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Unshame: Healing Trauma-Based Shame Through Psychotherapy
A book for psychotherapists and their clients - and for anyone who wants to make the journey from shame to unshame.
Carolyn Spring, author of ‘Recovery is my best revenge: my experience of trauma, abuse and dissociative identity disorder’, documents in this, her second book, her journey through psychotherapy to heal and resolve trauma-based shame, which had resulted in a catastrophic mental breakdown in her early thirties and an eventual diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (DID). She then embarked on a nearly ten year journey of psychotherapy through which she came to realise that shame had actually saved her life. However, the cost to this protective function is a life lived dissociated from feelings of joy, connection, love and belonging.
This book explores Carolyn’s pathway towards ‘Unshame’. Suitable for both professionals and survivors alike, it is a fascinating insight into that most private and mysterious of places - the therapy room, and the mind.
Carolyn Spring, author of ‘Recovery is my best revenge: my experience of trauma, abuse and dissociative identity disorder’, documents in this, her second book, her journey through psychotherapy to heal and resolve trauma-based shame, which had resulted in a catastrophic mental breakdown in her early thirties and an eventual diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (DID). She then embarked on a nearly ten year journey of psychotherapy through which she came to realise that shame had actually saved her life. However, the cost to this protective function is a life lived dissociated from feelings of joy, connection, love and belonging.
This book explores Carolyn’s pathway towards ‘Unshame’. Suitable for both professionals and survivors alike, it is a fascinating insight into that most private and mysterious of places - the therapy room, and the mind.
232 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 24, 2019
351 people are currently reading
665 people want to read
About the author
Carolyn Spring
13 books25 followersAuthor and trainer on complex trauma and dissociation including Dissociative Identity Disorder. Formerly director of Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
December 30, 2019
Best book by far that I've read about shame, abuse, and trauma. I've never read something so aligned with my own thoughts and experiences. It was as if the author were inside my head with me, showing me my thoughts and then presenting me with insights I could not have seen myself. She somehow managed to profoundly challenge my beliefs in a way that felt gentle rather than confrontational. And so rather than triggering more shame, this allowed me to react with curiosity and openness. If I could only ever read one book on this subject, this one would be it.
October 15, 2020
I wish she would write 100 more books!
December 13, 2020
My therapist introduced me to Carolyn Spring, and I'm so glad she did. In 'Unshame', Carolyn shares her experiences; highlighting the pain of trauma and the complexity of recovery. Her vulnerability and openness invites you to relate to her thought processes and apply the recovery practices to yourself. She also offers honest hope for recovery from trauma.
September 9, 2024
What I appreciated about this book was its uniqueness in that it gave the perspective of a client in therapy who is really doing the work. It’s a bit monotonous and repetitive at times but that’s because it truly shows what it’s like to be in a therapist session. It’s the repetition, the fleshing out of the trauma narrative over and over which paves the way for healing.
You really get a glimpse here of the internal struggle of the writer as a result of their trauma and I found the honesty of their internal monologue and reactions to the therapist refreshing. I also think there were some beautiful moments demonstrating the “corrective emotional experience” clients can have when they are attuned with their therapist.
I’d definitely recommend this book for anyone in therapy for trauma or a therapist who plans to work with trauma.
You really get a glimpse here of the internal struggle of the writer as a result of their trauma and I found the honesty of their internal monologue and reactions to the therapist refreshing. I also think there were some beautiful moments demonstrating the “corrective emotional experience” clients can have when they are attuned with their therapist.
I’d definitely recommend this book for anyone in therapy for trauma or a therapist who plans to work with trauma.
November 20, 2019
Feeling Shame
she describes what I think and feel. she knows the agony of trying to relate to another person while not feeling like Im a person or anything worth relating to.
I feel seen and heard while reading. it gives me hope that I can tolerate all this upheaval so I can feel real and worthwhile someday too.
she describes what I think and feel. she knows the agony of trying to relate to another person while not feeling like Im a person or anything worth relating to.
I feel seen and heard while reading. it gives me hope that I can tolerate all this upheaval so I can feel real and worthwhile someday too.
February 1, 2020
Honestly incredible, as a survivor of trauma and not a professional I found it super easy to read and understand, any technical terms were explained. I could not have loved this book more, so relatable and interesting. Carolyn managed to put such complex feelings into words and I'm in awe. 100% recommend :)
September 14, 2024
Totally in awe of this woman having the courage to tell her story of therapy. Very honest account of the feelings felt both in the therapy room and in the processing. Such a brilliant book for both therapists and survivors alike it gives hope that there is a way through
May 6, 2023
It is extremely difficult for me to write a review for this book. This books felt like i was talking to a wise person, someone understanding, ready to show a mirror and yet with me through the course of the book. What a beautiful and challenging read, I had to keep this book aside so many times, because it use to get too much.
So I would suggest definitely pick this one up but take your time with it, enjoy it, learn from it, fight with it, get angry and feel proud just reading it because it is just one of those books.
Cherished it, devoured it.
Beautiful! ❤️
So I would suggest definitely pick this one up but take your time with it, enjoy it, learn from it, fight with it, get angry and feel proud just reading it because it is just one of those books.
Cherished it, devoured it.
Beautiful! ❤️
November 3, 2022
Wow. Carolyn Spring, just in case you're ever reading this, thank you for writing "Unshame."
This book gives such a rare insight into the complexity and ingenuity of the human mind. Such openness, realness, hopefulness and most importantly, humanness.
This book gives such a rare insight into the complexity and ingenuity of the human mind. Such openness, realness, hopefulness and most importantly, humanness.
December 30, 2019
As a Clinical Psychologist who works primarily with survivors of childhood abuse, I cannot recommend this book highly enough and plan to buy extra copies to give to clients. It’s a thoughtful book written by a childhood trauma survivor about how she became aware of the layers of shame she had inherited and how she began to dismantle these layers with the help of a good enough psychotherapist. Books like this help me to understand why starting to feel understood can be excruciating to some of the trauma survivors I see in my office. It also validates how being present and attuned with people over time the best you can help.
August 25, 2021
A book with hope woven through every chapter
Trauma and adversity come in many forms, and survivors experience a diverse repertoire of debilitating effects. Shame is always the sticky one which seems to defy simple solutions. Carolyn tells her story honestly and puts the focus on different impacts along with the cognitive behavioural activities which helped her unpick and challenge that shame. With the help of her empathic therapist. It's not the story of her experiences of abuse - a narrative that is only hinted at occasionally. A really worthwhile read for survivors and therapists.
Trauma and adversity come in many forms, and survivors experience a diverse repertoire of debilitating effects. Shame is always the sticky one which seems to defy simple solutions. Carolyn tells her story honestly and puts the focus on different impacts along with the cognitive behavioural activities which helped her unpick and challenge that shame. With the help of her empathic therapist. It's not the story of her experiences of abuse - a narrative that is only hinted at occasionally. A really worthwhile read for survivors and therapists.
April 12, 2022
Such a valuable and insightful read!
As a counsellor in training, it feels like a rarity and a privilege to be allowed this insight into the therapeutic relationship between Carolyn and her counsellor. Shame is undoubtedly a huge part of what I have seen in the counselling room so far and to have it explained in such an eloquent and relatable way has really increased my understanding of the impact shame can have, how to spot it and feel more confident to work with clients to help them challenge and move towards Unshame. My best read as a trainee counsellor so far, highly recommended!
As a counsellor in training, it feels like a rarity and a privilege to be allowed this insight into the therapeutic relationship between Carolyn and her counsellor. Shame is undoubtedly a huge part of what I have seen in the counselling room so far and to have it explained in such an eloquent and relatable way has really increased my understanding of the impact shame can have, how to spot it and feel more confident to work with clients to help them challenge and move towards Unshame. My best read as a trainee counsellor so far, highly recommended!
June 15, 2022
After completing the online training on child sexual abuse by Carolyn Spring, I delved into one of her books. This book doesn’t contain details of Carolyn’s own experiences of child abuse. I wanted to point this out to anyone wanting to read it but may feel triggered by reading about her abuse.
The book is about Carolyn receiving treatment through a therapist in relation to how she feels about her abuse, the many sides of Carolyn and her dissociative identity disorder. This book is very honest and real and through psychotherapy Carolyn breaks down the barriers associated with shame, healing and coming to terms with undoubtedly an horrific upbringing.
The book is about Carolyn receiving treatment through a therapist in relation to how she feels about her abuse, the many sides of Carolyn and her dissociative identity disorder. This book is very honest and real and through psychotherapy Carolyn breaks down the barriers associated with shame, healing and coming to terms with undoubtedly an horrific upbringing.
January 6, 2024
An excellent book for psychotherapists and traumatised individuals going through therapy. The book is an honest, deep, and introspective account of what someone suffering from traumatic shame has to overcome. This book demonstrates the power of the therapeutic relationship, above anything else, in the healing of trauma, and the author has done an excellent job in showing a client's view of the therapeutic world. Books like this are severely needed in the world of psychotherapy. A client can relate more heavily with a perspective that is from the eyes of someone in a similar situation.
May 29, 2021
(Personal thoughts, please do not comment)
Again, another brilliant book. I wonder how useful including an 'unproductive' session example could have been? I've certainly been in some sessions where I've felt I've not done well enough, or haven't made fantastic use of the time. I got the sense reading this that the most productive (not really the right word) is done when both parties are able, to a good enough extent, to articulate themselves, to converse, etc.
Again, another brilliant book. I wonder how useful including an 'unproductive' session example could have been? I've certainly been in some sessions where I've felt I've not done well enough, or haven't made fantastic use of the time. I got the sense reading this that the most productive (not really the right word) is done when both parties are able, to a good enough extent, to articulate themselves, to converse, etc.
November 18, 2021
Authentic and Inspiring
Having seen the author speak a few times and attended some of her training, I was interested to read her books. Both are excellent as she is an extremely good writer. This book is particularly good, taking the reader through the author’s therapy sessions with an authenticity and vulnerability that I found inspiring. I loved how the author explains her internal processes, which I found very helpful.
Having seen the author speak a few times and attended some of her training, I was interested to read her books. Both are excellent as she is an extremely good writer. This book is particularly good, taking the reader through the author’s therapy sessions with an authenticity and vulnerability that I found inspiring. I loved how the author explains her internal processes, which I found very helpful.
August 10, 2019
Healing to unshame
I live the way the author expresses herself and her inner process plus her view and interactions with a obviously talented and attuned one
I like that the book is personal narrative yet generalizable to most who experienced this type of trauma and it’s Just soo relatable
I live the way the author expresses herself and her inner process plus her view and interactions with a obviously talented and attuned one
I like that the book is personal narrative yet generalizable to most who experienced this type of trauma and it’s Just soo relatable
February 20, 2021
Freedom
This was incredibly insightful , a look at what self talk humans develop in an attempt to protect ourselves but which cause is more problems. Read this and you will understand how dissociation works. About switching, because it is awareness and noticing that make the difference.
This was incredibly insightful , a look at what self talk humans develop in an attempt to protect ourselves but which cause is more problems. Read this and you will understand how dissociation works. About switching, because it is awareness and noticing that make the difference.
March 7, 2021
Excellent!!!
Absolutely excellent and made for riveting reading. I work as a counselor and this book has given me vast insights, both for clients and into my own patterns. I'm so grateful that the author has written this incredible work so that others can benefit. The depth and humanity touched me so deeply. Thank you.
Absolutely excellent and made for riveting reading. I work as a counselor and this book has given me vast insights, both for clients and into my own patterns. I'm so grateful that the author has written this incredible work so that others can benefit. The depth and humanity touched me so deeply. Thank you.
March 19, 2021
Carolyn is not only a survivor but a talented writer. This book is well written, informative and eye opening. As a psychotherapist in training I found it enlightening and fascinating. It gave a perspective of DID I haven’t come across before. I love that Carolyn has continued in educating therapists and survivors, and I will be reading more of her work.
February 27, 2025
Gripping, and authentic. From the first page, it was like the reader is right there with the author. Carolyn Spring eloquently captures what it is like living with the effects of severe trauma, and the experiences of what it can be like. She presents a genuine, real, and very respectful journey into her own healing and recovery. This is an amazing book.
May 25, 2025
inspiring read
I read this book within 24 hours. It was like a 7 hour much needed therapy session on shame. Very well written. It provided me with many revelations that will support me in my own journey with shame. Thank you Carolyn Spring for your courage in the face of adversity to help others. May your journey of healing continue.
I read this book within 24 hours. It was like a 7 hour much needed therapy session on shame. Very well written. It provided me with many revelations that will support me in my own journey with shame. Thank you Carolyn Spring for your courage in the face of adversity to help others. May your journey of healing continue.
February 9, 2020
Great read
I have done some online cpd of carolyn springs so saw that the book is available and was intrigued to read it. It gives a very good perspective of what a client may need from a therapist.
A very informative and worthwhile read.
I have done some online cpd of carolyn springs so saw that the book is available and was intrigued to read it. It gives a very good perspective of what a client may need from a therapist.
A very informative and worthwhile read.
March 3, 2022
This is one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read. I don’t usually mark or highlight in books, but this one is full of sentences and ideas that I just had to highlight because they were so deeply meaningful. I will come back to this book again and again.
March 17, 2024
Excellent from start to finish
A truly excellent book, giving information and hope. Validating all the negative emotions and thoughts we are burdened with from inadequate caretakers.
A truly excellent book, giving information and hope. Validating all the negative emotions and thoughts we are burdened with from inadequate caretakers.
August 16, 2021
So good
Very healing to read. Thank you so much! It really took me on a journey and answered a lot of questions for me. Things I hadn’t ever considered but hey I identified with.
Very healing to read. Thank you so much! It really took me on a journey and answered a lot of questions for me. Things I hadn’t ever considered but hey I identified with.
February 11, 2022
One in a million
Wow! I would never have expected or though
possible that I can read a book and think it was meant for me, as though the book was about me
Wow! I would never have expected or though
possible that I can read a book and think it was meant for me, as though the book was about me
October 7, 2025
It's a fascinating insight into a client's journey of trauma recovery through counselling. I highly recommend it.
January 24, 2022
Accessible, relatable, and honest. So many books are written from the perspective of the therapist, and this was a wonderful change of pace. Carolyn Spring captures the tumultuous and contradictory emotions that show up for those with complex relational trauma who are trying to heal through relationships.
Spring captures the complexity of her own healing work, and the gradual shifts engendered over long periods of time. She balances depictions of micro-moments of connection with her therapist(s) alongside useful psychoeducation illustrated through her own contexts. She depicts therapy as it really is (or should be): one part direct, articulated knowing and exploration; the other a deep, felt-sense experience of compassion, care, and emotional holding.
Highly recommend for those looking to explore the experience and impact of shame for trauma survivors without overly technical or field-dependent jargon.
Spring captures the complexity of her own healing work, and the gradual shifts engendered over long periods of time. She balances depictions of micro-moments of connection with her therapist(s) alongside useful psychoeducation illustrated through her own contexts. She depicts therapy as it really is (or should be): one part direct, articulated knowing and exploration; the other a deep, felt-sense experience of compassion, care, and emotional holding.
Highly recommend for those looking to explore the experience and impact of shame for trauma survivors without overly technical or field-dependent jargon.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews