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456 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 15, 2019

“For the past week and a half or so, I’ve been getting texts from an unknown number with ridiculous, almost uninterpretable advice.
Never walk by a pigeon coop with an owl in your pocket.
Don’t shit on your own doorstep.
If you swim with a friend, your chances of getting eaten by a shark go down by 50%.
There is no angry way to say bubbles.
Real bear hugs are usually fatal.
Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.
In case of fire, use the stairs.”
“And my personal favorite came straight from The Godfather.
Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”





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