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How to Disappear Completely
" When Emma discovers the first spot, 'like a tiny bright moon' on her left foot, she's at the funeral of her grandmother, who had been her best friend as well. The diagnosis is vitiligo, a skin condition triggered by stress. Creating a large multigenerational cast, Standish knits an absorbing story of loss, identity, and human connections. A rewarding, realistic novel, illuminated by magical elements." — Booklist (starred review) Wonder meets Some Kind of Happiness in this powerful tween novel from Ali Standish, author of the Carnegie Medal nominee The Ethan I Was Before and August Isle . While her grandmother was alive, Emma’s world was filled with enchantment. But now Gram is gone, and suddenly strange spots are appearing on Emma’s skin. Soon, she’s diagnosed with vitiligo—a condition that makes patches of her skin lose their color—and the magic in her world is suddenly replaced with school bullies and doctor appointments. But when Emma writes one last story in the journal she shared with Gram, something strange happens. Someone writes back to her, just like Gram used to. Who’s writing to Emma? And just what is her story going to be, now that everything is so different? Award-winning author Ali Standish explores the ways life transforms us, and how we learn to let go of what we must while still holding fast to who we are. "Seamlessly blending childhood wonder with the slow lessons of maturity, this tale succeeds in celebrating curiosity, thoughtfulness, and collaboration, centering on relatable characters who welcome readers into their world." — Publishers Weekly
384 pages, Hardcover
First published April 28, 2020
45 people are currently reading
5638 people want to read
About the author
Ali Standish
12 books334 followersAli Standish, author of the critically acclaimed The Ethan I Was Before, split her time growing up between North Carolina and several imaginary worlds. The only award she ever won in school was for messiest desk, but that didn’t stop her from going on to get degrees from Pomona College, Hollins University and and the University of Cambridge. She still spends most of her time in her imagination, but you might just spot her walking her two rescue dogs with her Finnish husband around her neighborhood in Raleigh. You can visit her online at www.alistandish.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 105 reviews
May 23, 2020
5/5 stars
I’ve said it before and I will say it again: there is something magical about middle-grade books. Although it’s not my primary genre, it’s without a doubt the one I find the most hidden gems in. Hidden gems like last years August Isle, which made it into the top 5 of my favourite books of the year. And also hidden gems like the 2020 release How to Disappear Completely by the same author, who is quickly rising to the rank of my favourite middle-grade author.
12-year old Emma, feels like her life is losing its colour, and not just as a figure of speech. She discovers her first white spot at the funeral of her grandmother, who was also her best friend. As more and more spots appear and she is diagnosed with vitiligo - a condition that makes patches of her skin lose their color-, her magical adventures with gran are replaced with school bullies and doctor appointments.
But when Emma writes one last story in the journal she shared with Gram, something strange happens. Someone writes back to her, just like Gram used to. Who’s writing to Emma? And just what is Emma’s own story going to be, now that everything is so different?
There’s a quote by Einstein that I love:
“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough”.
I often feel the same holds true for middle-grade writing. It’s one thing to be able to write about big topics like death, identity, and the fear that comes with a medical condition at such a young age, using big words in literary fiction. It’s something else entirely to do so even better using words that a child can understand. Ali Standish has perfected that art, and that might be some of the highest praise any author can get.
How to Disappear Completely is heartfelt, poignant, comforting and a large part of me wishes that 12-year old me had had a book like this. The other part of me is just very happy that I have it now. If you have a middle-grader in your life: do them a favour and get them this book. And while you’re at it, get a copy for yourself as well. I don’t care how old you are, you are never too old or too “educated” to appreciate this gem.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again: there is something magical about middle-grade books. Although it’s not my primary genre, it’s without a doubt the one I find the most hidden gems in. Hidden gems like last years August Isle, which made it into the top 5 of my favourite books of the year. And also hidden gems like the 2020 release How to Disappear Completely by the same author, who is quickly rising to the rank of my favourite middle-grade author.
12-year old Emma, feels like her life is losing its colour, and not just as a figure of speech. She discovers her first white spot at the funeral of her grandmother, who was also her best friend. As more and more spots appear and she is diagnosed with vitiligo - a condition that makes patches of her skin lose their color-, her magical adventures with gran are replaced with school bullies and doctor appointments.
But when Emma writes one last story in the journal she shared with Gram, something strange happens. Someone writes back to her, just like Gram used to. Who’s writing to Emma? And just what is Emma’s own story going to be, now that everything is so different?
There’s a quote by Einstein that I love:
“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough”.
I often feel the same holds true for middle-grade writing. It’s one thing to be able to write about big topics like death, identity, and the fear that comes with a medical condition at such a young age, using big words in literary fiction. It’s something else entirely to do so even better using words that a child can understand. Ali Standish has perfected that art, and that might be some of the highest praise any author can get.
How to Disappear Completely is heartfelt, poignant, comforting and a large part of me wishes that 12-year old me had had a book like this. The other part of me is just very happy that I have it now. If you have a middle-grader in your life: do them a favour and get them this book. And while you’re at it, get a copy for yourself as well. I don’t care how old you are, you are never too old or too “educated” to appreciate this gem.
May 14, 2020
If I had a time machine, I’d go back and hand this book to 11 year old me. I’d promise her that she’d find comfort in it; That it would be the friend she was struggling to find.
This book offered enormous solace to me, though, even as an adult, both within the pain conveyed and the lessons learned. It’s such an honest story, taking you straight into the narrator’s aching heart as she confesses all of the pain she is grappling with after losing her grandmother and being bullied and ostracized at school when she develops a non-contagious but appearance changing skin condition called vitiligo. The story does not dilute the potency of these difficult emotions and I really appreciated that. It’s expressed simply and appropriately, since this is a children’s book, but it speaks well to the grownups who have endured similar things. And even though the focus is Emma’s experience, the author also creates a sense of empathy for the reader toward those around us, even when it seems like they don’t deserve it. I thought this narrative was powerful and emotionally provocative in so many ways.
I am undeniably grateful that the owner of The Dog Eared Book sang this book’s praises, as it hadn’t been on my radar and since it’s middle grade, I may have foolishly never given it a second glance. Now I want to give a copy to every person I love so they can feel it wrap its loving arms around them, just as it did for me. Don’t pass this one by. It’s a beautiful story.
This book offered enormous solace to me, though, even as an adult, both within the pain conveyed and the lessons learned. It’s such an honest story, taking you straight into the narrator’s aching heart as she confesses all of the pain she is grappling with after losing her grandmother and being bullied and ostracized at school when she develops a non-contagious but appearance changing skin condition called vitiligo. The story does not dilute the potency of these difficult emotions and I really appreciated that. It’s expressed simply and appropriately, since this is a children’s book, but it speaks well to the grownups who have endured similar things. And even though the focus is Emma’s experience, the author also creates a sense of empathy for the reader toward those around us, even when it seems like they don’t deserve it. I thought this narrative was powerful and emotionally provocative in so many ways.
I am undeniably grateful that the owner of The Dog Eared Book sang this book’s praises, as it hadn’t been on my radar and since it’s middle grade, I may have foolishly never given it a second glance. Now I want to give a copy to every person I love so they can feel it wrap its loving arms around them, just as it did for me. Don’t pass this one by. It’s a beautiful story.
March 27, 2024
"It's hard enough to miss someone you've lost. I can't imagine how hard it is to know that someone doesn't miss you back. At least not enough to come home."
April 15, 2020
There is magic all around, but Emma has lost her way. Her grandmother, the one who believed in happy endings, is dead. Then vitiligo spots begin to appear -- first on her feet, then her arms, and soon on her face. Unable to hide them from her 7th grade classmates, Emma becomes a target of a bullying campaign. This new book from Ali Standish reminds us all of the resilience we have inside; of the magic that has been there all along. The beauty of flowers in spring. That encouraging teacher. A loyal friend. A special pet. This book had a bit of a Terebithia vibe. I also loved "Bad Bella" by Standish and this was a delightful surprise. Great for readers who love Kate Messner, Lauren Myracle, and Katherine Applegate.
Thank you to HarperCollins and Edelweiss for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to HarperCollins and Edelweiss for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
January 10, 2021
This book is a beautiful exploration of loss, grief, friendship, depression, a form of chronic illness, and family, all told through the eyes of a 12-year old girl. The dear friend who gave me this book mentioned that this book would have been helpful to her when she was a girl, and I felt the same way, especially when learning about the difference between fitting in and actually connecting. Highly recommend for kids as well as adults!
July 9, 2023
This is one of those books that found me at exactly the right time in my life. Maybe that’s weird to say as a 25 year old about a middle grade coming of age story; but it’s the truth.
First of all this book is beautifully written. There are so many truths in it, and things that resonate no matter what age you are. As someone who has been going through a very dark time recently, i completely empathized with Emma’s experience of feeling like the harder things became, the more she was disappearing. It’s a feeling that I think is very difficult to put into words, and Standish did so perfectly.
I also loved seeing vitiligo representation. I learned a lot as an adult reading it, and I know that younger readers would benefit from this rep, to help them be more empathetic, or to help them feel like they aren’t alone.
This is a book that will stay with me for a very long time. I adored it
First of all this book is beautifully written. There are so many truths in it, and things that resonate no matter what age you are. As someone who has been going through a very dark time recently, i completely empathized with Emma’s experience of feeling like the harder things became, the more she was disappearing. It’s a feeling that I think is very difficult to put into words, and Standish did so perfectly.
I also loved seeing vitiligo representation. I learned a lot as an adult reading it, and I know that younger readers would benefit from this rep, to help them be more empathetic, or to help them feel like they aren’t alone.
This is a book that will stay with me for a very long time. I adored it
December 24, 2025
These books are so deep! I liked the characters and plot a lot better in this one.
July 26, 2020
Ok so first of all this book is super important. I fully believe that acquainting children with topics like vitiligo is essential in making them more tolerant. And this book is really sweet and nice for the most part.
HOWEVER I would have preferred this book to be written by someone who shares the main character's experiences of being black and having vitiligo.
Because as someone who has vitiligo I did feel the representation to not be super accurate and I also didn't LOVE the POC representation.
HOWEVER I would have preferred this book to be written by someone who shares the main character's experiences of being black and having vitiligo.
Because as someone who has vitiligo I did feel the representation to not be super accurate and I also didn't LOVE the POC representation.
May 6, 2020
Richie’s Picks: HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY by Ali Standish, Harper, April 2020, 384p., ISBN: 978-0-06-289328-4
“And I’m so sad
Like a good book
I can’t put this day back
A sorta fairytale with you”
-- Tori Amos (2002)
“Vitiligo is a long-term skin condition characterized by patches of the skin losing their pigment. The patches of skin affected become white and usually have sharp margins. The hair from the skin may also become white. The inside of the mouth and nose may also be involved.”
-- from Wikipedia, “Vitiligo”
“In fairy tales, things are always changing into something else. Pumpkins turn into carriages, frogs into princes, mermaids into girls. Nothing is ever what it seems. Nothing ever stays the same. And I guess that’s the way it is in real life, too.
