Story: B. Not bad. Takes plausible sci-fi and real-world geopolitics involving the Chinese Community Party. But predictable, no twists, at times things happen that are implausible (the overall story is plausible; some of the events are implausible). For some reason, at the 96% mark, he introduces theism into the story. No thanks.
Characters: D. There’s no one to root for. Female characters are not at all developed. The male protagonist is a tech bro who values people according to what school they went to and their degrees or their jobs (“… who despite a 158 IQ, was a high school teacher”). A romance develops that is forced and not credible. There is one character who was interesting, the guy who writes code, who is barely in the book.
Writing: Ugh. F. This author has potential but should never write again without an editor. Doesn’t know where commas belong or do not belong; there is a comma mistake on every page (e.g., “After a short wait, DeBerg’s secretary, Emily appeared.”) This causes the reader to leave the story and think about the author, not a good thing.
Also messes up quotation marks in quotes spanning more than one paragraph. Errs on affect vs. effect. Writes “he said” or “she said” before every quote. Imagine this example, not in the book:
“Janet took Jack’s hand and stared wantonly into his eyes. 'Let’s go to the bedroom.'”
vs.
“Janet took Jack’s hand and stared wantonly into his eyes. She said, 'Let’s go into the bedroom.'”
We don’t need it when it’s obvious who is talking and it can ruin the line, as above.
He also included tedious details. Like they go onto the metrorail but, not sure of the fare, each put $5 onto their cards.
And “He pressed the button for the elevator. A few seconds later, he heard the familiar ‘ping’ when it got to his floor.”
And “The phone rang twice before DeBerg’s secretary answered.”
2.5 stars