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Not Speaking
Families are places of love, care, and fun; also of anger, anxiety, and quarrels. Not Speaking tells the story of a Greek matriarch, Rena, and her English children in post-war London and the present. It begins with Rena’s move out of a flat in St John’s Wood owned by her son Nicky Clarke, and the family disagreement that erupted. Moving through the London slums of Blackfriars, Greece under Nazi occupation, the Old Kent Road, Elephant and Castle, and the world of Mayfair hairdressing, this is a tale of enrichment and fame, infidelity and its consequences. And in the end, it has a every family is unique and all families are the same. * 'Wonderfully evocative – funny, illuminating and moving.' Jenny Uglow
293 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 2, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
June 18, 2019
2.5 Stars
Norma Clarke and her 5 siblings (2 sisters and 3 brothers) grew up in a Working Class Anglo-Greek family in Elephant and Castle, London in the post-second world war era. With a volatile Greek mother and a hard working, mostly silent father. They were a fairly typical family of the time - loud, close and living close to her Father's relatives. The boys were almost worshipped when they came along, particularly by their mother, and the girls were expected to become "little mothers" to the younger children. The only difference is that in their number were an English Professor (the author), a successful hairdresser (brother Michael) and a celebrity hairdresser (brother Nicky). Not Speaking aims to tell their story, particularly following a large scale 2014 email argument regarding their widowed mother's living arrangements.
In an attempt to explain the dynamics of her family Ms Clarke treats us to several lessons along the way. We get a very long section about Greek Mythology, centred largely around Homer's Iliad and seems to be using this epic poem to show attitudes towards women in their family. We also get treated to lesser treatises on the lives of a couple of writers who settled briefly in Greece and also little bits of Robert Browning for good measure. We do seem to keep returning to the Iliad though.
The above was a problem for this reader. I picked the book up anticipating a family memoir that just so happened to have a couple of people we, the general populace, has heard of. A family much like one we may ourselves have come from with all it's passion and insecurities. Like it or not nurture does have a huge impact on our personalities and there is a personal comfort in finding out that maybe your family wasn't quite as messed up as you thought. Unfortunately, these digressions in to Academia (the writing is such that much of the digressions for the tale of the Clarke family read more like a lecture hall declamation) stall the family story and did cause me to lose interest in the book.
There is a reasonable blend of early years thrown in but these seem to be mainly interspersed with tales of the fall out from the email argument and centre mainly around Nicky refusing to speak to various members of his family. Initially you get the feeling that there is a resentment of Nicky's largesses, his freely given material support to the family, the holidays he funds, the events he gives them access to. So that when he asks for the siblings to help him get their mother to downsize and to chip in for he exorbitant rent in a new flat it opens a schism within the family. I actually came away feeling that he had been somewhat demonised by his family because he needed to make an economic decision. Obviously, more was not told than was and some of the underlying frictions that built up over 50 years are still lying ignored.
The sections dealing with their parents relationship are interesting and written with a curiously detached voice. The brief history of Greece in the Second World War is interesting, especially as this is how Mr Greece met his war bride. There is also a little bit of a family skeleton revealing regarding the author's paternal grandparents, much of which she readily admits she has been unable to verify. Mostly it is about their resolutely Greek mother, her foibles and her complete control of her children, even well in to their adulthood.
Had the author stuck to the memoir this would have been a far more enthralling read. However, there is far too much of the "other" about the book. If I want to read about the personal lives of George Sands, or read about different translations of the Iliad or the Odyssey, I will search out books on these topics. Sure, if the author thinks they are important to the tale and her perspective on how things unfolded and maybe even why they unfolded then sure, mention them and maybe put in a appendix so anyone with interest in knowing more can use that to delve deeper. Instead you have to wade through rather dry academic sections to return to the story we were hoping to read.
This was not one for me. Admittedly I don't often read memoirs as the ones that make it to print often do so because there is some tragedy or distressing pivotal event that made the Publisher think it was worth something. Occassionally there will be one that catches my eye and they can be a thing of beauty. Regrettably I found that this one fell very short of what makes a good memoir for this reader.
THIS IS AN HONEST AND UNBIASED REVIEW OF A FREE COPY OF THE BOOK RECEIVED VIA THE PIGEONHOLE.
Norma Clarke and her 5 siblings (2 sisters and 3 brothers) grew up in a Working Class Anglo-Greek family in Elephant and Castle, London in the post-second world war era. With a volatile Greek mother and a hard working, mostly silent father. They were a fairly typical family of the time - loud, close and living close to her Father's relatives. The boys were almost worshipped when they came along, particularly by their mother, and the girls were expected to become "little mothers" to the younger children. The only difference is that in their number were an English Professor (the author), a successful hairdresser (brother Michael) and a celebrity hairdresser (brother Nicky). Not Speaking aims to tell their story, particularly following a large scale 2014 email argument regarding their widowed mother's living arrangements.
In an attempt to explain the dynamics of her family Ms Clarke treats us to several lessons along the way. We get a very long section about Greek Mythology, centred largely around Homer's Iliad and seems to be using this epic poem to show attitudes towards women in their family. We also get treated to lesser treatises on the lives of a couple of writers who settled briefly in Greece and also little bits of Robert Browning for good measure. We do seem to keep returning to the Iliad though.
The above was a problem for this reader. I picked the book up anticipating a family memoir that just so happened to have a couple of people we, the general populace, has heard of. A family much like one we may ourselves have come from with all it's passion and insecurities. Like it or not nurture does have a huge impact on our personalities and there is a personal comfort in finding out that maybe your family wasn't quite as messed up as you thought. Unfortunately, these digressions in to Academia (the writing is such that much of the digressions for the tale of the Clarke family read more like a lecture hall declamation) stall the family story and did cause me to lose interest in the book.
There is a reasonable blend of early years thrown in but these seem to be mainly interspersed with tales of the fall out from the email argument and centre mainly around Nicky refusing to speak to various members of his family. Initially you get the feeling that there is a resentment of Nicky's largesses, his freely given material support to the family, the holidays he funds, the events he gives them access to. So that when he asks for the siblings to help him get their mother to downsize and to chip in for he exorbitant rent in a new flat it opens a schism within the family. I actually came away feeling that he had been somewhat demonised by his family because he needed to make an economic decision. Obviously, more was not told than was and some of the underlying frictions that built up over 50 years are still lying ignored.
The sections dealing with their parents relationship are interesting and written with a curiously detached voice. The brief history of Greece in the Second World War is interesting, especially as this is how Mr Greece met his war bride. There is also a little bit of a family skeleton revealing regarding the author's paternal grandparents, much of which she readily admits she has been unable to verify. Mostly it is about their resolutely Greek mother, her foibles and her complete control of her children, even well in to their adulthood.
Had the author stuck to the memoir this would have been a far more enthralling read. However, there is far too much of the "other" about the book. If I want to read about the personal lives of George Sands, or read about different translations of the Iliad or the Odyssey, I will search out books on these topics. Sure, if the author thinks they are important to the tale and her perspective on how things unfolded and maybe even why they unfolded then sure, mention them and maybe put in a appendix so anyone with interest in knowing more can use that to delve deeper. Instead you have to wade through rather dry academic sections to return to the story we were hoping to read.
This was not one for me. Admittedly I don't often read memoirs as the ones that make it to print often do so because there is some tragedy or distressing pivotal event that made the Publisher think it was worth something. Occassionally there will be one that catches my eye and they can be a thing of beauty. Regrettably I found that this one fell very short of what makes a good memoir for this reader.
THIS IS AN HONEST AND UNBIASED REVIEW OF A FREE COPY OF THE BOOK RECEIVED VIA THE PIGEONHOLE.
June 18, 2019
Not Speaking is an absolute fascinating read. Part memoir,part sociopolitical commentary, Norma Clarke writes so elegantly. A retired professor herself, I love how she weaves references from Ancient Greek literature about love and relationships whilst giving us a wonderful insight into her family dynamics. Sibling/family relationships make for interesting reading as everyone has skeletons in their closet and all families have disagreements, secrets etc so this book satisfies a natural curiosity about other people’s lives and how each family member interacts with one another. One of her brothers is the famous hairstylist Nicky Clarke but the real star of this book is Rena, their Greek mother. She is a force to be reckoned with, such a fascinating character who has lead such an amazing, interesting life spanning her childhood in Greece, to marrying a British soldier and settling in London and raising a big family. I think the anecdotes about this formidable matriarch are at times hilarious and sad and her daughter has painted such a vivid portrait of her mother that you can’t help falling in love with her! If you love history then you will also appreciate the commentary on what it was like to live in London just after the war. The sections on Greek history and the links to our royal family are also interesting making this a 5 star read for me. Some readers might find the digression from family history into Iliad references/social history distracting but for me it totally added to my reading experience and I did learn a lot too!! I thoroughly recommend.
June 14, 2019
Another great book chosen by The Pigeonhole (seriously, this app is ridiculously addictive). Norma Clarke tells us the story of her family. She grew up in the East End of London, the second eldest of six siblings, in a tiny flat. Her mother and father met in Greece at the end of the Second World War, and Rena came back to England after marrying Bill in Greece, and being able to speak very little English. It must have been really difficult for her.
There’s more to this than a family history though. Norma takes us through some of the social history of East London, Greek mythology (which explains some of her mother’s mindset, I think), and links some of he places she visits to her favourite authors.
It’s just such an interesting book. I wanted to know what happened to all of these people, why they weren’t speaking for one thing! It was truly a delight to read. She writes so descriptively: one minute you can’t believe that her mother can be so blunt and seemingly unfeeling (and therefore I rather disliked her for it), and the next minute, you realise she is as she is, and feel empathy for her. And during all of this, there is the rest of the family. They have their disagreements, yes, but ultimately they are family and they’re always there for one another when they are needed.
I really enjoyed this book. Many thanks to The Pigeonhole, and to Norma Clarke for reading along with us and answering questions.
There’s more to this than a family history though. Norma takes us through some of the social history of East London, Greek mythology (which explains some of her mother’s mindset, I think), and links some of he places she visits to her favourite authors.
It’s just such an interesting book. I wanted to know what happened to all of these people, why they weren’t speaking for one thing! It was truly a delight to read. She writes so descriptively: one minute you can’t believe that her mother can be so blunt and seemingly unfeeling (and therefore I rather disliked her for it), and the next minute, you realise she is as she is, and feel empathy for her. And during all of this, there is the rest of the family. They have their disagreements, yes, but ultimately they are family and they’re always there for one another when they are needed.
I really enjoyed this book. Many thanks to The Pigeonhole, and to Norma Clarke for reading along with us and answering questions.
June 14, 2019
Not Speaking mixes family memoir, with a primary focus on the brothers who had gotten past working class roots to find fame and fortune, with an amazing amount of historical information which provided necessary perspective to the family story. Both elements I quite enjoyed. But then, too, there were the times when the story got derailed by the author’s passion for classical literature, embarking on what veered towards a stream-of-consciousness flow. Now, I get how the life of Robert Graves relates to the story; on the other hand, I’m not quite sure about Homer (other than the Greek connection) and the comparison of the translation of the Iliad by Pope and, more recently, by Peter Green. These are just two examples when the writing lacked order, at least for my OCD tendency.
The author is both participant and observer who, in my opinion, appears to live in her mind a lot. She admits early on that she and her mother were not close as a child or a young adult. So, while she does try to be fair, her father comes off as a stoical, loving, typically English father; her mother is dramatically Greek, even slyly manipulative, and selfish. At the end of it, I simply wanted the book to come to an end so that I could move on. My thanks to the Pigeonhole for the opportunity to read.
The author is both participant and observer who, in my opinion, appears to live in her mind a lot. She admits early on that she and her mother were not close as a child or a young adult. So, while she does try to be fair, her father comes off as a stoical, loving, typically English father; her mother is dramatically Greek, even slyly manipulative, and selfish. At the end of it, I simply wanted the book to come to an end so that I could move on. My thanks to the Pigeonhole for the opportunity to read.
July 11, 2019
Not Speaking is a touching memoir by Norma Clarke, sister of celebrity hairdressers Michael and Nicky Clarke. Based in London, but of Greek heritage on their Mother Rena’s side, the Clarkes are a typical boisterous family of the time, living on top of each other, the kids bicker and fight, and their parents, Rena and Bill are just trying to muddle their way through. We learn that Bill was a British officer stationed in Athens following World War II, where he met and fell for the feisty and obstinate Rena, and before long he’d proposed to her and brought her back to England, specifically London, where they set up home. As the title suggests, things are not always rosy, and when the book is written, there is division in the family following a large argument over the now-widowed Rena’s living arrangements, conducted over email in 2014. This forms the backbone of the story and gives us an insight into the minutiae of siblings and their complex relationships.
As the book progresses, Norma uses long passages of Greek Mythology, Robert Browning and other writers to demonstrate how women within her family were treated, and also to give us an insight into what Rena’s life, and that of others, was like for example, under the Nazi occupation during World War II. Some of it is heavy going, but an important read to anyone who is not already aware of what the Greek people went through. There’s a lot of Homer’s Iliad, a little too much for my liking. While I understand why the author included these sections, even as a huge history fan, it did begin to feel a little like a school lesson for me, and to be honest I got a little distracted from the original memoir, and on a few occasions, I’m sorry to say – even a little bored.
That said, the memoir aspect was interesting and I felt as though I really got to know the characters, though I wonder how much of that was down to the fact that Michael and Nicky Clarke are fairly well known, at least in the celebrity hairdressing world (although personally, I knew of Nicky but I didn’t know of Michael). The main character is the matriarch Rena, and while she is entertaining, I found her to be quite selfish and self-obsessed, especially in the parts of the book that dealt with Louki. I felt for Norma, the daughter who can never do right and for Bill, the husband who I suspect didn’t know what he was really letting himself in for with his Greek bride. I liked the thread of family that ran through the whole memoir, but if it didn’t have that ‘celebrity’ hook to hang on, I’m not sure what the USP of this book would be.
An interesting and well-written memoir.
As the book progresses, Norma uses long passages of Greek Mythology, Robert Browning and other writers to demonstrate how women within her family were treated, and also to give us an insight into what Rena’s life, and that of others, was like for example, under the Nazi occupation during World War II. Some of it is heavy going, but an important read to anyone who is not already aware of what the Greek people went through. There’s a lot of Homer’s Iliad, a little too much for my liking. While I understand why the author included these sections, even as a huge history fan, it did begin to feel a little like a school lesson for me, and to be honest I got a little distracted from the original memoir, and on a few occasions, I’m sorry to say – even a little bored.
That said, the memoir aspect was interesting and I felt as though I really got to know the characters, though I wonder how much of that was down to the fact that Michael and Nicky Clarke are fairly well known, at least in the celebrity hairdressing world (although personally, I knew of Nicky but I didn’t know of Michael). The main character is the matriarch Rena, and while she is entertaining, I found her to be quite selfish and self-obsessed, especially in the parts of the book that dealt with Louki. I felt for Norma, the daughter who can never do right and for Bill, the husband who I suspect didn’t know what he was really letting himself in for with his Greek bride. I liked the thread of family that ran through the whole memoir, but if it didn’t have that ‘celebrity’ hook to hang on, I’m not sure what the USP of this book would be.
An interesting and well-written memoir.
June 15, 2019
When I chose to read ‘Not Speaking’ via the Pigeonhole app I hadn’t realised who it was about or, in fact, that it was a memoir. I have to admit that I’m not a big fan of memoirs. However, I did actually enjoy this one. It’s about celebrity hairdresser Nicky Clarke and his family. It turned out to be a captivating and engaging read, combining some Greek history and classical literature with details of a working class upbringing in London and a rise to fame!
It’s a beautifully written book and a fascinating insight into one particular family. Rena, Nicky Clarke’s Greek mother, is very much the backbone and would appear to be a force to be reckoned with. My opinion of her changed a few times during the course of this memoir but I think by the end, I did actually like and admire her. I found the historical aspect about Greece during the war and civil war interesting, but the parts concerning classical literature did lose me a little. I’m sure those who enjoy non-fiction and memoirs would love this one as there is much to be learnt through reading it. “All families are the same and each family is unique” - I think that says it all!
It’s a beautifully written book and a fascinating insight into one particular family. Rena, Nicky Clarke’s Greek mother, is very much the backbone and would appear to be a force to be reckoned with. My opinion of her changed a few times during the course of this memoir but I think by the end, I did actually like and admire her. I found the historical aspect about Greece during the war and civil war interesting, but the parts concerning classical literature did lose me a little. I’m sure those who enjoy non-fiction and memoirs would love this one as there is much to be learnt through reading it. “All families are the same and each family is unique” - I think that says it all!
June 14, 2019
A beautifully written memoir of an Anglo Greek working class family living in London which just happens to have famous hair stylist brothers Nicky and Michael Clarke. Through the book we learn the story of feisty Rena the Greek matriarch of the family and the rivalry and quarrels of the six siblings which result in the Not Speaking of the title. The humour in the book is just lovely and I also enjoyed the view back into the London of Norma Clarke’s paternal ancestors living in the poorest areas of the city.
The book is interspersed with historical material on the life of Robert Graves and Greek mythology, and while I understand why it is there, it does divert the main flow of the family story and the amount of detail was perhaps unnecessary.
Everyone will enjoy this view inside a unique and vibrant household and find something that rings true of their own family.
The book is interspersed with historical material on the life of Robert Graves and Greek mythology, and while I understand why it is there, it does divert the main flow of the family story and the amount of detail was perhaps unnecessary.
Everyone will enjoy this view inside a unique and vibrant household and find something that rings true of their own family.
May 8, 2019
This is a wonderful memoir, telling the story of the author's eccentric and colourful Anglo-Greek family including her two famous hairdresser brothers, Nicky and Michael Clarke, but centred on her wonderful mother and her rich life. Erudite and entertaining at the same time, the tale takes the reader from South London to Majorca, Greece to St John's Wood via funny, touching and ultimately very moving family stories - highly recommended!
July 7, 2019
I read this book thanks to The Pigeonhole but there were times when I wanted to give up on it. The Memoir part at the beginning was mainly a collection of family gossip and I found it rather boring. I could relate to Greek family life and history because of my own Greek connections, but disliked the comparisons with Homer and the like. I found the style difficult to read. It's not a book I'd like to have on my bookshelf.
June 14, 2019
This tale is more than a memoir. It encompasses academic knowledge that fits the story very well. The characters are described eith much honesty, it seems. Rena, the author's mother is one of my favourite characters of the book. She might be a not easy person to live with, but her comments have made me smile all through the tale! Excellently written, there is not one boring line!
June 15, 2019
Enjoyed this book enormously.I enjoy a biography and history. This was a good story well told and has themes common to many other families. I'm not sure I really warmed to the main character ,she reminded me of some of the female family members in my childhood who I liked well enough at the time but realise in hindsight had a self-serving streak at their core
June 19, 2019
I read this book via Pigeonhole and thought it was a family memoir about Nicky and Michael Clarke, written by their sister. The literary references throughout the story seemed superfluous to a family story. Whilst I appreciate that was who Norma Clarke is; a literary scholar, it seemed irrelevant to the family saga.
In my humble opinion.
In my humble opinion.
May 31, 2020
It claims to be a family memoir, whilst partly true, there are so many tangents of Greek mythology and potted biogs of characters such as Robert Graves and George Sands. None of which interested me in the slightest and I abandoned the book at 40%
June 19, 2019
Excellent! Highly recommended.
December 27, 2019
A powerful story that made me more aware of how we think about and relate to our families. Funny, subtle, and poignant.
June 13, 2019
This book has been described as a memoir but it is, in my opinion, three books in one: a memoir, a historical novel; a tale of a family that many will relate to.
I knew nothing of the Clarke family about whom this novel centres. Interest in them will stem predominantly from brother Nicky, a generous, talented, avant-garde celebrity hairstylist to the hip and happening in London. To a lesser extent, people who thrive on knowing about the rich and famous, major and minor celebrities, will enjoy hearing about the tiffs and squabbles between all the siblings (Nicky, Michael, Paul, Linda, Tina, Norma) and the behaviour of their parents Bill (English) and domineering, shrewd matriarch Rena (Greek).
Author and Professor Norma Clarke is a knowledgeable historian and her penmanship is astonishingly good. As one of the three daughters in a Greek/English household where females were clearly viewed as less than their male counterparts, she has put together, along with a historical timeline, the story of how their mother Rena met and married her father Bill, a British officer stationed in Athens and returned with him to England. He spoke no Greek and her grasp of English was practically non-existent. The basis of their relationship makes for a tale of love, anger, infidelity, and fame through their son Nicky who was awarded an OBE. The story plays out in London where they reside and includes snippets of their holidays abroad in Majorca, with references to the old days in Greece under the Nazis. The London part includes a number of properties and moves and all that goes with renting, purchasing and packing up and moving tables that are too big, way too many tallboys and of course saintly icons.
The most enjoyable part of this read for me, beyond admiring the exceptional writing, was that as much as this is the story of a somewhat famous family, it is really the tale of most families. Bickering, favouritism, money-issues, fame, competitiveness, blame, self-centredness and memories that are revealed from the perspective of the individual ‘speaking or not’ as the case may be. It reaffirmed many things. A family is like a hand with each digit making it up, being different. Sibling rivalry has and will continue to flourish and parents though not expected to be perfect, can contribute to or contaminate the cohesiveness of the family unit, best summarised in these lines “We know who we are by finding out about our families. ‘Not Speaking’ is the title of this book in acknowledgement of the pressures that exist and the taboos that remain. It also carries the meaning 'not on speaking terms’ a state of affairs very common in families. Mostly it signifies 'that which is unspoken...'
I knew nothing of the Clarke family about whom this novel centres. Interest in them will stem predominantly from brother Nicky, a generous, talented, avant-garde celebrity hairstylist to the hip and happening in London. To a lesser extent, people who thrive on knowing about the rich and famous, major and minor celebrities, will enjoy hearing about the tiffs and squabbles between all the siblings (Nicky, Michael, Paul, Linda, Tina, Norma) and the behaviour of their parents Bill (English) and domineering, shrewd matriarch Rena (Greek).
Author and Professor Norma Clarke is a knowledgeable historian and her penmanship is astonishingly good. As one of the three daughters in a Greek/English household where females were clearly viewed as less than their male counterparts, she has put together, along with a historical timeline, the story of how their mother Rena met and married her father Bill, a British officer stationed in Athens and returned with him to England. He spoke no Greek and her grasp of English was practically non-existent. The basis of their relationship makes for a tale of love, anger, infidelity, and fame through their son Nicky who was awarded an OBE. The story plays out in London where they reside and includes snippets of their holidays abroad in Majorca, with references to the old days in Greece under the Nazis. The London part includes a number of properties and moves and all that goes with renting, purchasing and packing up and moving tables that are too big, way too many tallboys and of course saintly icons.
The most enjoyable part of this read for me, beyond admiring the exceptional writing, was that as much as this is the story of a somewhat famous family, it is really the tale of most families. Bickering, favouritism, money-issues, fame, competitiveness, blame, self-centredness and memories that are revealed from the perspective of the individual ‘speaking or not’ as the case may be. It reaffirmed many things. A family is like a hand with each digit making it up, being different. Sibling rivalry has and will continue to flourish and parents though not expected to be perfect, can contribute to or contaminate the cohesiveness of the family unit, best summarised in these lines “We know who we are by finding out about our families. ‘Not Speaking’ is the title of this book in acknowledgement of the pressures that exist and the taboos that remain. It also carries the meaning 'not on speaking terms’ a state of affairs very common in families. Mostly it signifies 'that which is unspoken...'
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