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We Are Lost and Found
A poignant, heartbreaking, and uplifting story in the tradition of The Perks of Being a Wallflower about three friends coming of age in the early 1980s as they struggle to forge their own paths in the face of fear of the unknown.
Michael is content to live in the shadow of his best friends, James and Becky. Plus, his brother, Connor, has already been kicked out of the house for being gay and laying low seems to be Michael's only chance at avoiding the same fate.
To pass the time before graduation, Michael hangs out at The Echo where he can dance and forget about his father's angry words, the pressures of school, and the looming threat of AIDS, a disease that everyone is talking about, but no one understands.
Then he meets Gabriel, a boy who actually sees him. A boy who, unlike seemingly everyone else in New York City, is interested in him and not James. And Michael has to decide what he's willing to risk to be himself.
238 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2019
143 people are currently reading
12961 people want to read
About the author
Helene Dunbar
9 books298 followersCalled the "queen of heartbreaking prose" by Paste Magazine, Helene Dunbar is the author of WE ARE LOST AND FOUND (Sourcebooks, September 2019), PRELUDE FOR LOST SOULS (August, 2020), and THE PROMISE OF LOST THINGS (2022), as well as BOOMERANG, THESE GENTLE WOUNDS, and WHAT REMAINS. Over the years, she's worked as a drama critic, journalist, and marketing manager, and has written on topics as diverse as traditional Irish music, court cases, and theater. She lives in Nashville with her husband and daughter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 577 reviews
May 6, 2019
Utterly gorgeous and emotionally evocative, Helene Dunbar's
We Are Lost and Found
feels like pages from a person's diary. It so effectively and beautifully captures the early 1980s in New York City, what it was like to be a teenager struggling with your sexuality and your desire to be loved and be seen, and the uncertainties and fears of the early days of AIDS.
Michael, James, and Becky are best friends. While Michael and Becky are still in high school, James is two years older, and is a performance artist. James is always the center of attention—his ethereal good looks and his magnetic self-confidence tend to pull everyone toward him.
Michael is envious of James knowing who he is. Ever since Michael's father threw his older brother Connor out of the house after he came out, Michael wants to do everything he can to stay under the radar, yet at the same time, he's just dying to tell his parents the truth. In fact, he wants to tell everyone the truth but at the same time, he's not quite ready to make that leap.
The one place Michael feels at home is at The Echo, a gay dance club. There he can lose himself in the music, flirt without consequence, and not have to acknowledge all of the anxieties he carries with him on a daily basis. He doesn't have to be stuck between his parents and his brother, he doesn't have to lie to his parents about where he's going, he just enjoys the few hours he has, simply to be.
When Michael meets Gabriel, he finally feels seen for the first time, by someone who is interested in him, not in using him to get to James. Michael is lost in the flush of first love, despite the fact that he can't really spend time with Gabriel except at The Echo once a week, despite the fact he can't tell his parents why he's happy. And the more his feelings and his desire for Gabriel intensify, the more his fears about AIDS start to consume him. How does anyone know who's safe? Is it safer never to be with anyone than to put yourself at risk, even if it is all you want?
We Are Lost and Found really struck a chord for me. While I was a little bit younger than these characters in the early 1980s, Dunbar really captured that period of time so perfectly. Coming of age and struggling with my sexuality in the midst of anxieties about AIDS was immensely difficult. The fears of how your parents would react to your telling the truth about your sexuality coupled with wanting to be loved (or even just liked) and the general upheaval of being a teenager was difficult enough, let alone wondering if being with a person could lead to a death sentence.
Dunbar is a fantastic writer. I fell in love with these characters and was really rooting for them, and hoped the book didn't take a severely maudlin turn. The book is told in vignettes more than chapters, and Dunbar doesn't use quotation marks to denote dialogue (at least in the advance version I read), but neither of those things bothered me in the slightest. I honestly could have done with more of the book because I was sad when it ended—it probably didn't help that I read the entire thing in one day.
Maybe some of those who lived through those days will remember things differently, but as someone who was close in age to the characters at the time the book took place, We Are Lost and Found was pitch-perfect. A beautiful book so well-told, one that I won't soon forget.
NetGalley and SOURCEBOOKS Fire provided me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!
This book will be published September 3, 2019.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Check out my list of the best books I read in 2018 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2018.html.
You can follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
Michael, James, and Becky are best friends. While Michael and Becky are still in high school, James is two years older, and is a performance artist. James is always the center of attention—his ethereal good looks and his magnetic self-confidence tend to pull everyone toward him.
Michael is envious of James knowing who he is. Ever since Michael's father threw his older brother Connor out of the house after he came out, Michael wants to do everything he can to stay under the radar, yet at the same time, he's just dying to tell his parents the truth. In fact, he wants to tell everyone the truth but at the same time, he's not quite ready to make that leap.
The one place Michael feels at home is at The Echo, a gay dance club. There he can lose himself in the music, flirt without consequence, and not have to acknowledge all of the anxieties he carries with him on a daily basis. He doesn't have to be stuck between his parents and his brother, he doesn't have to lie to his parents about where he's going, he just enjoys the few hours he has, simply to be.
When Michael meets Gabriel, he finally feels seen for the first time, by someone who is interested in him, not in using him to get to James. Michael is lost in the flush of first love, despite the fact that he can't really spend time with Gabriel except at The Echo once a week, despite the fact he can't tell his parents why he's happy. And the more his feelings and his desire for Gabriel intensify, the more his fears about AIDS start to consume him. How does anyone know who's safe? Is it safer never to be with anyone than to put yourself at risk, even if it is all you want?
We Are Lost and Found really struck a chord for me. While I was a little bit younger than these characters in the early 1980s, Dunbar really captured that period of time so perfectly. Coming of age and struggling with my sexuality in the midst of anxieties about AIDS was immensely difficult. The fears of how your parents would react to your telling the truth about your sexuality coupled with wanting to be loved (or even just liked) and the general upheaval of being a teenager was difficult enough, let alone wondering if being with a person could lead to a death sentence.
Dunbar is a fantastic writer. I fell in love with these characters and was really rooting for them, and hoped the book didn't take a severely maudlin turn. The book is told in vignettes more than chapters, and Dunbar doesn't use quotation marks to denote dialogue (at least in the advance version I read), but neither of those things bothered me in the slightest. I honestly could have done with more of the book because I was sad when it ended—it probably didn't help that I read the entire thing in one day.
Maybe some of those who lived through those days will remember things differently, but as someone who was close in age to the characters at the time the book took place, We Are Lost and Found was pitch-perfect. A beautiful book so well-told, one that I won't soon forget.
NetGalley and SOURCEBOOKS Fire provided me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making it available!
This book will be published September 3, 2019.
See all of my reviews at itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com.
Check out my list of the best books I read in 2018 at https://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-best-books-i-read-in-2018.html.
You can follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/the.bookishworld.of.yrralh/.
September 20, 2023
3.5 "1980s gay teen angst with a bit too much" stars !!
Thank you to Netgalley, Sourcebooks and the author for a copy of this book. In exchange I am providing my review. This book is to be released September 2019.
I pushed this up my reading list to make it my Pride read of 2019.
There is a lot to like in Ms. Dunbar's novel of three teen best friends living their lives in 1983 New York. The time and place felt very genuine with many cultural and musical icons, the club scene, fighting over the home telephone, the fashions and the social attitudes toward the LGBT community.
Ms. Dunbar was able to get across the burgeoning AIDS crisis and the lack of support in researching and treating this most horrible virus. The author also knows how to write about young love whether it be between homosexual or heterosexual couples.
There is too much here though. Packed into one year so many events occur and often this reads like....this happened and then this happened and then this happened to the detriment of character development and emotional processing of what is occurring in their lives. The teens also had much more wisdom than is possible for those tender ages. I also must admit that the last third of the book was a bit much and became more like an NBC after school special with parental guidance warnings.
Happy Pride everyone !!
Thank you to Netgalley, Sourcebooks and the author for a copy of this book. In exchange I am providing my review. This book is to be released September 2019.
I pushed this up my reading list to make it my Pride read of 2019.
There is a lot to like in Ms. Dunbar's novel of three teen best friends living their lives in 1983 New York. The time and place felt very genuine with many cultural and musical icons, the club scene, fighting over the home telephone, the fashions and the social attitudes toward the LGBT community.
Ms. Dunbar was able to get across the burgeoning AIDS crisis and the lack of support in researching and treating this most horrible virus. The author also knows how to write about young love whether it be between homosexual or heterosexual couples.
