The Art of Self-kindness

by Rebecca Ray

This book is for you, the one with sensitivity as a super-power, though you're still learning to offer it to yourself.

You, the first to share a kind word with others even when you're not gentle on yourself.

You, known for your generosity but who forgets to give to yourself.

This book is in your hands now because it's time to befriend yourself.

Dr Rebecca Ray is a writer, speaker and clinical psychologist. She invites you into the practice of self-kindness as the bravest of human art forms. Cast aside the bullet-point lists or assembly instructions in favour of self-care that seeks flow over force and progress over prescription. Come on a journey back to yourself through the art of self-kindness.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development

208 pages, Hardcover

Published August 6, 2019

About the author

Dr Rebecca Ray is a clinical psychologist, author and speaker who helps big-picture-thinking people master their psychology. Over the course of two decades of consultations, speaking events, books, and audio, she has encouraged thousands of humans making an impact on the world to live a life that's fulfilling, unapologetic, and free.

Beck’s expertise as a professional zig-zagger sets her apart as one of Australia’s most in-demand and authoritative voices in the personal development space. Her science-backed, hard and heart truth approach is uniquely informed by her pivots from pilot to psychologist, from dating men to marrying a woman, and from being burnt out to bestselling author.

Beck is the author of six books, including Be Happy, The Art of Self-Kindness, The Universe Listens to Brave, Setting Boundaries, Small Habits for a Big Life, and Difficult People (released in May 2023).

She lives in the soul-fed hills of the Sunshine Coast in Queensland with the great loves of her life: her wife Nyssa, son Bennett, two rescue Irish Setters and one gangly Weimaraner.

Reviews

[Krystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ah, yes. This is the kind of hippie book I like; the kind of book that makes my soul sing.

It's nothing to get bogged down by, it's not a challenge or a chore to read, it's just a simple reminder to take a little time to think of yourself every now and then.

It breaks down the practice of self-kindness into several areas for you to focus on, and offers inspiring words and insight into how you can integrate small changes that will help you be kinder to yourself. Don't expect common platitudes - there is honest, practical wisdom here that will have even the most time-poor cynics feeling like this might be something they can get on board with.

Added to the value of the writing is the stunning aesthetic, too: this beautiful little hardcover in shades of white and green (my favourite colour) and filled with elegant designs is rather soothing itself.

This is not just one for my fellow hippies - this is for anyone who recognises they might need a hand in slowing down, for the person who is constantly seeing to the needs of others before their own needs. This is for people who need a gentle reminder that it's okay to be as kind to yourself as you are to those around you.

I think everyone deserves this book, and the message it's sending. I hope you all find the time for its wisdom.

With thanks to the publisher for my ARC

[Candace · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a magnificent little book. It may have even changed my life. I highly recommend you read it, and then pass it on to your sisters, mothers, and girlfriends.

[Chryssie · Rating 5 out of 5]

So lovely! Like receiving a warm and heartfelt hug from a good friend with gentle reminders and beautiful inspiration.

[Nic · Rating 4 out of 5]

To start with, this book is so gorgeous! It’s the cutest little hardback book that will look so perfect sitting on my bookshelf.

I think the concept of this book is so great. Personally I struggle with “self-kindness” all the time. I’m getting better with age and maturity, but I definitely still have times when I have low self-esteem and don’t like myself - either physically or mentally. This book has some beautiful quotes and reminders about caring for yourself. The writing feels like when I’m at a yoga class and the instructor talks in that really calm, soothing voice. Although I did have to get used to this, because I’m a very loud and straight forward sort of person, which is obviously not the vibe of this book!

I read it from beginning to end - but ideally I think it should be read in parts, with a focus on whatever topics are specific to you. For example, for me, the “Self-Talk” chapter resonated with me so much. My internal monologue can be SO negative. Rebecca tells you to imagine telling a close friend about the worries in your life, and imagine what they would say. My friends always say the exact opposite of what I’m thinking - that I’m doing great, that whatever’s worrying me isn’t a huge deal, I’ll pull through etc. This is how I need to talk to myself - like the voice of a friend.

My favourite parts were when Rebecca related the chapters to her own personal experience. It made the concepts a bit more tangible, as without this sometimes they got a bit vague.

Also, I’m in love with the quotes scattered throughout the book. One of my favourites was “Perhaps it’s time to stop and see that you’re actually doing it - this living thing. You are putting one foot in front of the other and doing the best you can. And that’s all you need to do right now.”

If you feel you need to work on your self-kindness (or if you just need a gorgeous book on your shelf), then you need to go check this one out!

[Tahlia C · Rating 3 out of 5]

This certainly has very thoughtful ideas but the gendered language makes it rather inaccessible to anyone who doesn't use she/her pronouns which struck me as odd -- self kindness is for everyone.

[Rachel Brooker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a challenge to read. Read it in a couple of days! A great little book on the art of learning to practise better self care.

[Tamika (Justcosmika) · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Thank you to Pan Macmillan Australia for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review*

I don’t know what kind of voodoo magic this universe is pushing my way but somehow Rebecca Ray’s books seem to find me just when I need them. Her book The Universe Listens to Brave found its way into my hands not long after I was diagnosed with anxiety and it was helpful for me, you can read my full review here. And now while going through some pretty big life ups and downs and trying to find myself anew this book The Art of Self-Kindness found it’s way to me. And let me tell you it did not disappoint!

In-fact I somehow enjoyed this read even more and found it even more helpful than The Universe Listens to Brave. The words, stories and quotes where all so helpful and inspiring and just what I needed to hear to help heal myself and reach my potential again. And its not just the written content that is great in this book. But in fact the whole book is visually stunning inside and out and given I am a green girl I loved this even more than the theme of the last one! All of it, the words, pictures, colours come together to create one heck of a beautiful reading experience.

In conclusion I highly recommend this book! It is stunning inside and out. Rebecca Ray and team have done an incredible job and if you are in need of some inspiration or help to be a bit more kind to yourself then this one is for you. 5 out of 5 stars for sure!

[Lisa Rudden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety since I was 15 years old, I've had two suicide attempts and the most recent occurred as a result of pressures from University and Covid-19's impact on my mental health and well life in general.

After being in a coma and then placed in a respite house to keep me safe, I went in search for whatever I could find on the shelves of my local library, I magically came across this book by Rebecca Ray and was instantly absorbed into the beautiful pages of being kind to oneself. I went back home book in hand and began divulging the depths of self-kindness and how one simple momentary decision to GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK changed my mindset around.

I am completely broke and spent my last few dollars on this book so I could have it next to me on my bedside for safe keeping as I continuously traverse it's artistic and well-collated pages of pure therapeutic revelation.

[Rara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is very deceiving ??? The book title states “How to be you’re own best friend” arts of self kindness. To basically learn and grow. This book was a cute and simple read but not challenging…. I flicked through most pages because I thought I was reading someone else’s life story ?? I didn’t feel accomplished, self motivated or spiritually awoke. Their are a lot of quotes in this book aswell that are just confusing to the title and don’t make sense when you’re reading

[A.M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now I know just to read this on my PC, and not even try the library app, I am prepared... I truly needed some nice, kind words for myself several weeks into the pandemic lockdown and clearly with several more weeks to go.

I shall try harder not to be so self critical.

4 stars

[Samantha Battams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy read and good to dip in and out of!

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful pick me up when you need it ❤️Great to reread over and over again.

[Celeritas2 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Remember when Instagram was good. This is what it was like. The writing is engaging and convincing, the visual pauses to emphasise phrases were great.

[Anita · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best gifts I've given to myself. And have since sent copies to some beautiful friends to remind them of the 'art of self-kindness'.

[Alannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Favourite quote:

“Treat your pas with gentle hands. It’s given you the lessons you needed to be where you are now.”

~pg 88