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Crybaby
Caitlyn Siehl’s debut collection, What We Buried, has been loved by thousands of hearts, in her much-anticipated second book, she continues to astound:
“God, what gorgeous writing. Like I do with all great books, I kept have to stop and step away every few pages to think about what I’d just read. Crybaby is tender and full of carefully chosen, luxurious language. It’s poem after poem of sensual, wide-eyed desire and a total rejection of shame. There was something I wanted to tattoo or study or steal on every page.” – Clementine von Radics, author of Mouthful of Forevers & founder of Where Are You Press
“Crybaby is a masterpiece. This collection is one of the greatest triumphs of Caitlyn Siehl’s young career. There are few poets who simultaneously reveal the wonder in everyday life and expand our understanding of the world. Caitlyn is one of those poets. She perfectly balances radical tenderness and gritty truth telling in her sophomore collection. There is a ravenous appetite in her words, a deep yearning to achieve complete wholeness. This hunger empowers readers to explore their identities and discover their best parts. Crybaby is a compelling read from cover to cover. Bring it home to someone you love. Allow your heart to be expanded by this collection; there is truly something here for everyone.” – Christian Sammartino, co-founder & editor-in-chief for The Rising Phoenix Review
“Crybaby cries with you. Caitlyn’s second collection is what every second collection should be: equal parts heartbreak, forgiveness and honesty so clear it hurts. I read this and couldn’t believe I didn’t have something like this to turn to when I was younger. Hell, I regret that I didn’t have this last year. Caitlyn possesses a true gift in writing about the things that hurt us, the things that haunt us, and the things that also give us endless hope. I am breathless from the sheer unapologetic way in which she describes the mundane nuances of everyday life—from the pancakes to the flowerbeds and all the lovers in-between. Caitlyn’s collection tells you that you’re going to fall, but more importantly, it shows you how to do it. A triumph.” – Kristina Haynes, author of It Looked A Lot Like Love & Chloe
“God, what gorgeous writing. Like I do with all great books, I kept have to stop and step away every few pages to think about what I’d just read. Crybaby is tender and full of carefully chosen, luxurious language. It’s poem after poem of sensual, wide-eyed desire and a total rejection of shame. There was something I wanted to tattoo or study or steal on every page.” – Clementine von Radics, author of Mouthful of Forevers & founder of Where Are You Press
“Crybaby is a masterpiece. This collection is one of the greatest triumphs of Caitlyn Siehl’s young career. There are few poets who simultaneously reveal the wonder in everyday life and expand our understanding of the world. Caitlyn is one of those poets. She perfectly balances radical tenderness and gritty truth telling in her sophomore collection. There is a ravenous appetite in her words, a deep yearning to achieve complete wholeness. This hunger empowers readers to explore their identities and discover their best parts. Crybaby is a compelling read from cover to cover. Bring it home to someone you love. Allow your heart to be expanded by this collection; there is truly something here for everyone.” – Christian Sammartino, co-founder & editor-in-chief for The Rising Phoenix Review
“Crybaby cries with you. Caitlyn’s second collection is what every second collection should be: equal parts heartbreak, forgiveness and honesty so clear it hurts. I read this and couldn’t believe I didn’t have something like this to turn to when I was younger. Hell, I regret that I didn’t have this last year. Caitlyn possesses a true gift in writing about the things that hurt us, the things that haunt us, and the things that also give us endless hope. I am breathless from the sheer unapologetic way in which she describes the mundane nuances of everyday life—from the pancakes to the flowerbeds and all the lovers in-between. Caitlyn’s collection tells you that you’re going to fall, but more importantly, it shows you how to do it. A triumph.” – Kristina Haynes, author of It Looked A Lot Like Love & Chloe
74 pages, ebook
First published July 15, 2016
10 people are currently reading
2043 people want to read
About the author
Caitlyn Siehl
7 books907 followersCaitlyn is primarily interested in healing. Growing up in a small town in New Jersey, she began writing poetry three years ago with the intention of bringing pain to the surface, of clawing through the dirt and excavating it before singing it to sleep. She tries to be gentle with what hurts, and it has helped.
Currently a student at Rutgers University, Caitlyn is studying film and journalism in the hopes of becoming a screenwriter.
