Out of the Bronx: A Memoir

by Irene Sardanis

Irene Sardanis was born into a Greek family in the Bronx in the 1940s in which fear and peril hovered. Her mother had come to New York for an arranged marriage. Her father drank, gambled, and enjoyed other women—and then, when Irene was eleven, abandoned her family altogether. Faced with their mother’s violent outbursts in the wake of this betrayal, Irene’s older siblings found a way out, but Irene was trapped, hostage to her mother’s rage and despair. When she finally escaped her mother as a young adult, she married a neighbor, also Greek, who controlled and dominated her just like her mother always had.

But Irene wasn’t ready to let her story end there. With therapy, she eventually found the courage to leave her husband and pursue her own dreams. Out of the Bronx is her story of coming to terms with the mother and past that terrified and paralyzed her for far too long—and of how she went on to create a new life free of those fears.

Genres: Memoir

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 14, 2019

Reviews

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone who struggles to overcome challenges, whether familial or personal, this memoir about a tender young girl growing up in an immigrant family in the Bronx is for you. Insightful, well-written, and full of emotion, Sardanis inspires hope while writing the bitter truth. So far, my favorite read in 2020!

[Heidi Daniele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Out of the Bronx reveals the sad truth about how a parent’s depression may have life long effects on their children. Irene Sardanis openly shares the guilt and shame burdened upon her as a young girl by her immigrant mother. Her memoir reveals the process and outcome of her own courage to break free from her mother’s wrath. Out of the Bronx is not only a story of Sardanis’ personal journey but also that of her mother’s struggle to find happiness in world void of her cultural values.

[Alison Lutz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just turned the last page of Out of the Bronx. My stomach is quivering and my eyes are full of tears- I am so, SO grateful to have read this memoir. I love Irene’s fire, her refusal to be held down, and her raw honesty. Beyond describing the heartbreaking reality of child abuse and, later, the dynamics of interpersonal relationship violence, Dr. Sardanis’s story is full of triumph and resilience. Her writing gives me strength and hope that the human spirit cannot be defeated, even under the most challenging circumstances. This book demonstrates that it’s possible to write about even the deepest trauma in a way that’s nuanced and, ultimately, redemptive. A hard read, but a powerful one. Highly, highly recommend!!

[Shane DM · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here is Irene Sardanis escaping from an abusive childhood, moving through a slew of failed relationships and marriages, to finally, a loving relationship. The most riveting parts of the book, for me, are those involving her mother, who could throw a mean right hook as well as dish out a plethora of emotional abuse. She stalks Irene and catches her in lies, then unleashes physical violence upon her.

But the book kinda loses its verve for me after Irene leaves her mother's home. In fact, the mother pretty much disappears until the very end of the book--the last chapter. As for the ending, I found it anti-climactic and rushed. I wanted more. I wanted more emotion (the book does end with a funeral, after all).

As for the writing, it's fairly simple--too simple at times, ie, choppy and not so smooth. And some of the chapters introduce information that had already been covered in previous chapters. A few more revisions could have made the book more continuous and less jarring.

But don't get me wrong, I loved the story. I can empathize with Irene on her quest for love and belonging. She finally finds it at the end, although I wanted more detail. And I wanted to hear more about her mother (did Irene contact her during all those decades? did the mother ever acknowledge her abusive ways and apologize?). I feel that the mother-daughter relationship is the most important part of the book, but I felt this was deemphasized after Irene moves out.

I applaud Irene for writing this book. I truly enjoyed it. And I learned a few things about Greek culture in the process.

[Kim_reads_it_all · Rating 5 out of 5]

TRIGGER WARNINGS: EMOTIONAL, SEXUAL, VERBAL, PHYSICAL ABUSE.
Mini Spoiler Alert!

Absolutely without a doubt one of my top reads for this year. Ms. Sardanis really poured her entire self into her memoir. Growing up in the Bronx, I felt her and I had many similarities, with both our families and romantic relationships, poverty, self worth, and upbringing. Incredibly impressed that this was her first book, and she's deserving of all the awards she's won. I was in a constant emotional roller coaster. Whenever she felt either fear or rage, I felt it too. Her story is powerful and intense. I'm glad she had her happy ending and didn't let her traumas from her past continue to dictate her life. Though, there were more negative people she came across throughout her life. And yes, people ended up breaking her heart in more ways than one. The system ultimately failed her. She ended up victorious with the help of those who ended up genuinely caring for her.

[Keith Jahans · Rating 4 out of 5]

Irene Sardanis was raised by an abusive mother and the main reason why she wrote this book seems to be to get back at her. She tells how she was brought up by Greek immigrant parents in a poor area of New York with two sisters and one brother. The family was abandoned by their philandering father who remained living in the same neighbourhood but did nothing to provide support. As the youngest child the author was expected to provide support for her mother and accepted this as her duty even though she subjected her to constant abuse. On the surface this seems a depressive book to read but I found the story fascinating. It kept me reading right to the end to see how she could cope with her mother and how she survived to live a successful life.

[Ilene English · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another courageous and heart wrenching story of child abuse is finally out in the open.

This story felt so familiar to me. Besides being from the East Coast, which can feel like being from another planet, I too was the youngest child in a poor family, left alone to care for my unwell and strict mother at a young age. Thankful for the therapist who helps the author separate from her mother and begin to understand that the abuse was never her fault. In the end, the author flourishes both professionally and personally. The lesson that we are much more than what happens to us in our childhood is an important one. Well done!

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read, full of suspense, overcoming adversity and (Greek) delicious food recipes! The author's confidence to recall their most painful life events, rationalizing (in hindsight) and recognizing previous trauma in (conflicted) decision-making, is relatable, fun and humbling.

This book needs a sequel (or prequel) to color in-between the lines from the (bloody) cutting-room floor. The passionate readers want more!!

[audiobook]: Irene read her own book with wit, enthusiasm and raw emotions. Also, the correct pronunciation of Greek things flowed better than (me) trying to read them off the page.

[MaryGayle T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Irene's decision to write about her abusive childhood is beyond inspiring. Each chapter is a separate view into the familial and cultural apathy that allows abuse to happen, and to continue. I was transfixed as I read, waiting to see how she would get through and beyond her early life. The courage to bring that dark side of her life into the light is exactly what will encourage others to break their own silence.

[Linda Ulleseit · Rating 5 out of 5]

This could have been written as a tragic story, especially when she tries to escape a Greek mother by marrying a Greek man, but instead it is poignant and sometimes funny. Out of the Bronx is a well-told story of a woman coming into her own. Highly recommended read.

[Janey · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️