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Fem
Peter Martin is living two lives inside one body.
Although he is openly gay, a lifetime of taunting from his family and community for being “too feminine” has still left him clad in false armor, portraying a character that is entirely fake, but keeps him safe from ridicule all the same. Stand tall, speak deeply, keep a strong handshake, never draw attention, never be “too gay.” But deep in his wildest dreams, Peter is a fabulous, flamboyant diva – he is just terrified of what it would mean for his life if he ever let his true rainbow colors shine through.
Until he meets Andre Munoz.
Andre is a traditionally masculine gay man who happens to love men like Peter, and who treasures Peter for everything he ever hated and concealed about himself. Andre is also into the “lace lifestyle,” a mysterious underground world of men who reject society’s rules and engage in sex while wearing gender-bending looks involving lingerie, fishnets, heels, and more. Peter is instantly hooked – on Andre, and on the lingerie.
Peter and Andre soon fall electrically in love, and their increasingly mind-blowing – and boundary-pushing – sex sessions come with an unexpected side effect. For the first time, Peter is embracing, exploring, and even accepting his own femininity. Glowing with all this newfound confidence, Peter soon gets a wild idea: after years of being half-alive, why not finally unleash his truest self and launch the side career of his dreams as a drag queen?
But Peter’s family is still his family, and his town is still his town. Will Andre prove to be his ultimate savior, or the catalyst of the biggest mistake of his life?
Seth King’s Fem is a love story about how in the end, the love that rules all is the love you must find for the man in the mirror – even if that man happens to be wearing sequins.
“Fem shook my world. Beautifully, breathtakingly good.” – author Angelique Jurd
“I read this book in twelve hours and still can’t stop thinking about it, over a week later. Brilliant and gorgeous.” – Kell’s Bookmark Clique
“One of those books that changes you and stays with you.” – Robert Sandlin
“The best gay love story I have ever read.” – K. Ellis
“More than just a love story…everyone should read this book.” – Quendolyn Barlow
Although he is openly gay, a lifetime of taunting from his family and community for being “too feminine” has still left him clad in false armor, portraying a character that is entirely fake, but keeps him safe from ridicule all the same. Stand tall, speak deeply, keep a strong handshake, never draw attention, never be “too gay.” But deep in his wildest dreams, Peter is a fabulous, flamboyant diva – he is just terrified of what it would mean for his life if he ever let his true rainbow colors shine through.
Until he meets Andre Munoz.
Andre is a traditionally masculine gay man who happens to love men like Peter, and who treasures Peter for everything he ever hated and concealed about himself. Andre is also into the “lace lifestyle,” a mysterious underground world of men who reject society’s rules and engage in sex while wearing gender-bending looks involving lingerie, fishnets, heels, and more. Peter is instantly hooked – on Andre, and on the lingerie.
Peter and Andre soon fall electrically in love, and their increasingly mind-blowing – and boundary-pushing – sex sessions come with an unexpected side effect. For the first time, Peter is embracing, exploring, and even accepting his own femininity. Glowing with all this newfound confidence, Peter soon gets a wild idea: after years of being half-alive, why not finally unleash his truest self and launch the side career of his dreams as a drag queen?
But Peter’s family is still his family, and his town is still his town. Will Andre prove to be his ultimate savior, or the catalyst of the biggest mistake of his life?
Seth King’s Fem is a love story about how in the end, the love that rules all is the love you must find for the man in the mirror – even if that man happens to be wearing sequins.
“Fem shook my world. Beautifully, breathtakingly good.” – author Angelique Jurd
“I read this book in twelve hours and still can’t stop thinking about it, over a week later. Brilliant and gorgeous.” – Kell’s Bookmark Clique
“One of those books that changes you and stays with you.” – Robert Sandlin
“The best gay love story I have ever read.” – K. Ellis
“More than just a love story…everyone should read this book.” – Quendolyn Barlow
409 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 30, 2019
83 people are currently reading
203 people want to read
About the author
Seth King
53 books1,870 followersSeth King is a twenty-eight-year-old American author.
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June 17, 2019
Many wonderful and quotable insights. Seth King has a way to wow me with his bravery of writing such personal stories, such as this one. The romance is in focus in the beginning of this book, and then takes a back seat as the identity discovery journey takes the centre stage. Love the cover too!
June 23, 2019
Gosh, what a heartfelt story this was.
Peter is a guy who bumped his head so often, he thinks he’ll never find someone who fits. He himself is feminine and his experience with the guys he met is negative! They can’t appreciate him as he is. When life rejects you from the beginning it takes a hell of courage to climb up.
‘Sometimes I feel like I am half alive–I am not dying, but I am not exactly living, either’
And now he’s done and wants to quit and delete all dating apps on his phone. Until... his eyes fall on an unknown app, where men are specific about their preferences, he can’t believe his eyes, it’s just what he is looking for! Then he meets Andre Ocasio Munoz! I instantly fell in love!
He brings light, love, humor, sexiness and... lace!!
Love isn’t easy when you are imprinted by the bad attitudes of others. I wanted to encourage Peter to speak up. Come on...!
Love isn’t easy when you are dismissed by the roots of life from the first moment.
“If God wanted me to be straight, he wouldn’t have put a G-spot in my ass, you know?”
Isn’t that true!!
There is a lot of reflection and they made so much sense. All the trauma from his youth, it restraint him to be who he really is. And that was just devastating! The struggle and insecurity were heartbreaking at times.
Watching the process of healing and redeeming was uplifting
A more than captivating read. Not a superficial story, it had many layers.
Wonderful sparkling friends were a great addition and they gave some counterbalance to the heavier parts.
Besides Peter I want to highlight the personalities of Andre, Pixie, and Mommy, I bow to them.
The story is written in a personal way. I wanted to talk back, to encourage, cheer and comfort. All the feelings were honestly described, with humor, anger, sarcasm, insecurities, hurt and a lot of love.
Like I said: a heartfelt story!
Kindly received an ARC
Peter is a guy who bumped his head so often, he thinks he’ll never find someone who fits. He himself is feminine and his experience with the guys he met is negative! They can’t appreciate him as he is. When life rejects you from the beginning it takes a hell of courage to climb up.
‘Sometimes I feel like I am half alive–I am not dying, but I am not exactly living, either’
And now he’s done and wants to quit and delete all dating apps on his phone. Until... his eyes fall on an unknown app, where men are specific about their preferences, he can’t believe his eyes, it’s just what he is looking for! Then he meets Andre Ocasio Munoz! I instantly fell in love!
He brings light, love, humor, sexiness and... lace!!
Love isn’t easy when you are imprinted by the bad attitudes of others. I wanted to encourage Peter to speak up. Come on...!
Love isn’t easy when you are dismissed by the roots of life from the first moment.
“If God wanted me to be straight, he wouldn’t have put a G-spot in my ass, you know?”
Isn’t that true!!
There is a lot of reflection and they made so much sense. All the trauma from his youth, it restraint him to be who he really is. And that was just devastating! The struggle and insecurity were heartbreaking at times.
Watching the process of healing and redeeming was uplifting
A more than captivating read. Not a superficial story, it had many layers.
Wonderful sparkling friends were a great addition and they gave some counterbalance to the heavier parts.
Besides Peter I want to highlight the personalities of Andre, Pixie, and Mommy, I bow to them.
The story is written in a personal way. I wanted to talk back, to encourage, cheer and comfort. All the feelings were honestly described, with humor, anger, sarcasm, insecurities, hurt and a lot of love.
Like I said: a heartfelt story!
Kindly received an ARC
June 23, 2019
I have no words to describe this book. I don't think I will ever have the wherewithal to accurately describe just how charming, moving and profound this book is.
June 8, 2019
Courage
This book gave me the courage to make big changes to my life.
This is a must read for anyone struggling with making emotional decisions. And it give hope to people who have mental illness in their family. This book made me laugh and cry.
This book gave me the courage to make big changes to my life.
This is a must read for anyone struggling with making emotional decisions. And it give hope to people who have mental illness in their family. This book made me laugh and cry.
June 1, 2019
Fem is one book in a long line of books written by Seth King that left me speechless.
Fem is the story of Peter and his fight to find himself. It’s about discrimination within the LGBTQ community, it’s a story about learning to love yourself for who you are and not who you think you need to be. It’s a book I needed to read without knowing it.
What I love best about Seth King books is that there’s always a thread in them that I can follow and connect to and live through. I couldn’t do that with this book because I know I will never feel what Peter felt. And coming to the realization that this is a real thing people go through, it hurt. I wasn’t able to empathize, but by the end of the book, I could sympathize. I could understand the need for acceptance and just wanting to be love. I might not be able to connect to him like I usually do, but I felt a kinship with him in that we both just wanted to be loved.
There’s a love story in this book. One I was wary about because Andre seemed just too perfect at times. I was scared it would end horribly (this is a Seth King book after all), but I was glad that Peter had Andre. What they explored together was more than just lace and dressing the way you want to. But they explored what it meant to be loved for being yourself, no matter who that is.
This book is powerful and I had more than one “wow” moment as I realized that this is real life and it’s hard to read about. But it also hardens my resolve into getting more involved. Getting more people to read this, getting more people to realize how hard life can be for some because of the limited views society has on what a person should be.
I felt like I did while I was reading Straight. I felt myself being opened up to a whole new world and it was both beautiful and heartbreaking. Beautiful because I saw more than I ever thought possible. I saw all the good there was. But I also saw what the damage was. For guys like Peter life is so very cruel and it broke me.
The journey Peter takes is not an easy one and I cried for him. I cried for him because we get to see, not only how society treats him, but how he treats himself. While I couldn’t connect with everything Peter went through, I did feel when he saw a therapist and God, I cried like a baby. Because that was just everything. Everything with his mother was killer, but also perfect because getting the how and the why like that made his evolution that much more powerful.
Peter broke my heart and Pixie put it back together again. Seeing Peter learn and grow and become the person he always was inside was beautiful. It was moving. It was breathtaking, it was what I spent the entire book waiting for.
Seth King is writing books that we need. He’s writing books that speak out, books that matter.
Fem is the story of Peter and his fight to find himself. It’s about discrimination within the LGBTQ community, it’s a story about learning to love yourself for who you are and not who you think you need to be. It’s a book I needed to read without knowing it.
What I love best about Seth King books is that there’s always a thread in them that I can follow and connect to and live through. I couldn’t do that with this book because I know I will never feel what Peter felt. And coming to the realization that this is a real thing people go through, it hurt. I wasn’t able to empathize, but by the end of the book, I could sympathize. I could understand the need for acceptance and just wanting to be love. I might not be able to connect to him like I usually do, but I felt a kinship with him in that we both just wanted to be loved.
There’s a love story in this book. One I was wary about because Andre seemed just too perfect at times. I was scared it would end horribly (this is a Seth King book after all), but I was glad that Peter had Andre. What they explored together was more than just lace and dressing the way you want to. But they explored what it meant to be loved for being yourself, no matter who that is.
This book is powerful and I had more than one “wow” moment as I realized that this is real life and it’s hard to read about. But it also hardens my resolve into getting more involved. Getting more people to read this, getting more people to realize how hard life can be for some because of the limited views society has on what a person should be.
I felt like I did while I was reading Straight. I felt myself being opened up to a whole new world and it was both beautiful and heartbreaking. Beautiful because I saw more than I ever thought possible. I saw all the good there was. But I also saw what the damage was. For guys like Peter life is so very cruel and it broke me.
The journey Peter takes is not an easy one and I cried for him. I cried for him because we get to see, not only how society treats him, but how he treats himself. While I couldn’t connect with everything Peter went through, I did feel when he saw a therapist and God, I cried like a baby. Because that was just everything. Everything with his mother was killer, but also perfect because getting the how and the why like that made his evolution that much more powerful.
Peter broke my heart and Pixie put it back together again. Seeing Peter learn and grow and become the person he always was inside was beautiful. It was moving. It was breathtaking, it was what I spent the entire book waiting for.
Seth King is writing books that we need. He’s writing books that speak out, books that matter.
June 2, 2019
Gritty, raw and full of truth.
This book is a must read for everyone within the LGBTQ+ community. It is raw, powerful and written from a place that all of us will recognize. This masterpiece should be required reading for all.
This book is a must read for everyone within the LGBTQ+ community. It is raw, powerful and written from a place that all of us will recognize. This masterpiece should be required reading for all.
June 8, 2019
Oh MY GOD!
There is so much to love about this story and this story is so necessary!!!
The society we live in places so much importance on appearance and strength. For so long, and even sometimes still, there’s this fear of being different or anything that is different. STOP THAT!!!! Different is beautiful and that’s all that matters! We are all human, we are all beautiful creatures that are full of feelings and just wanting to be accepted for who we are and Peter’s story is the story that the world needs.
Seth King wrote this beautiful book and gave us a peak inside a world he knows all too well where that patriarchal norm of men should be manly even if you’re a gay man is very strong. That really has nothing to do with anything, all it’s propagating the idea that anything too feminine is weak. It’s 2019 and despite all the advancements, the world still falls on old stereotypes where anything feminine is not enough, not strong, not wanted... Not important. This story shows that we are all human regardless for where we fall on the gender or sexuality scales and we all should be allowed to live without fear or persecution based on how we dress, how we look and who we love.
And it’s not just a love story, I mean there is a love story between two fabulous men and lots of steamy moments that’s a given but... This is a different kind of love story, and that part of the story is the most important. It’s a the story of how Peter came to love and accept his whole self, his whole truth. That was the most beautiful and most powerful portion of this story.
Grab this one and fall in love with the beautiful world around us and then do what Peter asks. Reach out, help others, and see past the diseases and differences to the people who are underneath that. Read this book and be better humans - we’re all in this together!
There is so much to love about this story and this story is so necessary!!!
The society we live in places so much importance on appearance and strength. For so long, and even sometimes still, there’s this fear of being different or anything that is different. STOP THAT!!!! Different is beautiful and that’s all that matters! We are all human, we are all beautiful creatures that are full of feelings and just wanting to be accepted for who we are and Peter’s story is the story that the world needs.
Seth King wrote this beautiful book and gave us a peak inside a world he knows all too well where that patriarchal norm of men should be manly even if you’re a gay man is very strong. That really has nothing to do with anything, all it’s propagating the idea that anything too feminine is weak. It’s 2019 and despite all the advancements, the world still falls on old stereotypes where anything feminine is not enough, not strong, not wanted... Not important. This story shows that we are all human regardless for where we fall on the gender or sexuality scales and we all should be allowed to live without fear or persecution based on how we dress, how we look and who we love.
And it’s not just a love story, I mean there is a love story between two fabulous men and lots of steamy moments that’s a given but... This is a different kind of love story, and that part of the story is the most important. It’s a the story of how Peter came to love and accept his whole self, his whole truth. That was the most beautiful and most powerful portion of this story.
Grab this one and fall in love with the beautiful world around us and then do what Peter asks. Reach out, help others, and see past the diseases and differences to the people who are underneath that. Read this book and be better humans - we’re all in this together!
June 15, 2019
Coming “Out”, Then Coming Out, Again!
Wow! A dash of romance, a pinch of editorial and a bit of family drama combined to make the writer Peter the Bountiful and waiter Andre the “Large” story. This is a bit of an unusual story. It starts out as a romance but it evolves into a journey of self-exploration, of identity in the gay community. It feels like an insider guide to being “out” within the community...of being accepted in the community or not. Seth is a bit brilliant!
Wow! A dash of romance, a pinch of editorial and a bit of family drama combined to make the writer Peter the Bountiful and waiter Andre the “Large” story. This is a bit of an unusual story. It starts out as a romance but it evolves into a journey of self-exploration, of identity in the gay community. It feels like an insider guide to being “out” within the community...of being accepted in the community or not. Seth is a bit brilliant!
July 30, 2019
“Maybe the person we know least of all is the one in the mirror.”
As far as the story line in this stunning book is concerned, I can’t add a whole lot to the blurb, which describes Peter’s journey perfectly.
I do, however, have a few things I want to say about the story, because to me it was far more than the sum of the parts as described above.
As I said in the first line of my review, this is a stunning book, and I mean that both in a lyrical and in the literal sense of the word. On more than one occasion while reading this story I was literally stunned. Sometimes it was the quality of an insight, sometimes the way something had been phrased, and at other times it was the strength of the emotions Peter’s story brought up in me.
While Fem most definitely is a romantic novel, to me the romance almost took second place to everything else that was happening with and to Peter. For me the main story was Peter’s journey of discovery, his awakening, his finding of himself.
And it is a glorious, although not always straightforward, journey. Peter has a lot of past hurt to overcome. The world he grew up him has taught him his true self isn’t good ‘manly’ enough, so he hides who he really is and ‘mans up’ (God, I hate that term), because he’s learned at an early age that:
“So this doesn’t have to do with how I look. It has to do with me personally. Not how I look. How I am.”
Enter Andre who, unlike men Peter has previously met, likes Peter exactly as he is. Andre who, in fact, can’t wait to help Peter discover everything he’s fled from in the past. What follows is almost a re-birth as Peter slowly allows himself to be true to himself, first in the privacy of his own house and later, very slowly, also when he’s out and about.
There are no miracle revelations in this story, thankfully. The beauty of this book lies in the slow but unstoppable progress Peter makes. With Peter the reader moves from past pain and fears through cautious hope to a full and glorious belief in all that he is and, most importantly, that he’s not just good enough but magnificent.
Before you think this is a book filled with ‘just’ soul-searching, allow me to reassure you. Whereas Peter’s development is the core of this touching tale, there are numerous moments of light and humorous relief, not in a small part thanks to a cast of wonderful secondary characters such as Pixie (they/them). And Peter’s mommy is a wonderful example of characters being anything but one dimensional.
I’m not sure my review is doing this book and all the emotions I experienced while reading it, justice. Suffice to say this was a touching, thought-provoking, and ultimately heart-warming story that will stay with me because it was very well told and felt incredibly personal to the author, as if I had been given the key to his heart. Thank you Seth King.
“That’s what the best books do: they heal things in you that you didn’t even know were broken.”
As far as the story line in this stunning book is concerned, I can’t add a whole lot to the blurb, which describes Peter’s journey perfectly.
I do, however, have a few things I want to say about the story, because to me it was far more than the sum of the parts as described above.
As I said in the first line of my review, this is a stunning book, and I mean that both in a lyrical and in the literal sense of the word. On more than one occasion while reading this story I was literally stunned. Sometimes it was the quality of an insight, sometimes the way something had been phrased, and at other times it was the strength of the emotions Peter’s story brought up in me.
While Fem most definitely is a romantic novel, to me the romance almost took second place to everything else that was happening with and to Peter. For me the main story was Peter’s journey of discovery, his awakening, his finding of himself.
And it is a glorious, although not always straightforward, journey. Peter has a lot of past hurt to overcome. The world he grew up him has taught him his true self isn’t good ‘manly’ enough, so he hides who he really is and ‘mans up’ (God, I hate that term), because he’s learned at an early age that:
“So this doesn’t have to do with how I look. It has to do with me personally. Not how I look. How I am.”
Enter Andre who, unlike men Peter has previously met, likes Peter exactly as he is. Andre who, in fact, can’t wait to help Peter discover everything he’s fled from in the past. What follows is almost a re-birth as Peter slowly allows himself to be true to himself, first in the privacy of his own house and later, very slowly, also when he’s out and about.
There are no miracle revelations in this story, thankfully. The beauty of this book lies in the slow but unstoppable progress Peter makes. With Peter the reader moves from past pain and fears through cautious hope to a full and glorious belief in all that he is and, most importantly, that he’s not just good enough but magnificent.
Before you think this is a book filled with ‘just’ soul-searching, allow me to reassure you. Whereas Peter’s development is the core of this touching tale, there are numerous moments of light and humorous relief, not in a small part thanks to a cast of wonderful secondary characters such as Pixie (they/them). And Peter’s mommy is a wonderful example of characters being anything but one dimensional.
I’m not sure my review is doing this book and all the emotions I experienced while reading it, justice. Suffice to say this was a touching, thought-provoking, and ultimately heart-warming story that will stay with me because it was very well told and felt incredibly personal to the author, as if I had been given the key to his heart. Thank you Seth King.
“That’s what the best books do: they heal things in you that you didn’t even know were broken.”
July 16, 2021
Definitely a mixed report here. This book is clearly straight from the heart and I had trouble putting it down -- read it cover to cover in an afternoon. There's one speech by Shonda that gave me actual goosebumps and that kind of thing hardly ever happens to me when I read.
But...
It's not actually very well written? The action is frequently interrupted by paragraphs and paragraphs of the narrator telling us about how he feels about his femininity, how he's been rejected for it, how he felt in his childhood or about his mother. There's a fair amount of repetition of theme between some of those passages. Sometimes it's a different character telling, telling, telling. I feel like with a solid editor it could have been half as long and had twice the impact. I also think it could have used a sensitivity reader for mental health and psychotherapy issues. (Seriously, no decent therapist will There are also just inconsistencies that an editor could have caught; for example It's also pretty blatantly self-insertion wish fulfilment, which really comes to a head when
And yet, it did move me. If the premise grabs you, it may be worth your time.
But...
It's not actually very well written? The action is frequently interrupted by paragraphs and paragraphs of the narrator telling us about how he feels about his femininity, how he's been rejected for it, how he felt in his childhood or about his mother. There's a fair amount of repetition of theme between some of those passages. Sometimes it's a different character telling, telling, telling. I feel like with a solid editor it could have been half as long and had twice the impact. I also think it could have used a sensitivity reader for mental health and psychotherapy issues. (Seriously, no decent therapist will There are also just inconsistencies that an editor could have caught; for example It's also pretty blatantly self-insertion wish fulfilment, which really comes to a head when
And yet, it did move me. If the premise grabs you, it may be worth your time.
September 13, 2020
This was my first time reading this author. This was a good read. Peter Martin who is openly gay has had to deal with a lifetime being too feminine so too protect himself he is taking his way through life never letting anyone see his real self. When he meets Andre Munoz his life changes. Andre is a traditionally masculine gay man who happens to love men like Peter, and who treasures Peter for everything he ever hated and concealed about himself. Andre is also into the “lace lifestyle,” a mysterious underground world of men who reject society’s rules and engage in sex while wearing gender-bending looks involving lingerie, fishnets, heels, and more. Peter is instantly hooked – on Andre, and on the lingerie. I loved that Peter fights for the life that he wants for himself. This was a good read I think what made the book for me was the authors story with his own struggles with being too fem. This book was well written with no errors in grammar or spelling. I am looking forward to reading more from this author.
Want to read
May 31, 2019
Fem (ARC) was graciously provided to me by the author for an honest review. I will voluntarily read this book and provide my honest opinion. Review to follow.
June 6, 2019
Fem is real, raw, gut-wrenchingly sad, and full of hope. I laughed, raged, and cried. I can’t tell you how many times I had to dry my eyes. At times it left me speechless. This honest and emotional story takes you on a realistic journey of a man who struggles to accept all facets of his personality and live his truth. MCs Peter and Andre’ remind us words have power. They can tear us down and create self-hatred just as easily as they can inspire confidence, joy, and love. Complex, relevant, and should be required reading for everyone over the age of 18. (There are some HAF sexy times not suitable for the children 😉).
June 12, 2019
FEM POWER
I am totally in love with Seth's writing. Everything he writes is both heartfelt and heartbreaking. Even if you aren't part of the LGBTQ community you can relate with the bullying and the loss of a loved one. Secondary characters are amazing and fun! The love between Peter and Andre is a once in a lifetime love.
I am totally in love with Seth's writing. Everything he writes is both heartfelt and heartbreaking. Even if you aren't part of the LGBTQ community you can relate with the bullying and the loss of a loved one. Secondary characters are amazing and fun! The love between Peter and Andre is a once in a lifetime love.
June 7, 2019
I cried, I laughed and I LOVED it. Highly recommended.
dnf
June 4, 2020DNF. Got crude fast - not for me
June 23, 2019
So I was thinking a lot about why I didn't like this more/rate it higher. Seth King puts a lot of himself into his books, which is great, but is also where this book becomes a fine line between a fictionalized memoir and a mm romance story. I liked parts of the romance story and I liked parts of the memoir but I didn't like the combination as much. It felt like the author was venting through a fictional character at points and the two sides just felt disjointed. I liked the romance well enough but I actually think this would have worked much better as a straight up memoir/nonfiction account. I'd honestly be interested in reading that.
Read
March 17, 2022Wanted to like this SO goddamn bad but I'm afraid I had to DNF @ 19%. It had all the makings of a book I should've loved. A femme guy finding himself, asserting his personhood & unconventional self-expression despite the imposition of the life script™️ and societal + familial expectations vastly (and sometimes violently) at odds with this personal ideal. The story also seemed to come from a deeply personal place for this author (based on the foreward) and I wanted to honor that.
BUT. The writing is clunky and the characters feel wooden in their interactions.
BUT. The writing is clunky and the characters feel wooden in their interactions.
September 3, 2022
An ever-relevant book
July 12, 2019
I read this book over the course of two days which is quite fast for me. I could hardly put it down and I really enjoyed it. First, I‘d like to quote something from the book:
“Fem” – a pejorative used in the gay community to describe men who fail to fit the traditionally masculine stereotype that is often most desired in the gay dating world.
Peter, author of Gay Fiction, is such a „fem”, yet he tries to present himself to the world as masculine as possible, despite not being happy with this at all. However his dating experiences are quite terrible and make him quite desperate until he meets the Puerto Rican André who accepts him for just who he is. But that‘s only the beginning of this story...
The novel covers quite a lot of topics – gender roles and crossdressing, kink (in this case, men having sex while dressed in female lingerie), mental health issues, problems with exclusionary behaviour in the gay community, the art of being a fabulous drag queen and more. Another subject is that as an author you have a voice that gets heard and the responsibility that comes with that. At some point, Peter says, „(…) but now I realize that it is no longer my job to make anyone feel comfortable. It is my job to throw the truth at the world, ugly and jagged as it may be, and hope it touches someone, moves them, transforms them in some way.”
All of these topics get handled well by the author, with a lot of empathy and insight.
Here are a few more things I liked about the book:
An important side character, Peter‘s best friend, is genderqueer and prefers the pronoun „they”. This character gets included into this story with such tact it was really lovely to read about them.
If you like erotic scenes, you will not be disappointed. Yet in my opinion, it wasn‘t too much of that, either. At the same time, this novel is pretty romantic yet it doesn‘t get kitschy.
It‘s a feelgood-story because between the chemistry between the two protagonists is just right and there is no big or unnecessary drama between them – even though, as in any good story, there are conflicts yet these have other origins.
And last but not least, this novel is about being yourself, your true self, against all odds.
In the afterword, Seth King explains that he simply had to write this novel because the story is partly based on his own life - and that makes the quote about „throwing the truth at the world” I mentioned above even more real.
“Fem” – a pejorative used in the gay community to describe men who fail to fit the traditionally masculine stereotype that is often most desired in the gay dating world.
Peter, author of Gay Fiction, is such a „fem”, yet he tries to present himself to the world as masculine as possible, despite not being happy with this at all. However his dating experiences are quite terrible and make him quite desperate until he meets the Puerto Rican André who accepts him for just who he is. But that‘s only the beginning of this story...
The novel covers quite a lot of topics – gender roles and crossdressing, kink (in this case, men having sex while dressed in female lingerie), mental health issues, problems with exclusionary behaviour in the gay community, the art of being a fabulous drag queen and more. Another subject is that as an author you have a voice that gets heard and the responsibility that comes with that. At some point, Peter says, „(…) but now I realize that it is no longer my job to make anyone feel comfortable. It is my job to throw the truth at the world, ugly and jagged as it may be, and hope it touches someone, moves them, transforms them in some way.”
All of these topics get handled well by the author, with a lot of empathy and insight.
Here are a few more things I liked about the book:
An important side character, Peter‘s best friend, is genderqueer and prefers the pronoun „they”. This character gets included into this story with such tact it was really lovely to read about them.
If you like erotic scenes, you will not be disappointed. Yet in my opinion, it wasn‘t too much of that, either. At the same time, this novel is pretty romantic yet it doesn‘t get kitschy.
It‘s a feelgood-story because between the chemistry between the two protagonists is just right and there is no big or unnecessary drama between them – even though, as in any good story, there are conflicts yet these have other origins.
And last but not least, this novel is about being yourself, your true self, against all odds.
In the afterword, Seth King explains that he simply had to write this novel because the story is partly based on his own life - and that makes the quote about „throwing the truth at the world” I mentioned above even more real.
April 20, 2021
3.5 stars? - Not sure how to rate this one. This book had too much ending. (Which I feel weird/bad saying, bc so much of this book is about how the world can find feminine gay men to be 'too much.' To be clear, the characterization did not bother me at all.)
I started reading this one before the two novellas I read by this author last week, but got distracted away from this one by some buddy reads. This has a very strong voice, and a sort of modern fairy tale style in the first half. There are a lot of asides and commentary and discourse about how gay men are perceived and what the expectations of the community are and there’s a pretty wise non-binary best friend who is a good sounding board for the protagonist. It’s possibly a bit preachy, but I think the exploratory nature of the narrative—someone finding his way into a community and rethinking his assumptions—allows for those kinds of musings. (I wrote this at roughly the halfway point of the book.)
However, it spins out in too many directions from there to be a really satisfying narrative. It goes down several rabbit holes, and the discourse doesn't relent as we get further into the story. The romance isn't the tension, apart from Peter doubting Andre's love a few times, which I actually liked. It was refreshing that that they came together early and were together with little drama for the rest of the book, but add that to Peter exploring his feminine side, being a popular author, going on a book tour, his mother's health spiraling and everything that happens after . . . ultimately, I think it needed a better edit. I think the book could have comfortably contained all of these elements, but instead it barely contained them. It was ten pounds of plot in a five pound bag.
That being said, I will probably read more from this author, because his voice is compelling and his characters are interesting. I learned some things and highlighted passages,
I started reading this one before the two novellas I read by this author last week, but got distracted away from this one by some buddy reads. This has a very strong voice, and a sort of modern fairy tale style in the first half. There are a lot of asides and commentary and discourse about how gay men are perceived and what the expectations of the community are and there’s a pretty wise non-binary best friend who is a good sounding board for the protagonist. It’s possibly a bit preachy, but I think the exploratory nature of the narrative—someone finding his way into a community and rethinking his assumptions—allows for those kinds of musings. (I wrote this at roughly the halfway point of the book.)
However, it spins out in too many directions from there to be a really satisfying narrative. It goes down several rabbit holes, and the discourse doesn't relent as we get further into the story. The romance isn't the tension, apart from Peter doubting Andre's love a few times, which I actually liked. It was refreshing that that they came together early and were together with little drama for the rest of the book, but add that to Peter exploring his feminine side, being a popular author, going on a book tour, his mother's health spiraling and everything that happens after . . . ultimately, I think it needed a better edit. I think the book could have comfortably contained all of these elements, but instead it barely contained them. It was ten pounds of plot in a five pound bag.
That being said, I will probably read more from this author, because his voice is compelling and his characters are interesting. I learned some things and highlighted passages,
August 15, 2019
This book is incredible for so many reasons, but mainly because it feels to have been so therapeutic for the author.
Peter has always been on the feminine side of homosexuality. He was also always teased about it. And growing up in Jacksonville, FL didn’t help. What also didn’t help is that Peter’s mother took part of the slurs and name calling.
Following a string of failed dates and relationships, Peter Martin discovers Lace, a dating app for those who fancy cross dressing and are into lingerie kink. And that’s where he meets Andre.
Their mutual crush is pretty much instantaneous and Peter believes that since it flares so quickly and their chemistry is through the roof, that must mean it will fizzle out just as fast. But Andre keeps proving him wrong at every turn, and slowly Peter’s self-doubt and low self-esteem start to shift and he blooms. He finds courage to stand up for himself, he finds the strength to face him mother with everything that has frustrated him before and he finds the confident in himself, to believe that he deserves Andre’s love.
FEM is a touching tale of growing up hating yourself, but slowly and gradually, finding the right place in life. A place where different is accepted as normal, where each uniqueness is special and cherished, and where you’re singled out not for what you are but for your talents and what you give to those surrounding you.
I loved it.
Peter has always been on the feminine side of homosexuality. He was also always teased about it. And growing up in Jacksonville, FL didn’t help. What also didn’t help is that Peter’s mother took part of the slurs and name calling.
Following a string of failed dates and relationships, Peter Martin discovers Lace, a dating app for those who fancy cross dressing and are into lingerie kink. And that’s where he meets Andre.
Their mutual crush is pretty much instantaneous and Peter believes that since it flares so quickly and their chemistry is through the roof, that must mean it will fizzle out just as fast. But Andre keeps proving him wrong at every turn, and slowly Peter’s self-doubt and low self-esteem start to shift and he blooms. He finds courage to stand up for himself, he finds the strength to face him mother with everything that has frustrated him before and he finds the confident in himself, to believe that he deserves Andre’s love.
FEM is a touching tale of growing up hating yourself, but slowly and gradually, finding the right place in life. A place where different is accepted as normal, where each uniqueness is special and cherished, and where you’re singled out not for what you are but for your talents and what you give to those surrounding you.
I loved it.
June 1, 2019
In typical Seth King fashion, Fem is written with transparency, honesty, and heart.
Fem's a beautiful exploration of Peter's feminine side which he's never been allowed to explore before. I love the freedom he finds when he's finally able to experiment with what he likes. Being able to discover who he really is, and what he really wants leads to a feel-good story.
At it's heart, it's a story of learning to be comfortable in one's own skin. It's also a story of regret and guilt, as well as a story of sacrifice and learning to love oneself.
Peter's relationship with his mother is heart-breaking. As a bi-polar person, his mother abused and hurt him for years. But, cue the tears when she admits that hurt people hurt people. The author provides an amazing look into mental health, reminding us to separate the illness from the person. This is an accomplished tale of understanding, empathy, and forgiveness. It's also a tale of pain, hurt, and rage.
Fem is a wonderful story of one's journey towards self-acceptance. Seth King's writing style is accomplished, with a fantastic storyline, wonderful characters, and a perfect pace. Read this book if you're looking for an amazing story of a man struggling with his feminine side.
Fem's a beautiful exploration of Peter's feminine side which he's never been allowed to explore before. I love the freedom he finds when he's finally able to experiment with what he likes. Being able to discover who he really is, and what he really wants leads to a feel-good story.
At it's heart, it's a story of learning to be comfortable in one's own skin. It's also a story of regret and guilt, as well as a story of sacrifice and learning to love oneself.
Peter's relationship with his mother is heart-breaking. As a bi-polar person, his mother abused and hurt him for years. But, cue the tears when she admits that hurt people hurt people. The author provides an amazing look into mental health, reminding us to separate the illness from the person. This is an accomplished tale of understanding, empathy, and forgiveness. It's also a tale of pain, hurt, and rage.
Fem is a wonderful story of one's journey towards self-acceptance. Seth King's writing style is accomplished, with a fantastic storyline, wonderful characters, and a perfect pace. Read this book if you're looking for an amazing story of a man struggling with his feminine side.
June 24, 2019
When I started this book, I expected the usual trope of a fem guy finding a fem guy lover. I didn’t expect what I found. This is a book about acceptance. Not only of yourself, but the acceptance that needs to happen around you. Acceptance within the gay community of all types of “gay.” Acceptance of people who, for whatever reason, can only love you or be there for you to the best of their ability and maybe not as you expect or need. Acceptance that life is a journey and everyone must learn who they are at their most basic level in order to be free. I learned so much in reading this book that I never had cause to consider before. This is a book about life, gay, straight, polka dotted, or striped. It’s about life and how to live each day while becoming the person you were always meant to be. So, put on that Revlon red and black pumps...it’s totally okay to be a little “fem.”
October 24, 2025
Beautiful and raw. The romance was nice, but it qas more a book about selfdiscovery and empowerment. It felt authentic in a way that is difficult to fake. The story had many, many pieces that could only come from someone who had went through the struggles discribed.
But even though the story touched on many difficult topics, it did so in a way that felt loving and safe. I just finished the book and feel peace, appreciation for many people and things in my life and in life in general as well as a new perspective on certain real issues. I often feel horrible whenever a book touches on certain topics but thia time it felt authentic and not at all manipulative to make the reader feel deeply.
English is my second language so I feel I don't have enough vocabulary to describe what I mean besides real, authentic and beautiful.
But even though the story touched on many difficult topics, it did so in a way that felt loving and safe. I just finished the book and feel peace, appreciation for many people and things in my life and in life in general as well as a new perspective on certain real issues. I often feel horrible whenever a book touches on certain topics but thia time it felt authentic and not at all manipulative to make the reader feel deeply.
English is my second language so I feel I don't have enough vocabulary to describe what I mean besides real, authentic and beautiful.
July 21, 2019
Very personal...Wow!
Dating app single point of view
Standalone
A chance meeting on a dating app leads Peter on an emotional journey to connect with himself and his mother.
This book gutted me! I sobbed through most of it. This author laid out his emotional truth and it hit home for me because the issues addressed transcend gender and sexuality. It’s a love story but the romantic love story is falls behind the others. I loved how eloquently the author described the complex love hate relationship between an ill parent and child, the love hate we can have for ourselves when struggling to find ourselves, and challenges of managing anxiety and depression. This really resonated with me and I felt seen. I also felt I was really able to see Peter and Pickles.
Dating app single point of view
Standalone
A chance meeting on a dating app leads Peter on an emotional journey to connect with himself and his mother.
This book gutted me! I sobbed through most of it. This author laid out his emotional truth and it hit home for me because the issues addressed transcend gender and sexuality. It’s a love story but the romantic love story is falls behind the others. I loved how eloquently the author described the complex love hate relationship between an ill parent and child, the love hate we can have for ourselves when struggling to find ourselves, and challenges of managing anxiety and depression. This really resonated with me and I felt seen. I also felt I was really able to see Peter and Pickles.
June 7, 2019
Wow
Everybody takes something from a book... A line a look a piece of something that makes sense to only them... In this time in this space.....
Thats what happened to me....... I loved the storyline because I'm this story was me... .I was abused and had to conform... No to being a gay but to being a child ..To being who I am ..A girl who was suppose to be mothers daughter but to my father I was a whore like my mom I took her beatings because she left I had to stay.... So this book touched me in the fact we all are trying to be are true selves . We are who we want to be and no one is asking you to agree just let us be ..Thanks Seth
Everybody takes something from a book... A line a look a piece of something that makes sense to only them... In this time in this space.....
Thats what happened to me....... I loved the storyline because I'm this story was me... .I was abused and had to conform... No to being a gay but to being a child ..To being who I am ..A girl who was suppose to be mothers daughter but to my father I was a whore like my mom I took her beatings because she left I had to stay.... So this book touched me in the fact we all are trying to be are true selves . We are who we want to be and no one is asking you to agree just let us be ..Thanks Seth
June 11, 2019
This was the first book I've read from Seth King and I'm so honor to read this book. This book is an absolute delight and the best book I've read in 2/3 years.
I never cried so much reading a book (that end and the final note "killed" me because there was something in Peter that reminds me of the way I saw the author). I absolutely loved it.
My dream is for anyone to find their Andre, a person who loves no matter what
And all people gay/straight/trans/bi must read this book in order to see that words matter and sometimes mark us forever
Thank you Seth for writing the most amazing book...ever...
I never cried so much reading a book (that end and the final note "killed" me because there was something in Peter that reminds me of the way I saw the author). I absolutely loved it.
My dream is for anyone to find their Andre, a person who loves no matter what
And all people gay/straight/trans/bi must read this book in order to see that words matter and sometimes mark us forever
Thank you Seth for writing the most amazing book...ever...
August 7, 2020
Solid story
Yes there’s some editing mistakes. But that’s common with self publishing. And not worth a detractor of a star in my opinion. The story was engaging and necessary. For the author himself and for all those fem boys out there. Or shit anyone who doesn’t present how the world thinks they should. In the end it’s about self acceptance and not letting others opinions change the way you see yourself.
This story was heartwarming while tackling some major issues. It was thought provoking & tackled a subject that needs to be talked about.
Bravo. Definitely worth the money.
Yes there’s some editing mistakes. But that’s common with self publishing. And not worth a detractor of a star in my opinion. The story was engaging and necessary. For the author himself and for all those fem boys out there. Or shit anyone who doesn’t present how the world thinks they should. In the end it’s about self acceptance and not letting others opinions change the way you see yourself.
This story was heartwarming while tackling some major issues. It was thought provoking & tackled a subject that needs to be talked about.
Bravo. Definitely worth the money.
June 1, 2019
This book is real, raw, gritty and sassy.
We go on a whirlwind adventure as Peter not Pete, discovers who he really is through lessons of life and lace! 😍
After unsuccessful attempts with Apps he is about to give up, when a new app could possibly change his life!
And what a change it makes when he meets Andre! A very sensual and caring man who accepts Peter for him and gives him hope in becoming the person he wants to be!
This book was a wave of emotion, it gave me the laughs and the feels and it was fabulous!
We go on a whirlwind adventure as Peter not Pete, discovers who he really is through lessons of life and lace! 😍
After unsuccessful attempts with Apps he is about to give up, when a new app could possibly change his life!
And what a change it makes when he meets Andre! A very sensual and caring man who accepts Peter for him and gives him hope in becoming the person he wants to be!
This book was a wave of emotion, it gave me the laughs and the feels and it was fabulous!
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