More Orgasms Please: Why Female Pleasure Matters

by The Hotbed Collective

A FRANK, FUNNY AND EMPOWERING CELEBRATION OF FEMALE PLEASUREAn orgasm will help you sleep and keep you looking younger, it doesn’t cost money and isn’t a scarce resource. So why is it that, like the pay gap, there is an ‘orgasm gap’ between women and men? The Hotbed Collective began life as a podcast with a mission ‘to make life better one orgasm at a time’. Their debut book, More Orgasms Please is an open, honest and at moments hilarious dive into all aspects of sex for women. It covers feminist porn, body image, menopause and much more. Like the podcast that inspired it, More Orgasms Please is like the best sort of chat between punchy and playful, normalising and educating. It is an eye-opening read that puts women’s bodies and our right to pleasure firmly on the map. Think of it as ‘Couch to 5k’ ... for orgasms.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Sexuality, Audiobook, Adult

329 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2019

Reviews

[Abi · Rating 5 out of 5]

#moreorgasmsplease by @thehotbedcollective is an outstanding book about female pleasure and the sex ed we all should have had. Filled with not only feminist rants (which we all know I love) but also facts and stats to back up their points 💖

Did you know that the shape and size of the clitoris was only discovered by Helen O'Connell in 1998? Spray cheese was invented in 1965 ffs!!! 😱

Not only do they provide us with tips and tricks to improve relationships, body image, confidence, solo and partnered sex, as well as discuss serious issues and how and when to seek help in abusive situations or with medical issues, they also provide us with anecdotes, some laugh out loud funny (and I don't usually laugh aloud when reading) and others heartbreaking. They also include a section of resources, for lots of issues surrounding sex💖

I really enjoyed the humorous narrating style. It felt like I was chatting with a group of best friends again, which I've desperately missed during lockdown 💔

I would 1,000,000% recommend reading this for EVERYONE 😍

@popsugarreading #popsugarreadingchallenge : #abookaboutasubjectyouarepassionateabout ✨

[Katy Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering is the word - explicitly candid yet hilariously entertainingly look at the rarely-discussed area of female pleasure.

First thing - I am about to look up the podcast, now into its second year, having just completed this audiobook. I'd never heard of it, but will be both recommending the book and I suspect the original podcasts to friends.

The title caught my eye on Audible, its an area that probably has interest for every woman, whether we admit it or not. As a student of psychology, this held an extra layer of interest for me: just what does society see as the different between male and female sexual pleasure?

The authors/narrators are excellent in their format and chatty tone. Never dictatorial, dry or condescending, it is basically an elongated podcast episode broken down into chapters, with jokes, euphemisms, roleplays and a huge amount of frank and uplifting talk that means embarrassment goes quickly out of the window and a sense of unity and sisterhood come to the fore.

With facts at their fingertips on who, how and when, sexual pleasure is both normalised and celebrated, we have some illuminating figures on the truth about body parts, their capabilities and anatomies. Some rather alarming statistics on orgasms (or lack of).

The chapters (different and more racy titles in the audio!) are as follows:
- What are orgasms?
- Bad sex
- Clitoris
- Orgasms as a feminist issue
- Sex education
- Self image
- Sexual fantasy
- Oral sex
- Anal sex
- Porn
- Lies in sex
- Kissing
- Hormones
- Pelvic floor
- Long term relationships
- Growing old
- Future of sex
- Resources

It was a varied and very comprehensive look at female sexual queries across the spectrum. And not just for heretosexual women.

From the science of orgasms, biology, the useful information on pelvic floors and how hormones affect us, all the way to some frankly riotous roleplays of customers asking for lube for various sexual scenarios, it was both educational and highly entertaining. I laughed aloud while running and listening along.

The seriousness of sexual abuse isn't shied away from, there is a whole chapter at the end of resources and contacts to be made use of. And the emphasis on safe and comfortable sex is reiterated several times.

The authors don't give it all an omniscient spin, they bring their own sexual history and stories into the mix, though some of their stories of adolescent naivety could make the average woman cringe. Brilliant, honest and a rather universal experience on the whole.

Some very good points are made regarding porn and sexual education (or the lack of a comprehensive and useful one) in schools, and some excellent motivation is offered on allowing yourself to fantasize as you wish, to demand equal pleasure with your partner's, to enjoy sex in a mutually consensual relationship as you see fit, and to not be embarrassed by any of the above, or the body you've been gifted for enjoying it in.

I'll be subtly sounding out friends who might enjoy / benefit from this and taking on board some of the attitudes and advice offered here, as well as subscribing the Hotbed's podcast.

Not just for women, men will gain a lot from listening to this and pondering perspectives and ways forward in their relationships as well. For women, I'd take this as a study guide to making sure you are getting what you can out of whichever world of pleasure you wish to inhabit.

With thanks to Nudge Books for providing a sample Audible copy.

[Janine Cousins · Rating 2 out of 5]

The overall message of the book was good but the narration style was eye-rolling and just a bit lost at times.

I felt it was kess revealing and more skirting around the issues with very little facts and knowledge (which is what I wanted).

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to give a copy of this book to every woman I meet!

[Kieron Botting · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ummmm... sooooo... having met these wonderfully talented ladies once, I embarked naively into this read.

I thought myself of this macho figure just throwing the Collective some support by reading their book on National Orgasm Day.

Fortunately my boundless ignorance bit me on the ass in the best possible way.

As a member of the not so fairer sex reading this wonderful rollercoaster, I happened to find this book enjoyable, enlightening, eye openingly laugh out loud at times.

It’s equally as wild as one or two of their podcasts that a friend tells me they they listened to. 👀

I highly encourage anyone to read this superbly inclusive book and in addition, should the girls seek a crowdfunding campaign in which they source the monies to produce the movie “Champion Diver”... get involved. It sounds sex positively brilliant!

[Sarah M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re looking for another empowering read, this one is definitely worth taking a look at. It’s funny, informative and empowering as hell. 👏🏼

[Briar Wyatt]

I am simply not the target audience of this book, or at least I feel like I’ve read this on a deeper level before many times. Idk, I think the orgasm gap is a genuine and real issue of equity but I am more interested in theory and understanding how we can structurally change that than a how-to guide (of sorts). Not for me, but I can see value for younger women or men!

[Bea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Covers very important and interesting topics, I just really didn’t like the writing style.

Also there’s a typo on page 322.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

More Orgasms Please is probably a book that I would not have come across had it not recently come up on my Instagram feed. And as a guy, I can safely say it is not one that most of us would talk about buying with people we know or walk up to a count and buy in a book store. And honestly, I'm not sure why this is. Do we in fact inherently feel so embarrassed about buying such a book? is it now so ingrained in who we are that the thought of giving a woman genuine pleasure is something to be ashamed about? It takes me back to that manliest of shows the Sopranos where Jr is terrified that if the others find out he has been going down on his girlfriend he will get whacked for it. Sometimes you have to sit in amazement at how far we have come yet we still fail to have a balanced sex life. But it is also not too hard to see when somewhere along the line the very words we use when we talk about sex have moved far more to the violent side of things. I wonder if this is a direct result of the fact most of our education comes from porn we find on the internet. A medium that is become more and more extreme in its content.

Now being English we are far too often know the world over for our reserved attitude to the bedroom and all things related to sex. Now is this still as true as we are lead to believe? Personally I think probably not and more than likely it never was, too many quicky marriages of the past would show us that. But having sex and educating yourself on the many aspects of it are two very different things after all. And here is the crux of the argument being had just because plenty of people are having sex doesn't mean we are doing it well. A bit of education can always help everyone involved. And whilst the sex education I had at school was more than a little basic, it is after reading this apparent that many people at a school level got a great deal less, especially in places like America. Where it seems if a teacher even devoted fifteen minutes to the topic you were ridding above the national curve. So why is it we can talk endlessly about it but yet can't have meaningful conversations about something that most of the planet is doing? Are we still in fact stuck in that puritanical view of the past or is it that women too often are afraid to voice their opinions to the partners and men simply don't care enough to learn how to give orgasms.

So to the matter at hand, the book takes a much more relaxed look at the topic at hand. Gone are the cold scientific facts of a school textbook and videos replaced with a conversion that should be happening not only with yourself but also in bedrooms up and down the land. How is it as grown adults we still find this such a hard topic to talk about. When you sit down and truly think about it, it is such a silly thing to get hooked upon. Especially when the subject of men getting off can be found in most aspects of life. Just trying typing any word plus the word porn into the internet and look what comes up. But this is why books such as this are so very important, they act as a jumping-off point to start these talks that should be happening. It takes away some of the stigmas that are tangled up in the idea of the female orgasm. After all, is the whole joy in sex not greatly improved when all that are taking part are having as much fun as possible. Do we not in fact owe it to our self to stop acting like giggling shy teenagers at the back of the class and say you know what this part isn't really working for me but I really enjoyed it when you did that, or I read about this way of doing it and I would really like to try it tonight.

For me, the way in which the book is presented makes it accessible for pretty much anyone to get involved. Whilst there is humor to be found here, all the points they are trying to get across are backed up by data from various places across the world. It would also be worth pointing out that it helps a great deal, that much of this research is now being done by women who unsparingly have much more invested in the findings than their previous male colleague. Let's be honest many of them believed for the longest time that the vagina was merely an inside-out defective penis. Surely being able to give your partner regular and constantly good orgasm leads to a much healthier and happier relationship? So this is where it all comes to a point, why are we not talking about this as openly as other aspects of sex. Is it really such a bad one to have. And for men do we really find ourselves so lacking and ego-driven that if we can give her to climax by penetration alone we feel less of a man. It is better not to do it at all than admit some kind of weird defeat. Seriously what is so broken in us that that seems like the most logical conclusion.

For me, I think this is a book that can help so many women and indeed man comes to better understand when is need from them to achieve more harmony in not only their sex lives with others but also when it comes to those all too brief moment you carve out for some self-love. It comes down to this, sex education is something we can all benefit from no matter at sixteen or fifty-six. It shouldn't be something that is taken about in hushed tones and all too often not with the person you should really be having it with. So whether you read this on your own or together with whoever you choose to bring into your bed I fail to see how you won't pick up a few things that won't improve your sex life. It can also work as a giant jumping-off point for more fun exploration. Just remember if your both enjoying your selves it's a win-win situation.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a solid 3.5 stars for me. I struggled with the chatty tone but recognise that it makes the info a bit more accessible.

[Loes de Vries · Rating 5 out of 5]

More Orgasms? YES PLEASE

Dit is misschien niet je eerste boekkeuze als je in de winkel staat, maar pls ga het lezen. De taboo rondom seks, speciaal bij vrouwen is te groot en onnodig. Het boek is in een grappige, super toegankelijke schrijfstijl geschreven door de dames van Hotbed Collective. Female pleasure matters! en that is right! In het boek worden meerdere onderwerpen rondom sex, orgasmes, hormones en andere female body parts besproken. Het is zooo belangrijk als vrouw om voor je eigen pleasures te zorgen. En wat helpt daarbij: het bespreekbaar maken met je partner, je positieve gedachtes en some tips and tricks. Dit boek leert je dingen, die je zelf nog niet over je lichaam wist. Het is interessant als je single bent of een partner hebt, of je jong of oud bent. Ik waardeer de persoonlijke stories, dit geeft echt aan dat je niet alleen bent in sommige dingen en over de menopause en je sekslust is misschien nu nog niet relevant (age 24), maar oprecht interessant om over te lezen.

Persoonlijk kon ik het boek niet heel snel uitlezen, na twee hoofdstukken had ik een beetje teveel over seks en orgasmes gelezen. Maar het had toch ook wel iets spannends dat ik het boek in de trein las. Stiekem voelde ik me betrapt, maar waarom? Vrouwelijke orgasmes en het belang hiervan zou met iedereen besproken moeten worden. En nu ik het uit heb, wil ik het met liefde aan iedereen uitlenen. Want wie wilt er nou niet "more orgasms". side note: super interessant om dit boek door je partner te laten lezen (in ieder geval sommige hoofdstukken).

[Bryony Indecisive Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

“An orgasm will help you sleep and keep you looking younger, it doesn’t cost money and isn’t a scarce resource. So why is it that, like the pay gap, there is an ‘orgasm gap’ between women and men?”

Instead of *just* reading about romances this February, I thought I’d read some specifically sexy romances 😳 what better to add to the rotation than this.

This was a really interesting book that shares information about sex (specifically sex for women) in a really easy and accessible manner. It wasn’t difficult to read and didn’t try to make you feel stupid for not knowing everything - in fact, it celebrated the fact that we might not know everything but now have the opportunity to learn.
I love how it combined anecdotes with information and statistics from 1000+ women.
Even if it might not contain loads of information you didn’t already know, there will certainly be some. It’s also a really easy way to prompt a conversation - be that with a friend (about embarrassing or bad sexual encounters) or a partner (about what you want more of or maybe what you want to try).

[starryboy · Rating 4 out of 5]

"And remember, on your deathbed you'll never regret the fact that you had too many orgasms."

"The more we know about our bodies, the more we know what gives us sexual satisfaction, what is and what isn't right for us: we can express ourselves, speak out and, ultimately, enjoy life and all the stomach-jiggling, eye-opening and awe-inspiring experiences our body has to offer."

Being a trans man who already didn't receive much sex education besides PE class and AO3 in highschool, this book was really educational. I learnt a crazy lot of new information about my body and how pleasure works (pictures were definitely taken to apply their tips and tricks). One of the best things I learnt was that the clit is in fact NOT just the bean 🫛 So that's a sneak peek into the topics discussed. Highly recommend if you want to learn more about your body or partners body, anything vagina related.

[Abi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this for my dissertation research. I think I am the wrong audience for this book, as I think it is aimed at an older demographic. Despite that, they do address issues relevant to younger people too, but nothing that I didn't already know, as I have done a lot of research into this kind of thing for my dissertation already. Might be a good place to start if you're new to the subject matter, but wouldn't be my first recommendation. It is written very informally, so if reading a non-fiction book is overwhelming, this is more like listening to a podcast, as that is what The Hotbed Collective is originally, so might be a first step into non-fiction books.

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

More Orgasms Please was a great book that took so much of the shame out of talking about female pleasure and the clitoris and female orgasms. Informative, feminist and genuinely fun to read. Drawing on their own experiences and literal statistical data that they collected, The Hotbed Collective are able to define the orgasm gap, how things like the male gaze and body image feeds into it, and genuinely gave hope to generations from the teens to those (not quite as glam) Helen Mirrens on how to not only ask but demand what they want and need and take back their pleasure into their own hands (literally)!

[Holly (honestly.holly) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

What a great book! Loved reading this, it was informative but light-hearted and filled with friendly bants. Says in the beginning that it might be a bit cis-normative but it does well to use more generic language when addressing sexual partners at least.

Liked the different features and data, made it more interesting than plain text on the page.
Not sure what would have made it 4.5/5 stars. It just didn't feel like a five star read to me. Maybe more info/data on transgender orgasms and more detail on the science bits.

[SUBASHINI · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could not recommend this book more for women (or anyone else on the spectrum), especially if you have a vagina, but even if you don’t. There’s so much we are not thought, about ourselves, our bodies, and pleasure. This book made me feel so at ease learning about something that I found so intimidating. It’s like a hug from your big sisters who are telling you it’s going to be okay, even amazing, while keeping things real and going into all the details we need. Nothing abstract about the advice given in this book, and that’s exactly what we need.

[Iga · Rating 4 out of 5]

Potrzebowałam trochę feminizmu i umoralnienia po książce, którą przeczytałam wcześniej🥹
Ogólnie bardzo fajnie się czytało, nie miałam co do tej książki żadnych oczekiwań i nawet nie wiedziałam dokładnie o czym jest, ale w sumie bardzo prosta wiedza🫣 myślałam, że skoro książka trochę treści ma to będzie tam jakaś „trudniejsza” wiedza, a właściwie to o większości czytałam już kilkukrotnie w różnych artykułach. Przez brak oczekiwań, raczej się nie zawiodłam i bardzo przyjemnie się to czytało aczkolwiek mam lekki niedosyt

[Annie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly ive hated it. The book makes some good points, The beginning was ok, but 200 pages into the book I came to the conclusion that I don’t think I ever read something more depressing. This made me absolutely loose hope for the future and simultaneously crushed all my dreams. All in all don’t recommend, especially if you are like me in your early twenties and don’t feel like ruining your mood for the week

[Jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I were new to the topic, it would probably be more like 4*, but there wasn't that much new information for me (+ it was UK centred, which is not a problem but worth mentioning). Also, I feel that because it was written by podcasters/based on a podcast, some chapters are kind of superficial (like, that's all we have time for, see you next week with another episode ...). But it was definitely worth a read, timely topic and I am going check out that podcast as well.

[Ana Grau · Rating 3 out of 5]

There should be more educational and honest book like that. It's refreshing to read about female sexuality covering examples of different types of women, ages and situations.

I learn but I also enjoyed. Anniki and Lisa use her experiences to give some humor and normalize sex.

I found myself asking why I didn't read something like this when I was a teenager...

[Marta · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think everyone one should read this book. However, it can be jarring to listen - lots of shouting and volume changes makes it hard to enjoy - I had to listen to it at low volume because the unexpected exclamations that would just make me flinch and shudder. Not recommended for people with hearing sensitivity

[Francesca Marchetti · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is really empowering. It can and should be read by both men and women. The only flaw is that there could be more about young women and women not in long term relationships. Thank you for opening up the conversation!

[William Yip · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was incorrect wording here and there. There was not much I learned and there was not a lot of content regarding anatomy and physiology. That said, I did appreciate the authors' enthusiasm for the subject and they were correct about how important having positive body image is.

[Klaudia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wiedza dla początkujących, do tego dla mnie podana w zbyt luźny sposób - wolę poważniejsze i bardziej naukowe publikacje. Ta jest zbyt luźna, chaotyczna, nudna, do kartkowania. Dodatkowa gwiazdka za próby popularyzacji wiedzy.

[Jessica Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an empowering book! I loved reading it thoroughly!

Their writing style is amazing and has definitely wanted me to check out The Hotbed now as I’d never heard of it. I hope one day they write another book!

[Francesca Vulneratus · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE IT! 🩷 Więcej takich książek dla kobiet, mężczyzn, dla młodszych i starszych. Świetne podejście do tematu seksualności, fantazji, długoletnich związków, krótkich przygód, a przede wszystkim do wyjątkowej części kobiecego ciała. Czytając tę książkę czułam, jakbym siedziała z przyjaciółką na kawie w domowym zaciszu. Bezpiecznie i komfortowo 👏🏼

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

well written and informative, covering all sorts of age-ranges, experiences and differing educational levels. Big fan. will be recommending this to people unprompted and being an annoying feminist about it all

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun book: expansive, funny and relevant.
I shall be sharing it with all my friends.