“I see you still have enough spirit to glare at me. Use that to survive! Live through this and get yourself out! And then, I’ll hunt you down if I have to chase you to the ends of the earth! Don’t ever think you can get away from me!”
This volume honestly left me feeling drained. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just a lot to take in emotionally. Seeing Ash trapped in that kind of environment, being watched and tested like he’s not even a person, really got to me. The way the doctors talk about him, like he’s some kind of perfect specimen, made my stomach turn. I get that the story is trying to show how cruel and corrupt people can be, but it starts to feel heavy in a way that doesn’t let up. I kept reading because I care about Ash, but at the same time I felt this constant weight sitting on me the whole time.
What really pushed it over the edge for me was how Shorter is used to manipulate Ash. That part just felt too horrible. It’s one thing to put characters through pain, but this felt especially cruel because of what their friendship means. It didn’t feel dramatic in a satisfying way, it just hurt to read. I know the series has always been dark, but moments like this make it feel like Ash is never allowed even a small break. Even when he’s trying to fight back in his own way, pretending to be weaker than he is and quietly planning, there’s still this feeling that everything is stacked against him. It made me anxious more than anything.
I still think the story is gripping, and I’m invested in what happens next, especially seeing Ash start to make his move. There’s something really powerful about how he holds onto his mind even when everything else is taken from him. But I can’t ignore how much this volume made me feel like the series just wants him to suffer again and again. It’s getting harder to sit through without wishing he could just have a moment of peace. I didn’t come away from this feeling excited, just kind of emotionally worn out and hoping things don’t keep getting worse from here.
Date Read: 2026.03.29