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Better than Beauty: A Guide to Charm
While beauty makes a first impression, charm lasts a lifetime. It's the perfect simplicity of manners--a winsome blend of kindness, confidence, and grace.
Better than Beauty resuscitates the long-lost art of charm with hints, tips, and tricks guaranteed to boost our charm quotient. First published in 1938, this classic compendium is overflowing with timeless advice to help guide you through a maze of social interactions with wit and finesse. Much more than an etiquette or personal grooming book, Better than Beauty tackles complicated social situations with delicacy. You'll learn
-How to engage in creative conversation
-How to be pleasant on paper and refined on the telephone
-How to choose your confidantes with care
-How to maintain peace in difficult situations
-How to find the most flattering clothing for your figure
-How to deflect unwanted advances
-How to be kind to atrocious people
And much, much more...
Better than Beauty resuscitates the long-lost art of charm with hints, tips, and tricks guaranteed to boost our charm quotient. First published in 1938, this classic compendium is overflowing with timeless advice to help guide you through a maze of social interactions with wit and finesse. Much more than an etiquette or personal grooming book, Better than Beauty tackles complicated social situations with delicacy. You'll learn
-How to engage in creative conversation
-How to be pleasant on paper and refined on the telephone
-How to choose your confidantes with care
-How to maintain peace in difficult situations
-How to find the most flattering clothing for your figure
-How to deflect unwanted advances
-How to be kind to atrocious people
And much, much more...
156 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1938
74 people are currently reading
1765 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
April 11, 2011
This book was originally published in the 30's. And the only thing the publishers did when they chose to recirculate it was dress up the cover. But I knew I was reading something vintage when I bought it (actually ,that's why I bought it) so I wasn't disappointed.
Valentine and Thompson write this book knowing full well their readers probably already know etiquette. Or, at least enough etiquette to not completely embarrass themselves in polite society. I mean come on, it was the 30's. Everybody was more polite than they are now. At least in my head. Anyhoodle, this book isn't about the rules so much as common sense.
"No, you don't have to wear makeup, but think how much fresher you look with it on."
It covers everything from Beauty to Friendship to Money and it's a handy little book. Caution: Ignore the bit where they tell you to only tip your waiter 10%. It was written in the 30's. Now 20% is acceptable, anything less is cheap. Never once does the reader feel condescended to and the examples of what not to do that they use are never vicious. They seem to genuinely want women to have the absolute best advantage because the way they see it "everyone loves a charming girl" and really, they're right. They talk about the importance of gratitude (you may not have to write a thank-you-note, but at least say thank you to your hostess), drinking (it's alright to have a cocktail, but for God's sake know your limits), self awareness (your mirror truly is your best friend), and money (don't live beyond your means and know how to balance an account book).
As I said, this is not a rule book, but it is a book on how to put your best foot forward and I think it's a great little read. It's slim, only 156 pages, and it goes quickly. Pick it up if you've got an interest in being charming or if you want to research what women were told in the 1930's. It's great as an historical curiosity and a reference book.
Valentine and Thompson write this book knowing full well their readers probably already know etiquette. Or, at least enough etiquette to not completely embarrass themselves in polite society. I mean come on, it was the 30's. Everybody was more polite than they are now. At least in my head. Anyhoodle, this book isn't about the rules so much as common sense.
"No, you don't have to wear makeup, but think how much fresher you look with it on."
It covers everything from Beauty to Friendship to Money and it's a handy little book. Caution: Ignore the bit where they tell you to only tip your waiter 10%. It was written in the 30's. Now 20% is acceptable, anything less is cheap. Never once does the reader feel condescended to and the examples of what not to do that they use are never vicious. They seem to genuinely want women to have the absolute best advantage because the way they see it "everyone loves a charming girl" and really, they're right. They talk about the importance of gratitude (you may not have to write a thank-you-note, but at least say thank you to your hostess), drinking (it's alright to have a cocktail, but for God's sake know your limits), self awareness (your mirror truly is your best friend), and money (don't live beyond your means and know how to balance an account book).
As I said, this is not a rule book, but it is a book on how to put your best foot forward and I think it's a great little read. It's slim, only 156 pages, and it goes quickly. Pick it up if you've got an interest in being charming or if you want to research what women were told in the 1930's. It's great as an historical curiosity and a reference book.
January 24, 2012
This book is fantastic! So funny (because it was written in 1938) BUT still surprisingly relevant to 2012 in many ways. My fav quote so far: "Everyone prefers a few extra pounds to a shrewish disposition." This was a Kindle deal ($1.99 I think) and it's a hoot! It's like reading advice from a spunky grandmother (in fact, I can actually imagine my own grandmother saying some of these things...) Love it!
May 9, 2013
As a staunch feminist, I expected to find this vintage self help book ridiculous and hilarious, because I thought it would be full of ideas about how to "catch a man" and develop my "womanly charms." I was pleasantly surprised to find that although the description makes it sound like the Cosmopolitan of the thirties, this book is full of relevant and interesting advice for every woman. I give it three and a half stars.
Sure, the first half of the book dwells on physical appearance for far too long, but it makes sense that careful grooming and personal hygiene are desired in every era. I like that the two authors of this book sound remarkably advanced in their beliefs and values; they have progressive ideas about race and gender, and their witticisms liven up the pages of this short, engaging book. Examples include "Better a few extra pounds than a shrewish disposition," and "Your face can't look serene, your conversation can't be bright, your personality can't radiate, if your feet hurt."
Full of simple truisms and nonjudgmental advice, this was an enjoyable read.
Sure, the first half of the book dwells on physical appearance for far too long, but it makes sense that careful grooming and personal hygiene are desired in every era. I like that the two authors of this book sound remarkably advanced in their beliefs and values; they have progressive ideas about race and gender, and their witticisms liven up the pages of this short, engaging book. Examples include "Better a few extra pounds than a shrewish disposition," and "Your face can't look serene, your conversation can't be bright, your personality can't radiate, if your feet hurt."
Full of simple truisms and nonjudgmental advice, this was an enjoyable read.
July 6, 2016
Didn't realise this book to be as dated as it is. Reads like a primer for an aspiring Martha-Stewart wannabe in a nice English countryside, as told by a well-meaning grandmotherly type, before the days of magazines and mooks.
December 9, 2012
Way more old fashioned than I was expecting. However, there are still some things to be gained from parts of the book. Would love to read a more modern etiquette book.
February 16, 2020
GREAT as a social commentary, but not to take for personal advice!
February 7, 2025
So good! I absolutely loved the matter of fact, and non sugar coating tone of this book. So many gems for how to have better confidence & charm, and ultimately better relationships with others. This is a no nonsense book that is FULL of sense! Loved it.
October 8, 2018
Another one of those books written donkeys-ages ago that still is as fresh as a breath of spring. "Charm" is a characteristic not often thought of today, being passed over for her more glamourous cousins "sexy", and "hip". Oh yes, personal habits and dress are covered here as well, but this book is the full charm school course. Carriage included!
November 24, 2009
“Every era has its own concept of charm,” reads the first sentence of Helen Valentine and Alice Thompson’s Better than Beauty. So where should we look to find the epitome of charm today? The Jerry Springer Show? MTV’s The Hills? Surely some hint of it must be seen on VH1’s Charm School 3 with Ricki Lake, right?
When I initially picked up this “Guide to Charm,” originally published in 1938, I wondered what relevance remained for a book that guides its readers on skincare for a generation raised on Retin-A and Proactiv. But for all we know and all we’ve learned in the past seventy years, we haven’t exactly perfected the art of charm. In fact, many argue that the art is depleted entirely (underwear-less starlets, anyone?).
The reactions to the advice dished out in Better than Beauty range from “I wish,” to “You’ve got to be kidding me.” For instance, “I wish I had the time and memory to push back my cuticles each time I wash my hands,” and “You’ve got to be kidding me that people need to be told they should wear antiperspirant.” The book is broken into two parts – what one should do with herself, and how one should act when in the company of others. The first section explores basic upkeep and personal hygiene – how often to brush your hair, how much you should weigh, how to plan a suitable wardrobe for your figure and your budget. While it’s all generally good advice, it is more often than not antiquated. I’m much more likely to hit the gym, than perform the exercises illustrated in this book. And no matter how much I practice lowering myself gracefully into my chair while in public, at the end of the day, I’m still going to plop down on my couch in sweatpants.
The book’s second section, while still providing a dose of “Duh” advice, thoughtfully reminds its modern readers of easily forgotten manners. Perhaps, we shouldn’t be overly generous with our “Thank Yous” for fear that its genuine meaning get lost. And I can think of about a million people I’ve encountered on public transportation who could use a friendly reminder of how to talk on the phone. Throughout, our authors are careful not to criticize and maintain an evenhanded and good humored tone about what they are dishing out. They emphasis the importance of learning to accept yourself as you really are, advising, “Never be afraid of doing the wrong thing.” The only bad manners are those in which one intends harm, and in this world of constant speculation, where tweets go up faster than a weave in flames, we too often worry to excess how we come across.
So, while parts of the guide might be out of date, (too few women work for money to know how to manage it), some things never change (if you talk too loud, people will shut their ears off to you). Likely, no matter your experience or disposition, you’ll take away some gem of advice or a friendly reminder. It may also be the perfect gift for the young girl in your life who you fear might one day end up on For the Love of Ray J 9.
When I initially picked up this “Guide to Charm,” originally published in 1938, I wondered what relevance remained for a book that guides its readers on skincare for a generation raised on Retin-A and Proactiv. But for all we know and all we’ve learned in the past seventy years, we haven’t exactly perfected the art of charm. In fact, many argue that the art is depleted entirely (underwear-less starlets, anyone?).
The reactions to the advice dished out in Better than Beauty range from “I wish,” to “You’ve got to be kidding me.” For instance, “I wish I had the time and memory to push back my cuticles each time I wash my hands,” and “You’ve got to be kidding me that people need to be told they should wear antiperspirant.” The book is broken into two parts – what one should do with herself, and how one should act when in the company of others. The first section explores basic upkeep and personal hygiene – how often to brush your hair, how much you should weigh, how to plan a suitable wardrobe for your figure and your budget. While it’s all generally good advice, it is more often than not antiquated. I’m much more likely to hit the gym, than perform the exercises illustrated in this book. And no matter how much I practice lowering myself gracefully into my chair while in public, at the end of the day, I’m still going to plop down on my couch in sweatpants.
The book’s second section, while still providing a dose of “Duh” advice, thoughtfully reminds its modern readers of easily forgotten manners. Perhaps, we shouldn’t be overly generous with our “Thank Yous” for fear that its genuine meaning get lost. And I can think of about a million people I’ve encountered on public transportation who could use a friendly reminder of how to talk on the phone. Throughout, our authors are careful not to criticize and maintain an evenhanded and good humored tone about what they are dishing out. They emphasis the importance of learning to accept yourself as you really are, advising, “Never be afraid of doing the wrong thing.” The only bad manners are those in which one intends harm, and in this world of constant speculation, where tweets go up faster than a weave in flames, we too often worry to excess how we come across.
So, while parts of the guide might be out of date, (too few women work for money to know how to manage it), some things never change (if you talk too loud, people will shut their ears off to you). Likely, no matter your experience or disposition, you’ll take away some gem of advice or a friendly reminder. It may also be the perfect gift for the young girl in your life who you fear might one day end up on For the Love of Ray J 9.
April 28, 2015
Don't be fooled, as I was, by the retro-cool cover: this book is really from times past (1938)!
Though the idea of charm may endure, the specifics of what is considered charming and chic has changed. If not read with this in mind, Part One of this book "What You Do To Yourself" actually seems shocking. For example: "No makeup is unnatural for an urban woman under sixty".
Beauty and grooming are such a large focus of the book's first chapter "Prelude to Charm" and with a whole chapter on "The Visual Side of Charm," one wonders really if charm is better than beauty. However, it can be boiled down to some sense: cleanliness and general inoffensiveness can set the stage for a good interaction.
Read the entire book as a funny bit of history, or jump to "Part Two: What You Do to Others". This second section seems to have weathered the ages a bit better and serves as a good course / reminder on conversation, and social niceties beyond etiquette.
I found myself appreciating just how funny the examples are (though really, I've found myself in a similar boat). The illustrations too are worth a chuckle. Overall, very much like a well-meaning, if slightly silly aunt with lots of opinions and good advice who somehow manages to coax laughs and avoid being annoying.
Though the idea of charm may endure, the specifics of what is considered charming and chic has changed. If not read with this in mind, Part One of this book "What You Do To Yourself" actually seems shocking. For example: "No makeup is unnatural for an urban woman under sixty".
Beauty and grooming are such a large focus of the book's first chapter "Prelude to Charm" and with a whole chapter on "The Visual Side of Charm," one wonders really if charm is better than beauty. However, it can be boiled down to some sense: cleanliness and general inoffensiveness can set the stage for a good interaction.
Read the entire book as a funny bit of history, or jump to "Part Two: What You Do to Others". This second section seems to have weathered the ages a bit better and serves as a good course / reminder on conversation, and social niceties beyond etiquette.
I found myself appreciating just how funny the examples are (though really, I've found myself in a similar boat). The illustrations too are worth a chuckle. Overall, very much like a well-meaning, if slightly silly aunt with lots of opinions and good advice who somehow manages to coax laughs and avoid being annoying.
May 11, 2021
Another day, another etiquette book from the 1930s. I like this one because it is largely behavior-focused, as opposed to the numerous charm books that spend a lot of time stressing the importance one’s outward appearance. Sure, it helps to be presentable (and yes, it is covered a bit here) but we all know true beauty comes from within. This little guide is a good reminder that it’s not your job to correct others, to make your feelings known about every topic discussed, or to always be “right.” Behave with integrity always. And help people in awkward social situations, don’t let them flail—be the savior you wish you had when you found yourself in that position!
November 23, 2009
"While beauty makes a first impression, charm lasts a lifetime." A timeless little book that gently guides the reader through dress, conversation, manners, avoiding awkward situations and so much more. I am so glad Chronicle books reprinted this 1938 masterpiece. It's a little dated but worth a read.
July 30, 2009
I'm surprised that although it was first published in 1938, the information in the book is quite applicable to
March 31, 2019
I have a great liking for vintage style guides. They can charm, amuse, and make me shake my head, sometimes in the span of a single sentence.
This was mostly charms, with details that sometimes seem incredibly modern, and sometimes feel hopelessly dated (a lot of references to husbands, and the implication that one does not work after marriage). But mostly it's a chatty little guide to being nice. It seems that people have always believed that, if everyone tried a little bit harder and took a little more care, the world could be nicer and more charming.
And, at it's heart, thats a mood I can get behind.
This was mostly charms, with details that sometimes seem incredibly modern, and sometimes feel hopelessly dated (a lot of references to husbands, and the implication that one does not work after marriage). But mostly it's a chatty little guide to being nice. It seems that people have always believed that, if everyone tried a little bit harder and took a little more care, the world could be nicer and more charming.
And, at it's heart, thats a mood I can get behind.
August 21, 2022
I really liked this book. It is cute on the inside (illustrations) and out (bookcover). The personal yet frank tone in the writing went well with the subject of charm and manners. It can read slightly intimidating, like an older sister who has scorned you for rolling your shoulders in...
Most of the content is totally applicable nowadays. I utilized this book for my own quick personal reminder to be as pleasant in dress, cleanliness and attitude as I can no matter the situation.
Yes, I am a bit of a tomboy at times so charm/ beauty/manner books are good for me. It is a quick read so hard to get mad at it for any faults it has.
☆ My rating is 4.22/5, but giving it 5 stars. ☆
Most of the content is totally applicable nowadays. I utilized this book for my own quick personal reminder to be as pleasant in dress, cleanliness and attitude as I can no matter the situation.
Yes, I am a bit of a tomboy at times so charm/ beauty/manner books are good for me. It is a quick read so hard to get mad at it for any faults it has.
☆ My rating is 4.22/5, but giving it 5 stars. ☆
January 18, 2023
This book was written in 1938 so it’s quite dated in its style and advice, but it’s still an amusing read. There were actually a few helpful things advised: (1) on wearing comfortable shoes, “Your face can’t look serene, your conversation can’t be bright, your personality can’t radiate, if your feet hurt.” (2) on being a good conversationalist, “Keep an open mind and an open eye on what is happening in the world: that’s a sure way to be ‘outgoing.’” (3) on being in unfamiliar social situations, “Remember the spirit of your thank-you’s – that we’re all just a group of human beings trying to live together.”
March 4, 2024
This is a good option for anyone who's interested in etiquette and fashion and that sort of thing — especially if you sometimes need a reminder that whatever trends you see on social media and in the fashion magazines aren’t the end-all-be-all of beauty or charm or social success.
Mini-review at Lone Star on a Lark
Mini-review at Lone Star on a Lark
December 31, 2025
This took me I dont know how long! I would read a page or two every once and a while. But I had to finish it before the new year!
I enjoyed it and its simplistic style. Clearly some things outdated (especially with clothing advice) but I think it holds up well.
Perhaps not the best if you are older and looking for in-depth detailed instructions, but I think its a good starting point for girls in their teens and twenties.
I enjoyed it and its simplistic style. Clearly some things outdated (especially with clothing advice) but I think it holds up well.
Perhaps not the best if you are older and looking for in-depth detailed instructions, but I think its a good starting point for girls in their teens and twenties.
February 2, 2019
This book is over 80 years old. And it is still worth reading. Not all of the advice is applicable, of course -- times do change -- but it is worth reading for the understanding the history at the time and for taking what still works.
May 10, 2021
A book to learn how to create a warm presence
This book is great resource to adapt to different environments and make yourself feel comfortable and others during different occasions
This book is great resource to adapt to different environments and make yourself feel comfortable and others during different occasions
April 30, 2023
This was an amazing piece to read. This would be the beauty standards my grandmother would have followed. She always wore white gloves. Some of todays beauty practices would be frowned upon then. This book is sexist and possibly racist, but an interesting look at social history.
November 4, 2018
Some interesting reflections and reminders about generally pleasant behaviour, a quick and enjoyable light read.
January 3, 2020
I love reading guides from the 1930s and this is a pretty fun one.
April 2, 2020
Things you pick up in quarantine: this 1930s book about charm. Unintentionally (and sometimes intentionally) hilarious and fun to read.
February 27, 2021
Yes it's dated, but it's also actually really useful. If this could be repackaged by the right person for a modern audience it could be a staple manual.
February 6, 2022
A good book on charm.
April 1, 2022
Excellent advice and relevant today. First published in 1938 - some things never change.
April 11, 2022
Loved this, vintage guides are always so charming and fun
December 22, 2022
Super dated, but has some good takes once you're past the appearance section - mainly, be interested in other people and admit what you want/need/don't know.
July 9, 2024
Silly but fun once you realize it is a reprint of a beauty book from the 1930s.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews