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The Hedonist #4
The Survivor and his Safe Place
A big, tough biker, Axel Bryant has used his muscle to frighten more than a few people over the years. Which makes it ironic how he's spent the last three years patiently trying to persuade Caleb Sullivan, the man he's loved practically at first sight, to stop being afraid of him. A past trauma for which Axel's looks are a trigger has kept Caleb fearful, but just when Axel is thinking he should give up on the younger man, things take a sudden turn. When Caleb makes it clear he's interested in Axel, the biker is over the moon. But with his violent past, is he worthy of someone like Caleb?
Caleb has spent the past four years suffering flashbacks of the night his entire family was killed while he hid upstairs in a closet. He's finally found a good therapist, and, more than anything, he wants to be normal again. Axel's big, muscular build both attracts Caleb and terrifies him. He can only hope he's doing the right thing by reaching out to the man and not setting himself back in the recovery he's only recently made strides in.
Caleb has spent the past four years suffering flashbacks of the night his entire family was killed while he hid upstairs in a closet. He's finally found a good therapist, and, more than anything, he wants to be normal again. Axel's big, muscular build both attracts Caleb and terrifies him. He can only hope he's doing the right thing by reaching out to the man and not setting himself back in the recovery he's only recently made strides in.
252 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 30, 2019
91 people are currently reading
160 people want to read
About the author
Rebecca James
45 books289 followersI write M/M romance with passion. Contemporary, omegaverse, paranormal, sci-fantasy, and a sweeter Boys' Love series. My Boys' Love series is only available on my website:
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
June 15, 2019
I started this series from the beginning because Truus told me it’s not a good idea to read this as a stand-alone. And I’m glad I did, because the other books are definitely worth reading.
But I do have to admit that I expected more from this book. I actually think this one was my least favorite, while I was sure it would be my favorite.
Caleb’s parents and brother were killed in a home invasion when Caleb was 17. Caleb got away by hiding in the closet. He’s been a nervous wreck these last 4 years, and big men scare him to death.
He’s doing better since he’s living at Isaac’s shelter, but he’s still a bit of a basket case. But he doesn’t want to be. He wants to start living again. And he doesn’t want to let fear rule his life. Especially when he finally admits to himself he is interested in Axel, the big man from the Hedonists motorcycle club.
Axel knows his size is a trigger for Caleb, so he grew his hair out and is always trying to be as gentle and non-threatening as possible when he’s around Caleb.
And after 3 years, it seems to be paying off. Caleb is slowly making progress and seems to like Axel back.
But people around him are worried about Caleb not being ready for a relationship and one them getting hurt…
I’m not sure what I was expecting from this, but somehow it didn’t quite deliver. I wasn’t a big fan of the way things went way too perfect at first only to have some major drama at 90%. It was resolved quickly, but it was hinted from the start that Caleb would have some kind of setback, so that made for some anxious reading.
And something happened at the beginning that bothered me the rest of the book. Axel was totally hungup on Caleb for the last 3 years. He had no interest in anyone else, and suddenly because Hung tells him he is kidding himself with Caleb, he is goaded into this hookup. It served absolutely no purpose and I was pretty angry that Axel had sex with someone else while he was so interested in Caleb (even though they didn't start anything yet). It was completely unnecessary.
I was also a little bit bored with these guys when they did get together. Caleb was nice and Axel was nice, but together they were just too nice sometimes.
And I was annoyed that so many people were trying to warn Axel about getting hurt if he persued Caleb. They should just have stayed out of it to begin with.
I’m definitely on board with Hung and Nick, and with Tony and Cane. So bring on the next books!
But I do have to admit that I expected more from this book. I actually think this one was my least favorite, while I was sure it would be my favorite.
Caleb’s parents and brother were killed in a home invasion when Caleb was 17. Caleb got away by hiding in the closet. He’s been a nervous wreck these last 4 years, and big men scare him to death.
He’s doing better since he’s living at Isaac’s shelter, but he’s still a bit of a basket case. But he doesn’t want to be. He wants to start living again. And he doesn’t want to let fear rule his life. Especially when he finally admits to himself he is interested in Axel, the big man from the Hedonists motorcycle club.
Axel knows his size is a trigger for Caleb, so he grew his hair out and is always trying to be as gentle and non-threatening as possible when he’s around Caleb.
And after 3 years, it seems to be paying off. Caleb is slowly making progress and seems to like Axel back.
But people around him are worried about Caleb not being ready for a relationship and one them getting hurt…
I’m not sure what I was expecting from this, but somehow it didn’t quite deliver. I wasn’t a big fan of the way things went way too perfect at first only to have some major drama at 90%. It was resolved quickly, but it was hinted from the start that Caleb would have some kind of setback, so that made for some anxious reading.
And something happened at the beginning that bothered me the rest of the book. Axel was totally hungup on Caleb for the last 3 years. He had no interest in anyone else, and suddenly because Hung tells him he is kidding himself with Caleb, he is goaded into this hookup. It served absolutely no purpose and I was pretty angry that Axel had sex with someone else while he was so interested in Caleb (even though they didn't start anything yet). It was completely unnecessary.
I was also a little bit bored with these guys when they did get together. Caleb was nice and Axel was nice, but together they were just too nice sometimes.
And I was annoyed that so many people were trying to warn Axel about getting hurt if he persued Caleb. They should just have stayed out of it to begin with.
I’m definitely on board with Hung and Nick, and with Tony and Cane. So bring on the next books!
May 8, 2019
Axel, member of the Hedonist biker-family, is a huge and rough looking guy and oh so considerate with his attitude toward the timid, frightened, traumatized Caleb. Caleb lives at the pet shelter with Dante and Isaac close by. For three years Axel is treating Caleb in the most careful way, there is just a tiny process and Axel is giving up. He has no hope Caleb will ever open up to him.
Until Caleb ask him in for a drink.
There is a lot of story and oh so worth reading. The hurt/comfort was so well put down.
Caleb’s progress and regress was heartwarming and heartbreaking. Bit by bit his past reveals before our eyes and my goodness my heart hurt so hard. Axel was grandiose in this story as safe place and lover. The hot steamy scenes were delicious. The side stories with the other members all the best awesomeness, I loved all the members! I’m so looking forward to the next installment.
Until Caleb ask him in for a drink.
There is a lot of story and oh so worth reading. The hurt/comfort was so well put down.
Caleb’s progress and regress was heartwarming and heartbreaking. Bit by bit his past reveals before our eyes and my goodness my heart hurt so hard. Axel was grandiose in this story as safe place and lover. The hot steamy scenes were delicious. The side stories with the other members all the best awesomeness, I loved all the members! I’m so looking forward to the next installment.
May 1, 2020
The bold biker likes the timid younger man !
We’ve met these two men, and the other characters in the previous books from this sexy, exciting series.
Here we have Caleb, 21,
who works and lives at the animal shelter, where he has peace and safety. Years ago, Caleb had witnessed the home invasion and brutal murder of his parents and brother.
The Hedonists MC has some big guys, but Axel
had a bald head with tattoos, like the murderer, so, Caleb had been frightened of him. Their problem is that each man is attracted to the other.
* Axel now has grown his hair to cover the tattoos,
and little by little, Caleb is progressing with his therapist, gaining strength and shedding his fears. Flashbacks and nightmares are still haunting him, and anxiety attacks occur also.
Sweet, big biker, Axel doesn’t know the attack details, but has waited for Caleb for years.
We see their hot sexy times together, firsts for inexperienced Caleb, plus other events that keep us full of anticipation. Club dynamics and interactions come into play.
Caleb has a few anxiety attacks, and then a big one, which shakes their relationship.
This series is full of heart and heat.
Enjoy !
=====
We’ve met these two men, and the other characters in the previous books from this sexy, exciting series.
Here we have Caleb, 21,
who works and lives at the animal shelter, where he has peace and safety. Years ago, Caleb had witnessed the home invasion and brutal murder of his parents and brother.
The Hedonists MC has some big guys, but Axel
had a bald head with tattoos, like the murderer, so, Caleb had been frightened of him. Their problem is that each man is attracted to the other.
* Axel now has grown his hair to cover the tattoos,
and little by little, Caleb is progressing with his therapist, gaining strength and shedding his fears. Flashbacks and nightmares are still haunting him, and anxiety attacks occur also.
Sweet, big biker, Axel doesn’t know the attack details, but has waited for Caleb for years.
We see their hot sexy times together, firsts for inexperienced Caleb, plus other events that keep us full of anticipation. Club dynamics and interactions come into play.
Caleb has a few anxiety attacks, and then a big one, which shakes their relationship.
This series is full of heart and heat.
Enjoy !
=====
April 27, 2020
I was late to catch up on the series but I always wanted to read about Axel and Caleb pairing. I still remember when Caleb met Axel, the Hedonist biker for the first time, he fainted because Axel looked so much like the man who murdered his family. What an awful start for a relationship.
To say their relationship is a slow burn was an understatement, Axel had been patiently waiting by the side for 3 years. So much had changed over the years, Axel tried to change his physical appearance to look less scary and Caleb had been seeing a new therapist that helped with his recovery.
I'm surprised that Caleb was the one who make the first tentative move on Axel. Maybe is apt considering Axel will be waiting forever without doing anything. Once Caleb got his confidence, he is such a sexy little minx. Axel just adores him and being all protective and caring. They still have challenges to overcome as Caleb might not be able to fully recover from his ordeal, but we know with Axel and the Hedonist family by his side, things are going to be okay. A very good hurt/comfort romance.
To say their relationship is a slow burn was an understatement, Axel had been patiently waiting by the side for 3 years. So much had changed over the years, Axel tried to change his physical appearance to look less scary and Caleb had been seeing a new therapist that helped with his recovery.
I'm surprised that Caleb was the one who make the first tentative move on Axel. Maybe is apt considering Axel will be waiting forever without doing anything. Once Caleb got his confidence, he is such a sexy little minx. Axel just adores him and being all protective and caring. They still have challenges to overcome as Caleb might not be able to fully recover from his ordeal, but we know with Axel and the Hedonist family by his side, things are going to be okay. A very good hurt/comfort romance.
May 3, 2019
This was a wonderful slow burn hurt/comfort romance. It was mildly angsty, funny and at times very sweet. I liked revisiting the Hedonists. There is always some drama at the motorcycle club, new members join and old ones find happiness - it was all very entertaining. It can be read as a standalone.
Caleb has been afraid for too long. He lost four years of his life due to a brutal home invasion that took away his family, his self-confidence and his peace of mind. He is on track to feeling a bit better but it's not enough, especially since he met Axel who is intimidating and intriguing at the same time, and he finally is ready to start living and maybe finding love. He slowly emerges, pushes his own limits and finds that there is more to Axel than his tattoos and rough exterior.
Axel always prided himself on his muscles and menacing looks. He thought that that was the only thing he was good for. But when he meets the sweetest young man who is so scared of him that he faints, he reevaluates everything he thought of himself and tries to become less intimidating. It's slow going but he seems to steadily gain Caleb's trust. But the time flies, and when not much really changes and he is about to give up, Caleb takes tentative steps toward him. Thus starts slow and romantic courtship.
I loved how patient and thoughtful Axel was, how he understood when Caleb was overwhelmed. And Caleb finally saw Axel as his safe haven. It was romantic and sweet at first, and when Caleb was finally ready to take the next step, it became insanely hot and steamy. Both men struggled with insecurities and demons of the past, but their mutual friends were there to make them see that they deserved happiness and were exactly what each other needed. I enjoyed this book a lot and I highly recommend it! Copy received for my honest and unbiased review
Caleb has been afraid for too long. He lost four years of his life due to a brutal home invasion that took away his family, his self-confidence and his peace of mind. He is on track to feeling a bit better but it's not enough, especially since he met Axel who is intimidating and intriguing at the same time, and he finally is ready to start living and maybe finding love. He slowly emerges, pushes his own limits and finds that there is more to Axel than his tattoos and rough exterior.
Axel always prided himself on his muscles and menacing looks. He thought that that was the only thing he was good for. But when he meets the sweetest young man who is so scared of him that he faints, he reevaluates everything he thought of himself and tries to become less intimidating. It's slow going but he seems to steadily gain Caleb's trust. But the time flies, and when not much really changes and he is about to give up, Caleb takes tentative steps toward him. Thus starts slow and romantic courtship.
I loved how patient and thoughtful Axel was, how he understood when Caleb was overwhelmed. And Caleb finally saw Axel as his safe haven. It was romantic and sweet at first, and when Caleb was finally ready to take the next step, it became insanely hot and steamy. Both men struggled with insecurities and demons of the past, but their mutual friends were there to make them see that they deserved happiness and were exactly what each other needed. I enjoyed this book a lot and I highly recommend it! Copy received for my honest and unbiased review
December 19, 2020
Three years after Isaac takes over the shelter in book 2, Axel is still pining over Caleb, who suffers with PTSD. A new therapist has helped Caleb to get past his reactions to Axel’s size and discovering the cause of Caleb’s troubles is as traumatic as one might expect. Axel bends over backwards to make Caleb feel safe and they begin developing a relationship. That’s the best part of this story but other situations left me with lukewarm reactions. I hate that a 3 star review is considered negative, since it still means I liked the story overall, it was just that parts didn’t suit me.
I disliked Hung’s character goading Axel into a hookup (before getting with Caleb) as a device to bring in a secondary player. I was distracted by too much added drama interrupting the narrative and focus on the couple. Any series author does introduce people and situations to set up coming books but I didn’t enjoy the presentation here. I did become invested in the hurt/comfort aspect and the progression of Caleb and Axel as boyfriends. The therapy depictions seemed realistic. Read it for Caleb and Axel.
*An ARC was provided by the author, publisher or a promotional service and I have chosen to publish a fair and honest review*
I disliked Hung’s character goading Axel into a hookup (before getting with Caleb) as a device to bring in a secondary player. I was distracted by too much added drama interrupting the narrative and focus on the couple. Any series author does introduce people and situations to set up coming books but I didn’t enjoy the presentation here. I did become invested in the hurt/comfort aspect and the progression of Caleb and Axel as boyfriends. The therapy depictions seemed realistic. Read it for Caleb and Axel.
*An ARC was provided by the author, publisher or a promotional service and I have chosen to publish a fair and honest review*
April 10, 2024
3.5 Soapy and soppy! I had to work that alliteration in, lol. I have enjoyed this author’s writing and thought I would try their MC series. One of the least gritty clubs that I have read about. Swearing was at a minimum, dirty deeds, too. When Axel did not do as the prez asked, to enforce a revenge beat down on a rival club member, I was expecting Axel to get called out for it, but nothing happened. Different.
The theme of the book is healing through gentleness and that was delivered. It was tough reading Caleb’s traumatic memories in therapy, and more than once. Axel measures each gesture, each word, to not startle Caleb into panic. This muscular, shaved head giant even grows his hair out to look more different than Caleb’s assailant.
The narrative did come off like a soap opera with the drama situations that were telegraphed ahead through the writing. I almost stopped reading because it was tiring with one breakdown scene after another. I knew going in what the story was and I wanted to see how Caleb heals. One way is that he turns come on sexy, almost suddenly, and uses magic dick to heal. No complaints here about twink/massive guy loving. It just didn’t fit Caleb’s super reticent manner.
This was major hurt comfort writing. I read more than one review saying this was a least favorite. I liked it, but it didn’t grab my heart or libido for more stars or enjoyment of the book.
I will say that every scene with the character of Hung gave me a bell ring. He was a shameless and sexy hound dog.
A brother and a sister sharing a bed with him and Axel never having access to the shared bedroom, as Hung was busy in bed nightly after shooting MF porn during the day in the club’s at home porn studio. Hung’s story is next on my list for this series. 😉
I don’t think I will be reading anymore of these after that.
A sweet, and often sad, MM story where an MC rides a bike and the friends group is very nice.
The theme of the book is healing through gentleness and that was delivered. It was tough reading Caleb’s traumatic memories in therapy, and more than once. Axel measures each gesture, each word, to not startle Caleb into panic. This muscular, shaved head giant even grows his hair out to look more different than Caleb’s assailant.
The narrative did come off like a soap opera with the drama situations that were telegraphed ahead through the writing. I almost stopped reading because it was tiring with one breakdown scene after another. I knew going in what the story was and I wanted to see how Caleb heals. One way is that he turns come on sexy, almost suddenly, and uses magic dick to heal. No complaints here about twink/massive guy loving. It just didn’t fit Caleb’s super reticent manner.
This was major hurt comfort writing. I read more than one review saying this was a least favorite. I liked it, but it didn’t grab my heart or libido for more stars or enjoyment of the book.
I will say that every scene with the character of Hung gave me a bell ring. He was a shameless and sexy hound dog.
A brother and a sister sharing a bed with him and Axel never having access to the shared bedroom, as Hung was busy in bed nightly after shooting MF porn during the day in the club’s at home porn studio. Hung’s story is next on my list for this series. 😉
I don’t think I will be reading anymore of these after that.
A sweet, and often sad, MM story where an MC rides a bike and the friends group is very nice.
March 4, 2020
I really wish there were 1/2 star ratings but this is a solid 3.5 for me. I mean there were unanswered questions for me that could have added to the story in my opinion. Like, why did that guy kill Caleb's family? Even if it were a random home invasion and the guy was just looking for valuables and was just a cold-hearted killer, I would like to know that tidbit.
Caleb was understandably a mess and even though he made a ton of progress, I can imagine it would take a very long time to be functional after what happened to him. He was a sweet guy and I was glad he had Axel but he kept saying that Axel was his safe place and I wouldn't think that's a totally healthy way to cope because Axel can't be with him 24/7.
Axel was obviously a good guy but he had a mean streak that he realized he wanted to overcome. Of course, he was never mean to Caleb but he was certainly insecure around him. I guess I would be too if someone started screaming because of a misunderstanding.
I still am enjoying this series kind of like I enjoy Doritos, a guilty pleasure.
Caleb was understandably a mess and even though he made a ton of progress, I can imagine it would take a very long time to be functional after what happened to him. He was a sweet guy and I was glad he had Axel but he kept saying that Axel was his safe place and I wouldn't think that's a totally healthy way to cope because Axel can't be with him 24/7.
Axel was obviously a good guy but he had a mean streak that he realized he wanted to overcome. Of course, he was never mean to Caleb but he was certainly insecure around him. I guess I would be too if someone started screaming because of a misunderstanding.
I still am enjoying this series kind of like I enjoy Doritos, a guilty pleasure.
September 4, 2025
2021 = 2 stars / DNF at 58%
2024 = 2.5 stars / review written
I rated this one a little higher than book one, my least favorite). Having reread books 1 - 4 in close succession, I can clearly see a pattern.
Beta men in a motorcycle club, fall in insta-love with younger, effeminate men. Everyone has sad or tragic backstories. Through the magical power of love and the bond of brotherhood, all is well in the end.
🚫 Don't expect realism.
The graphic sex scenes may be hot for some, but after reading MM for years, they now seem basic & bland. I skimmed them.
Always Drama Lama: relationship drama, family drama, and drama with other people. There's little to no action.
The MC is for men in need. They pay their dues, live at the clubhouse, have various jobs, and move out when they find their special guy. The brief bouts of violence are mainly off-page.
٭ Zeke & Morgan are married.
٭ Dante & Isaac are engaged.
The MCs' Sob Stories in This Book:
The MC man was raised by cold & cruel grandparents.
The fem man's family were killed during a home invasion. He's the lone survivor.
🔺🆂🆄🅼🅼🅰🆁🆈 & 🆂🅿🅾🅸🅻🅴🆁🆂🔺
Axel (early 30's) & Caleb (21) knew each other from previous books, but had no kind of relationship.
Caleb is still traumatized four years after the home invasion, experiencing nightmares and panic attacks. He continues therapy with Dana, setting weekly goals such as talking to people. He begins at the weekly dinners at Isaac and Dante’s nearby home. Caleb lives in the shelter house on their property, caring for the animals, and is only friends with Isaac.
✲ My favorite part was watching Caleb work to rebuild his life. Despite setbacks and difficult therapy sessions, he made progress. Some parts were hard to read. 😢
For 3 years, Axel has waited patiently for Caleb. Until Hung pushes him to go on a date. Axel gets drunk and remembers the next day, "pounding Mick's ass" over his bike. Axel later tells Caleb, who thinks it's hot.
Axel is a former club enforcer with a prison record, who now only acts as muscle when needed. He's really a big teddy bear who loves to cuddle, and wears silly socks under his biker boots.
Axel looks like the man who killed Caleb's family.
Out of all the bikers, Axel scares Caleb the most. Standing six and a half feet tall with tattoos all over, the burly biker is intimidating. He even once caused Caleb to faint. To show he's not a monster, he visits the shelter to help with the dogs and grows out his hair. As Caleb begins to trust him, they draw closer—though Axel feels he's not good enough for Caleb.
Dante and Isaac worrying about Axel hurting Caleb, causes drama that makes Axel run away. Caleb befriends Lake, Morgan and Isaac. They all enjoy their ladies' night out, gossiping and having fun. They reassure Caleb that Axel is great and likes him, encouraging him to reach out, which he soon does.
It's completely unbelievable, how fast Caleb goes from being scared to wanting sex. He boldly asks to be kissed which leads to more, surprising Axel. His eagerness for sex is a big change from the hesitant kid he once was, leaving Axel confused and questioning Caleb's quick turnaround. (I was confused too!)
☹️ Caleb's sexual aggressiveness felt out of character, which I didn't like. The author was obviously eager to jump into the sex scenes.
Caleb asks Axel to be his boyfriend, and then to spend the night. Despite Caleb's therapist's advice to take it slow, he races to lose his virginity.
🎭 THE DRAMA 🎭
🎬 Axel inherits his grandparents' farm, and he and Caleb spend weekends there to create happy memories. Axel making sugar cookies triggers Caleb—reminding him of his family's death. During his next therapy session, Caleb becomes angry and walks out, saying he's done.
(You know something bad is going to happen.)
🎬 Blaze asks Axel to intimidate a troublemaker from the Sinners MC. Axel refuses because he's Caleb's safe place and he doesn't want to disappoint him.
🎬 Caleb and Axel host the New Year's Eve party, but run out of alcohol. Axel goes out to get more, wearing a ski mask to keep warm. When he returns with it still on, Caleb is triggered b/c it reminds him of the killer. Axel leaves, knowing Caleb doesn't feel safe with him.
🎬 The new neighbors break into the shelter to steal the vet’s drugs. Caleb calls Isaac, who calls the police. Even though there's no reason to, the men go upstairs while Caleb hides. Caleb refuses to leave the closet after the men are caught, only wanting Axel. He arrives and Caleb clings to him for comfort.
A month later, the New Year's Eve party is held again. Caleb is back in therapy, and Axel plans to see her as well. He’s determined not to be the angry grandfather who raised him, and is ready to find his beta self.
💝 All ends well with Axel and Caleb being a family, along with the Hedonists.
133 F's
2024 = 2.5 stars / review written
I rated this one a little higher than book one, my least favorite). Having reread books 1 - 4 in close succession, I can clearly see a pattern.
Beta men in a motorcycle club, fall in insta-love with younger, effeminate men. Everyone has sad or tragic backstories. Through the magical power of love and the bond of brotherhood, all is well in the end.
🚫 Don't expect realism.
The graphic sex scenes may be hot for some, but after reading MM for years, they now seem basic & bland. I skimmed them.
Always Drama Lama: relationship drama, family drama, and drama with other people. There's little to no action.
The MC is for men in need. They pay their dues, live at the clubhouse, have various jobs, and move out when they find their special guy. The brief bouts of violence are mainly off-page.
٭ Zeke & Morgan are married.
٭ Dante & Isaac are engaged.
The MCs' Sob Stories in This Book:
The MC man was raised by cold & cruel grandparents.
The fem man's family were killed during a home invasion. He's the lone survivor.
🔺🆂🆄🅼🅼🅰🆁🆈 & 🆂🅿🅾🅸🅻🅴🆁🆂🔺
Axel (early 30's) & Caleb (21) knew each other from previous books, but had no kind of relationship.
Caleb is still traumatized four years after the home invasion, experiencing nightmares and panic attacks. He continues therapy with Dana, setting weekly goals such as talking to people. He begins at the weekly dinners at Isaac and Dante’s nearby home. Caleb lives in the shelter house on their property, caring for the animals, and is only friends with Isaac.
✲ My favorite part was watching Caleb work to rebuild his life. Despite setbacks and difficult therapy sessions, he made progress. Some parts were hard to read. 😢
For 3 years, Axel has waited patiently for Caleb. Until Hung pushes him to go on a date. Axel gets drunk and remembers the next day, "pounding Mick's ass" over his bike. Axel later tells Caleb, who thinks it's hot.
Axel is a former club enforcer with a prison record, who now only acts as muscle when needed. He's really a big teddy bear who loves to cuddle, and wears silly socks under his biker boots.
Axel looks like the man who killed Caleb's family.
Out of all the bikers, Axel scares Caleb the most. Standing six and a half feet tall with tattoos all over, the burly biker is intimidating. He even once caused Caleb to faint. To show he's not a monster, he visits the shelter to help with the dogs and grows out his hair. As Caleb begins to trust him, they draw closer—though Axel feels he's not good enough for Caleb.
Dante and Isaac worrying about Axel hurting Caleb, causes drama that makes Axel run away. Caleb befriends Lake, Morgan and Isaac. They all enjoy their ladies' night out, gossiping and having fun. They reassure Caleb that Axel is great and likes him, encouraging him to reach out, which he soon does.
It's completely unbelievable, how fast Caleb goes from being scared to wanting sex. He boldly asks to be kissed which leads to more, surprising Axel. His eagerness for sex is a big change from the hesitant kid he once was, leaving Axel confused and questioning Caleb's quick turnaround. (I was confused too!)
☹️ Caleb's sexual aggressiveness felt out of character, which I didn't like. The author was obviously eager to jump into the sex scenes.
Caleb asks Axel to be his boyfriend, and then to spend the night. Despite Caleb's therapist's advice to take it slow, he races to lose his virginity.
🎭 THE DRAMA 🎭
🎬 Axel inherits his grandparents' farm, and he and Caleb spend weekends there to create happy memories. Axel making sugar cookies triggers Caleb—reminding him of his family's death. During his next therapy session, Caleb becomes angry and walks out, saying he's done.
(You know something bad is going to happen.)
🎬 Blaze asks Axel to intimidate a troublemaker from the Sinners MC. Axel refuses because he's Caleb's safe place and he doesn't want to disappoint him.
🎬 Caleb and Axel host the New Year's Eve party, but run out of alcohol. Axel goes out to get more, wearing a ski mask to keep warm. When he returns with it still on, Caleb is triggered b/c it reminds him of the killer. Axel leaves, knowing Caleb doesn't feel safe with him.
🎬 The new neighbors break into the shelter to steal the vet’s drugs. Caleb calls Isaac, who calls the police. Even though there's no reason to, the men go upstairs while Caleb hides. Caleb refuses to leave the closet after the men are caught, only wanting Axel. He arrives and Caleb clings to him for comfort.
A month later, the New Year's Eve party is held again. Caleb is back in therapy, and Axel plans to see her as well. He’s determined not to be the angry grandfather who raised him, and is ready to find his beta self.
💝 All ends well with Axel and Caleb being a family, along with the Hedonists.
133 F's
May 25, 2019
best one! axel and caleb’s story is much deeper than the others.
May 10, 2019
I've been looking forward to reading Caleb and Axel's story since the start of this series.
I was immediately drawn into the book. Caleb's history has made him skittish and wary and Axel does his best not to frighten Caleb.
I liked how their relationship evolved. Both brave for their own different reasons for putting themselves out there.
A heartwarming story of hope, growth, love, overcoming fear and your past.
Great to catch up with the rest of the guys. I look forward to so many more books in this series. I hope all the guys get a story and a hea.
I was immediately drawn into the book. Caleb's history has made him skittish and wary and Axel does his best not to frighten Caleb.
I liked how their relationship evolved. Both brave for their own different reasons for putting themselves out there.
A heartwarming story of hope, growth, love, overcoming fear and your past.
Great to catch up with the rest of the guys. I look forward to so many more books in this series. I hope all the guys get a story and a hea.
May 3, 2019
ooooooooooooooomg.. this series is everything.. amazing and perfect.. and this story is just as amazing as the others were! the characters were sweet and sassy and sexy.. amazing story!
July 1, 2019
3.5 stars
May 6, 2019
Caleb has been through the most horrifying ordeal and lived. Only he is still in a hell of his own. He is trying to heal from his ordeal while staying with the men of a motorcycle club and helping out at the animal shelter. While he is still nervous around such brash and big men, he knows they are a safe place. Yet one man pulls him both ways. Axel terrifies him and yet he is attracted to him. Caleb and Axel begin a tentative friendship that could leaf to more but is Caleb ready and is Axel willing to deal with all of Caleb’s problems?
I enjoyed Axel and Caleb’s story. Axel is a big and gruff man that scares just about everyone that he meets but he feels something for Caleb and does all that he can to make Caleb feel safe even from him. As the two begin their friendship Axel proves what a good man he is and what a big heart he has. Caleb grows stronger each day and begins to want so much more from Axel. It was nice to see their bond grow and deepen the more time that the two spent together. Both men must deal with their own demons and when trouble comes to Caleb’s life again, we get to see just how strong Axel and Caleb’s bond is.
Their story moves along at a good pace and the author does a good job of bringing these characters and their world to life and leaving the reader eager to see more from this world.
May 7, 2019
I have loved this series from book one and it continues strong with book four. I've been waiting for this story for ages, needing to get Caleb and Axel's story and it doesn't disappoint.
Caleb's history of a violent attack in his home means he lives with anxiety and fear on a constant basis. Axel's unfortunate similarities to the attacker mean he has learned to be extra cautious around Caleb as he doesn't want the young man to fear him.
Since the last book the two men have circled each other with Axel taking any scraps that Caleb can give him and Caleb taking steps towards reclaiming his life. Reading Caleb's story is both heartbreaking but also inspiring as we follow him take control, or at least want to, when he can. Axel clearly adores the man and the moments that they share together are adorable. It's great to read the friendships that stay strong within the group and those that will stand and defend those that need it.
Rebecca draws you into the story of the characters and holds your attention from start to finish. I needed to know how things turned out, just waiting for the other shoe to drop but enjoying the ride all the same.
Definitely reommend this book and the series. There are fabulous characters throughout with involving stories that keep you interested throughout.
I received an ARC and am happily giving a review.
Caleb's history of a violent attack in his home means he lives with anxiety and fear on a constant basis. Axel's unfortunate similarities to the attacker mean he has learned to be extra cautious around Caleb as he doesn't want the young man to fear him.
Since the last book the two men have circled each other with Axel taking any scraps that Caleb can give him and Caleb taking steps towards reclaiming his life. Reading Caleb's story is both heartbreaking but also inspiring as we follow him take control, or at least want to, when he can. Axel clearly adores the man and the moments that they share together are adorable. It's great to read the friendships that stay strong within the group and those that will stand and defend those that need it.
Rebecca draws you into the story of the characters and holds your attention from start to finish. I needed to know how things turned out, just waiting for the other shoe to drop but enjoying the ride all the same.
Definitely reommend this book and the series. There are fabulous characters throughout with involving stories that keep you interested throughout.
I received an ARC and am happily giving a review.
May 10, 2019
This is absolutely one of my favorite series at the moment. The characters are richly developed, with such strength and subtleties of character you're left completely endeared. I love that the Hedonists themselves are a bit of a grey area, good guys with big hearts and a no-nonsense exterior (total weakness of mine, I can't help it).
I had been waiting for Ax and Caleb's story from the moment they were introduced as potential love interests. I think everyone reading the series had felt an emotional tug at their potential, with Caleb being so traumatized and Axel trying his hardest to give him the love he deserved. This, I'm sure, was a difficult story line to write. There were so many potential pitfalls where things could have gone wrong, particularly concerning the nature of Caleb's traumatic past, but the author rose to the occasion. I'm glad the author took her time to really set a good foundation, and truly develop the connection and relationship between both the main characters. There was no way this book could have been written as anything other than a slow burn.
I am so very excited for the rest of the characters and what's to come. I also love that we always get to see and catch up with past characters, and take a look at where their lives are headed. Fantastic read, highly recommend the whole series, and I can't wait till the next book!
I had been waiting for Ax and Caleb's story from the moment they were introduced as potential love interests. I think everyone reading the series had felt an emotional tug at their potential, with Caleb being so traumatized and Axel trying his hardest to give him the love he deserved. This, I'm sure, was a difficult story line to write. There were so many potential pitfalls where things could have gone wrong, particularly concerning the nature of Caleb's traumatic past, but the author rose to the occasion. I'm glad the author took her time to really set a good foundation, and truly develop the connection and relationship between both the main characters. There was no way this book could have been written as anything other than a slow burn.
I am so very excited for the rest of the characters and what's to come. I also love that we always get to see and catch up with past characters, and take a look at where their lives are headed. Fantastic read, highly recommend the whole series, and I can't wait till the next book!
January 6, 2020
Oh my god, I was so beyond excited for this book. After reading the earlier ones and getting the snippets of Axel and Caleb I was itching for their story. This is the dynamic I LIVE FOR. I could read 5,000 books about big bears and soft, sad twinks falling in love and never get sick of it.
Caleb is twink in question, a sweet but severely traumatised young man. Axel is our big biker bear who has been shadowing Caleb for roughly three years with a crush the size of the sun.
What I loved most about Axel was his limitless patience. At no point did the author write Axel as being bitter towards Caleb for not being comfortable around him despite the lengthy wait. There is a moment where Axel considers moving on but it’s never directed with any malice towards Caleb and I fucking loved that, I felt like it really showed the purity of Axel’s adoration and the legitimacy of his character. This right here is a good fucking man.
The plot follows Caleb doing his damned hardest to overcome his triggers and everything that has prevented him from living a normal life. The whole time I was reading I was like “on no baby, don’t” because I just felt so invested in wanting Caleb to have everything he deserved and that’s 100% down to the author’s fantastic writing.
Now, the sex scenes OH MY. This knocked me for six because I did not expect it but Caleb is a spitfire in bed. Both Axel and I were shocked and it comes down to Caleb feeling restless and wanting to catch up on everything he’s missed. Fortunately nothing sex related ends up triggering him so you’re all in the clear there. As much as I LOVED how those scenes were written and it was hot as FUCK, I was also very nervous waiting for something to go wrong !!
This was everything I wanted it to be a more, literally nothing could have made it more perfect in my eyes. Straight into my top favourites.
Caleb is twink in question, a sweet but severely traumatised young man. Axel is our big biker bear who has been shadowing Caleb for roughly three years with a crush the size of the sun.
What I loved most about Axel was his limitless patience. At no point did the author write Axel as being bitter towards Caleb for not being comfortable around him despite the lengthy wait. There is a moment where Axel considers moving on but it’s never directed with any malice towards Caleb and I fucking loved that, I felt like it really showed the purity of Axel’s adoration and the legitimacy of his character. This right here is a good fucking man.
The plot follows Caleb doing his damned hardest to overcome his triggers and everything that has prevented him from living a normal life. The whole time I was reading I was like “on no baby, don’t” because I just felt so invested in wanting Caleb to have everything he deserved and that’s 100% down to the author’s fantastic writing.
Now, the sex scenes OH MY. This knocked me for six because I did not expect it but Caleb is a spitfire in bed. Both Axel and I were shocked and it comes down to Caleb feeling restless and wanting to catch up on everything he’s missed. Fortunately nothing sex related ends up triggering him so you’re all in the clear there. As much as I LOVED how those scenes were written and it was hot as FUCK, I was also very nervous waiting for something to go wrong !!
This was everything I wanted it to be a more, literally nothing could have made it more perfect in my eyes. Straight into my top favourites.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 2, 2020
PLEASE READ MY RATING SYSTEM!!!
To my ratings:
A 3,5* is clicked with a 4* but in review marked as 3,5*:
5* - very very good and rare (it would be a Blow-Away-book like ‘Jesse's Smile’ or ‘Joey’ from Angelique Jurd, ‘Save the the kids’ series
from EM Leya, ‘Love’s Tethered Heart’ from C.L. Etta or ‘Liberty’ from Seth King),
it's like an A+
4* - very good and will be often reread and is a WOW-book with interesting plot and surprises (like most of Andrew Grey books and Davidson Kings 'Haven Hart'-series)
it's like an A
3,5* - a really good book, which will be reread a few times (most romances where you can enjoy for relaxing and during waiting times in
hospitals). I can recommend them definitively!
It's like an B+
3* - it could be more then a one-time-reader (2-3 times a year),
it's like a B
2* - it was ok to read, but it's more a one-time-reader (I wouldn't recommend it heartily, but it was ok)
It's like a C-, D
1* - sorry, but that isn't really a book for me (too many mistakes, not nice plot, illogical, so an absolute NO-GO). It's like failure in the
whole line, dismissed, repeat the class
To my ratings:
A 3,5* is clicked with a 4* but in review marked as 3,5*:
5* - very very good and rare (it would be a Blow-Away-book like ‘Jesse's Smile’ or ‘Joey’ from Angelique Jurd, ‘Save the the kids’ series
from EM Leya, ‘Love’s Tethered Heart’ from C.L. Etta or ‘Liberty’ from Seth King),
it's like an A+
4* - very good and will be often reread and is a WOW-book with interesting plot and surprises (like most of Andrew Grey books and Davidson Kings 'Haven Hart'-series)
it's like an A
3,5* - a really good book, which will be reread a few times (most romances where you can enjoy for relaxing and during waiting times in
hospitals). I can recommend them definitively!
It's like an B+
3* - it could be more then a one-time-reader (2-3 times a year),
it's like a B
2* - it was ok to read, but it's more a one-time-reader (I wouldn't recommend it heartily, but it was ok)
It's like a C-, D
1* - sorry, but that isn't really a book for me (too many mistakes, not nice plot, illogical, so an absolute NO-GO). It's like failure in the
whole line, dismissed, repeat the class
June 17, 2019
⇧
2 stars
⇩It wasn't bad, but I think this one wasn't for me. Everything started good until the part where his "friends" tell him he can't pause his life just for Caleb, seeing he might not ever be ready to return his feelings with his actual situation. So what better than a hookup, someone Hung knows. Even if we actually don't see them having sex, we're told they have. For me, that's a big ℕ𝕆. I don't know about others but I don't like this thing when I read. I read because of the protagonists not for third parties, even hookups. Alex waited three years and just like that just because of what others said he yields? т𝐬к т𝐬к т𝐬к...This is the third book that has let me down in the series. I loved the first one so I read the other books. But it seems I won't continue. I'm not so interested in the couples that apparently will be in the next books...𝓈𝒾𝑔𝒽.
May 9, 2019
Oh man, have I been waiting for this one!!!!! Ever since Caleb came onto the scene early in the series, and the reaction he has with Axel, I just knew that this would be my favorite story and it so was!!!
Caleb is in a LOT of pain, mentally. His family was taken from him, and he is not easy to trust anyone. Axel, and most of the bikers, trigger him due to the reminder's of the man who took his family. But, with help from his friends and his therapist, he is working towards being able to be more....out there. To make more friends, to do things that would normally scare him away.
And In Axel he see's his safe place. However, he puts a little TO much into that, and thinks that's all he needs to be ok.
But life has a way of slapping us all in the face and letting us know how wrong we are.
These two men have a rough go at it, their relationship isn't easy, but they are destined to be together! I loved it
Caleb is in a LOT of pain, mentally. His family was taken from him, and he is not easy to trust anyone. Axel, and most of the bikers, trigger him due to the reminder's of the man who took his family. But, with help from his friends and his therapist, he is working towards being able to be more....out there. To make more friends, to do things that would normally scare him away.
And In Axel he see's his safe place. However, he puts a little TO much into that, and thinks that's all he needs to be ok.
But life has a way of slapping us all in the face and letting us know how wrong we are.
These two men have a rough go at it, their relationship isn't easy, but they are destined to be together! I loved it
August 14, 2022
EU TO COM MT ODIO CARAS NA MORALLL
botei mt expectativa e cai do cavalo
esse eh o livro q eu estava mais ansiosa pra ler desde q o caleb interagiu com o ax dois livros atras e por deus. que bomba foi essa
primeiro q eu fiquei com a sensação de q o caleb estava USANDO o ax. e isso ficou mt sentido quando ele parou a terapia so pq tava bem com o ax tipo ele nao eh uma muleta? namorado nenhum cura trauma.. isso foi bizarro
e ele toda a hora desviando as coisas pra sexo tipo??? parece q ele so queria saber de transar com o ax o dia inteiro isso eh tao [redacted] serio mt preocupante essa narrativa odiei
e outra coisa q eu percevo eh q a autoria fica tipo dando sinais de que poderia ter um plot de encrenca e nunca da em nada tipo a fazenda
enfim odiei to revoltada so nao abandono pq agora to curiosa pro livro do brasileiro (vou deixar anotado desde ja q eh repulsivo como botaram o brasileiro pra ser uma sex machine) e pro livro do tony com o misterioso la
botei mt expectativa e cai do cavalo
esse eh o livro q eu estava mais ansiosa pra ler desde q o caleb interagiu com o ax dois livros atras e por deus. que bomba foi essa
primeiro q eu fiquei com a sensação de q o caleb estava USANDO o ax. e isso ficou mt sentido quando ele parou a terapia so pq tava bem com o ax tipo ele nao eh uma muleta? namorado nenhum cura trauma.. isso foi bizarro
e ele toda a hora desviando as coisas pra sexo tipo??? parece q ele so queria saber de transar com o ax o dia inteiro isso eh tao [redacted] serio mt preocupante essa narrativa odiei
e outra coisa q eu percevo eh q a autoria fica tipo dando sinais de que poderia ter um plot de encrenca e nunca da em nada tipo a fazenda
enfim odiei to revoltada so nao abandono pq agora to curiosa pro livro do brasileiro (vou deixar anotado desde ja q eh repulsivo como botaram o brasileiro pra ser uma sex machine) e pro livro do tony com o misterioso la
May 4, 2019
** Trigger Warning** flashbacks, PTSD, and descriptions of Trauma.
This book is long awaited with two characters that have popped up in other books of the series. Caleb is a favourite character, who after a few years is finding the courage to move forward with life, after a brutal attack in which his whole family were killed. Axel is one of those gentle giants, who have a rough exterior with a heart of gold, who you can’t help but love.
Please take note of the trigger warning as I found the counselling sessions and the recounting of what happens, hard to read. This book shows the strength that Caleb has to trust Axel. All the other couples and Hedonists make their appearances to help or hinder depending on the character.
This is a welcome addition to the series, I for one can’t wait to see what comes next, a series that is a must read from the beginning.
This book is long awaited with two characters that have popped up in other books of the series. Caleb is a favourite character, who after a few years is finding the courage to move forward with life, after a brutal attack in which his whole family were killed. Axel is one of those gentle giants, who have a rough exterior with a heart of gold, who you can’t help but love.
Please take note of the trigger warning as I found the counselling sessions and the recounting of what happens, hard to read. This book shows the strength that Caleb has to trust Axel. All the other couples and Hedonists make their appearances to help or hinder depending on the character.
This is a welcome addition to the series, I for one can’t wait to see what comes next, a series that is a must read from the beginning.
May 4, 2019
I absolutely love this series and I think this is my favorite story so far. I've watched both Axel and Caleb throughout the other books and I was so glad to get their story. Axel and Caleb are just so perfect together. It's incredible to see the big, bad biker being so sweet, caring, and protective with Caleb. I love seeing how far Caleb has come and Axel truly is his safe place. I can't wait for stories on the rest of the club, especially Hung's story! I voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book.
July 9, 2020
This story started off all well and good then it seemed Luke the author just decided to speed things along and wham! A relationship. If Caleb was so scared (as the beginning of the book demonstrated) how can he all of a sudden start making moves on Axel? I get being sexually frustrates and horny, but c’mon...no one just turns off the skittishness to turn on his libido. While I see this as a major plot flaw, I can say that I enjoyed getting to know these characters. Caleb was very much his age and his tendency to be whiny was annoying, but it was a decent read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 11, 2020
Wow
I randomly came upon this author with this book as even though you can read this book as a stand-alone I really suggest you read the other books before this one because I think axel and Caleb has met in the other books as maybe like background characters. As you also read this book past previous books relationships are given light in some sort of way that kind of spoils it for you if you haven’t read the other books.
Overall I loved this book and I really hope Caleb can overcome his fear.
I randomly came upon this author with this book as even though you can read this book as a stand-alone I really suggest you read the other books before this one because I think axel and Caleb has met in the other books as maybe like background characters. As you also read this book past previous books relationships are given light in some sort of way that kind of spoils it for you if you haven’t read the other books.
Overall I loved this book and I really hope Caleb can overcome his fear.
May 2, 2019
The Survivor and His Safe Place is the fourth book in The Hedonist series by Rebecca James. Axelrod and Caleb have such an amazing story. I love these two together- Axel is so big and strong and protective and kind.... and Caleb is a survivor for sure, trying to reclaim his life and move forward. The story is entertaining - sweet, sexy. Funny with just enough drama. Love it!
I received an advanced reader's copy of the book and I am voluntarily leaving my honest review and recommendation.
I received an advanced reader's copy of the book and I am voluntarily leaving my honest review and recommendation.
May 2, 2019
4 stars!
This is the 4th book in the Hedonist series about a a bunch of MC club members finding LOVE.
Here we have Axel and Caleb. Hard and soft. Damaged from past traumas-together they try to heal.
This series is crazy good. This one was really well written and I read it very quickly! I felt like the therapy was represented in an honest and true way which I appreciated.
Overall, this was a great addition to the series. Who doesn't love a marshmallow with a tough exterior falling in LOVE!
This is the 4th book in the Hedonist series about a a bunch of MC club members finding LOVE.
Here we have Axel and Caleb. Hard and soft. Damaged from past traumas-together they try to heal.
This series is crazy good. This one was really well written and I read it very quickly! I felt like the therapy was represented in an honest and true way which I appreciated.
Overall, this was a great addition to the series. Who doesn't love a marshmallow with a tough exterior falling in LOVE!
May 5, 2019
Loves this book
This series gets better & better with each new book. Caleb is terrified by Axel 's size to the point of actively avoiding the large biker. But Axel just wants to be near Caleb. As Caleb faces his demons he begins to let Axel into his world but maybe things are moving too fast & Caleb is heading for a fall, that could push them apart for ever. Fantastic book can't wait for book 5.
This series gets better & better with each new book. Caleb is terrified by Axel 's size to the point of actively avoiding the large biker. But Axel just wants to be near Caleb. As Caleb faces his demons he begins to let Axel into his world but maybe things are moving too fast & Caleb is heading for a fall, that could push them apart for ever. Fantastic book can't wait for book 5.
May 19, 2019
A story worth reading....
I really enjoyed reading this 4th book in the series. Two men wanting each other, but not knowing how to make it happen. Caleb trying to overcome the damage and nightmare of a home invasion, that left him terrified. Axel trying to show him, he has no reason to be afraid of him. Even though his presence brings back bad memories of the night his family was murdered. It's a long journey for them both, and worth reading.
I really enjoyed reading this 4th book in the series. Two men wanting each other, but not knowing how to make it happen. Caleb trying to overcome the damage and nightmare of a home invasion, that left him terrified. Axel trying to show him, he has no reason to be afraid of him. Even though his presence brings back bad memories of the night his family was murdered. It's a long journey for them both, and worth reading.
May 21, 2019
Good read
I enjoyed reading Axel and Cabel's story. which had bubbled nicely in the background for the previous two books. A nice tale of how Caleb deals with his traumatic event and the steps Axel is willing to do to reassure him, lovely tale and deals with therapy well. Slight flashback to the home invasion, however nothing overtly gory. A nice read and look forward to reading Hung/ Nick, Tony/ Cane stories etc.
I enjoyed reading Axel and Cabel's story. which had bubbled nicely in the background for the previous two books. A nice tale of how Caleb deals with his traumatic event and the steps Axel is willing to do to reassure him, lovely tale and deals with therapy well. Slight flashback to the home invasion, however nothing overtly gory. A nice read and look forward to reading Hung/ Nick, Tony/ Cane stories etc.
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