Currently a student at Rutgers University, Caitlyn is studying film and journalism in the hopes of becoming a screenwriter.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
January 5, 2022
I read, reread, and reread again the poems Achilles to Patroclus and Patroclus to Achilles. All of the poems in this collection are sublime, but I would tattoo these two over every inch of my exposed skin.
April 22, 2023
Some of the poems were AMAZING, some were meh, and by the end I felt like it was going on a bit too long. I also was getting tired of some repetitive phrases. Overall, very cool imagery and good poems!
January 6, 2017
"Now take your time with this one," I told myself as I sat down to read it. "You don't have to finish it immediately just for the sake of it. Take it slow, memorize its taste, its style, and the way the pages feel against your fingers or something."
HAH.
I finished this in two sittings, and only because I was called for lunch in the middle of it. I didn't force myself to finish it to have it over and done with. I really couldn't put it down. It was stunning in so many ways that I never wanted it to end. It's the first thing I've ever read by Caitlyn Siehl, but I'm pretty sure it won't be the last. If you enjoy beautiful yet simple poetry - which just so happens to be my favorite type of poetry - this little collection won't disappoint you. It was also the perfect book to start my year with, as I'm hoping to read more poetry in 2017. So so many kudos. 5/5 stars.
HAH.
I finished this in two sittings, and only because I was called for lunch in the middle of it. I didn't force myself to finish it to have it over and done with. I really couldn't put it down. It was stunning in so many ways that I never wanted it to end. It's the first thing I've ever read by Caitlyn Siehl, but I'm pretty sure it won't be the last. If you enjoy beautiful yet simple poetry - which just so happens to be my favorite type of poetry - this little collection won't disappoint you. It was also the perfect book to start my year with, as I'm hoping to read more poetry in 2017. So so many kudos. 5/5 stars.
June 30, 2018
*3.5 stars.
This collection was well-written, with interesting imagery - but I didn't feel a connection to it. I liked the idea behind some of the poems, such as 'Achilles to Patroclus' and 'Patroclus to Achilles', but ultimately there was something missing in the delivery in my opinion, and it just wasn't for me.
This collection was well-written, with interesting imagery - but I didn't feel a connection to it. I liked the idea behind some of the poems, such as 'Achilles to Patroclus' and 'Patroclus to Achilles', but ultimately there was something missing in the delivery in my opinion, and it just wasn't for me.
October 10, 2022
Dosla sam sa tiktoka zbog jedne pesme koju na kraju nisam nasla u knjizi.
Izdvajam pesme koje su mi se svidele:
THE MASK
What did you sound like when
God, afraid to get his teeth dirty,
ate you with his stomach
like a starfish?
I think you were afraid. I think,
for all your talk of salvation,
you walked into that light
with rattlesnake knees,
buckling completely
when the light turned out to be
pitch black and growling.
I'm not saying that God
is a monster,
I'm saying that there wasn't
an open arm in sight when he came
to you,
that maybe
he lied a little bit
about all the glory,
the white soft cloud of it all.
That maybe
you had more love before
you took his.
QUIET DEATH
Mother, if you really want to know,
Yes.
I wanted to die for her.
I wanted to lay down
in the middle of the street
and die for her.
I play shadow puppets with her memory;
drink champagne until
I’m tender.
She is the grave
I don’t know how
to talk about.
The one that I survived.
The one that I came crawling
out of, fingernails bent back.
The one that bagged my groceries
and didn’t look at me
the right way,
the way I wanted her to.
Mother, her
absence was the most
beautiful thing I’ve ever
suffered through,
ache like a
purple gown that trailed
behind me when I walked.
I was glowing, mother.
I was the most elegant
loneliness, the most exquisite
creature among all of the
unloved.
LIVING GIRL
They say that you
remind them
of a deathbed.
A graveyard.
Dead girl, they call you.
The grim reaper.
The one who knows where
the bodies are buried but
can’t say why.
They ask why your mouth
doesn’t care about the living
anymore.
You, the one who watched
the world die, who could feel
the sword push through her,
the one touched
by a God that no one
can look in the eye.
Living girl.
Call yourself living girl.
You, with the bat in your hands,
with the voices in your head, with
the echoes, the mourning.
Breathing girl.
Darling girl.
Deathless
girl.
No one alive
can hurt you.
A GOD EATS
Dreaming, now, of God eating
the sun.
His sun.
He unhinges his jaw, swallows
it whole like the serpent.
And then
there is no light.
Not a single
fire to be seen on any stretch of grass.
