‫ما الذي تتمناه لأطفالك فعلًا؟‬

by Wayne W. Dyer

لابد أن لديك أحلامًا لأطفالك؛ فأنت تريد رؤيتهم وهم يكبرون سعداء وأصحاء ومعتمدين على أنفسهم وواثقين بها وبقدراتهم؛ ولكن ـ إن كنت أبًا تقليديًّا ـ فربما تتساءل إن كنت تستطيع منحهم كل هذا. ربما ستكون سعيدًا إذا عرفت أنك تستطيع ذلك.
وين داير يشاركك في الحكمة والتوجيه اللذين ساعدا ملايين من القراء على تغيير حياتهم من خلال شرح كيف يمكنك أن تحقيق أحلامك الخاصة بأطفالك.

من قراءة هذا الكتاب، سوف تتعلم:
الأسرار السبعة السهلة لبناء تقدير الذات عند أطفالك يوميًّا.
كيف تعطي كل طفل صغير كل الحب الذي يحتاج إليه دون أن تفسده.
كيف تشجع المخاطرة دون الخوف من الفشل.
إستراتيجيات عملية للتعامل مع غضبك وغضب طفلك.
الطريقة المثلى (والطريقة غير الصحيحة) لتحسين سلوك طفلك.

Genres: Parenting, Self Help, Nonfiction, Childrens, Psychology, Family, Spirituality

542 pages, Kindle Edition

About the author

Wayne Walter Dyer was an American self-help author and a motivational speaker. Dyer earned a Bachelor’s degree in History and Philosophy, a Master’s degree in Psychology and an Ed.D. in Guidance and Counseling at Wayne State University in 1970. Early in his career, he worked as a high school guidance counselor, and went on to run a successful private therapy practice. He became a popular professor of counselor education at St. John's University, where he was approached by a literary agent to put his ideas into book form. The result was his first book, Your Erroneous Zones (1976), one of the best-selling books of all time, with an estimated 100 million copies sold. This launched Dyer's career as a motivational speaker and self-help author, during which he published 20 more best-selling books and produced a number of popular specials for PBS. Influenced by thinkers such as Abraham H. Maslow and Albert Ellis, Dyer's early work focused on psychological themes such as motivation, self actualization and assertiveness. By the 1990s, the focus of his work had shifted to spirituality. Inspired by Swami Muktananda and New Thought, he promoted themes such as the "power of intention," collaborated with alternative medicine advocate Deepak Chopra on a number of projects, and was a frequent guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

Reviews

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is THE most awesome book on parenting! It really opened my eyes to how my actions, both intentional and unintentional, help shape the personalities my children are developing. I have gifted this book to others and I, myself, have read it and re-read it...going back to it often to affirm what I've learned and am practicing.

[Tajamul Hussain]

children born are as no limit individuals, with zero hang ups. It is the adults, more so the parents who in the garb of parenting carry out the attempts to straitjacket these tiny lives according to their whims. I read this book way back in 1990 when my son was born.I tried my best to implement the prescriptions from the book. Believe me I had to face embarrassment many a time. But my son who is in mid twenties and daughter that is in teens have grown largely into kind of no non sense persons, creative to the boot. thanks Wayne, thanks.... My son read it and it is, believe me, our family book,a bed book to be consulted every time we are faced to make parenting to our kids

[Janelle Rush]

This is a fabulous book. Every teacher and parent should be required to read it. If only all children could be raised with the practices in this book. The world would certainly be a better place! Highly recommend this one. It's one you need to read more than once, too!

[Shana · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING! We set the example and memories for children...this books shows you how to inspire and motivated children to believe that their goals are attainable - they just have to believe in themselves.

[Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for parents of all ages.

[Ineke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book a long time ago and I still cherish it.

[Jodi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent practical advice but nothing really earth shattering. At times it was a little dated too since it was published in 1985. The letter in the front of the book by Bonnie Kippen kind of turned me off becuae she seemed to not want her children to be "good influences" or "sweet" because they would then be too indoctrinated by society and I fail to see why that is so horrible as long as a child can still be creative and enjoy themselves - we have to follow rules to survive as a society! I also don't have a problem with telling my children to "do their best." I don't think this is such a horrible thing - I'm not expecting perfection but just for them to do their best at something. I definitely fit the Type A personality description in this book although I have learned to tone it down a bit - intense striving, competitiveness, deadline urgency, impatience, and organization. I have gotten better with these things as I have aged though.

In the book the author is very against medication of any kind and although I am not big on taking medication myself, I don't think it is fair for a doctor to be so against it. Sometimes, medication for depression, anxiety, allergies or a headache might be just the thing someone needs. A professional should give everyone all the information and not spout their beliefs. I also think his comment about "thinking yourself well will keep you well" is a little overblown. Sure a positive attitude is important but his claim that he hasn't been sick for 10 years because of healthy living and positive thinking. I almost felt like he was saying if a person gets a cold, it is their fault. I donk't feel that is fair at all.

His description of a creative child also reminded me a lot of Robbie - wearing his emotions right on his face, he's happy and healthy in one moment and then in the depths of despair the next, he has "odd" fascinations , he loves to tell stories........

Loved this poem on p. 243:

First I was dying to finish high
school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish
college and start working.
And then, I was dying to marry
and have children.
And then I was dying for my children
to grow old enough for school
so I could return to work.
And then I was dying to retire.
And now, I am dying. . .And suddenly
realize, I forgot to live.

I need to remember to slow down and enjoy!

[Osen Akkemik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another classic from Wayne Dyer. Not only I will keep this book next to me all the time but also I am going to recommend it to every parent, every teacher, every parent to be. As I was reading the book I realised all the things i tried to do right for my kids but also the mistakes we are making on a daily basis without realising the consequences. Thank you Wayne Dyer for your ability to articulate your wisdom so well.

[molly]

A book that finally understand what I am trying to provide from my children - happiness, confidence and peace, not what society has deemed success!!

Dyer communicates how to raise "no-limit" kids.

[Rachel Denning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on how to help your children to become more and do more with their lives as adults. Highly recommended

[Natalia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book (spanish version off course), few many times. Every time I learned something more than I can apply in my relationships, whit my children and whit other peopple.

Really loved it!!

[Niki]

Never can read enough parenting books.

[Alžběta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overflowing with eternal wisdom, kindness, and excellent advice, this is one of my all-time favourite books. It doesn't teach you just about parenting - it makes you think about how you live your life and what you really want not just for your kids but also for yourself. Most recommended to literally everyone.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love everything by Wayne Dyer, so it was great to read his take on parenting. It was published in 1985, so some of the language is outdated for sure. The letter at the end was one of the best parts.

[Fatoomdarwish · Rating 3 out of 5]

الكتاب دسم يحتوي على الكثير من المعلومات وكان متعب في القراءة لان خطه صغير
ولكن الكتاب مفيد وبه افكار جميلة بأن نركز على ما نريده لاطفالنا بدل تركيزنا على الامور الغير مهمة ، ولكن ليس كل الافكار تناسبنا كمسلمين

[Jordan Brown · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not like this book overall, it was written in 1985 and it shows. Very poor takes on mental health and overall wellness as well as toxic positivity from this guy who is a psychiatrist. Don't know why we had to read it when we disagree with over half the content.

[Ana · Rating 4 out of 5]

En general, muy bueno. Hubo unos pocos conceptos con los que no estoy de acuerdo pero la gran mayoría del libro me pareció muy bueno y una my buena herramienta para orientar a padres en formas adecuadas de criar hijos felices. Ojala muchos más padres utilizaran su tiempo en leer algo como esto.

[Nick · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I fantastic book! Would read it again for sure as I do want to apply it when I become a parent. Will gift it to friends as well. Thank you Mr. Dyer!

[N.J. Kulkarni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book to read if you have small kids.

[Sanjeev als · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very nice book for parenting. Can be read again and again.

[Jamey Harvey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this on Audible and think it has some great ideas for raising kids but also some good personal insights too.

[Lalita Vasu · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book every parent should read and practice!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should read this book!

[T. Laane · Rating 5 out of 5]

SELF-WORTH AND PARENTING. Building a child’s self-worth is essential, but the idea of teaching children to be their own “parent”, rather than forcing them to follow external rules like cleaning their room or studying, is new and profound. It shifts the focus from control to empowerment.
ATTITUDE AND PERCEPTION. The concept that loving people live in a loving world and hateful people in a hateful one - despite it being the same world - is familiar, but the emphasis on attitude shaping our reality is a fresh reminder. Similarly, the idea that expectations determine whether life feels like a wonderful or terrible journey adds depth to this understanding.
PRAISE OVER CRITICISM. I already valued praising over criticizing, but the example of finding something positive even in failure (e.g., complimenting a child for writing their name correctly when everything else is wrong) is new and practical advice. It reinforces the importance of focusing on strengths to build confidence. And helps to take things with a laughter and showing any progress.
CONFIDENCE THROUGH RISK-TAKING. Confidence comes from trying and failing, and the connection between risk-taking and self-worth is an important perspective. Encouraging children to take risks, even in areas where they might not naturally excel (e.g., playing basketball despite being short), builds resilience and confidence.
EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS. Emotions are influenced by thoughts, and the emphasis on listening to your internal dialogue rather than external events is profound. The statement “Nothing in the world can upset you, only what you tell yourself about life” reframes how we approach emotional well-being.
CELEBRATING THE PRESENT. A mother celebrating her child’s life at age three because “they don’t have to get ahead of somebody” highlights the importance of appreciating who children are in the moment rather than pushing them toward future achievements. “Enjoy the forest, don’t count the trees” is new and beautifully encapsulates the idea of focusing on the bigger picture rather than getting lost in details or comparisons.
ANGER AND INNER EMOTIONS. I loved the analogy of anger and squeezing an orange - where only what’s inside comes out - adds a profound layer of understanding. If anger or hatred comes out under pressure, it’s because it was already inside that person. Similarly, the idea that responding to anger with love is “god-like” reframes how we approach conflict in a deeply meaningful way.
DISCIPLINE AND PARENTING. Discipline should be taught, not forced. That there’s no point in enforcing discipline if after You leaving chaos ensues. The goal is to help children develop self-discipline they can use independently.
MISTAKES AND LOVE. Respond to a child’s mistake with love and reassurance. Hugging them and saying, “We all make mistakes,” creates a safe space for growth and builds trust. It emphasizes being the person they turn to in times of trouble.
CHILDREN AS COMPLETE PEOPLE. Children are not “apprentice people” who will someday become complete - they are already whole individuals, just like adults - they are simply growing and changing as we all do.
ANCIENT HISTORY AND GUILT. The comparison between worrying about Caesar’s battles and yesterday’s mistakes reframes guilt over yesterdays actions as pointless because both are equally unchangeable. This perspective encourages focusing on the present instead of dwelling on regrets.
CHILDLIKE WONDER. Children are naturally present and joyful, adults often “teach” them stress or worry. It highlights the importance of preserving their ability to find joy in simple things, like bubbles or dirt.
CONFIDENCE THROUGH EXPERIENCE. Learning to swim or ride a bike doesn’t involve gaining new skills in that moment but rather gaining belief in oneself. Confidence comes from realizing what you’re capable of, and doing first time the thing you already in your mind knew how to do.
ETHICS AND PERSONAL GROWTH. The notion that you can’t “go back” on ethics once you’ve grown in awareness is new and thought-provoking. It emphasizes that personal growth involves permanent changes in behavior - once you know better, you can’t justify old habits anymore.
PERSPECTIVE ON PROBLEMS. The reminder that most problems with children are actually the parent’s problems (e.g., daily baths aren’t universally necessary) shifts the focus from controlling children’s behavior to reassessing our own expectations and cultural norms.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book not just for working with children but with working with friends and family in general. It's amazing how many mistakes we make in our relationships Feb 2009

I realized that this book can help me with my sorry childhood. My parents made the mistakes. No hugs, no encouragement, no praises, no truth about my birth, and no lots of stuff. How'd I turn out so good. Must have been all those great books I read. They left me alone and I found myself in books. I left them at 19 and married the best guy that taught me the rest.
I keep studying this book to improve my already awesome life.
So, this book helps raise kids and helps correct the raising you got.
June 15, 2009 and continuting

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book last winter by one of my favorite authors. I really agree with most of his parenting premises. I find myself going back to it a lot to get new insights because his thinking does not come naturally to me. (I was raised in a lovingly authoritative household). I love his ideas about encouraging wellness and critical thinking.

[Andrea Smart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome methods of acquiring the wisdom to pass on to your children.

Note for Jaqueline Wilson:
This is how we (plural) are raising our orphaned Nephew Josh!!!!! Your harsh judgments of me are cruel and childish, so do please, grow up and get a partner/child of your own - rather than borrow other people's - only then can you comment on relationships!!! I love and forgive us both. xxx

[Candelaria Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book by the well-known motivational author asks parents to think about what type of people they want their children to be and to parent them accordingly. Giving children the opportunities to learn that their choices have consequences and helping them learn critical thinking to be independent and positive adults begins with the ways we parent and communicate.
I enjoyed it.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

What you really want for children you need to implement for yourself first. It is all connected...I gave it 4 stars b/c it was a bit wordy at times but great insight on how to really give your children what you really want for them and not focus on what you don't want or it will multiply...

[Megan]

Definitely something I'll come back to. There are certain sections that are helpful in my role as a student clinician which I want to refer to later, but I don't necessarily agree with all of Dyer's statements about raising children.