What do you think?
Rate this book


285 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 10, 2019









Is there any crueler lie we tell kids? Regardless of what happens, of how deep the scars might run, we say they’ll be okay and they believe it. They trust us. But what else are we supposed to say? Hey, kid, childhood is a bitch and she leaves marks?Dr. Heather Cole has a pretty nice life, a thriving practice, offering psychological therapy to kids under 18, a beautiful river-front home, and a studly carpenter of a husband who runs his own business. But one day she receives an envelope with one half of a matched pair of necklaces, the half that had belonged to her friend Becca, her bff back when they were twelve, the bff whose disappearance had never been solved, the bff she had killed. Uh oh.
I may have done a monstrous thing, but I’m not a monster, I’m not. I believed that once. I wish I could believe it now.

…when you recall the event, you aren’t remembering the event itself, only the last recollection. A memory of a memory. And if the mind wants something to be real, it can rearrange facts and circumstances to suit. Sometimes we make up stories to explain things to ourselves; sometimes we do it to hide the truth.This is actually pretty much the case. I have memories of concrete events in my past that I know to be completely false. Makes me wonder if memories have telomeres, like cells do. In cells, every regeneration takes off another telomere, until there are no more, at which point, the cell is no longer able to regenerate itself, definitely not a good thing, buh-bye cell, at least well-functioning cell. It may be that memories have a fixed number of repeats before they degrade, as well. This introduces the question of how truly Heather is recalling her experience as a twelve-year-old. There is also a question raised of how far would you go to hang on to a treasured friendship. These invest the novel with some real-world moral, and scientific concerns. Heather is also confronted with the cost of living a lie, which adds to the real-world perspective.
“The lady. She looks hungry, like maybe she’s not a lady at all but a monster wearing a lady face. That’s how they trick you., monsters. They put normal faces on so you think they’re real, but they’re not. And when you get too close to run away, they show you their real ones,” she says, eyes serious and far too knowing.