Gram didn’t tell us she was sick until a couple of months ago. Not until she knew she was going to die. I still didn’t believe it, though. Not until the sickness changed her, turning her into a weak old woman.
Then one day, she fell into an enchanted sleep.
That’s the part fairy tales get wrong, see. In Gram’s stories, things usually come out right in the end. Sleeping Beauty wakes up. Little Red Riding Hood gets to go home.
Gram did not wake up. Gram is never coming home.
And with her gone, I don’t know how the story is supposed to go.”
Emma Talbot’s grandmother was also her best friend. Gram was a storyteller who introduced Emma to classic fairy tales. Furthermore, the pair shared secrets that Emma’s mother and sometimes-overbearing, big sister, Lily never knew.
So the timing could not be worse: Emma is sitting in the front pew at her grandmother’s funeral when she notices a small white spot on her foot. After finding more spots, she does an Internet search and reads about vitiligo. Then, in denial, she gets into the bathtub and desperately tries to scrub off the spots until she’s made herself bleed.
Talk about timing: This all takes place just days before Emma begins seventh grade at a new school. Emma and her family had moved in to Emma’s grandmother’s house at the beginning of the summer to take care of her dying grandmother, and they are now living there permanently.
Emma doesn’t know that touches of magic, and being befriended by Fina, another new seventh grader in town, will dramatically turn things around for her.
Readers of HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY will become knowledgeable about vitiligo. But this beautifully-written piece of fiction for 10- to 14 year-olds is far from being an issue story about the autoimmune skin condition.
While there is talk of the creatures one encounters in fairy tales, the magic here has to do with
the friendship between Emma and Fina, and with Emma’s fortuitous encounters with generations of loving adults in the village she now calls home.
Losing her beloved grandmother and suddenly facing a future of vitiligo will not be a picnic for Emma. But she’ll find she’s mistaken about this enchanting story not having a happy ending.
Richie Partington, MLIS
Richie's Picks http://richiespicks.pbworks.com
https://www.facebook.com/richiespicks/
richiepartington@gmail.com
May 9, 2020
See my full review here: https://www.yabookscentral.com/kidsfi...
HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY is a beautiful story about grief and self-confidence. Emma was very close to her grandmother, who recently died of cancer. Her family had moved to town to spend time with her before her death, but Emma and she had always been close. Her grandmother had showed her a magical spot in the woods where the faerie folk lived. Now that she has died, Emma feels lost and sad.
She also notices a white spot on her skin near her toes for the first time. As she starts at a new school, she finds that she has made an enemy of another girl without fully understanding why. However, she also meets a great new friend, Fina, who helps her to be able to brush off the trouble.
The white spots seem to be spreading, and Emma learns she has vitiligo, an autoimmune disorder caused by stress. This is fodder for the bullies at school, and her mother seems to be working hard to fix it. Emma isn't even sure if she wants to fix it and feels a little lost. With her friend and the guidance she imagines from her grandmother, she learns to embrace herself and work to understand others through kindness.
What I loved: The fairytale elements were a minor part of the story, and we mostly read a heartfelt account of loss, friendship, bullies, and embracing yourself as you are. Emma is a great main character, and she is easy to understand and bond with. She also approaches people with kindness that really makes her special. The themes of grief, bullying, and feeling different are ones that will resonate with the middle grade audience. This is a really lovely story that comes together to complete the picture Emma has of her grandmother and to keep her self-confidence despite difficulties.
Final verdict: HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY is a fantastic and beautifully written story of self-confidence, grief, and connecting with others. Highly recommend for the middle grade audience with whom this will resonate.
Please note that I received an ARC. All opinions are my own.
HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY is a beautiful story about grief and self-confidence. Emma was very close to her grandmother, who recently died of cancer. Her family had moved to town to spend time with her before her death, but Emma and she had always been close. Her grandmother had showed her a magical spot in the woods where the faerie folk lived. Now that she has died, Emma feels lost and sad.
She also notices a white spot on her skin near her toes for the first time. As she starts at a new school, she finds that she has made an enemy of another girl without fully understanding why. However, she also meets a great new friend, Fina, who helps her to be able to brush off the trouble.
The white spots seem to be spreading, and Emma learns she has vitiligo, an autoimmune disorder caused by stress. This is fodder for the bullies at school, and her mother seems to be working hard to fix it. Emma isn't even sure if she wants to fix it and feels a little lost. With her friend and the guidance she imagines from her grandmother, she learns to embrace herself and work to understand others through kindness.
What I loved: The fairytale elements were a minor part of the story, and we mostly read a heartfelt account of loss, friendship, bullies, and embracing yourself as you are. Emma is a great main character, and she is easy to understand and bond with. She also approaches people with kindness that really makes her special. The themes of grief, bullying, and feeling different are ones that will resonate with the middle grade audience. This is a really lovely story that comes together to complete the picture Emma has of her grandmother and to keep her self-confidence despite difficulties.
Final verdict: HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY is a fantastic and beautifully written story of self-confidence, grief, and connecting with others. Highly recommend for the middle grade audience with whom this will resonate.
Please note that I received an ARC. All opinions are my own.
January 29, 2022
"I've been angry at you, for telling me all those fairy tales...for making me believe in them. You always said there was truth in every story but after you died all I could see were lies. Like how those stores always have HEA's.
I don't NOT believe them, but I don't think they're the truest part of the fairy tales. They're just the part people remember!
