Being Realistic Isn't Realistic: Collected essays on disability, identity, inclusion and innovation

by Emma Van Der Klift, Norman Kunc

In this engaging, humorous and provocative collection of essays, Emma Van der Klift and Norman Kunc gently prod us to rethink many taken for granted and unquestioned assumptions about the nature of disability. They begin with a challenge and an assertion; people have the right to be disabled and should be under no obligation to minimize or hide their disabilities. Disability, they contend, is not a tragic medical condition, but is an inherent part of the diversity of the human condition – an identity to be embraced with pride. They go on to explore the sometimes overlooked complexities of inclusion – both at school and in the community. In one essay, they ask us to rethink the relationship between ability and opportunity and challenge the presumption that people need to acquire abilities before they are afforded the opportunity to participate in regular schools and the broader community. In another, they ask us to consider how we might ensure that friendship between non-disabled and disabled people doesn't become contaminated by benevolence, underestimation and paternalism.Throughout this book, they playfully draw unexpected connections between disability, innovation and a number of seemingly unrelated topics - like belly dance, chess and magic.Although Norman Kunc and Emma Van der Klift are internationally known speakers, authors and disability rights advocates, they prefer to think of themselves as modern day storytellers, continuing the long held tradition of using humour and narrative to initiate self-reflection and social change. Born with cerebral palsy, Norman attended a segregated school for children with physical disabilities; then, at the age 13, argued his way into a regular school and went on to complete a Master of Science degree in Family Therapy. Recently diagnosed as Autistic, Emma has embraced the diagnosis with a sense of relief, recognition and confirmation. She is certified in both mediation and negotiation and holds a Master's degree in Conflict Analysis and Management. When Norm and Emma aren't working, they enjoy cycling, chess, good food and trying to figure out how magicians use misdirection to fool us.

298 pages, Paperback

Published May 9, 2019

Reviews

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I'd read this book fifty years ago; it would have improved my practice of medicine. A medical record specialist I much admired had severe cerebral palsy with spasticity, athetosis and speech that was hard to understand. She did her job very well. On her desk a sign said "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." The authors of this book would not agree though they, too, would hold her in esteem; they don't think that Norman's CP is a lemon, nor is Emma's late-diagnosed autism. This book is a collection of essays by the authors jointly or by one or another that gives typical people new insight into what it means to be differently-abled, into how something that others pity or misunderstand can be a gift. One thinks of Greta Thunberg.
I started the book months ago, then it got lost in the bookcases until rediscovered when we moved house!

[Meegan Hardaker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Norm and Emma do an excellent job of exploring issues of rights, inclusion, innovation and identity... and being written from two very unique perspectives of people who have lived experience of disability, this book provides so many thoughtful and profound insights. Reading this has reminded me that any efforts to support people with disability should be led by people with disability. As they state: "Even in some groups that have a social justice orientation… non-disabled helpers can wind up taking control. Despite the fact that the rhetoric is about empowerment, power is actually being stolen from the group in the name of assistance. It is condescending to think that non-disabled people can or should “empower” disabled people." (p.147)

Some of my favourite quotes from the book:
“Inclusive education remains, more than twenty five years after this paper was first written, a very concrete and manageable step that can be taken in our school system to ensure that all students learn that belonging is a right and not a privileged status offered some and withheld from others. We don’t have to earn it - it is our birthright. If we want to create schools in which students feel welcomed and part of their communities, then we must begin by creating schools that welcome the diversity of all children.”

“The fundamental principle of inclusive education is valuing diversity and understanding that every person has a contribution to offer to the world. We have drawn narrow parameters around what is valued and exactly which contributions will be honoured. The ways in which people with disabilities can contribute may sometimes be less apparent: they often fall outside the goods and service-orientated, success -driven society. Unfortunately, this leads many to believe that no gift is present. From this premise, and often with the best of intentions, many educators set about to minimise evidence of the disability, believing that by doing so their students will move closer to becoming contributing members of society.”(p125)


On Inclusive education:
Find Relatable Role Models and Teach Disability History

“...we suggest approaching …introductions in the context of social justice - talking about how we’ve treated disabled students historically, what we’re trying to do now, and why.

"Second, educators can help by including disability history in the curriculum for all students. Too often the only kind of disability education students receive is either a medical description or a lecture on the importance of being nice to disabled people. What we believe is most needed is curriculum that posits disability in the context of a civil rights struggle. Tying it to other historical events like the desegregation of black students can help create this context.” (p146)

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is promoted as easy-to-read, and it delivers on that promise. Interesting, thought-provoking essays that really made me take a look on my life as a person with a disability and as a parent of a child with a disability. If you're interested in the issues of disability politics, and inclusion (among other issues), this is highly recommended.