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It's Not About Me
"I realised that for organisations to be sustainable, they needed to be run by local staff. And for local staff to run organisations, they needed to be empowered."When Sally Hetherington was 25, she packed up all her belongings and bought a one-way ticket to Cambodia, determined to make a difference. But when she got there, the situation on the ground was grave. Sally had been told that the role she came to play in managing short-term volunteers was crucial to sustainable development. However, what she saw was disempowered staff, children with attachment issues, and an unhealthy 'white saviour' syndrome. Sally knew she had to make a big change.So she started at the core, the community. Sally set about to develop a community centre with a team of Cambodians, with the end goal of making herself redundant. Sticking to her belief of local empowerment in a country filled with voluntourists was tough. Despite the countless obstacles she faced living in a community with a culture significantly different to hers, she was able to form insurmountable relationships and learn first-hand of the struggles of poverty faced by community members in the outskirts of rural Siem Reap.This manifesto has five years of stories that will make you laugh, cry and challenge your preconceived beliefs about the best way to help people in developing countries. It is a must-read for those who want to make a positive change through ethical and sustainable development.
332 pages, Paperback
Published May 29, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
January 13, 2025
Development is intrinsically human, every aspect of development involves human lives. I really feel this fact is strongly reflected in Sally’s book, a book that itself if wholly about being human. This is even reflected in the name of the organisation discussed throughout the book, ‘Human and Hope Association’. Sally’s genuine reflections on the ups and downs of her time in Cambodia is a heartening yet challenging read about her efforts to close the gap between good intentions and good development practice. I enjoyed being taken along Sally’s journey as she combines reflection, story telling and factual details to show why true sustainable development should never be about ‘me’, and needs to be entirely community led.
It was clear to me that Sally has a thorough working knowledge of how to progress human rights from being theoretical concepts to tangible, real life outcomes. Sally also explores the ethics of international travel, specifically tackling the hot topic of ‘voluntourism’ from both a personal perspective and from the perspective of everyday Cambodians. While I was often challenged by what I read in ‘It’s Not About Me’, I never felt harshly dealt with. I think this was because Sally is so open and honest about her own voluntourism journey throughout the book, I felt that I was simply going along on this journey with her.
This is a simply written and easy to read book, which just adds to how difficult it is to put down once you get started. I highly recommend it for anyone who want to travel, anyone who is interested in helping others, and those who want to be a part of positive changes in this world through true sustainable development practices. I also think this is a great book for any students of international relations, human rights, development studies, and the general humanities fields.
It was clear to me that Sally has a thorough working knowledge of how to progress human rights from being theoretical concepts to tangible, real life outcomes. Sally also explores the ethics of international travel, specifically tackling the hot topic of ‘voluntourism’ from both a personal perspective and from the perspective of everyday Cambodians. While I was often challenged by what I read in ‘It’s Not About Me’, I never felt harshly dealt with. I think this was because Sally is so open and honest about her own voluntourism journey throughout the book, I felt that I was simply going along on this journey with her.
This is a simply written and easy to read book, which just adds to how difficult it is to put down once you get started. I highly recommend it for anyone who want to travel, anyone who is interested in helping others, and those who want to be a part of positive changes in this world through true sustainable development practices. I also think this is a great book for any students of international relations, human rights, development studies, and the general humanities fields.
August 7, 2019
I have read Sally's book in one weekend and absolutely loved it and shared it for my family to read. I admit we have fell under the traps of voluntourism ourselves and we knew it was not exactly right. Sally genuinely shares her stories with great humour and expertise. At the end of the read, you will feel comfortable being even more generous with a true impact for Cambodia, any countries in the world and any causes you are passionate about.
October 15, 2019
Having been a development studies student, I was familiar with voluntourism and the side-effects of 'development' when done to communities by outsiders, rather than by and with locals. I've also known many well-intentioned folks who have had a voluntourist experience as a student, and witnessed their varying reactions ranging from the social media selfie-posting self-congratulatory phenomenon vs the uncomfortable itchiness of 'poverty tourism' in a questionably post-colonial world. But I hadn't come across a personal narrative, describing the day to day experiences of volunteering in an orphanage or school, and it’s the detail of this experience recounted by Sally Hetherington in 'It's Not About Me' that gripped me from the first pages.
Setting out with a desire to change the world as a voluntourist, Sally instead finds the interaction with Cambodian children and the tourists that come to 'help' with their education deeply troubling. As the instances of entitled foreigners demanding access to school children during classes to 'teach' by painting faces or singing songs begin to mount up, Sally's worldview begins to change. She begins to see that voluntourism is getting in the way of local people providing local solutions, and is perpetuating a cycle of dependence without building capacity.
It's Sally's involvement with a local group of volunteers teaching English after work hours which provides the opportunity to help build local capacity, helping the teachers get on with teaching by becoming operations manager of what became Human and Hope Association (HHA). Her experiences and those of HHA's staff make for a fascinating, sometimes horrifying, and often laugh out loud funny read, all narrated in Sally's warm, no-nonsense and self-deprecating voice.
As the years pass and Sally works towards making herself redundant, the organisation strengthens its leadership and values, eventually putting in place a policy of no foreign tourists (the difficulty of implementing this policy makes for an interesting few pages!), and providing university scholarships for staff.
There are children Sally sees go from reluctant learners, to successful public school students with strong social skills, excelling in their studies. There are, heartbreakingly, other children who despite extra resources and visits from HHA staff to talk to parents, still disappear from school and are spotted working as rubbish pickers to enable their families to subsist. There are hairy moments of road accidents, ghosts and malaria, not to mention wrestling matches with cultural context and western ethics.
'It's Not About Me' is a thought-provoking mix of travel memoir, biography, social commentary and development manifesto that all travellers and socially conscious readers will enjoy. I was absorbed!
Setting out with a desire to change the world as a voluntourist, Sally instead finds the interaction with Cambodian children and the tourists that come to 'help' with their education deeply troubling. As the instances of entitled foreigners demanding access to school children during classes to 'teach' by painting faces or singing songs begin to mount up, Sally's worldview begins to change. She begins to see that voluntourism is getting in the way of local people providing local solutions, and is perpetuating a cycle of dependence without building capacity.
It's Sally's involvement with a local group of volunteers teaching English after work hours which provides the opportunity to help build local capacity, helping the teachers get on with teaching by becoming operations manager of what became Human and Hope Association (HHA). Her experiences and those of HHA's staff make for a fascinating, sometimes horrifying, and often laugh out loud funny read, all narrated in Sally's warm, no-nonsense and self-deprecating voice.
As the years pass and Sally works towards making herself redundant, the organisation strengthens its leadership and values, eventually putting in place a policy of no foreign tourists (the difficulty of implementing this policy makes for an interesting few pages!), and providing university scholarships for staff.
There are children Sally sees go from reluctant learners, to successful public school students with strong social skills, excelling in their studies. There are, heartbreakingly, other children who despite extra resources and visits from HHA staff to talk to parents, still disappear from school and are spotted working as rubbish pickers to enable their families to subsist. There are hairy moments of road accidents, ghosts and malaria, not to mention wrestling matches with cultural context and western ethics.
'It's Not About Me' is a thought-provoking mix of travel memoir, biography, social commentary and development manifesto that all travellers and socially conscious readers will enjoy. I was absorbed!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 8, 2019
I have read the book twice and really loved every single chapter of it. Very educational and also very relate-able. It has helped me think about all my future travels and be more mindful about where my money is spend and how to empower locals for their long term benefit, especially in developing countries.
I really admire the author, Sally's determination and resilient. She had a goal in mind and she followed it till the end overcoming most problems that others would have conformed to.
I really admire the author, Sally's determination and resilient. She had a goal in mind and she followed it till the end overcoming most problems that others would have conformed to.
August 15, 2019
I loved Sally’s book so much I became an Ambassador for Human and Hope. It’s not just a manifesto documenting her time in Cambodia and the successful efforts to empower locals to alleviate poverty but also an educational tool kickstarting the conversation surrounding the growing trend of voluntourism. Sally is as generous as she is passionate and as smart as she is genuine. A fabulous read for anyone who wants to travel and make ethical choices when giving back to the communities you are visiting. Thank you for writing this book Sally.
August 15, 2019
This is such an excellent book to read. Recommend to someone who wants to learn more about being an ethical traveller and the negative impact of voluntourism and learn more about how to better support the charities work in the low-income country in term of empowering and sustainable approach for the local people. This book is also great for someone who wants to learn more about the facts behind Cambodia and the love and inspired story of Sally, the author who spent almost five years in Cambodia.
August 17, 2019
Great book. Very interesting perspective on fighting poverty.
August 12, 2019
This is the new amazing book that describe life of volunteering in developing country as in Siem Reap Province, Cambodia. It inform the negative impact and positive outcome. I like this book SO much. It provide many good advice.
Thanks the writer Sally Hetherington,
Thanks the writer Sally Hetherington,
August 7, 2019
This is a great book that I loved reading.
October 18, 2019
I would give this book 6 stars if I could. A thought provoking read about the dangers and pitfalls of overseas voluntourism. Sally combines her knowledge and experience from her time in Cambodia setting up a locally run NGO, to convey how well meaning tourists are contributing to the disempowerment of the local communities of developing counties. A must read for anyone who may be thinking about volunteering at schools/orphanages overseas, I guarantee after finishing this book, your mind will be changed. Although the tone of the book is serious, including graphic detail of the Khmer Rouge (there is a disclaimer before the book proceeds into this), Sally also combines light humour and optimism to make for a profound and entertaining read.
October 19, 2019
This book highlighted how so often we go about 'helping' the wrong way. In aiming to support people or developing countries that we may believe need a hand out, we overlook the fact that all they really need is a hand up.
Teaching a country or community to become self-sufficient is the only way we should be planning to do helpful work, whether it's overseas or even here at home. The best thing we can do as tourists is provide seed funding for overseas programs that enable a community to become entrepreneurs. They know what's best - not us.
I encourage anyone with an interest in philanthropy to read this great story.
Teaching a country or community to become self-sufficient is the only way we should be planning to do helpful work, whether it's overseas or even here at home. The best thing we can do as tourists is provide seed funding for overseas programs that enable a community to become entrepreneurs. They know what's best - not us.
I encourage anyone with an interest in philanthropy to read this great story.
October 28, 2019
“It’s Not About Me” is a must read for anyone interested in voluntourism. Although I have never been a “voluntourer”, I am guilty as charged when it comes to my actions as a visitor of low income countries. That is, I was one of those people who thought I was helping by giving money to begging children. How wrong I was. This book has taken me from ignorance to knowledge, and I applaud Sally for investing so much of herself in the quest to educate. In addition to the valuable learnings in this book, it was a truly enjoyable read with some suitably light moments and a real life love story to boot. Stand proud Sally Hetherington.
October 9, 2019
I highly recommend this book to any one travelling to developing countries, especially those who are interested in volunteering overseas.
It is incredibly insightful book, from someone who has lived and worked in Cambodia for many years. Her experience is inspiring and helps navigate how we can all contribute to alleviating poverty in an ethical and sustainable way.
It’s an easy read that leaves a big impact!
It is incredibly insightful book, from someone who has lived and worked in Cambodia for many years. Her experience is inspiring and helps navigate how we can all contribute to alleviating poverty in an ethical and sustainable way.
It’s an easy read that leaves a big impact!
October 10, 2019
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it. Not only is it an inspiring story about a young woman who gave up the creature comforts of life in Australia to work tirelessly for a small Cambodian community; but it also educates the reader about the harmful effects of voluntourism in developing countries. A must read for anyone considering travelling abroad to volunteer, or anyone with an interest in sustainable development.
October 15, 2019
Anyone who has the heart to make a difference in any kind of community to help REALLY needs to read this!! It’s changed my entire philosophy of what it means to help another community, especially one in a developing nation. Sometimes we think we’re doing good, when we’re really not. All it takes is insight and awareness which this book has given me, as well as a few laughs along the way. A very GOOD READ INDEED!! :-)
October 8, 2019
A true story from a poor country with a tragic recent past, this book illustrates a pathway of hope and opportunity for locals who may otherwise have been doing it tough from the day they were born.
Told from the perspective of an outsider willing to help, then finding shared humanity transcending all differences.
Told from the perspective of an outsider willing to help, then finding shared humanity transcending all differences.
