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Dragon Removal Service #1
Dragon Removal Service
The war was bad. The cleanup is worse.
Sure, the dragon is dead and the Sorcerer is defeated. But with all the silly left-over magic running around the kingdom of Baltica, things are 'worser-than-worse'. Who's going to clean it all up?
Eleven-year-old Gulchima Brixby thinks she's the girl for the job. She's just inherited the family construction company, and they're drowning in debt. When a bill-collector threatens her family with prison, Gulchima makes a risky decision. She signs a contract to remove all the silly left-over magic from the kingdom's biggest town.
Fairy poo in the factory? Swan-maidens under the bridge? Pumpkins that strangle you in your sleep? How hard could it be? It's only magic...
But when a dead dragon drops on her doorstep, the job gets dangerous. Someone is sabotaging her contract, and if Gulchima can't figure out who killed that dead dragon, she might be next .
--------------------------------------------- Preposterous plots, ridiculous reasoning, glowing beards and obliteration of the fourth wall. If you need a trope-twisting laugh, buy Dragon Removal Service today!
Sure, the dragon is dead and the Sorcerer is defeated. But with all the silly left-over magic running around the kingdom of Baltica, things are 'worser-than-worse'. Who's going to clean it all up?
Eleven-year-old Gulchima Brixby thinks she's the girl for the job. She's just inherited the family construction company, and they're drowning in debt. When a bill-collector threatens her family with prison, Gulchima makes a risky decision. She signs a contract to remove all the silly left-over magic from the kingdom's biggest town.
Fairy poo in the factory? Swan-maidens under the bridge? Pumpkins that strangle you in your sleep? How hard could it be? It's only magic...
But when a dead dragon drops on her doorstep, the job gets dangerous. Someone is sabotaging her contract, and if Gulchima can't figure out who killed that dead dragon, she might be next .
--------------------------------------------- Preposterous plots, ridiculous reasoning, glowing beards and obliteration of the fourth wall. If you need a trope-twisting laugh, buy Dragon Removal Service today!
358 pages, Paperback
Published February 22, 2019
135 people are currently reading
144 people want to read
About the author
Eric Stever
16 books19 followersEric "E.C." Stever is the author of humorous fantasy and science fiction adventures. He has been publishing for over a decade.
He lives along the River of No Return with a geologist, two unrepentant marshmallow fanatics, and several hundred eyebrow mites (don't judge, you have them too). Alas, the coyotes have eaten his cats.
His favorite authors include: Terry Pratchett, Isaac Asimov, Neil Gaiman, Alexander McCall Smith, Vernor Vinge and Bill Bryson. Especially (especially), Bill Bryson's audio books.
Find out more at ericstever.com
He lives along the River of No Return with a geologist, two unrepentant marshmallow fanatics, and several hundred eyebrow mites (don't judge, you have them too). Alas, the coyotes have eaten his cats.
His favorite authors include: Terry Pratchett, Isaac Asimov, Neil Gaiman, Alexander McCall Smith, Vernor Vinge and Bill Bryson. Especially (especially), Bill Bryson's audio books.
Find out more at ericstever.com
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
October 23, 2019
More fun than a barrel of Lunkers!
Hey, if you enjoyed Monty Python and the Holy Grail or Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, or…I don’t know…the Marx Brothers—you’ll love E. C. Stever’s unique Dragon Removal Service. But be warned! Beneath the madcap mayhem and just plain zaniness lies a remarkably well-crafted story about realistically drawn characters with more true to life motivations than those found in many a “serious” fantasy. (Of course, underneath them lie some pretty nasty magical leftovers, not to mention beasties.) Even the craziest lines you might think were tossed in for humor, turn out to be integral plot elements. Now that’s well structured comedy. Seriously! Unless you’re a trangle or something, you’ve just got to read this!
Hey, if you enjoyed Monty Python and the Holy Grail or Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, or…I don’t know…the Marx Brothers—you’ll love E. C. Stever’s unique Dragon Removal Service. But be warned! Beneath the madcap mayhem and just plain zaniness lies a remarkably well-crafted story about realistically drawn characters with more true to life motivations than those found in many a “serious” fantasy. (Of course, underneath them lie some pretty nasty magical leftovers, not to mention beasties.) Even the craziest lines you might think were tossed in for humor, turn out to be integral plot elements. Now that’s well structured comedy. Seriously! Unless you’re a trangle or something, you’ve just got to read this!
March 22, 2019
Indescribable
This would make an Interesting children’s book. The plot is nearly indecipherable, the characters use random words like ‘whiffle-waffle’, and reason has nothing to do with the world. Children will either be enchanted by such creatures as Man-of-Arms or be frightened by trangles and lunkers.
I was alternately bored and amused. Not really sure how I finished it.
This would make an Interesting children’s book. The plot is nearly indecipherable, the characters use random words like ‘whiffle-waffle’, and reason has nothing to do with the world. Children will either be enchanted by such creatures as Man-of-Arms or be frightened by trangles and lunkers.
I was alternately bored and amused. Not really sure how I finished it.
September 17, 2024
Well this was a highly amusing and entertaining read! A very slapstick type of humour that either has you chucking like crazy, or annoyed. Me, hells bells, I was chuckling like a lunatic! Very original with great pacing and a whole lota mayhem! If Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman had a baby, this is what it would look like! Insanely wacky, this can easily be read by any age group, well as long as you like wacky that is. It's not only funny, there is a real core and backbone to the characters, which I was surprised at. That wasn't what I was expecting, I mean, do you see the title???
Galchima, only 11 years old, is an old soul. Her aim? To help her family get out of crippling debt. Her task? To cleanup any silly leftover magic. That should say it all! I enjoyed the real life situation, even though she's a kid, she's determined to see her job done, even though someone is hellbent on stopping her, even though a dead dragon appears on her turf, even though everything suddenly becomes dangerous, she buckles down to try solve the mystery of who killed the dragon and why. Oh and what do you expect to find in a factory? Why, very logically, poo fairies of course! So many other unlikely tidbits but they work. Clever, comical, entertaining. Even Rahl Dahl would say job well done!
Galchima, only 11 years old, is an old soul. Her aim? To help her family get out of crippling debt. Her task? To cleanup any silly leftover magic. That should say it all! I enjoyed the real life situation, even though she's a kid, she's determined to see her job done, even though someone is hellbent on stopping her, even though a dead dragon appears on her turf, even though everything suddenly becomes dangerous, she buckles down to try solve the mystery of who killed the dragon and why. Oh and what do you expect to find in a factory? Why, very logically, poo fairies of course! So many other unlikely tidbits but they work. Clever, comical, entertaining. Even Rahl Dahl would say job well done!
March 3, 2019
Tons of fun! A brilliant idea, writing a story about dealing with the aftermath of the fight between good and evil. Life goes on, and there's lot to cleanup, whether its a haunted forest or mischievous creatures under a bridge, wrecking everyone's day. Gulchima and Hubward will take you on a romp through it all, and you'll laugh from beginning to end!
January 15, 2020
Picked it up as an entertaining 'new Pratchett' and while it's a quick and fun read it didn't quite rock my houseboat.
Some interesting characters and ideas and a nifty explanation of how dragons fly but I wasn't pulled into the story.
Need a fast fun chuckle and this may be for you. Want something with a Pratchettesque bite and it misses the punch to the offbeat antics.
Some interesting characters and ideas and a nifty explanation of how dragons fly but I wasn't pulled into the story.
Need a fast fun chuckle and this may be for you. Want something with a Pratchettesque bite and it misses the punch to the offbeat antics.
April 14, 2020
Well written and funny
Really liked this story, although it is more of a YA read than I expected. Good world build with well thought out characters (both good and bad) and a very interesting plot.
Really liked this story, although it is more of a YA read than I expected. Good world build with well thought out characters (both good and bad) and a very interesting plot.
February 16, 2019
I got it for free it's very good 5 stars!!!
May 19, 2019
Super funny
The characters are great and the world of this story is the best kind of weird. A really fun read.
The characters are great and the world of this story is the best kind of weird. A really fun read.
January 16, 2020
Original
Some of the lowest high fantasy I've read. Interesting setting with grey morality and an entertaining premise. Will keep an eye out for a sequel
Some of the lowest high fantasy I've read. Interesting setting with grey morality and an entertaining premise. Will keep an eye out for a sequel
March 7, 2020
This book is great! Stever is a genius.
April 4, 2020
Fabulously funny and inventive
Twisting the tropes, bashing the fourth or sixth wall, magic and missing fingers glowing beards and nutty fairies - great fun -
Twisting the tropes, bashing the fourth or sixth wall, magic and missing fingers glowing beards and nutty fairies - great fun -
August 16, 2022
Definitely Pratchett-like, but somehow I couldn’t quite get into it. Hard to know why.
Read
June 14, 2024DNF
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 20, 2020
I really wanted to like this book but I couldn't get past the writing style. :-(
July 4, 2020
Full of preposterous plots, boisterous characters, and silly schemes. There is an element of humour running throughout the book that I enjoyed and some very imaginative/novel ideas.
Not big on character development. A fun book for a holiday read or when you don't want anything too serious. Ideal for YA audience.
Not big on character development. A fun book for a holiday read or when you don't want anything too serious. Ideal for YA audience.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews