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How It Was
In a 1970s village in rural Kent, lives go on in an unremarkable way. But Marion Deacon, struggling with being a wife and mother, is about to set events in motion that she cannot control in a story of love, motherhood, betrayal, and long-hidden secrets . . . because everyone has at least one secret.
Marion Deacon sits by the hospital bed of her dying husband, Michael. Outwardly she is, as she says, an unremarkable old woman. She has long concealed her history - and her feelings - from the casual observer. And she's learned to ignore her own past, too.
But as she sits by Michael's bed, she's haunted by memories of events from almost forty years ago. She and Michael were recently married; their children, Eddie and Sarah, still young. Theirs was an uneventful life in a small village. But, stiflingly bored in her role as mother and wife, Marion fell for a married man, an affair that sparked a chain of events which re-sets all their lives.
Moving between the voices of Marion, her teenage daughter Sarah and her youngest son, Eddie, How It Was is a story of love, loss and betrayal. Through Marion and Sarah, Janet Ellis explores the tensions at the heart of mother-daughter relationships, the pressure women face to be the perfect wife and mother, and how life rarely turns out the way we imagine it will when we are young.
Marion Deacon sits by the hospital bed of her dying husband, Michael. Outwardly she is, as she says, an unremarkable old woman. She has long concealed her history - and her feelings - from the casual observer. And she's learned to ignore her own past, too.
But as she sits by Michael's bed, she's haunted by memories of events from almost forty years ago. She and Michael were recently married; their children, Eddie and Sarah, still young. Theirs was an uneventful life in a small village. But, stiflingly bored in her role as mother and wife, Marion fell for a married man, an affair that sparked a chain of events which re-sets all their lives.
Moving between the voices of Marion, her teenage daughter Sarah and her youngest son, Eddie, How It Was is a story of love, loss and betrayal. Through Marion and Sarah, Janet Ellis explores the tensions at the heart of mother-daughter relationships, the pressure women face to be the perfect wife and mother, and how life rarely turns out the way we imagine it will when we are young.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published August 6, 2019
14 people are currently reading
638 people want to read
About the author
Janet Ellis
14 books52 followersJanet Ellis trained as an actress at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama. She is best known for presenting Blue Peter and contributes to numerous radio and TV programmes.
A graduate of the Curtis Brown creative writing course, The Butcher’s Hook is her first novel, and she is currently working on her next.
In 2016 Janet was awarded an MBE for services to charities and theatre.
A graduate of the Curtis Brown creative writing course, The Butcher’s Hook is her first novel, and she is currently working on her next.
In 2016 Janet was awarded an MBE for services to charities and theatre.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
September 21, 2019
How It Was is a story about the complexities of a mother and daughter relationship, set in rural Kent in the 1970's.
As Marion sits at the bedside of her dying husband and looks back to when things started to go wrong for them, she's haunted by her memories of events from almost forty years ago.
The story looks at her experience of her daughter, Sarah’s, adolescence and the rivalries and jealousies it brought up between the two of them. This novel of secrets, betrayal and love is full of tension and frustration and makes for quite a compelling read. A beautifully written, bold and highly recommended, character-driven story, told through a mother's experiences.
I received a complimentary digital copy of this novel, at my own request, from John Murray Press via NetGalley. This review is my own unbiased opinion.
As Marion sits at the bedside of her dying husband and looks back to when things started to go wrong for them, she's haunted by her memories of events from almost forty years ago.
The story looks at her experience of her daughter, Sarah’s, adolescence and the rivalries and jealousies it brought up between the two of them. This novel of secrets, betrayal and love is full of tension and frustration and makes for quite a compelling read. A beautifully written, bold and highly recommended, character-driven story, told through a mother's experiences.
I received a complimentary digital copy of this novel, at my own request, from John Murray Press via NetGalley. This review is my own unbiased opinion.
July 18, 2019
Marion is a bored housewife. She has a caring, loving husband Michael. A 14 year old daughter, Sarah. And, a seven year old son, Eddie. She seems to have the perfect life but what she decides to do has a knock on detrimental effect on her family.
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I'll be honest I nearly gave up on this book. The narrative was quite hard to follow. It kept jumping from different point of view and timeline, sometimes without any clear indication of who we were hearing from or when. However, this was a proof copy from Netgalley, maybe the confusion will be ironed out.
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Marion was a very unlikeable character, and it took me a fair while to figure her out. But, when it became clear of some of the reasoning behind her actions it gave the character meaning.
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The relationships portrayed in this story were well thought out and moulded the storyline. We had Marion's relationship with her kids and husband, also hints of her childhood. There was the sibling relationship of Marion's children, which was lovely to read as we saw the love and hate within.
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A little annoyance with me was Sarah's diary entries. I would like to have seen it written more in the language of a teen, some of the descriptive writing within the diary entries did not scream teenager.
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Despite my early thoughts of quitting. I am glad I carried on, because this did turn out to be a good story of unraveling lies and home truths.
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I'll be honest I nearly gave up on this book. The narrative was quite hard to follow. It kept jumping from different point of view and timeline, sometimes without any clear indication of who we were hearing from or when. However, this was a proof copy from Netgalley, maybe the confusion will be ironed out.
..
..
Marion was a very unlikeable character, and it took me a fair while to figure her out. But, when it became clear of some of the reasoning behind her actions it gave the character meaning.
..
..
The relationships portrayed in this story were well thought out and moulded the storyline. We had Marion's relationship with her kids and husband, also hints of her childhood. There was the sibling relationship of Marion's children, which was lovely to read as we saw the love and hate within.
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..
A little annoyance with me was Sarah's diary entries. I would like to have seen it written more in the language of a teen, some of the descriptive writing within the diary entries did not scream teenager.
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Despite my early thoughts of quitting. I am glad I carried on, because this did turn out to be a good story of unraveling lies and home truths.
February 28, 2022
In the 1970s Marion Deacon, housewife & mother, lives an unremarkable life. But years later, as she sits by her dying husband’s bedside she considers her past and the mistakes she made, which ultimately changed her family’s destiny irrevocably.
This is defines slow burner of a read. It took a while to grab me. Marion is not a likeable character which didn’t help. But PLEASE stick with this because all of a sudden you’ll be engrossed, as I was. While Marion isn’t pleasant, she’s incredibly perceptive. As I got to know her I felt myself chuckling with delight at many of her scathing thoughts about neighbours and her own family. The choices she makes are wrong, with horrifying consequences but I could see how she was swept along. This drab little housewife just wanted a little bit of excitement and to be honest, I didn’t blame her. I’d be climbing the walls stuck in Marion’s life, with a dull husband, a teenage daughter who hated her and just a 7 year old son got company.
As the story progressed I became so invested in the minutiae of their lives, Janet Ellis’ writing is perfect. She took me right into the heads of these characters and I didn’t want to leave them. My heart was shattered in the final section of this book, the impact of the story filled me with such sadness. A bleak yet beautiful book that will stay with me a long time.
This is defines slow burner of a read. It took a while to grab me. Marion is not a likeable character which didn’t help. But PLEASE stick with this because all of a sudden you’ll be engrossed, as I was. While Marion isn’t pleasant, she’s incredibly perceptive. As I got to know her I felt myself chuckling with delight at many of her scathing thoughts about neighbours and her own family. The choices she makes are wrong, with horrifying consequences but I could see how she was swept along. This drab little housewife just wanted a little bit of excitement and to be honest, I didn’t blame her. I’d be climbing the walls stuck in Marion’s life, with a dull husband, a teenage daughter who hated her and just a 7 year old son got company.
As the story progressed I became so invested in the minutiae of their lives, Janet Ellis’ writing is perfect. She took me right into the heads of these characters and I didn’t want to leave them. My heart was shattered in the final section of this book, the impact of the story filled me with such sadness. A bleak yet beautiful book that will stay with me a long time.
Read
October 21, 2019The constant moving between past and present (and even further in the past) is a bit confusing, probably because I am reading this on Kindle and the different viewpoints often start from one line to the next, with no formatting changes.
I very nearly gave up on this, but in the end it was a worthwhile and thorough examination of family dynamics, of the need to be loved. Marion can be infuriating at times but I did feel sorry for her.
I very nearly gave up on this, but in the end it was a worthwhile and thorough examination of family dynamics, of the need to be loved. Marion can be infuriating at times but I did feel sorry for her.
July 21, 2019
Beginning this book I wasn’t completely sure I was going to enjoy this read but how wrong I was! I was blown away by how beautifully written this story is, following the lives of Michael and Marion as he is dying, just days away from departing this world. Told from the perspectives of Michael and mainly Marion as well as their two children Sarah and Eddie, the reader is taken on a journey alternating between past and present , their lives held up for close inspection. The description of the minutiae of their lives is simply stunning and the characters personalities are acutely observed. It would seem the marriage is built on rocky foundations, causing Marion to seek fun and pleasure elsewhere and she comes across as a cold fish in terms of being a wife and mother making her rather unlikeable. I liked the way the author used Marion sitting at her husband’s beside looking at old photographs and letters to reveal this family’s backstory and the events that led to the disintegration of their family unit. The neighbour Sheila is a great character in this novel, depicted as the nosy interfering individual who is quite instrumental in Marion’s downfall. This is a moving, profoundly sad tale that took me by surprise with how outstanding the writing is and I can’t praise the author enough. This is a triumph and without a doubt one of my favourite books this year.Thoroughly recommend and thank you as always to the publisher and Netgalley for allowing me to read ahead of publication.
July 19, 2019
I thought this book was really well written and willing to think that the disjointed narrative and difficulty in working out who was telling their story was down to put being an advance e copy.
However, when I got to the point where Michael is asked when he wants to turn off the " machine" and to make a quick decision as the doctor was off for the weekend I just thought that was enough. NHS staff may be overwhelmed and overworked, but in 40 years of working in it that was not a realistic scenario.
I couldn't face reading the rest of the book.
Thank you to netgalley and John Murray press for an advance copy of this book.
However, when I got to the point where Michael is asked when he wants to turn off the " machine" and to make a quick decision as the doctor was off for the weekend I just thought that was enough. NHS staff may be overwhelmed and overworked, but in 40 years of working in it that was not a realistic scenario.
I couldn't face reading the rest of the book.
Thank you to netgalley and John Murray press for an advance copy of this book.
July 12, 2019
Sadly this book didnt work for me. I just felt like it was a little disjointed. That it flittered around a bit too much for me. I found that I didn’t really like the characters either. I’m really sorry.
October 20, 2020
The characters were so fascinatingly detached from one another. A perfect example of trauma being passed down from one generation to another and how dire the consequences can be if the cycle isn’t broken.
August 18, 2019
In a 1970s village in rural Kent, lives go on in an unremarkable way. But Marion Deacon, struggling with being a wife and mother, is about to set events in motion that she cannot control in a story of love, motherhood, betrayal, and long-hidden secrets . . . because everyone has at least one secret.
Marion Deacon sits by the hospital bed of her dying husband, Michael. Outwardly she is, as she says, an unremarkable old woman. She has long concealed her history - and her feelings - from the casual observer. And she's learned to ignore her own past, too.
But as she sits by Michael's bed, she's haunted by memories of events from almost forty years ago. She and Michael were recently married; their children, Eddie and Sarah, still young. Theirs was an uneventful life in a small village. But, stiflingly bored in her role as mother and wife, Marion fell for a married man, an affair that sparked a chain of events which re-sets all their lives.
Moving between the voices of Marion, her teenage daughter Sarah and her youngest son, Eddie, How It Was is a story of love, loss and betrayal. Through Marion and Sarah, Janet Ellis explores the tensions at the heart of mother-daughter relationships, the pressure women face to be the perfect wife and mother, and how life rarely turns out the way we imagine it will when we are young.
This was a good read but just not really my type of read.
The pace of the story was ok but used to more fast moving stories.
The characters were fleshed out well but not really interresting to me.
The plot and story line is written well.
I appreciated the authors time they spent writing and will look for other books by them.
I voluntarily reviewed this complimentary digital book from NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my very own!
Marion Deacon sits by the hospital bed of her dying husband, Michael. Outwardly she is, as she says, an unremarkable old woman. She has long concealed her history - and her feelings - from the casual observer. And she's learned to ignore her own past, too.
But as she sits by Michael's bed, she's haunted by memories of events from almost forty years ago. She and Michael were recently married; their children, Eddie and Sarah, still young. Theirs was an uneventful life in a small village. But, stiflingly bored in her role as mother and wife, Marion fell for a married man, an affair that sparked a chain of events which re-sets all their lives.
Moving between the voices of Marion, her teenage daughter Sarah and her youngest son, Eddie, How It Was is a story of love, loss and betrayal. Through Marion and Sarah, Janet Ellis explores the tensions at the heart of mother-daughter relationships, the pressure women face to be the perfect wife and mother, and how life rarely turns out the way we imagine it will when we are young.
This was a good read but just not really my type of read.
The pace of the story was ok but used to more fast moving stories.
The characters were fleshed out well but not really interresting to me.
The plot and story line is written well.
I appreciated the authors time they spent writing and will look for other books by them.
I voluntarily reviewed this complimentary digital book from NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my very own!
August 15, 2019
How It Was is what I would describe as a 'complex' novel, in that it required (from me at least) a certain level of concentration that I perhaps wasn't expecting. Fans of Janet Ellis' previous novel, will still enjoy this novel. But it is very different as it is not historical fiction.
How It Was centres around Marion Deacon who is practically living in the hospital at the bed side of her dying husband. Through her memories we learn how they met, how they married, how their children arrived etc.
It should be idyllic, but Marion's life has been far from perfect, mostly by her own doing. I have to say that Marion isn't a particularly likeable character, and I found it difficult to warm to her, but then perhaps that it is the point...
Marion's daughter Sarah, is also pivotal to the story as it unfolds, as Marion begins to read her teenage diary behind her back, thinking that her daughter is growing up too fast, and becoming jealous of her life ahead of her.
Theirs is an interesting relationship, as are most of the relationships explored in this novel, many of which are dysfunctional. How It Was is a fascinating insight into these relationships and how a split second decision can change the course of your life forever.
How It Was centres around Marion Deacon who is practically living in the hospital at the bed side of her dying husband. Through her memories we learn how they met, how they married, how their children arrived etc.
It should be idyllic, but Marion's life has been far from perfect, mostly by her own doing. I have to say that Marion isn't a particularly likeable character, and I found it difficult to warm to her, but then perhaps that it is the point...
Marion's daughter Sarah, is also pivotal to the story as it unfolds, as Marion begins to read her teenage diary behind her back, thinking that her daughter is growing up too fast, and becoming jealous of her life ahead of her.
Theirs is an interesting relationship, as are most of the relationships explored in this novel, many of which are dysfunctional. How It Was is a fascinating insight into these relationships and how a split second decision can change the course of your life forever.
November 18, 2019
How It Was looks at the complexity of a mother/ daughter relationship, and how a mothers own childhood can affect this. Or at least it does I. The case of this family.
The 1970s were a time of change for some women, but not the women in this story. Marion is the mother of two children: Sarah, 14 and Eddie, 7. She is unhappy in her life, and has been for many years. We look at her life through a series of flashbacks (and flashbacks through her daughters eyes at the same time) as she sits at the hospital bedside of her dying husband. We learn of the affairs, the terrible relationship with her daughter, and the catastrophic accident that cost the family far more than just a child (although this was quite traumatic enough).
I found it very difficult to empathise with Marion, she’s not a likeable character. She seems self absorbed, I didn’t like how she felt about her daughter (it’s as though she feels repulsed by her), and how she speaks to everyone is simply rude. To me, it seemed to be a mixture of boredom, depression, selfishness and desperation that drove Marion’s actions. Michael, her husband, is endlessly patient, perhaps scared that she will leave him. He puts up with some terrible behaviour from Marion. I really wanted him to stand up for himself.
It doesn’t sound like it, I know, but I really liked this book. It’s a book with a thoroughly unpleasant main character (in fact she’s not on her own on that score - watch out for Adrian!) and they do make for interesting story lines!
This is the first book I’ve read byJanet Ellis, and I will be looking for more.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Two Roads for my copy of this book.
The 1970s were a time of change for some women, but not the women in this story. Marion is the mother of two children: Sarah, 14 and Eddie, 7. She is unhappy in her life, and has been for many years. We look at her life through a series of flashbacks (and flashbacks through her daughters eyes at the same time) as she sits at the hospital bedside of her dying husband. We learn of the affairs, the terrible relationship with her daughter, and the catastrophic accident that cost the family far more than just a child (although this was quite traumatic enough).
I found it very difficult to empathise with Marion, she’s not a likeable character. She seems self absorbed, I didn’t like how she felt about her daughter (it’s as though she feels repulsed by her), and how she speaks to everyone is simply rude. To me, it seemed to be a mixture of boredom, depression, selfishness and desperation that drove Marion’s actions. Michael, her husband, is endlessly patient, perhaps scared that she will leave him. He puts up with some terrible behaviour from Marion. I really wanted him to stand up for himself.
It doesn’t sound like it, I know, but I really liked this book. It’s a book with a thoroughly unpleasant main character (in fact she’s not on her own on that score - watch out for Adrian!) and they do make for interesting story lines!
This is the first book I’ve read byJanet Ellis, and I will be looking for more.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Two Roads for my copy of this book.
July 8, 2019
Thanks to Janet Ellis, John Murray Press and Net Galley for my ARC.
If anyone has ever sat in a hospital room...waiting...they will recognise the atmosphere of this book. I think it was pitched spot-on. People's lives are often complicated regardless of what we think goes on behind closed doors and the perfectly laundered net curtains. Marion is not excited by her husband, or her life in general. She drifted into marriage and having children and wasn't satisfied by either, so she looks outside of her marriage to find it. Most of the story is set in the 70s, but we find Marion sitting by her husband, Michael's bed as he lays dying. They are both elderly, and she has brought a bunch of letters and photos with her from their past to give them something to talk about. Marion's past behaviour leads to sadness for the family, and she pays a very hefty price for the excitement she craves. Marion is not a likable character, but as the story unfolds we can see that her mood in the hospital is dictated by the ending. I enjoyed reading this story although I found the alternating of time a little confusing, presumably because I read a proof copy and it wasn't properly formatted. I believe this is a story of its time, and we all know a Marion!
If anyone has ever sat in a hospital room...waiting...they will recognise the atmosphere of this book. I think it was pitched spot-on. People's lives are often complicated regardless of what we think goes on behind closed doors and the perfectly laundered net curtains. Marion is not excited by her husband, or her life in general. She drifted into marriage and having children and wasn't satisfied by either, so she looks outside of her marriage to find it. Most of the story is set in the 70s, but we find Marion sitting by her husband, Michael's bed as he lays dying. They are both elderly, and she has brought a bunch of letters and photos with her from their past to give them something to talk about. Marion's past behaviour leads to sadness for the family, and she pays a very hefty price for the excitement she craves. Marion is not a likable character, but as the story unfolds we can see that her mood in the hospital is dictated by the ending. I enjoyed reading this story although I found the alternating of time a little confusing, presumably because I read a proof copy and it wasn't properly formatted. I believe this is a story of its time, and we all know a Marion!
May 12, 2022
Haunting
Read
September 20, 2023Interesting tale, but a little long and disjointed.
June 1, 2023
None of the characters are likeable but it was still a good story. Thank God my marriage is better than theirs.
July 6, 2019
Read and reviewed in exchange for a free copy from NetGalley. Initially I wasn't sure about this book - apart from Eddie and maybe Michael, I didn't like the characters in this book, and I didn't feel there was enough clarity when the story jumped between past and present and between the two narrators. The story was interesting, albeit hard to follow at times due to my previous comment, but the last few pages were fantastically written and hit me like an emotional sucker punch, even though what was coming had been signposted throughout - this lifted the book to my 4* review. Ellis creates good imagery throughout.
August 27, 2019
A beautifully written story of a complex and fractured family dynamic. The author is clearly very talented and has created a story filled with emotion (yet knows when to hold back), and has perfectly captured the demands a woman can face (particularly in the era that Marion met Michael) and the manifold feelings that exist between mother and daughter.
Unfortunately, it wasn't a book that I particularly enjoyed, but that is down to personal taste, so I think it's unfair to leave much of a review. I will say that I adored Janet Ellis's previous novel "The Butcher's Hook" and look forward to seeing what she writes next.
My thanks go to the publishers and Net Galley for the advanced copy in return for an honest review.
Unfortunately, it wasn't a book that I particularly enjoyed, but that is down to personal taste, so I think it's unfair to leave much of a review. I will say that I adored Janet Ellis's previous novel "The Butcher's Hook" and look forward to seeing what she writes next.
My thanks go to the publishers and Net Galley for the advanced copy in return for an honest review.
did-not-finish
September 12, 2019I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
DNF. I requested this book because I absolutely loved Janet Ellis' debut, but sadly this one didn't work for me. The jump in times and in perspectives was very confusing for me, and I wasn't drawn to any of the characters nor to the plot in general.
I will still keep an eye on this author in the future, because I love her style, but sadly this book wasn't for me.
DNF. I requested this book because I absolutely loved Janet Ellis' debut, but sadly this one didn't work for me. The jump in times and in perspectives was very confusing for me, and I wasn't drawn to any of the characters nor to the plot in general.
I will still keep an eye on this author in the future, because I love her style, but sadly this book wasn't for me.
October 23, 2023
This book is one of those "quiet English drama" novels where not a lot happens for huge stretches out of it and all the characters exist in a weird dimension of passive-aggression and being unable to say what they actually mean. I've read novels like this in the past, most recently Sorry Isn't Good Enough, which also focuses on dysfunctional family dynamics in the 60s, particularly the mother/daughter relationship and mothers viewing their own daughters as "competition" while doting on their sons.
It took me a long time to get into this book because none of the characters are particularly likeable - Marion Deacon is our protagonist and for the most part she's a pretty horrible person. But unlike Janet Ellis's other book I've read, The Butcher's Hook Marion isn't a bad person in an entertaining way. The author tries to show her life of quiet desperation, where she's seen as nothing more than "Michael's Wife" or "Sarah/Eddie's Mother" and she feels unappreciated and ignored, but Marion never has anything interesting to say. She's selfish, uncaring, self-involved, judgemental and I never found myself rooting for her like I did with Anne. She's just kind of there, polluting the whole book with her resentment and taking her family for granted. In particular, her relationship (or non-relationship) with Sarah was pretty sad to read about. She seems totally indifferent to her own daughter, treating her like a colleague she doesn't particularly like, while she makes her blatant favouritism for Eddie clear and acts like her husband Michael is just part of the furniture and cheats on him several times.
I managed to get through the book anyway because at least stuff actually does happen in this book and it's not just endless monologuing of weird scenes where the characters talk a lot but say nothing *cough The Necessary Marriage cough* and I also found Sarah to at least be somewhat compelling in her coming-of-age story in a family where she's the only one who bothers to pursue what she wants and take action. (Also the chapters are quite short so it's easy to get through it because it helps it feel like you're reading it quickly.) I did find the constant switching of perspectives confusing - the novels jumps between not only POV chapters of Marion and Sarah (Sarah's told through diary entries) but also Eddie and Michael which I found to be kind of superfluous, especially Eddie's since the thoughts of a seven-year-old boy aren't especially riveting or particularly relevant to what's going on because Eddie is oblivious to the fucked-up dynamics in his family. Also she keeps jumping backwards and forwards in time in Marion's chapters which is kind of confusing because there's no clear indicator of who's talking or what year it's supposed to be.
But overall this was quite a let down compared to The Butcher's Hook for me. It's not as bad as some of the two-star books I've read this year, the author had clear intent and purpose and I didn't find much wrong with the book on a technical scale, Janet Ellis has a pretty clear voice as a writer, but I just didn't find it all that interesting. Also I resented some of the group questions at the end that were implying that it's sexist to dislike this book because Marion is unlikeable and "how important is it for female characters to be likeable?" I found this to be something of a false equivalence - I don't demand my female characters be likeable, but what I do expect from any fictional character is that they're interesting, and Marion (nor anyone else in the book except for maybe Sarah) can't even manage either of those things.
Rating: 2.5/5
It took me a long time to get into this book because none of the characters are particularly likeable - Marion Deacon is our protagonist and for the most part she's a pretty horrible person. But unlike Janet Ellis's other book I've read, The Butcher's Hook Marion isn't a bad person in an entertaining way. The author tries to show her life of quiet desperation, where she's seen as nothing more than "Michael's Wife" or "Sarah/Eddie's Mother" and she feels unappreciated and ignored, but Marion never has anything interesting to say. She's selfish, uncaring, self-involved, judgemental and I never found myself rooting for her like I did with Anne. She's just kind of there, polluting the whole book with her resentment and taking her family for granted. In particular, her relationship (or non-relationship) with Sarah was pretty sad to read about. She seems totally indifferent to her own daughter, treating her like a colleague she doesn't particularly like, while she makes her blatant favouritism for Eddie clear and acts like her husband Michael is just part of the furniture and cheats on him several times.
I managed to get through the book anyway because at least stuff actually does happen in this book and it's not just endless monologuing of weird scenes where the characters talk a lot but say nothing *cough The Necessary Marriage cough* and I also found Sarah to at least be somewhat compelling in her coming-of-age story in a family where she's the only one who bothers to pursue what she wants and take action. (Also the chapters are quite short so it's easy to get through it because it helps it feel like you're reading it quickly.) I did find the constant switching of perspectives confusing - the novels jumps between not only POV chapters of Marion and Sarah (Sarah's told through diary entries) but also Eddie and Michael which I found to be kind of superfluous, especially Eddie's since the thoughts of a seven-year-old boy aren't especially riveting or particularly relevant to what's going on because Eddie is oblivious to the fucked-up dynamics in his family. Also she keeps jumping backwards and forwards in time in Marion's chapters which is kind of confusing because there's no clear indicator of who's talking or what year it's supposed to be.
But overall this was quite a let down compared to The Butcher's Hook for me. It's not as bad as some of the two-star books I've read this year, the author had clear intent and purpose and I didn't find much wrong with the book on a technical scale, Janet Ellis has a pretty clear voice as a writer, but I just didn't find it all that interesting. Also I resented some of the group questions at the end that were implying that it's sexist to dislike this book because Marion is unlikeable and "how important is it for female characters to be likeable?" I found this to be something of a false equivalence - I don't demand my female characters be likeable, but what I do expect from any fictional character is that they're interesting, and Marion (nor anyone else in the book except for maybe Sarah) can't even manage either of those things.
Rating: 2.5/5
August 10, 2019
This novel is only one small shelf away from the unreliable narrator category – a woman picks through her life as her husband lies dying in hospital. There's a first extra-marital affair, there's memories of this, that and the other, but it's not all her – no, the near-to-death man chips in with a chapter of his own now and again, almost the only times we drop from the first person, and she also reads her daughter's diary in flashback, so we get to learn some real truths. Right from the off I was convinced this was a novelist writing this – the celebrity name on the cover did give me some pause for worry beforehand, as it might anyone. Two other things to say in that regard, though – one, the diary as written by a school-aged girl never began to convince, and two, I dread to think how many Blue Peter watchers of old will be scarred by Janet Ellis writing in the first person about giving a blow job, on the very first page.
Ellis has a great ear for metaphors and similes, and a great eye too for the tiniest slices of life – a boy picking and eating his knee scab, as we all did. But at times they did feel forced onto the page because she'd been told she must do it. You could almost say the same about the historical detail – the answering a landline phone by stating your number, etc – but that was in the end too likeable. What wasn't so much fun harks back again to how I closed the last paragraph. You get a third of the way through the book, still with the past to be told about in its own sweet time, but the summary then was merely 'mother (re)discovers sex, daughter discovers sex'. Actually, that's only most of the truth for someone else rediscovers sex as well, but then the book slams a moral on to say that sex is fine, but only if you're level-headed about everything.
Ultimately, for me, this moral came too slowly, and in its Zolaesque manner felt like something I'd read elsewhere. There is craft here, and plotting, and definitely character, but also too much left hanging. Why did the daughter make the disparaging comments about the cleanliness of the place? And where is this place they live – a place that is not a town, for they need a train station to get to a town, even though most train stations like the one they start in are in, er, towns. Ultimately, this was a reasonable read, but I think 'too much' is the key phrase, for this didn't really deserve its bulk and could have been much shorter.
Ellis has a great ear for metaphors and similes, and a great eye too for the tiniest slices of life – a boy picking and eating his knee scab, as we all did. But at times they did feel forced onto the page because she'd been told she must do it. You could almost say the same about the historical detail – the answering a landline phone by stating your number, etc – but that was in the end too likeable. What wasn't so much fun harks back again to how I closed the last paragraph. You get a third of the way through the book, still with the past to be told about in its own sweet time, but the summary then was merely 'mother (re)discovers sex, daughter discovers sex'. Actually, that's only most of the truth for someone else rediscovers sex as well, but then the book slams a moral on to say that sex is fine, but only if you're level-headed about everything.
Ultimately, for me, this moral came too slowly, and in its Zolaesque manner felt like something I'd read elsewhere. There is craft here, and plotting, and definitely character, but also too much left hanging. Why did the daughter make the disparaging comments about the cleanliness of the place? And where is this place they live – a place that is not a town, for they need a train station to get to a town, even though most train stations like the one they start in are in, er, towns. Ultimately, this was a reasonable read, but I think 'too much' is the key phrase, for this didn't really deserve its bulk and could have been much shorter.
August 22, 2019
It just so happened that soon after I got tickets to see Janet Ellis at the book festival I was then lucky enough to get a copy of How It Was through Netgalley, what surprised me the most though was that actually my appreciation for the book definitely improved after hearing the author speak about it.
I had only managed to get halfway through How It Was before I went to the event and had found it quite slow and difficult to follow at the beginning. I think mostly that is a quirk of the copy I was reading because each section merged into another and I did spend too much time trying to figure out if the narrator had switched and whose voice I was hearing. This did give me quite a jarring reading experience at times and even though I am imagining that this will not be the case in finished copies, it does obviously have an effect on my opinion.
What I found quite interesting was I did get a fresh perspective after the event and that the slower pace is a kind of a reflection of Marion’s reluctance to deal with these memories that are coming back to her. Death does tend to bring reflection and I suppose considering Marion is not the most likeable character, the fact that she actually is taking the time to be honest with herself did make me respect her more than I did at the start of the book.
There was also a discussion between Janet Ellis and the other author at the event Billy O’Callaghan about how you relate characters experiences to your own and that we may dislike a character because they are a reflection of the things you may dislike about yourself. I did find both Marion and Sarah a little unlikeable but with Sarah I do think that that is true, whilst at times she sounded a little older than a teenager, some of her actions are very similar to things I did at that age.
I think towards the second half of the book as we start to see the tension between the family and the consequences of the actions of each character is where this book really shines. The writing throughout the book is spectacular and atmospheric but in the later stages of the book the added emotion really makes every decision hit home, I was really torn between both smothering despair and surprising hope.
If you enjoy a slowly unfolded character-driven story, with fractured family dynamics and beautiful writing then you will definitely appreciate How It Was.
Originally posted on everywhere and nowhere
I had only managed to get halfway through How It Was before I went to the event and had found it quite slow and difficult to follow at the beginning. I think mostly that is a quirk of the copy I was reading because each section merged into another and I did spend too much time trying to figure out if the narrator had switched and whose voice I was hearing. This did give me quite a jarring reading experience at times and even though I am imagining that this will not be the case in finished copies, it does obviously have an effect on my opinion.
What I found quite interesting was I did get a fresh perspective after the event and that the slower pace is a kind of a reflection of Marion’s reluctance to deal with these memories that are coming back to her. Death does tend to bring reflection and I suppose considering Marion is not the most likeable character, the fact that she actually is taking the time to be honest with herself did make me respect her more than I did at the start of the book.
There was also a discussion between Janet Ellis and the other author at the event Billy O’Callaghan about how you relate characters experiences to your own and that we may dislike a character because they are a reflection of the things you may dislike about yourself. I did find both Marion and Sarah a little unlikeable but with Sarah I do think that that is true, whilst at times she sounded a little older than a teenager, some of her actions are very similar to things I did at that age.
I think towards the second half of the book as we start to see the tension between the family and the consequences of the actions of each character is where this book really shines. The writing throughout the book is spectacular and atmospheric but in the later stages of the book the added emotion really makes every decision hit home, I was really torn between both smothering despair and surprising hope.
If you enjoy a slowly unfolded character-driven story, with fractured family dynamics and beautiful writing then you will definitely appreciate How It Was.
Originally posted on everywhere and nowhere
August 2, 2019
# How It Was # Netgally
I was sure I had already sent my review off about this book, I guess not. I travel much so the review slipped through the net I have to be honest as I always an regarding reviews. I actually thought this book was slow ok in many ways you can not make it really exciting watching over a !over one in hospital. Especially as if you are expecting the person do die. Although it was a slow starter it was also compulsory reading. I know one seems to contradict the other. However it's how this book and storyline was the compulsive side of the book in the end won me over.
It being on the slow side with many memories that was being told it never really picked up pace. At no time did I see what was coming at all. It actually ended up being a real jaw dropped that never ever did I expext, it certainly changed my entire view of the book completely. In fact it was so clever how the author wrote this book, because once you find that real sting in the tale ( stor) you actually realise the book was not slow at all. A amazing piece of a extremely cleverly writing. Genuinely not only did I find it a compulsive reading. Yet thinking it was a s!ow book to read just didn't seem to gel. You do have to ask yourself how can you find a book that's slow to read yet compulsive reading at the same timd. I honestly think you definitely should WITHOUT DOUBT READ THIS BOOK. IT'S MOST DEFINITELY GOT SUCH A MASSIVE STING IN THE TAIL OF LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OUT AMAZING EXTREMELY CLEVER MUST READ
I was sure I had already sent my review off about this book, I guess not. I travel much so the review slipped through the net I have to be honest as I always an regarding reviews. I actually thought this book was slow ok in many ways you can not make it really exciting watching over a !over one in hospital. Especially as if you are expecting the person do die. Although it was a slow starter it was also compulsory reading. I know one seems to contradict the other. However it's how this book and storyline was the compulsive side of the book in the end won me over.
It being on the slow side with many memories that was being told it never really picked up pace. At no time did I see what was coming at all. It actually ended up being a real jaw dropped that never ever did I expext, it certainly changed my entire view of the book completely. In fact it was so clever how the author wrote this book, because once you find that real sting in the tale ( stor) you actually realise the book was not slow at all. A amazing piece of a extremely cleverly writing. Genuinely not only did I find it a compulsive reading. Yet thinking it was a s!ow book to read just didn't seem to gel. You do have to ask yourself how can you find a book that's slow to read yet compulsive reading at the same timd. I honestly think you definitely should WITHOUT DOUBT READ THIS BOOK. IT'S MOST DEFINITELY GOT SUCH A MASSIVE STING IN THE TAIL OF LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OUT AMAZING EXTREMELY CLEVER MUST READ
September 6, 2021
After really enjoying Janet's first novel, The Butcher's Hook, I was really intrigued to see what she'd come up with next.
'How it Was' has quite a different approach, but it still as beautifully written as its predecessor.
The story here concerns Marion, as she sits in a hospital room to keep her slowly dying husband company each day, and remembers the good, bad and sometimes painful memories of their earlier years raising their two children in the 1970s.
It's quite a slow read, and the point of view switches between Marion, her daughter and her son unannounced at each chapter. It's a little confusing at first, but becomes more natural as you read on and get into the heads of each character.
The story flits then not only between the characters, but also between the past and the present, and it can sometimes be quite challenging to keep up.
But there's a always an underlying sense of sadness, regret and tragedy in the background of Marion's memories and, as the book goes on, we get to piece together exactly what's happened that's so awful and why.
As I say, I did find the pace a little slow, but at no time did I feel I didn't want to keep on reading. It's maybe a book more aimed at women than at men - though that's not a criticism, or a barrier to anyone giving this book a try.
It's not quite as disarming and edgy as The Butcher's Hook perhaps, but it's a story that weaves itself around you and beckons you to read on.
It's not quite a classic, and leaves you feeling slightly hollow but, if you enjoyed Janet's first book, then it's worth giving this a go.
'How it Was' has quite a different approach, but it still as beautifully written as its predecessor.
The story here concerns Marion, as she sits in a hospital room to keep her slowly dying husband company each day, and remembers the good, bad and sometimes painful memories of their earlier years raising their two children in the 1970s.
It's quite a slow read, and the point of view switches between Marion, her daughter and her son unannounced at each chapter. It's a little confusing at first, but becomes more natural as you read on and get into the heads of each character.
The story flits then not only between the characters, but also between the past and the present, and it can sometimes be quite challenging to keep up.
But there's a always an underlying sense of sadness, regret and tragedy in the background of Marion's memories and, as the book goes on, we get to piece together exactly what's happened that's so awful and why.
As I say, I did find the pace a little slow, but at no time did I feel I didn't want to keep on reading. It's maybe a book more aimed at women than at men - though that's not a criticism, or a barrier to anyone giving this book a try.
It's not quite as disarming and edgy as The Butcher's Hook perhaps, but it's a story that weaves itself around you and beckons you to read on.
It's not quite a classic, and leaves you feeling slightly hollow but, if you enjoyed Janet's first book, then it's worth giving this a go.
August 25, 2019
I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this, the first novel I’ve read by Janet Ellis. It was very well written, and although I’d describe it as a slow burner, I found it compelling towards the end. The plot follows Marion Deacon, caring for her estranged husband Michael in his last days, She reflects on their lives together and some of the choices she made in that time - along with the sometimes tragic consequences. I found it drew me in slowly, with a sense of foreboding and a slight melancholy throughout. Marion, for me, was not a likeable character - she’s stuck in what is, for her, a stultifying existence, and makes some poor choices as a result. But she was certainly an interesting character, and kept my attention, even if I spent most of the time wanting to give her a good shake.
I loved that the book is very focussed on women, their choices, their relationships and their motivations. The only characters I’d honestly describe as likeable are male, but then they’re also in most cases intentionally less three dimensional than their female counterparts. Rosalind is perhaps the most likeable woman, which makes me feel it can’t be a coincidence that she’s a very tiny part of the plot!
All in all, I’d definitely recommend this - a worthwhile read for a rainy afternoon curled up on the sofa.
I loved that the book is very focussed on women, their choices, their relationships and their motivations. The only characters I’d honestly describe as likeable are male, but then they’re also in most cases intentionally less three dimensional than their female counterparts. Rosalind is perhaps the most likeable woman, which makes me feel it can’t be a coincidence that she’s a very tiny part of the plot!
All in all, I’d definitely recommend this - a worthwhile read for a rainy afternoon curled up on the sofa.
November 2, 2019
This is a novel about a woman, Marion, living in 1970’s in a village in Kent. The book starts with Marion sitting at her husband, Michael’s hospital bed as he is dying.
It goes back and forth in time to when their children Sarah and Eddie were small. Told from Marion’s point of view in the main part but also Sarah’s and Eddie’s.
Marion is somewhat dissatisfied with her lot, falls for a married man. It’s not her first time taking a lover but the circumstances surrounding this has a catastrophic fall out for the family.
The book mostly explored the toxic relationship between mother and daughter.
This book was difficult for me to like, the story was interesting and the writing is emotive. The characters are fully explored but ultimately they are not nice people. The only person I felt anything for was Michael - the ever agreeable husband and father being, really, bullied by his wife. Sarah was a nasty spiteful child whose behaviour was borderline abuse. Marion was selfish, jealous and cold hearted.
Would I recommend it? Yes. I still would even though I struggled with the characters it is an interesting read.
It goes back and forth in time to when their children Sarah and Eddie were small. Told from Marion’s point of view in the main part but also Sarah’s and Eddie’s.
Marion is somewhat dissatisfied with her lot, falls for a married man. It’s not her first time taking a lover but the circumstances surrounding this has a catastrophic fall out for the family.
The book mostly explored the toxic relationship between mother and daughter.
This book was difficult for me to like, the story was interesting and the writing is emotive. The characters are fully explored but ultimately they are not nice people. The only person I felt anything for was Michael - the ever agreeable husband and father being, really, bullied by his wife. Sarah was a nasty spiteful child whose behaviour was borderline abuse. Marion was selfish, jealous and cold hearted.
Would I recommend it? Yes. I still would even though I struggled with the characters it is an interesting read.
September 3, 2020
Marion Deacon is a wife and mother sitting at the bedside of her dying husband. She looks back on her life, her mistakes, and the relationships she damaged in the process.
I wasn't really sure what to expect going into this book and I have to say I did not really warm to Marion. However, for an unremarkable woman (as she thinks of herself) I found her story compelling. The writing was fantastic, the author fleshed out Marion's completely normal life in such a way that I couldn't put the book down.
It aroused some really interesting internal questions such as why am I struggling to connect with a woman like Marion? She was someone looking for excitement, enjoyment, fulfillment... don't we all want those things? The issue for me I think, lay in the way she connected (or rather didn't connect) with her daughter. I found the underlying rivalry there incredibly sad and my heart really went out to Sarah.
This was such a thought provoking character-driven novel with interesting and complex relationships.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the gifted eARC in exchange for an honest review.
