The Leader You Want to Be: Five Essential Principles for Bringing Out Your Best Self--Every Day

by Amy Jen Su

You can be the leader you want to be--today and every day. Do you find yourself wishing you had more hours in the day? Do you want to do more, yet feel you just can't add another thing to your plate without being overwhelmed by stress or compromising your health, relationships, and integrity? No doubt, as a leader, there are some days when you feel the flow. You're able to make a difference and achieve big goals. You feel confident and energized. On days like this, you are your best self--the leader you want to be. But on other days, you go down a different, negative path, with pressures and doubts making you feel like a lesser version of yourself. How can you be the leader you want to be, every day? The answer is more than a time-management system or a silver-bullet solution for changing your routines. Leadership expert and coach Amy Jen Su's powerful new book helps readers discover that the answer lies within. By focusing in specific ways on five key leadership elements--Purpose, Process, People, Presence, and Peace--you can increase your time, capacity, energy, and ultimately your impact, with less stress and more equanimity. Drawing on rich and instructive stories of clients, leaders, artists, and athletes, as well as on research by experts, the author brings together the best of both Western management thinking and Eastern philosophy to provide a holistic yet hands-on approach. The Leader You Want to Be is your indispensable guide to tapping into and expanding your leadership capacity so that you can be your best, sustain yourself, and thrive as a leader.

Genres: Leadership, Management, Business, Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Development, Professional Development

256 pages, Hardcover

First published October 22, 2019

About the author

For almost two decades, Amy Jen Su has worked with CEOs, executives, and rising stars in organizations to sustain and scale their best as they lead organizational growth and transformation. She is Managing Partner and Co-Founder of Paravis Partners, a premier executive coaching and leadership development firm.

Amy is the author of  The Leader You Want to Be: Five Essential Principles for Bringing Out Your Best Self - Every Day (Harvard Business Review Press 2019) which draws on her extensive experience serving industries such as biotechnology, private equity, financial services, software, consumer, and media. She is also co-author of the Washington Post bestseller Own the Room: Discover Your Signature Voice to Master Your Leadership Presence (Harvard Business Review Press 2013), and is a frequent contributor on HBR.org.

Amy holds an MBA from Harvard Business School and a BA in psychology from Stanford University, graduating from both with honors and distinctions.

Reviews

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Nonfiction/Business. I liked this one and her use of what she calls the 5 Ps. She spent enough time on each of her ideas and offered practical applications. The ideas felt purposeful and useful in leadership.

I liked this one...but when I thought about how to rate this one overall, I had to ask myself, "Would this change my life?" That answer is no, but definitely food for thought. So 3 stars.

[Greg Hawod · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would say that one of the most important responsibilities of a leader is that of oneself. One cannot be an effective steward of others lives if he or she is failing to recognize the need to develop oneself.

This book helps leaders to anchor the principles of purpose, process, people, presence, and peace. Readers would benefit on the ideas as well as the practical exercises given in every chapter.

If there is one thing that I would like this book add, that would be more stories. I would like to experience more of the stories of people who exemplify the principles of this book.

[Darya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very thoughtful book and great content. This is the book I would recommend reading, taking notes and reflecting. Building a leader within own self takes time and effort, takes guidance, tries and errors. I like the stories in the book. They are very interesting and engaging and helped my a lot to look back at my own situations and re-think differently. Thank you for ARC!

[Samantha Keane · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 !!! university tees sales conference book read, great read to enter the new year & my last semester of my senior year

[Sergio Caredda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ho sempre qualchee remora sui libri di "auto-aiuto" sui temi della leadership, perché' spesso tendono a semplificare troppo la realtà'. L'idea di base che l'autrice presente e' che esistano due modelli di leadership (chiamati A e B, uno positivo l'altro negativo), che pero' spesso si ritrovano nella stessa persona, e sono spesso legati a influenze esterne. Costruisce quindi un quadro di riferimento per far si che i momenti "B" si riducano, e siano invece di più' quelli A. Sicuramente l'autrice mostra tanta esperienza e molti casi concreti. Alcune delle tecniche proposte sono pero' poco realizzabili senza un supporto di coaching continuativo. Utile comunque per prendere coscienza dia pesto dualismo.

[Bea Elwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like this was the right book at the right time. I wanted to make the "most" of quartine during COVID-19 and had all these projects I wanted to work on. Needless to say it was a bit overwhelming but I appreciated how this book helped me prioritize and focus so I could accomplish the important things.

[Thiago Ghisi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading this incredible book by Amy Jen Su this weekend. What an incredible book! Mind-blowing in so many ways.

All the exercises, examples, and advice are driven by real-life experiences of practice with many high-performing individuals in different industries, not by theories of management.

The book structure, the examples, and how everything connects back and forth is impressive; I could not stop reading it. It was super deep learning, and it took me a lot longer than usual to move through the pages. Not because it was not well written. Far away from that. But because the content was so profound and so actionable that I wanted to make sure I didn't miss a single thing.

Just the core concepts by themselves (not even talking about everything else) are already worth many times the price of the book:

- The 2 "Leadership Modus Operandi": The Leader A vs. Leader B.

- The 4 Pitfalls of Doing that see myself doing so often: I'll Just Do More, I'll Just Do it Now, I'll Just Do It Myself, and I'll Just Do It Later.

- And, The 5 Ps: Purpose, Process, People, Presence & Peace.

If you are looking for a framework on how to grow as a leader and tons of actionable tips for you and your team, this is it.

For folks in Tech like me, you might be thinking: "This is just another book that doesn't apply to us". You could not be more wrong.

[Niyati Em · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. I opted to read this book as a part of NetGalley and then forgot to download it. But I found an audiobook on Scribd and was able to read this GEM!

Whether you're a small business owner who is stuck and wants to expand, or you're an executive in a big organization, this book has huge lessons on how you can be a better leader. It has a clear roadmap with proper exercises that if done, will help you get a fair bit of mental clarity, and most importantly, peace. As a leader, you have to realize that your role is more than getting things done. Your role is holistic and actually impacts more people than you know. In such a case, making sure you're a leader who is kind and impactful is NECESSARY.

Many times, even when we're in leadership positions, we can't bring ourselves to mentally adapt to that level. This causes a lot of stress. Stressors can be related to overwork, improper delegation, lack of processes, or simply overcomplication. Sorting these out mentally can ensure a healthier lifestyle for us and for the people who work for us.

This book is powerpacked with learnings and I will definitely be re-reading it again to glean more insights.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a professional human who is not currently in an official leadership/managerial/supervisory position, but hopes to one day be: this book was a helpful glimpse into things I could start doing now to help me in the long run. The 5 P's are a good way to remember the things that could trip you up or help you thrive: Purpose, Process, People, Presence, Peace. It's helpful to remember that every leader will have good days and bad, but that the good should outweigh the bad if you want to be a leader that others think of as a leader, and not just a manager, or someone they have to deal with because it's their job.

[Alejandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leadership books are best taken advantage of when read and discussed as part of a group. This book has been a starting point for discussion with two separate groups, and I found it useful. The way the content is structured around the 5 P's (Purpose, Process, People, Presence and Peace) is logical and the terminology is approachable and not too jargony. It also doesn't overstay its welcome... by too long... The appendix at the end compiles practical tools that is worthwhile revisiting every now and then when you catch yourself getting comfortable in crisis mode.

[R. Kannan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding and simple framework focusing on 5 Ps:

Purpose
Process
People
Presence
Peace

There are many useful frameworks and exercises in here that I intend to revisit. This is a framework / playbook / workbook all in one. Lots of good book recommendations within too. Probably a good starting point for new managers.

[Mike Cocce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leadership transformation continuum

By far, one of the best leadership books for all those climbing the Corporate ladder and building their own leadership brand. This book provides a very practical approach to help you grow and refine your own leadership style and others.

[JP · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Leader You Want to Be goes deeper than your average leadership book. I found myself making note of several new practices to try. In addition to the five principles, the author relies heavily on a comparison between two types of leaders, with the A being the one we all aspire to.

[Heather Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Leader You Want to Be would be great for managers starting out or new business owners. There is some good information and advice.

[Wally Bock · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re a leader, especially in mid-career, buy a copy of The Leader You Want to Be and read it. It will help you make sense of things and be a better leader, and perhaps, a better person. 

See my full review at

https://www.threestarleadership.com/b...

[Dan Dawson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too much business speak.

[Christopher · Rating 4 out of 5]

New annual read for me

Very poignant, I am now adding this book to my annual most read list. All managers take them over and evaluate their style to this.

[Megan Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

don’t ask me why my first read of the year is a self-help book. it was for work. i do not feel self-helped. but interesting.

[Maddy Sauca · Rating 5 out of 5]

had to read this for a conference but so good just about life in general too

[Ryan Berardi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book #4: The Leader You Want to Be: Five Essential Principles for Bringing Out Your Best Self - Every Day (Amy Jen Su).

I'm grateful to my colleague Carly Britch for suggesting this as a book study for us throughout the last few months. The premise is a familiar one to current leaders and valuable foreshadowing for those who see leadership only for its "sunny day" parts. We have moments when we feel we are effectively directing the flow of change (Jen Su calls this "Leader A") and moments when we feel change is happening to us and a win is simply having two seconds to breathe before the next wave of chaos comes ("Leader B"). Seasoned leaders know that those who choose to lead (formally or informally) will navigate moments of A and B. The book shares experienced insight on how to make the most of your momentum in your A moments and how to navigate through the turmoil of the B moments. The following points increase the likelihood of having more "Leader A" moments.

1. Knowing what not to do as a new leader may be as important, if not more important, as knowing what you should be putting your energy into. Many are familiar with the Eisenhower Matrix (urgency x importance). I like Jen Su's Purpose Quadrants even more (image attached).

2. New leaders find it hard to stop working as an individual contributor. When it is time to take a deep dive into a project, be clear on the "why" (for yourself and your team) and at what point you'll be ready to hand it back off to your team.

3. As you become more senior, you may find that there is a premium on being clear, concise, and articulate. If you plan on doing a "brain dump" (especially with someone who is in charge of your advancement) consider "I'd love to brainstorm with you," or "this thought isn't fully formed yet, but I'd love your gut reaction." Some people don't want to see how the sausage is made.

4. The most successful leaders know how to get back in control when they are "triggered." As crazy at this sounds, when our limbic system is overwhelmed sometimes labeling the emotion (say it in your head or out loud [if you are alone]) can stop the "fight or flight" reaction that may move you to shutting down or saying something you'll regret.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

eh... i mean, it's not terrible, it's just really narrowly focused on helping executives feel better, without actually giving them grounding in the type of principles that will help them get their organizations through challenging times.

[Kathleen Wisemandle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent - well rounded leadership book to understand the critical balance between life, career and executive presence (including succession planning )

[Hayley Hu · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was sitting on my to-read shelf for so long because the title was not interesting. But the content is refreshing. It's really about being the best self in any situation rather than just leaders.