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181 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 17, 2019
I found many parallels here to my own thinking. I can easily relate being a parent. Imani Perry uses delicate cultured prose to write to her two sons, and in the process manages to give them family history, her hopes, desires, dreams and even her fears as they navigate this thing called life. What ends up between the pages is a beautiful document of stressing their worth and how to hold onto that and always see themselves, even when others may refuse not too.
Although this is a slim volume, the punch and impact are huge and wide enough to encompass and inspire all readers. You don’t have to be a parent to understand the notability of what Ms. Perry is expressing here. She is showing vulnerability and managing to keep honesty as a constant and consistent presence on the page. She knows the power of America to devour Black children and specifically Black boys of which she has two.
“…..you are Black in America, which means rage is your familiar, even if you haven’t called it that yet. What I mean is, by virtue of where you live and go to school, and the possibility and comfort that are so often in your reach, you are not up close to the full weight of what Black life in America often is.”
I found myself just highlighting an abundance of her sentences, as I’m certain most readers will do the same. The quality of this book is worthy of a warm embrace and space on your bookshelf. It is a book you will return to often, in search of eloquent ways to phrase a sentence or to express an idea you are having trouble putting in writing.
“And yet, you cannot rely on certain expectations as Black people. You cannot say to yourself: If I do A, B, and C, then D will happen. It just doesn’t work that way. What you put in may not have its just reward. But maybe it will. So, you have to have an inside thermometer, or better yet a barometer, of who you want to be and how well you are doing. Am I running hot or cold? Or am I in my pocket? In my bag? In my feelings? You already have it; it is the headstrong thing that sometimes puts people off. It is your necessary armor.”
The rearing of children is no easy task, and when you have to deliver the harsh truths, it is that much more difficult. I share her conclusion for what is included in a good life, “Some leisure. Nourishment, adequate rest. A sense of purpose, which is a wildly variant thing, thank God. I want you to understand that is more than enough. It is everything. And yet, and of course this is easier for me to teach, I also want you to keep your vast imaginations, be wanderlustful for life. Passion is my preferred disposition, under a placid surface. Be hungry.” Indeed, be hungry for great books, and this one will satiate your appetite.
There are fingers itching to have a reason to cage or even slaughter you. My God, what hate for beauty this world breeds. They say they are afraid. I do not believe it is fear. It is bloodlust
No matter how "just so" I have tried, and often failed, to make things, I have known from the very first day of each of your lives that I cannot guarantee your safety. That is what the voyeurs want to drink in. That is why they make me so mad...Because the truth is it is frightening..
The routes have always been rough. West Africa to Barbados to South Carolina. Maryland to Alabama. To Chicago from Mississippi. By boat, by train, by foot, each time an unsteady cruelty. You, revenant, must learn to possess an impeccable balance. Claim your earth as you see fit and ride above it
I had a habit of talking about my sons on social media. I have also written them letters since they were infants. ... I could have also written one to the kind of children I don't have: girls. ... Maybe with more words about not letting yourself be eaten up by love. Or maybe a child who rejects categories wholly? I could have written to them instead, and in truth the lessons would be virtually the same.Looked at (or felt) another way, Perry could easily be writing to anyone with a heart to listen. Even though she is at times specifically instructing her two boys on wise ways to face the world as they grow up Black, she is also imparting learned lessons re: how *anyone* can best 'combat' a too-often hostile world.
What would the complete dissembling of the kingdom of identity look like? How would the viscera pulse under a cracked open surface? Would we all shatter? Could we put something together again? I don't know. I am losing some of my ability to dream a world.
Auntie Simone once asked me, "What are your politics?" That was many years ago. I answered, "Poor people." It was an awkward answer. But that is at the center. I think poverty is the product of an evil way of being, of hoarding and depriving. And it is part of a web. The history of conquest is a scourge of the human condition.
I live for the life of the mind and heart. ... The fact is that I don't want to fit in at all. I want to continue in the strangeness that allows me to discover myself and others.As well, the book contains interesting little known facts:
George Washington's false teeth were not wood, as you may have heard. They were actually made from a variety of materials, including Black humans' teeth. The father of our country stole our teeth. Our bite. Think about that.Periodically, Perry reminds us that she is presenting herself flaws and all. When she talks about certain 'scuffles' with her sons or normal parent/child disconnects, she is also quick to assert that the bond is quantifiably in place.
mostly silent except for when the spirit moves. It is a faith ritual that is typically untethered from doctrine beyond a belief that God is in everyone and in the virtue of peace.Perry doesn't explain much about the Quakers beyond that. I'm not a churchgoer. But I like the idea of a group gathered together in silence, with the idea of being quiet for a set period of time; to let the Spirit move and to replenish without the need of words. I could almost be convinced to attend that kind of 'church'.