An unsatisfying conclusion to a terrible series.
At one point there was a debate between whether Stunich would release Bornstead U, a crossover between Adamson Academy and Burberry Prep, before this book was released. Apparently, she decided to finish this series first, which makes sense, considering it would contain spoilers for Adamson Academy.
This series could never be considered amazing, but there was a definite decline in quality as it continued, which I think directly reflects the author’s investment in the series. After deciding on the crossover, the only thing standing in her way was completing The Forever Crew.
Beyond the rush job, there was a lot wrong with this book.
❌ Stunich has an unfortunate habit of making one of her underage male heroes a smoker in every book. You know, for the aesthetic.
❌ The copious descriptions of scent. At 8% in, Church’s lilac and rosemary scent had already been referred to three times, as though we didn’t hear enough about it in the first two books.
❌ The ridiculous caricatures that were the adults in this novel, from her cartoonish father to the FBI agent librarian.
❌ Charlotte’s torturous inner dialogue. Some examples: “A little flower of gladness opens up inside me.” “Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, I get to do it with Ranger Woodruff.” “My heart gallops like a herd of wild horses, manes billowing in the wind, whinnying softly…Ew. What?” Honestly, the quotes speak for themselves.
❌ The mystery. It was so boring, every time the book focused on it I found myself mentally drifting off. The characters had the most half-assed attempt at sleuthing I’ve ever seen. They just stumble on every clue with no plan and rely on the goodwill of others when it comes to revealing information. And one of the stupidest parts of the book was the way the bodies were staged when Charlotte stumbled upon them, then quickly and mysteriously hidden when it comes time for anyone else to find them. What was the purpose? Why go through all that trouble for nothing?
Plus, there were long sections that wouldn’t include any aspect of the mystery at all. At one point, one of the characters says “Why do you think the killers leave us alone for such a long period of time?” Which is stupid, because obviously they leave them alone for so long so that we can read subpar sex scenes.
❌ How meta this book was. There were multiple mentions of bully romances, the anime this book was based off of, reverse harems, and Charlotte referring to her life as a book or referencing how much the author of her book hates her. Plus, Charlotte’s travels reflect those of Stunich herself. First the trip to Disneyland, then London. At the end there’s a mention of traveling to Paris soon, and I can’t help but wonder if that is Stunich’s next vacation.
❌ There is never any consensus on Charlotte’s pronouns. Even when Charlotte and her dad are alone together, he stumbles over calling her “son” and using male pronouns. What’s the point when you’re alone? You both obviously know that she’s a female. And the guys’ weird fascination with her fake penis continues in this book for no discernable reason.
❌ The treatment of female characters in this novel. There isn’t a single female character that isn’t villainized in this novel. Monica, Charlotte’s “friend,” is constantly maligned, and the other two female characters that actually get names, Selena and Aster, are immediately belittled for their appearances and hated on. Which is later justified because didn’t you know, they’re part of the cult that’s killing people. What makes it even more appalling are the random speeches scattered throughout the book about feminism. The book pays lip service to the idea without ever actually embracing the concept.
❌ This book is bad, and it doesn’t even have the decency to be bad without ripping off Ouran High School Host Club and Stunich’s other bully series, Burberry Prep. The last half of the book is literally a replica of the face-off between Marnye and the infinity club students, but now it’s Charlotte versus Aster, Selena, and Mark. Before they ever have proof that Aster and Selena are anything other than new students, the heroes have already started to bully them. As soon as they arrive on campus, two of the guys reveal that they’ve already stuffed the girls’ lockers with condoms. Sound familiar?
❌ Charlotte is just…a terrible person. She gets sadistically glad whenever someone is getting beat up or one of the heroes says something rude or dismissive about other women. She constantly internally tears into other people but preaches acceptance and kindness, and she has irrational flashes of jealousy that results in her being petty about the females, but never the heroes.
❌ This book takes the weirdest stance on bullying. At one point, Charlotte talks about how she “faced” her problems instead of “tattling” to the headmaster about being bullied, which is the worst kind of bullshit.
❌ The sex scenes in this book are 100% not sexy. Primarily due to Charlotte’s inane inner monologue, but also because the guys have the worst dirty talk ever. At one point Spencer says “I want to do it without a condom so bad right now,” which..isn’t a super common female fantasy. And for some awful reason, after every sex scene Stunich mentions that the guys tie off the condom, and at one point Ranger puts the tied-off condom in his pocket, even though he’s in a room with trash cans. Why?!? One of the draws for smut is that it allows you to indulge in fantasy, without any of the real-world consequences. Like the fact that sex is messy and there’s some clean up involved after. Really, there didn’t need to be added word count after each sex scene to tell the reader how the condom was going to be disposed of.
❌ The way that sex, sexuality, and intimacy are referenced in this book are just…weird and immature. Charlotte has a bizarre glee over anything potentially sexual. All she thinks about is sex, yet she is somehow completely incapable of understanding when it’s about to happen, even when someone literally hands her a condom. The book juxtaposes her strong opinions on sex with her juvenile inability to even think the words “hand job.” There was an actual scene in this book where Charlotte calls fooling around “hand stuff” and laments her embarrassment thinking about it before launching into an internal monologue about sexuality to lecture the reader.
❌ Charlotte likes to disparage wealth but can’t let go of the fantasy of all of the comforts it provides. She criticizes it in the same breath that she fetishizes it.
❌ Much like this review, this book was all over the place. Its biggest problem was that it was the worst form of wish fulfillment that I’ve ever read. It was the culmination of every type of high school fantasy trope, and it read like a self-insert fanfiction. It’s a lot of work to fit that many fantasies into one novel, which probably explains the haphazard plot.
If you’ve gotten this far you already know that I don’t recommend this book.