I wasn't really sure what to expect going into this book and I have to say I did not really warm to Marion. However, for an unremarkable woman (as she thinks of herself) I found her story compelling. The writing was fantastic, the author fleshed out Marion's completely normal life in such a way that I couldn't put the book down.
It aroused some really interesting internal questions such as why am I struggling to connect with a woman like Marion? She was someone looking for excitement, enjoyment, fulfillment... don't we all want those things? The issue for me I think, lay in the way she connected (or rather didn't connect) with her daughter. I found the underlying rivalry there incredibly sad and my heart really went out to Sarah.
This was such a thought provoking character-driven novel with interesting and complex relationships.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the gifted eARC in exchange for an honest review.
November 19, 2020
A woman sits in a hospital, beside her dying husband, and thinks back over their life together, but things don't seem right... why does she not know where he keeps his pyjamas when the ambulance is about to take him to hospital?
The story unravels, a bored housewife, married too fast, to a dull, dependable man, a child, an affair, another child, another affair, and the inevitable tragedy looms...
The central character is not someone you empathise with, or even feel sorry for, she's a bit of a nippy bitch, who can't even mash a potato without making a mess of it, there were probably millions of them in the 60s and 70s, unhappy that careers were discarded with a wedding ring, and suddenly left at home all day with the trip to the perverted shopkeeper for biscuits the highlight of their day, or fending off the intrusions of a nosy neighbour.
The past and the present, and daughter and mother all jump about in the narrative, which perhaps in audio is difficult to follow but I never found it confusing to read. I do think the book was perhaps overlong, too many tense dinners and teenage diary entries...
The story unravels, a bored housewife, married too fast, to a dull, dependable man, a child, an affair, another child, another affair, and the inevitable tragedy looms...
The central character is not someone you empathise with, or even feel sorry for, she's a bit of a nippy bitch, who can't even mash a potato without making a mess of it, there were probably millions of them in the 60s and 70s, unhappy that careers were discarded with a wedding ring, and suddenly left at home all day with the trip to the perverted shopkeeper for biscuits the highlight of their day, or fending off the intrusions of a nosy neighbour.
The past and the present, and daughter and mother all jump about in the narrative, which perhaps in audio is difficult to follow but I never found it confusing to read. I do think the book was perhaps overlong, too many tense dinners and teenage diary entries...
July 26, 2019
This book was not easy to read, not just for his rather oppressive atmosphere (some of it in a hospital ward with someone who is dying) but also because it moves quickly from the present to the 70s and from one character to another. But it was well written and shows us the dynamic of a failed family unit.
We have Marion Deacon a bored housewife, her gentle and supportive husband Michael and the two kids Sarah who is 14 and Eddie who is 7. Marion is not particularly likeable but maybe partly because we expect a lot more from a mother and wife?
She makes her own decisions which turned out to be selfish and disastrous and pays the consequences, the entire family pays for it and never really heals again. The crunch of the book reminded me of another complex book "Hausfrau" by Jill Alexander Essbaum. I can't tell you what the similarities are without revealing most of the plot.
Overall a rewarding read but that it requires some patience and concentration, not a light read for the beach.
We have Marion Deacon a bored housewife, her gentle and supportive husband Michael and the two kids Sarah who is 14 and Eddie who is 7. Marion is not particularly likeable but maybe partly because we expect a lot more from a mother and wife?
She makes her own decisions which turned out to be selfish and disastrous and pays the consequences, the entire family pays for it and never really heals again. The crunch of the book reminded me of another complex book "Hausfrau" by Jill Alexander Essbaum. I can't tell you what the similarities are without revealing most of the plot.
Overall a rewarding read but that it requires some patience and concentration, not a light read for the beach.
June 26, 2020
After finishing How It Was by Janet Ellis I was left feeling conflicted. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling and then it hit me. I was unsatisfied. Not by the novel, don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed reading How It Was but Janet Ellis has brilliantly managed to make her reader feel the same sense of ennui that her protagonist feels.
Ellis perfectly balances displaying the humdrum but also making you feel the desire that Marion Deacon feels for a different life. The novels languorous pace highlights the stifled feelings of our protagonist who takes any kind of excitement where she can and her lack of appreciation for the things that she has.
How It Was isn’t a frenetic novel. You keep pace with the mundane existence of the characters everyday lives which allows you to feel things as they happen. It is a novel that shows the consequences of wanting for more or thinking that the grass is always greener. It is almost a warning of be careful what you wish for.
How it Was by Janet Ellis is available now.
Ellis perfectly balances displaying the humdrum but also making you feel the desire that Marion Deacon feels for a different life. The novels languorous pace highlights the stifled feelings of our protagonist who takes any kind of excitement where she can and her lack of appreciation for the things that she has.
How It Was isn’t a frenetic novel. You keep pace with the mundane existence of the characters everyday lives which allows you to feel things as they happen. It is a novel that shows the consequences of wanting for more or thinking that the grass is always greener. It is almost a warning of be careful what you wish for.
How it Was by Janet Ellis is available now.
July 29, 2019
The narrative is mainly the viewpoint of Marion, wife to Michael, mother to Eddie and Sarah but it also provides chapters from Sarah, in the form of diary entries, and Michael and Eddie so you need to fix your bearings at each chapter. The story highlights the trudging domesticity of Marion as she looks after her family in the 70s and her longing for change and excitement through doomed affairs.
The timeline is mainly flashbacks as we are aware that Michael is in hospital with a terminal illness and Marion is laden with guilt at her indiscretions. I'm afraid I didn't feel any empathy with Marion, however. Perhaps this is because we get everyone's viewpoint so the identification is watered down.
The characters are well drawn and believable but because the emphasis is on the drudgery of Marion's life the narrative lacks a spark.
The timeline is mainly flashbacks as we are aware that Michael is in hospital with a terminal illness and Marion is laden with guilt at her indiscretions. I'm afraid I didn't feel any empathy with Marion, however. Perhaps this is because we get everyone's viewpoint so the identification is watered down.
The characters are well drawn and believable but because the emphasis is on the drudgery of Marion's life the narrative lacks a spark.
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