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First published April 7, 2014


Then Bill, her fiancé, dumped her because he decided she wasn’t what he needed in a wife. Then, two months later, she’d been laid off at work. They liked her at the university, but she was the library’s newest hire, and the budget cuts they were facing were too severe to keep her position.
She’d known Micah all her life. They’d lived in the same neighborhood and had both been raised in this church.
She’d fallen for him hard, and she’d genuinely believed that he’d felt the same way. She’d started to hope. She’d started to dream.
But nothing else happened. No date. No words spoken about feelings. No request to keep in touch. The summer ended, and he left for college. And nothing.
Micah had gone wild in college. He started to party and drink and sleep around—things he’d never done in high school—and it just got worse when he graduated.
He must think she was still holding a torch for him, from all the way back in high school, and he didn’t want to encourage her.
He was always teasing and laughing. Everyone in town loved him. And he seemed to like everyone he encountered. Except her.
Girls all over town were crazy about him, from age eighteen to thirty-five. Any one of them would jump if he showed any interest in them.
She’d never been deluded about her own desirability. She was okay-looking—with long curly brown hair and big blue-gray eyes—but there was a reason that, when she was twelve, Micah had coined the nickname “Dormouse” for her. It had been a play on her name, of course, since instead of looking like Alice in Wonderland, she instead looked like the Dormouse—tiny, with a too-big mouth and too-small nose, and by nature more of a reader than a talker.
Jessica was quiet and unassuming, never trying to be the center of attention. Growing up, she’d always been like Alice—not one of the popular girls, not the one the guys always went after.
There were five of them. 1. Never assume a man likes you unless he both tells you and shows you. 2. Never go out of your way to encourage a man to ask you out. 3. Never trap a man in a conversation about his feelings that he doesn’t want to have. 4. Never analyze a man’s behavior or read into his motivations and intentions toward you. 5. Never, ever, ever daydream about a future unless he’s promised you a future.
It sounded like a baby whimpering. Finally, her eyes drifted down to something Micah was holding. A baby carrier. A baby carrier.
His features twisted slightly—maybe anxiety, maybe disbelief. “That’s the thing. I think…I think she’s mine.”
She knew what Micah’s lifestyle had been for many years. She knew all that time he hadn’t been living out what he believed. Sometimes choices came with serious consequences. She knew all about consequences.
Lydia had always been popular, outgoing, and athletic—everything Alice was not. She’d gone on to law school, if Alice remembered correctly. “Yeah. It’s good to see you too.”
She glanced back over her shoulder, murmuring soothing words to the baby. And she knew, when she saw Micah smiling at Lydia, that she’d never had any real hope with him.
“That thing is big, and you’re such a little Dormouse.”
“Nothing. I’m just tired of thinking I’m going to get something good out of life, only to have it snatched away from me.”
“I know he has. I’m not saying he’d ever do anything on purpose. But men…men sometimes take what we give them, just because it’s offered, without giving anything back in return.”
Definitely not the SUV. But Micah was getting out of it. Peering more closely, Alice saw who was in the driver’s seat. Lydia Morgan. Gorgeous, red-haired, confident, always successful Lydia Morgan.
Micah must have been hanging out with Lydia afterwards—having dinner or something.
“No. Nothing happened.” “Then why did you change so much?” “I don’t know.” He must not have his normal defenses up either, since he answered much more easily than she expected. “There’s no good reason for it. Nothing happened. Nothing provoked it. I just wasn’t around people I knew, people who knew me. So I could be anyone I wanted.”
She’d thought he might want to hold her hand for longer than the summer. But he hadn’t.
“I don’t know. It sounds silly, I’m sure, but it just sometimes feels like the world is taunting me with…with…” She thought for a moment for an appropriate analogy. “…with a big basket of beautiful flowers, making me think they could be mine. But then, when I reach out for them, all I get is a broken dandelion.”
“I’m sure there will be flowers for you, Alice.” His voice had changed, gotten soft, almost rough.
But the look that summer hadn’t led to anything, and it might not now, either.
“You mean marriage?” Something changed on his face. “No. I mean marriage to men I’d made up in my head, but who really just…just weren’t worth it.”
“Smart women don’t trust men who aren’t worthy of that trust.”
As they were walking back, a young woman in a nurse’s outfit down the hall gave a start when she saw Micah, as if his presence surprised her. Then she smiled in a very significant way and winked at him as they past.
“Did you know her?” she asked, since it seemed clear that the woman had known him.
“No. I didn’t.” Glancing back at the woman, who was still smiling in Micah’s direction, Alice had serious doubts about whether that was true.
She came out a few minutes later and saw that the woman who’d winked at Micah before was now talking to him.
Alice was absolutely certain about who the woman was. Micah must have had a one-night stand with her at some point in the past.
If this thing with Micah was over, then it was over. What she wanted was never what she actually got.
“You think…you think that’s best?” It hurt so much to ask. Hurt so much that he obviously meant it. “Yeah. You should go where the job is. There’s nothing tying you here.”
1. Never assume a man likes you unless he both tells you and shows you.
2. Never go out of your way to encourage a man to ask you out.
3. Never trap a man in a conversation about his feelings that he doesn’t want to have.
4. Never analyze a man’s behavior or read into his motivations and intentions toward you.
5. Never, ever, ever daydream about a future unless he’s promised you a future.
"God doesn’t give us things because we deserve them. He gives them to us because he loves us. Just because he loves us."