God eats the flames, too, wishing to
be bigger than the stories.
If I were a story, I’d be the one that
saves you when God comes to eat the
yellow star from your throat.
I’d be the
torch that sends him back to the blackness
that he wants to put inside of you.
I’d tell the darkness to keep its hands off of you.
Not because I own you but
because nothing does.
HEAVEN IS
Heaven is
a pretty girl,
is her perfume
on the pillows,
is her mouth touching
your mouth,
is the fearless way
she kisses your collarbone.
Heaven is
her chia seeds
on your counter,
is her almond milk
in the fridge,
is her mug next to yours,
is her lipstick
on your belly,
on your neck,
on your teeth.
Heaven
is her body
when it is not
leaving your body,
when it is not leaving
at all.
THE GARDEN
What would he say if he knew
that she bit the snake before
she ever bit the apple.
What would he say if he knew
what it really tasted like.
She swears it wasn’t about the knowledge
so much as the fear of not having it.
She didn’t even want to write down,
that it was his holy fault,
that no harm should come to
the girl who got hungry in the room
that he locked her in.
Because she may have listened
to the serpent
but he’s the one who let it
into the garden.
Izdvajam pesme koje su mi se svidele:
THE MASK
What did you sound like when
God, afraid to get his teeth dirty,
ate you with his stomach
like a starfish?
I think you were afraid. I think,
for all your talk of salvation,
you walked into that light
with rattlesnake knees,
buckling completely
when the light turned out to be
pitch black and growling.
I'm not saying that God
is a monster,
I'm saying that there wasn't
an open arm in sight when he came
to you,
that maybe
he lied a little bit
about all the glory,
the white soft cloud of it all.
That maybe
you had more love before
you took his.
QUIET DEATH
Mother, if you really want to know,
Yes.
I wanted to die for her.
I wanted to lay down
in the middle of the street
and die for her.
I play shadow puppets with her memory;
drink champagne until
I’m tender.
She is the grave
I don’t know how
to talk about.
The one that I survived.
The one that I came crawling
out of, fingernails bent back.
The one that bagged my groceries
and didn’t look at me
the right way,
the way I wanted her to.
Mother, her
absence was the most
beautiful thing I’ve ever
suffered through,
ache like a
purple gown that trailed
behind me when I walked.
I was glowing, mother.
I was the most elegant
loneliness, the most exquisite
creature among all of the
unloved.
LIVING GIRL
They say that you
remind them
of a deathbed.
A graveyard.
Dead girl, they call you.
The grim reaper.
The one who knows where
the bodies are buried but
can’t say why.
They ask why your mouth
doesn’t care about the living
anymore.
You, the one who watched
the world die, who could feel
the sword push through her,
the one touched
by a God that no one
can look in the eye.
Living girl.
Call yourself living girl.
You, with the bat in your hands,
with the voices in your head, with
the echoes, the mourning.
Breathing girl.
Darling girl.
Deathless
girl.
No one alive
can hurt you.
A GOD EATS
Dreaming, now, of God eating
the sun.
His sun.
He unhinges his jaw, swallows
it whole like the serpent.
And then
there is no light.
Not a single
fire to be seen on any stretch of grass.
God eats the flames, too, wishing to
be bigger than the stories.
If I were a story, I’d be the one that
saves you when God comes to eat the
yellow star from your throat.
I’d be the
torch that sends him back to the blackness
that he wants to put inside of you.
I’d tell the darkness to keep its hands off of you.
Not because I own you but
because nothing does.
HEAVEN IS
Heaven is
a pretty girl,
is her perfume
on the pillows,
is her mouth touching
your mouth,
is the fearless way
she kisses your collarbone.
Heaven is
her chia seeds
on your counter,
is her almond milk
in the fridge,
is her mug next to yours,
is her lipstick
on your belly,
on your neck,
on your teeth.
Heaven
is her body
when it is not
leaving your body,
when it is not leaving
at all.
THE GARDEN
What would he say if he knew
that she bit the snake before
she ever bit the apple.
What would he say if he knew
what it really tasted like.
She swears it wasn’t about the knowledge
so much as the fear of not having it.
She didn’t even want to write down,
that it was his holy fault,
that no harm should come to
the girl who got hungry in the room
that he locked her in.
Because she may have listened
to the serpent
but he’s the one who let it
into the garden.
April 3, 2019
One doesn't read poems. One experiences them and none more than the spark of brilliance and tenderness that is Caitlyn Siehl. Having said this, I was disappointed. Maybe it just didn't hold a candle to her earlier anthology. Maybe it was the lethargy that seems to creep over me as the pages turned. The poems lacked vigour; stamina. Not her best work I'd say but she is a class apart and I am sure there will be the spirit of her old self back. So full of sensuality, pulchritude, and guts that make her a favourite.
March 9, 2022
27. Are your bones not my bones?
November 10, 2022
Hurt so good. emotional damage.
April 27, 2025
honestamente decidí leerlo por los poemas de aquiles y patroclo, que sí que me han gustado mucho, pero los demás… meh
March 15, 2023
4.6
This is going to sound horrible but whenever I find out who the author is or see a picture the book is often ruined for me. I have no idea why it’s even more intense for poetry but I can’t seem to enjoy the emotions or words without associating it to them and then it’s just…idk I’m just a picky bitch ig
This is going to sound horrible but whenever I find out who the author is or see a picture the book is often ruined for me. I have no idea why it’s even more intense for poetry but I can’t seem to enjoy the emotions or words without associating it to them and then it’s just…idk I’m just a picky bitch ig
October 14, 2022
Jako se brzo čita, ima nekih lepih pesama ali sve u svemu ništa specijalno.
“I’d let her touch me, if she asked.
I’d live in the funhouse
if it meant I could be
small enough for her
to wrap her arms
around.”
“She only wanted to travel
to get out of her body
but she is in Colorado now
and you’re touching her.”
“Because there’s nothing
to say. Nothing to do now.
No going anywhere
except with
her.”
“And you just came to dance,
to drink, to look pretty with your friends.
And they have to come and touch you
when you don’t want them to.
And they have to make you afraid.
And they make a body a war,
a body a secret,
a tragedy.”
“She didn’t even want to write down,
that it was his holy fault,
that no harm should come to
the girl who got hungry in the room
that he locked her in.”
“I’d let her touch me, if she asked.
I’d live in the funhouse
if it meant I could be
small enough for her
to wrap her arms
around.”
“She only wanted to travel
to get out of her body
but she is in Colorado now
and you’re touching her.”
“Because there’s nothing
to say. Nothing to do now.
No going anywhere
except with
her.”
“And you just came to dance,
to drink, to look pretty with your friends.
And they have to come and touch you
when you don’t want them to.
And they have to make you afraid.
And they make a body a war,
a body a secret,
a tragedy.”
“She didn’t even want to write down,
that it was his holy fault,
that no harm should come to
the girl who got hungry in the room
that he locked her in.”
March 5, 2017
Beautiful - her poetry punches you in the gut and takes your breath, then gives it back with a kiss
July 14, 2017
I go back to this very often.
July 28, 2017
I don't know how she does it.
June 20, 2020
Really good book!!!
June 28, 2022
Too good!
September 26, 2022
Faves:
Unremarkable
Eden
Forgotten
Moth
Stay
Burning
Unremarkable
Eden
Forgotten
Moth
Stay
Burning
August 7, 2022
I must admit that I bought this solely for the Achilles and Patroclus poems that I was shown were in here. I absolutely love their tragic lovestory and I couldn't resist orderinf this. I absolutely loved the Greek mythology poems in this collection, and the Patrochilles poems in here were beautiful.
Greek mythology aside, I love how raw all the poems are. Some if them need some work, but I enjoyed the very real emotions that bleed through these pages and evoked such an emotional response, especially the ones I feel I can relate to.
My favorite poems (aside from Achilles and Patroclus) is FEAR, WASH, and HOOK.
Greek mythology aside, I love how raw all the poems are. Some if them need some work, but I enjoyed the very real emotions that bleed through these pages and evoked such an emotional response, especially the ones I feel I can relate to.
My favorite poems (aside from Achilles and Patroclus) is FEAR, WASH, and HOOK.
May 15, 2023
I can't stop myself from rereading it again and again, here's some of my faves
"I wanted to be a piece of heaven that got stuck in your throat.I wanted a love like holy water.I wanted a bible that remembered me."
"My last wish was to sleep beside you in our tent.To hide you so well in the after life that no God could take you from me again."
"I wrote it down.I wrote your name dow nand you emptied out of me,splattering onto the paper like spilled soup.It hurt but I did it.The only ghost you gave me was the one I killed."
