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The Malaise Falchion

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“There are a hundred thousand stories in Mage City. The best ones start with a woman. Or a fight. Mine starts with a fight about a woman.” Thus begins the tale of legendary Dwarven Warrior turned disgraced drunken Dwarven Private Investigator Snazdaggin Kundarik (Spade to his friends, when he can find any). Once a proud warrior, Spade found disgrace during the Demon War and now spends his days searching for a desk to sleep on, a bottle of grog to drink, and a simple case to pay the rent. But nothing is ever simple in Mage City, and when a gorgeous elf walks in with legs that go all the way down to the floor, Spade finds himself embroiled in a case that is much, much more than he bargained for. Intrigue, powerful magic, family drama, and a quest for a world-rending magical weapon are far outside Spade’s usual case work, but that’s right where he’s found himself now. With a hangover the size of a red dragon, Spade and his faithful lizardperson sidekick Crizlyk will battle forces far above their weight class just to stay alive, all to answer one burning question - Can he stay alive long enough to save the world, get paid, and buy another bottle of grog? The Malaise Falchion is the first in the hilarious Spade Case Files, a gritty fantasy noir parody blend of Dungeons & Dragons with the classic pulp mysteries of Dashiell Hammett.

250 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 15, 2016

13 people are currently reading
19 people want to read

About the author

Paul Barrett

7 books17 followers
I started writing at the age of 8. My first story was a 3 page short about Ziggy (the comic character) and the Spiders from Mars (of David Bowie fame). Yes, my first story was a mashup.

Since then, I've written a bunch, but have only recently started publishing. I look forward to this publishing trend continuing.

I've also produced a couple of low budget films, and I'd like to do more of that, too.

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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
Profile Image for Susan.
1,735 reviews39 followers
June 18, 2017
The Dwarf Spade is a private detective who’s in disgrace with his family & clan. When an Elf lord shows up demanding he not assist a certain client, Spade gets drawn into this intrigue with the promise of redemption. Lizard archers, magicians, dragon planes, goblins, and more populate this book.

This is a fantastic mashup of the noir detective and the D&D fantasy genres. I had so much fun with this book! In fact, I listened to it twice since I had left it on my phone when we headed out on a long road trip. My husband greatly enjoyed this book as well.

Now the story does start off a bit light on the female characters. Spade and his little lizard side kick, Crizz, get beaten up by these thugs hired by an elf lord who bears the assassin’s guild tattoo. Yep. That should be enough to dissuade Spade from taking the next case that walks in his door; a young lady elf seeks his help. Perhaps the elf lord should have offered gold instead of beatings. Eventually we get some more lady characters. I especially love Liz the female lizard archer. She’s so practical and so gentle with Crizz, who has a crush on Liz that will never be returned.

A quest! Yes, we have a quest! It’s a crazy, wonderful ride. I love all the humor, most of which is dry observation. It’s witty and acerbic most of the time. I especially enjoyed Spade’s comments on dragon airplane travel for the masses.

The range of magical peoples in this book is great too. If Dashiell Hammet and the folks behind the Dragonlance novels coupled and produced a grumpy baby, this would be that baby. I was delightfully surprised by the variety and also how even minor characters add something to the plot.

I’m really hoping there are Spade Case novels in the making.

I received a free copy of this book from Falcon Sound Company.

The Narration: Jack Wayne did a great job with this book. I loved his grumpy, low gravelly voice for Spade. He made each character sound distinct and there were some challenging voices in this book with all the D&D characters! He was also wonderful with the emotions and the dry humor.
Profile Image for Laura.
588 reviews
July 14, 2019
I received this book for free. I am voluntarily leaving this review and all opinions expressed herein are mine.

This is the first book in the Spade Case Files series. It is a standalone book with no cliffhanger ending but it does set up the next adventure for Spade.

Here, Spade is a dwarf and a detective. He has been ostracized from his clan. Spade spends his days sleeping and drinking. One day, Spade is warned not to accept a case from a certain attractive female elf. So when she comes to his office to hire him, he immediately tells her no. But, she's pretty, the job is easy, would be good money and she promises him that she can help get him back into his clan - so he's in. The job - to find the female elf's brother and report his activities. But as Spade gets deeper into the case - all is not quite as it initially appeared.

What fun! Spade is a great character - some of his musings are very comical such as complaining about the drink at breakfast being very sweet and low on alcohol until he's informed that it's juice or that he doesn't do well in a fair fight so he tries not to engage in fair fights very often. The world building is very good and I liked that humans were mentioned as being part of it but not involved in the story at all. The story is a great mix of fantasy with detective noir and really fun characters. Looking forward to Spade's next adventure.

I listened to this book - The narrator was fantastic. Each character had his own voice, which was completely consistent with their character and enhanced the story. The narration had a great place and wonderful comic timing.
Profile Image for Erin Penn.
Author 4 books23 followers
April 24, 2020
As a parody detective noir set in a fantasy world, this one isn't the full mouse. Instead it works better was a straight-up fantasy detective series with humor laced throughout. Not quite the Garrett, PI series by Glen Cook - but then few things are - but could be put on the same shelf.

A good addition to the fantasy detective genre; high fantasy is way behind urban fantasy in providing us those that solve the crime with a flask of whiskey in a pocket, a wand in the holster, and a flutter as the client.

All the tropes you want from legwork, to brawls. Helpful office assistant, to old war buddy along for the ride. Too much drinking, to flying dragons. Race relations to class structure issues. All in one delightful ball.

Not the absolute best of the genre (Glenn Cook taking first place) but in the top five.
Profile Image for Anne.
119 reviews6 followers
July 23, 2019
I received a free ARC e-copy of this book. The rating isn’t a full 4 stars, maybe 3.5 - 3.75. I have read detective noir parodies and was really looking forward to the noir-ing of a fantasy detective story. It started with good intentions but didn’t carry through strongly enough for me to truly enjoy it as a noir parody.
But I got over it. The fantasy detective story was still quite good, even without the expected noir. The twists and turns kept me interested and the ending made sense in a Pratchett-ian way. I might read another adventure starring the dwarf and his sidekick again but I would hope for a richer noir-ing of the next tale.
63 reviews1 follower
June 26, 2019
Entertaining read, ready for the next tale

Using the same cast as many fantasy books (elves, dwarves, gobs,...) it can be hard to stand out but the author does a good job of world building (GOBLET) and character development and diversification (the little sidekick) that I read this book in a hurry. Keep it up
Profile Image for Stephen.
41 reviews
June 23, 2019
A very entertaining read. Here's hoping there's a second book soon
Profile Image for Melissa Hayden.
979 reviews120 followers
October 14, 2017
*I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

I was pleasantly surprised when listening to this story. Jack did a gruff, rough type voice for Spade and it feels to fit him and the story perfectly from the first word. Then when Crizlyk comes in I'm impressed with his voice. It's different, and feels to fit the size of the being. All the characters have their own tones along with personalities that fit them with the descriptions given in the story. Words and vocals work together to give us a complete feel for the characters in their situations. There was something small I noticed in the audio book through. There are times when Jack sounded different than his normal narration of the story telling. Almost like the section was cut out and a recorded section seamlessly spliced in. What I heard was a different tone than the story around it. It was a small catch and I'm not sure if that's what it is or my iPod, but I caught it in different sections through the story. But don't let this take away from the story as it's well done all around.

Okay. This story is plain fun. You have your fantasy beings - Orcs, Ogres, Dwarves, Elves and more. Then you have your noir mystery feel as Spade is a PI. Then you throw in skeletons and zombies! LOL! Yes! What a combo in one story! And there are the small jokes I enjoyed, like Crizlyk biting the Orcs. lol.

We get the adventure in Spade's case that includes fighting with wands, magic, and fists on ground and in the air. So much damage! lol. Awesome fights as we view the world.

Spade is a dwarf that has his own secret ability, but with the way it makes him feel he doesn't use it much. He also is one that loves to drink and maybe not shower as much. It also seems his brains fall when a beautiful woman is in sight. He missed the clues in a few scenes. I had picked up early on who the culprit was, and I was right.

There was a point in the book where I was waiting for the conclusion. Anticipation? Maybe. But I was ready to get to the end.

Something this book touches on is prejudice. The goblins and hobgoblins have been treated like the dark dirt that no one wants to even step on. They are tired of being treated so poorly with no rights. Though they go to an extreme that's not good, but it raises thoughts on the subject. And can be related to subjects in the world. I like that in the fun there was something solid tucked in there.

This story is different in that it's a fantasy with a noir mystery feel to it. I really like that blend! And there is spice to the characters. Spade is one that doesn't take or give bull. He's a straight shooter with a dry sense of humor. This was well done as his personality is one that's not going to be liked by many other characters. And we see that. But everyone still needs to work together because if not, things are going to get messed up with to many hands working in different directions because they all don't know what's going on. (Mostly Spade will be a problem if he's not told the truth because he's working his case.)

I would enjoy following Spade along on more adventures. I liked him and his friends. Plus, here are hints that there is more to a history of a friends people and I would like to learn more about that. I do hope to see more books!
Profile Image for Emmy.
909 reviews11 followers
May 9, 2017
Dwarves, goblins, elves, necromancers, zombies- and dragons are "airplanes"!!?! I loved this!

This was the most entertaining tale I've come across this year! Which is good and bad. I was deathly sick (the kind where you can't breathe cuz your head is stuffy, nose blowing, breathing-through-your mouth, coughing so much, you go through cough drops cuz you keep coughing them out; but no fever, no aches, etc) so this book really didn't help ... yet I couldn't put it away!

A detective noir in a fantasy world. Humans were alien and practically non existent- kind of mentioned in passing, but not even a side kick- which was a breath of fresh air (especially since these characters don't know what a bath is!) All of the characters were developed before your eyes and flawlessly written into the world building.

The humor was tongue-in-cheek and witty, keeping up with the banter amongst the characters and giving depth to the Magic storyline. Perfect harmony, even in the midst of rivalry.

I enjoyed the characters, their adventure, their charisma, and the double stabbing, double entendre, and the time spent in this world.

Recommended for mature audiences for language and material. No explicit sexual content.

Merged review:

Dwarves, goblins, elves, necromancers, zombies- and dragons are "airplanes"!!?! I loved this!

This was the most entertaining tale I've come across this year! Which is good and bad. I was deathly sick (the kind where you can't breathe cuz your head is stuffy, nose blowing, breathing-through-your mouth, coughing so much, you go through cough drops cuz you keep coughing them out; but no fever, no aches, etc) so this book really didn't help ... yet I couldn't put it away!

A detective noir in a fantasy world. Humans were alien and practically non existent- kind of mentioned in passing, but not even a side kick- which was a breath of fresh air (especially since these characters don't know what a bath is!) All of the characters were developed before your eyes and flawlessly written into the world building.

The humor was tongue-in-cheek and witty, keeping up with the banter amongst the characters and giving depth to the Magic storyline. Perfect harmony, even in the midst of rivalry.

I enjoyed the characters, their adventure, their charisma, and the double stabbing, double entendre, and the time spent in this world.

Recommended for mature audiences for language and material. No explicit sexual content.
Profile Image for AudioBookReviewer.
949 reviews167 followers
May 17, 2017
My original Malaise Falchion audiobook review and many others can be found at Audiobook Reviewer.

This is an awesome read.  It through me at the beginning, this was so not what I was expecting.  When I heard that Spade was a Dwarf and it takes place in a world of elf’s, demons, goblins, and magicians, I thought WOW!  It started off as a 1930’s style private eye type novel but evolved into so much more!

Spade, also known as Snazdaggin Kundarik loves to drink – mainly grog but anything with alcohol in it; he drags two of his friends into the search for a magic sword his friends are two very awesome lizard-like creatures.

Of course, there are lies, deceit, and the limelight hogging wizard, but this is a great listen!  Paul Barrett took a wonderful favorite and turned it into something more!  Crafting a new story altogether, he crosses over genres to combine thriller with sci-fi and make an incredible story.

Imaginative and well-constructed, the story flowed well.  Character development was clear and well done.  I found myself enjoying this book more than I did any other private-eye based story.  The humor was above reproach and entertaining.

Jack Wayne does an excellent job of narrating.  Wayne allowed the narrative to stand on its own, voicing characters without unnecessary dramatic flair. His calming smooth voice was relaxing.

The quality of the audiobook was without issue as was the production.

Audiobook was provided for review by the publisher.
Profile Image for Leserling Belana.
594 reviews2 followers
November 5, 2017
This book is very difficult to rate. I'd give it 3.5 stars, but since that isn't possible, I mark it four.

When I volunteered to listen to the book for review, I didn't know what to expect, but the synopsis made me curious. However, the book failed to draw me in from the start.

I can't say why, though. To me, all the references to The Maltese Falcon felt just a tad too forced.
I don't mind a genre mix, and the idea of a detective story set in a fantasy world appealed to me, but it didn't work for me.
I found it entertaining in parts, but in other parts my mind drifted, it couldn't really keep my attention, and often enough, I had to wind back to listen again, only to find that I hadn't actually missed anything.
I didn't root for any of the characters, though I liked Liz and Crizz, Spade's sidekicks.

What I liked, was the idea of the various races overcoming their animosities and prejudices and working together, even starting to like each other.

Jack Wayne did a fine job with the narration, which is no mean feat, because there's quite a range of characters. The sound quality was excellent.

I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher. As always, this did not affect my review.
Profile Image for Cameron Frost.
7 reviews
May 10, 2017
If you like your fantasy hardboiled and gritty this audiobook may be for you. Paul Barrett's tale of Dwarf investigator Snazdaggin Kundarik (or Spade) skillfully employs much-loved tropes from the tradition of hardboiled crime literature and film noir. If readers enjoy the 'Garrett, P.I.' and 'Black Company' stories by Glen Cook then they are in the right place here.

'Malaise Falchion' is driven by the first-person narrative viewpoint of central protagonist Spade. Jack Wayne's performance fills out Spade's personality. If descriptors such as grizzled, tough and smooth-talkin' were in the brief for the job of narrator, Jack Wayne nailed it.

I was voluntarily provided this review copy audiobook at no charge by the author, publisher and/or narrator.
Profile Image for Terence Thirteen.
Author 3 books2 followers
July 30, 2017
"Mickey Spillane meets Terry Pratchett..."

The title of this book is obviously a play on Dashiell Hammett’s 1930’s novel “The Maltese Falcon”, which featured Sam Spade, the private detective, as its main protagonist. However, I would best describe Paul Barrett’s creation as Mickey Spillane and Terry Pratchett meet in the afterlife and decide to collaborate on a novel… The result: “The Malaise Falchion: The Spade Case Files”.

Imagine Stacy Keach’s Mike Hammer as a dwarf detective, living and working in a place like the Discworld, only darker and deadlier but just as humorous… If that sounds interesting to you, buy this book!
Profile Image for Michelle VanDaley.
1,700 reviews5 followers
July 6, 2017
My review was based on the Audiobook. This was such a crazy fun book to listen to. Jack Wayne does a great job as narrator. The character voices were distinct and the story easy to follow. I loved learning about all of the different species they came in contact with along their journey. I highly recommend Author & Narrator!!
582 reviews
Read
December 24, 2017
I found it very entertaining. Snobbish Elves and a drunk Dwarf, what could be more fun. The Elves hire the Dwarf, a private investigator, to find a priceless artifact. Too bad no one tell him the truth about it. The unique characters and the fast paced plot will keep you reading until the end.
Profile Image for Deedra.
3,932 reviews39 followers
September 17, 2017
I liked this book.I was confused a few times.Spade is a dwarf PI.He gets a visist from an Elf saying not to take a case from his sister.Dwarves should listen!Jack Wayne does a nice job narrating.“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”
17 reviews
August 18, 2017
Great noir fantasy. The world building is very fresh and the characters are a some of my favorites. Must read.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews

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