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Blaze Your Own Trail: An Interactive Guide to Navigating Life with Confidence, Solidarity and Compassion
A modern, feminist take on the classic choose-your-own-journey book, inspiring readers to embrace the fact that there is no singular right path - just your own!
So many women enter their adult lives believing that they should know where they are going and how to get there. This can make life decisions feel intimidating and overwhelming. While some choices that lie ahead are fairly predictable, such as those surrounding career, partnership, and motherhood, the effects of these choices can lead to more complicated and unexpected turns that are seldom discussed.
Rather than suggesting a rule book, Rebekah Bastian, vice president at Zillow and recognized thought leader, inspires you to Blaze Your Own Trail. "I have the benefit of being a living example of crooked paths, magnificent screw-ups, and shocking successes," she writes. Through storylines and supportive data that explore workplace sexism, career changes, marriage, raising children, existential crises, and everything in between, you will learn to embrace and feel less alone in your own nonlinear journey. Even better, you have a unique advantage while living in the pages of this book: you can turn back decisions and try other routes. There are nineteen possible outcomes many routes to get there. You will find that you have the strength to make it through any of them!
So many women enter their adult lives believing that they should know where they are going and how to get there. This can make life decisions feel intimidating and overwhelming. While some choices that lie ahead are fairly predictable, such as those surrounding career, partnership, and motherhood, the effects of these choices can lead to more complicated and unexpected turns that are seldom discussed.
Rather than suggesting a rule book, Rebekah Bastian, vice president at Zillow and recognized thought leader, inspires you to Blaze Your Own Trail. "I have the benefit of being a living example of crooked paths, magnificent screw-ups, and shocking successes," she writes. Through storylines and supportive data that explore workplace sexism, career changes, marriage, raising children, existential crises, and everything in between, you will learn to embrace and feel less alone in your own nonlinear journey. Even better, you have a unique advantage while living in the pages of this book: you can turn back decisions and try other routes. There are nineteen possible outcomes many routes to get there. You will find that you have the strength to make it through any of them!
- GenresSelf Help
224 pages, Paperback
First published February 11, 2020
13 people are currently reading
132 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
June 30, 2020
Creative, fun, fast read. Life is full of choices and there's no one set path. Intended for a very specific audience (millennial women, likely white and upper middle class).
February 21, 2020
Do you ever read one of those books where you're just like, "Yes! This is EXACTLY what I need right now!" The different stories and outcomes in this refreshing take on a women's self-help career and life book, are incredibly validating, helpful, and fun! I am currently staring at my own fork in the road between two huge life changing decisions and every day I spend so much energy searching for the one right answer and I’m constantly seeking external validation, just like the protagonist in this book. Like me, this young woman comes across many life changing decisions in the book, but in the end it always turns out ok. It is fun to explore her path and answer the "what ifs" without consequences and then reflect back on my own life choices and paths I've taken. Now I’m realizing no matter what choice I make, it’s all going to be ok. Because the choice is mine to make. And no one can take that power. And I can always make more choices later that bring me back to where I need to be. So wow. Thank you, Rebekah, for bringing these stories (and trails!) to life. Exactly what I needed to ground myself in the face of yet another life-changing decision!
March 21, 2020
A thoughtful, intelligent, and fun read that explores a wide range of stories depending on the “path” the reader chooses to make. The central character is ME. The stories are told in a way that is far from gimmicky or predictable which would’ve been easy. It is challenging and at times very humorous. And the correlating data that’s woven in gives each storyline a broader scope than just the storylines themselves. I love that the over arching theme is essentially that there is no one particular “right” path in life but rather a summation of your choices, experiences and circumstances. That’s who you are and who you are becoming. And that’s ok.
November 17, 2019
I was lucky to be a beta reader as Rebekah is a dear friend and we’re in a bookclub together. What I loved about this exploration of the various paths life can take, is that there’s no “right” answer. As an older reader (I’m in my 40s) I saw paths that I might have taken as a 22 yo that I didn’t - because at the time I was very focused on where I thought I needed to go. So it was fun to take those paths and imagine what might have been.
July 9, 2020
Brilliant! A carefully explored and data-driven demonstration of the many twists and turns in our own life path. Some of the bumps in the road and happy endings are things I had never considered that may very well happen to me in my life (sexual harassment in the workplace, people taking credit for your work, moving in with family or experiencing a change in your mental health at a later age).
I do wish there were a few more tracks that explored career misfires or feeling totally loss — so that Rebekah could tell me what to do ;) — but maybe that’s a reflection of my own self-confidence and I should make like the protagonist and jump in head first!
Happy exploring!
I do wish there were a few more tracks that explored career misfires or feeling totally loss — so that Rebekah could tell me what to do ;) — but maybe that’s a reflection of my own self-confidence and I should make like the protagonist and jump in head first!
Happy exploring!
February 15, 2020
Blaze Your Own Trail is such an important read, especially for women starting out on a career/life path, as well as those making a change. By following stories of various examples, I was impressed with the feeling that there is no wrong choice. Each scenario is written with humor and compassion, and backed up with statistics. It couldn't stop reading!
March 11, 2020
I loved the book! Although I was suffering from Vertigo but couldn't stop reading it and finished it in just 3 days.
February 11, 2020
What a fun and powerful read! Through the choose-your-own-adventure format, Blaze Your Own Trail reminds us that there many unpredictable yet happy endings to our own stories. It also allowed me to reflect on—and renew my confidence in—the many decisions I've made that have led me to where I am now. I blazed through it, and would highly recommend to folks at any stage of their lives/careers.
April 3, 2021
Takeaways:
In this imaginary journey, you’ll see possible outcomes of several pivotal decisions.
Approximately one-third of college graduates launch their careers immediately; two-thirds explore other options for five to ten years before embarking on a career.
Seeking fulfillment, you chart a career course in the nonprofit sector.
You take the bank job for financial stability and a clear path for advancement.
Family planning is a misnomer as becoming pregnant often defies careful planning.
Returning to work or staying home with your baby is a heart-wrenching decision with financial implications.
Working, raising a family and tending to a marriage stresses even the strongest relationships.
The “sandwich generation” shoulders the double burden of caring for aging parents and young offspring.
“Move forward with confidence, solidarity and compassion, and blaze your own trail.”
Summary:
In this imaginary journey, you’ll see possible outcomes of several pivotal decisions.
Imagine you are beginning your life journey as an adult. In the following scenarios, you are a white, heterosexual, college-educated female – advantages that mean your experience will differ from those without this head start. You will make choices about your career, a family and where you will live, based on your values and priorities.
Everyone’s path is different, and everyone is a result of both the social systems that surround them and their own actions.
Along the way, you will experience some effects of these decisions and gain deeper understanding of how, often, life deals you a different hand than the one you wanted or expected. Additionally, you will have a chance to see different perspectives and appreciate other women’s triumphs and travails.
Approximately one-third of college graduates launch careers immediately; two-thirds explore other options for five to ten years before embarking on a career.
You’ve just graduated from a respectable college with a dual major in math and communications, and the possibilities seem endless. Your best female friend Sam decides to travel for a while before settling down and invites you along. However, the idea of starting your career is enticing, and reinforced by the burden of many student loans soon to come due.
If you choose the adventurous path, your journey continues like this: You travel to Costa Rica with Sam to teach at a local elementary school. Within months, your Spanish improves, you begin to feel at home and you love the children in your classroom. You start a romance with an Argentinian named Eddie, soon spending most of your free time with him. As the year-abroad program draws to an end, you must decide whether to stay with Eddie or return to the United States and begin your career.
It’s nothing you ever expected, but it is perfect for you now.
If you stay in Costa Rica, you find work at a zip-line adventure park to pay the bills. After several happy months, you grow discontented with the boring work and your relationship with Eddie hits an impasse. You join friends in Ecuador, work on a book about tropical plants and meet a fellow writer named Antonio. Your love for Central America grows along with your love for this new man. You marry Antonio, have three children and spend the rest of your life traveling, writing and enjoying your family.
Seeking fulfillment, you chart a career course in the nonprofit sector.
If you choose to focus on your career – either immediately upon graduating or after your year in Costa Rica – your journey continues like this: You didn’t expect the job hunt to be so difficult. You send out dozens of resumes, explore even the most tenuous connections and stalk LinkedIn for anything remotely within your wheelhouse. You share an apartment with a busy graduate student named Macy and tend bar in the evenings to pay the bills. Finally, you land an interview for a content editor position at a large bank. While waiting to hear if you will get the job, you follow a lead on a position as an office manager for a nonprofit for Seeing Eye dogs. Ultimately, you receive two job offers. The corporate world pays better but the nonprofit opportunity seems like it could be more fulfilling.
To your surprise, this choice is actually more upsetting than liberating. It feels heavy in its significance.
If you take the job at the nonprofit organization, you find your work varied, hectic and rewarding. The executive director, Stacy, becomes your mentor, and you respect your co-workers and clients. You continue to struggle financially, however. Stacy suggests you pursue a master’s in public administration and build a career in the nonprofit sector.
If you take Stacy’s advice, you return to school full time to earn a master’s degree. Participating in a school “social impact hackathon” inspires you to concentrate on using technology to address social issues such as homelessness. An unexpected pregnancy waylays your plans, however. Your relationship with the father, a fellow student named Silas, isn’t at a serious stage, but, surprisingly, Silas is excited by the news. He wants to get married, but you have reservations.
Maybe you’re being too idealistic, but you always thought the man you married would be someone who moved you down to your soul.
Do you join the 23% of American families headed by a single mom, or take the safe route and marry Silas, whom you’re not sure you love?
You take the bank job for financial stability and a clear path for advancement.
If you choose the bank job instead of the office manager position at the nonprofit, you suffer, initially, from “imposter syndrome” – joining the 70% of people who worry that they’re undeserving of their success. You don’t have difficulty doing the work but feel underqualified compared to your seemingly brilliant and confident co-workers. Additionally, your workmates often ignore your contributions in meetings and assertive colleagues co-opt your ideas. You’re not alone. Almost 65% of women experience these types of “microaggressions” in the workplace.
After months of failed dates, you meet Nathan in the checkout line at the local store. You immediately click and the chemistry is undeniable. Just when you hit your stride as a couple, Nathan receives an offer for his dream job. Unfortunately, it’s on the other side of the country in Portland, Oregon. He wants you to move with him, but you just received a promotion to senior content specialist and your future looks rosy. Do you attempt a long-distance relationship or take a leap of faith and go with Nathan to Portland?
The feminist in you is cringing at the idea of uprooting your life and making a decision purely based on the job prospects of your boyfriend.
If you decide to move to Portland, your journey continues like this: You love living with Nathan, enjoy the city and land a copy-editing job. Everything is progressing smoothly until your manager, Robert, hits on you after a client meeting. You rebuff his advances, but he continues to send inappropriate texts and make sexual comments.
Only an estimated six to 13% of people harassed at work actually report it, and of those who do, 75% face retaliation.
You gather your courage and report him to HR, only to receive the advice, “…this will all blow over.” Now you must decide whether to leave the company or go public with your complaint.
Family planning is a misnomer as becoming pregnant often defies careful planning.
If you choose to leave Robert and the job behind, you quickly find a position as a writer for a green energy company. The awful experience of being sexually harassed brings you and Nathan closer together and you decide to get married. You spend your honeymoon in Barcelona. As you enjoy yet another perfect day, you see a young mother and child, and realize that you have a strong yearning for a baby. You and Nathan have talked about traveling the world, but you’re nearing 30 and feel the pull to start a family.
You stop using birth control, but six months pass and unlike 85% of couples, you haven’t conceived. Your doctor finds nothing physically wrong and encourages you to keep trying.
If you decide to seek the help of a fertility specialist, you begin hormone therapy and go through four rounds of intrauterine insemination. The attempts at in vitro fertilization are also unsuccessful, with one pregnancy that ends in a miscarriage. During the following year, you mourn the loss of the baby that never was, and slowly recuperate. You and Nathan begin to find joy in each other again, and you adopt a pug you name Maurice.
The emotional rollercoaster of getting your hopes up and then being let down, month after month, is taking its toll on your happiness.
Ironically, a year after giving up hope of having a child, you become pregnant. You name the healthy little boy Paxton. Your maternity leave passes quickly and leaving your sweet baby to return to work is gut-wrenching. Eventually, you adjust to the new reality, balancing home and work life, and begin to discuss having a second child.
Returning to work or staying home with your baby is a heart-wrenching decision with financial implications.
If you choose to marry Silas, the wedding is more beautiful than you ever imagined. Your parents were surprised and slightly dismayed to learn of your pregnancy, assuming you would finish grad school before starting a family, but are now supportive. Silas’s parents encourage you to move into their neighborhood in the suburbs. They offer to co-sign a home loan and help with the down payment. It makes financial sense, but moving out of the city narrows your job opportunities. Still, like 55% of people in your age group, the idea of starting a family in a cute home of your own is tremendously appealing.
You are madly in love with your new baby and your new house, although exhausted by the unrelenting demands of motherhood. Living near Silas’s parents has its advantages as his mom helps watch baby Zoe as you finish your degree. Silas graduates with a master’s in public administration a few semesters ahead of you and quickly lands a job that he loves.
As you near graduation, the choice becomes real: do you start job hunting or plan to stay home with Zoe?
You are still committed to the idea of using technology to address social issues but realize that a starting salary in your chosen field will barely cover the costs of day care. Moreover, the idea of leaving your baby to commute to a demanding job breaks your heart. The choice between going back to work or staying home is so gut-wrenching that 39% of mothers take a break in their careers to raise their children.
Working, raising a family and tending to a marriage stresses even the strongest relationships.
If you decide to re-enter the workforce, your journey continues like this: You land a great job at a nonprofit organization that matches technical volunteers with nonprofit needs. Although you love the work, you feel guilt every morning when you drop Zoe at day care. Between work and taking care of Zoe, you and Silas grow distant. You engage in a seemingly harmless office flirtation with Jonathan from accounting, until it becomes obvious that the flirtation is in danger of becoming something more serious. You put an end to the emotional affair despite the strong attraction.
Almost committing infidelity scares you into realizing how much you value your relationship with Silas. You and Silas attend couples counseling and learn to communicate productively. You rediscover your love for one another and build a foundation that remains strong through the unavoidable bumps, scrapes and hard times life throws at you. It’s not a fairytale ending, but one that works for you and Silas.
The “sandwich generation” shoulders the double burden of caring for aging parents and young offspring.
Soon after you relocate to Oregon, your mother moves to nearby Eugene. She and Paxton form a strong bond and you love having her within a two-hour drive. During a visit, you notice that her house is messy, and your mother looks disheveled and seems confused. A doctor visit reveals that she is suffering from early onset dementia and should not live alone. Your brother, who lives in Texas, can’t help with her day-to-day care, so you examine your options. Do you hire a caregiver to live with her, move her into an assisted living facility or renovate your basement, so she can live with you? Each option comes with a high price tag and strongly affects your lifestyle.
If you choose to have your mom live with you, your journey continues like this: Just before you move your mother into your remodeled basement, she falls and breaks her hip. She’s discharged from the hospital into your care, and you take two weeks off work to get her settled. You hire a daytime caregiver, but as your mom’s condition worsens her care becomes harder to manage. One day she pulls up all the flowers in your garden; the next she has a temper tantrum at the dinner table. Paxton grows nervous and wary, and the arrangement is exhausting your finances as well as your emotions. This is what being a member of the sandwich generation is like: You are torn between caring for your children and your aging parents.
Of middle-aged Americans, 15% are providing financial support to both their parents and their children, and 38% are providing emotional support to both.
Your mother comes down with pneumonia and doesn’t have the strength to fight the disease. In the weeks that follow her death, you feel overcome with grief, guilt and self-doubt. Eventually, you understand that there was nothing you could have done to prevent her from succumbing to her illness, and the realization brings a modicum of peace.
“Move forward with confidence, solidarity and compassion, and blaze your own trail.”
You’ll face many choices and opportunities as you navigate your life’s journey. The notion of a “happily ever after” is misleading. Life continues to evolve, reset and present new issues as you develop and learn. Continue to blaze your own trail, understanding that, at every turn in the road, you’ll encounter new challenges, as well as opportunities for growth and understanding.
In this imaginary journey, you’ll see possible outcomes of several pivotal decisions.
Approximately one-third of college graduates launch their careers immediately; two-thirds explore other options for five to ten years before embarking on a career.
Seeking fulfillment, you chart a career course in the nonprofit sector.
You take the bank job for financial stability and a clear path for advancement.
Family planning is a misnomer as becoming pregnant often defies careful planning.
Returning to work or staying home with your baby is a heart-wrenching decision with financial implications.
Working, raising a family and tending to a marriage stresses even the strongest relationships.
The “sandwich generation” shoulders the double burden of caring for aging parents and young offspring.
“Move forward with confidence, solidarity and compassion, and blaze your own trail.”
Summary:
In this imaginary journey, you’ll see possible outcomes of several pivotal decisions.
Imagine you are beginning your life journey as an adult. In the following scenarios, you are a white, heterosexual, college-educated female – advantages that mean your experience will differ from those without this head start. You will make choices about your career, a family and where you will live, based on your values and priorities.
Everyone’s path is different, and everyone is a result of both the social systems that surround them and their own actions.
Along the way, you will experience some effects of these decisions and gain deeper understanding of how, often, life deals you a different hand than the one you wanted or expected. Additionally, you will have a chance to see different perspectives and appreciate other women’s triumphs and travails.
Approximately one-third of college graduates launch careers immediately; two-thirds explore other options for five to ten years before embarking on a career.
You’ve just graduated from a respectable college with a dual major in math and communications, and the possibilities seem endless. Your best female friend Sam decides to travel for a while before settling down and invites you along. However, the idea of starting your career is enticing, and reinforced by the burden of many student loans soon to come due.
If you choose the adventurous path, your journey continues like this: You travel to Costa Rica with Sam to teach at a local elementary school. Within months, your Spanish improves, you begin to feel at home and you love the children in your classroom. You start a romance with an Argentinian named Eddie, soon spending most of your free time with him. As the year-abroad program draws to an end, you must decide whether to stay with Eddie or return to the United States and begin your career.
It’s nothing you ever expected, but it is perfect for you now.
If you stay in Costa Rica, you find work at a zip-line adventure park to pay the bills. After several happy months, you grow discontented with the boring work and your relationship with Eddie hits an impasse. You join friends in Ecuador, work on a book about tropical plants and meet a fellow writer named Antonio. Your love for Central America grows along with your love for this new man. You marry Antonio, have three children and spend the rest of your life traveling, writing and enjoying your family.
Seeking fulfillment, you chart a career course in the nonprofit sector.
If you choose to focus on your career – either immediately upon graduating or after your year in Costa Rica – your journey continues like this: You didn’t expect the job hunt to be so difficult. You send out dozens of resumes, explore even the most tenuous connections and stalk LinkedIn for anything remotely within your wheelhouse. You share an apartment with a busy graduate student named Macy and tend bar in the evenings to pay the bills. Finally, you land an interview for a content editor position at a large bank. While waiting to hear if you will get the job, you follow a lead on a position as an office manager for a nonprofit for Seeing Eye dogs. Ultimately, you receive two job offers. The corporate world pays better but the nonprofit opportunity seems like it could be more fulfilling.
To your surprise, this choice is actually more upsetting than liberating. It feels heavy in its significance.
If you take the job at the nonprofit organization, you find your work varied, hectic and rewarding. The executive director, Stacy, becomes your mentor, and you respect your co-workers and clients. You continue to struggle financially, however. Stacy suggests you pursue a master’s in public administration and build a career in the nonprofit sector.
If you take Stacy’s advice, you return to school full time to earn a master’s degree. Participating in a school “social impact hackathon” inspires you to concentrate on using technology to address social issues such as homelessness. An unexpected pregnancy waylays your plans, however. Your relationship with the father, a fellow student named Silas, isn’t at a serious stage, but, surprisingly, Silas is excited by the news. He wants to get married, but you have reservations.
Maybe you’re being too idealistic, but you always thought the man you married would be someone who moved you down to your soul.
Do you join the 23% of American families headed by a single mom, or take the safe route and marry Silas, whom you’re not sure you love?
You take the bank job for financial stability and a clear path for advancement.
If you choose the bank job instead of the office manager position at the nonprofit, you suffer, initially, from “imposter syndrome” – joining the 70% of people who worry that they’re undeserving of their success. You don’t have difficulty doing the work but feel underqualified compared to your seemingly brilliant and confident co-workers. Additionally, your workmates often ignore your contributions in meetings and assertive colleagues co-opt your ideas. You’re not alone. Almost 65% of women experience these types of “microaggressions” in the workplace.
After months of failed dates, you meet Nathan in the checkout line at the local store. You immediately click and the chemistry is undeniable. Just when you hit your stride as a couple, Nathan receives an offer for his dream job. Unfortunately, it’s on the other side of the country in Portland, Oregon. He wants you to move with him, but you just received a promotion to senior content specialist and your future looks rosy. Do you attempt a long-distance relationship or take a leap of faith and go with Nathan to Portland?
The feminist in you is cringing at the idea of uprooting your life and making a decision purely based on the job prospects of your boyfriend.
If you decide to move to Portland, your journey continues like this: You love living with Nathan, enjoy the city and land a copy-editing job. Everything is progressing smoothly until your manager, Robert, hits on you after a client meeting. You rebuff his advances, but he continues to send inappropriate texts and make sexual comments.
Only an estimated six to 13% of people harassed at work actually report it, and of those who do, 75% face retaliation.
You gather your courage and report him to HR, only to receive the advice, “…this will all blow over.” Now you must decide whether to leave the company or go public with your complaint.
Family planning is a misnomer as becoming pregnant often defies careful planning.
If you choose to leave Robert and the job behind, you quickly find a position as a writer for a green energy company. The awful experience of being sexually harassed brings you and Nathan closer together and you decide to get married. You spend your honeymoon in Barcelona. As you enjoy yet another perfect day, you see a young mother and child, and realize that you have a strong yearning for a baby. You and Nathan have talked about traveling the world, but you’re nearing 30 and feel the pull to start a family.
You stop using birth control, but six months pass and unlike 85% of couples, you haven’t conceived. Your doctor finds nothing physically wrong and encourages you to keep trying.
If you decide to seek the help of a fertility specialist, you begin hormone therapy and go through four rounds of intrauterine insemination. The attempts at in vitro fertilization are also unsuccessful, with one pregnancy that ends in a miscarriage. During the following year, you mourn the loss of the baby that never was, and slowly recuperate. You and Nathan begin to find joy in each other again, and you adopt a pug you name Maurice.
The emotional rollercoaster of getting your hopes up and then being let down, month after month, is taking its toll on your happiness.
Ironically, a year after giving up hope of having a child, you become pregnant. You name the healthy little boy Paxton. Your maternity leave passes quickly and leaving your sweet baby to return to work is gut-wrenching. Eventually, you adjust to the new reality, balancing home and work life, and begin to discuss having a second child.
Returning to work or staying home with your baby is a heart-wrenching decision with financial implications.
If you choose to marry Silas, the wedding is more beautiful than you ever imagined. Your parents were surprised and slightly dismayed to learn of your pregnancy, assuming you would finish grad school before starting a family, but are now supportive. Silas’s parents encourage you to move into their neighborhood in the suburbs. They offer to co-sign a home loan and help with the down payment. It makes financial sense, but moving out of the city narrows your job opportunities. Still, like 55% of people in your age group, the idea of starting a family in a cute home of your own is tremendously appealing.
You are madly in love with your new baby and your new house, although exhausted by the unrelenting demands of motherhood. Living near Silas’s parents has its advantages as his mom helps watch baby Zoe as you finish your degree. Silas graduates with a master’s in public administration a few semesters ahead of you and quickly lands a job that he loves.
As you near graduation, the choice becomes real: do you start job hunting or plan to stay home with Zoe?
You are still committed to the idea of using technology to address social issues but realize that a starting salary in your chosen field will barely cover the costs of day care. Moreover, the idea of leaving your baby to commute to a demanding job breaks your heart. The choice between going back to work or staying home is so gut-wrenching that 39% of mothers take a break in their careers to raise their children.
Working, raising a family and tending to a marriage stresses even the strongest relationships.
If you decide to re-enter the workforce, your journey continues like this: You land a great job at a nonprofit organization that matches technical volunteers with nonprofit needs. Although you love the work, you feel guilt every morning when you drop Zoe at day care. Between work and taking care of Zoe, you and Silas grow distant. You engage in a seemingly harmless office flirtation with Jonathan from accounting, until it becomes obvious that the flirtation is in danger of becoming something more serious. You put an end to the emotional affair despite the strong attraction.
Almost committing infidelity scares you into realizing how much you value your relationship with Silas. You and Silas attend couples counseling and learn to communicate productively. You rediscover your love for one another and build a foundation that remains strong through the unavoidable bumps, scrapes and hard times life throws at you. It’s not a fairytale ending, but one that works for you and Silas.
The “sandwich generation” shoulders the double burden of caring for aging parents and young offspring.
Soon after you relocate to Oregon, your mother moves to nearby Eugene. She and Paxton form a strong bond and you love having her within a two-hour drive. During a visit, you notice that her house is messy, and your mother looks disheveled and seems confused. A doctor visit reveals that she is suffering from early onset dementia and should not live alone. Your brother, who lives in Texas, can’t help with her day-to-day care, so you examine your options. Do you hire a caregiver to live with her, move her into an assisted living facility or renovate your basement, so she can live with you? Each option comes with a high price tag and strongly affects your lifestyle.
If you choose to have your mom live with you, your journey continues like this: Just before you move your mother into your remodeled basement, she falls and breaks her hip. She’s discharged from the hospital into your care, and you take two weeks off work to get her settled. You hire a daytime caregiver, but as your mom’s condition worsens her care becomes harder to manage. One day she pulls up all the flowers in your garden; the next she has a temper tantrum at the dinner table. Paxton grows nervous and wary, and the arrangement is exhausting your finances as well as your emotions. This is what being a member of the sandwich generation is like: You are torn between caring for your children and your aging parents.
Of middle-aged Americans, 15% are providing financial support to both their parents and their children, and 38% are providing emotional support to both.
Your mother comes down with pneumonia and doesn’t have the strength to fight the disease. In the weeks that follow her death, you feel overcome with grief, guilt and self-doubt. Eventually, you understand that there was nothing you could have done to prevent her from succumbing to her illness, and the realization brings a modicum of peace.
“Move forward with confidence, solidarity and compassion, and blaze your own trail.”
You’ll face many choices and opportunities as you navigate your life’s journey. The notion of a “happily ever after” is misleading. Life continues to evolve, reset and present new issues as you develop and learn. Continue to blaze your own trail, understanding that, at every turn in the road, you’ll encounter new challenges, as well as opportunities for growth and understanding.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 10, 2022
I had to read this for a work book club. Most of the paths you can choose are heteronormative and focus on the reader's relationship with men and the desire to have babies. There are few mentions of non-romantic relationships and the romantic relationships are often pretty toxic; yet the reader's life revolves around them.
September 12, 2020
Literally devoured it. Best book ever and it cannot come at a better time. If u are like me, always wondering about the what-ifs, worrying about the road not taken, missing out... this books will answer them all.
June 24, 2021
Accessible, relatable and smart, Blaze Your Own Trail reinforces that there’s no one right path in life. The choose your own journey format demonstrated the infinite possibilities we face in a fresh — and fun ! — way that had me re-reading it the second I finished to explore my other potential endings. It’s rare for a first person narrative to feel so inclusive but that’s where Bastian’s professional experience shines. Combined with her clear joy in embracing her self-described “crooked trail” and clear writing style, this is a book I know I’ll be recommending for a long time.
April 4, 2020
This is such a creative way to explore and help the reader with self-reflection and consider what the "right path" is for them. Bastian is self-aware in that the stories she's telling are specific to a white, cisgender, non-disabled female with money privilege and the stories definitely reflect this. But her approach to storytelling and putting the power in the hands of the reader really makes her point - as does the ability to go back in time and change the path the protagonist/reader takes.
February 18, 2020
I wrote this book, so am obviously biased (it's definitely somewhere between 1 star and 5 stars ;)). I'm so excited for it to be released on 2/11/20 so I can hear what others think of it! If you're intrigued, please add it to your "to read" list... and then let me know what you thought!
February 17, 2021
Terrible book. Way too focused on traditional work paths and men.
January 2, 2022
A solid “choose your own adventure” book that helped put into perspective the big decisions you make in life.
Quotes:
“I hope you feel confident that there is no one right choice you need to make—no singular path that you need to be following. Each decision you make will teach you new lessons, provide more opportunities from which to build strength, and hopefully, each will open your heart a little further. And remember, no matter how painful an outcome, or how preventable a path might appear in hindsight, as long as you are alive, you will make it through.”
“I hope you feel solidarity in knowing that every experience, no matter how lonely or embarrassing or isolating it feels in the moment, is one that countless other women have gone through, are going through, and will go through. There is a sisterhood in our traumas, a bond we can embrace throughout time and distance with so many others who share our experiences. If data is what moves you, then let the numbers provide you with solace to show you that you are not alone.”
Quotes:
“I hope you feel confident that there is no one right choice you need to make—no singular path that you need to be following. Each decision you make will teach you new lessons, provide more opportunities from which to build strength, and hopefully, each will open your heart a little further. And remember, no matter how painful an outcome, or how preventable a path might appear in hindsight, as long as you are alive, you will make it through.”
“I hope you feel solidarity in knowing that every experience, no matter how lonely or embarrassing or isolating it feels in the moment, is one that countless other women have gone through, are going through, and will go through. There is a sisterhood in our traumas, a bond we can embrace throughout time and distance with so many others who share our experiences. If data is what moves you, then let the numbers provide you with solace to show you that you are not alone.”
February 23, 2020
Disclosure - I received this book as a promotion for the author who gave a talk at my workplace. This will not affect my review.
This is a quick read and fun to zip by the years of a possible life by reading a few pages for each big stage. Much geared for someone finishing school or in her first few years of work, or possibly part of the way toward the big job she aspires most for. Each chapter, while short, are detailed enough to draw you in and each contain a few statistics related to that pivotal moment in her life.
This is a quick read and fun to zip by the years of a possible life by reading a few pages for each big stage. Much geared for someone finishing school or in her first few years of work, or possibly part of the way toward the big job she aspires most for. Each chapter, while short, are detailed enough to draw you in and each contain a few statistics related to that pivotal moment in her life.
Read
April 10, 2021First ever choose-your-own-journey book. Love it. I will re-read this book again to see how I may feel differently. Thanks to this book, echoes from sisterhood. Life is full of choices: no matter how tough it seems; how hopeless it feels; I know as long as I am alive, I will make it though-stronger and happier.
May 12, 2020
We are faced with choices everyday and often think about (At least I know I do:)) the eternal what-if question. This book is more of an interactive guide that talks about choices and it's written a fun way. Love the fact that it emphasizes that there is no right or wrong path but your OWN!
November 6, 2020
Meh. In terms of a "choose your own adventure," it was interesting to read and the scenarios were clearly well thought-out and well-written. As an empowerment and self help book? It personally did nothing for me.
August 25, 2021
I love the concept of this book but it just didn’t speak to me in the way I’d been hoping. Maybe I set the wrong expectations. I wanted more depth to the narratives and characters, and hoped to find more inspiration through the choices.
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