"STEP FOUR: hold your death wish away from the body after you see The Fantasy kiss a real person who isn’t you."
"I wanted to be a piece of heaven that got stuck in your throat.I wanted a love like holy water.I wanted a bible that remembered me."
"My last wish was to sleep beside you in our tent.To hide you so well in the after life that no God could take you from me again."
"I wrote it down.I wrote your name dow nand you emptied out of me,splattering onto the paper like spilled soup.It hurt but I did it.The only ghost you gave me was the one I killed."
"STEP FOUR: hold your death wish away from the body after you see The Fantasy kiss a real person who isn’t you."
October 26, 2017
I followed up with this collection after reading Siehl’s first collection, “What We Buried”. While this one was absolutely wonderful - it didn’t hit me as hard as the first collection.
But of course Siehl is still very in your face and brings you deep into her emotions, while trying to reach out to ours as well. “Crybaby” is less about the grit of it all, and moreso about growing and understanding. I enjoyed it very much and I see myself going back to her poems for support often. She’s very special and brutally honest - and I love it.
But of course Siehl is still very in your face and brings you deep into her emotions, while trying to reach out to ours as well. “Crybaby” is less about the grit of it all, and moreso about growing and understanding. I enjoyed it very much and I see myself going back to her poems for support often. She’s very special and brutally honest - and I love it.
July 17, 2023
BURNING
Love, you said, was a fire
outside the door of a place
you don't want to be anymore.
An ambulance waiting
around the corner.
I pictured the cathedral of you
going up in flames, then,
the holy dresser melting your
holy clothes.
Every inch of the blessed bed orange and
angry.
I swear I'll survive every fire
after this one.
I'll walk out of every house
I ever missed you in
and let the smoke eat the doorways.
I'll write on the walls:
You are sacred because
I have made you sacred.
There's no burning that I did not create.
Love, you said, was a fire
outside the door of a place
you don't want to be anymore.
An ambulance waiting
around the corner.
I pictured the cathedral of you
going up in flames, then,
the holy dresser melting your
holy clothes.
Every inch of the blessed bed orange and
angry.
I swear I'll survive every fire
after this one.
I'll walk out of every house
I ever missed you in
and let the smoke eat the doorways.
I'll write on the walls:
You are sacred because
I have made you sacred.
There's no burning that I did not create.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 10, 2022
The poems from this collection that I liked were the following (the ones in bold were my personal favourites):
- QUIET DEATH
- LIVING GIRL
- SCISSORHANDS
- ACHILLES TO PATROCLUS
- PATROCLUS TO ACHILLES
- WASH
- FINCH
- FLOWER BOY
- PHILADELPHIA
- CUT
- ICE FISHING
- HEAVY
- MIRRORS
- EDEN
- LOCKED
- FORGOTTEN
- RUMINATION
- LOVELESS
- QUIET DEATH
- LIVING GIRL
- SCISSORHANDS
- ACHILLES TO PATROCLUS
- PATROCLUS TO ACHILLES
- WASH
- FINCH
- FLOWER BOY
- PHILADELPHIA
- CUT
- ICE FISHING
- HEAVY
- MIRRORS
- EDEN
- LOCKED
- FORGOTTEN
- RUMINATION
- LOVELESS
November 15, 2022
This book of poetry by Caitlyn Siehl is a work
of art. Stunning, emotional prose and minimalist
illustrations make this book feel very intimate, as if you
know the author personally. The poems are sometimes
sweet, sometimes sad and often times very touching.
It's lovely and well worth the time.
of art. Stunning, emotional prose and minimalist
illustrations make this book feel very intimate, as if you
know the author personally. The poems are sometimes
sweet, sometimes sad and often times very touching.
It's lovely and well worth the time.
December 29, 2022
The woman was too stunned to speak (its me, I’m the woman). This book is amazing. My jaw was on the floor for half these poems. They were beautiful and powerful. There was some greek myth thrown in there that I loved. I just really love when wlw write poetry.
December 26, 2017
3.75/5
March 21, 2018
3.5 stars
January 14, 2019
This book is mainly a collection of poems about the sweet and not so sweet parts of relationships. Some of my favorite poems were Unremarkable, Finch, With Teeth, Airport, and The Garden.
June 13, 2022
It was pretty good
June 18, 2022
2,75⭐️
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews