I found this happy book in the same Little Free Library I had found “Wonderful Town,” the New Yorker’s collection of short fiction (see my review). This is a collection of some 140 articles from the 1920’s through the early 2000s, written by 64 contributors, many of whom are quite well known, such as Robert Benchley, Dorothy Parker, Garrison Keillor, S. J. Perlman, David Sedaris, John Updike, Woody Allen, Jon Stweart, Steve Martin, Calvin Trillin and E. B. White. The pieces are loosely grouped into 14 obliquely-titled sections (Past Imperfect; Explanations and Advisories; Children’s Hours; Animal Crackers, e.g.).
Some of my personal favorites were:
“Complete Guide for Book Reviewers,” by Ruth Suckow, a must-read for us Goodreads types. It is a purported book on reviewing, with a large number of catch phrases for the writer to use. For example, there are chapters on how to begin the review (“There are times when even the most seasoned reviewer”) or end it (“The reader must read for himself to find out”). Some other examples are from chapters on the modern reviewer’s thesaurus (“like the flash of a rapier); novels of the soil (“Epic sweep”); how to hail a new genius ( ” “As a refreshing antidote to ______”) and sophistication (“not meant for morons”; “brilliant subtlety”). Fun.
“The Early Essays,” by Woody Allen, in which he touches on, among other things, death (“The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife – a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it’s being held.”) and frugality (“Money is not everything, but it is better than having one’s health.”)
“Awake,” by Jenny Allen, in which she describes an insomniac session watching interminable “Law and Order” episodes, and “Girls Gone Wild” (“I have to change the channel right away when I see “Girls Gone Wild,” because I always think about the girls’ mothers,…up in the middle of the night, waking up to ‘Girls Gone Wild.” ‘That one looks just like Melanie – oh my God.’”
“The Envelope, Please: A Viewer’s Guide to the Emmys,” by Jon Stewart, consisting of program notes as to what to expect; spot-on descriptions of generalizations applicable for any host/presenter/honoree.
“The Whore of Mensa,” by Woody Allen. A hardboiled detective story which gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Talk dirty to me.”
“A Hard Day at the Office,” by Peter DeVries, in which an office worker implements the inspirational “Think” signs on the walls and proceeds to plague his boss with musings on just about everything but doing his job.
“Space Case,” by Anthony Lane, a well-deserved skewering-with-a-red-hot-poker of the movie, “Star Wars III – The Revenge of the Sith.” I’ll just give you the first paragraph: “Sith. What kind of a word is that? It sounds to me like the noise that emerges when you block one nostril and blow through the other, but to George Lucas, it is a name that trumpets evil.”
“A Purim Story,” by Aden Gopnick. In the longest article in the book, the author is pulled into giving a humorous speech to a large audience on the Purim story of how Esther saved the Jews. While much of the piece involves the author’s struggles on how to accomplish this task, it also is a moving paean to the Jewish comedians of the past and present, including Jackie Mason, Sid Caesar, Mel Brooks, Norm Crosby, Jackie Vernon, the wonderful Henny Youngman, and Jerry Seinfeld.
Most of these pieces brought a chuckle, occasionally a guffaw. But the one that made me laugh through the tears was Ian Frazer’s “Coyote vs. Acme,” in the form of a lawsuit filed by one Wile E. Coyote against the Acme company. In a document filled with legal jargon, “Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereafter, “Defendant”), through that company’s mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to defects in manufacture or improper cautionary labeling.” The paragraph goes on to say that this has prevented him from pursuing his profession of predator. While a number of products are described, the emphases are on the Rocket Sled, Rocket Skates and Spring-powered Shoes. The descriptions, all given in dull, neutral tones, of the use of these items and their consequences bring immediate recognition to anyone who has ever seen a Road Runner cartoon.
I would highly recommend this collection, though it’s gonna take you some time to get through it. I found out upon reading this book’s introduction that this is the second such collection, the first being titled “Fierce Pajamas.” Gonna pick that one up for sure!