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Fish Wielder
Fish Wielder is kind of like Lord of the Rings, set in Narnia, if it was written by the guys who made Monty Python and the Holy Grail while they were listening to the music of They Might Be Giants.
In ancient times, the Dark Lord Mauron cooked the most powerful magic chocolate dessert ever made, the Pudding of Power. One thousand and two years later, the evil leader of the Bad Religion, the Heartless One, is trying to recover the lost pudding in order to enslave the peoples of Grome. Only the depressed barbarian warrior Thoral Might Fist and his best friend, Brad the talking Koi fish, have a chance to save the world of Grome from destruction, but that's going to take a ridiculous amount of magic and mayhem. Thus begins the epically silly epic fantasy of epic proportions, Fish Wielder—book one of the Fish Wielder Trilogy.
In ancient times, the Dark Lord Mauron cooked the most powerful magic chocolate dessert ever made, the Pudding of Power. One thousand and two years later, the evil leader of the Bad Religion, the Heartless One, is trying to recover the lost pudding in order to enslave the peoples of Grome. Only the depressed barbarian warrior Thoral Might Fist and his best friend, Brad the talking Koi fish, have a chance to save the world of Grome from destruction, but that's going to take a ridiculous amount of magic and mayhem. Thus begins the epically silly epic fantasy of epic proportions, Fish Wielder—book one of the Fish Wielder Trilogy.
254 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 23, 2016
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119 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
September 5, 2016
***Disclaimer: I received a free copy in exchange for a review.***
I almost don’t even know where to start.
This is simply one of the best satirical novels you’ll ever read. It’s Python-esquely witty, meticulously referenced, surprisingly poignant, tightly plotted, sublimely ridiculous, damned stupid and you’ll enjoy every page of it. Especially if you like pudding. You’d better like pudding, because it’s everywhere in this thing.
“We are enemies of old, and I am sworn to an older swear than the swear I swore when I swore to the elves.”
Our hero, Thoral Fist Wielder, is everything you’d expect and more. And less. And something in between. Tall, blond, muscular, speaks loudly and carries a big sword. Knows lots of words and doesn’t know lots more. Really likes being clean. Surprised?- you’ll discover there’s a good reason for it. His sidekick, Brad, is a talking, ambulatory Koi fish who can’t swim- you’ll notice him on the cover. Also on the cover is a dark haired elven beauty. Her name’s Nalweegie- which in Elvish means “the Evening Snack”, because to look on her in twilight quells the hunger of one’s heart without making one feel overfull, as can happen with a more substantial meal.
And did I mention Thoral’s trusty steed named Warlordhorse?
Hardison’s style is pretty funny, if a little verbose. Hardison delivers the most overstuffed, flowery, convoluted, so-purple-Prince-would’ve-sued-him prose you’ll ever read. And that’s without even mentioning the color of Thoral’s eyes. The man knows his stuff; you may not laugh out loud at everything but you’ll definitely be amused- even bemused from time to time. Don’t worry; it’ll all sort itself out. This guy’s a master of turning a phrase… on its ear.
“Thoral swung Blurmflard, whistling through the air, the pink fire of its magic glow flaming to light, and the priest’s head left his shoulders with such force that it smashed an onrushing brother in the face so hard that it killed him, the guy behind him and the guy behind him. The brother behind those three got a concussion and the guy behind him got a bloody nose.”
Believe it or not, there’s an actual plot going on here. This isn’t some slapped together slapstick; there’s something sinister going on here, and even though you may lose sight of it amidst all the sporking and send-ups, Hardison never does. It involves an evil sorcerer, of course, a powerful magic spell, a prophecy and the leader of the Bad Religion. When you least expect it the plot rears its head to remind you what’s at stake, and the threads are very neatly woven together within the foolishness. There truly is a method to all the madness. And just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, when you’re just along for the ride- he yanks the carpet out from under you. There’s twists and turns to this story you’ll never see coming, especially in the finale. And you’ll be hungry for more.
“One does not simply walk into Flurge… it is a terrifying, dangerous, dread place, crowded with the twisted spirits of the dead and overrun by monsters… It drips with darkness like a burlap bag full of black paint. The very air is a smelly fume…”
(If you don’t recognize that quote, don’t even bother picking up this book)
Lovecraft, Robert Howard, Lewis Carroll, Michael Moorcock, Tolkien, Fritz Leiber- none are spared from the rapier wit of Jim Hardison. He pays homage to the masters of Fantasy by roasting their chestnuts over an open fire. And you’ll love every moment of it.
February 26, 2018
This was a surprise find. Parody full of absurd humour that was actually also pretty good fantasy. Give your brain a break and read something fun.
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June 24, 2018
I didn't like it like it, but I did like the concept
It was really boring in the first half and it just got interesting when we found the true identity of the Heartless One and the backstory of course. After the intense battle scene climax, there was yet more boring travelling out and about. I just didn't feel this book.
I admit, it had some funny parts, especially Brad's lines but the whole thing? It just didn't have that spark in it for me. Though, I do like the concept. I've read in the acknowledgements that the author mentioned her daughters in giving him story ideas and as I read it, it does seem like a children's book and would be suited for them and their imagination. When I looked this up here on goodreads and read so many positive reviews about it, I was excited despite me being bored and weirded out by the first two chapters. I was continually wanting more from it, waiting when this gets interesting. The climax made me think this would be awesome and fast paced because some books are like that, but no. This book has only two interesting parts for me, the climax and the last two chapters.
Although very funny and imaginative, I would rate this as a 3.0 stars type of book.
It was really boring in the first half and it just got interesting when we found the true identity of the Heartless One and the backstory of course. After the intense battle scene climax, there was yet more boring travelling out and about. I just didn't feel this book.
I admit, it had some funny parts, especially Brad's lines but the whole thing? It just didn't have that spark in it for me. Though, I do like the concept. I've read in the acknowledgements that the author mentioned her daughters in giving him story ideas and as I read it, it does seem like a children's book and would be suited for them and their imagination. When I looked this up here on goodreads and read so many positive reviews about it, I was excited despite me being bored and weirded out by the first two chapters. I was continually wanting more from it, waiting when this gets interesting. The climax made me think this would be awesome and fast paced because some books are like that, but no. This book has only two interesting parts for me, the climax and the last two chapters.
Although very funny and imaginative, I would rate this as a 3.0 stars type of book.
September 20, 2016
JRRR Hardison is YA’s version of Mel Brooks. The spoof on Fellowship of the ring was great. OMG it helps to lure adults into this fun loving, fast paced, entertaining and wildly funny book.
We have a talking fish who can’t swim, the ring that helps you change, Nalweegie the elf princess in love with the warrior who is sad and lost after losing his wife but fighting to keep the bad religion and their leader the heartless one from taking over. How can evil rule? If they have the gloomy stone, the evil bracelet and the one pudding they can take over their world. It’s a great YA version of Lord of the rings but funnier.
I can say I can’t see how Thoral in both his forms could like Nancy. She was just selfish and mean to me. Thoral was lost and fighting with the help of brad the talking fish at first. He along the way learns more and more of the bad religion’s plan and boy is it evil. Not only that he gets some real eye opening moments.
thoral is a great character as is brad. they are trying to do right and at the end when Nancy is trying to show it was a dream was wrong. I do hope we get another book. This was great. Seriously great. I loved the names of characters like futon, tampon and Nalweegie. the forming of the fellowship of the pudding was classic. The introducing the fellowship to tv and their addiction to it and the gelato moments were hysterical. but futon explaining his heritage was classic.
The story of fighting the heartless one to keep evil from ruling was a wild and crazy adventure filled with some uproariously hysterical moments. We get action, danger, shocking reveals, fellowships, friendships and evil that has your head spin. Thoral and his fellowship is a great group of characters as is this book. This is a book for all ages for adults can relate to the clean Mel Brooks way of spoof on Lord of the Rings with a little star wars in there with the Nalweegie in skimpy outfit scene after she is taken by Nalgrombie back to the lair of the Bad Religion for her sacrifice. A book you won’t be able to put down for it will crack you up and wanting to see if the fellowship and Thoral can win. I look forward to seeing Brad and thoral get to fight another day together in future books.
We have a talking fish who can’t swim, the ring that helps you change, Nalweegie the elf princess in love with the warrior who is sad and lost after losing his wife but fighting to keep the bad religion and their leader the heartless one from taking over. How can evil rule? If they have the gloomy stone, the evil bracelet and the one pudding they can take over their world. It’s a great YA version of Lord of the rings but funnier.
I can say I can’t see how Thoral in both his forms could like Nancy. She was just selfish and mean to me. Thoral was lost and fighting with the help of brad the talking fish at first. He along the way learns more and more of the bad religion’s plan and boy is it evil. Not only that he gets some real eye opening moments.
thoral is a great character as is brad. they are trying to do right and at the end when Nancy is trying to show it was a dream was wrong. I do hope we get another book. This was great. Seriously great. I loved the names of characters like futon, tampon and Nalweegie. the forming of the fellowship of the pudding was classic. The introducing the fellowship to tv and their addiction to it and the gelato moments were hysterical. but futon explaining his heritage was classic.
The story of fighting the heartless one to keep evil from ruling was a wild and crazy adventure filled with some uproariously hysterical moments. We get action, danger, shocking reveals, fellowships, friendships and evil that has your head spin. Thoral and his fellowship is a great group of characters as is this book. This is a book for all ages for adults can relate to the clean Mel Brooks way of spoof on Lord of the Rings with a little star wars in there with the Nalweegie in skimpy outfit scene after she is taken by Nalgrombie back to the lair of the Bad Religion for her sacrifice. A book you won’t be able to put down for it will crack you up and wanting to see if the fellowship and Thoral can win. I look forward to seeing Brad and thoral get to fight another day together in future books.
September 15, 2016
Thoral Mighty Fist is tired of his meager existence. Though he's done everything to pull himself from the depressive state that plagues him at every turn, nothing seems to brighten up his days. Until the moment he and his trusty sidekick, Brad, a talking Koi fish, are given the chance to save the world around them. Their goal—to find the Pudding of Power, Dark Lord Mauron's most prized dessert. Finding it will prove to be trying, but it's a goal Thoral has set himself upon. Nothing and no one will keep him from fulfilling his very goal.
An intriguing read, Fish Wielder thrusts the reader into Thoral's plight, one that's full of so many twists and turns, that it keeps you guessing from start to finish. Thoral is a man who's tired of the cards he's been dealt. In his mind, there's something better on the other side. All that changes when he's presented with the unexpected quest of finding something that hasn't been seen in years.
A satirical take on all things fantasy, we catch glimpses of Lord of the Rings, Lovecraft, Alice in Wonderful, and many more. Jim spins a story that truly piques interest, while making the reader laugh at all the silliness every step of the way. He's taken elements from all of the fantastic worlds and blended them together in such a way that you're actually rooting for Thoral and Brad as they strive to find the Pudding of Power.
Thoral sort of reminds me of Thorin Oakenshield from LOTR, except this character is far more depressed and intent on doing things in unconventional ways. Fish Wielder is a story that's enjoyable by anyone of any age. The parodic and comedic elements truly makes the reader want to continue reading in order to know what happens next. It's definitely a delightful read.
An intriguing read, Fish Wielder thrusts the reader into Thoral's plight, one that's full of so many twists and turns, that it keeps you guessing from start to finish. Thoral is a man who's tired of the cards he's been dealt. In his mind, there's something better on the other side. All that changes when he's presented with the unexpected quest of finding something that hasn't been seen in years.
A satirical take on all things fantasy, we catch glimpses of Lord of the Rings, Lovecraft, Alice in Wonderful, and many more. Jim spins a story that truly piques interest, while making the reader laugh at all the silliness every step of the way. He's taken elements from all of the fantastic worlds and blended them together in such a way that you're actually rooting for Thoral and Brad as they strive to find the Pudding of Power.
Thoral sort of reminds me of Thorin Oakenshield from LOTR, except this character is far more depressed and intent on doing things in unconventional ways. Fish Wielder is a story that's enjoyable by anyone of any age. The parodic and comedic elements truly makes the reader want to continue reading in order to know what happens next. It's definitely a delightful read.
March 17, 2017
Folks, listen to me and listen good, this is the book that you need to read, unless, of course, you hate to laugh. And you will laugh, this I can guarantee, whether it's that laugh that comes from deep in your gut where only acid that dissolves all your food lives or the chortle that comes from the part of your soul that finds life completely absurd and you have now finally discovered the one who will translate it for you, Jim Hardison.
Here you have Thoral Mighty Fist, sword wielding barbarian who has a difficult time dying, and his sidekick Brad, a talking, logic-minded Koi fish, on a quest to defeat the leader of the Bad Religion whose primary goal is to enslave the residents of the mystical world of Grome with a long lost magical pudding. Thus begins a wild and violent journey that is as much fantasy as it is comedy. I love the fact that just when I think I have the story figured out there is a twist that completely throws me in a whole new direction. This occurs every chapter, folks, until the very end so don't get too comfy. The pace is fast and never gets bogged down. I was very much kept involved in the story with the sheer absurdity of the over-the-top violence, described with vivid and humorously gory detail that one might find in a certain scene of a certain Monty Python movie.
But to only compare Fish Wielder to other writings or even movies is, in my opinion, to diminish the fresh, extremely farcical and wildly entertaining madcap-ness found on every page of this book. J. R. R. R. (Jim) Hardison stands on his own. A hilarious writer whose future books and writings I now look forward to.
Here you have Thoral Mighty Fist, sword wielding barbarian who has a difficult time dying, and his sidekick Brad, a talking, logic-minded Koi fish, on a quest to defeat the leader of the Bad Religion whose primary goal is to enslave the residents of the mystical world of Grome with a long lost magical pudding. Thus begins a wild and violent journey that is as much fantasy as it is comedy. I love the fact that just when I think I have the story figured out there is a twist that completely throws me in a whole new direction. This occurs every chapter, folks, until the very end so don't get too comfy. The pace is fast and never gets bogged down. I was very much kept involved in the story with the sheer absurdity of the over-the-top violence, described with vivid and humorously gory detail that one might find in a certain scene of a certain Monty Python movie.
But to only compare Fish Wielder to other writings or even movies is, in my opinion, to diminish the fresh, extremely farcical and wildly entertaining madcap-ness found on every page of this book. J. R. R. R. (Jim) Hardison stands on his own. A hilarious writer whose future books and writings I now look forward to.
March 16, 2021
Absolutely Insane, which means I loved it
I laughed, snorted, cackled until my eyes watered, choked... ran through the whole gambit of humorous emotions while reading this riduculously creative story. Please read this book! And please, Mr. J.R.R.R. Hardison, please continue writing! Verily, I needs must purchase a print copy.
I laughed, snorted, cackled until my eyes watered, choked... ran through the whole gambit of humorous emotions while reading this riduculously creative story. Please read this book! And please, Mr. J.R.R.R. Hardison, please continue writing! Verily, I needs must purchase a print copy.
July 11, 2016
If Robert E. Howard wrote for Monty Python, he would not have been as funny (nor as imaginative) as J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison.
If you think you know what you're getting into with Fish Wielder, let me stop you right there. You don't. I've turned many a page with Robert Asprin and Piers Anthony, so when I picked up Hardison's book, I thought “this will be a nice tongue-in-cheek, pun-filled foray into a familiar fantasy scape.” Not so. Fish Wielder tap dances through the tropes and clichés of the fantasy genre with such skill and aplomb that I can't bring myself to compare it to anything else I've ever read.
It is hard to write humor. I can't do it. Most TV shows can't do it. But Hardison manages to deliver insightful, deconstructionist laughs with the ease of a grode falling off a log. And often from unexpected material. Even the arc and landing of a flying severed head gave me a chuckle at one point.
Without exaggerating, I can tell you that Hardison made me LOL on nearly every page. Some of his similes -- I mean, my god -- were hilarious. Binding chains are cut in half like “strands of licorice,” and heroes run as fast as “giraffes,” which, it turns out, is five mph faster than a human being.
At one point in the tale, a mandatory giant serpent appears. Or as Hardison describes it: “It was
a jet-black snake, about thirty feet long and as thick around as two fat men hugging.” Two fat men hugging! I snorted so hard when I read that line, something came out of my nose.
And the novel is packed with that kind of stuff.
None of the big-name fantasy authors escape Hardison. Tolkien, Lewis, Baum, Lovecraft, Howard, the guy who wrote Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, all receive hilarious, literary dick punches within the pages of Fish Wielder. Like the narrator – who pokes little peep holes in the fourth wall as he/she/it imparts the tale – Hardison wants you to be in on the joke. There is often a sense that some gags were written just for you, the seasoned fantasy reader. You, too, had noticed the potential for a groan while reading a long-winded description in Return of the King. You, too, rolled your eyes at that convoluted metaphor in one of Lovecraft's horror stories. Well, you stand not alone! This novel smiles, shakes its head and embraces all those eye rolls and groans with loving fondness.
You see, Hardison hasn't just delivered a hilarious parody novel. He also has given us a damn good fantasy story. He pokes fun at the genre -- but good -- yet you still find yourself turning the pages (or scrolling the screen, whatever) to find out how Thoral and Brad are going to get out of their latest mess.
And let me tell you this: You don't know. There are twists and turns in this book that made me exclaim: Holy Bejesus! I did not see that coming!” Shoot, even in the middle of A-bomb-level twists, Hardison can pull off another twist on top of the one you're already freaking out on. It's like even his twists have twists.
Long story short: the story is solid, the jokes will make you want to pee, and the characters are lovable and hilarious. Oh, and there's pudding too!
If you think you know what you're getting into with Fish Wielder, let me stop you right there. You don't. I've turned many a page with Robert Asprin and Piers Anthony, so when I picked up Hardison's book, I thought “this will be a nice tongue-in-cheek, pun-filled foray into a familiar fantasy scape.” Not so. Fish Wielder tap dances through the tropes and clichés of the fantasy genre with such skill and aplomb that I can't bring myself to compare it to anything else I've ever read.
It is hard to write humor. I can't do it. Most TV shows can't do it. But Hardison manages to deliver insightful, deconstructionist laughs with the ease of a grode falling off a log. And often from unexpected material. Even the arc and landing of a flying severed head gave me a chuckle at one point.
Without exaggerating, I can tell you that Hardison made me LOL on nearly every page. Some of his similes -- I mean, my god -- were hilarious. Binding chains are cut in half like “strands of licorice,” and heroes run as fast as “giraffes,” which, it turns out, is five mph faster than a human being.
At one point in the tale, a mandatory giant serpent appears. Or as Hardison describes it: “It was
a jet-black snake, about thirty feet long and as thick around as two fat men hugging.” Two fat men hugging! I snorted so hard when I read that line, something came out of my nose.
And the novel is packed with that kind of stuff.
None of the big-name fantasy authors escape Hardison. Tolkien, Lewis, Baum, Lovecraft, Howard, the guy who wrote Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, all receive hilarious, literary dick punches within the pages of Fish Wielder. Like the narrator – who pokes little peep holes in the fourth wall as he/she/it imparts the tale – Hardison wants you to be in on the joke. There is often a sense that some gags were written just for you, the seasoned fantasy reader. You, too, had noticed the potential for a groan while reading a long-winded description in Return of the King. You, too, rolled your eyes at that convoluted metaphor in one of Lovecraft's horror stories. Well, you stand not alone! This novel smiles, shakes its head and embraces all those eye rolls and groans with loving fondness.
You see, Hardison hasn't just delivered a hilarious parody novel. He also has given us a damn good fantasy story. He pokes fun at the genre -- but good -- yet you still find yourself turning the pages (or scrolling the screen, whatever) to find out how Thoral and Brad are going to get out of their latest mess.
And let me tell you this: You don't know. There are twists and turns in this book that made me exclaim: Holy Bejesus! I did not see that coming!” Shoot, even in the middle of A-bomb-level twists, Hardison can pull off another twist on top of the one you're already freaking out on. It's like even his twists have twists.
Long story short: the story is solid, the jokes will make you want to pee, and the characters are lovable and hilarious. Oh, and there's pudding too!
February 9, 2018
I nearly gave up on this book a quarter way through. I just wasn't invested enough in the characters, and the silliness and gore of Thoral beating up on monsters and rescuing maidens I don't really think is enough to sustain the story. Then I got to the second half of the book and things really started to pick up. All of that stuff I thought was just the author throwing out fantasy trope and after trope because that's what happens in fantasy books were actually vital to the plot, and there were plenty of plot twists I didn't see coming that really reframe the story.
That said, I had some issues with the writing. I wasn't sure if it was intentionally sort of bad, in a parody of the way that a lot of cliche fantasy novels are, or if the author was just not that strong of a writer. I don't think it was a great choice if it was intentional. I think part of what immerses you in a story is being able to trust that the author is taking you somewhere, if you'll only just relax and enjoy the ride. I think a lot of expositional elements, constantly shifting point of view (head hopping), and excessive use of adjective and adverbs really make this book drag for at least the first third.
After that it gets more interesting.
That said, I had some issues with the writing. I wasn't sure if it was intentionally sort of bad, in a parody of the way that a lot of cliche fantasy novels are, or if the author was just not that strong of a writer. I don't think it was a great choice if it was intentional. I think part of what immerses you in a story is being able to trust that the author is taking you somewhere, if you'll only just relax and enjoy the ride. I think a lot of expositional elements, constantly shifting point of view (head hopping), and excessive use of adjective and adverbs really make this book drag for at least the first third.
After that it gets more interesting.
August 25, 2016
I see the author describes the book as "silly" and I'm not sure I agree with that. Yes, the book was epically funny, but silly implies it's a toss away book. What I found was a solid story with well developed characters and I am excited that this is a trilogy so I can read more from this author. My daughter kept herself up way too late last night reading because she couldn't put the book down. She's almost ten and staying up to read has never happened before. I kept hearing her laughing. So the book appeals to kids as well. I know it seems too early to be thinking of Christmas presents, but I already know what I'm giving out this year to colleagues and my children's close friends.
October 18, 2017
This is a fun book. Witty, clever, and merciless in its skewering of high fantasy and its tropes. This is the book Bored of the Rings should have been, with an occasional flash of Lemony Snicket. The parody is in full force from page 1. The plot takes a bit long her to develop but when it does the twists and turns are delightful and culminate in a thoroughly unexpected and satisfying ending. However, I am left with one question: Is the author's name Jim R. Railroad Hardison or is it Jim Railroad R. Hardison?
I had previously read the graphic novel _The Helm_ by the same author which I also recommend.
I had previously read the graphic novel _The Helm_ by the same author which I also recommend.
September 2, 2016
Amazing!
I do not write many reviews so I'll keep this one short. I loved this book. I met the author at a ComiCon and found him to be personable and funny. This book is that as well. Can't wait for the next one.
I do not write many reviews so I'll keep this one short. I loved this book. I met the author at a ComiCon and found him to be personable and funny. This book is that as well. Can't wait for the next one.
July 2, 2017
This is the funniest novel I've ever read. If you enjoy fantasy and/or humor, check it out. Great for writers, too: analyze this to see masterfully intentionally bad yet somehow also gloriously good writing. No trope will be left standing. Enjoy!
April 22, 2021
Found this book to have a fun story. The main character is a barbarian warrior and he has a very smart goldfish--that talks! Totally recommend if you want a little humor with your fantasy.
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January 12, 2022You can read my review at OnlineBookClub
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January 31, 2024
Fish Wielder comes with a Piers Anthony endorsement on the cover: “This is one wild romp. I would recommend it to anyone.” Having read and enjoyed many of Piers Anthony’s books, I took him at his word.
The hero of the book is Thoral Mighty Fist. Fist, not Fish, which made me flip back to the cover and wonder if “Fist Wielder” was a typo that made it to the cover. It wasn’t. Thoral Mighty Fist is accompanied throughout this tale by a koi named Brad. At one point, a “Fish Wielder” joke is made. And apparently, that was enough to make it to the cover of the book. It’s the kind of inside joke which permeates the book, with the author frequently pointing them out so that you can’t miss it. A morose drunk who is tired of adventure, Thoral embarks on one last quest that will hopefully result in a hero’s death, thereby giving him the release and peace he is searching for. Along the way, there will be magical creatures, some romance, plenty of fighting, and lots of drinking.
Unfortunately for us, Thoral’s quest extends for forty-seven excruciating chapters. There is very little of the warmth and wonder that permeate Piers Anthony’s books. I remember the early Xanth books as clean and crisply written. They were a joy to read. Here the writing is at times tongue-in-cheek, sophomoric and self-aware, but with the worst characteristics of each. And that’s for the best of the writing. The worst gives us sentences like: “The princess cast about with her eyes desperate for an avenue of escape, but the Dark Brothers had begun to close in on her like the deadly drawstring at the waist of a pair of very dangerous drawstring pants.” Even as Thoral Mighty Fist’s back story is revealed, I felt more pity for myself as a reader, than for him as a character. It’s not often I can say that.
Mr. Hardison is credited as the author of a graphic novel, a medium that is much different in style from a regular novel. That made me wonder about two things as I slogged through this book: a) if a picture is worth a thousand words and this book has no pictures, was Mr. Hardison trying to make up for that by adding in thousands of words? and b) were some of the more elaborate descriptions e.g. “apelike, guinea-pig-faced creatures…rodent-like heads” meant for us or for someone who would be illustrating the novel?
The big problem with this book is that it takes too long to get where it’s going and fails to hook you in to come along for the ride. The ending, which I won’t spoil, seems to have been tacked on from another novel and sets up a sequel. I can only recommend this book to teenage, and slightly younger, boys. Mr. Hardison starts his dedication: “For the thirteen-year-old versions of…”, and it seems to me that age group would be more apt to appreciate the humor.
The hero of the book is Thoral Mighty Fist. Fist, not Fish, which made me flip back to the cover and wonder if “Fist Wielder” was a typo that made it to the cover. It wasn’t. Thoral Mighty Fist is accompanied throughout this tale by a koi named Brad. At one point, a “Fish Wielder” joke is made. And apparently, that was enough to make it to the cover of the book. It’s the kind of inside joke which permeates the book, with the author frequently pointing them out so that you can’t miss it. A morose drunk who is tired of adventure, Thoral embarks on one last quest that will hopefully result in a hero’s death, thereby giving him the release and peace he is searching for. Along the way, there will be magical creatures, some romance, plenty of fighting, and lots of drinking.
Unfortunately for us, Thoral’s quest extends for forty-seven excruciating chapters. There is very little of the warmth and wonder that permeate Piers Anthony’s books. I remember the early Xanth books as clean and crisply written. They were a joy to read. Here the writing is at times tongue-in-cheek, sophomoric and self-aware, but with the worst characteristics of each. And that’s for the best of the writing. The worst gives us sentences like: “The princess cast about with her eyes desperate for an avenue of escape, but the Dark Brothers had begun to close in on her like the deadly drawstring at the waist of a pair of very dangerous drawstring pants.” Even as Thoral Mighty Fist’s back story is revealed, I felt more pity for myself as a reader, than for him as a character. It’s not often I can say that.
