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Live Nude Elf
Live Nude Elf chronicles Reverend Jen's two-year stint as sex columnist for nerve.com; she details her “sexperiments,” ranging from harrowing (working as a live nude girl at “Wiggles”) to embarrassing (fellatio school) to transcendent (reaching a mystical state through tantric sex). Along the way there is transvestitism, female ejaculation, opium smoking, and heartbreak.
In the Rev's “art star” world, where a young bisexual boy named Orion has sex with a jar of mayonnaise, the more mundane acts of romance—kissing, buying dinner for a lover, and just making eye contact in the sack—become rare and subversive. The experiments, orgies, balloon fetish parties, a stint as the “lube girl” on a porn set, the “lab partners,” and the late nights begin to wear on the Reverend, who craves normalcy, and the columns change their tone: Jen takes care of a friend’s baby, navigates yuppie bars trying to snag a millionaire hubby, and dates a silver fox, “someone older, distinguished, wealthy, and simply grooving with the eternal now.”
After a decade of New York City affairs, Jen unexpectedly falls in love and must decide: Does the life required of an artist and a sex columnist preclude her from monogamous romantic love?
In the Rev's “art star” world, where a young bisexual boy named Orion has sex with a jar of mayonnaise, the more mundane acts of romance—kissing, buying dinner for a lover, and just making eye contact in the sack—become rare and subversive. The experiments, orgies, balloon fetish parties, a stint as the “lube girl” on a porn set, the “lab partners,” and the late nights begin to wear on the Reverend, who craves normalcy, and the columns change their tone: Jen takes care of a friend’s baby, navigates yuppie bars trying to snag a millionaire hubby, and dates a silver fox, “someone older, distinguished, wealthy, and simply grooving with the eternal now.”
After a decade of New York City affairs, Jen unexpectedly falls in love and must decide: Does the life required of an artist and a sex columnist preclude her from monogamous romantic love?
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
4 people are currently reading
545 people want to read
About the author
Reverend Jen
6 books26 followersReverend Jen got her B.F.A. in painting from the School of Visual Arts in NYC in 1990 and has since experienced no financial success whatsoever. She is a performer, painter, playwright, columnist, ASS Magazine founder, Troll Museum curator and Patron Saint of the Uncool. For 12 years she hosted the Anti-Slam, a weekly open mike on Manhattans Lower East Side. She has performed all over the world at venues that include PS122, the Soho Theater in London, and the Kunstverein in Munich."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
May 18, 2010
Funny, personable, and self-deprecating. This book is sort of the opposite of porn - I found myself wanting to fast forward through the sex to get to more of the plot.
I read Jen's "I Did It For Science" column at Nerve, so it took me a while to get to her book, because I thought it would just be all her columns put together in a book. Instead, she did a lot of writing and work to make the book a cohesive story, not just a collection of essays.
If you fetishize the East Village of old, it's a good read that serves as a reminder that there is plenty of peculiar stuff still happening in the LES - and a lot of it has something to do with Reverend Jen.
I read Jen's "I Did It For Science" column at Nerve, so it took me a while to get to her book, because I thought it would just be all her columns put together in a book. Instead, she did a lot of writing and work to make the book a cohesive story, not just a collection of essays.
If you fetishize the East Village of old, it's a good read that serves as a reminder that there is plenty of peculiar stuff still happening in the LES - and a lot of it has something to do with Reverend Jen.
January 2, 2013
If one were to oversimplify matters, one would call this book a collection of essays that Reverend Jen, reigning queen of the avant-garde performance scene on New York's Lower East Side, patron saint of the uncool, wrote over two years for Nerve.com, the literary sex website. But it's much much more than that. The name of the column she took over is "I did it for science." The premise of the column is that each outing had to be a new kind of "sexperiment". Not exactly an assignment for shrinking violets. But also, not something you would normally think of to assign to a woman who identifies as an elf. Rev Jen is pretty far from a Xaviera Hollander, or even a Robin Byrd. But she is an adventuresome lass, and she laid it on the line every couple weeks over this period, as she tried tantric sex, stripping, balloon fetishes, lube girl on a porn set, and many other exploits. A through line emerges, as she begins to wonder how long she can keep this up, and whether or not she will be able to fall in love or have any kind of "normal" relationship. This is Sex and the City as it's actually lived by interesting people, as opposed to the mind-numbingly tiresome materialistic drips who populate the HBO series of that name.(As a longtime friend of the Rev, I'm happy to get a first-name mention as one of the friends who pop in during her marathon screening of said series.) Read this book. As your most unimaginative high school English teacher used to say, it will "expand your horizons".
September 13, 2015
Aside from this book being cackle-diabolically hilarious and endlessly entertaining, there are other awesome things. Here are a few other things I loved:
-All the stories about art scene types, especially performance artists (like the guy whose performance art was to pour baking soda and vinegar in his Speedo and let it foam up)
-How Rev Jen manages to compare almost everything to Lord of the Rings
-Reading about all the awesome people in her life and how supportive and accepting they seem
-There's one passage where, in a couple paragraphs, she perfectly articulates exactly why breakups are just so godawful
-All the stories about art scene types, especially performance artists (like the guy whose performance art was to pour baking soda and vinegar in his Speedo and let it foam up)
-How Rev Jen manages to compare almost everything to Lord of the Rings
-Reading about all the awesome people in her life and how supportive and accepting they seem
-There's one passage where, in a couple paragraphs, she perfectly articulates exactly why breakups are just so godawful
November 2, 2009
I adore Rev. Jen, and this collection of her sexperiments was fanfuckingtabulous.
December 20, 2009
Another Bravura Performance from Rev Jen, really top notch!
January 20, 2010
Hilarious and enlightening memoir of a woman exploring her sexuality. She also wears elf ears and is a sex columnist in New York...
April 27, 2012
Reverend Jen (who became ordained by mail order from the Universal Life Church, a church that will ordain anyone) shares her unorthodox views on art and sex. She decided to explore her sexuality and threw herself into it with unbridled enthusiasm. She slept with older men, younger men, foreign men; she pretended to BE a man; she went to balloon fetish parties… Yeah, I don’t get that one either.
Clearly off kilter but equally committed to enjoying herself and exploring her options, Reverend Jen set out to detail the kind of existence that would leave others highly shocked or deeply envious. It’s obvious from this (occasionally) drug-filled romp that Reverend Jen lives the bohemian lifestyle that she’ll be boasting about to her grandkids when the rest of us are living off the proceeds of our 401K plans.
Clearly off kilter but equally committed to enjoying herself and exploring her options, Reverend Jen set out to detail the kind of existence that would leave others highly shocked or deeply envious. It’s obvious from this (occasionally) drug-filled romp that Reverend Jen lives the bohemian lifestyle that she’ll be boasting about to her grandkids when the rest of us are living off the proceeds of our 401K plans.
August 8, 2012
found this on the book swap shelf at my condo pool. very raunchy, and very funny. think Sex and the City, only X rated. I couldn't stop thinking about the author's mother when reading this tho, yikes! like, that poor woman, does she know what a slut her daughter is? also, who puts this kind of book on a community book swap shelf??
August 20, 2012
Recommended to me by a friend who said it sounded like Carrollton, GA in a book. I think that was more or less accurate.
July 14, 2009
Reverend Jen certainly does wear her elf ears all over (she had them on at her signing at BEA this year).
Rev. Jen reflects on her life as a nerve.com sex columnist, artist, and inhabitant of LES before it became trendy (if that ever actually happened). Overtly sexual with trysts with men, women, and groups of men & women she delves into the truth she tried to pursue for her audience while trying to carve herself a niche in her own life. She succeeds in finding and losing love like most of us and comes to accept and appreciate her artsy friends and life.
At times funny, most times just really intriguing how someone in the 20th & 21st century could get away with such things and not think anything about protection I wasn't completely enthralled or invested. I got through the book because her stories were interesting to read (I'll give the book that) but it didn't make me laugh out loud nor did it delve too deep into certain things. The deeper the story the shorter it was like "Three Beautiful Words" where Jen learns that having your lover request that you look at them during love-making can be the most romantic thing you can hear. Which I agree with. And that's all we get until her nervous breakdown and departure from nerve.
For those into sex writing and erotica this may be acceptable. However, if you're looking for rich humor you may want to look elsewhere. AND if you're seeking to become a sex columnist it's a good precursor to know what you should expect.
Rev. Jen reflects on her life as a nerve.com sex columnist, artist, and inhabitant of LES before it became trendy (if that ever actually happened). Overtly sexual with trysts with men, women, and groups of men & women she delves into the truth she tried to pursue for her audience while trying to carve herself a niche in her own life. She succeeds in finding and losing love like most of us and comes to accept and appreciate her artsy friends and life.
At times funny, most times just really intriguing how someone in the 20th & 21st century could get away with such things and not think anything about protection I wasn't completely enthralled or invested. I got through the book because her stories were interesting to read (I'll give the book that) but it didn't make me laugh out loud nor did it delve too deep into certain things. The deeper the story the shorter it was like "Three Beautiful Words" where Jen learns that having your lover request that you look at them during love-making can be the most romantic thing you can hear. Which I agree with. And that's all we get until her nervous breakdown and departure from nerve.
For those into sex writing and erotica this may be acceptable. However, if you're looking for rich humor you may want to look elsewhere. AND if you're seeking to become a sex columnist it's a good precursor to know what you should expect.
November 8, 2017
This was fun. A one-night read. 3.5
But it was confusing. It shouldn't have been, but it was. I think it's just me. Maybe the chapters were written out of order, but I didn't totally understand how the Rev Jen was squeamish about nudity in one chapter, but had dove into a balloon with nothing but black electrical tape on her nipples a few chapters before - in front of a full fetish party audience. Or how she doesn't feel comfortable holding a key party, but engages in several 3-or-more-somes throughout the book, including AT the key party. And I'm not saying this because of prudishness. I felt pretty akin to the Rev Jen's vices and virtues. (Alas, I don't wear elf ears though.) I just felt mixed up. Like the message she was trying to convey wasn't totally believable. Or whomever wrote the jacket blurb didn't actually read the book.
There's really only one heartbreak on record here. It was (we're told) her first-ditch attempt at a "normal" relationship. And it didn't work. And that was sad, but really, I think the Rev Jen has the game figured out. I don't know if she really wanted it to work. Not if it meant giving up on her true self. It's quite clever really. There's no room for heartbreak if you don't settle for conventionality.
But it was confusing. It shouldn't have been, but it was. I think it's just me. Maybe the chapters were written out of order, but I didn't totally understand how the Rev Jen was squeamish about nudity in one chapter, but had dove into a balloon with nothing but black electrical tape on her nipples a few chapters before - in front of a full fetish party audience. Or how she doesn't feel comfortable holding a key party, but engages in several 3-or-more-somes throughout the book, including AT the key party. And I'm not saying this because of prudishness. I felt pretty akin to the Rev Jen's vices and virtues. (Alas, I don't wear elf ears though.) I just felt mixed up. Like the message she was trying to convey wasn't totally believable. Or whomever wrote the jacket blurb didn't actually read the book.
There's really only one heartbreak on record here. It was (we're told) her first-ditch attempt at a "normal" relationship. And it didn't work. And that was sad, but really, I think the Rev Jen has the game figured out. I don't know if she really wanted it to work. Not if it meant giving up on her true self. It's quite clever really. There's no room for heartbreak if you don't settle for conventionality.
November 4, 2015
3 1/2 stars.
Part autobiography, part collected essays from her column at nerve.com. The autobiography part consists of how she got the job at nerve in the first place and how she ends up leaving. Most of the middle appears to be her essays without much more clarification on the subjects.
This book and subject matter is not for everyone, but I loved it, thought it was great, but I love stories about people diving in head first to new experiences (because I never ever do that), even ludicrous sounding endeavors (not that this is an example of something ludicrous). It could have been so much more, so I'm going with 3 1/2 stars right now. I might add a half a star later.
I liked her direct writing, her why not attitude and her honesty. The New York punk rock elf artist girl and I would probably not get along in real life, but you never know. I hope she finds something else to write about, doesn't even have to be about sex and debauchery.
But that's more fun to read about, right?
Part autobiography, part collected essays from her column at nerve.com. The autobiography part consists of how she got the job at nerve in the first place and how she ends up leaving. Most of the middle appears to be her essays without much more clarification on the subjects.
This book and subject matter is not for everyone, but I loved it, thought it was great, but I love stories about people diving in head first to new experiences (because I never ever do that), even ludicrous sounding endeavors (not that this is an example of something ludicrous). It could have been so much more, so I'm going with 3 1/2 stars right now. I might add a half a star later.
I liked her direct writing, her why not attitude and her honesty. The New York punk rock elf artist girl and I would probably not get along in real life, but you never know. I hope she finds something else to write about, doesn't even have to be about sex and debauchery.
But that's more fun to read about, right?
July 31, 2009
From the book-
" For a lot of people, parades offer an opportunity to revel in a celebratory atmosphere, to be with loved ones, eat fried foods and wear colorful costumes. For me parades offer a unique challenge: What is the most masochistic, obtuse and unwieldy costume I can create, which will prevent me from enjoying myself in any manner whatsoever? And how can I make said costume so unattractive as to prevent any member of the opposite sex from speaking to me?
The Sea Monkey costume fulfilled all of these requirements. While less refined masochists toy with outdated trinkets like nipple clamps and hot wax, I know that the secret to true masochism lies in a full-body spandex and polyester unitard, worn beneath the blazing sun in the middle of June."
" For a lot of people, parades offer an opportunity to revel in a celebratory atmosphere, to be with loved ones, eat fried foods and wear colorful costumes. For me parades offer a unique challenge: What is the most masochistic, obtuse and unwieldy costume I can create, which will prevent me from enjoying myself in any manner whatsoever? And how can I make said costume so unattractive as to prevent any member of the opposite sex from speaking to me?
The Sea Monkey costume fulfilled all of these requirements. While less refined masochists toy with outdated trinkets like nipple clamps and hot wax, I know that the secret to true masochism lies in a full-body spandex and polyester unitard, worn beneath the blazing sun in the middle of June."
September 28, 2012
Rev Jen never disappoints. Though this book is more lighthearted and playful than Elf Girl, it has its share of solemn points that add an emotional subplot to the experiments in masturbation and anal sex. Admittedly, some parts of the book dragged on and made me skim and wonder when the next chapter would come, something that was disappointing given how profound I found her Elf Girl. Like all of her writing though, Live Nude Elf is exceedingly heartfelt and sincere. That being said, if you're considering reading this as your first Rev Jen book, I would strongly suggest reading Elf Girl first, as I feel that book has a power to impress and evoke that Live Nude Elf doesn't.
December 3, 2014
Not a book for this with rigid morals or no sense of humor, Reverend Jen covers her year as a sex writer for Nerve magazine. While most of her experiments are scary/gross/dangerous they also have a tinge of quirky dorkiness that makes her lovable... in a deranged sort of way. In one experiment, Jen and friends try to become groupies:
"We rushed to the foot of the stage to get a better look and were instantaneously swept up in the madness. Legions of dudes banged their heads, genuflecting with devil horns. I too raised my horns in the air until Dodge pointed out that I was actually making the "hang loose" sign."
"We rushed to the foot of the stage to get a better look and were instantaneously swept up in the madness. Legions of dudes banged their heads, genuflecting with devil horns. I too raised my horns in the air until Dodge pointed out that I was actually making the "hang loose" sign."
February 18, 2010
Reverend Jen’s writing reminds me of some of the cheekier columnists from Creative Loafing. You can’t help but chuckle when you read their work, even when it is border line disturbing. She pushes the boundaries of sexual exploration, allowing readers to expose themselves to experiences that I, for one, could never bring myself to partake in. Written from the wrong perspective, this could have been a creepy memoir, but Reverend Jen managed to keep it lighthearted and amusing.
March 2, 2014
This charming, witty, ridiculous, inappropriate, and laughter-inducing memoir is surprisingly heartwarming. As we follow Reverend Jen along on her sexperiments for Nerve.com we see her find and lose love of varying degrees on a journey that is ultimately about self-discovery. Rev. Jen writes with an honest and simple voice that is sure to charm its way into the hearts of even the world's biggest prudes.
November 22, 2010
While I've gotten to the point where I cringe at yet another person's memoirs of their sex work/exploits/fetishes, Rev. Jen's humorous approach to popular culture and lifestyles keeps this fresh and entertaining.The chapter where she and her friends attempt to dress themselves up as over the top "MILFs" was one of my favorites.
May 11, 2011
An entertaining, if not terribly insightful read chronicling her own life experiences as a gleefully debauched sex columnist. I felt it lacked cohesion between the segments, aside from a linear passage of time, and the autobiographical aspects of the book ended up being absorbed by a detail focus that ends up making her personal memoirs read like they're just another column.
June 28, 2011
This book was sometimes dirty and often graphic but also really funny and I admire her honesty and...wow. I'm kind of in shock that she doesn't have syphillis or something but yay condoms! This was a good and fun read and I would recommend it to anyone who isn't easily offended.
May 21, 2010
This was a fun fluff read if you enjoy x-rated experimentation. Easy to read a chapter here and there and not feel compelled to have it be "the book" you are reading; felt like the collection of articles from which it was derived.
July 18, 2010
Reverend Jen, a sex columnist, embarks on a series of 'sexperiments' ranging from being a nude house cleaner to the Sex Toy Olympics. It's certainly an eye opener and I wouldn't recommend this to anybody who wasn't open minded.
January 24, 2017
I love Reverend Jen. Let me just get that out of the way first. What a talented artist and writer. This book was enjoyable not simply because it was about sex, but just having a unique and hilarious, but very honest perspective on such a taboo subject. Perfect. On to her next book.
November 24, 2009
Kind of scary, did I say kind of? I meant scary diary of an adventurous lass trying out various jobs that require nudity and more. Makes ya wonder why people do it.
October 17, 2009
Good, fast, goofy, fun read. If you have any knowledge of the East Village and environs, it's particularly fun due to the fact that many of the anecdotes take place there.
January 8, 2010
The stories are mainly disjointed but fun to read. It gets a little old after awhile.
June 15, 2010
NYC sex columnist adventures. It was cute, but would have been way more fun about 10-15 years ago - around the time I was reading Susie Bright!
March 19, 2010
Amazingly interesting and entertaining. Rev. Jen is a more hardcore version of Carrie Bradshaw.
November 13, 2010
So far, I don't like it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews