Not Write Now: A How-Not-To Guide for Writing Fiction

by Kyle Robert Shultz

You’ve read all the self-publishing pep talks.

Your book still isn’t published. Or finished.

So why not try a different approach?

Not Write Now isn’t like any book on writing you’ve read before. It won’t tell you to get your hiney in the chair and write. It will tell you to do the exact opposite.

Acclaimed fantasy author Kyle Robert Shultz launches a reverse-psychology attack on your creative blocks that will leave you more eager and determined to write than ever. And he'll give you plenty of laughs along the way.

This may not be the creativity book you’ve been looking for, but it’s definitely the one you need.

Get it now.

Genres: Nonfiction, Writing, Humor, Satire, Ebooks

132 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 30, 2019

About the author

Kyle Robert Shultz is the creator of the Aftermythos, an interconnected collection of stories set in an alternate universe where fairy tales and mythology are history. Shultz is a completely ordinary human being with no remarkable qualities whatsoever. Accounts suggesting that he is a dangerous wizard exiled from a parallel reality, a cleverly-disguised magical creature passing off the history of another world as original fiction, a mysterious trickster entity described in the folklore of a circumscribed region of Wales, or a pseudonym adopted by three talking otters stacked up in a trench coat should be dismissed as not entirely accurate.

Note: I'm not active on Goodreads, so I may not see messages or other notifications. I only use this profile for business, so don't be offended if I don't accept your friend request. If you want to get in touch with me, email me at kyle@aftermythos.com.

Reviews

[deborah o'carroll · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is BRILLIANT and HILARIOUS and all writers should read it. XD

Reverse psychology writing advice, laced throughout with humor (I mean, naturally, given the subject and the author), and totally inspiring in a completely surprising way. I've no idea how it worked so well, but it's genius and so enjoyable!

(My favorite is the chapter about how the author tried to "defeat" Nick and Cordelia by writing their story. It did not . . . go well. XD)

Lots of good advice, disguised as non-advice, and just sheer fun. I don't read nonfiction often, but I loved everything about this one. :D

(Disclaimer: I did edit this, but I loved it so much that reading it three times was fun and delightful, and I can't say that about much nonfiction. XD)

[Christine Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

The short version of this review: If you're a writer, starved for motivation, and like to laugh, YOU NEED THIS BOOK.

It’s an entire writing self-help book trying to convince you to not be a writer. Yep, just the book we all need. I mean, why would you ever want to be one of those insane author people? We’re adults who think it’s still okay to have imaginary friends. We spend hours at a time staring at blinking cursors on the screen and downing gallons of coffee hoping the caffeine will magically make our fingers type out a perfectly constructed story. We pour our hearts and souls into something for other people to freely rip apart.

Writers are weird

This book takes you through the whole writing process, from first draft to a published book, telling you the things you should absolutely do to avoid taking any of these measures. One slip up, and you may just find yourself being a successful author. Obviously you wouldn’t want THAT. The horror!

If you’ve read Kyle Robert Shultz’s novels before, then you know you’re in for a treat of humor. His nonfiction is no different! This book had me ROLLING.

In reverse-psychology fashion, it tells you why becoming an bonafide author is, obviously, a very bad idea. It brilliantly takes you, step-by-step, through the book making process and how to keep at it and stay inspired— AHEM. Excuse me. How to not keep at it and never, ever let that story idea out is what I meant. Yes. Slip of the tongue there.

In all seriousness, sometimes self-help books can be a little overwhelming as they try to convince you to achieve ALL THE THINGS. Not Write Now is completely different. It hilariously gives you examples of how we, truthfully, do avoid writing. From wasting time on social media to letting our perfectionism and fears hold us back. But instead of shaming you for it, it inspires you to pick up pen and WRITE, all while providing so very many laughs.

If you’re a writer of any kind, you need this book! It is for everyone who has a story inside them. For those of us who know this life of writing is absurd and difficult, but we want to do it anyway. Because creating a story is also one of the most magical, beautiful things on this earth.

It’s not so much a guide of how to craft a book, but why you should be writing, with wonderful tidbits on staying motivated and getting words on the page.

Quick, hilarious, and beyond brilliant with its tongue-in-cheek humor and reverse-psychology methods, this is the book, like the blurb says, you didn’t know you wanted, but NEED.

Read full review on my blog:
https://christinesmithauthor.com/2019/06/book-review-not-write-now-by-kyle-robert-shultz/

[Katja Labonté · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+ stars (6/10 hearts). I picked this up for a reread because I remembered how humorous it was and I wanted to enjoy the comedy all over again. I forgot, though, how encouraging it was and how it would motivate me to write again! Honestly, this is one of the few books I’d label “brilliant.” The author’s tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic, wildly ridiculous, humorous wit makes every page a delight to read. It’s also an excellent help for every level of writing—plotting; writing beginning, middle, and end; editing; publishing; marketing… And the lists of resources at the end are splendid. In short, this is a great resource for all authors, and definitely to be read when you feel like “not write now.”

A Favourite Quote: The vast majority of readers aren’t nearly as picky about details as you are, and won’t condemn your book to the bonfire if you got a supporting character’s hair color wrong in Chapter Seven. In fact, if the story is a fun read, they’ll even overlook far more glaring flaws in the story. So you’re not nearly as limited as you’d like to be in this regard.… In the end, no author ever actually feels that his or her book is “done” or “perfect.” The state of perfect satisfaction with one’s book is unattainable.
A Favourite Humorous Quote: It will get worse and worse with every book, until you become nothing more than a writing machine, flooding the market with your stories and enjoying every minute of it. 
I don’t mean to depress you with all this. This is my last, desperate attempt to rescue you from the perils of story crafting. It probably won’t work, but at least I can say I tried. 
It didn’t work, did it? I can sense it. Either you’re already well on your way to getting your book done once and for all, or you’ve actually finished and published it. This is a very sad day. I shall remember you fondly and write mournful ballads in your honor.

[Joseph Leskey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, if you want a book that happens to be like this one, this is the one to read. As some Anglophone in Spain might have said only yesterday, fact is fact, and I, in total agreement, will add that fact as a collective model of the several integral parts of reality includes the simple, unrefined truth that Kyle Robert Shultz is as incredible at writing nonfiction as he is at writing fiction. Which really is very good of him, because that means I was able to enjoy reading this book.

First off, I must note that the author, sadly enough for those folks who like to be all gloomy, did not sacrifice his remarkable sense of humor in order to write this book. Fortunately, if you are opposed to humor, the sheer amount of the stuff in this book will quickly depress you, so you have nothing to worry about. On the other hand, if you do enjoy humor, Chapter 2 alone is worth every bit of trouble obtaining Not Write Now put you through—actually it's worth way more, in most cases.

But we're not here for Chapter 2, even if it is one of the best things since pineapple on pizza; we're here for the whole book. At least I am, and I'm the reviewer, so I get to decide what's what.

Accordingly, I'd better address something real quick that might really hit you hard, so here goes. This book is not actually that great at crushing one's writing nature. Of course, if you've read the book's description or something, you already know that, but you might have just gone straight to my review. But, yeah, although this book flawlessly delivers authoritative, applicable, and accurate information on how and why to combat this particular form of creativity, the end result is quite the opposite. Seriously, this thing could get you published if you're not careful.†

Of course, for people who want to write and publish, the aforementioned facts are extraordinarily kindly ones. And, of course, this is the point of the book. By an intensely clever construction of objections to and precautions against writing, the author brilliantly simplifies and eradicates the selfsame problems, causing an overall renewed desire—and, perhaps, a keener ability—to get all productive.

Hmmm. I guess that's all, really, because I imagine myself pressed for time and I forgot what I was going to say. So, simply put, you should probably read this book—it's fantastic.


——
† This is an educated guess, not any sort of legally significant guarantee.

[Kate Willis · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Before we get started, I just want to say, I delayed my writing time yesterday to finish reading this book, so it was mildly successful at its stated goal. Though only *mildly* successful. XD )

If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you probably already know that I’m not a happy reader of non-fiction. I’m beginning to think I was reading (er, attempting to read) the wrong type of non-fiction, but that’s a story for another time.

This book happened to be on a topic I’m highly interested in, written in a painfully humorous, satirical style, and while it claimed not to be, it ended up being very helpful. I especially felt called out by the “advice” to “make writing not fun anymore”. I fall into that sometimes, and not even on purpose. XD I also loved the balanced view of “plotting” vs. “pantsing”, and deep in this messy draft of my own, I needed the reminder of just how special a first draft is.

Best quotes: “A finished draft, no matter how flawed, is a very dangerous thing.”

“Whatever it takes to prevent you having fun, do it. Deliberately use a writing method that doesn’t work for you. Force yourself to take the draft in a direction you’re not excited about just to make it more marketable. Write while being chased by a swarm of killer bees.”

I will definitely be sharing this book with others, and I’m excited to look up a few things on the list of “Resources to Avoid”. ;)

[C.O. Bonham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my this is a book that I didn't know I needed. I have been trying for so long to give up writing. Everytime I try to not create, words will insist on appearing in a word document.

Finally, author Kyle Robert Shultz, a self admitted failure at not writing, has provided me with the tools I need to kick this writing bug once and for all. I can't wait to see all of the free time I will have once I am am no longer enslaved to the keyboard.

Wait a minute, what? Oh no I've done it again! Look at all those words I just wrote. Clearly I need to reread this book.

Oh I forgot to do the exercises that must be it. I will reread this book and do the exercises after each chapter. Then I will finally be able to stop writing.

*Seriously though this book is a humorous look at all of those excuses we use to get out of writing. It is both motivational for writers and an eye opener as you realize how many of these methods you already subconsciously employ.*

[Amelie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t tell you how many times I laughed while reading this brilliant reverse-psychology writing book. Yep. It’s effective. (But wait, you don’t want to be a writer, do you? Stop reading this review! I’m a hopeless case.) I don’t think I could discipline myself enough to write an (almost) entirely ironic book, but the author pulled it off perfectly.

I think I laughed the hardest at Chapter 2, when Kyle was describing how he miserably failed at not writing Beaumont & Beasley. (Afterverse fans should read this for Chapter 2 alone. *grins*)

This book is the perfect mix of humor, encouragement, and, somehow, seriousness. While “educating” yourself to not write, you feel horrified at how writers who end up squashing their creativity turn out. I finished the book with a reinforced motivation to write and finish what I start.

Note: this is geared more towards indie writers, since Kyle is an indie author and has more experience in that area. But those with a traditional publishing goal can certainly benefit, too!

If you’re a writer, especially if you’re low on motivation and in need of some good laughs, Not Write Now is a must-read.

[Squire Whitney: Hufflepuff Book Reviwer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not Write Now is fun, tongue in cheek, satirical nonfiction written in the hilariously signature style of my favorite indie author. I found the sections about Nick and Cordelia haunting poor Shultz particularly hilarious. I will say, though, that I struggled to constantly remind myself that Shultz was supposed to be the narrator—because I kept imaging Malcolm narrating and waiting for him to call me a “pathetic non-dragon.”

Buried amid the ongoing satire is quite a bit more depth and food-for-thought about writing than I’d originally anticipated. Personally, as someone who is currently stuck in the editing and perfecting stage, Chapter 6 particularly stood out to me. But this book can appeal to any writer at any point in their writing journey. One can find solid advice for writers struggling to finish and publish their work—as well as some genuinely inspiring encouragement in the final chapter where Shultz “gets serious” and shares his own story.

Highly recommended to aspiring non-writers of all kinds!

[Rebekah Morris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t normally read this kind of book, but I’d seen several positive reviews and decided to give it a try.
Written in reverse-psychology style, this book had me going from chuckling to rolling my eyes. There were some great tips about what NOT to do if you are trying to write, and some recommended resources, uh, I mean ones to avoid (if you are trying NOT to write). While it was a rather fun one time read, I probably wouldn’t want to read it again. Chapter 9 did get real and the author pointed out how absurd the rest of the book is because he wants you to write.

It was clean, and if you are needing some motivation but are feeling in a contrary mood, this might be just what you need.

[Angie Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read! I really loved the hilarious reverse-psychology take on how not to be creative--or at least how not to let your creativity amount to anything worthwhile if you find you can't help it. :) Unlike some writing books I've read, I never felt like I was being talked down to or lectured, although I did have at least one "ouch" moment when a point hit particularly close to home. I also very much appreciated the list of helpful resources (to avoid at all costs, of course!) provided at the end. I will certainly be--I mean not be--checking some of these out. ;)

I would recommend this book to any writer, particularly those who are slightly (or seriously) burned-out on how-to books and need a lighthearted jolt to bring back the fun of creativity and whittle those productivity-killing monsters (including the ones in your own head) back down to size. :D

Content--mentions of magic/fantasy elements in examples from the author's own works

[Julia Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

If a book had jaws and claws it would be this one. If upon opening a book, giggles would erupt from the pages, it would be this one. This book sucked me in from the very first sentence and before I knew it I was reading it out loud to my little brothers. We laughed hard at Shultz's advice and there was many a day that I left my lair (a.k.a my room) to go an share with them what I had recently read. "You guys. You have to hear what Kyle said! It's hilarious!"
Kyle, if your goal was to make the reader broadcast your hilarious advice to families, congratulations. Your ploy worked.
I am the happy victim of books and words.

[Beth Wangler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not typically a reader of non-fiction. This is probably the second non-fiction book I've finished outside of school—

And there's a definite reason for that. This book is fantastic.

In the several months I took reading "Not Write Now," I have been so thankful for the encouragement and wisdom it offers. Using reverse psychology, Shultz kindly and systematically breaks down all the lies we authors tell ourselves and provides tools to overcome those lies.

If you need any encouragement at all, go read "Not Write Now." It will make you laugh, show you things you didn't even realize were falsehoods, and empower you to write the story in your soul.

[J.E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect for writers at any stage

This book is a wonderful little punch of wisdom and encouragement, wrapped up in Shultz's characteristic wit. Despite all the fun chapters in the beginning, my favorite part by far was the final chapter where Shultz shared his writing journey and his success. I highly recommend it for writers in any stage if their career.

[Bethany Kellam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book failed to help me. I'm now more motivated to finish my WIP. Thanks.

Seriously though, this is the writing book I needed. It utilized humor, satire and reverse psychology to encourage writers to become published authors.

If you're a writer who needs the motivation and encouragement to press on and keep moving forward, this is the book for you. You'll probably die laughing (especially in the second chapter) but you might even finish a book.

Edit (3/17/25): did my yearly inspirational reread of this book and was disappointed to discover it was out of print. If any local friends want to read this book, I’m happy to share.

[Carina Shephard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both hilarious and helpful. I'm pretty much a fledgling writer, and this really gave me motivation.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a solid book of reverse psychology writing advice disguised as a humorous lesson in how to avoid writing a book. Kyle Robert Shultz effectively applies his trademark style to nonfiction, making it an engaging read. It focuses a lot on recognizing and getting past the lies we tell ourselves and the mental roadblocks we put up to keep ourselves from writing. It won't help a ton if you're in my situation (e.g., your only problem is that you're procrastinating on the current scene), but it will give you plenty of tools to keep writing down the road.

[Kandi J Wyatt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great for not writing!

Ok, so it is a how to write a novel and publish it, but stated in a tongue in cheek way that keeps you turning pages and wanting to start writing again.

[Annalissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a humorous read that made me smile several times, and even laugh out loud. While I wouldn't say this was my favourite 'how-to-write' book to read, I would say that it did help boost my creativity and had several exercises that, when done in reverse of course, could very well help you write more and/or better!
I appreciated the list of recourses 'not' to use very much. It's always nice to know what resources exist and I was very pleased that he also included whether or not they had a fee!
Please note that magic is mentioned in this book, and a handful of 'mild' swear words are used.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reverse psychology is great. This book is recommended for all writers in need of rescue! I'm not a writer, but I read it because I've been wanting to try Kyle Robert Shultz's books, and because it was free, and because Alison Tebo wrote a short piece for the appendix (it's about the danger of taking showers). I love the writing style; can't wait to read Shultz's Beaumont and Beasely books.

[Selina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, entertaining read! Very much reminded me of The Monster at the End of the Book.

[Caroline Knightley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kyle Robert Shultz has left me laughing and inspired to write. I know the Title says Not Write Now, meaning DON'T EVER WRITE NOW OR EVER! But with his sense of humor, Kyle Robert Shultz has brought all the ways we can excel at writing by telling us don't use them!

As a child, I wasn't ever fooled with reverse psychology, but I loved the humor used here with reverse psychology. Will it work this time? Only time will tell.

[Miriam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is basically a cross between The Monster at the End of this Book and The Screwtape Letters, only for writers. Very funny and full of a lot of good-humored and inspiring advice.

[Gevera Piedmont · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was funny and clever but it didn't resonate with me. I don't think I'm the target audience.

[Ursi Engebretsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A hilarious work of reverse psychology with a lot of good writing tips disguised as things you should never, ever do!