Mr. Hardison is credited as the author of a graphic novel, a medium that is much different in style from a regular novel. That made me wonder about two things as I slogged through this book: a) if a picture is worth a thousand words and this book has no pictures, was Mr. Hardison trying to make up for that by adding in thousands of words? and b) were some of the more elaborate descriptions e.g. “apelike, guinea-pig-faced creatures…rodent-like heads” meant for us or for someone who would be illustrating the novel?
The big problem with this book is that it takes too long to get where it’s going and fails to hook you in to come along for the ride. The ending, which I won’t spoil, seems to have been tacked on from another novel and sets up a sequel. I can only recommend this book to teenage, and slightly younger, boys. Mr. Hardison starts his dedication: “For the thirteen-year-old versions of…”, and it seems to me that age group would be more apt to appreciate the humor.
November 29, 2021
As per my belief, fantasy writing is one of the most difficult types of writing, especially when you have to create a complete environment right from characters to surroundings to names and whatnot since you only have a handful of stuff already created and the rest is completely based on your imagination.
Jim Hardison’s Fish Wielder is one such literary work.
Filled with imagination right from the beginning till the end.
The author has used the fantasy canvas which was presented to him perfectly, blending in some real-life facts subtly.
Chapter after chapter the author reveals his fantasy world, sometimes via interesting characters like a talking fish which almost drowns in water, a talking horse that tries to show off his intelligence, elves who are way beyond hundred years old, and many more, to interesting names for places, to amusing magical powers, to over-the-top magical incidents, the story is complete fantasy bonanza.
Not only fantasy, but Jim has also combined fantasy with well-balanced and well-timed humor, which makes you laugh and provides a bit of required pause from the fantasy.
There are glimpses of romance as well, which teach us how even a beast can soften because of love, and glimpses of genuine friendship and togetherness, which teach us that with unity and togetherness we can cross the most difficult of terrains.
The story offers you a lot of thrills and suspense as well, which the author uses effectively in the end to provide a hint of upcoming books on the same series of events.
On one side, good use of fantasy is one strong point of the narrative and redundant use of fantasy and long narrative are its downside.
There are quite a few places where you feel the narrative is repetitive and the same magical incident is being repeated, while at certain other places, you feel like it should have been omitted completely.
These things increase the narrative’s length and in the second half of the book, one gets a feeling of when the story will end.
This downside even sometimes overshadows the thrill and suspense that story offers.
I would strongly recommend this book to those readers who enjoy reading fantasy writeups. You won’t get disappointed.
Jim Hardison’s Fish Wielder is one such literary work.
Filled with imagination right from the beginning till the end.
The author has used the fantasy canvas which was presented to him perfectly, blending in some real-life facts subtly.
Chapter after chapter the author reveals his fantasy world, sometimes via interesting characters like a talking fish which almost drowns in water, a talking horse that tries to show off his intelligence, elves who are way beyond hundred years old, and many more, to interesting names for places, to amusing magical powers, to over-the-top magical incidents, the story is complete fantasy bonanza.
Not only fantasy, but Jim has also combined fantasy with well-balanced and well-timed humor, which makes you laugh and provides a bit of required pause from the fantasy.
There are glimpses of romance as well, which teach us how even a beast can soften because of love, and glimpses of genuine friendship and togetherness, which teach us that with unity and togetherness we can cross the most difficult of terrains.
The story offers you a lot of thrills and suspense as well, which the author uses effectively in the end to provide a hint of upcoming books on the same series of events.
On one side, good use of fantasy is one strong point of the narrative and redundant use of fantasy and long narrative are its downside.
There are quite a few places where you feel the narrative is repetitive and the same magical incident is being repeated, while at certain other places, you feel like it should have been omitted completely.
These things increase the narrative’s length and in the second half of the book, one gets a feeling of when the story will end.
This downside even sometimes overshadows the thrill and suspense that story offers.
I would strongly recommend this book to those readers who enjoy reading fantasy writeups. You won’t get disappointed.
February 27, 2018
Fish Wielder follows the exploits of a hygiene-obsessed barbarian, Thoral Mighty Fist; his sidekick, Brad, a koi fish; and Warlordhorse, a tiger-striped steed who could certainly rival Gandalf’s Shadowfax in speed and intelligence (He knows a few words, like, “Nay”). While searching for “adventure, treasure, and beasts to fight,” Thoral and company instead get more than they bargained for. Embroiled in the convoluted plans of a monologuing necromancer, the hilarious incompetence of the order of the Bad Religion, and other sinister elements lurking in the shadows, Thoral discovers that everything is not what it seems. As the origin of his powers comes to light, Thoral contends with the horrors of his past and is forced to make a life-changing decision.
Fish Wielder had me at the cover, pulled me in at “Nalweegie, the Evening Snack” (Thoral’s love interest), then completely turned me into a Hardison fan by the time the identity of the Heartless One, the resident villain, is revealed. While demonstrating how NOT to write a fantasy novel, J.R.R.R. Hardison has created a truly epic story with a surprising depth—and lots of twists that will blow the unsuspecting reader away.
DO NOT read Fish Wielder in a public place. The danger of recognizing an element from a beloved fantasy book can lead to uncontrollable fits of laughter. (Thoral’s ode to his horse, “Last Lord of the Brendylschmylyn,” had me in stitches.) DO NOT be fooled by all this talk of silliness. Fish Wielder is a legitimate fantasy novel masquerading as an innocent parody. I love the characters. I love the title (If you haven’t guessed yet, Thoral will weaponize his sidekick at some point.). Most of all, I love it not only for fearlessly lampooning the classics but also for articulating every frustration I’ve had in newer works in the fantasy genre.
A remarkable start to this epic series!
Fish Wielder had me at the cover, pulled me in at “Nalweegie, the Evening Snack” (Thoral’s love interest), then completely turned me into a Hardison fan by the time the identity of the Heartless One, the resident villain, is revealed. While demonstrating how NOT to write a fantasy novel, J.R.R.R. Hardison has created a truly epic story with a surprising depth—and lots of twists that will blow the unsuspecting reader away.
DO NOT read Fish Wielder in a public place. The danger of recognizing an element from a beloved fantasy book can lead to uncontrollable fits of laughter. (Thoral’s ode to his horse, “Last Lord of the Brendylschmylyn,” had me in stitches.) DO NOT be fooled by all this talk of silliness. Fish Wielder is a legitimate fantasy novel masquerading as an innocent parody. I love the characters. I love the title (If you haven’t guessed yet, Thoral will weaponize his sidekick at some point.). Most of all, I love it not only for fearlessly lampooning the classics but also for articulating every frustration I’ve had in newer works in the fantasy genre.
A remarkable start to this epic series!
December 11, 2023
The story of Thoral, the Fist Wielder, begins with him drinking warm ale (which he hates), eager for an adventure. With Brad the fish, they embark on a romp that leads to an adventure where he fights a sorcerer and comes in contact with an elf. From there, an incredible adventure is embarked.
The unexpected humor kept me engaged, such as “Thoral slapped Wyse so hard that one of his eyeballs flew out.” The talking animals, fish that can’t swim, and fantastic twists, this is the kind of book that makes reading fun. The imagery of the author’s writing made it feel like I was watching a movie, not reading a novel…a testament to the author. It also had the Alice and Wonderland mixed with Narnia feel to it; reading it felt like I was reading Thoral’s dream. The author's use of foreshadowing kept me engaged, and tying everything together by the end satisfied by reading experience.
This appears to have been professionally edited. I found no editing issues worth mentioning.
Language is mild and nothing that I read was sexually explicit; however, the action sequences get a bit violent and somewhat gruesome that can make this book unsuitable for some younger readers; however, those details are what make this book shine.
The unexpected humor kept me engaged, such as “Thoral slapped Wyse so hard that one of his eyeballs flew out.” The talking animals, fish that can’t swim, and fantastic twists, this is the kind of book that makes reading fun. The imagery of the author’s writing made it feel like I was watching a movie, not reading a novel…a testament to the author. It also had the Alice and Wonderland mixed with Narnia feel to it; reading it felt like I was reading Thoral’s dream. The author's use of foreshadowing kept me engaged, and tying everything together by the end satisfied by reading experience.
This appears to have been professionally edited. I found no editing issues worth mentioning.
Language is mild and nothing that I read was sexually explicit; however, the action sequences get a bit violent and somewhat gruesome that can make this book unsuitable for some younger readers; however, those details are what make this book shine.
October 3, 2018
I certainly wasn't given this book by someone to promote his uncle's books. *cough cough* You know who you are. I really enjoyed this book. There wasn't a single moment that I wasn't entertained. I understood a lot of the references even without reading the books they came from. My sincerest apologies, I have not read The Lord of the Rings. This book was very ironic and I laughed at every page. My sister is probably annoyed with me by now because I would talk about how ridiculous this book is without elaborating. Since I'm an aspiring writer, I was also analyzing Jim Hardison's writing style as well . I was entertained by the fact that he used much more advanced language and gave context to the definitions of simple words. For example:
Thoral - "What is that word that means when something has substantial weight?"
Brad- "Heavy."
You get the idea. Ah yes, and when Nalweegie called Thoral her "special friend" I couldn't help but think of the kazoo kid when he says, "You're my special friend." Point is, I am fond of this book. I hope that was a PRETTY THOROUGH explanation.
Thoral - "What is that word that means when something has substantial weight?"
Brad- "Heavy."
You get the idea. Ah yes, and when Nalweegie called Thoral her "special friend" I couldn't help but think of the kazoo kid when he says, "You're my special friend." Point is, I am fond of this book. I hope that was a PRETTY THOROUGH explanation.
November 7, 2018
This is a silly book – but that's the whole point. The back cover starts with this:
"Fish Wielder is kind of like Lord of the Rings, set in Narnia, if it was written by the guys who made Monty Python and the Holy Grail while they were listening to the music of They Might Be Giants."
Those references are four of my Favorite Things, which presumably explains why I enjoyed the book as much as I did. What surprised me the most was the author's idiosyncratic sense of humor, which really grew on me. To wit, this passage referring to Brad, the intelligent fish sidekick:
"He was too small to cradle the guard's head in his lap, and he didn't have a lap anyway because he didn't have legs, but that's what he would have been doing if he could have. Technically, he wasn't even kneeling because he didn't have knees."
"Fish Wielder is kind of like Lord of the Rings, set in Narnia, if it was written by the guys who made Monty Python and the Holy Grail while they were listening to the music of They Might Be Giants."
Those references are four of my Favorite Things, which presumably explains why I enjoyed the book as much as I did. What surprised me the most was the author's idiosyncratic sense of humor, which really grew on me. To wit, this passage referring to Brad, the intelligent fish sidekick:
"He was too small to cradle the guard's head in his lap, and he didn't have a lap anyway because he didn't have legs, but that's what he would have been doing if he could have. Technically, he wasn't even kneeling because he didn't have knees."
February 4, 2022
I received a free copy of this book to review through Online Book Club.
If you are a kid, teenager you will definitely enjoy the story. Moreover, you will feel the challenge and get inspired more and more, to believe in yourself. J. R. R. R. (Jim) Hardison has done a wonderful job in this book.... Loved reading it!
Fish Wielder is inspiring, surprising, thought provoking and more precisely funny! A talking fish friend to a mighty fist Thoral, throws rhetoric jokes, makes you look back and laugh! The book also is original in its dialect as it uses a lot of old English words, and the dialogues are filled with power pact insights.
If you are a kid, teenager you will definitely enjoy the story. Moreover, you will feel the challenge and get inspired more and more, to believe in yourself. J. R. R. R. (Jim) Hardison has done a wonderful job in this book.... Loved reading it!
Fish Wielder is inspiring, surprising, thought provoking and more precisely funny! A talking fish friend to a mighty fist Thoral, throws rhetoric jokes, makes you look back and laugh! The book also is original in its dialect as it uses a lot of old English words, and the dialogues are filled with power pact insights.
June 13, 2024
The Next Terry Pratchett?
Despite his sad passing, Terry Pratchett remains one of my favourite authors. And in ‘Fish Wielder’ I feel the spirit of his writing living on. J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison has a similar grasp of humorous fantasy. The style, wit and comic timing are all there (although a little overtly in places). But perhaps even more importantly, Hardison’s work also includes a strong story, that could stand up to scrutiny, even if the humour was removed. Bottom line... I’m a fan!
Despite his sad passing, Terry Pratchett remains one of my favourite authors. And in ‘Fish Wielder’ I feel the spirit of his writing living on. J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison has a similar grasp of humorous fantasy. The style, wit and comic timing are all there (although a little overtly in places). But perhaps even more importantly, Hardison’s work also includes a strong story, that could stand up to scrutiny, even if the humour was removed. Bottom line... I’m a fan!
February 24, 2025
This book was an absolute gem! It poked jokes at some of the most overly cliched high fantasy elements and turned them into something new. But it was more than simply a comedic fantasy. The story and plot were genuinely good!
I'm not particularly into comedic writing, but I couldn't get to the next page fast enough with great writing that repeated the correct parts to give it a satirical feel.
This is a book that everyone can enjoy!
I'm not particularly into comedic writing, but I couldn't get to the next page fast enough with great writing that repeated the correct parts to give it a satirical feel.
This is a book that everyone can enjoy!
February 2, 2018
Definitely a book meant to be taken in jest. At first I was a bit put off with the writing style and the characterization of the characters in the beginning because I just wasn’t used to writing like Hardison’s but as I got deeper into the book it started to grow on me and it was pretty funny throughout the whole thing.
November 20, 2018
it was supposed to be funny so i kept trying to read it and didn't care for it.
after about 6 tries i started again and finally got into it.
it's a parody and sometimes they just fall flat. maybe this would be better for a young guy who likes epic stories from the middle ages in europe. it's a cross between a graphic novel, superhero story, with a bit of magic thrown in.
after about 6 tries i started again and finally got into it.
it's a parody and sometimes they just fall flat. maybe this would be better for a young guy who likes epic stories from the middle ages in europe. it's a cross between a graphic novel, superhero story, with a bit of magic thrown in.
June 12, 2021
Awesome fantasy parody book. If you love fantasy and want some comedy, you'll enjoy this book immensely. It is a tad long and takes a while to really get to the main plot. It kind of starts out like quest of the week in terms of plot. But eventually everything does get tied together. So just wait for it.
August 23, 2018
The fantasy genre often takes itself way too seriously, but not J.R.R.R. Hardison...who out "R"s George R.R. Martin. This debut novel finds a swordsman and his talking fish battling a heartless mage, minions, and a doomsday dessert (The Pudding of Power).
Thoral Mighty Fist with his enchanted broadsword Blurmflard, and his steed Warlordhorse, face off against Necrogrond the sorcerer. Thoral gets help from King Elfrod and the elf princess named Nalweegie...“She is called Nalweegie, the Evening Snack...because to look on her in twilight quells the hunger of one’s heart without making one feel overfull, as can happen with a more substantial meal." His best friend is a koi named Brad...I assume because all the good names were taken.
Thoral Mighty Fist with his enchanted broadsword Blurmflard, and his steed Warlordhorse, face off against Necrogrond the sorcerer. Thoral gets help from King Elfrod and the elf princess named Nalweegie...“She is called Nalweegie, the Evening Snack...because to look on her in twilight quells the hunger of one’s heart without making one feel overfull, as can happen with a more substantial meal." His best friend is a koi named Brad...I assume because all the good names were taken.
October 4, 2020
This one could have really used a bit of editing. I like the cover.
June 26, 2023
J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison really encapsulates "Douglas Adams writes Conan" vibes. It definitely feels like a Monty Python movie in book form. It takes a lot of the cliches and tropes from high fantasy and plays on them to show how predictable and overdone they have become through humour. Really enjoyable book that is great for all lovers of fantasy and laughter. My main criticism is that there's no second book yet. Come on Jim, I'm waiting for my next fix of Thoral Mighty Fist!
4/5
4/5
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