There is too much here though. Packed into one year so many events occur and often this reads like....this happened and then this happened and then this happened to the detriment of character development and emotional processing of what is occurring in their lives. The teens also had much more wisdom than is possible for those tender ages. I also must admit that the last third of the book was a bit much and became more like an NBC after school special with parental guidance warnings.
Happy Pride everyone !!
October 1, 2019
❥ 3 / 5 stars
[ e-ARC received from NetGalley ]
after reading we are lost and found, i’m going to say that this book was just ok for me in overall. it was neither good nor bad but there were some things about this book that bothered me so much and i wanna tell you about them.
first is the lack of quotation marks. i found it quite hard to read sometimes because i did not know whether someone was saying or not.
second is the plot. i feel like it was not interesting enough to keep my attention.
and third is the writing style. i don’t want to say this but tbh, skipping from scene to scene is kinda annoying.
btw, one thing that i like the most about this book is the friendship between michael, becky and james. it was really precious and i love it. ♡
Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for providing this e-ARC to me in exchange for an honest review.
[ e-ARC received from NetGalley ]
after reading we are lost and found, i’m going to say that this book was just ok for me in overall. it was neither good nor bad but there were some things about this book that bothered me so much and i wanna tell you about them.
first is the lack of quotation marks. i found it quite hard to read sometimes because i did not know whether someone was saying or not.
second is the plot. i feel like it was not interesting enough to keep my attention.
and third is the writing style. i don’t want to say this but tbh, skipping from scene to scene is kinda annoying.
btw, one thing that i like the most about this book is the friendship between michael, becky and james. it was really precious and i love it. ♡
Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Fire for providing this e-ARC to me in exchange for an honest review.
September 1, 2020
“I want to change the world, I want to be true to myself. I have no wish to be in a box.”
Heartfelt and thought provoking, We Are Lost and Found was a surprisingly unique experience for me. It was incredibly easy to put myself in the protagonists shoes, experiencing his concerns and fears. Above all else, this was a book that left me pondering real life issues that have taken over several people’s lives.
~★~ What is this book about? ~★~
We Are Lost and Found takes place in 1980’s New york amidst the AIDS epidemic.
Michael has gotten used to hiding. After his older brother was kicked out of the house for being gay, Michael realizes he must keep quiet to avoid the same fate.
His best friends James and Becky are determined to make sure Michael keeps his spirits up, frequently taking him to the Echo club. Dancing keeps his mind at ease, and eventually Michael meets a handsome boy who’s interested in him. The complications involving family and the fear arising due to the epidemic mean Michael has a lot to worry about.
~★~
While there were several great aspects to this novel, there were also a few things that fell short. Dunbar does a great job illustrating Michael’s thought process; I was able to feel his worry as if it were mine. His best friends were great supporting characters, though I was left wanting to know so much more about them! The ending left me with several unanswered questions as well.
Small things about the formatting irked me. There were no quotation marks for dialogue, making things clunky and at times hard to connect with. Odd scene jumps happen with no warning except a line skip.
Regardless, this was definitely an enjoyable book. Moderately informative and absorbing.
Heartfelt and thought provoking, We Are Lost and Found was a surprisingly unique experience for me. It was incredibly easy to put myself in the protagonists shoes, experiencing his concerns and fears. Above all else, this was a book that left me pondering real life issues that have taken over several people’s lives.
~★~ What is this book about? ~★~
We Are Lost and Found takes place in 1980’s New york amidst the AIDS epidemic.
Michael has gotten used to hiding. After his older brother was kicked out of the house for being gay, Michael realizes he must keep quiet to avoid the same fate.
His best friends James and Becky are determined to make sure Michael keeps his spirits up, frequently taking him to the Echo club. Dancing keeps his mind at ease, and eventually Michael meets a handsome boy who’s interested in him. The complications involving family and the fear arising due to the epidemic mean Michael has a lot to worry about.
~★~
While there were several great aspects to this novel, there were also a few things that fell short. Dunbar does a great job illustrating Michael’s thought process; I was able to feel his worry as if it were mine. His best friends were great supporting characters, though I was left wanting to know so much more about them! The ending left me with several unanswered questions as well.
Small things about the formatting irked me. There were no quotation marks for dialogue, making things clunky and at times hard to connect with. Odd scene jumps happen with no warning except a line skip.
Regardless, this was definitely an enjoyable book. Moderately informative and absorbing.
September 25, 2019
first of all, read Like a Love Story instead which is also a ya book set during the aids crisis in new york & centering a gay teen, only it's written by a gay author who actually lived it
now. this is a pretty well written book, even if the lack of quotation marks in dialogues is annoying & extremely pretentious.
but this story is not one that should have been told by a straight woman & it does some things that are questionable at best: 1) framing not coming out to your highly homophobic father as "hiding" and 2) pretty much slut shaming guys
i'm not going to comment on the fact that the mc is 16 and both his best friend & the li are two years older than him since at least they're all teenagers, but still, this was a choice the author decided she had to make...
rep: gay mcs
now. this is a pretty well written book, even if the lack of quotation marks in dialogues is annoying & extremely pretentious.
but this story is not one that should have been told by a straight woman & it does some things that are questionable at best: 1) framing not coming out to your highly homophobic father as "hiding" and 2) pretty much slut shaming guys
i'm not going to comment on the fact that the mc is 16 and both his best friend & the li are two years older than him since at least they're all teenagers, but still, this was a choice the author decided she had to make...
rep: gay mcs
February 27, 2021
"This year you will create music. You will fall in love. You will find your place. You will be happy."
December 9, 2019
4/10/19:
Now that WE ARE LOST AND FOUND has a cover and ARCs are going out, I wanted to share some things about the book.
- It takes place in 1983 (which was my senior year of high school, making me a year older than Michael and Becky and about the same age as James)
- It’s set in NYC - the city that feeds my soul - and this book is my homage to the grungy but invigorating face it wore in the early 80’s.
- It’s FILLED with 80’s music. I ran my high school and college radio stations and my friends and I were always immersed in music.
- Michael is very much who I’ve tried to be in my best moments: seeking, insightful, empathetic.
- Becky is very much like teen me, including knowing she’s Jewish but not really being sure what that means, and loving her role as an editor on her high school paper.
- James is very much like many of my incredibly talented friends: driven, experimental, creative.
- It has two AMAZING afterwards by three AMAZING AIDS activists and you should read those even if you don't read my book. I hope you read my book (but seriously, make sure read the afterwards!).
In a nutshell, you might enjoy WE ARE LOST AND FOUND, If you like stories about:
- Best friends who call you out while loving you fiercely
- Brothers who look after each other
- 1980’s New York
- MUSIC and THEATER and DANCING and ART
- First love/lust
- Kissing on street corners
- Figuring out who you are
- Finding your voice
- Facing fear of the unknown
Now that WE ARE LOST AND FOUND has a cover and ARCs are going out, I wanted to share some things about the book.
- It takes place in 1983 (which was my senior year of high school, making me a year older than Michael and Becky and about the same age as James)
- It’s set in NYC - the city that feeds my soul - and this book is my homage to the grungy but invigorating face it wore in the early 80’s.
- It’s FILLED with 80’s music. I ran my high school and college radio stations and my friends and I were always immersed in music.
- Michael is very much who I’ve tried to be in my best moments: seeking, insightful, empathetic.
- Becky is very much like teen me, including knowing she’s Jewish but not really being sure what that means, and loving her role as an editor on her high school paper.
- James is very much like many of my incredibly talented friends: driven, experimental, creative.
- It has two AMAZING afterwards by three AMAZING AIDS activists and you should read those even if you don't read my book. I hope you read my book (but seriously, make sure read the afterwards!).
In a nutshell, you might enjoy WE ARE LOST AND FOUND, If you like stories about:
- Best friends who call you out while loving you fiercely
- Brothers who look after each other
- 1980’s New York
- MUSIC and THEATER and DANCING and ART
- First love/lust
- Kissing on street corners
- Figuring out who you are
- Finding your voice
- Facing fear of the unknown
to-read-wishlist
June 20, 2018is this... YA Rent
August 26, 2019
This book was everything I wanted and more. I cannot wait until everyone else gets to read and love it as well!
I'll have a full review going up closer to the release date. As for now, I'll be posting some thoughts over on my Instagram!
UPDATED:
My Rating: stars 5 ★★★★★ out of ★★★★★ stars (5/5)
I was kindly sent a physical copy of this book by Source Books Fire in exchange for a review. Thank you, Source Books! Any opinion is my own.
This review is SPOILER FREE!
TW: homophobia (unaccepting parents)
We Are Lost and Found is one of the rare books that I found the day it was posted to Edelweiss and emailed the publisher immediately. It had everything that I love in the description -- it was compared to Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, it's a coming-of-age story, it's set in the 80s and it follows LGBT+ teens during the AIDs epidemic. Not to mention, the cover is stunning.
Coming-of-age is one of my favorite genres for so many different reasons but I love how real the stories feel even if it's fiction. There's so much character development and personality throughout these types of stories. We Are Lost and Found was no different. As the reader, you follow Michael and his two best friends as they grow up in the middle of New York during the 1980s. Michael goes to this club often that's called the Echo, where he finds himself always dancing and forgetting. He's always hanging out with either Jamie -- the performer and artist or he's with Becky, an strong female character who's going through a lot at home.
Helene Dunbar was able to write such an interesting and fully developed cast of characters in about 300 pages. I loved all of them -- Michael, Jamie and Becky. They each had their own backstories and were nowhere near being flat side characters. They also felt incredibly realistic. I find that sometimes, in YA specifically, friend groups just seem so unrealistic and have me thinking "these people would NEVER be friends in real life" but this set of characters makes perfect sense. Jamie and Becky are never toxic and are so supportive. They're the most unproblematic side characters ever and I ADORE them.
Not only are the friendships in this book fantastic, but family is such a huge theme in this book. Michael's relationship with his parents and his brother plays a big part in this book. His brother is such a great character and I feel as if I relate to both of them. A lot of the times in YA books, families are often nowhere to be seen or also just incredibly unrealistic. It was a joy to see his family play a part in this book, even if it wasn't exactly for the best reason. I really enjoyed seeing Michael's relationship with his brother. Seeing them grow and have a healthier relationship near the end of this book is so rewarding and refreshing. On the other hand, Michael has a tough relationship with his parents and he never knows where he stands with them after knowing what they did to his brother. He feels trapped and it's so hard to read but it's so well done. I think a lot of readers, especially LGBT+ and closeted readers, will appreciate this.
Since this was the first ever book I've read by Helene Dunbar, I had no idea what to expect in terms of her writing style. I opened this book and quickly realized, "There's no quotations marks." I had been buddy reading this with Amber and I texted her about it immediately because to be completely honest, I think this might be one of the first non-classic books I've read with no quotation marks. I love dialogue and I'm not going to lie, I find myself skimming pages and just reading dialogue. Since this had no quotation marks, I obviously couldn't do that. This story is written in beautiful vignettes and yes, there's no quotation marks but DAMN, is it wonderful. I quickly fell in love her way of writing. I ended up marking up my review copy with pencil everywhere. I underlined anything I found funny or lyrical. I have so many quotes that I adored from this book and can't wait to like them all on Goodreads. Let me share some little quotes I underlined:
(please note that this is from an unfinished copy and that some of these quotes may be taken out, edited, or completely changed)
- "Happy. And that's the odd thing. Not being happy, but realizing it. Because how often, when you're happy, do you have the chance to step back and notice?"
- "Becky says to stay away. That sometimes wanting is better than having -- Whatever that means"
- In this scene, he's talking about playing guitar. "Somehow, everything I play sounds like the same thing: longing."
- "It's like I left some important part of myself at Pride, and I don't know how to get it back."
Also, if you're wondering why she wrote her book this way, this is a great interview!
Now to talk about a significant part of this book, We Are Lost and Found is set during the 80s and the AIDs epidemic. I'm usually hesitant when it comes to books set during real life events that are as heavy and difficult to talk about like the AIDs epidemic. Let me just say this: This is such a well researched YA novel set during this time. Since I got to read this book so early, I've been able to talk to Helene Dunbar herself and she's truly so passionate about this subject and the book itself. I strongly suggest you read both the Afterword and Acknowledgements when finishing this book. Also, read the interview I linked above. I'm ashamed to say I didn't know much about the AIDs epidemic besides the fact that it certainly did happen. This book exposes the most difficult and uneasy events that took place during the epidemic. There's a few scenes in this book that I marked because they were truly excellent and captured the experience of a young, LGBT+ boy in the 80s. One of the scenes is near the beginning of the book when Michael is reading the newspaper and reading the statistics and result of AIDs. Throughout the entire book, Michael is so utterly scared of AIDs -- whether it be him somehow obtaining it or his friends and brother. Another heartbreaking scene that captures the pure fear of the AIDs epidemic is when another side character ends up getting AIDs and his family doesn't even visit him even though he's dying because they're scared they'll get sick. These are such poignant scenes but they truly set the reader up for an eye opening read.
I'm planning to read more books about the AIDs epidemic since this one. I loved it even more than I thought I would. The writing was absolutely beautiful. Helene Dunbar wrote a book on such a complex topic and did it while being both poetic and light hearted at the same time. Don't get me wrong -- this book is a heavy read but it's well worth it. There's so much depth within this book that I didn't quite expect but I really enjoyed it.
On a more random note, I think this would make the perfect book club book. I really love reading this along with Amber. It gives you so much to talk about and makes for incredibly interesting conversations! As a reader, you also learn so much about the AIDs epidemic from the point of view of an LGBT+ teen. Truly remarkable!
I can't wait for this book to be released (I pre-ordered it right when I finished) so all of you can read it and hopefully love it as much as me! The description of this book seems quite accurate. I think this book has all of the things Perks of Being a Wallflower has so if you are a fan of that book, don't hesitate to pick this one up! You might love it as much as I did.
Find We Are Lost & Found at your local bookstore! It comes out September 3rd, 2019.
Find more of my reviews on my blog!
I'll have a full review going up closer to the release date. As for now, I'll be posting some thoughts over on my Instagram!
UPDATED:
My Rating: stars 5 ★★★★★ out of ★★★★★ stars (5/5)
I was kindly sent a physical copy of this book by Source Books Fire in exchange for a review. Thank you, Source Books! Any opinion is my own.
This review is SPOILER FREE!
TW: homophobia (unaccepting parents)
We Are Lost and Found is one of the rare books that I found the day it was posted to Edelweiss and emailed the publisher immediately. It had everything that I love in the description -- it was compared to Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, it's a coming-of-age story, it's set in the 80s and it follows LGBT+ teens during the AIDs epidemic. Not to mention, the cover is stunning.
Coming-of-age is one of my favorite genres for so many different reasons but I love how real the stories feel even if it's fiction. There's so much character development and personality throughout these types of stories. We Are Lost and Found was no different. As the reader, you follow Michael and his two best friends as they grow up in the middle of New York during the 1980s. Michael goes to this club often that's called the Echo, where he finds himself always dancing and forgetting. He's always hanging out with either Jamie -- the performer and artist or he's with Becky, an strong female character who's going through a lot at home.
Helene Dunbar was able to write such an interesting and fully developed cast of characters in about 300 pages. I loved all of them -- Michael, Jamie and Becky. They each had their own backstories and were nowhere near being flat side characters. They also felt incredibly realistic. I find that sometimes, in YA specifically, friend groups just seem so unrealistic and have me thinking "these people would NEVER be friends in real life" but this set of characters makes perfect sense. Jamie and Becky are never toxic and are so supportive. They're the most unproblematic side characters ever and I ADORE them.
Not only are the friendships in this book fantastic, but family is such a huge theme in this book. Michael's relationship with his parents and his brother plays a big part in this book. His brother is such a great character and I feel as if I relate to both of them. A lot of the times in YA books, families are often nowhere to be seen or also just incredibly unrealistic. It was a joy to see his family play a part in this book, even if it wasn't exactly for the best reason. I really enjoyed seeing Michael's relationship with his brother. Seeing them grow and have a healthier relationship near the end of this book is so rewarding and refreshing. On the other hand, Michael has a tough relationship with his parents and he never knows where he stands with them after knowing what they did to his brother. He feels trapped and it's so hard to read but it's so well done. I think a lot of readers, especially LGBT+ and closeted readers, will appreciate this.
Since this was the first ever book I've read by Helene Dunbar, I had no idea what to expect in terms of her writing style. I opened this book and quickly realized, "There's no quotations marks." I had been buddy reading this with Amber and I texted her about it immediately because to be completely honest, I think this might be one of the first non-classic books I've read with no quotation marks. I love dialogue and I'm not going to lie, I find myself skimming pages and just reading dialogue. Since this had no quotation marks, I obviously couldn't do that. This story is written in beautiful vignettes and yes, there's no quotation marks but DAMN, is it wonderful. I quickly fell in love her way of writing. I ended up marking up my review copy with pencil everywhere. I underlined anything I found funny or lyrical. I have so many quotes that I adored from this book and can't wait to like them all on Goodreads. Let me share some little quotes I underlined:
(please note that this is from an unfinished copy and that some of these quotes may be taken out, edited, or completely changed)
- "Happy. And that's the odd thing. Not being happy, but realizing it. Because how often, when you're happy, do you have the chance to step back and notice?"
- "Becky says to stay away. That sometimes wanting is better than having -- Whatever that means"
- In this scene, he's talking about playing guitar. "Somehow, everything I play sounds like the same thing: longing."
- "It's like I left some important part of myself at Pride, and I don't know how to get it back."
Also, if you're wondering why she wrote her book this way, this is a great interview!
Now to talk about a significant part of this book, We Are Lost and Found is set during the 80s and the AIDs epidemic. I'm usually hesitant when it comes to books set during real life events that are as heavy and difficult to talk about like the AIDs epidemic. Let me just say this: This is such a well researched YA novel set during this time. Since I got to read this book so early, I've been able to talk to Helene Dunbar herself and she's truly so passionate about this subject and the book itself. I strongly suggest you read both the Afterword and Acknowledgements when finishing this book. Also, read the interview I linked above. I'm ashamed to say I didn't know much about the AIDs epidemic besides the fact that it certainly did happen. This book exposes the most difficult and uneasy events that took place during the epidemic. There's a few scenes in this book that I marked because they were truly excellent and captured the experience of a young, LGBT+ boy in the 80s. One of the scenes is near the beginning of the book when Michael is reading the newspaper and reading the statistics and result of AIDs. Throughout the entire book, Michael is so utterly scared of AIDs -- whether it be him somehow obtaining it or his friends and brother. Another heartbreaking scene that captures the pure fear of the AIDs epidemic is when another side character ends up getting AIDs and his family doesn't even visit him even though he's dying because they're scared they'll get sick. These are such poignant scenes but they truly set the reader up for an eye opening read.
I'm planning to read more books about the AIDs epidemic since this one. I loved it even more than I thought I would. The writing was absolutely beautiful. Helene Dunbar wrote a book on such a complex topic and did it while being both poetic and light hearted at the same time. Don't get me wrong -- this book is a heavy read but it's well worth it. There's so much depth within this book that I didn't quite expect but I really enjoyed it.
On a more random note, I think this would make the perfect book club book. I really love reading this along with Amber. It gives you so much to talk about and makes for incredibly interesting conversations! As a reader, you also learn so much about the AIDs epidemic from the point of view of an LGBT+ teen. Truly remarkable!
I can't wait for this book to be released (I pre-ordered it right when I finished) so all of you can read it and hopefully love it as much as me! The description of this book seems quite accurate. I think this book has all of the things Perks of Being a Wallflower has so if you are a fan of that book, don't hesitate to pick this one up! You might love it as much as I did.
Find We Are Lost & Found at your local bookstore! It comes out September 3rd, 2019.
Find more of my reviews on my blog!
September 1, 2019
"This year you will create music. You will fall in love. You will find your place. You will be happy."
I don't hate this but I definitely don't love it either. There was potential here to be one of the best LGBTQ Contemporary Novels of 2019. But that was all thrown out the window by poor characterization, pretty much no plot, and truly a whack ending.
Even though I did enjoy many aspects of this book, I think the good and the bad are on equal levels and I just couldn't love it as I had hoped.
Review to come, very soon.
I don't hate this but I definitely don't love it either. There was potential here to be one of the best LGBTQ Contemporary Novels of 2019. But that was all thrown out the window by poor characterization, pretty much no plot, and truly a whack ending.
Even though I did enjoy many aspects of this book, I think the good and the bad are on equal levels and I just couldn't love it as I had hoped.
Review to come, very soon.
June 29, 2019
Apart from 'The Handmaid's Tale' by Margeret Atwood, this might be the most important novel that I had read thus far this year. As the synopsis had stated, the story is set in the 1980s, where societal attitudes toward homosexuality were not pleasant and the threat of AIDs was discommoding to the gay community as no one understood what was going on and how this disease was supposed to be prevented. This novel allows us to witness the struggles of the people back in the '80s which I will converse more on in the atmospheric section of this review.
This novel follows Michael, a closeted-gay whose father had recently banned his brother from coming home as he had come out to his parents for being gay. His plan was to lay low and not make irrational decisions in fear of being kicked out of the house like his brother by his father. His father, who was verbally abusive, tormented him with abhorrent terms day and night and the only way he could forget all of these for a little while was attending a club christened 'The Echo' where he danced it all out and dissipated himself in the flow. As the story progresses, the imminent threat of AIDs became more apparent and everybody in the gay community was afraid that they might catch the disease if they were to have sexual intercourse. This affected our main character on several levels as he was afraid for his best friend, James and his brother's lives.
The ambience around this novel was gripping, upsetting and agitating. Upsetting because of how the protagonist and his brother were treated at home. Gripping because of how the threat of AIDs was exterminating people and that there was not an excavated prevention to AIDs as they do not understand what it was back in the '80s. Agitating because of how society treated people who were gay back then and it tugged at my heartstrings to read about it.
Similar to the writing style of 'The Handmaid's Tale', the writing style of this novel lacked quotation marks. To be honest, I do not like this kind of writing style as it does not correlate with me and I would also be confused half of the time by the lack of quotations. A sample to how lack of quotations in writing style goes in my brain: Is the character conversing? Is he having an internal monologue? Is he exhibiting his emotions or is he saying his feeling out loud? What? Oh, he is conversing with James. Other than the paucity of quotations, I thought the writing style was well-rounded and polished in a debonair manner. Moreover, I could not stop excerpting the book as the whole book was so quotable. For example:
"Her answer feels wrong. Limited. Like, there have to be more than two options."
"Rules. My father's rules: Don't make noise. Don't draw the wrong kind of attention to yourself. Don't stand up for anything you believe in. Don't show any emotion that isn't anger. Don't be yourself."
"Books. Cassettes. Tiny origami shapes: dragons and roses and stars. My father sneers at these gifts when I don't get to them first."
GOOSEBUMPS, am I right?
An element in the book which I did not particularly enjoy was the incessant repetition of our protagonist going to The Echo to dance. It took several homogeneous scenes of our protagonist rollicking in The Echo for something to finally transpire. I thought if those scenes could be shortened down and the plot was to be impelled forward without those verbose displays, this would absolutely be an irreproachable book (exclude the quotation marks).
In conclusion, I am furnishing this novel with a (B) 75%. I thought it was an important novel that should be read by everyone as it would give you an insight into the '80s and how people were treated back then with the emerging fulminations of AIDs.
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"But it's like going back to your old elementary school to visit your teachers and finding the water fountains too low to reach. Maybe The Echo hasn't changed, but I have."
This novel follows Michael, a closeted-gay whose father had recently banned his brother from coming home as he had come out to his parents for being gay. His plan was to lay low and not make irrational decisions in fear of being kicked out of the house like his brother by his father. His father, who was verbally abusive, tormented him with abhorrent terms day and night and the only way he could forget all of these for a little while was attending a club christened 'The Echo' where he danced it all out and dissipated himself in the flow. As the story progresses, the imminent threat of AIDs became more apparent and everybody in the gay community was afraid that they might catch the disease if they were to have sexual intercourse. This affected our main character on several levels as he was afraid for his best friend, James and his brother's lives.
"Oh, Michael, seriously? What do you think they said? That it was random. Wrong place, wrong time. That sort of thing. But even if they’d caught someone, you know how these things play out. They’ll claim I made a pass as them, that they simply couldn’t help but protect themselves from the onslaught of my passions. As if."
The ambience around this novel was gripping, upsetting and agitating. Upsetting because of how the protagonist and his brother were treated at home. Gripping because of how the threat of AIDs was exterminating people and that there was not an excavated prevention to AIDs as they do not understand what it was back in the '80s. Agitating because of how society treated people who were gay back then and it tugged at my heartstrings to read about it.
"James hesitated because he knows I hate inviting myself to places. The feeling that I might be intruding."
Similar to the writing style of 'The Handmaid's Tale', the writing style of this novel lacked quotation marks. To be honest, I do not like this kind of writing style as it does not correlate with me and I would also be confused half of the time by the lack of quotations. A sample to how lack of quotations in writing style goes in my brain: Is the character conversing? Is he having an internal monologue? Is he exhibiting his emotions or is he saying his feeling out loud? What? Oh, he is conversing with James. Other than the paucity of quotations, I thought the writing style was well-rounded and polished in a debonair manner. Moreover, I could not stop excerpting the book as the whole book was so quotable. For example:
"Her answer feels wrong. Limited. Like, there have to be more than two options."
"Rules. My father's rules: Don't make noise. Don't draw the wrong kind of attention to yourself. Don't stand up for anything you believe in. Don't show any emotion that isn't anger. Don't be yourself."
"Books. Cassettes. Tiny origami shapes: dragons and roses and stars. My father sneers at these gifts when I don't get to them first."
GOOSEBUMPS, am I right?
An element in the book which I did not particularly enjoy was the incessant repetition of our protagonist going to The Echo to dance. It took several homogeneous scenes of our protagonist rollicking in The Echo for something to finally transpire. I thought if those scenes could be shortened down and the plot was to be impelled forward without those verbose displays, this would absolutely be an irreproachable book (exclude the quotation marks).
In conclusion, I am furnishing this novel with a (B) 75%. I thought it was an important novel that should be read by everyone as it would give you an insight into the '80s and how people were treated back then with the emerging fulminations of AIDs.
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January 18, 2024
julian morris of pll fame promised me an adaptation. well. where is it julian
August 31, 2020
I'm... still not sure what I think of this??? it was just boring and I hated the writing and just . . . idk what was even the point
Read
July 9, 2019. : ☾⋆ — 3 ★
READ THIS REVIEW ON MY BLOG!!
https://bit.ly/2XrTPvg
ARC provided from the publisher in exchange for an honest review (thank you Sourcebooks Fire!!)
I don’t know how to balance my feelings for We Are Lost and Found over its objective importance and relevance because of the subject it encompasses, so I’m just gonna go somewhere in the middle with my rating here. my opinion is obviously relative and completely subjective so I wouldn’t take it to heart if I were you.
I’ll just rip the bandaid off—I wish this book hadn’t been written the way it’s been written. the reality of the AIDS crisis is represented stunningly, but Helene Dunbar’s choice of writing this book in spatters and vignettes, and following it up by excluding quotation marks altogether? I don’t know. it made the characters distant, impersonal and scattered. I couldn’t connect with Michael’s voice at all no matter how badly I wanted to because I literally couldn’t tell when he was narrating and when someone else was speaking, and to be honest it was just a weird choice? it didn’t help the story flow. it didn’t add anything to the prose. so why exclude such an intrinsic part of the narrative? and why write it in such a choppy and disjointed way in the first place? it broke any existing relationship between the characters and the reader, or at least that’s what it felt like to me.
still, We Are Lost and Found is beautiful in its preservation of LGBT+ history, and I respect that. I love how well researched this book is and I love the end notes from people who actually experienced the AIDS epidemic firsthand. there’s unfortunately something about the writing in We Are Lost and Found that doesn’t make Michael’s experience quite as tangible and impactful as these particular end notes, but I’ll bite. this is still a gorgeous book, and it’s staggeringly breathtaking in the message it gets across. I just really, genuinely wish it hadn’t been written the way it’s been written. thanks again to Sourcebooks Fire for a free copy of We Are Lost and Found!
READ THIS REVIEW ON MY BLOG!!
https://bit.ly/2XrTPvg
ARC provided from the publisher in exchange for an honest review (thank you Sourcebooks Fire!!)
I don’t know how to balance my feelings for We Are Lost and Found over its objective importance and relevance because of the subject it encompasses, so I’m just gonna go somewhere in the middle with my rating here. my opinion is obviously relative and completely subjective so I wouldn’t take it to heart if I were you.
I’ll just rip the bandaid off—I wish this book hadn’t been written the way it’s been written. the reality of the AIDS crisis is represented stunningly, but Helene Dunbar’s choice of writing this book in spatters and vignettes, and following it up by excluding quotation marks altogether? I don’t know. it made the characters distant, impersonal and scattered. I couldn’t connect with Michael’s voice at all no matter how badly I wanted to because I literally couldn’t tell when he was narrating and when someone else was speaking, and to be honest it was just a weird choice? it didn’t help the story flow. it didn’t add anything to the prose. so why exclude such an intrinsic part of the narrative? and why write it in such a choppy and disjointed way in the first place? it broke any existing relationship between the characters and the reader, or at least that’s what it felt like to me.
still, We Are Lost and Found is beautiful in its preservation of LGBT+ history, and I respect that. I love how well researched this book is and I love the end notes from people who actually experienced the AIDS epidemic firsthand. there’s unfortunately something about the writing in We Are Lost and Found that doesn’t make Michael’s experience quite as tangible and impactful as these particular end notes, but I’ll bite. this is still a gorgeous book, and it’s staggeringly breathtaking in the message it gets across. I just really, genuinely wish it hadn’t been written the way it’s been written. thanks again to Sourcebooks Fire for a free copy of We Are Lost and Found!
August 9, 2021
I finished this book and wow! It was incredible. So emotional. Heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. I’m just gonna say that it is a lot sadder, and the setting is much darker (1983 - NYC, AIDS epidemic), than your typical YA Contemporary books.
The writing was beautiful. Unique, and slightly weird during the first 40-50 pages, but once you get used to it, you cannot help but admit that it’s simply beautiful. It reminded me so much of the writing style of We Contain Multitudes, and it made me so happy, because while that one was incredibly problematic, this was the exact opposite of problematic!!
I also appreciated how the author kept this book short and precise. She didn’t fall into the trap of filling pages just to “hit a mark”.
I felt in love with all of the characters. And I most of all cannot get over Michael’s and James’s friendship. It was nice seeing a YA book not “ship” and “force into a couple” two best friends.
Last, but not least: this was extremely eye-opening and educational. It’s really nice living in 2021 and thinking that every single person in the LGBTQ+ community was born in this era of (mostly) acceptance and love. It’s really hard for us, today, to understand that it wasn’t always like this. People had to FIGHT for their rights, and thus for ours too! While we may not live in a perfect world, it’s definitely a lot better than the one Michael lived in 1982/3.
TW/CW: homophobia, homophobic slurs, racism, violence (beating up scene), death & suffering caused by STDs.
Representation: LGBTQ+ (gay MC + side characters) characters, BIPOC (side characters).
The writing was beautiful. Unique, and slightly weird during the first 40-50 pages, but once you get used to it, you cannot help but admit that it’s simply beautiful. It reminded me so much of the writing style of We Contain Multitudes, and it made me so happy, because while that one was incredibly problematic, this was the exact opposite of problematic!!
I also appreciated how the author kept this book short and precise. She didn’t fall into the trap of filling pages just to “hit a mark”.
I felt in love with all of the characters. And I most of all cannot get over Michael’s and James’s friendship. It was nice seeing a YA book not “ship” and “force into a couple” two best friends.
Last, but not least: this was extremely eye-opening and educational. It’s really nice living in 2021 and thinking that every single person in the LGBTQ+ community was born in this era of (mostly) acceptance and love. It’s really hard for us, today, to understand that it wasn’t always like this. People had to FIGHT for their rights, and thus for ours too! While we may not live in a perfect world, it’s definitely a lot better than the one Michael lived in 1982/3.
TW/CW: homophobia, homophobic slurs, racism, violence (beating up scene), death & suffering caused by STDs.
Representation: LGBTQ+ (gay MC + side characters) characters, BIPOC (side characters).
March 31, 2019
Helene Dunbar recalls the poignant early years of the AIDS crisis through the experiences of a compelling, diverse group of teenagers in early 1980s New York City. Fear, love, violence, longing, confusion and passion battle for primacy as Michael struggles with budding desire, a threatening father, a hostile world and a nascent plague. Cohorts Becky and James round out the cast of main characters, adding depth and feeling. Dunbar balances hope with risk and dread with possibility, deftly constructing a plot which buoys the story which, in less skilled hands, could be too depressing or unrealistically blithe. Her prose is beautiful and haunting, her characters affecting, true and skillfully crafted. I’m an #ownvoices reader; trust me: she nails it. Five stars is not enough.
P.S. You can't help but want the soundtrack.
P.S. You can't help but want the soundtrack.
January 5, 2020
I really enjoyed this one, and I struggle with knowing what to rate it. I feel like it's one of those books that the more I think about it, the more I will love it. I liked the characters, and it was beautifully written in a way that really reflected the way in which Michael felt like an outsider. The topic of the book is obviously heartbreaking, and I think the author explored it with thought and care. I was worried that this was going to be a replica of Like a Love Story , because to me the synopses sounded similar, but this had a different tone, a different style and a different story to tell altogether. Please read this book, as it is so completely underrated.
August 30, 2019
This is a difficult book for me to review, while I was not over the top as I expected it did capture my attention. I always look for a great, well told Y/A coming of age book. This story had so much involved, real emotions, connections and all the spectrum of emotion. The writing was interesting constantly being in Michael's thoughts could be over the top at times.
Want to read
October 5, 2019That cover gives me We Are Okay feels.
December 18, 2021
This is not an easy book. I can't say I know the period because I wasn't even born when the book starts, but I read a couple of books about being gay in the 1980s and I'm glad of everything we have acheived so far. Sure, it's false to say that everyone is safe today, but tolerance, and acceptance, of differences is better today, I think. I am glad to know that my kids will evolve in a society where differences are not margenalized, but normalized.
I really liked it. However, I give this book 3 stars because of the writing style that wasn't for me. I forced myself to go on, and I'm really glad I did because I usually don't push myself to read. The story was really important to me so I wanted to continue reading it.
Many thanks to Sourcebooks Fire for the complimentary physical copy through the Early Reads Program!
I really liked it. However, I give this book 3 stars because of the writing style that wasn't for me. I forced myself to go on, and I'm really glad I did because I usually don't push myself to read. The story was really important to me so I wanted to continue reading it.
Many thanks to Sourcebooks Fire for the complimentary physical copy through the Early Reads Program!
September 19, 2019
"Change can hurt, but the pain always leads to something better."
TW: homophobia, abuse, drugs, alcohol, racism, bullying
Unpopular Opinion time 🐸☕️
Actual rating: 2.5 ⭐️
Let us start with the positive.
I truly appreciated the setting.
The fears and doubts of the early 1980s dictated by AIDS and the overall strongly queer-phobic society were perfectly depicted through the thoughts and actions of the characters.
Another thing that I liked was the afterwards present at the end written by people who lived and experienced these years of fear, violent homophobia and uncertainties. They grounded the Michael’s story in a way.
And that’s all, I’m sad to say.
We are Lost and Found had an interesting and difficult setting that was its beating heart; unfortunately, though, there were a lot of other aspects and tropes in this book that simply did not work for me.
Actually, the majority of this book did not work for me.
The main character having a crush on the childhood friend is one of those tropes that I am not particularly a fan of.
The insta-love between Michael and Gabriel was also something that I could have lived without.
The absence of quotation marks to indicate the dialogues is a big no-no for me. I am glad I listened to the audiobook for this one, which was very good btw. The narrator did different voices for the different characters and so I understood when it was dialogue, when it was simple internal monologue, and who was actually talking.
Other aspect that I was not really thrilled about was the writing style.
It was more of a stream of conscious, some pieces of Michael’s life and mind throughout a year. Thus, the writing style was rather choppy, jumpy and disjointed.
Because of this, I could not connect with the characters whatsoever. And I was bummed about it because the topic handled were so personal and intimate, I wanted a stronger connection with them. But I felt as if there was alway a wall between me and their feelings.
Another thing was that I think there was too much packed in this short book.
The plot developed over the span of a year and many events occurred; it was a bit too much.
Indeed, often this read more like a list of events – separated and detached because of the writing style – rather than a story with moments connected to one another. There was a lot: fears because of the AIDS, fears because of the homophobia, fears because of the future, fears because of new relationships, fear because of abusive parents and their problematic lives, what to do after school ended, what to do in general, who to be, how to deal with abusive parents, how to engage with religion, how to get in contact with an almost estranged brother, how to save a troublesome family, and I’m sure I’m forgetting something – yeah, it was a lot.
It was definitely too much to pack in such a short book. That made for a messy and superficial story.
Nothing was truly the center of the story; everything was the center of the story. Nothing was the focus; everything was the focus. Sometimes less is more, and I really do believe that this book would have benefited from this less-ness.
Alas, that was not the case.
So, for as much as we were in Michael’s head, I did not feel any kind of attachment towards him mainly because there were too many things to handle at once.
We were in his head but I cannot say that, by the end of the book, I got to know him – he remained at arm’s length and therefore shallow.
He kept on mentioning his love for music and whatnot, but it was a lot of talking and no showing. It felt like an empty hobby to use simply to characterize him as something different from his friends. His supposed love for music was so general and, I’d say, fake it was impossible to actually believe that he truly had a passion for it.
And okay, he was a sixteen-year-old kid, but I thought he was a bit too obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend. As if that was the most important thing he could have; as if that was the only reason to be alive. But I also understood how important and stuck in his mind all this was. His obsession over sex and boyfriends was also dictated by the AIDS crisis and the homophobia he had to face while home.
But still. I cannot say I enjoyed being in his head.
Becky, on the other hand, was an interesting character that did not get enough attention, in my opinion. Her problematic family situation (her mother is a drug addict) was mentioned countless of times but was not developed. Which I thought was a missed chance. The mother and her drug addiction were always brought up but never tackled. So, just like Michale, she felt rather two-dimensional and without a personality.
James was a bit too much like a manic pixie dream boy, and sometimes I just rolled my eyes at his quirkiness – so maybe he had a bit too much of a personality! He always had this mysterious aura around him which slightly rubbed me the wrong way. In fact, by the end of the book we know about him as much as we did at the beginning of the book, which is to say: absolutely nothing. No characterization whatsoever and no growth.
The three characters were all shallow and superficial and not really unique human being. They were kinda boring to read about, tbh.
So, in the end, what was up with We Are Lost and Found?
I was not a fan of the characters (two-dimensional and superficial);
I did not like the writing style (disjointed and jumpy);
I was underwhelmed by the plot (not clear and too full of problems and topics that were not handled)
Only thing I appreciated was the setting, the two afterwards at the end of the book and the depiction of the AIDS crisis.
What a pity.
"I’m going to own my fear.
Own my voice.
Own my love.
Own my life.
And I’m not giving any of them up without a fight."
TW: homophobia, abuse, drugs, alcohol, racism, bullying
Unpopular Opinion time 🐸☕️
Actual rating: 2.5 ⭐️
Let us start with the positive.
I truly appreciated the setting.
The fears and doubts of the early 1980s dictated by AIDS and the overall strongly queer-phobic society were perfectly depicted through the thoughts and actions of the characters.
Another thing that I liked was the afterwards present at the end written by people who lived and experienced these years of fear, violent homophobia and uncertainties. They grounded the Michael’s story in a way.
And that’s all, I’m sad to say.
We are Lost and Found had an interesting and difficult setting that was its beating heart; unfortunately, though, there were a lot of other aspects and tropes in this book that simply did not work for me.
Actually, the majority of this book did not work for me.
The main character having a crush on the childhood friend is one of those tropes that I am not particularly a fan of.
The insta-love between Michael and Gabriel was also something that I could have lived without.
The absence of quotation marks to indicate the dialogues is a big no-no for me. I am glad I listened to the audiobook for this one, which was very good btw. The narrator did different voices for the different characters and so I understood when it was dialogue, when it was simple internal monologue, and who was actually talking.
Other aspect that I was not really thrilled about was the writing style.
It was more of a stream of conscious, some pieces of Michael’s life and mind throughout a year. Thus, the writing style was rather choppy, jumpy and disjointed.
Because of this, I could not connect with the characters whatsoever. And I was bummed about it because the topic handled were so personal and intimate, I wanted a stronger connection with them. But I felt as if there was alway a wall between me and their feelings.
Another thing was that I think there was too much packed in this short book.
The plot developed over the span of a year and many events occurred; it was a bit too much.
Indeed, often this read more like a list of events – separated and detached because of the writing style – rather than a story with moments connected to one another. There was a lot: fears because of the AIDS, fears because of the homophobia, fears because of the future, fears because of new relationships, fear because of abusive parents and their problematic lives, what to do after school ended, what to do in general, who to be, how to deal with abusive parents, how to engage with religion, how to get in contact with an almost estranged brother, how to save a troublesome family, and I’m sure I’m forgetting something – yeah, it was a lot.
It was definitely too much to pack in such a short book. That made for a messy and superficial story.
Nothing was truly the center of the story; everything was the center of the story. Nothing was the focus; everything was the focus. Sometimes less is more, and I really do believe that this book would have benefited from this less-ness.
Alas, that was not the case.
So, for as much as we were in Michael’s head, I did not feel any kind of attachment towards him mainly because there were too many things to handle at once.
We were in his head but I cannot say that, by the end of the book, I got to know him – he remained at arm’s length and therefore shallow.
He kept on mentioning his love for music and whatnot, but it was a lot of talking and no showing. It felt like an empty hobby to use simply to characterize him as something different from his friends. His supposed love for music was so general and, I’d say, fake it was impossible to actually believe that he truly had a passion for it.
And okay, he was a sixteen-year-old kid, but I thought he was a bit too obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend. As if that was the most important thing he could have; as if that was the only reason to be alive. But I also understood how important and stuck in his mind all this was. His obsession over sex and boyfriends was also dictated by the AIDS crisis and the homophobia he had to face while home.
But still. I cannot say I enjoyed being in his head.
Becky, on the other hand, was an interesting character that did not get enough attention, in my opinion. Her problematic family situation (her mother is a drug addict) was mentioned countless of times but was not developed. Which I thought was a missed chance. The mother and her drug addiction were always brought up but never tackled. So, just like Michale, she felt rather two-dimensional and without a personality.
James was a bit too much like a manic pixie dream boy, and sometimes I just rolled my eyes at his quirkiness – so maybe he had a bit too much of a personality! He always had this mysterious aura around him which slightly rubbed me the wrong way. In fact, by the end of the book we know about him as much as we did at the beginning of the book, which is to say: absolutely nothing. No characterization whatsoever and no growth.
The three characters were all shallow and superficial and not really unique human being. They were kinda boring to read about, tbh.
So, in the end, what was up with We Are Lost and Found?
I was not a fan of the characters (two-dimensional and superficial);
I did not like the writing style (disjointed and jumpy);
I was underwhelmed by the plot (not clear and too full of problems and topics that were not handled)
Only thing I appreciated was the setting, the two afterwards at the end of the book and the depiction of the AIDS crisis.
What a pity.
"I’m going to own my fear.
Own my voice.
Own my love.
Own my life.
And I’m not giving any of them up without a fight."
September 24, 2019
My name is Michael Bartolomeo and I'm scared.
Scared I'm never going to be able to look anyone in the eye and admit to being gay.
Scared I'm never going to feel safe showing someone I love them in public.
Scared I'm going to die.
Scared they're all going to convince me to stay silent.
Scared I'm going to let them.
Silence is not the answer.
This is one of those books I want to shove at my homophobic classmates to be like "PLEASE JUST SHUT UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT". I'm not going to say any more about this book other than "Read it."
_________________________
Songs I associate with this book:
Upper West Side by King Princess
https://youtu.be/62fsOE7rZx8
Somebody Told Me by The Killers
https://youtu.be/Y5fBdpreJiU
Scared I'm never going to be able to look anyone in the eye and admit to being gay.
Scared I'm never going to feel safe showing someone I love them in public.
Scared I'm going to die.
Scared they're all going to convince me to stay silent.
Scared I'm going to let them.
Silence is not the answer.
This is one of those books I want to shove at my homophobic classmates to be like "PLEASE JUST SHUT UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT". I'm not going to say any more about this book other than "Read it."
_________________________
Songs I associate with this book:
Upper West Side by King Princess
https://youtu.be/62fsOE7rZx8
Somebody Told Me by The Killers
https://youtu.be/Y5fBdpreJiU
June 7, 2021
“I don’t know how I’m going to keep everyone I care about safe. Or if I can. Or what safe even means. But I’m going to own my fear. Own my voice. Own my love. Own my life. And I’m not giving any of them up without a fight.”
— we are lost and found, helene dunbar
I can see why a story written in vignettes and without quotations could turn people off from reading this novel but I implore you to just get over yourself.
‘We are Lost and Found’ is a story about self-discovery, fear, family (the true kind), friendship, community, art, music, and above all else: love.
Michael struggles the whole novel trying to repair the broken things around him while fearing what coming out might mean in a world where gay men are dying and no one seems to know why or even care. We get to experience NYC in the early 80’s, all the fun bits, the scary bits, and the magical bits.
This book is a reminder of a beautiful generation of queer people who were sustained solely by loving each other — something I believe we need more of these days.
(p.s.: i gave it 4 stars instead of 5 cos the love story didn’t go in the direction i wanted & i’m petty LOL)
— we are lost and found, helene dunbar
I can see why a story written in vignettes and without quotations could turn people off from reading this novel but I implore you to just get over yourself.
‘We are Lost and Found’ is a story about self-discovery, fear, family (the true kind), friendship, community, art, music, and above all else: love.
Michael struggles the whole novel trying to repair the broken things around him while fearing what coming out might mean in a world where gay men are dying and no one seems to know why or even care. We get to experience NYC in the early 80’s, all the fun bits, the scary bits, and the magical bits.
This book is a reminder of a beautiful generation of queer people who were sustained solely by loving each other — something I believe we need more of these days.
(p.s.: i gave it 4 stars instead of 5 cos the love story didn’t go in the direction i wanted & i’m petty LOL)
June 22, 2018
I got to read an early draft of this book from the author and it's now one of my favorites. I love it with all my heart and would have hugged it if I could. It's uplifting and empowering with an amazing ensemble cast of 1980's characters that you can't help but adore. Very eighties! A spectacular tapestry of imagery and emotion. Lyrical, poetic, joyful, exuberant, and un-put-downable.
July 27, 2019
"Silence is not the answer."
Hauntingly beautiful and intimidating. The kind of book that stays with you not because you want it to, but because it needs you to hold on for a little while longer.
Hauntingly beautiful and intimidating. The kind of book that stays with you not because you want it to, but because it needs you to hold on for a little while longer.
July 4, 2021
audiobook
I want to change the world, he says, horrified. I want be true to myself. I have no wish to be in a box.
I want to change the world, he says, horrified. I want be true to myself. I have no wish to be in a box.
September 2, 2019
4.5*
We Are Lost and Found is a poignant story of 3 best friends coming of age in NYC, in the early 80s, just at the start of the AIDS crisis. While WALAF deals with your typical teen woes of high school and what to do after graduation, friendships, love, and finding yourself, it also delves deeper into teen sexuality and AIDS, and what that meant for Michael and his friends during that time.
As a teen in the 80s who grew up in a small town, this book gave me a new perspective on what AIDS was like for kids in the "big" city. To be honest, AIDS was such an abstract idea for me, and I think for many of my friends, until the 90s, when Magic Johnson announced he had been diagnosed with it, and Freddy Mercury died from complications of it. I really appreciate the attention and care Ms. Dunbar put into writing this story, showing a side of that time in history that many, myself included, may not have thought about.
I'm sure there are people who won't care for this book, based purely on the way Ms. Dunbar has chosen to structure it- writing in vignettes and the lack of quotation marks, but I felt like that just added to the overall feel of the story.
We Are Lost and Found is a poignant story of 3 best friends coming of age in NYC, in the early 80s, just at the start of the AIDS crisis. While WALAF deals with your typical teen woes of high school and what to do after graduation, friendships, love, and finding yourself, it also delves deeper into teen sexuality and AIDS, and what that meant for Michael and his friends during that time.
As a teen in the 80s who grew up in a small town, this book gave me a new perspective on what AIDS was like for kids in the "big" city. To be honest, AIDS was such an abstract idea for me, and I think for many of my friends, until the 90s, when Magic Johnson announced he had been diagnosed with it, and Freddy Mercury died from complications of it. I really appreciate the attention and care Ms. Dunbar put into writing this story, showing a side of that time in history that many, myself included, may not have thought about.
I'm sure there are people who won't care for this book, based purely on the way Ms. Dunbar has chosen to structure it- writing in vignettes and the lack of quotation marks, but I felt like that just added to the overall feel of the story.
October 9, 2019
Actual Rating: 4.75 stars!
--
I feel like there have been quite a few YA contemporary novels that have taken place in the 1980's that focus on the LGBTQ+ community lately and I hope there are many more to come. Not only does this story showcase what it was like to live in a time where there was no information provided about a disease that felt as though it was targeting your specific community, but it was also educational and informative.
I absolutely LOVED this novel and believe it is an important book that everyone should read.
--
Note: I am currently on a hiatus from reviewing. I need a bit of a break from the pressures of reading, so I'm just going with the flow this year. I'll obviously still be reading, but at my own pace and when I feel like it. Thank you for understanding!
September 18, 2019
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight .
4.5*
We Are Lost and Found is a truly moving book about a young gay man trying to discover who he is and who he wants to become at the dawn of the AIDS crisis. Here are some of the many reasons why it's worth reading:
• The author does an amazing job of making the reader feel like we're in the midst of 1983 New York City. I wasn't aware of the world in 1983, nor that of the struggles of the gay community dealing with the bombshell that was AIDS. But the author brings it all to life so very vividly that I found myself completely immersed in it all. I never lived in a world without AIDS, I was born just a month before this book starts. But I do remember the stigma, even a decade (or more, to be true) later. There's still stigma, if we're being honest, though there shouldn't be. But when Michael is telling his story, it's the height of stigma. In fact, AIDS is only just being referred to as such (it had previously been dubbed Gay Related Immune Deficiency, or GRID, which is just... wow. This book puts the reader in the eyes of one gay man who is terrified, yes, but all those around him who are also experiencing these same fears and uncertainties.
• The reader walks this journey with Michael. The book is told as a stream of thought from Michael, and it puts us firmly into his life, his feelings, his worries. We experience every emotion that Michael has living as a gay man whose family has a history of cruel and antipathetic response to this news. Michael doesn't have to guess how his parents will react to his being gay; they've already kicked out and virtually disowned his older brother Connor for the same reason. We experience the ups and downs of his friendships, his romantic desires and relationships, his fears, his hopes. His journey is presented in such a genuine, compassionate, and thoughtful way that it's impossible not to care for him.
• Speaking of side characters, they're all incredibly well developed. Some of them you'll adore (like Becky and James, especially) and some you'll want to throttle (Michael's garbage parents, namely) but they all feel incredibly authentic. Michael's ever-changing relationship with Connor feels so relatable for all siblings. The only relationship, ironically, that I didn't feel a huge connection to was Michael's relationship with Gabriel. He was okay and I wanted Michael to be happy, but I just didn't feel a huge connection to him.
• The Afterwords and Author's Note are incredibly moving. When this book was announced, I remember some backlash about whether this was the author's story to tell. After reading the afterwards from men who have lived this life and helped her with the book, and reading her own story, I think she did a tremendous job of giving a voice to these men (and gay men coming of age in this era in general), so I urge you to see for yourself. That said, I think an ownvoices novel in a similar vein would be incredible, and I am here for that as well.
Bottom Line: Emotionally charged and full of heart and love, this is a book that is sure to stay with me for a long time.
4.5*
We Are Lost and Found is a truly moving book about a young gay man trying to discover who he is and who he wants to become at the dawn of the AIDS crisis. Here are some of the many reasons why it's worth reading:
• The author does an amazing job of making the reader feel like we're in the midst of 1983 New York City. I wasn't aware of the world in 1983, nor that of the struggles of the gay community dealing with the bombshell that was AIDS. But the author brings it all to life so very vividly that I found myself completely immersed in it all. I never lived in a world without AIDS, I was born just a month before this book starts. But I do remember the stigma, even a decade (or more, to be true) later. There's still stigma, if we're being honest, though there shouldn't be. But when Michael is telling his story, it's the height of stigma. In fact, AIDS is only just being referred to as such (it had previously been dubbed Gay Related Immune Deficiency, or GRID, which is just... wow. This book puts the reader in the eyes of one gay man who is terrified, yes, but all those around him who are also experiencing these same fears and uncertainties.
• The reader walks this journey with Michael. The book is told as a stream of thought from Michael, and it puts us firmly into his life, his feelings, his worries. We experience every emotion that Michael has living as a gay man whose family has a history of cruel and antipathetic response to this news. Michael doesn't have to guess how his parents will react to his being gay; they've already kicked out and virtually disowned his older brother Connor for the same reason. We experience the ups and downs of his friendships, his romantic desires and relationships, his fears, his hopes. His journey is presented in such a genuine, compassionate, and thoughtful way that it's impossible not to care for him.
• Speaking of side characters, they're all incredibly well developed. Some of them you'll adore (like Becky and James, especially) and some you'll want to throttle (Michael's garbage parents, namely) but they all feel incredibly authentic. Michael's ever-changing relationship with Connor feels so relatable for all siblings. The only relationship, ironically, that I didn't feel a huge connection to was Michael's relationship with Gabriel. He was okay and I wanted Michael to be happy, but I just didn't feel a huge connection to him.
• The Afterwords and Author's Note are incredibly moving. When this book was announced, I remember some backlash about whether this was the author's story to tell. After reading the afterwards from men who have lived this life and helped her with the book, and reading her own story, I think she did a tremendous job of giving a voice to these men (and gay men coming of age in this era in general), so I urge you to see for yourself. That said, I think an ownvoices novel in a similar vein would be incredible, and I am here for that as well.
Bottom Line: Emotionally charged and full of heart and love, this is a book that is sure to stay with me for a long time.
March 15, 2020
Arc kindly provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you.
We are lost and found was quietly stunning. To be honest it really got me. the discussion of AIDS and the fear in everyone especially the gay community was respectfully and informatively handled. Dunbar is a pro.
The prose in this book was spectacular while i was reading this book i was highlighting and making notes like a crazy person. You bet i’m picking up a finished copy when it comes out.
WHAT IS THIS BOOK
We are lost and found follows a boy named Michael struggling to come to terms with himself and who he is as a person. He knows he is gay and he knows that he can’t come out without being kicked out like his brother, Connor. Michael also- like every other hormonal teenager -wants to have sex but in the 80s where the fear of contracting AIDS is ever present he refuses to take those steps. After meeting Gabriel, a boy who shows him what it feels like to be alive, he starts wondering about what people’s silence about AIDS is doing to the fear inside of himself and everyone else.
MICHAEL
Michael is relatable in a way that is almost confusing. It’s like I know you are a mess and i’m a mess but we are two completely different messes but in our hearts we understand each other. He’s hurting. He’s broken. He’s scared. HES A GAY TEEN. How relatable. Michaels relationship with his friends Becky and James made me extremely happy. The fact that James also being gay didn’t make them a couple was something i’ve rarely seen and appreciated greatly.
Wow.
Michaels relationship with his brother was another aspect of this book that i found really interesting. Connor seemed to be used as a cautionary tale for Michael not only because of his coming out and the response from their parents but also the way Connor leads his life as a 20 year in New York during the 80s. One thing i absolutely loved was the exploration of Michaels fear and displacement. He has no idea what he’s doing and that’s real crap man.
What i didn’t like
Now something i didn’t like about this book was the way the author glossed over Gabriel’s character. Like excuse me i know that boy has secrets TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE. I also tend to enjoy open endings but this one annoyed me because there is literally no context to why Gabriel is there he just is there. It was weird. Also I have a lot of questions that were never answered. Hello what’s up with James?? Gabriel who are you? and Becky why haven’t you dumped Andy?????
Overall i think this book is most importantly a story about being a gay boy during the AIDS crisis while also having a homophobic butt of a dad. So basically it’s about trying to find your place in a world that’s confusing and messy and weird and that my friends is real.
happy pride month!!!!
🏳️🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
ITS GAYYYYYYYYY 😊
We are lost and found was quietly stunning. To be honest it really got me. the discussion of AIDS and the fear in everyone especially the gay community was respectfully and informatively handled. Dunbar is a pro.
The prose in this book was spectacular while i was reading this book i was highlighting and making notes like a crazy person. You bet i’m picking up a finished copy when it comes out.
WHAT IS THIS BOOK
We are lost and found follows a boy named Michael struggling to come to terms with himself and who he is as a person. He knows he is gay and he knows that he can’t come out without being kicked out like his brother, Connor. Michael also- like every other hormonal teenager -wants to have sex but in the 80s where the fear of contracting AIDS is ever present he refuses to take those steps. After meeting Gabriel, a boy who shows him what it feels like to be alive, he starts wondering about what people’s silence about AIDS is doing to the fear inside of himself and everyone else.
MICHAEL
Michael is relatable in a way that is almost confusing. It’s like I know you are a mess and i’m a mess but we are two completely different messes but in our hearts we understand each other. He’s hurting. He’s broken. He’s scared. HES A GAY TEEN. How relatable. Michaels relationship with his friends Becky and James made me extremely happy. The fact that James also being gay didn’t make them a couple was something i’ve rarely seen and appreciated greatly.
Wow.
Michaels relationship with his brother was another aspect of this book that i found really interesting. Connor seemed to be used as a cautionary tale for Michael not only because of his coming out and the response from their parents but also the way Connor leads his life as a 20 year in New York during the 80s. One thing i absolutely loved was the exploration of Michaels fear and displacement. He has no idea what he’s doing and that’s real crap man.
What i didn’t like
Now something i didn’t like about this book was the way the author glossed over Gabriel’s character. Like excuse me i know that boy has secrets TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE. I also tend to enjoy open endings but this one annoyed me because there is literally no context to why Gabriel is there he just is there. It was weird. Also I have a lot of questions that were never answered. Hello what’s up with James?? Gabriel who are you? and Becky why haven’t you dumped Andy?????
Overall i think this book is most importantly a story about being a gay boy during the AIDS crisis while also having a homophobic butt of a dad. So basically it’s about trying to find your place in a world that’s confusing and messy and weird and that my friends is real.
happy pride month!!!!
🏳️🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
ITS GAYYYYYYYYY 😊
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