I received is an advanced copy, so there hopefully will be changes before its final iteration. I wanted to like this novel, but execution just seems to fall flat - the whole experience feels like a dream, a tryhard dream with a lot of attempts at sarcastic witticisms.
The novel is not bad per se, it's just not my cup of tea despite all these cool elements - space travel, anthropomorphic animals, giant bald angels, cute robots who lure you in with ice-cream and cake. I feel that it would find a warmer reception with a YA audience.
I received my free copy from LibraryThing Early Reviewers. :)
The novel is not bad per se, it's just not my cup of tea despite all these cool elements - space travel, anthropomorphic animals, giant bald angels, cute robots who lure you in with ice-cream and cake. I feel that it would find a warmer reception with a YA audience.
I received my free copy from LibraryThing Early Reviewers. :)
January 12, 2020
A 'throw everything at the wall and see what sticks' sci-fi attempt that is possibly more suited to a teenage audience.
I'm not entirely sure why I finished this novel as it read more like a kid's cartoon than half-way decent science fiction story. This is a pity as the underlying idea of a strong female lead (and her trusty side kick) discovering ancient artifacts had merit. If this head been more carefully thought out and better executed, I suspect the book would have much more appeal.
It is unfortunate that the central character is reckless, impulsive and happy to lurch from crisis to crisis rather than planning a strategy that does not rely on luck and pointless risk taking.
My advice? Save yourself some time and give this one a miss.
I'm not entirely sure why I finished this novel as it read more like a kid's cartoon than half-way decent science fiction story. This is a pity as the underlying idea of a strong female lead (and her trusty side kick) discovering ancient artifacts had merit. If this head been more carefully thought out and better executed, I suspect the book would have much more appeal.
It is unfortunate that the central character is reckless, impulsive and happy to lurch from crisis to crisis rather than planning a strategy that does not rely on luck and pointless risk taking.
My advice? Save yourself some time and give this one a miss.
Read
June 24, 2020Apocalypse How? (Dakota Adams Book 1), my second read from author Galen Surlak-Ramsey, and the first book in the Dakota Adams series. A fast-paced, fun-to-read humorous science-fiction story. Character & plot development were great. When I was given a Kindle copy of So Close To Home (Dakota Adams Book 3), I didn't know it was the third book in an ongoing series Now I'm going back & reading the first book in the Dakota Adams series. I was given a Kindle copy and I'm voluntarily reading & reviewing it I look forward to reading more in this series. Next up is Spoilers: Things Get Worse (Dakota Adams Book 2). (RIP Marley January 20, 2014 - July 24, 2018).
January 4, 2021
An excellent story, which surprised me! This is a "new to me" author and if his writing continues to be, this good (and it has, so far, because I am into at least 3 chapters of his next book) I have a new author to collect. The characters were believable, despite one of them being a bipedal man-sized tiger. The plot was definitely twisty-turny, yet easily followed and the ending, you will have to read for yourself. I do highly recommend this book and feel it is well worth your time and effort to read.
August 21, 2020
Fun
Madcap, helter-skelter, higgledy-piggledy, insane. Time paradoxes and Indiana Jones-esque archeology, with a side order of live streaming. All in an intergalactic setting that is inventive without being oppressive.
The MC has Synesthesia, which makes her ‘taste’ numbers, adding an odd quirk that makes it easier to accept when her randomness is successful.
To be honest, I stopped reading halfway through for a while. Time travel hurts my brain.
Madcap, helter-skelter, higgledy-piggledy, insane. Time paradoxes and Indiana Jones-esque archeology, with a side order of live streaming. All in an intergalactic setting that is inventive without being oppressive.
The MC has Synesthesia, which makes her ‘taste’ numbers, adding an odd quirk that makes it easier to accept when her randomness is successful.
To be honest, I stopped reading halfway through for a while. Time travel hurts my brain.
January 22, 2021
This turned out a lot better than I was expecting from the first couple of chapters. It's got a stron YA feel (I'm not sure if that's intentional or not) and I don't generally care for YA, but the characters kept me reading to get involved in the story.
And technically it was mercifully free of the flood of typos, "grammos" and generally poor writing plaguing so many new authors (at least, new to me).
Better than average, and worth reading.
And technically it was mercifully free of the flood of typos, "grammos" and generally poor writing plaguing so many new authors (at least, new to me).
Better than average, and worth reading.
February 18, 2023
First of all, space opera is one of my favorite genres. This one isn’t great, but it is pretty good. The author’s use of current common vernacular, in supposedly five centuries in the future, put me off a bit at the start. Things picked up fairly quickly, and I did enjoy the book in the end. Not sure if I will continue the series, however. I stumbled upon this book while browsing at the library, and there are so many great books, and not enough time, to get to them all.
December 30, 2019
Extremely Entertaining
An excellent time travel sci-fi romp that is fast paced and very well written. Interesting characters and fun critters make this a very fun read. Looking forward to the next one.
An excellent time travel sci-fi romp that is fast paced and very well written. Interesting characters and fun critters make this a very fun read. Looking forward to the next one.
January 1, 2020
new author for me..loved the story..the character interaction..want to go on to book 2..just want to know. will it be coming out on Audible too..great narration.
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