The true part is that there's always a battle.
I don't think you can know how your story ends, but the ending is always better if you're willing to fight for it.
That's why you told me all those stories. That's what you wanted to teach me.
To fight for myself."
- Emma (talking to her gramma who died)
I liked this book as it is the first book I've ever read to address childhood vitiligo.
It addresses how we see ourselves, how we think others see us. And the many battles that brings us.
Emma's gma died and then right after she begins to notice white spots on her, to discover she has vitiligo.
New to the area and the school she struggles with connecting even more now with a skin disease.
To escape her daily life Emma goes to her/gma secret forest where they shared stories. The old journal they wrote in has been written in - by someone else!
But who?
Thus we encounter a few mysteries in here as well.
Pick it up for yourself.
I'm sure you'll get a boost of confidence in humanity again, and maybe even in yourself too, if you do.
I don't NOT believe them, but I don't think they're the truest part of the fairy tales. They're just the part people remember!
The true part is that there's always a battle.
I don't think you can know how your story ends, but the ending is always better if you're willing to fight for it.
That's why you told me all those stories. That's what you wanted to teach me.
To fight for myself."
- Emma (talking to her gramma who died)
I liked this book as it is the first book I've ever read to address childhood vitiligo.
It addresses how we see ourselves, how we think others see us. And the many battles that brings us.
Emma's gma died and then right after she begins to notice white spots on her, to discover she has vitiligo.
New to the area and the school she struggles with connecting even more now with a skin disease.
To escape her daily life Emma goes to her/gma secret forest where they shared stories. The old journal they wrote in has been written in - by someone else!
But who?
Thus we encounter a few mysteries in here as well.
Pick it up for yourself.
I'm sure you'll get a boost of confidence in humanity again, and maybe even in yourself too, if you do.
July 27, 2020
After losing her grandmother, Emma feels lost. Gram was the only one who really understood Emma and always filled her world with magic. They even shared a secret grove where where fairies left gifts specifically for Emma. But Gran is gone, so Emma feels the magic is gone when she discovers white spots on her skin.
She is diagnosed with vitiligo, a disease that makes patches of her skin lose their color. Suddenly, the fairytales Emma once believed in fade away and are replaced with bullies and doctor appointments, making Emma feeling like she’s been cursed. But when she finds an empty journal mysteriously left in a tree in the grove, she begins to wonder, Who left it and why? And just what is her story going to be, now that everything is so different?
What I loved about this book was not only the relationship between Emma and her gram, but how she handled her Vitiligo. The way she stayed true to herself while also learning to let go was truly amazing. A must read for those looking to find a little magic in tough times.
Reviewed by: Skye Kordistos, Youth and School Services Librarian, Vernon Area Public Library
She is diagnosed with vitiligo, a disease that makes patches of her skin lose their color. Suddenly, the fairytales Emma once believed in fade away and are replaced with bullies and doctor appointments, making Emma feeling like she’s been cursed. But when she finds an empty journal mysteriously left in a tree in the grove, she begins to wonder, Who left it and why? And just what is her story going to be, now that everything is so different?
What I loved about this book was not only the relationship between Emma and her gram, but how she handled her Vitiligo. The way she stayed true to herself while also learning to let go was truly amazing. A must read for those looking to find a little magic in tough times.
Reviewed by: Skye Kordistos, Youth and School Services Librarian, Vernon Area Public Library
August 11, 2021
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 for this quietly moving story about friendship and belonging. Emma and her family move to a small town when her grandmother is diagnosed with cancer. After her death, Emma, who was very close to her, is devastated. On top of it, she notices white spots on her skin. Diagnosed with vitiligo, she spends her time trying to hide it from her peers, convinced that her mother is embarrassed of her, and wondering who is secretly adding to the story she is writing. Perfect for fans of Some Kind of Happiness, which was another sleeper hit for me. Recommended for grades 5-8.
December 12, 2020
I almost filed this under “fantasy,” due to the stories within this cleverly-woven story. I missed Gram, due to all of Emma’s stories about her. I wanted to see the Goldengrove for myself and hear Gram’s stories firsthand. I wanted to stand next to Emma as she held her ground and didn’t give in to the bullies when it came to her newly-acquired vitiligo.
May 6, 2021
4.5 stars.
This book reminded me of the Kate DiCamillo books I've read. The style is different, but it has that same trick of tackling big, difficult life stuff in child size bites. Despite revolving around death, grief, bullying, and stress induced physical changes, this is a sweet, lovely story.
Other than the emotional aspects I already mentioned, there are minimal content concerns for the intended age group. As is common for middle grade books, the main character occasionally lies to her parents, and there are some family tensions, but those all handled well within the story.
This book reminded me of the Kate DiCamillo books I've read. The style is different, but it has that same trick of tackling big, difficult life stuff in child size bites. Despite revolving around death, grief, bullying, and stress induced physical changes, this is a sweet, lovely story.
Other than the emotional aspects I already mentioned, there are minimal content concerns for the intended age group. As is common for middle grade books, the main character occasionally lies to her parents, and there are some family tensions, but those all handled well within the story.
January 12, 2020
Thank you to Ali Standish and Harper Publishers for sending an ARC to our #bookexpedition group.
Emma has recently lost her Gram, the one person in the world who understood her. Gram and Emma shared a world of fairy tales, a world in which Emma longs to stay, especially when strange white spots begin to appear on Emma’s skin.
As Emma’s world begins to change, new friends help Emma find her way. Emma must come to terms with the past, discovering long-lost secrets along the way. Author Ali Standish does another outstanding job of exploring the MG world.
Emma has recently lost her Gram, the one person in the world who understood her. Gram and Emma shared a world of fairy tales, a world in which Emma longs to stay, especially when strange white spots begin to appear on Emma’s skin.
As Emma’s world begins to change, new friends help Emma find her way. Emma must come to terms with the past, discovering long-lost secrets along the way. Author Ali Standish does another outstanding job of exploring the MG world.
August 12, 2020
Holy smokes, this one is good!
June 13, 2021
Six-stars! A magical story that reminds you of the beauty of love and kindness. It will inspire you to love your family, friends, and students better.
November 25, 2021
A beautiful story about identity, loss, and coming of age. Another one I found at a little book sale. Absolutely beautiful. So sweet.
December 23, 2019
Thank you to the author and HarperCollins for sharing an early edition with our #bookexpedition group.
Emma has just lost her Gram, the person closest to her who filled her world with magic and enchantment. Left feeling like a piece of her is missing, she soon discovers pale spots appearing on her skin and is diagnosed with vitiligo, a condition that makes skin patches lose their color. Feeling lonely, Emma decides to write one last story in a journal that she and her Gram shared and is shocked when she finds someone has written back!
There is so much to love about this middle grade novel:
•the beautiful small town feel of Lanternwood and its residents
•the Spinney, a magical part of the forest where Emma & Gram would dream and create their stories
•the family relationships, school dynamics, and friendships (especially Fina!)
•the way vitiligo is explored and the effects it can have on a person’s life
•the story within a story within a story (Emma’s, the story she’s writing with a mystery person, and the story from Emma’s favorite book)
•the secrets and mysteries that grow throughout the novel
Readers will see Emma show courage and strength as she fights to find herself again.
Favorite quotes:
“Imagination is one of the greatest gifts we have. If we build it up strong enough, it can be anything we need it to be. A home. A friend. A whole entire world.”
“Well, the battles we fight always change us. When we’re fighting them, all we can see is how they wound us. But they can change us for the better, too.”
“But now, I think magic is more like something you have inside of you. Like love, or kindness, or stories.”
Preorder for your middle grade readers now...publishes 4/28/20.
Emma has just lost her Gram, the person closest to her who filled her world with magic and enchantment. Left feeling like a piece of her is missing, she soon discovers pale spots appearing on her skin and is diagnosed with vitiligo, a condition that makes skin patches lose their color. Feeling lonely, Emma decides to write one last story in a journal that she and her Gram shared and is shocked when she finds someone has written back!
There is so much to love about this middle grade novel:
•the beautiful small town feel of Lanternwood and its residents
•the Spinney, a magical part of the forest where Emma & Gram would dream and create their stories
•the family relationships, school dynamics, and friendships (especially Fina!)
•the way vitiligo is explored and the effects it can have on a person’s life
•the story within a story within a story (Emma’s, the story she’s writing with a mystery person, and the story from Emma’s favorite book)
•the secrets and mysteries that grow throughout the novel
Readers will see Emma show courage and strength as she fights to find herself again.
Favorite quotes:
“Imagination is one of the greatest gifts we have. If we build it up strong enough, it can be anything we need it to be. A home. A friend. A whole entire world.”
“Well, the battles we fight always change us. When we’re fighting them, all we can see is how they wound us. But they can change us for the better, too.”
“But now, I think magic is more like something you have inside of you. Like love, or kindness, or stories.”
Preorder for your middle grade readers now...publishes 4/28/20.
March 10, 2020
How to Disappear Completely by Ali Standish, 384 pages. HarperCollins, April 2020. $17.
Language: PG (6 swears, 0 “f”); Mature Content: G; Violence: PG (bullying)
BUYING ADVISORY: EL – ADVISABLE; MS - ESSENTIAL
AUDIENCE APPEAL: AVERAGE
Emma, 7th grader, and her family moved to Lanternwood to care for Gram (Dad’s mom), who just passed away, leaving Emma feeling adrift. Gram delighted her with fairytales and introduced Emma to the beautiful part of the wood she calls The Spinney and to her favorit book, The World at the End of the Tunnel by R.M. Wildsmith. On the day of Gram’s funeral, Emma sees a white spot between her toes. She doesn’t think much of it, but then she notices more spots. The verdict – vitiligo. Now she’s a new girl in a new school and she’s about to become a freak.
Standish has so many great subplots that she has woven together that I can’t give it justice in a short summary. Emma’s relationship with her mother, with her sister, her friendships, and different instances of learning not to be judgemental. So many good things! I will alert my counselors about this, but kids will just like to because it’s good.
Cindy, Library Teacher, MLS
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2020...
Language: PG (6 swears, 0 “f”); Mature Content: G; Violence: PG (bullying)
BUYING ADVISORY: EL – ADVISABLE; MS - ESSENTIAL
AUDIENCE APPEAL: AVERAGE
Emma, 7th grader, and her family moved to Lanternwood to care for Gram (Dad’s mom), who just passed away, leaving Emma feeling adrift. Gram delighted her with fairytales and introduced Emma to the beautiful part of the wood she calls The Spinney and to her favorit book, The World at the End of the Tunnel by R.M. Wildsmith. On the day of Gram’s funeral, Emma sees a white spot between her toes. She doesn’t think much of it, but then she notices more spots. The verdict – vitiligo. Now she’s a new girl in a new school and she’s about to become a freak.
Standish has so many great subplots that she has woven together that I can’t give it justice in a short summary. Emma’s relationship with her mother, with her sister, her friendships, and different instances of learning not to be judgemental. So many good things! I will alert my counselors about this, but kids will just like to because it’s good.
Cindy, Library Teacher, MLS
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2020...
June 27, 2020
So many great quotes in the book! “The smell of her is so strong it makes my eyes water. It smells like wishing.” and “...what people think of you usually tells you much more about THEM than it does about YOU.” and “Maybe you can’t change what people think of you, but sometimes what people think changes you, whether you want it to or not.” and also, “As I turn to go, my heart feels like it’s splitting open and being mended at the very same time.” and finally “Well, the battles we fight always change us. When we’re fighting them, all we can see is how they wound us. But they can change us for the better, too.” So you can tell the book is about change and acceptance. I didn’t rate it 5 stars because I didn’t like switching between the 3 stories, and in addition, the protagonist spoke directly to the reader sometimes. It was also quite a lengthy book. But I loved the relationship between Emma and her Gran.
April 18, 2024
AMAZING. An absolutely fabulous read. I need to buy this book!
How to Disappear Completely is the story of a brave girl who is struggling with the death of her Grandmother who also happens to be her best friend. As she works though her emotions another layer is added, a strange autoimmune disease she had never heard of is bleaching parts of her skin. As she lives through challenges such as, bulling, loneliness, and fear for her skin, Emma learns the true meaning of friendship and re-discovers the magic that is in the world.
Ali Standish has composed a story I know I'm going to reread many times. I wish I could write with such a compelling pen.
How to Disappear Completely is the story of a brave girl who is struggling with the death of her Grandmother who also happens to be her best friend. As she works though her emotions another layer is added, a strange autoimmune disease she had never heard of is bleaching parts of her skin. As she lives through challenges such as, bulling, loneliness, and fear for her skin, Emma learns the true meaning of friendship and re-discovers the magic that is in the world.
Ali Standish has composed a story I know I'm going to reread many times. I wish I could write with such a compelling pen.
February 26, 2020
I thought this was sweet, but the ending feels almost a bit too contrived to me— Or as Kirkus put it, “As subtle as an extremely heartwarming brick.”
Read
January 2, 2019I had the privilege of reading an early copy of this.
July 26, 2020
Ali Standish is one of my favorite authors and one of the few I will auto-buy when a new book comes out. I was delighted to add this latest title to my school library collection. Like all of Standish's books, it's a masterpiece and delves into many complex issues.
Emma has always felt most at home in her grandmother's cottage (nicknamed Morning Glory Cottage). In fact, Emma considers her Gram to be her best friend. So when Gram dies, Emma is heartbroken. Her family moves into Morning Glory Cottage but the troubles that plagued her from her old home plague her still. Emma's mother and sister are practically perfect in every way (and want Emma to be to) and now Emma needs to make new friends at her new school (where she is starting as a 7th grader).
At least Emma has the woods and a particular grove that her grandmother showed her years back. Here, Emma continues the story she and her Gram had begun writing. One day, she returns to the grove to discover that someone has written back to her. Who is the mysterious author? Is it someone who knew Gram? While trying to puzzle out this mystery, Emma has another to solve. Little white dots have begun appearing on her skin and she doesn't know why. When her mother takes her to the doctor she is diagnosed with vitiligo and learns that her spots may, eventually, cover all/most her skin. Can Emma find a way to live with her spots? Will she solve the mystery of the writer? Will she ever make friends or get her mom to understand her?
How to Disappear Completely was a good book but, for some reason, I personally enjoyed it less than The Ethan I was Before & August Isle. All three of these books contain a mystery in them, all three are about young teens that experience character growth throughout the book. I can't put my finger on why How to Disappear was less appealing to me. It felt like a slower read than the other two but I like books like that too. All this to say, that while I think this will be the perfect book for many, many readers, it just wasn't for me. I do think this is a great add to a school library as I have never read a book where the main character has vitiligo (which is surprising considering that 1 in 100 people have it).
Content Notes:
Sex? None
Profanity/Swearing? A few instances of taking the Lord's name in vain (think OMG stuff)
Teen drinking? None
LGBTQ+ rep? Not specified
Diversity? Yes, the MC is African American, her best friend is Latinex
Themes include: death of a grandparent (and MC was really close to her grandma), high achieving mother, anxious parent, friend drama, social isolation, writing
Could a conservative Christian school add this title?
Absolutely!
Emma has always felt most at home in her grandmother's cottage (nicknamed Morning Glory Cottage). In fact, Emma considers her Gram to be her best friend. So when Gram dies, Emma is heartbroken. Her family moves into Morning Glory Cottage but the troubles that plagued her from her old home plague her still. Emma's mother and sister are practically perfect in every way (and want Emma to be to) and now Emma needs to make new friends at her new school (where she is starting as a 7th grader).
At least Emma has the woods and a particular grove that her grandmother showed her years back. Here, Emma continues the story she and her Gram had begun writing. One day, she returns to the grove to discover that someone has written back to her. Who is the mysterious author? Is it someone who knew Gram? While trying to puzzle out this mystery, Emma has another to solve. Little white dots have begun appearing on her skin and she doesn't know why. When her mother takes her to the doctor she is diagnosed with vitiligo and learns that her spots may, eventually, cover all/most her skin. Can Emma find a way to live with her spots? Will she solve the mystery of the writer? Will she ever make friends or get her mom to understand her?
How to Disappear Completely was a good book but, for some reason, I personally enjoyed it less than The Ethan I was Before & August Isle. All three of these books contain a mystery in them, all three are about young teens that experience character growth throughout the book. I can't put my finger on why How to Disappear was less appealing to me. It felt like a slower read than the other two but I like books like that too. All this to say, that while I think this will be the perfect book for many, many readers, it just wasn't for me. I do think this is a great add to a school library as I have never read a book where the main character has vitiligo (which is surprising considering that 1 in 100 people have it).
Content Notes:
Sex? None
Profanity/Swearing? A few instances of taking the Lord's name in vain (think OMG stuff)
Teen drinking? None
LGBTQ+ rep? Not specified
Diversity? Yes, the MC is African American, her best friend is Latinex
Themes include: death of a grandparent (and MC was really close to her grandma), high achieving mother, anxious parent, friend drama, social isolation, writing
Could a conservative Christian school add this title?
Absolutely!
December 8, 2022
What happens in this book is what the synposis says happens and what the 72 other reviews say happens. What happens in THIS review is what happened in me when I read what happened in this book. I could start almost every review that way, and maybe I will. You don't need one more boring plot rehash, do you?
At night before bed what I want is to read kids' books. The reason I want that is because my mind races like a racecar, and if I read non-fiction like I do in the daytime then my mind will zoom zoom and my heart will go boom boom and my sleep will go down the tube, and so that is why I read kids' books at night.
I was attracted to the title (I'm a sucker for good words) and the cover art (I'm a sucker for pretty pictures). When I began reading page 1 I wasn't disappointed, and this is always a good start for me. I can usually tell within the first page if I'm going to be interested in spending a lot of time with this character/author. So Ali Standish passed my first test which isn't a test at all but I need words to say approximately what I am thinking, so yes, it's a test...ish.
After the first few chapters my next test is whether or not I continue to be drawn in by the author's wording, and THEN the plot and character test happens. Several chapters in Ali passed this test, too, so I kept reading and I was interested.
Oddly enough, about 75% of the way through the book I started feeling what I assume was something like boredom. I have certainly quit books 75% of the way through--even up to 90%!--but after a week of avoiding the last 25% of this book, I cranked the rest out in one night and was reasonably satisfied.
If another one of Ali's books comes across my eyesight then I will make a determination then and there about reading it. As for this book, it was decent enough and I'm glad she wrote it. I think kids with health issues or body image issues may appreciate a character who is dealing with a skin disease that literally affects how people see them. I think the hero of the story was the main character's friend Fina, who displays those wonderful qualities we all want in a friend: loyalty, fierceness, and kindness.
At night before bed what I want is to read kids' books. The reason I want that is because my mind races like a racecar, and if I read non-fiction like I do in the daytime then my mind will zoom zoom and my heart will go boom boom and my sleep will go down the tube, and so that is why I read kids' books at night.
I was attracted to the title (I'm a sucker for good words) and the cover art (I'm a sucker for pretty pictures). When I began reading page 1 I wasn't disappointed, and this is always a good start for me. I can usually tell within the first page if I'm going to be interested in spending a lot of time with this character/author. So Ali Standish passed my first test which isn't a test at all but I need words to say approximately what I am thinking, so yes, it's a test...ish.
After the first few chapters my next test is whether or not I continue to be drawn in by the author's wording, and THEN the plot and character test happens. Several chapters in Ali passed this test, too, so I kept reading and I was interested.
Oddly enough, about 75% of the way through the book I started feeling what I assume was something like boredom. I have certainly quit books 75% of the way through--even up to 90%!--but after a week of avoiding the last 25% of this book, I cranked the rest out in one night and was reasonably satisfied.
If another one of Ali's books comes across my eyesight then I will make a determination then and there about reading it. As for this book, it was decent enough and I'm glad she wrote it. I think kids with health issues or body image issues may appreciate a character who is dealing with a skin disease that literally affects how people see them. I think the hero of the story was the main character's friend Fina, who displays those wonderful qualities we all want in a friend: loyalty, fierceness, and kindness.
March 26, 2025
Summary:
Emma, a 12-year-old girl, is struggling with multiple challenges—grieving the recent loss of her beloved grandmother, dealing with her parents' separation, and facing bullying at school. On top of that, she begins developing vitiligo, a skin condition that causes loss of pigmentation in patches. As she navigates these difficulties, Emma discovers a mysterious journal that seems to be connected to her grandmother. Through the journal and her own journey of self-acceptance, Emma learns to embrace her differences, find strength in herself, and uncover hidden family secrets. With support from new friends and her late grandmother’s wisdom, she realizes that she is not defined by her appearance but by the person she is inside. (ChatGPT, March 25, 2025)
Commentary:
How To Disappear Completely by Ali Standish was an emotional read that made me look back when I lost my grandmothers and the challenges that I have to overcome. Getting to know Emma was a delight read, her resilience is truly inspiring when going through many changes. Another thing that I enjoy about the book was how it brought awareness to vitiligo, and Emma learned to embrace her skin condition. I think that is an important lesson for a child to overcome and learn to accept their differences. The themes that surround this book are, Grief, self-acceptance, friendship, and courage (ChatGPT, 2025)
Application:
In the classroom I would use this book to help students who are possibly dealing with either grief or are struggling with body images. This book will be great for independent reading and have class discussions about Emma’s journey. A good activity that can be done while reading this book is to have the students start a journal and have them write any challenges they are facing or any challenges they have overcome. The suggestive grades are 3th-7th (Amazon,2025);on the other hand, I strongly feel that due to the themes that this book contains the appropriate grades should be 5th grade and up.
Emma, a 12-year-old girl, is struggling with multiple challenges—grieving the recent loss of her beloved grandmother, dealing with her parents' separation, and facing bullying at school. On top of that, she begins developing vitiligo, a skin condition that causes loss of pigmentation in patches. As she navigates these difficulties, Emma discovers a mysterious journal that seems to be connected to her grandmother. Through the journal and her own journey of self-acceptance, Emma learns to embrace her differences, find strength in herself, and uncover hidden family secrets. With support from new friends and her late grandmother’s wisdom, she realizes that she is not defined by her appearance but by the person she is inside. (ChatGPT, March 25, 2025)
Commentary:
How To Disappear Completely by Ali Standish was an emotional read that made me look back when I lost my grandmothers and the challenges that I have to overcome. Getting to know Emma was a delight read, her resilience is truly inspiring when going through many changes. Another thing that I enjoy about the book was how it brought awareness to vitiligo, and Emma learned to embrace her skin condition. I think that is an important lesson for a child to overcome and learn to accept their differences. The themes that surround this book are, Grief, self-acceptance, friendship, and courage (ChatGPT, 2025)
Application:
In the classroom I would use this book to help students who are possibly dealing with either grief or are struggling with body images. This book will be great for independent reading and have class discussions about Emma’s journey. A good activity that can be done while reading this book is to have the students start a journal and have them write any challenges they are facing or any challenges they have overcome. The suggestive grades are 3th-7th (Amazon,2025);on the other hand, I strongly feel that due to the themes that this book contains the appropriate grades should be 5th grade and up.
January 31, 2020
Thank you to the author and publisher for sharing an advance copy of How to Disappear Completely with Collabookation.
During her beloved grandmother's funeral, Emma notices a strange white dot on her foot. A week or so later, there are two. And then more. Not only is Emma going through the stages of mourning, but now her skin is turning on her. Doctor's confirm what Emma and her mom already knew: vitiligo. Soon she is targeted by other students and decides that maybe hiding away is better than dealing with her mom, who wants to fix everything, and mean classmates.
There are so many threads that weave together beautifully in this book. Turns out, Emma and her grandmother were more alike than they ever could have known, and while this makes her angry at first, a good friend points out that it's an honor. Speaking of that good friend, the thread of friendship through this book illustrates that you only really need that one person who will always have your back, but who will also shake you out of your misery (if you need shaking, that is). And through her perfect mom and sister, Emma learns that striving to please everyone in every way is actually no way to live.
With the setting constantly changing and short chapters, this is a longer book, but a quick read. Reminiscent of The War That Saved My Life in the way that both Standish and Bradley have the ability to weave so many threads together seamlessly, I thoroughly enjoyed How to Disappear Completely. Highly recommend to readers in grade 5 & up.
During her beloved grandmother's funeral, Emma notices a strange white dot on her foot. A week or so later, there are two. And then more. Not only is Emma going through the stages of mourning, but now her skin is turning on her. Doctor's confirm what Emma and her mom already knew: vitiligo. Soon she is targeted by other students and decides that maybe hiding away is better than dealing with her mom, who wants to fix everything, and mean classmates.
There are so many threads that weave together beautifully in this book. Turns out, Emma and her grandmother were more alike than they ever could have known, and while this makes her angry at first, a good friend points out that it's an honor. Speaking of that good friend, the thread of friendship through this book illustrates that you only really need that one person who will always have your back, but who will also shake you out of your misery (if you need shaking, that is). And through her perfect mom and sister, Emma learns that striving to please everyone in every way is actually no way to live.
With the setting constantly changing and short chapters, this is a longer book, but a quick read. Reminiscent of The War That Saved My Life in the way that both Standish and Bradley have the ability to weave so many threads together seamlessly, I thoroughly enjoyed How to Disappear Completely. Highly recommend to readers in grade 5 & up.
October 19, 2021
“Imagination is one of the greatest gifts we have. If we build it up strong enough, it can be anything we need it to be. A home. A friend. A whole entire world.”
🌳
Emma notices the first spot on her foot at her Gram’s funeral. After a trip to the dermatologist she finds out she has vitiligo, a skin condition that is brought on by stress and creates spots all over one’s skin. Emma’s world used to be filled with magic and wonder, but is dark and lonely now that her Gram has passed away, her spots make her an outcast at her new school and a bully has targeted her. But when Emma begins writing a story in the journal she shared with her Gram, someone begins to write back, bringing life and joy back into Emma’s life when she needs it the most.
📓
I don’t know how many times I teared up, cried or flat out bawled reading this beautiful MG book. It reminded me what books can do for people. It can make them believe in imagination and in magic again. This story does a beautiful job of dealing with grief, trauma and bullying—every middle grade reader should start it immediately. This is my first Standish novel, but not my last.
CW: vitiligo, grief, death, bullying, agoraphobia
🌳
Emma notices the first spot on her foot at her Gram’s funeral. After a trip to the dermatologist she finds out she has vitiligo, a skin condition that is brought on by stress and creates spots all over one’s skin. Emma’s world used to be filled with magic and wonder, but is dark and lonely now that her Gram has passed away, her spots make her an outcast at her new school and a bully has targeted her. But when Emma begins writing a story in the journal she shared with her Gram, someone begins to write back, bringing life and joy back into Emma’s life when she needs it the most.
📓
I don’t know how many times I teared up, cried or flat out bawled reading this beautiful MG book. It reminded me what books can do for people. It can make them believe in imagination and in magic again. This story does a beautiful job of dealing with grief, trauma and bullying—every middle grade reader should start it immediately. This is my first Standish novel, but not my last.
CW: vitiligo, grief, death, bullying, agoraphobia
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