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Two Dads and Three Girls: Searching for Sexual Identity, Falling in Love, and Building a Family through Surrogacy
One hundred percent made in China, Nick (Yu) grew up in an environment where being gay was not an option. The expectation from his parents and pressure from the society molded him into the “best student” and “best employee.” He made his family proud. But deep inside, he knew that something was missing, and he was different.
In this memoir, Nick (Yu) takes readers on his journey from growing up as a confused “straight” boy from China to today having a lovely husband and three girls through surrogacy. He invites readers to the experiences that he would rather have forgotten – from being sexually harassed by his desk-mate in middle school, through depression and a one-night stand in college, to losing a baby during pregnancy.
With ultimate honesty and absolute vulnerability, Nick shares the happiness and sadness on the journey to come out to himself, his parents and friends; learn about gay culture in America, cherish his Chinese heritage, find his first love, and create a family through surrogacy and the help of many amazing people.
Two Dads and Three Girls is a celebration of courage and love. It challenges each of us to dig deep into our soul to find what matters most to us, gain courage through the stories, and live our lives in truth.
“This is a story of one man’s determination to be himself and achieve his goals, in both love and work, told with captivating honesty, vulnerability and humor. It’s also a story very much of our time, when the issues of immigration and gay marriage/family life still roil society. You won’t forget Two Dads and Three Girls.” – Margaret Diehl
292 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 26, 2019
59 people are currently reading
621 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
December 2, 2019
Two Dads and Three Girls
By Nick (Yu) He
Published by the author, 2019
Five stars
“If we live out loud, we can trounce the hatred, and expand everyone’s lives.”
Recommended by a friend, I waited until I had a quiet couple of days to settle into this personal story of a gay Chinese man finding a new life and creating a family in the West. Nick He’s memoir might seem a little premature – since the author is not yet forty – but, clearly he was driven by a sense that telling his story was somehow imperative, that it was a story that needed to be shared.
I can’t say I disagree. There is something so startlingly innocent, so wide-eyed about He’s telling of his life story that it is hard to resist. The writing is stilted and makes no attempt at being literary, but its sincerity makes up for it. It is, after all the story that matters. A generation younger than I am (i.e. young enough to be my son), He’s journey from Hunan in China to Seattle in the American Northwest is both epic and intensely personal. The eeriest thing about it, to me, is the fact that, while every single thing in Nick He’s life is different from mine, it is also entirely recognizable and parallel to every single thing in my own life. Nick He and I are entirely different in every way – and yet somehow just the same. This is exactly why the life stories of LGBT people are so important: each of us is unique, but we share something that ties us all together.
Born He Yu in Hunan Province, Nick’s parents moved to Guangzhou for his education, pushing him relentlessly (in what has become something of a Chinese stereotype for Americans) to excel as a student. Success at the best university in China let him to a graduate degree and an American nickname at Duke University in North Carolina, and then to a career with Microsoft.
Throughout all of this, described with clear-eyed anguish, Nick is haunted by the specter of being gay in a world where it is not acceptable, or even imaginable. He ultimately flees from the culture in which he was raised, feeling that the only way to be free and happy is to reject everything he’s been taught as a Chinese man. It is only after he achieves something like happiness that he begins to realize that perhaps not everything his parents and his native culture taught him is wrong.
As a gay man who came out in the seventies and ultimately adopted children with his life partner (now husband) in the 1990s, it was stunning to feel such strong empathy with Nick’s story, in spite of how alien much of it felt to me at first.
Our stories matter. More gay men and women need to write memoirs, and more publishers need to step up and embrace these stories. Of course, self-publishing and (dare I say it) Amazon have change the face of the world of books.
By Nick (Yu) He
Published by the author, 2019
Five stars
“If we live out loud, we can trounce the hatred, and expand everyone’s lives.”
Recommended by a friend, I waited until I had a quiet couple of days to settle into this personal story of a gay Chinese man finding a new life and creating a family in the West. Nick He’s memoir might seem a little premature – since the author is not yet forty – but, clearly he was driven by a sense that telling his story was somehow imperative, that it was a story that needed to be shared.
I can’t say I disagree. There is something so startlingly innocent, so wide-eyed about He’s telling of his life story that it is hard to resist. The writing is stilted and makes no attempt at being literary, but its sincerity makes up for it. It is, after all the story that matters. A generation younger than I am (i.e. young enough to be my son), He’s journey from Hunan in China to Seattle in the American Northwest is both epic and intensely personal. The eeriest thing about it, to me, is the fact that, while every single thing in Nick He’s life is different from mine, it is also entirely recognizable and parallel to every single thing in my own life. Nick He and I are entirely different in every way – and yet somehow just the same. This is exactly why the life stories of LGBT people are so important: each of us is unique, but we share something that ties us all together.
Born He Yu in Hunan Province, Nick’s parents moved to Guangzhou for his education, pushing him relentlessly (in what has become something of a Chinese stereotype for Americans) to excel as a student. Success at the best university in China let him to a graduate degree and an American nickname at Duke University in North Carolina, and then to a career with Microsoft.
Throughout all of this, described with clear-eyed anguish, Nick is haunted by the specter of being gay in a world where it is not acceptable, or even imaginable. He ultimately flees from the culture in which he was raised, feeling that the only way to be free and happy is to reject everything he’s been taught as a Chinese man. It is only after he achieves something like happiness that he begins to realize that perhaps not everything his parents and his native culture taught him is wrong.
As a gay man who came out in the seventies and ultimately adopted children with his life partner (now husband) in the 1990s, it was stunning to feel such strong empathy with Nick’s story, in spite of how alien much of it felt to me at first.
Our stories matter. More gay men and women need to write memoirs, and more publishers need to step up and embrace these stories. Of course, self-publishing and (dare I say it) Amazon have change the face of the world of books.
June 2, 2019
An eye-opening, fun read with the power to change the way you think of yourself and others. This book is very well written and edited and I found it fascinating. It’s a frank look at the struggles associated with being gay, coming out, and having children, but it’s also about doing what’s difficult, confronting your fears, accepting yourself. I found it both liberating and thought-provoking, and I love the author’s website – where you can meet the family in pictures and videos. Do yourself a favour and sit back, relax and enjoy – and grow yourself along the way.
August 9, 2019
This book was so inspirational. And a “feel good” book. Brought happy tears to my eyes. My daughter is married to a amazing woman and i love the love they have for each other. And id have it no other way. All that matters is that they found love. In this crazy hateful world, why reject anyone that just wants peace, harmony, and unconditional love for another human being? Only wishing the best for Nick Bryan and the gorgeous babies.
December 8, 2019
The true coming out story and fathering of three girls.
Nick (Yu) He can make you forget that you are reading a true story. Two Dads and Three Girls: Searching for Sexual Identity, Falling in Love, and Building a Family through Surrogacy (B07S9V8S31, 2019) reads as a funny fictional coming out story with a happy ending.
Most geeks (like me) can relate to focusing on studies and hobbies to the exclusion of life. He’s first exploration into the LGBTQ+ nightlife is hilarious and not to far off from mine. I spent a lot of time laughing and shaking my head “yes”.
He does not shy away from the hardships of relationships in the community that are common also in the straight world. He also shares his desire for a family and to raise his children in an environment different from his own childhood. This sounds so familiar - especially to those who did not have a supportive family.
His honesty and humor especially when it is at himself is a joy to read. I am glad that he was convinced to write this book. I wish his family and him every happiness and peace that can be squeezed out this thing we call life. Thank you for sharing your life with us and especially me. ✶✶✶✶
I received this book for free in a Goodreads Giveaway and give my opinion without prejudice and voluntarily.
June 10, 2019
Wonderful Story!
This book tells a wonderful story of a young man that grew up in China and faced his trials and tribulations of working hard and coming to terms with himself as a gay male. It gave me a lot of insight of the Chinese government, culture, education, and the way they view homosexuality. Dealing with all this and more this young man was very brave and worked very hard to make all his dreams come true. The characters were very well developed and believable. The storyline was incredible. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to increase their knowledge of what a LGBTQ person goes through to be their true authentic self. If you have a family member or friend dealing with these issues read this book. Or if you just want to read a good old love story read this book. I loved it.
This book tells a wonderful story of a young man that grew up in China and faced his trials and tribulations of working hard and coming to terms with himself as a gay male. It gave me a lot of insight of the Chinese government, culture, education, and the way they view homosexuality. Dealing with all this and more this young man was very brave and worked very hard to make all his dreams come true. The characters were very well developed and believable. The storyline was incredible. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to increase their knowledge of what a LGBTQ person goes through to be their true authentic self. If you have a family member or friend dealing with these issues read this book. Or if you just want to read a good old love story read this book. I loved it.
August 22, 2023
What a journey of self, relocation, culture, and family.
Nik’s story is an absolutely fascinating one from start to finish. I love the way that he’s related a life of growing up in one culture that would not allow him to be who he was, and how he then went around the world on journey to create the life that he always wanted.
Like many LGBTQ people, myself included, we often run from our upbringings to try and find ourselves out there. But the way Nik’s story weaves between periods of his life, the people he’s met, the experiences he finds, and the family he has, and then, through a globetrotting adventure weaves them all together again makes this story so relatable.
This is a book for anyone who has ever wanted to go on a journey to figure out who they are and live a True and Authentic life out loud.
Nik’s story is an absolutely fascinating one from start to finish. I love the way that he’s related a life of growing up in one culture that would not allow him to be who he was, and how he then went around the world on journey to create the life that he always wanted.
Like many LGBTQ people, myself included, we often run from our upbringings to try and find ourselves out there. But the way Nik’s story weaves between periods of his life, the people he’s met, the experiences he finds, and the family he has, and then, through a globetrotting adventure weaves them all together again makes this story so relatable.
This is a book for anyone who has ever wanted to go on a journey to figure out who they are and live a True and Authentic life out loud.
May 30, 2019
Endearingly sweet and filled with beautiful moments!
A brilliant Chinese man shares how his cultural beliefs and devoted mother led him to the top of his collegiate path and eventually helped him to overcome his fears and find the love of his life. Together they negotiate the perils of surrogacy and fatherhood. I enjoyed reading about Chinese culture and the true power of a loving mother. For me; however, the most compelling part of Mr. Yu He’s story is the creation of a beautiful non traditional family living successfully in beautiful Seattle. I hope your story encourages others to live their dreams!
A brilliant Chinese man shares how his cultural beliefs and devoted mother led him to the top of his collegiate path and eventually helped him to overcome his fears and find the love of his life. Together they negotiate the perils of surrogacy and fatherhood. I enjoyed reading about Chinese culture and the true power of a loving mother. For me; however, the most compelling part of Mr. Yu He’s story is the creation of a beautiful non traditional family living successfully in beautiful Seattle. I hope your story encourages others to live their dreams!
February 9, 2020
I loved that this was a local author who talked about places I know! I also appreciated hearing about the challenges that he faced due to his culture and experiences, it was a unique perspective that I hadn't read about yet. That said, what I didn't like about it was that the writing didn't flow. The storyline felt choppy, and not particularly engaging because of it. I wanted more depth to the story as well. From an outside perspective, there was a lot of things the author did or said that I didn't understand or felt confusing. With more context I think this could have been avoided.
June 21, 2019
This is a wonderful memoir of self-discovery and pursuit of living one’s best life. He’s relatable voice draws the reader into his experiences growing up in China, exploring his sexuality, and building the family of his dreams.
He’s journey includes many complex and difficult topics, including sexuality and surrogacy, with care and respect which draw the reader into his reality.
He’s journey includes many complex and difficult topics, including sexuality and surrogacy, with care and respect which draw the reader into his reality.
July 22, 2019
The book was a fast read and encouraged me to keep finding my muse when it comes to writing. Sometimes I get down hearted about writing and this book gave me encouragement. I think from time to time I will go back to it and reread it again just to push myself to keep writing. I found this book enjoyable and would recommend it for writers who want an occasional pick-me-up.
May 28, 2019
"One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." -- Henry Miller. Nick and I met in 2018 at a Best Year Ever Blueprint event. The story is moving and powerful. It sheds light on a new way of seeing. Karen Briscoe, author and podcast host 5 Minute Success
May 29, 2019
Deeply honest account of an eventful life
This is a very engaging read. Hearing Nick's story of moving to the U.S. from China, coming out and then having children told in such a candid way makes for a fantastic book. It's very interesting to see life from Nick's perspective.
This is a very engaging read. Hearing Nick's story of moving to the U.S. from China, coming out and then having children told in such a candid way makes for a fantastic book. It's very interesting to see life from Nick's perspective.
November 4, 2019
Amazing experience from China to US
It's a amazing experience I got it in this book. You can't see clearly the mountain LU because you are inside it. I see the Chinese culture and Chinese student life from a outsider. You can choose who you are even after having many hard things.
It's a amazing experience I got it in this book. You can't see clearly the mountain LU because you are inside it. I see the Chinese culture and Chinese student life from a outsider. You can choose who you are even after having many hard things.
February 2, 2020
Remember you have a piece of the sun in you. Even when it is dark, you can light up yourself and around yourself.
Could have used a closer edit, but this was a really touching telling a gay man's journey to self-acceptance, partnership and fatherhood.
Could have used a closer edit, but this was a really touching telling a gay man's journey to self-acceptance, partnership and fatherhood.
July 8, 2019
Great book, brave story, so proud of you, nick!
Great book, brave story, so proud of you, nick! Wish you and your family the best!!!! Recommend this book to everyone!
Great book, brave story, so proud of you, nick! Wish you and your family the best!!!! Recommend this book to everyone!
did-not-finish
November 11, 2019**won via Goodreads giveaway**
June 22, 2019
Love kids coming out
What a beautiful story. The author started up in one place and ended up in a place very different than he started in. Lovely story about his daughters. And amazing that his parents accepted him the way he is. If you find love, you find everything is a saying I believe in. Glad the author did. In India, where I am, being homosexual is still a crime. And nobody prefer remaining closeted to coming out and facing judgement and hatred.
What a beautiful story. The author started up in one place and ended up in a place very different than he started in. Lovely story about his daughters. And amazing that his parents accepted him the way he is. If you find love, you find everything is a saying I believe in. Glad the author did. In India, where I am, being homosexual is still a crime. And nobody prefer remaining closeted to coming out and facing judgement and hatred.
September 13, 2019
From the first paragraph, this story will draw you in and (if you are like me) leave you feeling emotional. Nick He clearly has a knack for memoir, and his story is an important one that brings visibility to the experience of building a family as a gay man from a conservative background.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews