Twenty years after her sharp, seminal first book Sex and the City reshaped the landscape of pop culture and dating with its fly on the wall look at the mating rituals of the Manhattan elite, the trailblazing Candace Bushnell delivers a new book on the wilds and lows of sex and dating after fifty.
Set between the Upper East Side of Manhattan and a country enclave known as The Village, Is There Still Sex in the City? follows a cohort of female friends―Sassy, Kitty, Queenie, Tilda Tia, Marilyn, and Candace―as they navigate the ever-modernizing phenomena of midlife dating and relationships. There’s “Cubbing,” in which a sensible older woman suddenly becomes the love interest of a much younger man, the “Mona Lisa” Treatment―a vaginal restorative surgery often recommended to middle aged women, and what it’s really like to go on Tinder dates as a fifty-something divorcee. From the high highs (My New Boyfriend or MNBs) to the low lows (Middle Age Madness, or MAM cycles), Bushnell illustrates with humor and acuity today’s relationship landscape and the types that roam it.
Drawing from her own experience, in Is There Still Sex in the City? Bushnell spins a smart, lively satirical story of love and life from all angles―marriage and children, divorce and bereavement, as well as the very real pressures on women to maintain their youth and have it all. This is an indispensable companion to one of the most revolutionary dating books of the twentieth century from one of our most important social commentators.
Candace Bushnell is the critically acclaimed, international best-selling author of Killing Monica, Sex and the City, Summer and the City, The Carrie Diaries, One Fifth Avenue, Lipstick Jungle, Trading Up, and Four Blondes. Sex and the City, published in 1996, was the basis for the HBO hit series and two subsequent blockbuster movies. Lipstick Jungle became a popular television series on NBC, as did The Carrie Diaries on the CW.
A new SATC book? Yes Please! I was so excited to have some new material about some of my favourite fictional characters. Sadly, despite the title and the book's description...that is not what I got. Instead I got the author's notes on her personal life after a divorce and navigating her fifties. Despite being written by the person who brought Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha to life...this was not good. I would go so far as to say it was even down right boring. Thank you (?) to NetGalley and Grove Atlantic for my ARC.
I've never watched a single episode of "Sex and the City" or read any other books by Candace Bushnell, so I came into this book absolutely cold, with no expectations.
It's got an unusual style/format: It's a sort-of memoir combined with sort-of anthropological observations and categorizations of people and experiences. Candace gets divorced, hangs out with other middle-aged women who have either remained single or are also divorced, goes on Tinder, buys $4000 face cream, worries about money (yeah, surprise), and relates her own and her friends' experiences very dryly and matter-of-factly.
It was kind of interesting, but also kind of depressing.
I was fine with Candace telling stories on herself: getting turned down for a mortgage on the apartment she already lived in for entirely sexist and ageist reasons, so she just pays the entire mortgage off (take that, stupid bank: no interest for you now!); being suckered into the face cream; going on Tinder ("are you the Candace Bushnell?" asks one guy. "What the hell do you need with Tinder?"); and letting an ex-boyfriend and his kid camp on her property for three weeks (although I wonder how the kid will feel reading this stuff down the road). I was less comfortable with all the stories she tells about her many friends and their experiences. Partly, those stories just resonate less because of the distance between the person it happened to and the person writing about it. But also, telling stories like these on your friends, since many of them are not all that flattering, feels like a breach of boundaries to me. But I guess her friends must be fine with it, or they wouldn't stay friends with her. Or maybe the people in this book are just all composites and not really identifiable from these tales about them. It's really hard to tell.
It only took me two days to read this, though, so I didn't have to stay uncomfortable for long.
So I'm not really sure what I make of this book. I liked Candace herself and enjoyed spending time with her, hence the three stars. But does this make me want to look for any of her other books and spend more time with her? Not really.
Did I ever read Sex and the City? no absolutely not. Did I have any idea who Bushnell was when I borrowed this book from the library? Also no. Did I have a decently pleasant time with this book? Yes. If you're interested in dating and romantic relationships there might be more relatable stuff for you in there than there was for me. That being said, I did enjoy the parts about Bushnell's friend group and getting older which I thought were pretty interesting.
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If you loved Sex and the City and the dating adventures of the iconic women friends in NYC, you will love Candace Bushnell's new book that is a satirical tale based on her life leading up to and after divorce and how she and her single, divorced and widowed friends tried to get back in the game in middle age. Filled with heartbreaking and humorous anecdotes revealing adventures and challenges, Bushnell tells it like it is, sex and dating over 50 in all its glory and ugliness... she introduces us to acronyms like MAM (Middle Aged Mothering) and MNB (My New Boyfriend), and to labels she developed to categorize types of men, like the Hot Drop and the Spouse-Child. And of course there are the well preserved Super Middles (middle aged people that are like they were before, only better)... and then everyone else. It's not easy looking for love and Candace Bushnell keeps up chuckling through disappointments as she and her friends face the challenges of new hopeful romantic relationships and the settling for status quo companionships more than 20 years after Carrie Bradshaw's debut - the more things change, the more things stay the same. Do the vibrant and experienced women over 50 today have more of an upper hand? Are they more empowered or vulnerable? Hooray for us loyal fans... the fascinating conversation about women and dating over 50 will be continuing on tv - Paramount Television has picked up the rights to turn this one into a show! And stay tuned...I will be interviewing Candace Bushnell at the Westport Library in Westport, CT over the summer and we will be discussing her new book!
Dammit, I was 3 paragraphs in to my review and didn't notice the iPad battery was running down... and just like that, it was gone! Starting over, sigh.
I loved Sex and the City, the TV show. Beginning during my single late 20s, it was a backdrop to my moving to the other side of the world, and finding The One. I organised SATC girls' nights, where we would get together to snack, drink, watch episodes from my boxed sets and discuss our relationships. It was funny, controversial, thought-provoking but not too serious. So, when this came up on NetGalley, I requested it without even reading the summary.
Unfortunately, I forgot that I didn't actually enjoy the book upon which the show was based - this was before my reviewing days so I don't recall why not. This was also not very good, or what I was expecting. Instead of the an update on Carrie & Co, a decade on, this is a memoir of the author's last decade, and her impressions of dating in Middle Age. It's probably the most profoundly depressing book I've ever read.
At the start of the book, Candace loses her dog, her husband divorces her and she is forced by financial and social circumstance to move out of her Manhattan apartment and into The Village. An editor suggests she writes another book and returns to the topic that made her famous - dating. Since she's actually happy enough being single, she recounts the experiences of her friends, as they navigate divorce and the difficulties of starting over, when it is as hard as ever to find a decent man, let alone one you want to have sex with. Even with age-appropriate men, it seems it’s still all about how women look and their willingness to put out.
When she finally realises that the most important thing is that he be Nice (I was saddened that she was nearly 60 before she worked this out, when it was the answer all along), she is happy, but almost immediately, terrible things happen to bring her down again. Like I said, depressing. I was constantly reminded how lucky I am to be married to a Nice Man and just have to really hope nothing happens to him. The section about Tinder made me shudder and give thanks for my internet-free youth!
The author comes across as entitled and lacking empathy. The only thing that seems to bother her is not being rich, even though compared to 98% of the rest of the world she is. Throughout the book, she frequently complains about being broke, and yet spends thousands of dollars on shoes and face-creams, and seems to think this is normal. How you can be the writer behind one of the most successful TV shows of the Noughties and end up with no money, without even having spent it raising children is beyond me. It felt like we were being asked to feel sorry for her, and that she needed this to be a success, but really hasn't put much effort into it.
In fact the best thing I can say about this book is that it is short. Sadly, it's also boring and unfunny and offers no new insights into how to survive singlehood in your fifties, except for the importance of having friends.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC which allowed me to give an honest review. I'm sorry I couldn't find much to like about it, but note that the majority of other early reviews have the same complaints.
A huge thank you to Hachette Australia for providing me with a copy of Candace Bushnell’s new memoir to read and review! I absolutely loved this book and couldn’t put it down – I finished it in one sitting!! I’ve longtime been a fan of Candace Bushnell’s work, Sex in The City is a book that I often enjoyed many times over, as well as her The Carrie Diaries and Summer In The City too! But there was just something all the more impressive and addictive that was this book, I think, for me, it was just that the author spared no filters in this book, it was just completley upfront and open and honest and I couldn’t put it down and found myself instantly fascinated by Candace’s exploration of life as an older woman, navigating dating circuits and lifetime friendships and life in New York City, before and again, after overcoming various difficult obstacles in her life! I must admit, I’ve never been wholly interested in the whole dating scene and I can happily admit I’m asexual- but even so, I found myself chuckling at the utter relatable that was Candace Bushnell’s journey using the interesting dating app that is Tinder and chats with her fellow older friends (and a couple of younger ones, all of whom have very varying and unique interpretations of the app and men!) I would read excerpts of this book to my mum and we’d discuss the comments about the men and women in detail, remarking on how accurate and pleasantly real Candace Bushnell’s narrative is! I just throughly enjoyed reading about her life, from when she started a seemingly regular day walking her beloved Ibizan Hound to tragedy unfurling and leading her to retreat away from the city, only to return with a fresh perspective (Which I found so interesting too, how the lifestyle of people in New York City works, how glitzy and costly the high end stores are, it really felt like another world in itself and I could picture it all so vividly!). It was impossible not to get swept up in this book and what happened in Candace’s life as she explores the titular notion Is There Still Sex In The City? as her writing is so wonderfully articulated and reads very intimately, it honestly felt like I was catching up with a friend having a cocktail or a rose, being entertained and moved by what she’d been through and just generally what had occurred in her life! I especially enjoyed not only her every day accounts of her and her friends, but the part where an old partner of hers came to stay with her, along with his young son – which essentially leads to Candace thinking about her own life, how she’s never had children of her own (something I admire, truthfully), but I also enjoyed reading about her taking the young lad shopping and teaching him diving! All in all, I definitely think there’s something in this book that everyone will enjoy! It’s definitely one of my favourite non fiction books that I’ve read lately and I can’t recommend it enough! Thank you again Hachette Australia for providing me with a copy of this book to read and review!!
I’m writing this review as I read as there is quite a lot to comment on!) Well, I’m 3% in, and it’s so depressing! Her dog just died, she’s telling the tale of her mum dying, and her husband asks for a divorce! All of this is described factually and with no emotion! I’m just sat here, with my mouth wide open, thinking what on earth am I reading! This is all just a segue into why the book has been written; I can’t call it an introduction because so much unbelievable stuff happens within this first 3% and so quickly you could blink and miss it! She sounds so bored as if she doesn’t want to be writing this? She’s been convinced to put pen to paper, so she’s doing it... reluctantly! She’s always saying she can’t afford things in the book, so it’s obvious from the vibe emanating from the pages that she has got to do this or face destitution. This kind of makes me feel bad that it’s not that good and already getting bad reviews as she evidently needs it to be a success! She sounds like a washed-up version of Carrie if Mr Big had divorced her and she ended up right back at the beginning! I’ve not read the Sex and the City books, but I’ve watched the programme many times! I can hear Carrie’s voice through some of the comments. I do wonder if this is the same tone as those books, or does this have its own unique dispiriting tone? Ah, the abbreviations are driving me mad ‘irl’, ‘MAM’! You get to the end of a chapter and completely forget what they stand for! The shoe buying incident is bizarre; she is waxing lyrical that she can’t afford things but then buys a pair of shoes two sizes too big for her just because she thinks she should because they’re fashionable! Some of the stories weren’t too bad, still cringe-worthy but you get caught up in them! So the middle section when she is describing boob jobs, facials and kids by proxy were quite entertaining. However, then the book starts to draw to an end and we are dealt more deaths and philosophical musings that just make you want to curl up and die! This book made me want to hold onto Morgan really tight and be very grateful that I’m not single. This book is depressing, desperate and sad, and it made me sad reading it! It made me uncomfortable the majority of the time, and like I say it’s such a shame, it could have been good, but she needed to believe more in what she was writing and telling us.
After some personal criticism from the author via Twitter, and subsequently blocking me before I had a chance to respond, I have decided to update my review. This is the response to the author I would have put on Twitter and a little more of an explanation as to why this book wasn’t for me: "Thank you for responding to my review. Sex and the City, Lipstick Jungle and The Carrie Diaries have brought so much joy to my life, and I’m grateful to you for creating those worlds. I’m really gutted that I didn’t enjoy this book, I was so happy to receive an ARC, but maybe I went in with too high expectations. I can’t lie in a review, and I’m sorry this book wasn’t for me! I have read other autobiographies of women (just not via NetGalley) that may have suffered worse and they have received 5-star reviews."
Thanks for reading! If you want to see more of my reviews visit www.pinkanddizzy.com
When I first started reading this, I hoped Bushnell would range beyond the challenge of women her age finding sex partners, to other issues with which we older people deal. And she did. Wow.
The book could have used a bit more editing. A few commas, etc. No big. And it starts shallow and flip, but then goes deep, but deceptively. You're laughing, and then you see the truth she's revealing.
The book reads like a series proposal! She should get a series on Netflix or Amazon, based on this book. As great as Grace and Frankie is, this would be even better. There's a lot of comedy, and some of the scenes (the Russian facial! Max and Dagmar!) just unfold in your imagination as if you're watching them onscreen. Somebody PLEASE make a series.
I did, of course, see Sarah Jessica Parker in my imagination as I read the book. And even though I couldn't imagine living in Manhattan, she really shows us what it might be like for someone who's pretty normal...she's well off, but in that setting ("Madison World") she's barely welcome in neighborhood stores. Which made her seem relatable.
But after all the fun and games, somebody's got to get hurt, and Bushnell does a fine job of shifting from comedy hijinks to existential angst, which is quite poignant and realistic. I loved her observations, which are woven into the story in a subtle way. She's always about entertaining us, not preaching, but we really want to know what her experience of turning 60 looks like, and she delivers. A good book. I recommend it. (Late add: just found out Bushnell is in negotiations with Netflix for a series!)
3.5 Stars This is not the greatest memoir but I enjoyed this juicy memoir. This felt like the Sex and the City Reboot that Just Like That wasn't. I enjoyed hearing the escapist tales of dating later in life in the wealthy New York scene.
I had to read Is There Still Sex in the City because I loved the show. This is the middle age after divorce story. Of course, it's also about female friendships and ridiculous shoes. The story felt like a cliche, and it was depressing. Where are the good men? Men are pigs, etc. I've heard this before. I was really hoping for something more original. Not what I expected unfortunately. Thanks to NetGalley for an arc in exchange for an honest review.
Is There Still Sex In The City is Bushnell's follow up book to her blockbuster Sex and the City.
Now middle-aged, Bushnell and her friends Sassy, Kitty, Queenie, Tilda Ta and Marilyn are all experiencing mid-life and all that entails. Bushnell herself, after marrying in her forties, finds herself getting divorced and having to start all over in a dating world filled with all types of new social media. And of course, true to form each essay starts with a question.
And so the big question is can one navigate new types of technology, ways to look younger and still find someone to love you for you? Or do you even need a partner?
Especially when you discover all the new jargon you must learn to be a mid-lifer just when your mind begins to have senior moments. Words such as "cubbing", dating a younger man, or restoration and rejuvenation of certain areas or perhaps mortgaging your house not to prevent, but to dissolve wrinkles. And the cost??? Astronomical! And it is all exhausting!
In a series of essays, Bushnell takes us through mid-life which includes marriage, divorce, regret at not having children and loss. She of course does this with the same wit and humor which was found in her first book. Only this time there is a much more profound sense of adulthood. We get a glimpse at the landmines these women try to maneuver around, sometimes unsuccessfully, just as they did in their 20's and 30's to hopefully find out who they are and who they can be in their 50's and 60's and beyond.
Thank you #NetGalley #GrovePress #IsThereStillSexInTheCity #CandaceBushnell for the advanced copy.
I read this book because of Candace Bushnell (and who else!) I absolutely fell in love with the movies Sex And The City and Sex In The City 2 and so, obviously, when I saw Bushnell's latest on NetGalley, I had to read it. But unfortunately, the book on the whole and the writing, in particular, failed to seduce me the way the movies did. It lacked the whole charm and charisma the movie and its characters had.
Moreover, the story progressed so speedily that in just two-three kindle pages, the main character went from the back of a taxi with a dead dog to being broke and got divorced and bought a new place and sold the old one and bought to new poodles (not at all in that order, but that was a major information dump!) And the entire book was that way, as if the author was just telling about what's happening and not writing a book. This makes me wonder how her Sex In The City book might be. I always wanted to read it, but now not so much as I can see how the writing might be in that too and I really don't want to ruin the movies for myself as I absolutely love them!
I think you may enjoy this book only if you are hardcore a Bushnell fan (which, for the love of me, I cannot fathom why.)
Το βιβλίο το άρχισα καθαρά γιατί ήμουν κι εγώ από εκείνες που έχουν δεί όλα τα επεισόδια και τις ταινίες του Sex and the City. Έψαχνα για κάτι χαλαρό και διασκεδαστικό μετά το The Testaments. Ήταν έτσι, μέχρι ένα σημείο. Μετά, άρχισε το horror week του Goodreads. Τι εννοώ; Η συγγραφέας μας εξιστορεί τις εμπειρίες εκείνης και των φιλενάδων της προσπαθώντας να απαντήσει σε ερωτήματα όπως : Υπάρχει ζωή μετά τα 60/70 φεύγα, έρωτας ραντεβού, ασφάλεια υγείας και οικονομική σιγουριά; Μάλλον έπιασα το βιβλίο καμιά 15αριά χρόνια νωρίτερα και η τελική νότα αισιοδοξίας του βιβλίου δε με ανακούφισε. Ευτυχώς έχω καλές φίλες και τη Δήμητρα Παπαδοπούλου να ρωτάει μαζί μου "εγώ πότε θα γίνω μάνα;" 2.5*
Bushnell’s stories would be much more digestible if she actually admitted to her riches. That I am supposed to believe she is living this middle class lifestyle is simply bs. She goes on for pages about how she purchased a discounted ($400) Ralph Lauren jacket and gawked at the original price tag. So while she may not be super rich like the billionaires she spends her time partying with, she still has money. If she admitted she was still far better off than many of her readers, it would be much easier to sympathize with some of her woes. But she’s stuck in this mindset that she’s dirt broke poor for much of the chapters that it’s hard to get through the stories without rolling your eyes a thousand times.
Still Looking for Mister Goodbar, or Noth by Nothwest Each summer, I try to read at least one book of pure candy fluff. Although there are sobering incidents, and perhaps more autumnal sadness than you'd want from your lipstick smeared and sun lotion stained beach read, Bushnell's scoping of her sixth decade fit the bill. I only think things could have gone much better for her and her friends if they'd skipped the art show openings and cocktail lounges and Tinder and signed up at FarmersOnly dot com.
My problem with this book was the title. This book is mis-titled and misleadingly introduced in the first chapter as a book about whether, quite literally, there is "still sex in the city". Being divorced and in my late 30s myself, I chuckled at the author's first chapter. She loses a dog (although I agree with other reviewers that this was too heartlessly described and borderline sociopathic), a husband, and her home in short order. She flees to her second home, presumably in the country, to chill out, raise poodles, and write terrible novels that her publisher won't publish. She hasn't had sex in ages, doesn't think about it, doesn't worry about it. At the end of the Chapter, she decides to move back to the city because of the lack of men, excitement, sex. In Chapter 3, she's approached to write about Tinder. The depressing truth about Tinder. She creates an account, and I braced myself for what's to come (pun intended).
The problem is that this book isn't about whether sex still exists in the city. That question is answered right away, when the author sits down with a group of women to discuss the merits of Tinder. It's all laid out for her then: guys swipe yes to every woman, of all ages, on Tinder, they meet them in person, and they all want sex. It's a numbers game. This is no secret or surprise at this point. So, yup, there is sex in the city, even for women in their 50s with men in their 20s and 30s. What the author really wants to know, from her discussions with her Tinderella roundtable, is whether there is still DATING in the city. The Tinderellas have practically never been on proper dates, and their eyes glaze over when the author recounts her prior dates. THERE'S THE RIGHT TITLE! Is there still dating in the city?
It seems that the book is titled to bank off the prior success of Sex and the City, reminding readers that Candace Bushnell is, well, Candace Bushnell. It's condescending, especially when the book changes tone and premise about 40 percent in and becomes a discussion of shopping in the city, skin care in the city, shoes in the city, etc. What happened to the hysterical Tinder dates I was waiting for? Where's the dating? I will readily admit that I wanted to read this book because of the dating and sex "research". I have no interest in reading about women in Manahattan in general. I don't care about their expensive shoes or purses. That's not how the book is introduced, so that's not what I expected.
Also, I found it distracting that the author had to use fake names, when Queenie was clearly the Countess and Joanne was clearly Carole from the Real Housewives of New York. She uses a very prominent storyline from the Bravo series to describe the ladies. She even mentions the Bravo series multiple times throughout the book. Yes, their names are fake.
What worked for me was Candace Bushnell's writing. I do love her style. Her stories are filled with her signature wit, sarcasm, flare, and a certain Pollyanna-hopefulness. Her stuff is never a chore to read. In fact, I'd love to get my hands on the manuscripts rejected by her publishers that she references in Chapter One.
My criticism of this book is based on the title, the overall format and structure, and the theme. It's like that scene in the Sex and the City when Carrie was confused when she was asked to draft a theme to set the tone for her articles. Same thing here.
Thank you to NetGalley for this advanced copy in exchange for this honest review.
I was really excited and curious about this book. I had it sitting on my Kindle for a while, but when I don’t fall in love with the beginning of a book, it’s harder to keep a steady reading pace. That’s exactly what happened with Is There Still Sex in the City?
But why?
I absolutely loved the Sex and the City TV show (though I’ve never read the original book). I imagine many readers are drawn to this one for the same reason. And with that comes a certain expectation, since the show was such a cultural moment for so many of us.
There were some things I enjoyed about the book. The parallel short stories and dating adventures reminded me of the style of the show. But somehow, what worked so well on screen didn’t quite translate here. Maybe it was the writing style. Maybe it was the lack of structure. It felt more like a loose collection of short stories than a novel with a clear plot. There wasn’t that feeling of continuity, of “I need to know what happens next.”
I also didn’t feel very connected to the characters. In fact, I often found myself forgetting who was who, especially among the friends and acquaintances. There were just too many names and stories being introduced, which made it hard to form a bond with anyone, even the main cast.
Another thing that didn’t work for me was the tone. The way men and relationships were described often felt more depressing than funny, which took away some of the fun I usually look for in light reads.
The ideas and concept were definitely there, but something essential felt missing.
Overall, the spirit of Sex and the City felt lost in the middle of all the scattered stories and underdeveloped characters. The fun, the relatability, the spark that made the show so memorable, I just didn’t find it here. Still, I’d encourage fans to give it a try. This particular book may not have been for me, but without Candace Bushnell, one of my favorite shows would have never existed.
This is an extremely light and quick read that will not take the reader long to discover that yes, there still is sex, the city, and much more, for e.g.: the village, divorce, and disappointment, that life does not always turn out the way one plans, and even if it does, it is not always as rosy as one initially envisaged.
Bushnell covers a number of relevant topics such as aging, love, social media, loneliness, friendships, grief, to name a few, but each topic, like her characters in this book are left underdeveloped. There is a wide range of characters, but no one is fully developed, the reader is left without the basic portrait of how they even look like. Similarly the themes, the author brings up all these important and fascinating topics but explores them on a very superficial level.
This book will no doubt reassure a number of single, middle aged women and men whose lives do not reflect stereotypical hetero-normative societal standard, or at the very least, it will make them feel they are not alone; as for its younger audiences, it will confirm that whether you are 30 or 60, you will want the same things like security, love, and a bit of fun (maybe in a different order if you are 30!).
About the edition I got. I received an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Perhaps that is why the PDF copy that was sent to my Kindle account was not formatted well - paragraphs and words were were cut off and sometimes in a different font which made the text look quite messy. Nevertheless, thanks to Grove Atlantic and NetGalley for an advanced copy. This book was on my radar ever since it was announced and it was exciting to get an advanced copy half a year before its publication.
I was disappointed by this. Although it had some good moments, on the whole I felt frustrated by Bushnell's conviction through the book that she is lacking in money. She really, clearly isn't. Even whilst claiming she doesn't have the thousands required for weird magical face creams, and then buying some anyway. That grated on me, and rather put me off I'm afraid. There were some moments with interesting thoughts about getting older, as a woman, and dating when you're older. But I kept hoping there would be characters from the TV show appearing, and I was disappointed when that didn't happen. In the book's favour, it's a quick read.
Is There Still Sex in the City? was such a fun read. As a Sex in the City superfan, I enjoyed reading this newest book by Candace Bushnell. This well-written book reads like a collection of short stories/journal entries and focuses on how six friends discover all the things that life has to offer women who are midlife dating, the concept of “cubbing”, vaginal restoration and so much more. It was fun and light and mirthful. A few times I actually laughed out loud.
I received a review copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley for my honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
An impulse read in that it presented as something from a perspective and experiential context that's the diametric opposite of mine. This much proved correct.
There's the experience of women and then there's the experience of privileged (often white) women, and I can't tell if she doesn't get anything and the editor did (and so left it in) or if she does but is being deliberately passive in her narration in some pseudo-clever way.
Things that were rage inducing:
The general griping -- one particular illustration centered on her poor friend who "did everything right" (a constant) and then luckily landed on her feet thanks to a childless aunt who saved all her money and gave it to her and her brother. Yep, may we all have aunts like that. I think, however, it tends to happen to a specific demographic. Poor friend, so lonely but manages to not need to work after all! And who can afford to buy a house and paint all day. This is par for course for literally everyone the author knows. Hit rock bottom? Exercise and take better care of yourself! Drink less! This doesn't seem like a viable alternative to a large swathe of the socioeconomic spectrum, but... cool?
The ex-boyfriend who dumps himself and his unrelated child on her (though she's privileged to own a house and a property that can simulate camping? With an entire barn? ...Who knows). Who parks himself down on couches because women not only naturally know how to shop for children, they naturally bear the responsibility of taking care of kids, even when they're the progeny of strangers. The total lack of push back on this flabbergasted me. I'm not sure it provokes sympathy for the narrator and her supposed feelings of guilt, because, again, her tone is incredibly passive and flat. Maybe that's her being truthful to the situation as it unfolded but it's barely understandable.
And this: "as Ron reminded me, I must feel so honored that a man 'as powerful as Arnold' wanted to spend time with me." I have no words to add, especially as she goes along with it without much indication of ever thinking about anything or owning any decision beyond describing other opinions in the ether.
And little gems like: "That's the thing about rich people. They can have anything they want but like everyone else, they all just want ice cream." What? How are you writing a book as though you're so jaded that you're aware of how little you know, and still end up sounding even more ignorant and shallow despite the caveat?
And that's the biggest problem - she throws out little anecdotes that are kind of pointless and purport to illustrate some phenomenon, or makes a show of frustration or exasperation, or even quips about some lesson she's learned in middle age like it'd be a revelation to the average human (spoiler: it's not, by any stretch). She offers description but no opinions or signs of conscious decision-making in her own life. I might as well have spent an hour on Buzzfeed quizzes that describe what kind of gummy bear I was or something. I actually had to check the publication year. I get it that people build their life experiences from different starting points. I also think people very quickly reveal how aware they are about the shifting contexts around them. Sometimes, it's not flattering.
I haved loved Candace Bushnell's previous books but this one was a negative for me indefinitely. Sry but my opinion is mine alone and I hope everyone else enjoys. Thank you to Netgalley and Grove Atlantic for my honest review
Tacco12 - per RFS . Candace Bushnell, la famosissima autrice diventata famosa con Sex and the City, è tornata con un’opera che si diverte ad analizzare, con un approccio assolutamente disincantato e realista, la vita delle donne intorno ai cinquant’anni. In particolare, riflette sulle relazioni tra uomo e donna, sul sesso e la crisi di mezza età.
Ambientato tra l’Upper East Side di Manhattan e il The Village, l’autrice racconta le proprie esperienze e quelle delle sue amiche, sposate e divorziate, con o senza figli, mantenendo sempre un approccio curioso e mai giudicante.
La paura di rimanere soli e invecchiare, le pressioni per mantenere degli standard estetici sempre più elevati, le preoccupazioni economiche, la scoperta delle app di incontri, la difficoltà di relazionarsi con uomini interessati esclusivamente a donne più giovani, sono solo alcuni degli aspetti affrontati dalla Bushnell.
Ce n’è per tutti i gusti: milf, cougar, pantere, toy boy e cuccioli. Nulla è lasciato intentato, la scrittrice vanta un campionario piuttosto ampio ed eterogeneo di amicizie e conoscenze che hanno vissuto almeno una delle esperienze descritte nel libro.
Nel corso della lettura ho apprezzato davvero soprattutto due aspetti. Il primo è la disinvoltura autobiografica e lo stile di scrittura, veloce e scorrevole. Il secondo è il messaggio subliminale: gli uomini vanno e vengono ma le vere amiche restano.
Mi trovo un po’ in difficoltà, ma confesso che pur non trovando un motivo per esprimere un giudizio negativo su questo libro, non l’ho apprezzato fino in fondo. Sostanzialmente ritengo sia triste… ecco l’ho detto! Forse la serie tv di Sex and the City mi ha abituata troppo bene.
L’autrice avrà anche voluto fare un’istantanea delle relazioni tra cinquantenni, ma l’immagine che ne è venuta fuori è particolarmente deprimente. Uomini non all’altezza che trattano il genere femminile come un oggetto da cui trarre piacere fisico o conferme, donne insicure che trovano la realizzazione di se stesse attraverso un uomo. Senza contare la non volontà a crescere e ad assumersi responsabilità di entrambi! In un panorama così desolante aggiungiamo la classica crisi di mezza età che miete le sue vittime senza guardare in faccia nessuno.
Un po’ triste vero? E credetemi, la consapevolezza che magari qualcuno alla fine il suo angolo di paradiso lo trova davvero è una magra consolazione. Boh, magari mi aspettavo solo un po’ più di ottimismo.
Is There Still Sex in the City is the story of one writer's midlife crisis . Candace Bushnell finds herself in middle age, divorced and worried about money. Things truly come apart when her dog dies and she moves out to Village. Bushnell chronicles the experience of Tinder "dating", having younger boyfriends, and the suicide of one her close friends. This is one of the saddest books I have read in a long time. Bushnell refuses to accept she is in a middle life life crisis and gives it a cute name and acronym. This is sad in and of itself. She refuses to truly accept her life. It was hard to identify with her and her friends. Unlike her previous essays, there is no fantasy of being in the thrilling world of New York. I rolled my eyes when she complained living in the Upper East side (if you can't afford it don't live there. Damn.). I despisef her desperateness at thinking she would get something real from Tinder. And don't get me started on her "not mom but acting like mom" chapter. Maybe this something people her ages (late fifties/early sixties) would enjoy. But i don't see many of normal people being able to empathize with a life that is still better than their because of economic status. In her book, she mentioned she wrote several novels no one would publish. After reading this one, which they published, i would hate to read those.
I received an ARC through NetGalley; all opinions are my own.
Is There Still Sex in the City is the newest book by author Candace Bushnell. I was a big fan of the tv show Sex and the City and I have enjoyed other books by this author. So I knew that I wanted to read her newest book.
This book is a fictitious account of dating after fifty. However one issue I had is that the narrator/main character is Candace Bushnell. So I was a bit confused if I was reading a non-fiction autobiography. Or if it was pure fiction?
After looking into this I found the following statement in the PR for the book: "Drawing from her own experience, in Is There Still Sex in the City? Bushnell spins a smart, lively satirical story of love and life from all angles—marriage and children, divorce and bereavement, as well as the very real pressures on women to maintain their youth and have it all."
So while the book reads like stories from a memoir it seems like it is fiction and just based on her own life.
The book follows Candace and a group of her friends (Sassy, Kitty, Queenie, Tilda Tia and Marilyn). And it focuses on what dating is like for those over 50 in New York City. The stories are charming and funny. I definitely found the book to be enjoyable.
Overall, the stories that the author tells are cute and entertaining. The writing is strong. But I definitely wish that it was made much clearer whether the stories were true vs fiction.
Thanks to edelweiss and Grove Press for allowing me to read this book.