October 17, 2019
I read this book in a week. Loved how it made you think and re evaluated ur beliefs on how to help people. It’s a great educational tool. I recommended this book to all my family and friends and their loving it too.
October 14, 2019
A very insightful, poignant, heartfelt and eye-opening read. Highly recommend!
August 1, 2022
It’s Not About Me by Sally Hetherington is a masterpiece for many reasons. After reading this book in two days, I wanted to know more about many things that she brilliantly described, such as the voluntourism itself, the places she mentioned in the book, and some sad (and sometimes horrific) stories about the history of Cambodia. Of course, about the author herself, Sally Hetherington – I spent another hour or two down the rabbit hole. Isn't it just so great when you find one of those books that ultimately drags you in, makes you wonder how you would react when you face the same challenges and hardship and demands that you sit on the edge of your seat for some emotional stories in the book? This is one of those books for me.
Further, I will try my best to describe this book in five different emotions that I was vividly feeling when I was reading the book.
Grateful. How grateful we are, living in Australia, one of the wealthiest countries in the world. Our children are relatively in a very safe environment, whilst in many parts of the world, children often become the victim of circumstances, abusive adults around them, and a society that neglects the safety of children.
Upset. Sally’s story in the ‘Time for A Change’ chapter, when she was confronted with the reality that society sometimes protects criminals due to culture and religion, made me upset. Then, Sally was like a superhero when she decided to fight back, change the situation, and not give up on protecting children; I was cheering for her.
Heartbroken. I was heartbroken when I read about how much people do to get funding without caring about the devastating impact of poverty tourism and how it helps perpetuate the trauma and suffering of children. After much reading about voluntourism, I am convinced it does more harm than good.
Joyful. What a rollercoaster ride – I finally could feel joy after reading many success stories, especially Salin’s story –how the organisation that Sally founded had helped him to score a scholarship for him, and many years later, he became an integral part of the organisation and self-sufficient from his earned salary- is a true example of a proverb: “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day—if you teach him to fish, you feed him for life.”
Hopeful. Thanks to Sally and her work, and for her tenacity and strong desire to help people in Cambodia, I was feeling hopeful. I finished the book with new hope that people like Sally know how to make differences appropriately and choose not necessarily the quickest, easiest, most lucrative way but the conscientious and moral manner. I especially applaud her approach and belief that education matters and empowerment is the right way. Hence, the best practice is to let an organisation serving the local people be run locally, albeit less glamorous and requiring a much more complex process and extended time. Her grit and persistence help her to persevere even in a very challenging situation.
Kudos to Sally for what a fantastic book – I started reading the book with curiosity and finished the book with abundant hope.
Further, I will try my best to describe this book in five different emotions that I was vividly feeling when I was reading the book.
Grateful. How grateful we are, living in Australia, one of the wealthiest countries in the world. Our children are relatively in a very safe environment, whilst in many parts of the world, children often become the victim of circumstances, abusive adults around them, and a society that neglects the safety of children.
Upset. Sally’s story in the ‘Time for A Change’ chapter, when she was confronted with the reality that society sometimes protects criminals due to culture and religion, made me upset. Then, Sally was like a superhero when she decided to fight back, change the situation, and not give up on protecting children; I was cheering for her.
Heartbroken. I was heartbroken when I read about how much people do to get funding without caring about the devastating impact of poverty tourism and how it helps perpetuate the trauma and suffering of children. After much reading about voluntourism, I am convinced it does more harm than good.
Joyful. What a rollercoaster ride – I finally could feel joy after reading many success stories, especially Salin’s story –how the organisation that Sally founded had helped him to score a scholarship for him, and many years later, he became an integral part of the organisation and self-sufficient from his earned salary- is a true example of a proverb: “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day—if you teach him to fish, you feed him for life.”
Hopeful. Thanks to Sally and her work, and for her tenacity and strong desire to help people in Cambodia, I was feeling hopeful. I finished the book with new hope that people like Sally know how to make differences appropriately and choose not necessarily the quickest, easiest, most lucrative way but the conscientious and moral manner. I especially applaud her approach and belief that education matters and empowerment is the right way. Hence, the best practice is to let an organisation serving the local people be run locally, albeit less glamorous and requiring a much more complex process and extended time. Her grit and persistence help her to persevere even in a very challenging situation.
Kudos to Sally for what a fantastic book – I started reading the book with curiosity and finished the book with abundant hope.
July 27, 2025
It’s Not About Me is an essential read for anyone with the heart and the means to give. Whether it’s time, money, or resources, this book will change the way you think about aid, charity, and the true meaning of empowerment.
Sally Hetherington’s raw and emotional recount of her time in Cambodia working alongside locals to build Human and Hope, a grassroots NGO run by Cambodians, for Cambodians, is nothing short of inspiring. Her story opened my eyes to the power of sustainable, locally-led solutions and the pitfalls of (sometimes) well intentioned but misguided foreign intervention.
As someone who grew up in a low-income, single-parent household, I never imagined I’d one day be in a position to give. But for the first time in my life, I'm not only in a financial position to help, I now have the knowledge to do it in a way that is meaningful and respectful. Sally’s experience and advice have equipped me with a deeper understanding of how to contribute to causes I care about, without centering myself in the process.
This isn’t just a book, it’s a call to thoughtful, impactful action. Thank you, Sally, for sharing your story so candidly. I’ll be recommending this to everyone I know.
Sally Hetherington’s raw and emotional recount of her time in Cambodia working alongside locals to build Human and Hope, a grassroots NGO run by Cambodians, for Cambodians, is nothing short of inspiring. Her story opened my eyes to the power of sustainable, locally-led solutions and the pitfalls of (sometimes) well intentioned but misguided foreign intervention.
As someone who grew up in a low-income, single-parent household, I never imagined I’d one day be in a position to give. But for the first time in my life, I'm not only in a financial position to help, I now have the knowledge to do it in a way that is meaningful and respectful. Sally’s experience and advice have equipped me with a deeper understanding of how to contribute to causes I care about, without centering myself in the process.
This isn’t just a book, it’s a call to thoughtful, impactful action. Thank you, Sally, for sharing your story so candidly. I’ll be recommending this to everyone I know.
September 11, 2022
Insightful into the harm that volunteering can do on developing communities, but also had interesting parallels with working in remote communities in Australia.
July 18, 2023
A brilliant book written by a brilliant person, who has changed so many life’s including my own. Thank you Sally for all you have done. ❤️
July 22, 2024
Wow. What. A. Read. Recommend reading this to learn more about Cambodian people and what they go through in their daily lives.
August 2, 2024
This is a memoir by the incredible Sally Hetherington about her experiences founding and developing a non government organisation in Cambodia with the aim to reduce the impact of voluntourism and empower Cambodians with the skills to break the cycle of poverty themselves.
This was a really interesting read describing the problems with participating in voluntourism - volunteering in another country. I haven’t done this myself but family members of mine have and I always seen it as a really good thing. I love travelling, and like to consider how I can travel in the most sustainable way, without a negative impact on the local communities. I’m still learning and sometimes I don’t get it right but reading this book is part of my learning to be a good global citizen!
The NGO Sally developed in Cambodia, Human and Hope Association, is so impressive and it was amazing to read about how it was created and how it is run - completely by locals within their own community. I am currently participating in the @chaptersforchangeau readathon this month to raise money for literacy programs for Human and Hope. If you’d like to donate to this worthwhile cause, please see the link in my bio. Or if you’d like to support Human and Hope in other ways, you can become a regular donor or purchase items made by their sewing students.
This was a really interesting read describing the problems with participating in voluntourism - volunteering in another country. I haven’t done this myself but family members of mine have and I always seen it as a really good thing. I love travelling, and like to consider how I can travel in the most sustainable way, without a negative impact on the local communities. I’m still learning and sometimes I don’t get it right but reading this book is part of my learning to be a good global citizen!
The NGO Sally developed in Cambodia, Human and Hope Association, is so impressive and it was amazing to read about how it was created and how it is run - completely by locals within their own community. I am currently participating in the @chaptersforchangeau readathon this month to raise money for literacy programs for Human and Hope. If you’d like to donate to this worthwhile cause, please see the link in my bio. Or if you’d like to support Human and Hope in other ways, you can become a regular donor or purchase items made by their sewing students.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews