Birdie and Me

by J.M.M. Nuanez

A stunning debut about a girl named Jack and her gender creative little brother, Birdie, searching for the place where they can be their true and best selves.

After their mama dies, Jack and Birdie find themselves without a place to call home. And when Mama's two brothers each try to provide one--first sweet Uncle Carl, then gruff Uncle Patrick--the results are funny, tender, and tragic.

They're also somehow . . . spectacular.

With voices and characters that soar off the page, J. M. M. Nuanez's debut novel depicts an unlikely family caught in a situation none of them would have chosen, and the beautiful ways in which they finally come to understand one another.

Genres: Middle Grade, LGBT, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Mental Health, Family, Contemporary

256 pages, Hardcover

First published February 18, 2020

Reviews

[Alexa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4,5 Sterne für ein wirklich sehr rührendes Kinderbuch. Hoffentlich schreibt die Autorin noch mehr solcher toller Geschichten

[Shaye Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

This tenderhearted story is of Jack and Birdie, two siblings who recently lost their mother. Jack is the mature older sister always seeking to protect her little brother. And this is particularly the case since Birdie tends to be bullied due to his creative, colorful clothing. After their mother dies they are sent to live with their Uncle Carl, who loves them deeply. But one day his ability to properly care for them is questioned and so they're eventually sent to live with their Uncle Patrick. They know practically nothing about Patrick, except how gruff he seems. But sometimes it's important to peel back the emotional "onion layers" and see more than what's visible on the surface. This is a story that addresses a wide variety of family dynamics, including questions about transgender behaviors and feelings. It also addresses bullying, regrets, and mental health. I would anticipate mostly older middle graders or younger mature middle grade readers to appreciate this emotional story, but there's plenty here for the YA crowd to discuss, as well.

For more children's lit, middle grade lit, and YA lit reviews, feel free to visit my personal blog at The Miller Memo!

[Ariel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book.

A story about how girl Jack navigates grief with her gender creative little brother after their mother dies. This book navigates grief and identify by facing the scary parts and embracing moments of joy that connect us. Reading this book is a reminder that person is an island and even if they are they are at least an archipelago.

As a queer person I can be really protective of queer stories especially when not told by a person if the identity the story is about. This story is a cis girls perspective of a gender creative (still figuring it out in a very age accurate way) sibling. I think this book is amazing and honors the identities it represents. I am really excited to hear some gender queer/gender non conforming perspectives on it!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

After their mother dies suddenly, siblings Birdie and Jack must leave home to live with their uncles. When sweet Uncle Carl proves unreliable, gruff Uncle Patrick takes over. A practical stranger, Patrick struggles to understand gender non-conforming Birdie and introspective Jack, and they him. As the whole family copes with loss, Birdie and Jack somehow remember how the ordinary can be extraordinary, how relationships can be lost and found, and how they can each find a place in the world. Delicate moments heavy with meaning are left for the reader to discover, and when they are found, they’ll stay with readers long past the last page.

[Laura Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't remember the last time I loved a debut book this much. Thank you, @jmmnuanez....

Jack and her gender creative little brother Birdie have to move in with their stoic, stern Uncle Patrick, but they'd much rather live with their Uncle Carl. Most of all, they wish they could have their fun Mama back with her Wolf Days and creative games. When Birdie is bullied for his clothing choices, Uncle Patrick forces him to wear "regular" boy clothes so he can just fit in. Janet, a teen wanna-be hairdresser, is Jack's best friend and part of a loose support system Jack and Birdie rely on. Jack feels a bit like an island -- lonely and alone in her personal struggles. But if she finds others who feel similarly, can they rely on each other and not be so alone?... 

Jack's notes from her observation journal, sometimes in free verse, sometimes in lists, are a highlight of this book, a window into Jack's fears, worries, and hopes. With charming characters who jump off the page and a beautiful sibling relationship, this one will definitely be a hit with the right kid. Grades 3 - 7.

[Jenna Hines · Rating 5 out of 5]

Birdie and Jack’s story was incredibly moving. We see them trying to adapt to a new environment, as they navigate a world full of negativity. Jack’s words have a way of encapsulating the reader, and then transporting them to the world of “Nowhere Northern California.”
I truly love the way that the characters are written. It’s amazing how I could find a little bit of myself in each character. Jack is strong-willed and independent. Birdie is light, “sparkly,” and totally heartwarming. These siblings captured my heart.
Anyone that reads this book will come out of the experience with a more open mind, heart and soul. The book accomplishes the feat of appealing to a vast audience to share a very impactful message.

[Shoshana · Rating 5 out of 5]

After their mother dies, Jack and her little brother Birdie are sent to live with their uncles; but Uncle Carl isn't reliable, and Uncle Patrick doesn't like Birdie's purple jacket, skirts, and rainbow leggings. All Jack wants is somewhere they can both live as themselves.

This book doesn't just have heart, it IS heart. I couldn't put it down, needing to see how their story evolved, and watch the complexities of their family unfold, while loving the fierce devotion between brother and sister. Ideal for fans of Lynda Mullaly Hunt, Holly Goldberg Sloan, and "Lily and Dunkin."

[Jan Raspen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, I really, really liked this book! Jack's voice is amazing, and Birdie is just the cutest little kid. I love every character in this book, especially Patrick. I'm giving this book five stars, even though I usually reserve that for books that made me cry. I didn't cry, but I can just tell that I'll be thinking of all of these characters for a long time.

(Oh, and it's a debut author!) I cannot wait to read more.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good! Read this book out loud to my 7 year old who identifies very much with Birdie. So many feelings as we were reading this together. Laughs and tears too for this sweet story about the messiness of being human.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended by my boss at Sundance Books & Music and it didn't disappoint.

[Claudia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wenn ich könnte, würde ich dem Buch noch mehr Sterne geben!

[Ginny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Birdie and Jack are siblings who have to move in with their uncle after their mother's sudden death. The new scenery and people in their life throw them through a loop, but also pulls them out of their comfort zones. But when Birdie is bullied for being gender fluid and their uncle doesn't stand up for them, it's the last straw.

This was SUCH a good book! The overarching themes of discovering yourself and your place in the world as well as family and support aren't exactly new, but Nuanez handles them with a gentle and empathetic hand, making Jack and Birdie come to life. Fans of Kate Dicamillo, Ann M. Martin and Dan Gemeinhart will find something of great value in this novel.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written book for middle/high school age, Birdie and Me follows Jack and her gender creative younger brother, Birdie. Both siblings have been through so much: the death of their mother, a move to their Uncle Carl who hasn't been taking good care of them, a move to their Uncle Patrick's--someone they barely know and doesn't communicate well with them, and the difficulty of a new town and bullying of Birdie by kids and adults who don't understand him. There were many obstacles that these kids faced, but their support of each other and love was tenderly conveyed by the author. As in real life, they meet some people who reach out with support and some who try to make them conform or just judge them. I was disappointed that the two depictions of teachers were negative. At least the librarian was a friend and supporter of the kids who are struggling to find a community. Thanks to Kathy Dawson Books/Penguin Young Readers Group for an ARC of this book won through a Goodreads giveaway.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t read a lot of Middle Grade fiction, but I was really excited when I discovered this ARC. I was intrigued with the premise of the novel, and having trans members of my family, endeared by the premise of a child experimenting with gender.

And Birdie was such a treat. He’s definitely whimsical and endearing. He was my favorite character for sure. I love this novel as a way of modeling to young readers how gender is a spectrum, combating toxic masculinity, and presenting a very real message to readers “it’s okay to not know how you identify.” Having books like this available to young readers will be simply transformative in kids’ lives and I’m really excited about this novel for that reason.

I also think that the book is really, really heartbreaking. Birdie experiences a lot cruelty from other people in the small community that they live in. There is a lot of poverty and hopelessness in the small town as well. Birdie and Jack are continually failed by the adults in their life who should be caring for them. I think the most devastating thing to realize was that Birdie and Jack’s mom was mentally ill (likely bipolar) and because of that and the fact that they had little support system growing up, they were not cared for as they should have been. I’m glad that authors write about these hard issues because there are definitely kids out there with these situations and I hope this book can be a beacon for them. However, I found that this made the novel feel bleak and depressing for the most part. I think that made my heart break more because I know that there are students who deal with that level of depression and bleakness everyday.

This novel is lyrically written and the plot flows so nicely, mingling the story with poignant flashbacks and observations that Jack writes in her notebook. I like this book and I’m so glad that it was written, but go into knowing that it is an emotionally hard book to read.

[Cindy Mitchell *Kiss the Book* · Rating 3 out of 5]

Birdie and Me by J. M. M. Nuanez, 249 pages. Kathy Dawson Books (Penguin Random House), 2020. $17.

Language: PG (2 swears 0 'f'); Mature Content: G; Violence: G.

BUYING ADVISORY: MS - ADVISABLE

AUDIENCE APPEAL: AVERAGE

12yo Jack and her little brother Birdie are moving in with their Uncle Patrick. They are unhappy about it because they were living with Uncle Carl and he liked them. But Uncle Carl is not very responsible, and after missing too many "meetings with the teacher" about Birdie's many absences, and his gender non-conforming clothes, Uncle Patrick takes them instead. He is strict, makes them eat healthy foods, and needs Birdie to dress in ordinary "boy" clothes - which he hates. Everything seems so complicated without Mama.

Nuanez's debut novel is a tender read. I loved sweet Birdie - sad that none of the adults in his life were equipped to help him navigate his feelings. Delightful characters - Rosie and Janet - the voices of reason - and humor as well. The relationship between the siblings was great (both sets! - the uncles have some stuff going on , too). A heartfelt story about figuring out where you belong.

Lisa Librarian
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2020...

[Tlwinky · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were SO MANY things happening in this story. Almost too many. Birdie and Jack were a very strong central story and their relationships with their uncles after their mother dies is a very good story line. A whole lot transpired and developed between them all and it would have been a complete story with just those characters, but then there was Janet and her whole story line, which I found totally useless to the rest of the story. Why add them? If you took out all the parts of the story that had Janet, her mother, or her mother's boyfriend it really doesn't change the story all that much. I almost think the author felt the same way because she seemed to have characters leaving town to go stay with family out of state (out of the story) often. I just found it a bit odd. It detracted from the story just a bit. But, otherwise, it was a very sweet story.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goodness I loved these characters. all of them - the kids, the adults, all of them! The story has slow reveals, as we learn about the adults, what's really happening to Birdie at school, what happened to Mama. It packs and emotional wallop without being manipulative.

Quibble : Carl was in Vietnam? So, at the youngest, he'd have been born in, let's say 1952 which would make him 68 years old. So, their Mom, at 15 years younger would be 53.

This happens a lot in kids books. Vietnam vets are more likely to be grandfathers at the least than uncles. It's not BEYOND the realm of possibility, but they could have been Iraq war vets (born in lets say, 1970, which would make their Mom born in 1985 which makes so much more sense.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

i enjoyed this debut novel by Nuanez. Jack and Birdie lost their mother in a car accident and have come to live with their Uncle Carl. Not the healthiest placement and they have to shift to their Uncle Patrick's home in the same town. By the end, all family members are working at better communication and caring skills - and they need them.
Jack carries the weight for each of the relationships along with those of friends. She does her best to protect Birdie and allow him to be who he is. Finally, the adults begin acting like it and wrap her in love and acceptance as well.
The story moved slowly and transitions were difficult in some places but middle grade readers will appreciate this story and may find themselves represented here.

[Beruthiel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book with fascinating characters, I would recommend to everybody.
Jack has a particular knack to see and observe the world around her and lets us participate in her world view.
One of many aspects I particularly like is that she often is unable to vocalize her thoughts, but meets people who are able to unlock this blockade just by being who they are.
Later we see the same blockade with her uncle Patrick. This is not pointed out as such, but you can read it between the lines and it helps to understand, why he is just not able to say certain things or explain his acts - like why he rescued the things of Jack's mum and hid them in his shed, without saying a word about it..
Read it!

[Deike B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was für eine wunderbare Geschichte über das nicht ganz einfache Leben der Geschwister Jack und Birdie! Man leidet, trauert und lacht mit ihnen-erfährt auf eine toll erzählte Weise dass das Leben, auch wenn es nicht nach den eigenen Vorstellungen verläuft, durchaus spannend, lebenswert und toll sein kann. Nicht immer einfach, aber gut! Und das wird es am Ende… wenn auch nicht in „rosa Wolke“ , aber so gut es eben gut sein kann.

[Allie Bayer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a super cute middle grade! I couldn’t *not* think about how it was literally just a middle grade version of “The Guncle” (but with a few slight characterization role swaps!) the entire time I was reading. That novel was pretty delightful though, and this was too. Birdie was a precious little character and I enjoyed he and Jack’s relationship. Nothing profound for me, nothing that I’ll have lasting memories of…but delightful.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!

Such a sweet story and you will not regret spending time with these characters. It’s one of those books where you miss the characters when you are done!

[Colleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I thought this book was okay. It was not one of my favorite books that I read this year, but I think it was a solid read. There are some things I want to address specifically.

Presentation
I felt there was no clear-cut direction on where this book was going. It felt like it was told in a stream of conscious style, like how real-life happens. You just go about your life where you discover life lessons and morals as you go, but it is not like your life has a summary that goes "Watch the character journey through their life in hopes of reaching Heaven." You have no idea what your life's main point is until you get there. For me, books are usually read for entertainment, escape, or I thought the book look good/sounded interesting. Realistic fiction/historical fiction books like this are not usually my cup of tea, because I want a goal that the book reaches at the end for life is not like that. I will admit though that this book did have gems in terms of lessons that Jack learned, but the presentation was not my thing.

"Showing not telling"
The above quote from Dragons Race to the Edge said by Tuffnut is what comes to mind with this book. I felt the characters did not often explain why they did something, instead it was shown. While I was not a fan of this, it did make sense for our main character/narrator Jack is more of an observer. Unless the character she is observing says it themselves without much prompting from Jack, we do not fully understand the characters. For example, I felt I truly never understood the adults, which is somewhat sad for they form a good portion of this book.

Genre
Speaking of realistic fiction and historical fiction, was this historical fiction or was this realistic fiction? I was a little confuse on what the time period was. For most readers, this may not matter, but I was trying to figure the ages of everybody and it did not seemed to make sense. Uncle Carter sounded young, but he mentioned he fought in Vietnam. That should put him in his 60s/70s at least. Unless this is an incredibly small town, you would think if this was the modern era (2019/2020) then the towns people would be more accepting of Birdie even if they do not understand Birdie's choices.

Verdict: I thought this was a solid read for people who struggle with grief or do not know who they are.

[Shelley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kellogg's and Penguin Random House has been doing a Feeding Reading program the last four years. This year I participated. All you had to do is purchase specially marked Kellogg's products and send in the receipt. You could get up to 10 free books for each of the 10 Kellogg's products receipts you sent in. I missed the 10th one by a day. They have a list of books to choose from. This was one of them. I chose novels that had high ratings on goodreads. This is my 6th book of the 9 I've read so far.

I wanted to like this story so much more. I wanted the story to be so much more, but I felt disappointed. Maybe because the previous book I read was 5 star and brilliant?! So maybe any book I would had read wouldn't had been able to live up to the same standards reading back to back.?

Birdie and Me is geared for ages 10+. I'm sure it's banned in many states too since it deals with a gender non conforming person who happens to be Birdie and 9. He was adorable and my favourite character in the story. His older sister, Jack is 12 and wants to save everyone. Their mama dies before the story begins and they are living with their Uncle Carl, who is sweet and gives them lots of freedoms like allowing Birdie to dress in whatever he wants to dress in like purple jackets, sparkly clothes and lip gloss. (I happen not to have a problem with someone who doesn't want to conform to what social dictates and do their own thing because it feels right to Them!) But (Uncle Carl) messes up and the kids are removed from his home and they are sent off to live with Uncle Patrick, who is nothing like his brother; he's gruff and feels everyone needs to blend in.

This story takes on lots of issues, GNC (gender non conforming), bullying (it doesn't fall far from the tree), lost of parent(s), broken relationships, mending relationships...and there might be a few more I've missed.

There's a hot air balloon ride in the story and 28 years ago I flew up in one with my mum for a mother/daughter adventure.

I really like the jacket cover. It's pretty and colourful. Wink wink.

[Karen Gedeon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Birdie and Me Written by J. M. M. Nuanez read by Jorjeana Marie Touted as an LGBTQ book, but more of a book on grief, Birdie and Me will touch the readers heart through Jack’s personal narration. Jack and Birdie (both named after their mother’s favorite First Ladies), must move in with their Uncle Carl when their mother dies in a car accident. However, Uncle Carl’s unreliable nature soon comes to light and only a few months later they find themselves moving in with their Uncle Patrick, another uncle whom they know very little about. Uncle Patrick speaks very little, but provides a stable home for the siblings. Jack and Birdie navigate their new town, friends and feelings about their uncles all while wanting to go home to where their mama’s things are searching for comfort and a place they belong. The new family experiences growing pains as they learn more about each other and the reader soon realizes mental illness may run in the family. Birdie’s sexuality is never fully defined although it is shown in his choice of clothing and actions coming to fruition in a conversation with Jack and her friend Janet where he is told whatever he decides to be is perfectly fine. Jorjeana Marie provides an excellent narration by differentiating voices and emotion making the audio version a satisfying experience. Middle school students looking for an emotional ride will enjoy this story as they relate to some of the things Birdie and Jack experience. Themes include being one’s self, family, friendship, trust, and acceptance.

[Abby Johnson]

This heartfelt story focuses on the strong sibling bond between Jack and her little brother Birdie who is gender nonconforming. Birdie was allowed to be who he was when Mama was alive, but now that Mama's gone and they've been put into Uncle Jack's custody, all bets are off. This is a story of a sister and brother who are fiercely protective of each other and clinging to each other in a turbulent sea.

I loved the characterization, Birdie's for sure and the representation of a gender nonconforming kid without tons of labels - Birdie's not sure if he's gay, he's not sure if he's transgender. He just wants to be who he is and wear what he likes to wear. But I also really loved Jack's characterization, particularly how like her Uncle Patrick she is even though absolutely neither of them realize it. Jack tends to keep things close to the vest, having big thoughts but somehow unable to make the words come out of her mouth. She's an observer and a writer more than a talker and that sometimes makes it hard for her to make friends or express how she's feeling. Uncle Patrick's the same way, strong and silent but holding a world of emotions within his stoic demeanor that isn't revealed until close to the end of the book.

I'd hand this one to readers of See You at Harry's.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Siblings, Jack and Birdie, have a void in their life that no amount of Honey Bunny Buns can fill. It’s been a year since their mother unexpectedly passed and they began living with uncle Carl who loves them dearly, but does not provide much structure or routine. BIRDIE AND ME follows strong-willed protector, Jack, and her darling gender creative little brother, Birdie, as they deal with their grief, small-mindedness of some townsfolk, and a move to their unfamiliar uncle Patrick’s house. The bond between the siblings is so warm and you are hopeful that they can adapt to all of the changes in their young lives and be wholly supported and loved unconditionally. Jack is thoughtful and reflects through observations that provide an in-depth look at her state of mind as she copes with loss and unsettled feelings. Birdie loves fashion (rocking leggings and a killer purple jacket) and is coming into his own, wanting to be accepted, but is bullied and targeted in school—something that uncle Patrick is unsure quite how to handle. Their journey is heartbreaking, courageous, and complex. BIRDIE AND ME is a heartfelt story about family and identity told with sensitivity, love, and light which will surely provide both windows and mirrors to readers.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a poignant and well-written book about children who learn to find family and support in difficult circumstances.

The story centers on a young teen girl named Jack and her brother, Birdy, who is drawn to sparkly clothes and pink and purple. He is not sure if he is gay or if he is transgender, and the book makes clear that it's okay for him not to have a set definition of himself.

The siblings lived with their mother, a woman of verve and energy, but also with periods of sadness as withdrawal. She has died before the story begins, and the children, who had been living with their accepting but somewhat irresponsible Uncle Carl now have to live with their taciturn Uncle Patrick. This book is the story of making new connections in a community and of healing family wounds.

Things are not tied up neatly with a ribbon, but as in life, the characters grow into more understanding and acceptance.

For children in challenging circumstances, this is a book to let them know they are not alone. For children with comfortable lives, it will help them understand the kinds of grief and change that other children are dealing with.

I received a review copy of this book through NetGalley.

[Laurie]

Jack, a young teen who watches but doesn't talk much, and her younger brother Birdie have moved from Oregon to Northern California to live with their Uncle Carl after their mother unexpectedly dies. But when loving but irresponsible Carl fails to keep the children in school, they must move in with their other uncle Patrick. Birdie--who even at the young age of 8 knows about fashion and style and loves to wear glittery eye shadow, sequined skirts and leggings--struggles with a bully at school, a gender-normative school, and his uncle who just doesn't want any problems. Jack just wants to go back to Oregon. Gradually, she makes connections: an older teen who lives across the street, the local librarian, the woman who owns the taco truck, a girl at school she gets paired with for a poetry project. She also begins to understand that her mother also had serious mental issues that kept them isolated in a difficult and sometimes dangerous world. Her uncles have their own issues they are struggling with, and it all comes to a head when the taco truck burns up in an accidental fire started by Uncle Carl. A sweet story, with engaging, believable characters, that brings up many of the difficult issues young people must navigate as they begin to make their way in the world.

[Jenny Ashby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jack and Birdie have had a hard year. Since their mother's death they have been living with their Uncle Carl but he has been too irresponsible about taking care of them so they are off to live with stern Uncle Patrick instead. I like Jack and Birdie but Nuanez takes too long getting around to Patrick's heart of gold and reconciling the wildly different brothers. In particular, it's hard to like Patrick as he shows not a lick of support for gender nonconforming Birdie, making him wear clothes to fit in. I was sure that his motivation for this was to help Birdie avoid pain (although that's still not a great reason for him to force this issue) but he gave no indication of that. Nor did he do much to stand up for Birdie at the mall. By the end of the book it is clear that Patrick is struggling with his own grief and issues but we are not shown that until the end. Aside from this flaw with Patrick's depiction, I liked all the other characters each of whom brought a little depth and wackiness to the story. I'll have to look up Nuanez but the array of characters felt like a southern novel filled with some colorful people.